1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Hey, Hurdler's Emily A. 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 2: Badi. 3 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: Here sneaking in to your podcast feed on a Friday 4 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:11,719 Speaker 1: with a super super special episode of Hurdle. Today, I'm 5 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:17,160 Speaker 1: chatting with Aya Canai. She's the cheap fashion director at Herst. 6 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: She's also a lovely friend of mine. I am so 7 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,959 Speaker 1: lucky that her and I got to sit down this 8 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 1: week as a part of Trellis Health's fertility boot camp series. 9 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: Trellis is an egg freezing fertility studio here in New 10 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: York City. And why this all kind of ties together is. 11 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: Aya and I talked about a lot of sensitive stuff, 12 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: including her decision to freeze her eggs, a hurdle moment 13 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: which was her running a marathon after having a miscarriage, 14 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 1: and then, trust me, it ends with a really beautiful 15 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: story and a little spoiler alert. She's got a beautiful 16 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: little girl running around. So I don't want to bog 17 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: this down with too much of an intro, but I 18 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: do want to say thank you so much to Trellis 19 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: for having me. If you want to learn more information 20 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 1: about Trellis, feel free to go on over to their Instagram. 21 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: It's just at Trellis Health. It's t R. E. L. 22 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: L I s health. I just also want to add 23 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: in another thank you to Aya, not just for showing 24 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: up and being so willing to sit down with me, 25 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: but for your honesty and your vulnerability. And I know 26 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: this isn't an easy topic to talk about, but I 27 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: think that that level of vulnerability it's going to impact 28 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: so many people. I have no doubt about it. If 29 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 1: you want to learn more about Aya and keep up 30 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: with her and her adorable family, she is at Aya 31 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: can I that's a y a k A. Nai. And 32 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: of course you know the drill at Hurdle podcasts at 33 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: Emily a Body And if you have a Hurdle moment 34 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: of your own to share or just want to say hi, 35 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: it's Emily at Hurdle dot us. With that, let's get 36 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: to this really special live episode of Hurdle. It feels 37 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: like yesterday when you and I met and we were 38 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: sitting at a round table at a breakfast before the marathon. 39 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: It's like five years ago. 40 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, in La in l oh my god, geez, we 41 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 3: were about to do a run in downtown La. 42 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: In downtown La. Yeah we were. And a lot has 43 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: changed since then. Yeah, absolutely, And before we get into 44 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 1: all of that what I'd love to do is talk 45 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: to you a little bit and know a little bit 46 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 1: more about where you come from. So where did you 47 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: grow up? 48 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,079 Speaker 3: I grew up here in New York City. My parents 49 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 3: live about fifteen blocks away from here, this very place 50 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 3: that we are. So I grew up here in New 51 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 3: York City, went to school also here in New York, 52 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 3: and still live here. I live in Brooklyn, and so 53 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 3: I'm born and bred New Yorker. Went away to college 54 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 3: in Oberlin, Ohio. But have pretty much been a New 55 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 3: Yorker my whole life. 56 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: Okay, a New Yorker, tried and true. Absolutely you think 57 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: about leaving. 58 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 3: Ever, sometimes I think the nature of my career is 59 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 3: such that, to be honest, there's like only a few 60 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 3: places in the world where I can be employed. So 61 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 3: I have to pick those places to do my job. 62 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 1: And usually when I enter you my bad. I should 63 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,519 Speaker 1: have let everybody know what you do. If you don't 64 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: know already, Aya is the chief fashion director at Hurst, 65 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: So why don't you tell me a little bit? But 66 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: what does that mean? What does the chief fashion director do? 67 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 3: So? I am the fashion director over several brands at Hearst. 68 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:48,119 Speaker 3: So that includes Cosmopolitan, Women's Health, seventeen, Good Housekeeping, and 69 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 3: several other of our family of brands, and so that 70 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 3: includes print content, digital content, videos, branded content. It basically 71 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 3: means that my life is like not boring in the slightest, 72 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 3: and every day is quite different from another. I am 73 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 3: still a fashion editor on set of photo shoots, so 74 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 3: I work with celebrities and models, styling covers for Cosmopolitan 75 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,039 Speaker 3: or Women's Health and making sure that everything looks on 76 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 3: brand for all the projects that we have. And then 77 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 3: I also have a team of fashion editors and stylists 78 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 3: who work with me. 79 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: Awesome. Did you think you'd want to do something like 80 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:28,840 Speaker 1: that when you grew up? 81 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 3: No? I mean I think that as a young person, 82 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 3: I knew I wanted to be creative, and I didn't 83 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,840 Speaker 3: know what that would mean necessarily, and I definitely explored 84 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,679 Speaker 3: a lot of different avenues before I became a fashion editor. 85 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 2: But it really suits. 86 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 3: Me because I am strongly interested in creative execution and 87 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 3: photography and fashion. But I also have a really prominent 88 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 3: sort of business side of how I like to work, 89 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 3: and so being able to blend those things in one 90 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,719 Speaker 3: job is really quite lucky. 91 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 1: Do you remember what you wore to your first day 92 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 1: of work as a fashion editor. 93 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,799 Speaker 3: When I was an assistant, I got my first job, 94 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:19,479 Speaker 3: so I did not realize that, you know, people go 95 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 3: to work in like a suit. So I was wearing 96 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 3: like through store clothes and like clogs, and I had like, 97 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 3: you know, half a shaved head, and you know, like 98 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,600 Speaker 3: blonde chips to my hair. So I didn't really like 99 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 3: follow the rules of how you're supposed to look. I don't. 100 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if there's one way you're supposed 101 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: to look when it comes to fashion. I remember when 102 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: I went in for my interview itself, like exactly what 103 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: I was wearing when I worked there, and I was 104 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: wearing a denim dress that I bought at Gap the 105 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 1: day before, because I was trying to be the right 106 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 1: blend of like not too dressed up for my interview 107 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: but also casual. I mean, I got the job, you 108 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: got the story, so it worked. It worked, okay. So 109 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 1: grew up in New York, native New Yorker, and you 110 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: knew you wanted to be creative. 111 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 3: So did you go to college for dot dot? I 112 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 3: was an art history major, art and art history major. 113 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 3: I went to Oberlin, which is in Ohio, and to 114 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 3: be honest, like Oberlin is more of like a general 115 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 3: liberal arts education. You learn a lot of different things. 116 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 3: And so I am really glad for that kind of 117 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 3: a broad base of education because it allowed me to 118 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 3: sort of have the freedom to do a lot of 119 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 3: different things as I quote unquote grew up. But you know, 120 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 3: I wasn't very much like directed in what I wanted 121 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,919 Speaker 3: to do. I just was kind of trying out things. 122 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: Trying things. So when you graduated college, did you immediately 123 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: verge onto this path of being? 124 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 2: You know, not at all. 125 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 3: So when I graduated from college, and this is like 126 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 3: a whole different podcast, but I was a puppeteer for 127 00:06:56,160 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 3: a couple years. I know. Yeah, so I studied puppet 128 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 3: theater for several years. And this has nothing to do 129 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 3: with egg freezing for everyone. 130 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: I just need to throw in that as father is 131 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: here and he seems to enjoy this time of your life. 132 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 3: Yes, So I was a puppeteer, working at like various different, 133 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 3: like experimental like theater companies here in New York. I 134 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 3: was also working in a vegan restaurant because being a 135 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 3: puppeteer is like a tough salary. I don't even know 136 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 3: if there is really a salary. But so at that time, 137 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 3: I had like a big realization that I didn't necessarily 138 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 3: want to do that as like my quote unquote career. 139 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 3: So I had always been interested in fashion as well. 140 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 3: My mother works in fashion. My father has been a 141 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 3: creative his whole life as well, So I've been surrounded 142 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 3: by creative people growing up. And so I got a 143 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 3: job at a magazine and that's kind of how I 144 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 3: started my fashion career. So I did a lot of 145 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 3: different very things in my early twenties, which certainly I 146 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 3: encourage all young people that I work with now to 147 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 3: do as well, because you don't have to pick your 148 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 3: one career path and do that forever. Even though even 149 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 3: now I don't think I'm gonna do the one thing forever. 150 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, do you have dreams of going back to puppeteering? 151 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 3: No, not that, not that I mean I haven't. I 152 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 3: haven't decided what else I want to do. But I 153 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 3: just I don't want to ever feel like this is 154 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,239 Speaker 3: my only thing that I'll do with my life totally. 155 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,839 Speaker 1: So I think that I can relate to you in 156 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: this idea of getting into media and getting super busy 157 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 1: and getting caught up in so many of the things 158 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: that you listed, which are such a fun part of 159 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: the job, right, like the photo shoots and the writing, 160 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 1: and then travel, which is abundant. You and I were 161 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,839 Speaker 1: just rapping about our travel schedules after this, before we 162 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: even started. And so I assume that for a greater 163 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: part of maybe your twenties in your early thirties, that 164 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,719 Speaker 1: that was a big that was all the to do. 165 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was the exclusive thing that I did with 166 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 3: my life once I got involved in the fashion industry. 167 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:09,320 Speaker 3: I would say I probably worked seven days a week 168 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 3: for you know, the better part of like you know, 169 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:16,559 Speaker 3: from age twenty five to thirty five, not because it 170 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 3: was what was being asked of me, but because that's 171 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 3: what I liked to do with my time. And I 172 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 3: certainly don't regret any part of that. It allowed me 173 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:29,200 Speaker 3: to really grow my career, and I'm proud of everything 174 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,440 Speaker 3: that I did during those years and it was great, 175 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 3: no regrets. 176 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people in the room, I 177 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: also hear your job title now, and I mean, like, 178 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 1: for me, that's the kind of title that I dreamed 179 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: about having when I was growing up, for sure, So 180 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 1: I'd be a little interested just to know kind of 181 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,199 Speaker 1: the stepping stones of how you got to being your 182 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,079 Speaker 1: current role. So you started as a fashion assistant, yes. 183 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,439 Speaker 3: In media, which is like when you're a fashion assistant, 184 00:09:54,480 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 3: you're basically like everyone's gopher, yeah without swearing. Yeah, yeah, exactly, 185 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 3: I'm going to keep it clean here. At that time, 186 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 3: you know, it was a while ago, and I you know, 187 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 3: I would do things like walk people's dogs and pick 188 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,959 Speaker 3: up their dry cleaning in addition to doing all of 189 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 3: my like assistant office work, so it really was like 190 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 3: an around the clock type of job. I had the 191 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 3: really great fortune of working at a lot of media 192 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 3: brands as they were starting. So the main one, my 193 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 3: first job was at teen Vogue when it was not 194 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 3: even a magazine yet. It was a launch product of 195 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 3: Conde Nast, and so I was super lucky to become 196 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 3: the assistant there because there was no magazine and that 197 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 3: meant there were like ten people that worked there, So 198 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 3: I got to do everything. And at that time, you know, 199 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 3: I would be able to have daily conversations about projects 200 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,680 Speaker 3: with the editor in chief, whereas now, like an assistant 201 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,199 Speaker 3: level person would never be talking to an editor in chief. 202 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,679 Speaker 3: So that aspect of being able to really be in 203 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 3: the trenches making things was super lucky for me, and 204 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,680 Speaker 3: it allowed me to sort of climb the ladder faster 205 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 3: than I would have otherwise if I was at a 206 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 3: bigger brand, you know. 207 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 2: What I mean. 208 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 3: Of course, So I worked at teen Vogue. I worked 209 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:19,559 Speaker 3: at Nylon Magazine, which is another independent magazine that used 210 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 3: to be in Soho. I also was a freelance stylist 211 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 3: for several years. I worked at Shopbop, which is a 212 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 3: subsidiary of Amazon. You might have heard of, so it's 213 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 3: their fashion boutique on which is part of Amazon. So 214 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 3: I've been in the e commerce and retail world as well. 215 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 3: And then after that I went to go work at Cosmo, 216 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 3: which is part of Hurst, and kind of grew my 217 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 3: career from there working with a lot of different brands. 218 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 3: So it just kind of a lot of things have 219 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,559 Speaker 3: come naturally. And then I'm a person who every year 220 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,680 Speaker 3: I want to sort of be gathering new experiences and 221 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 3: taking on new challenges. I wouldn't have been in my 222 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 3: job at Hurst for seven years it's been if it 223 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 3: hadn't been the kind of place where every year I 224 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 3: could do something new and different. 225 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: I think that's so important, Right, It's like every year 226 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: not just setting those New Year's resolutions, but then also 227 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 1: kind of evaluating your progress and checking in with yourself 228 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 1: to see if you are doing the things that you 229 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: set out to do. So every year you have this 230 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: goal that you want to mix things up, so you 231 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: kind of make a list for yourself of like, how 232 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 1: can I do that this year, not just making that list, 233 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,079 Speaker 1: but then revisiting it, because when you revisit it, that's 234 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: when you get the growth that you're talking about. 235 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think there are good and bad things 236 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,959 Speaker 3: about being a goal oriented person. Like I am the 237 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 3: kind of person who I want to set a goal 238 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 3: and then I want to achieve it, like and I 239 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,439 Speaker 3: will do anything to make that happen. And when I 240 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:51,319 Speaker 3: was thirty five, I was dating my boyfriend at the time, 241 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 3: and I really had decided that we were going to get. 242 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 1: Married and have kids. 243 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:04,079 Speaker 3: I decided that, and it was such such a useful 244 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 3: choice of me to make. And it wasn't that he 245 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 3: didn't want those things. And you know, and this is 246 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 3: like a subtlety that I am not that subtle of 247 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 3: a person to get, but that one. 248 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 2: Of the things that he said, he said he was like. 249 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 3: I would like it if we could decide these things together, 250 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 3: Like I would like it if we could have these 251 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 3: big choices in our life be something that we decide, 252 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 3: you know, as a pair, because these kinds of choices, 253 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 3: you can't like move forward with these huge moments in 254 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 3: your life without being a line. 255 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 2: And I was like, hmmm. 256 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 3: And so I had this feeling like, oh my god, 257 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 3: all of a sudden, the clock is ticking. In fact, 258 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 3: the clock is running out, and I got really angry 259 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 3: and I because I wasn't getting my way, and I 260 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 3: decided we were going to break up. And I decided 261 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 3: at that I was working at Cosmo, and so my 262 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 3: colleague had just frozen her eggs and had and had 263 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,760 Speaker 3: had a really good experience with doing it. It was 264 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 3: like her mother's birthday present to her at that time, 265 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 3: and so I thought, hmm, like this was a colleague 266 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 3: that I really liked and respected. So when she was 267 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 3: telling me about it, I felt like I was really 268 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 3: learning about it from someone who cared about me and 269 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:31,479 Speaker 3: what freedom it could give me to just have this experience. 270 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 3: And one of the things she said to me is 271 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 3: she was like, if you think about all of the 272 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 3: ways that we have like thrown away money over the 273 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 3: years on like shoes, coffee, taxis a million other like 274 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:48,240 Speaker 3: purchases that you have made like flippantly, and then put 275 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 3: all those purchases together, this one purchase might be more 276 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 3: meaningful than all of those items, Like all of those 277 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 3: lattes combined might actually be better served being put into 278 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 3: something like this. And so that was when I decided 279 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 3: that I was going to like take this step. I 280 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 3: used the same doctor that my friend had used. I 281 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 3: can't say that I had like the best, like actual 282 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 3: experience of going through the process, but the result was 283 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 3: that I, at thirty six, froze my eggs and I 284 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 3: did feel like I had purchased myself a like mini 285 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:36,400 Speaker 3: insurance policy in the event that the guy that I 286 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 3: was with would not be the person that I was 287 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 3: going to have a family with. 288 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, I'm going to unpack this a little bit. 289 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: The first thing I'm going to untack is, at that time, 290 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: did you go back and forth a lot about the 291 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 1: decision or did you know without a doubt, like this 292 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: is definitely what I should do right now. 293 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 3: I did not go back and forth about it again, 294 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 3: Like if I decide I'm going to do a thing 295 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 3: like that's just the thing, that's the thing. 296 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, Oh, I mean. 297 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 3: There is the hurdle of the expense because it's rare 298 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 3: that you know, like like it's just a different kind 299 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 3: of expense and you don't know where to file it 300 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 3: in your in your brain, there are categories of things 301 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 3: you spend money on, and it's a different sort of bucket. 302 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 3: So once I got over the fact that I was 303 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 3: going to spend this money and I spent my own 304 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 3: you know, dollars and pennies to do it, I was 305 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 3: all in and I didn't even research other doctors. Frankly, 306 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,080 Speaker 3: at the time, I was like, well, this is where 307 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 3: my friend went, so that's where I'm going. Period, end 308 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:40,520 Speaker 3: of story. 309 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, did you go through the process alone or did 310 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: you have friends that helped you with it or how 311 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: did you? 312 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 3: Well, my boyfriend at the time, who we had broken up, 313 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 3: but we were like maybe going to get back together, 314 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 3: he and I. He knew I was going to do 315 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 3: this thing, and I had sort of explained it like 316 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,840 Speaker 3: this is a thing that I want to do for myself. 317 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 2: I have made this choice. It's what I'm doing. 318 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 3: There's no like conversation to have about it, and so 319 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 3: he he supported me through, like you know, coming to 320 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,360 Speaker 3: my appointments to be of service to me. But at 321 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 3: the time we weren't like quote unquote a couple. I know, 322 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 3: that's weird. No, I mean those ambiguous relationships out there, 323 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:32,639 Speaker 3: it's hard to explain it. 324 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 1: In Cosmo last month that they called my situationships. 325 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,359 Speaker 2: It was a situationship exactly well played. 326 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,960 Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. I'm just trying to you know, 327 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,040 Speaker 1: weave it all together. Okay, So you had your situationship 328 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,200 Speaker 1: and you went through all the things that you had. 329 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 3: To go through, which is I mean, looking at where 330 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,120 Speaker 3: we are right now, it was not like this. 331 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: No, it was bright and very welcoming and wanted to comment. 332 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 2: It was one of those things. 333 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 3: But I also I really wanted the outcome, So at 334 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:09,360 Speaker 3: that time I didn't like think about what the I mean, 335 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 3: this is a beautiful environment, but at the time I 336 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 3: didn't think about like what the experience was like, mainly 337 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 3: because I'm like a great your teeth and like bar 338 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 3: it type of person. So I was like, whatever, let's 339 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 3: just get through this. 340 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 2: I mean, no matter. 341 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 3: How beautiful the space is, it is one month of 342 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 3: your life that is like, are you going to chalk 343 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,920 Speaker 3: it up to being like the most fun you ever had? 344 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 2: Probably not. 345 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 3: But at the same time, the result that you get 346 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 3: is something that is like, frankly, I can only speak 347 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,120 Speaker 3: from my own experience, it is like priceless. So it 348 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 3: was hundreds of times over worth an unpleasant one month experience. 349 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 1: Was it an emotional time for you? 350 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 3: It was an emotional time because I did spend some 351 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 3: of it wondering about, like, what have I done with 352 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,719 Speaker 3: my life? Did I waste so much time? 353 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 2: I think? 354 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 3: You know, like one of the things that my mother 355 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:12,640 Speaker 3: said to me, oh God, like is she had said 356 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:16,439 Speaker 3: to me at some point like I don't want you 357 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:21,360 Speaker 3: to not have the experience of being a parent, because 358 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 3: it's been so wonderful for me. She was speaking of herself, 359 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 3: and I realized at that time that it was something 360 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 3: that I really wanted as well, and I like had 361 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:37,679 Speaker 3: been so busy that I didn't like check into that feeling. 362 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,160 Speaker 1: I think that I'm doing that like constantly. Actually at 363 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 1: the moment, yeah, it's so. I mean, I'm thirty one 364 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: right now as we're recording this, and obviously this is 365 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,959 Speaker 1: like a high time for me and you and I 366 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,879 Speaker 1: had this conversation on the phone where I should be considering, 367 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 1: you know, going through the entire process that you went through. 368 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 1: And I think that a lot of women at my 369 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: age know the benefits of doing it right now, but 370 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,879 Speaker 1: you kind of battle with yourself a little bit and 371 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 1: that like maybe in a year, my life's gonna look 372 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 1: completely different, and maybe I don't need to do this 373 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,439 Speaker 1: right now, and tomorrow I can meet the man of 374 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,359 Speaker 1: my dreams and like, yeah, he's gonna wisk me to 375 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: Italy and we're gonna get married out a chateau or 376 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,879 Speaker 1: whenever you don't call them chateaus in Italy, but you 377 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like it will be perfect. Yeah, 378 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 1: So you struggle with this inner dialogue, and so when 379 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:27,199 Speaker 1: you're saying and you're getting emotional about like this idea 380 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,240 Speaker 1: that like maybe you didn't even realize like how much 381 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 1: parenting could mean to you. Like I totally relate with that, 382 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 1: because right now I'm like, yeah, I think I want 383 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 1: a kid, but like if I don't have a kid, 384 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,640 Speaker 1: then like maybe it's not in my cards. 385 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 3: Like yeah, I mean, and your way. For when I 386 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 3: was thirty one, I was like I do not want 387 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,199 Speaker 3: to be a parent. That's not for me. And so 388 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 3: it really was only it towards like my middle later 389 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 3: thirties that I was kind I realized that it was 390 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 3: an experience that I didn't want to go through life 391 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 3: without having. And ps, it's totally fine to not be 392 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 3: a parent, that's great too, I'm just saying for me, 393 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,360 Speaker 3: I realized that it was an experience I wanted to have, 394 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 3: and that's how I felt about it. I don't think 395 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 3: that there is a writer or wrong to it. It 396 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 3: was just the realization that I had. I had a 397 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 3: really interesting conversation with one of my younger colleagues at work, 398 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 3: who is also in her early thirties, and we were 399 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 3: talking about whether this was something she wanted to do, 400 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,439 Speaker 3: and I said to her, I was like, I know 401 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 3: that you don't think you're that type of person who 402 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 3: would freeze your eggs. She was like, yeah, I don't 403 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,199 Speaker 3: think I'm that type of person. And I was like, 404 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 3: everyone thinks they're not that type of person. Of course, 405 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 3: no one believes that this is like a thing that 406 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 3: you have to like insert into your schedule or daily calendar. 407 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 3: But at the same time, it doesn't necessarily it doesn't 408 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 3: make some grand statement about what your future holds. If 409 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 3: you take a step like this, it's like completely unrelated 410 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 3: to whether you're going to meet that guy and go 411 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaker 3: off to your villa. 412 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 2: It's just its own. 413 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:04,880 Speaker 1: The right terminology. 414 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 2: It's its own separate thing. 415 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear that. Okay, so you took the steps 416 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,600 Speaker 1: and you went through everything. Yeah, and what happens with 417 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 1: your situationship? 418 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 2: Oh, we're married, this is my husband. 419 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,439 Speaker 3: I think that one of the big realizations that I 420 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,879 Speaker 3: had in my uh later part of my thirties was 421 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 3: about finding, like really discovering what being a partner is, 422 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 3: and that just all the sort of rules that I 423 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 3: have applied to my career, which are just like you know, 424 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 3: like make a goal and like you know, guns blazing 425 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 3: until you get to it, that doesn't necessarily imply apply 426 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 3: to how marriages work. And being a good partner is 427 00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 3: not about making choices and not involving other people in them. 428 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 3: So ultimately what happened is I got married in twenty 429 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 3: and fifteen. I had had a miscarriage. We had gotten 430 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 3: pregnant naturally, and I had had a miscarriage, which is 431 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 3: definitely not something I would like wish upon anyone. It's 432 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:25,879 Speaker 3: not pleasant in the slightest And probably about six months 433 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 3: later we decided we were going to try to use 434 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,680 Speaker 3: my frozen eggs. And I think one of the interesting 435 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 3: things about egg freezing and embryo making is you really 436 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 3: become like a scientist of your own body. You learn 437 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,639 Speaker 3: so much about like what is this machine that you 438 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 3: are living with every single day that you know as 439 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 3: a person who might have just gotten pregnant and had kids. Naturally, like, 440 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,199 Speaker 3: it's amazing what your body does when it's you know, 441 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:05,239 Speaker 3: carrying an and making a baby. And of the I 442 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 3: got eighteen eggs when I was got my egg harvest 443 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 3: and that is the word just saying when they harvested 444 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,560 Speaker 3: my eggs. The first time, I got eighteen eggs, and 445 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 3: I have out of that eighteen, I have one baby. 446 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,400 Speaker 3: So you can see how like through the process of 447 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 3: where the eggs get frozen, when the embryos get made, 448 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 3: when the embryos get tested, there is like a dramatic 449 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 3: process where they get reduced down to the amount of 450 00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 3: viable embryos that you can actually use. So take that 451 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,400 Speaker 3: for what you will. Every single person is totally different 452 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,239 Speaker 3: and naturally, I was thirty six when I did this. 453 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 3: If I was twenty two and freezing my eggs, like, 454 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,919 Speaker 3: who knows, I would have like a you know, I 455 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 3: don't know, like a baseball team. 456 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 1: I was going to say, a small a small army. Yeah, 457 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: a small army. Okay, I wanna hurdlesone this. I've never 458 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 1: said that word before, but I'm going to like bring 459 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: this to that and talk about your decision to train 460 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,239 Speaker 1: and run the marathon. Yeah, So when was that in 461 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,680 Speaker 1: relation to like all of these amazing life things that 462 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 1: are happening for you. 463 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 3: I was married and I had just had I had 464 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,200 Speaker 3: had a miscarriage, which, if you have ever had one, 465 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 3: is a really dramatic life event because the like emotional 466 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,919 Speaker 3: and physical roller coaster, like is a combined like tsunami 467 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,879 Speaker 3: in your life of insanity. And I think at that 468 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:40,560 Speaker 3: time I just felt so out of control of my body, 469 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,119 Speaker 3: and as a person who is really in control of 470 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,199 Speaker 3: all aspects of my life, to feel that out of 471 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 3: control was just a crazy making situation. So at the 472 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 3: time I had the opportunity that just showed up in 473 00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:00,280 Speaker 3: my email inbox to run the New York Marathon, and 474 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 3: I was offered the opportunity in June, and the New 475 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 3: York Marathon is in November, and that is not enough 476 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 3: time for a first time marathon or to run It's 477 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 3: I did not recommend it to anyone because I was 478 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,879 Speaker 3: a non runner in June, and then I ran the 479 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 3: New York City Marathon not well and not fast in November. 480 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 3: But I trained throughout that time, so I took off 481 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 3: from thinking about fertility, thinking about being a mom, thinking 482 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,360 Speaker 3: about having a baby's and I was like, I am 483 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,440 Speaker 3: just going to take this chunk of months and train 484 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 3: for a marathon like it's my job, and not worry 485 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,360 Speaker 3: about anything else, because I needed to sort of cleanse 486 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,959 Speaker 3: my mind and my body of the experiences that I 487 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 3: had had and I just had to like hit like 488 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,640 Speaker 3: a literal reset button on how I was feeling. 489 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,000 Speaker 2: And so it's not. 490 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 3: Hard to imagine why a marathon could do that for you, 491 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:04,640 Speaker 3: because it is such a tremendous physical feat to do. 492 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,160 Speaker 3: I mean, Emily, who has done it like seven plus times, 493 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,719 Speaker 3: could probably do it in her sleep, but for the 494 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 3: rest of us, the single time marathon runners, and I 495 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,919 Speaker 3: am not doing that again. It was it felt like 496 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 3: I was, you know, like really summoning a mountain in 497 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 3: my life, and I needed an experience like that to 498 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 3: feel like I can do it. I can do something 499 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:34,280 Speaker 3: that I will myself to do. And that's why I 500 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,679 Speaker 3: trained for the New York City Marathon. And it was 501 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 3: a tremendous experience firstally, unbelievable, amazing. 502 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 1: I think that a lot of people in the room 503 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 1: and listening as well, can probably agree that leaning into 504 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 1: fitness and taking on a new goal and setting a 505 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,920 Speaker 1: new challenge for themselves is the perfect way to kind 506 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:02,400 Speaker 1: of organ when you feel like nothing is organized. I 507 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 1: know for myself, ever since going freelance or even other 508 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,679 Speaker 1: traumatic experiences like going through a hard breakup, the first 509 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,399 Speaker 1: thing I do is like, all right, what's next? Like, 510 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,120 Speaker 1: what can you take control of right now? How can 511 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,879 Speaker 1: you deal with this? What can you just like grab 512 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: the reins and be like, this is my thing that 513 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 1: I own and you don't get to decide how it 514 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: makes me feel. And I mean that's what running does 515 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: for me. And I'm sure during that time, like it 516 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: must have just been so like such a release and 517 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 1: although probably also a little frustrating if I think about. 518 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 3: It, Yeah, I mean I think that the difference between 519 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 3: marathon training and fertility is. 520 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 2: That there's a difference. 521 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 3: Is that marathon training, there is a strategy and a schedule, 522 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 3: and if you follow that strategy and schedule, you're going 523 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 3: to get a result that is crossing the finish line. 524 00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 3: Fertility is like, unfortunately not the same way. Every part 525 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 3: is very different, Every stage in your life is different, 526 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 3: and you can unfortunately go the entire distance of the 527 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 3: fertility race and not have a positive result. It is possible, 528 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:18,280 Speaker 3: and that outcome has happened for several women that I 529 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 3: know who've done nothing but put in their absolute hundred 530 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 3: percent best effort. So for me, running the marathon at 531 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 3: that time was a way to say, Okay, here is 532 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 3: the schedule for my next four months. I am going 533 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 3: to go to my And it was like I'm going 534 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 3: to go to my job and I'm going to train 535 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 3: for the marathon and that's all I'm going to do 536 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 3: with my life. And literally that's all I did, because 537 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 3: I was like, this is the schedule of how my 538 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,360 Speaker 3: time will be taken up, and that's what I'm doing. 539 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 1: I remember sitting down with you and telling you that 540 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 1: they made leggings that had like really great pockets and 541 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,600 Speaker 1: you were like, they make those, and I was like, yes, 542 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: it's the day for the marathon, if we please get 543 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,920 Speaker 1: you them like in six hours. And within like four seconds, 544 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 1: I had I on an email with like the woman 545 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 1: who rank Global for a Lula Young. I was like, 546 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 1: please get her some tights. This woman needs a place 547 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:08,920 Speaker 1: to put her cell phone. But she got them and 548 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 1: she ran it. I did it now she never do 549 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 1: it again. 550 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 2: Yes, it was. It was. 551 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 3: I mean, it doesn't take like a brain surgeon to 552 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 3: figure out that. Like it was a time in my 553 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,800 Speaker 3: life where I was going through a lot and I 554 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 3: was super grateful to have an experience like that that. 555 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 3: I mean, if you've ever run the New York City Marathon, 556 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 3: it is like a triumphant experience to like run across 557 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 3: the Verizonto Bridge, like it's magical, so really lucky. 558 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 2: Do you cry? 559 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:35,560 Speaker 1: Oh? 560 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was weeping. 561 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 1: I mean I weep every time I've done it. For 562 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: I've done it four Okay, So we ran the marathon. 563 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 1: And then you say to yourself and your situationship, who's 564 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 1: probably your Oh he's your husband, Yes, okay, you say 565 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,920 Speaker 1: to your husband after you've run the marathon that, okay, 566 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: maybe it's time that we use the eggs. 567 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, the whole timeline is like a little 568 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 3: bit foggy in my mind. Obviously it was after the marathon, 569 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 3: because I was not trying to use frozen embryos at 570 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 3: that time. But I ran the marathon in twenty sixteen 571 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 3: and I had my daughter in twenty eighteen, so it 572 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 3: was the year of twenty seventeen that we decided to 573 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 3: use them. And you know, when you get embryos made 574 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 3: and you get them genetically tested, what you get is 575 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,719 Speaker 3: and this is like way down the road of egg freezing, 576 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 3: so like don't worry about this part. But like, when 577 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 3: you get embryos made and get them genetically tested, what 578 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 3: you get is kind of like, for lack of a 579 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 3: better word, like a report card about the quality of 580 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 3: each of your embryos. And it's chromosomal information about every 581 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,479 Speaker 3: possible thing that they can learn based on the science 582 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 3: of your embryos. And of course chromosomal information includes the 583 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 3: gender of the embryos, so you can know how many boys, 584 00:31:54,800 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 3: how many girls, or and additional information about the possible. 585 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 2: Baby that you could have. 586 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 3: And so at that time, it was you know, uh, 587 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 3: came down to the two embryos that we had that 588 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 3: were viable to use, and they were what's called like 589 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 3: normal aka usable, and the first one that we transferred 590 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 3: didn't work. 591 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,240 Speaker 2: So imagine I've gone. 592 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 3: Through this whole process and then transferred the embryo and 593 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 3: it did not quote unquote implant is the word that 594 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 3: they use. And again, like I was like, how is 595 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 3: it possible that I've done all of this, years of 596 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:40,640 Speaker 3: this process and it didn't work. But that's the thing. 597 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 3: It's like, there's no there is no guarantees for any 598 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 3: of this. It's just part of a process that you 599 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,480 Speaker 3: have to be sort of willing through to step through 600 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:56,480 Speaker 3: the various steps and know that, like you know, you're 601 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 3: putting in, you know, your best effort and staying as 602 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 3: healthy as possible through through the process. I then used 603 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 3: the second embryo, which was and is now my baby. 604 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 1: Your baby, your miracle baby. 605 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 2: Yes. 606 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,800 Speaker 1: Where were you when you found out that you were 607 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 1: actually pregnant? 608 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 2: Brunch? 609 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:18,280 Speaker 1: Yeah? 610 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was at brunch with my husband and I 611 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 3: was so because I had had a non implanted experience 612 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 3: in the previous embryo transfer. I was so like I 613 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 3: had really prepared myself for it to not work, and 614 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 3: so when it did, I was just I was like speechless. 615 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 3: I couldn't believe it. I think that the way that 616 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 3: the way that it works, though, is that even when 617 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 3: you discover that the embryo transfer worked, you still have 618 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:57,400 Speaker 3: to wait several weeks for them. You don't walk around 619 00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:02,040 Speaker 3: being like, let's order the crib, like you're waiting several 620 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 3: weeks to be sure. So you're you're kind of like, frankly, 621 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 3: I was like walking on eggshells until I was like 622 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,560 Speaker 3: twenty weeks pregnant, very obviously having a baby like, but 623 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 3: I still was like, well, who knows anything could happen 624 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 3: because you're you're so used to being unsure. 625 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,320 Speaker 1: What would you say one of the greatest lessons you 626 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 1: learned during that time, specifically those twenty weeks, what was it? 627 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:33,880 Speaker 3: I I did not have the experience in my first 628 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:37,279 Speaker 3: trimester of like throwing up and being sick, Like I 629 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:38,719 Speaker 3: actually felt pretty good. 630 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 2: I liked being a pregnant person. 631 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,319 Speaker 3: I enjoyed the experience, which is a weird thing to say, 632 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:52,560 Speaker 3: but but I wish that I would have not felt 633 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:57,439 Speaker 3: so much fear because I look back on that time 634 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,359 Speaker 3: in my life and you know, I likely to only 635 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,359 Speaker 3: have one baby and aka only have been pregnant one 636 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 3: time through to the you know having of the kid, 637 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 3: and I wish I would have been able to like 638 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,279 Speaker 3: sort of enjoy the whole process a little bit more 639 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 3: and not be so like, you know, scared. 640 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:19,480 Speaker 1: I'm curious, what's your relationship like now with exercise, now 641 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:20,960 Speaker 1: that you're no more marathons? 642 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:22,279 Speaker 2: So what do you like to do? What do you 643 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:23,759 Speaker 2: like to do for me? 644 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:28,440 Speaker 3: I think that I am. I'm not trying to like 645 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 3: be the like superhero version of myself anymore. Like when 646 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,839 Speaker 3: you're a parent, there's there's like a series of like 647 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,600 Speaker 3: you know, fifteen to thirty minute portions of your life 648 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,600 Speaker 3: where you're like waiting for the baby to finish her 649 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 3: nap or like waiting for something to happen. So like 650 00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:53,040 Speaker 3: I would rather like do small workouts rather than be like, oh, 651 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,200 Speaker 3: I need to run eighteen miles, Like it's just for 652 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,759 Speaker 3: me at the moment. It's not going to fit into 653 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:03,719 Speaker 3: my current like agenda. So I would rather set myself 654 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:08,040 Speaker 3: smaller goals so that I stay active rather than trying 655 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,360 Speaker 3: to like summit Mount at first. 656 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, very few and far between are going to 657 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,960 Speaker 1: summit anyway. You know, it's funny. Before we started, I 658 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,840 Speaker 1: and I were chatting and she's like, so, what studios 659 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: do you like to go to? And I told her 660 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,480 Speaker 1: the name of one Lione's done in Chelsea or Tribecca. 661 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 1: She's like, well, where do you live? And I was like, 662 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,600 Speaker 1: on the Upper East Side. She's like, I was like, 663 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,000 Speaker 1: I clearly don't have a significant other or a baby 664 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,200 Speaker 1: to take care of, Like I have the time to 665 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,680 Speaker 1: commute or run commuter however I get there on any 666 00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 1: given day. But you know, it's a little different for everybody. 667 00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,360 Speaker 1: It's a little different for everybody. Okay, so life with 668 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,200 Speaker 1: a babe, Yeah, I. 669 00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:43,760 Speaker 3: Mean, I think being a parent and you know, working 670 00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:47,040 Speaker 3: in the media business, which has a lot of young 671 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:51,200 Speaker 3: women in it. And it so happens that my current 672 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:59,160 Speaker 3: company covers this embryo and egg making in our health insurance. 673 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,000 Speaker 3: I'm always saying to my colleagues at work. I'm like, 674 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 3: it's as if you are turning down free money, like 675 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,960 Speaker 3: like if this is covered by your company's insurance, Like 676 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 3: it's as if there was money on the table and 677 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,120 Speaker 3: you're like walking away being like, oh I don't want that, 678 00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:19,600 Speaker 3: Like it's to me, that's that's how that would that 679 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:24,800 Speaker 3: would be. I've really benefited from the fact that Hurst 680 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,600 Speaker 3: covers this service, and I've definitely evangelized it to my colleagues. 681 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:34,840 Speaker 3: But I think that even if you know you're choosing 682 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:40,080 Speaker 3: to make this financial commitment on your own, it really 683 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 3: is a question of, like, you know, what role do 684 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:48,640 Speaker 3: you see becoming a parent in your life and what 685 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:52,120 Speaker 3: is your timeline to get there, because for better or 686 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 3: for worse, like, no amount of feminism changes the fact 687 00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:03,480 Speaker 3: that there is a limited time to have healthy eggs. 688 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:08,880 Speaker 1: And does your company also cover the storage or no? Okay, 689 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:12,680 Speaker 1: I think and I just to be completely transparent, so 690 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:16,320 Speaker 1: I actually came to get like checked out here as well. 691 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 1: And I had never really even taken an interest in 692 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,560 Speaker 1: what was going on with my body. Definitely interested, but 693 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 1: not the steps to actually, you know, go through an ultrasound, 694 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: which is something that a lot of women don't even 695 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:33,000 Speaker 1: see unless you become pregnant. And so to see that 696 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,840 Speaker 1: and see like what's going on in my ovaries and 697 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:37,960 Speaker 1: to experience that it was very interesting. And then to 698 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,880 Speaker 1: find out again like the finances and then you obviously 699 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,440 Speaker 1: you have to pay a store. Then like, these are 700 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 1: things that unless you go through and experience like this, 701 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:50,200 Speaker 1: you might not really understand or even know, like what's normal, 702 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,920 Speaker 1: what's not normal, how much it costs, what's going on 703 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:53,799 Speaker 1: so well? 704 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:58,200 Speaker 3: And also because I had a girl, I often think 705 00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:02,640 Speaker 3: about what this world of fertility will be like when 706 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 3: she is in her twenties, and I, I mean, yeah, 707 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,840 Speaker 3: we'll have to check back when she enters that stage 708 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,359 Speaker 3: of her life, but I don't know what it will 709 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,919 Speaker 3: be like then. But I can only hope that young 710 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:24,120 Speaker 3: women will have the opportunity to do this, either you know, 711 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,680 Speaker 3: as part of their insurance or at a at a 712 00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:31,640 Speaker 3: low cost, because it just is something that I that 713 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,120 Speaker 3: I hope for my own kid and for everyone's daughters. 714 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 1: There are undeniably so many amazing parts of motherhood. Obviously, 715 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:43,920 Speaker 1: what would you say if you could even try to 716 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:48,800 Speaker 1: articulate one of the best parts of having your daughter 717 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,200 Speaker 1: has been for you so far? 718 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:55,880 Speaker 3: I have never been a person who I don't like babies, 719 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,680 Speaker 3: like I don't like I'm like not that into kids 720 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,040 Speaker 3: or like, which is frankly why I waited too long 721 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,319 Speaker 3: to have kids, Because I've never been someone who was 722 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:09,400 Speaker 3: like gushing over other people's babies. But the thing that 723 00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,279 Speaker 3: of the many things that I find magical about being 724 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:16,360 Speaker 3: a parent is watching someone experience the world for the 725 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:20,680 Speaker 3: first time, and like watching her have experiences, like even 726 00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 3: things like eating a lemon, you know, which was like 727 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:29,000 Speaker 3: very you know, amusing for all of us, how repulsive 728 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,680 Speaker 3: she found it. But I think that all of those things, 729 00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,120 Speaker 3: which of course happen every day when you have a 730 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,680 Speaker 3: one and a half year old baby, she's experiencing every 731 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,160 Speaker 3: part of the world for the first time, and that 732 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 3: is pretty awesome. 733 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:46,040 Speaker 1: Pretty awesome. I want to round this out to your career. Now, 734 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,799 Speaker 1: what is it like being a working mom for you? 735 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,600 Speaker 1: Is it something you always envisioned one hundred percent? There 736 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,240 Speaker 1: was no doubt you were going back to the office. 737 00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,920 Speaker 1: Did you debate not going back to the office. 738 00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:00,880 Speaker 2: No, I always knew that I would work. I have 739 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,360 Speaker 2: to say that I always knew that I. 740 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:06,919 Speaker 3: Would work, and I went back to work after three 741 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,959 Speaker 3: months of maternity leave, and yes, the first couple weeks 742 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,719 Speaker 3: were super hard, but for the most part, I was 743 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:18,759 Speaker 3: excited to have that balance. And I work in an 744 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:24,279 Speaker 3: environment with a lot of women and moms, So for me, 745 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:29,120 Speaker 3: it definitely has been a fairly smooth transition. People understand 746 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,640 Speaker 3: what you know, the requirements of parenting is like and 747 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:34,960 Speaker 3: frankly these days, like don't you feel like we all 748 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:36,920 Speaker 3: like work seven days a week, twenty four hours a 749 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,360 Speaker 3: day anyway, Like you're working from wherever you are, So 750 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:44,680 Speaker 3: I think that's pretty like normal for the life of 751 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,919 Speaker 3: young young people and young professionals, whether you're a parent 752 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:48,279 Speaker 3: or not. 753 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,719 Speaker 1: What would you say one of the best pieces of 754 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,960 Speaker 1: advice you've been offered is as a parent. 755 00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,919 Speaker 3: Oh, my mother once said to me, which is very 756 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,960 Speaker 3: funny because it's not bury her, but she was like, 757 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:05,120 Speaker 3: just go with the flow, because I am a person 758 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:09,080 Speaker 3: who will always like grind against whatever is happening. And 759 00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,480 Speaker 3: she was like, maybe you could just go at the flow. 760 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:13,880 Speaker 1: Go with the flow. And what about then in turn 761 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,400 Speaker 1: in business because again bringing this back to what we 762 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,000 Speaker 1: were talking about beginning of being at such a prestigious 763 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 1: point in your career with such an admirable title, I'm 764 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,719 Speaker 1: sure by now you've sat at a table with a 765 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,040 Speaker 1: lot of really awesome people. 766 00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:33,160 Speaker 3: So the only way to continue to grow your career 767 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:38,279 Speaker 3: is to continually take on new challenges no matter what 768 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:43,000 Speaker 3: the I know this sounds weird, but like whether you're 769 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:49,560 Speaker 3: getting a financial reward or not. I have wanted every 770 00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,880 Speaker 3: year of my career to be trying something and growing 771 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:58,120 Speaker 3: something new in my career and taking on new responsibilities 772 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:03,560 Speaker 3: regardless of whether I'm getting a raise, and weirdly, that 773 00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:05,960 Speaker 3: has been more rewarding. 774 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:08,880 Speaker 2: On all levels for me. 775 00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:13,279 Speaker 1: Totally. I love to close out the podcast this way. 776 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,440 Speaker 1: And you know, because you're a hurdler, you have the 777 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,840 Speaker 1: opportunity right now to give the Ayah a piece of advice. 778 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:23,440 Speaker 1: Who is going through her hurdle moment. She's frustrated with 779 00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:27,239 Speaker 1: her body, and she's training for the marathon and she's 780 00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,120 Speaker 1: going through it. You have an opportunity to offer her 781 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,680 Speaker 1: one piece of advice right now. What do you tell her? 782 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,360 Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's the advice that you gave the 783 00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:43,400 Speaker 3: other day, which was about it was about like using 784 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:49,040 Speaker 3: mantra to sort of take a hold of your thoughts. 785 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:53,920 Speaker 3: Because I think that in any kind of sort of 786 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,520 Speaker 3: crazy moment in your life where you feel like things 787 00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,680 Speaker 3: are out of control, whether it's you know, trying to 788 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:05,360 Speaker 3: get past your twenty fourth mile or any sort of 789 00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:09,760 Speaker 3: physical challenges, I think that having something that you're coming 790 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:13,640 Speaker 3: back to as you know, your center is really important, 791 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,360 Speaker 3: and you had said that on one of your podcasts 792 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 3: and I was like, Oh, I should have done. 793 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,800 Speaker 1: That, I should have done that. Oh the wisdom, it's abundant. 794 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:22,680 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for sitting down with me, Iya. I 795 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:23,680 Speaker 1: really appreci having me