1 00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:24,556 Speaker 1: Pushkin. If there's one thing most people don't know about me, 2 00:00:24,796 --> 00:00:28,356 Speaker 1: it's that I'm an Olympics obsessive. I just love the 3 00:00:28,476 --> 00:00:31,476 Speaker 1: agony and ecstasy and all the drama that comes with 4 00:00:31,516 --> 00:00:35,996 Speaker 1: the world's biggest sporting event. Yes, the Olympics are problematic 5 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:40,076 Speaker 1: in lots of ways, but I'm here for the athlete stories, 6 00:00:40,556 --> 00:00:44,436 Speaker 1: from the anonymous triple jumpers high stepping to glory to 7 00:00:44,556 --> 00:00:48,796 Speaker 1: the megawatt figure skidding stars taking colossal diggers on the ice. 8 00:00:49,796 --> 00:00:53,156 Speaker 1: My Olympics obsession was how I found out about Chelsea Wolf. 9 00:00:53,916 --> 00:00:57,876 Speaker 1: Chelsea is a professional BMX freestyle writer who is an 10 00:00:57,956 --> 00:01:01,956 Speaker 1: alternate to represent Team USA at the Tokyo twenty twenty 11 00:01:02,036 --> 00:01:07,076 Speaker 1: Summer Games. She is also trans and autistic, a very 12 00:01:07,196 --> 00:01:11,036 Speaker 1: unique combination in the bro heavy world of action sports. 13 00:01:11,596 --> 00:01:14,276 Speaker 1: And after I watched a bunch of videos of her 14 00:01:14,476 --> 00:01:19,676 Speaker 1: flipping and spinning and just generally shredding while in short shorts, 15 00:01:20,316 --> 00:01:28,516 Speaker 1: I knew I had to chat with her. Give me 16 00:01:28,596 --> 00:01:32,156 Speaker 1: a brief bio, like give me the Nickel tour of 17 00:01:32,276 --> 00:01:36,436 Speaker 1: Chelsea Wolf, Like have you always been a BMX racer? 18 00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:41,676 Speaker 1: And you know and freestylists, Like where'd you get your start? Yeah? 19 00:01:41,676 --> 00:01:45,156 Speaker 1: Pretty much my entire life, I've been on bikes. I 20 00:01:45,196 --> 00:01:47,876 Speaker 1: want to say that I probably learned riding a bike 21 00:01:47,956 --> 00:01:50,116 Speaker 1: on just like the street when I was around three 22 00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:54,636 Speaker 1: or four something like that. And then when I was six, 23 00:01:54,836 --> 00:01:58,516 Speaker 1: just before my seventh birthday, my family got into BMX 24 00:01:58,636 --> 00:02:02,236 Speaker 1: racing and I did that for most of my life 25 00:02:02,316 --> 00:02:04,676 Speaker 1: up until I think I was about twenty one when 26 00:02:04,716 --> 00:02:07,636 Speaker 1: I kind of started to burn out of racing just 27 00:02:07,796 --> 00:02:10,676 Speaker 1: a little bit. But I had started with BMX Freestyle 28 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:13,276 Speaker 1: when I was fifteen, and then that was a big 29 00:02:13,316 --> 00:02:15,596 Speaker 1: part of why I kind of got tired of racing, 30 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,156 Speaker 1: as I was just having so much more fun with freestyle, 31 00:02:18,716 --> 00:02:24,076 Speaker 1: and I've been doing freestyle consistently since then. Pretty much 32 00:02:24,156 --> 00:02:28,116 Speaker 1: my entire life has been on bikes and competing in 33 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,836 Speaker 1: one way or another, whether it was BMX racing, mountain 34 00:02:30,836 --> 00:02:35,076 Speaker 1: bike racing, fixed gears, or BMX free style. That's kind 35 00:02:35,076 --> 00:02:38,116 Speaker 1: of like a big constant that has been there for me. 36 00:02:38,836 --> 00:02:42,636 Speaker 1: Where did you grow up South Florida in the West 37 00:02:42,636 --> 00:02:44,996 Speaker 1: bomb Beach area. So my local race track that I 38 00:02:44,996 --> 00:02:47,636 Speaker 1: would go to is called Oak Hilly Dmax is still 39 00:02:47,676 --> 00:02:50,636 Speaker 1: a great track to this day. But yeah, most of 40 00:02:50,676 --> 00:02:55,876 Speaker 1: my childhood was spent there probably, so tell me, like, like, 41 00:02:55,916 --> 00:03:00,716 Speaker 1: what was little Chelsea like as a kid. So, I've 42 00:03:00,756 --> 00:03:05,756 Speaker 1: always been involved in sports, and I mean my mom 43 00:03:05,796 --> 00:03:08,556 Speaker 1: told me that I was like fairly competitive, but I 44 00:03:08,596 --> 00:03:14,356 Speaker 1: think I more really enjoyed participating in things and trying 45 00:03:14,396 --> 00:03:17,756 Speaker 1: to do the best that I could do. Always been 46 00:03:18,836 --> 00:03:22,876 Speaker 1: quite the outcast and the weirdo. And that's one thing 47 00:03:22,996 --> 00:03:26,956 Speaker 1: that's a constant that really helped me feel like, Okay, yes, 48 00:03:27,036 --> 00:03:29,996 Speaker 1: I'm definitely autistic. It's just like all the way back 49 00:03:29,996 --> 00:03:32,076 Speaker 1: to when I was just a little kid. My earliest 50 00:03:32,116 --> 00:03:35,916 Speaker 1: memory is just feeling kind of different than the other 51 00:03:35,996 --> 00:03:38,196 Speaker 1: kids and being kind of like the weird one in 52 00:03:38,196 --> 00:03:41,636 Speaker 1: the group if I did have a friends group, So 53 00:03:41,676 --> 00:03:44,396 Speaker 1: I wouldn't say a ton has changed really and still 54 00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:50,556 Speaker 1: a weirdo and I still ride bikes. What is it 55 00:03:50,596 --> 00:03:55,196 Speaker 1: about bikes for you that is like that is like 56 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:58,716 Speaker 1: your love and your passion. I don't even know. It's like, 57 00:03:58,796 --> 00:04:01,116 Speaker 1: I mean, with starting at such a young age, it's 58 00:04:01,156 --> 00:04:03,436 Speaker 1: like that consistency of it's the same thing I've been 59 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,196 Speaker 1: doing my whole life is like so comforting and nice, 60 00:04:06,596 --> 00:04:10,596 Speaker 1: but also there's something so fascinating and beautiful about the 61 00:04:10,676 --> 00:04:16,116 Speaker 1: bicycle and how it's just a simple but also complex 62 00:04:16,236 --> 00:04:19,636 Speaker 1: piece of machinery that can be fine tuned to just 63 00:04:19,836 --> 00:04:25,436 Speaker 1: create beautiful music of riding basically, and just the different 64 00:04:25,476 --> 00:04:29,756 Speaker 1: styles of bikes and construction. They're just they're very fascinating. 65 00:04:30,356 --> 00:04:35,156 Speaker 1: And yeah, probably one of my longtime special interests is 66 00:04:35,196 --> 00:04:38,036 Speaker 1: just bikes and bike knowledge. I worked as a mechanic 67 00:04:38,116 --> 00:04:41,716 Speaker 1: for like nine years, and there's just so many things 68 00:04:41,756 --> 00:04:44,996 Speaker 1: to learn about such a simple thing. But then socially 69 00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:48,716 Speaker 1: as well, like the freedom that bicycles provide of just 70 00:04:48,876 --> 00:04:53,956 Speaker 1: freedom of motion and their involvement in various liberation movements 71 00:04:53,996 --> 00:04:58,116 Speaker 1: throughout history. Bicycles are a very special thing to me. 72 00:04:59,396 --> 00:05:01,676 Speaker 1: I feel you like I'm smiling the whole way through 73 00:05:01,716 --> 00:05:05,196 Speaker 1: as you're talking, because I feel the same way. I mean, 74 00:05:05,796 --> 00:05:08,396 Speaker 1: you know, I was never indoors as a kid. I 75 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:13,076 Speaker 1: was always out riding my bike. I remember, like, I 76 00:05:13,076 --> 00:05:18,316 Speaker 1: wouldn't ride a girl's bike. I insisted that my parents 77 00:05:18,396 --> 00:05:21,076 Speaker 1: get me a BMX bike. Like, do not get me wrong, 78 00:05:21,116 --> 00:05:24,556 Speaker 1: I was not like riding BMX, but that's what I wanted, 79 00:05:24,636 --> 00:05:27,236 Speaker 1: Like that's what the boys had, and so that's the 80 00:05:27,316 --> 00:05:31,156 Speaker 1: bike that I wanted. But then at a silent auction 81 00:05:31,436 --> 00:05:35,636 Speaker 1: at my elementary school, I won a Horror BMX bike. 82 00:05:35,716 --> 00:05:39,756 Speaker 1: It was like the top prize and it was incredible. 83 00:05:39,796 --> 00:05:42,196 Speaker 1: It was so much fun. I loved it, and I 84 00:05:42,316 --> 00:05:45,596 Speaker 1: love the idea still that like I can't fix my car, 85 00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:48,636 Speaker 1: but I can fix my bike, you know. Speaking of 86 00:05:48,636 --> 00:05:52,796 Speaker 1: getting into bikes and childhood, though, my story with first 87 00:05:52,796 --> 00:05:57,676 Speaker 1: getting into riding bikes is when I was first learning 88 00:05:57,716 --> 00:06:00,436 Speaker 1: how to ride, I was obviously on training wheels and 89 00:06:01,196 --> 00:06:03,836 Speaker 1: my mom was walking behind me and holding the seat 90 00:06:03,916 --> 00:06:06,716 Speaker 1: as I peddled. One time, I get to the end 91 00:06:06,836 --> 00:06:09,636 Speaker 1: of the street and thinking that she was right there 92 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,476 Speaker 1: holding the seat the whole time, and she had let 93 00:06:11,476 --> 00:06:13,476 Speaker 1: go and she was back at the starting point. So 94 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,756 Speaker 1: I had just learned to ride a bicycle and I 95 00:06:15,796 --> 00:06:18,876 Speaker 1: didn't even know it. So then the next day I 96 00:06:18,956 --> 00:06:22,516 Speaker 1: was so excited that I got to go ride my 97 00:06:22,636 --> 00:06:25,396 Speaker 1: two wheel or bicycle without training wheels with all the 98 00:06:25,436 --> 00:06:28,236 Speaker 1: big kids. So I'm riding up and down the sidewalk 99 00:06:28,276 --> 00:06:32,476 Speaker 1: in front of my house and at one point I 100 00:06:32,516 --> 00:06:36,156 Speaker 1: got squirrely, just kind of lost control, tried to sieve it, 101 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,316 Speaker 1: ended up chasing it off the side of the sidewalk 102 00:06:38,396 --> 00:06:42,636 Speaker 1: and crashed into the rear quarter panel of my parents' Jeep. 103 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,756 Speaker 1: At the time, it was a pretty new Jeep too, 104 00:06:44,796 --> 00:06:46,436 Speaker 1: so it was like one of the first scratches that 105 00:06:46,516 --> 00:06:52,316 Speaker 1: I put on it. And fast forward to today that 106 00:06:52,476 --> 00:06:55,996 Speaker 1: is the Jeep that I still drive as my daily driver, 107 00:06:56,236 --> 00:06:59,676 Speaker 1: and that scratch is still there. I had a Jeep, 108 00:06:59,876 --> 00:07:03,116 Speaker 1: is a Wrangler? It is? Yeah, I had a Wrangler. Also, 109 00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:06,836 Speaker 1: I was my first car that was not like my 110 00:07:06,916 --> 00:07:10,796 Speaker 1: parents piece of shit car, extra car, you know. Um 111 00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:15,276 Speaker 1: And if that, if that wasn't an indication that I 112 00:07:15,356 --> 00:07:19,796 Speaker 1: was gay, I don't know what was. Um. By riding 113 00:07:19,796 --> 00:07:23,916 Speaker 1: with some friends recently and between the three of us, 114 00:07:23,996 --> 00:07:26,796 Speaker 1: one of them was driving a Subaru hatch Back, the 115 00:07:26,836 --> 00:07:29,756 Speaker 1: other one was driving a Volkswagen Golf, and then I 116 00:07:29,796 --> 00:07:31,956 Speaker 1: was driving a Jeep Wrangler, I'm like, well, we sure 117 00:07:31,996 --> 00:07:37,956 Speaker 1: are a crew homos, aren't we. Amazingly? Amazingly, Chelsea, I 118 00:07:37,996 --> 00:07:42,156 Speaker 1: have had all of those cars. You're just not even 119 00:07:42,236 --> 00:07:45,636 Speaker 1: getting the essential gay car, Like you have to drive 120 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:49,076 Speaker 1: one of those three, It's true, And I didn't even try. 121 00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:52,756 Speaker 1: I I'd like, I'd drive a Subaru impressive right now 122 00:07:52,836 --> 00:07:55,076 Speaker 1: with a hatchback. Yeah, Like you don't even set out 123 00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:57,596 Speaker 1: to do it. It's like the gay life chooses you. True, 124 00:07:57,876 --> 00:08:02,396 Speaker 1: It's true, It's true. Um So, so you mentioned, you know, 125 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:06,316 Speaker 1: feeling like sort of an outcast and a weirdo, and 126 00:08:06,356 --> 00:08:09,276 Speaker 1: I wonder like what school was like for you know, 127 00:08:09,316 --> 00:08:12,276 Speaker 1: when you were a kid. Yeah, pretty much just that, 128 00:08:12,516 --> 00:08:15,676 Speaker 1: always like trying to fit in but feeling like there 129 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,076 Speaker 1: was some kind of disconnect in not being able to 130 00:08:18,196 --> 00:08:23,236 Speaker 1: understand or explain why in conversation, I never knew the 131 00:08:23,316 --> 00:08:25,756 Speaker 1: right thing to say. I would try to contribute and 132 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:30,276 Speaker 1: say something and everyone would be like, that's weird. And 133 00:08:30,316 --> 00:08:33,636 Speaker 1: that kind of still is the case in you know, 134 00:08:33,996 --> 00:08:38,836 Speaker 1: certain pockets of interacting with people to this day. Is 135 00:08:38,916 --> 00:08:43,356 Speaker 1: just always having that kind of like lack of connection 136 00:08:43,476 --> 00:08:46,516 Speaker 1: there that you know, it's you can't even put your 137 00:08:46,516 --> 00:08:50,036 Speaker 1: finger on exactly what it is like why you feel it, 138 00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:53,996 Speaker 1: but it's there for sure. Did that change when you 139 00:08:54,276 --> 00:08:57,636 Speaker 1: entered the bike sphere? Like did it change when you 140 00:08:57,796 --> 00:09:00,436 Speaker 1: went to the park. Did it change when you started 141 00:09:00,596 --> 00:09:05,916 Speaker 1: doing races? Like did you find community there? No, it 142 00:09:05,996 --> 00:09:07,956 Speaker 1: was kind of the same thing. I had some great 143 00:09:07,956 --> 00:09:10,996 Speaker 1: friends with riding bikes at all, but it was the 144 00:09:11,036 --> 00:09:14,556 Speaker 1: exact same dislike spelt like, there was this disconnect and 145 00:09:14,956 --> 00:09:19,436 Speaker 1: even though we shared the passion for BMX racing, I 146 00:09:19,556 --> 00:09:21,436 Speaker 1: was still kind of the oddball of the bunch that 147 00:09:21,516 --> 00:09:25,636 Speaker 1: was very strange outside of our shared passion for bikes. Right, 148 00:09:26,276 --> 00:09:28,436 Speaker 1: is there a way that you can break down like 149 00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:31,236 Speaker 1: how much of this sort of not fitting in was 150 00:09:31,316 --> 00:09:35,556 Speaker 1: like gender stuff and how much of it was like neurodivergence, 151 00:09:35,636 --> 00:09:37,716 Speaker 1: like or was it all just like in one big 152 00:09:37,796 --> 00:09:40,596 Speaker 1: supie pile? And then that's the thing is like it 153 00:09:40,676 --> 00:09:43,356 Speaker 1: all kind of is just one big stupie pile because 154 00:09:43,396 --> 00:09:46,276 Speaker 1: all of those elements are what make us who we are. 155 00:09:46,756 --> 00:09:49,156 Speaker 1: And it's like, well, who's to say that the reason 156 00:09:49,196 --> 00:09:51,476 Speaker 1: I didn't feel a connection with one person is for 157 00:09:51,516 --> 00:09:54,276 Speaker 1: this reason or that reason when there's like so many 158 00:09:54,316 --> 00:09:58,716 Speaker 1: different aspects about me that make me kind of an oddball? Right? Right? Right? 159 00:09:59,636 --> 00:10:04,796 Speaker 1: Did you get a formal diagnosis autism diagnosis or did 160 00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:10,036 Speaker 1: you sort of self identify self diagnos and whichever one, 161 00:10:10,196 --> 00:10:13,876 Speaker 1: when did that happen for you? I kind of always 162 00:10:13,956 --> 00:10:18,676 Speaker 1: knew there was something. My older brother was diagnosed as 163 00:10:18,716 --> 00:10:22,356 Speaker 1: autistic at a very young age. Very typical. You know, 164 00:10:22,396 --> 00:10:26,636 Speaker 1: the boy gets diagnosed and the girl is ignored. So 165 00:10:26,716 --> 00:10:29,756 Speaker 1: it wasn't until a couple of years ago actually that, 166 00:10:30,356 --> 00:10:32,556 Speaker 1: like you said, when the pandemic started, all of those 167 00:10:32,596 --> 00:10:34,996 Speaker 1: supports kind of fell apart and I had to start 168 00:10:35,036 --> 00:10:39,476 Speaker 1: spending time with myself that I started to really have 169 00:10:39,596 --> 00:10:42,636 Speaker 1: to figure out, like what is it that makes me tick? 170 00:10:42,716 --> 00:10:46,276 Speaker 1: How do I learn how to function again without the 171 00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:49,956 Speaker 1: supports that I used to have. So it was during 172 00:10:50,236 --> 00:10:53,356 Speaker 1: the year of twenty twenty. I can't remember exactly when 173 00:10:53,476 --> 00:10:56,076 Speaker 1: in that year, but that was when I sought out 174 00:10:56,116 --> 00:11:00,196 Speaker 1: and bought a diagnosis for being autistic. But I went 175 00:11:00,276 --> 00:11:03,076 Speaker 1: my entire life just thinking that there was something wrong 176 00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:08,156 Speaker 1: with me, rather than realizing like, oh, this, this particular 177 00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:11,356 Speaker 1: thing about me is because of the autism. Like I 178 00:11:11,436 --> 00:11:15,796 Speaker 1: just thought it was like a character flaw. That's interesting 179 00:11:16,156 --> 00:11:19,716 Speaker 1: that you had a sibling who was on the spectrum 180 00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:24,996 Speaker 1: and was diagnosed, And I mean, were there similarities between 181 00:11:24,996 --> 00:11:27,716 Speaker 1: you where you were like, oh, he has that. I'm 182 00:11:27,756 --> 00:11:31,116 Speaker 1: a little bit like that. Absolutely, And that's the thing 183 00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:33,796 Speaker 1: that blows my mind that I don't understand how I 184 00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:37,916 Speaker 1: wasn't diagnosed sooner. Is like almost all of the things 185 00:11:37,996 --> 00:11:41,756 Speaker 1: that got him his diagnosis, like the various traits that 186 00:11:41,796 --> 00:11:44,956 Speaker 1: were noticed and picked up on by the adults. I 187 00:11:45,076 --> 00:11:47,516 Speaker 1: had the same thing, but instead of being like, oh, wow, 188 00:11:47,556 --> 00:11:49,596 Speaker 1: like you might be autistic too, let's take you to 189 00:11:49,636 --> 00:11:52,476 Speaker 1: a professional and figure this out, it was like why 190 00:11:52,476 --> 00:11:53,996 Speaker 1: are you doing that thing? And I would get in 191 00:11:53,996 --> 00:11:58,076 Speaker 1: trouble for it and be criticized. It's like what And 192 00:11:58,156 --> 00:12:01,156 Speaker 1: it's really funny too, with like, my experience is very 193 00:12:01,196 --> 00:12:07,076 Speaker 1: similar to other transformed people's experiences. At the time, my 194 00:12:07,116 --> 00:12:10,116 Speaker 1: parents wouldn't have had any reason to suspect that I 195 00:12:10,156 --> 00:12:12,716 Speaker 1: wasn't a boy just like my older brother. And yet 196 00:12:12,756 --> 00:12:16,916 Speaker 1: my experiences even in that time is more closely aligned 197 00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:21,596 Speaker 1: with experiences of them people and women who are autistic 198 00:12:21,916 --> 00:12:26,196 Speaker 1: being overlooked and having our needs neglected because the way 199 00:12:26,236 --> 00:12:30,196 Speaker 1: that they are perceived. But did people think like, oh, 200 00:12:30,276 --> 00:12:34,076 Speaker 1: Chelsea's just like copying. Yes, I think that was probably 201 00:12:34,116 --> 00:12:36,796 Speaker 1: a big part of it is they just figure like, Okay, 202 00:12:36,796 --> 00:12:39,476 Speaker 1: she just wants to be like her big brother, rather 203 00:12:39,596 --> 00:12:43,076 Speaker 1: than like, we just had very similar traits because we 204 00:12:43,076 --> 00:12:46,876 Speaker 1: were both autistic and yeah, just a lot of those things. 205 00:12:46,916 --> 00:12:49,596 Speaker 1: Like my older brother, one of the things that got 206 00:12:49,676 --> 00:12:52,596 Speaker 1: him some extra care and attention was that when he 207 00:12:52,676 --> 00:12:56,116 Speaker 1: was stressed, he would pull his hair out and meanwhile, 208 00:12:56,196 --> 00:13:00,276 Speaker 1: I got in trouble for fidgeting with my hair. And 209 00:13:01,316 --> 00:13:03,956 Speaker 1: one of the ways I tried to mask this and 210 00:13:04,236 --> 00:13:06,956 Speaker 1: treat it myself since the adults in my life weren't 211 00:13:06,996 --> 00:13:10,716 Speaker 1: going to is I would wear beanies all day every day. 212 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,876 Speaker 1: And as you can see, I still do that because 213 00:13:12,916 --> 00:13:15,956 Speaker 1: hair touching my face, I will rip it out. But 214 00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:18,676 Speaker 1: when I did those things, I got in trouble for it. 215 00:13:18,956 --> 00:13:21,676 Speaker 1: When Wilder brother did those things, he got taken to 216 00:13:21,836 --> 00:13:25,156 Speaker 1: a psychiatrist see what was causing it. And I don't 217 00:13:25,236 --> 00:13:30,076 Speaker 1: understand why, like that treatment was so different. And it's 218 00:13:30,116 --> 00:13:33,916 Speaker 1: funny too, because within gender discourse, people say like, oh, 219 00:13:33,956 --> 00:13:36,596 Speaker 1: if you're trands like you're socialized as your gender that 220 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,636 Speaker 1: you're assigned at birth, It's like not quite, Like it's 221 00:13:39,636 --> 00:13:42,556 Speaker 1: a lot more complicated than that, because the socialization that 222 00:13:42,636 --> 00:13:46,836 Speaker 1: happens to you, not only will you internalize it differently 223 00:13:46,876 --> 00:13:49,476 Speaker 1: depending on who you are and what you are on 224 00:13:49,476 --> 00:13:54,756 Speaker 1: the inside, but people will treat you differently even if 225 00:13:54,796 --> 00:13:59,836 Speaker 1: they don't know that you're a girl, for example. So 226 00:14:00,156 --> 00:14:04,196 Speaker 1: basically Chelsea was already being treated like the girl she 227 00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:08,036 Speaker 1: would become or that she was inside when it came 228 00:14:08,076 --> 00:14:12,676 Speaker 1: to her autism, which is wild to think about. Jenner 229 00:14:12,796 --> 00:14:17,276 Speaker 1: is weird, y'all. Chelsea didn't get diagnosed with autism until 230 00:14:17,396 --> 00:14:22,116 Speaker 1: twenty twenty, like me. Also, like me, Chelsea's an athlete. 231 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:25,596 Speaker 1: We're basically twins. Just kidding. I'm not an athlete anymore, 232 00:14:25,756 --> 00:14:31,116 Speaker 1: though I do have aging athlete body. So you and 233 00:14:31,196 --> 00:14:34,796 Speaker 1: I got to diagnosis around about the same time, and 234 00:14:34,876 --> 00:14:37,516 Speaker 1: it seems like that's really common too, with the pandemic 235 00:14:37,556 --> 00:14:39,796 Speaker 1: going on. Sorry to cut you off. There's like people 236 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,956 Speaker 1: who were coming into such an awareness of themselves with 237 00:14:43,076 --> 00:14:47,636 Speaker 1: being diagnosed with like Nerdi virgent traits or coming out 238 00:14:47,716 --> 00:14:52,636 Speaker 1: as trans or queer, just changing their presentation. Like it 239 00:14:52,716 --> 00:14:57,476 Speaker 1: was really such a good break for everyone to kind 240 00:14:57,476 --> 00:15:00,276 Speaker 1: of get get to know themselves better. How is your 241 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,556 Speaker 1: process of getting diagnosed? Was it challenging or was it? 242 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:06,876 Speaker 1: Was it easy for you? Yeah, it was pretty tricky. 243 00:15:07,476 --> 00:15:11,236 Speaker 1: I had been asking my therapists for quite a while 244 00:15:11,396 --> 00:15:14,556 Speaker 1: to refer me to someone to be diagnosed or just 245 00:15:14,996 --> 00:15:18,916 Speaker 1: screened for autism, and it took a long time to 246 00:15:19,316 --> 00:15:24,196 Speaker 1: finally start to figure out like what medical professional would 247 00:15:24,276 --> 00:15:28,316 Speaker 1: even make that assessment, who to make an appointment with, 248 00:15:28,556 --> 00:15:31,716 Speaker 1: and then actually getting that appointment and being taken seriously. 249 00:15:32,276 --> 00:15:34,436 Speaker 1: Once I finally got the appointment, it was kind of 250 00:15:34,556 --> 00:15:37,316 Speaker 1: they asked me a bunch of questions, had me do 251 00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:40,396 Speaker 1: a bunch of mental exercises, and I'm assuming, watched how 252 00:15:40,436 --> 00:15:43,516 Speaker 1: I completed those things, and then at the end they 253 00:15:43,516 --> 00:15:46,636 Speaker 1: were like, congratulations, you have the autisms. And I was like, 254 00:15:46,676 --> 00:15:49,636 Speaker 1: oh cool, I knew that already. It's just but thank 255 00:15:49,676 --> 00:15:52,356 Speaker 1: you for validating this. So if I ever need accommodations 256 00:15:52,396 --> 00:15:56,276 Speaker 1: and supports, and you know, there's the issue of places 257 00:15:56,316 --> 00:16:00,076 Speaker 1: that require a professional diagnosis for these things to access 258 00:16:00,156 --> 00:16:03,516 Speaker 1: our support needs, I have that paperwork to be like, look, 259 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:08,236 Speaker 1: I am official. The doctors said that I am officially autistic, 260 00:16:08,356 --> 00:16:11,476 Speaker 1: like it's unless. It reminds me a lot of like 261 00:16:11,516 --> 00:16:14,716 Speaker 1: the way that people treat being trans as like oh, 262 00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,556 Speaker 1: you have to be like diagnosed with gender identity disorder 263 00:16:17,636 --> 00:16:19,876 Speaker 1: or dysphoria or something like that, Like it's it's up 264 00:16:19,956 --> 00:16:24,116 Speaker 1: to a doctor usually assist doctor to say like, yep, 265 00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:26,996 Speaker 1: you have the trans like no, like your trans and 266 00:16:27,036 --> 00:16:31,396 Speaker 1: then like a doctor confirming that or not, Like it's 267 00:16:31,076 --> 00:16:34,436 Speaker 1: the same thing with autism is like you're autistic whether 268 00:16:34,556 --> 00:16:37,876 Speaker 1: or not the doctor says you are like even though 269 00:16:37,916 --> 00:16:39,956 Speaker 1: you knew it, though you still felt the need to 270 00:16:40,036 --> 00:16:42,516 Speaker 1: get a diagnosis, Like you still felt the need to 271 00:16:42,516 --> 00:16:44,516 Speaker 1: get the word, get the official word, get a piece 272 00:16:44,516 --> 00:16:47,916 Speaker 1: of paper, Like if you were very clear on who 273 00:16:47,956 --> 00:16:50,636 Speaker 1: you were, why did you need that? I mean a 274 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:54,676 Speaker 1: big part of it was just finding like the ability 275 00:16:54,716 --> 00:16:59,316 Speaker 1: to access support needs when a professional diagnosis is required 276 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:03,476 Speaker 1: if somebody does try to deny the legitimacy of my 277 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,876 Speaker 1: claims that I'm autistic, as if a doctor could you 278 00:17:05,876 --> 00:17:09,876 Speaker 1: know no better than I would. But the other thing 279 00:17:09,956 --> 00:17:12,596 Speaker 1: is kind of just like the validation of like you know, 280 00:17:12,996 --> 00:17:15,316 Speaker 1: there's obviously that self doubt there. It's like what if 281 00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:18,076 Speaker 1: I'm just making this all up? Like what if you know, 282 00:17:18,156 --> 00:17:22,436 Speaker 1: just being gasolate my entire life for being autistic and 283 00:17:22,516 --> 00:17:25,076 Speaker 1: just being you know, treated like that it was something 284 00:17:25,116 --> 00:17:28,276 Speaker 1: I was doing wrong rather than that I was actually autistic. 285 00:17:28,716 --> 00:17:32,476 Speaker 1: Kind of like led me to like low key believe like, Okay, 286 00:17:32,476 --> 00:17:37,196 Speaker 1: maybe it's it is. Maybe maybe I'm the drama right right? 287 00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:39,356 Speaker 1: I feel you? I mean, that was what you know, 288 00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:45,196 Speaker 1: Like I I think that in the absence of appropriate 289 00:17:45,956 --> 00:17:53,556 Speaker 1: and accessible mental healthcare, a self diagnosis, a self identification 290 00:17:54,196 --> 00:17:59,196 Speaker 1: seems totally reasonable and valid, but for me, and probably 291 00:17:59,236 --> 00:18:02,796 Speaker 1: because I'm older, I felt like this is not like 292 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,676 Speaker 1: it's it's not really going to work for me because 293 00:18:05,796 --> 00:18:09,556 Speaker 1: I would always be left with questions. And even after 294 00:18:09,596 --> 00:18:13,636 Speaker 1: I got the diagnosis, I still had like I still 295 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,676 Speaker 1: felt like like I had fraud syndrome, you know what 296 00:18:16,716 --> 00:18:20,836 Speaker 1: I mean. Yeah, Like I still felt like, uh, I'm 297 00:18:20,876 --> 00:18:24,156 Speaker 1: just just get over it, like you're fine, like you're not, 298 00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:28,356 Speaker 1: you know. And I hated feeling like that because you know, 299 00:18:28,396 --> 00:18:33,076 Speaker 1: if somebody diagnosed you with like with something else, I mean, 300 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,996 Speaker 1: you wouldn't be like, oh but I might be faking 301 00:18:36,036 --> 00:18:38,476 Speaker 1: it even though they said I wasn't, you know. I 302 00:18:38,516 --> 00:18:41,796 Speaker 1: think we possibly get hit with that extra hard to 303 00:18:42,156 --> 00:18:46,076 Speaker 1: being late diagnosed autistic people because we kind of go 304 00:18:46,196 --> 00:18:50,196 Speaker 1: our whole lives being told that like our support needs 305 00:18:50,356 --> 00:18:54,036 Speaker 1: and our autistic traits are personal failing something that we're 306 00:18:54,076 --> 00:18:57,436 Speaker 1: doing wrong, and then we internalize that even after we're 307 00:18:57,516 --> 00:19:02,116 Speaker 1: diagnosed and it feels like I can push through this 308 00:19:02,436 --> 00:19:05,716 Speaker 1: if I really tried, and our brains are like kind 309 00:19:05,716 --> 00:19:09,996 Speaker 1: of conceptualizing that as like I'm making this, I don't 310 00:19:10,036 --> 00:19:12,356 Speaker 1: really have this support need on making it up because 311 00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:14,716 Speaker 1: that's what we have been marinewashed and told to believe 312 00:19:14,756 --> 00:19:18,196 Speaker 1: our entire lives. So it's really hard to get over 313 00:19:18,236 --> 00:19:21,476 Speaker 1: and start to be able to reflect on like what 314 00:19:21,556 --> 00:19:24,876 Speaker 1: are my needs and I'm going to respect those needs. 315 00:19:24,916 --> 00:19:27,436 Speaker 1: I don't care what somebody else says or even what 316 00:19:27,476 --> 00:19:33,396 Speaker 1: my anxiety tells me. Right right, did you feel like, 317 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:36,196 Speaker 1: sort of metaphorically you're able to like let your hair 318 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:40,076 Speaker 1: down after your diagnosis, you were able to like like 319 00:19:40,156 --> 00:19:44,516 Speaker 1: step more fully into yourself. I definitely like I was 320 00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:48,996 Speaker 1: terrified to stem freely in public before, whereas now like 321 00:19:49,036 --> 00:19:52,996 Speaker 1: I'll I don't care. I'll be in the middle of 322 00:19:53,036 --> 00:19:55,836 Speaker 1: a crowded skate park and like essentially overload big time, 323 00:19:55,956 --> 00:19:58,716 Speaker 1: especially like here in California, most of the sessions are 324 00:19:58,756 --> 00:20:02,276 Speaker 1: mixed with skateboards, and skateboards are so much louder than bikes, 325 00:20:02,276 --> 00:20:04,436 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, And it's just so much noise, so 326 00:20:04,476 --> 00:20:07,556 Speaker 1: many people, so many things going on, and like, I'll, 327 00:20:07,556 --> 00:20:10,036 Speaker 1: you know, straight up like over to where I have 328 00:20:10,156 --> 00:20:12,436 Speaker 1: my bag and just curl up in a ball with 329 00:20:12,436 --> 00:20:15,716 Speaker 1: my fidget toy and stim until I calm down right there, 330 00:20:15,796 --> 00:20:19,076 Speaker 1: like I don't care. Like maybe people were like, oh, look, 331 00:20:19,076 --> 00:20:24,436 Speaker 1: it's that weird. Girl, but like yeah, cool, like right right, 332 00:20:24,476 --> 00:20:27,916 Speaker 1: I'm also a weird girl who's like, you know, a 333 00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:31,396 Speaker 1: champion cyclist, so you can eat it. Yeah, It's like 334 00:20:31,436 --> 00:20:33,756 Speaker 1: it's working for me, Like I'm getting paid to ride 335 00:20:33,756 --> 00:20:39,716 Speaker 1: here today, right, like this is your hobby, this is 336 00:20:39,756 --> 00:20:43,116 Speaker 1: my job. So yeah, yeah, yeah that definitely helps me 337 00:20:43,156 --> 00:20:47,036 Speaker 1: to feel more comfortable just being myself and stimming freely. 338 00:20:47,036 --> 00:20:48,636 Speaker 1: And if somebody does want to like come up to 339 00:20:48,676 --> 00:20:50,156 Speaker 1: me and be like, hey, you're weird. Why are you 340 00:20:50,196 --> 00:20:52,996 Speaker 1: doing that, it's like pulling an autistic girl, you weirdo? 341 00:20:53,396 --> 00:20:58,916 Speaker 1: Like right right? Yeah, yeah. I have to say like 342 00:20:59,196 --> 00:21:03,796 Speaker 1: there was this pendulum swing for me where I felt like, 343 00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:10,156 Speaker 1: am I becoming more autistic? Like after the diagnosis? Yes? 344 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:13,396 Speaker 1: And that's something too that I think people will actually 345 00:21:13,516 --> 00:21:16,356 Speaker 1: like accused of, like oh, this is why you're taking it, 346 00:21:16,396 --> 00:21:19,716 Speaker 1: because like you've been acting more artistics since you're diagnosis, 347 00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:22,516 Speaker 1: and like it feels like that, but it's like it's 348 00:21:22,556 --> 00:21:24,476 Speaker 1: just just like you said, like your hair down, just 349 00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:27,996 Speaker 1: like so freeing to finally understand and you're able to 350 00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:30,596 Speaker 1: embrace yourself and not be like why am I doing 351 00:21:30,636 --> 00:21:32,676 Speaker 1: this thing? Like what's wrong with me? This is a 352 00:21:32,716 --> 00:21:36,236 Speaker 1: bad habit. This is a character flaw, but like I 353 00:21:36,276 --> 00:21:38,716 Speaker 1: need to do this thing. This is good for me. 354 00:21:39,836 --> 00:21:42,316 Speaker 1: It does kind of seem like all of those traits 355 00:21:42,396 --> 00:21:45,556 Speaker 1: come out of nowhere, and it's very doesn't like it 356 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:49,556 Speaker 1: does not help the imposter syndrome at all. Right, Right, 357 00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:53,276 Speaker 1: I'm so glad to hear you say that, because you 358 00:21:53,316 --> 00:21:56,716 Speaker 1: know I've been going through it. Like I'm like I'm 359 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:59,036 Speaker 1: melting down more like I have a lot of meltdown, 360 00:21:59,076 --> 00:22:02,556 Speaker 1: so I'm like a lot, Like it feels worse and 361 00:22:02,596 --> 00:22:04,916 Speaker 1: like this shouldn't be the case because I'm you know, 362 00:22:05,036 --> 00:22:07,076 Speaker 1: I should be I should be able to manage this 363 00:22:07,116 --> 00:22:10,316 Speaker 1: better and all this stuff. But I have found myself 364 00:22:10,316 --> 00:22:12,876 Speaker 1: being like what is going on here? Like why do 365 00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:15,796 Speaker 1: I feel like it's more autistic? But really what it 366 00:22:15,996 --> 00:22:21,036 Speaker 1: is is it's like being tired of masking or hiding 367 00:22:21,316 --> 00:22:24,196 Speaker 1: or whatever. And I imagine that there were so many 368 00:22:24,196 --> 00:22:29,076 Speaker 1: parallels also for you in your gender journey, because it's 369 00:22:29,156 --> 00:22:32,796 Speaker 1: like I don't want to live this way anymore. But 370 00:22:32,996 --> 00:22:35,876 Speaker 1: you're you, but you have conflict about it, and you 371 00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:38,116 Speaker 1: have these sort of inner demons and you have this 372 00:22:38,356 --> 00:22:40,316 Speaker 1: voice is telling you you're wrong, and all of this 373 00:22:40,396 --> 00:22:42,876 Speaker 1: stuff and blah blah blah blah blah. And it's like 374 00:22:43,356 --> 00:22:46,316 Speaker 1: our brains are so boring. Yeah, they like they'll try 375 00:22:46,316 --> 00:22:49,716 Speaker 1: to believe, like our brains will try to believe literally 376 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:54,316 Speaker 1: any other explanation, especially with you know, with being trans, 377 00:22:54,316 --> 00:22:56,716 Speaker 1: Like when I first came to the realization that I 378 00:22:56,796 --> 00:22:58,756 Speaker 1: was trans and started to come out like this was 379 00:22:58,956 --> 00:23:02,596 Speaker 1: before public acceptance was where it's at today, Like we're 380 00:23:02,636 --> 00:23:04,596 Speaker 1: talking a little bit of like about a decade and 381 00:23:04,636 --> 00:23:07,876 Speaker 1: a half ago, Like, yeah, public knowledge wasn't there, Like 382 00:23:07,956 --> 00:23:10,596 Speaker 1: being trans was like that was a bad word, Like 383 00:23:10,636 --> 00:23:12,916 Speaker 1: you did not want to be that, so of course, 384 00:23:13,036 --> 00:23:15,236 Speaker 1: like my brain tried to think of like any other 385 00:23:15,276 --> 00:23:19,436 Speaker 1: possible explanation. And even with being autistic, like I've had 386 00:23:19,476 --> 00:23:22,276 Speaker 1: the reaction when I tell people that I'm autistic of 387 00:23:22,316 --> 00:23:24,916 Speaker 1: like oh, I'm so sorry, like the poor thing. It's like, no, 388 00:23:24,996 --> 00:23:27,396 Speaker 1: this is great. I love this, Like this is just 389 00:23:27,436 --> 00:23:29,516 Speaker 1: who I am and I value that. But it's kind 390 00:23:29,516 --> 00:23:32,836 Speaker 1: of like a similar thing of like autism and disability 391 00:23:32,876 --> 00:23:35,676 Speaker 1: are just seen as like a bad word and a 392 00:23:35,716 --> 00:23:38,676 Speaker 1: negative thing when there are things to be celebrated and 393 00:23:38,716 --> 00:23:42,396 Speaker 1: embraced because that is just part of who we are. Yeah, 394 00:23:42,516 --> 00:23:44,996 Speaker 1: it's d brains will try to like latch onto other 395 00:23:45,116 --> 00:23:47,956 Speaker 1: explanations to shy away from that just because of how 396 00:23:47,956 --> 00:23:51,036 Speaker 1: we're conditioned. And it's funny because, like we were talking 397 00:23:51,036 --> 00:23:55,036 Speaker 1: about before, is nothing changed. You just understand it now. 398 00:23:55,396 --> 00:23:58,116 Speaker 1: But like even though like you like just became aware 399 00:23:58,156 --> 00:24:01,036 Speaker 1: of being autistic or you were just diagnosed as autistic, 400 00:24:01,196 --> 00:24:03,676 Speaker 1: or like you just came out as trans, like you 401 00:24:03,756 --> 00:24:07,796 Speaker 1: were trans or autistic or whatever, your entire life up 402 00:24:07,836 --> 00:24:10,876 Speaker 1: to that point, nothing concrete. It's changing. It's just you 403 00:24:10,956 --> 00:24:13,436 Speaker 1: understand yourself better now. And I know that was a 404 00:24:13,516 --> 00:24:17,116 Speaker 1: big response with when I came out as trans, people 405 00:24:17,236 --> 00:24:20,396 Speaker 1: thinking that like I was going to change as a 406 00:24:20,476 --> 00:24:24,476 Speaker 1: person like somehow because I came out. It's like no, 407 00:24:24,716 --> 00:24:30,156 Speaker 1: I mean I still like BMX and RC cars and 408 00:24:30,196 --> 00:24:32,876 Speaker 1: I wear cut off jean shorts and T shirts. It's 409 00:24:32,876 --> 00:24:36,436 Speaker 1: just I'm a girl now. Like thee your George game 410 00:24:36,556 --> 00:24:39,916 Speaker 1: is really on point. I will say that I wonder 411 00:24:40,236 --> 00:24:44,836 Speaker 1: about like you're in the action sports biz, like it's 412 00:24:45,076 --> 00:24:48,596 Speaker 1: always been seen at least from the outside, is like way, Broy, 413 00:24:49,956 --> 00:24:54,436 Speaker 1: is it harder to be like autistic or trans or 414 00:24:54,516 --> 00:24:57,796 Speaker 1: like does nobody even care? Is it like a chill crew, 415 00:24:57,916 --> 00:25:00,156 Speaker 1: like there are people like whatever, you just like to 416 00:25:00,276 --> 00:25:03,716 Speaker 1: ride bikes, and I'm here for that. So thankfully, I 417 00:25:03,756 --> 00:25:08,676 Speaker 1: would say maybe a majority of people that are just 418 00:25:08,756 --> 00:25:11,196 Speaker 1: like I don't care like you like bikes. I like 419 00:25:11,356 --> 00:25:16,396 Speaker 1: bikes cool, But there is definitely the browy aspect of it. 420 00:25:16,476 --> 00:25:19,476 Speaker 1: I've been cool guide by more people and more times 421 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:23,996 Speaker 1: than I can count. And whether that was because like 422 00:25:24,036 --> 00:25:25,796 Speaker 1: they didn't like that I was trans, or we just 423 00:25:25,916 --> 00:25:28,716 Speaker 1: imvibe because I'm autistic, whatever the reason is, that can 424 00:25:28,756 --> 00:25:32,396 Speaker 1: definitely be that like kind of perception that it's a 425 00:25:32,476 --> 00:25:39,276 Speaker 1: very browy culture unfortunately seems to hold true when like 426 00:25:39,396 --> 00:25:42,316 Speaker 1: for me, bmax and action sports should be the opposite. 427 00:25:42,476 --> 00:25:44,916 Speaker 1: Is like we're the outcasts of the outcast, like especially 428 00:25:44,996 --> 00:25:47,436 Speaker 1: like bmax is like, you know, skateboarding is what you 429 00:25:47,476 --> 00:25:49,676 Speaker 1: do if you couldn't make the football team, and VMX 430 00:25:49,796 --> 00:25:51,876 Speaker 1: is what you would do if you couldn't skateboard. So 431 00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:54,596 Speaker 1: it's like we're the like super weirdos. So the fact 432 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:57,356 Speaker 1: that like people want to try to be like exclusionary 433 00:25:57,396 --> 00:26:00,956 Speaker 1: and browy in that community, it's like, no, like we 434 00:26:00,996 --> 00:26:05,556 Speaker 1: embrace the weirdness here. That's what we do. Yeah yeah, yeah, 435 00:26:05,596 --> 00:26:09,476 Speaker 1: well that's good. I mean, that's it's it's good to 436 00:26:09,556 --> 00:26:12,716 Speaker 1: hear at least that, like people are just like you 437 00:26:12,716 --> 00:26:18,116 Speaker 1: can ride. That's cool. Have you come across many other 438 00:26:18,636 --> 00:26:26,116 Speaker 1: autistic athletes, particularly professional athletes that I know of, But like, also, 439 00:26:26,396 --> 00:26:31,316 Speaker 1: it's strange how easily we can tell if somebody else 440 00:26:31,396 --> 00:26:34,116 Speaker 1: is autistic by the connection that we can feel with someone, 441 00:26:34,716 --> 00:26:37,916 Speaker 1: Like I won't say that, like, I can't tell for sure, 442 00:26:38,116 --> 00:26:42,716 Speaker 1: like I've met you know, they're autistic athletes, But I 443 00:26:42,756 --> 00:26:45,716 Speaker 1: don't really like know how many, just because I'm sure 444 00:26:45,756 --> 00:26:47,556 Speaker 1: there are people that, like I just didn't talk to, 445 00:26:47,676 --> 00:26:50,716 Speaker 1: or their autism like presents differently than my own, or 446 00:26:50,756 --> 00:26:53,516 Speaker 1: they're just not open about it, whatever it is. But 447 00:26:53,556 --> 00:26:58,396 Speaker 1: I feel like there's probably a fair amount of people 448 00:26:58,516 --> 00:27:02,516 Speaker 1: who are ner divergent in some way in action sports, 449 00:27:02,636 --> 00:27:07,396 Speaker 1: especially professionally, because a big part of what made me 450 00:27:07,516 --> 00:27:11,156 Speaker 1: kind of need to do BMX as a career and 451 00:27:11,316 --> 00:27:13,916 Speaker 1: gave me the ability to do BMX as a career 452 00:27:14,316 --> 00:27:17,196 Speaker 1: is being autistic. I'm not put out for the nine 453 00:27:17,236 --> 00:27:19,756 Speaker 1: to five thing. I hit burnout way too much. I 454 00:27:19,876 --> 00:27:22,636 Speaker 1: have way too many needs for most jobs to satisfy 455 00:27:22,756 --> 00:27:26,796 Speaker 1: without firing me. Whereas being a pro athlete like I 456 00:27:26,836 --> 00:27:29,956 Speaker 1: set my own schedule, I set my own sensory needs, 457 00:27:29,996 --> 00:27:32,316 Speaker 1: like I can kind of accommodate for those things and 458 00:27:32,356 --> 00:27:36,356 Speaker 1: still perform my role as an athlete. Also, the kind 459 00:27:36,436 --> 00:27:40,956 Speaker 1: of obsession with doing things repetitively and finding just so 460 00:27:41,036 --> 00:27:42,956 Speaker 1: much joy out of doing the same thing over and 461 00:27:42,956 --> 00:27:45,916 Speaker 1: over and over until it's perfect. That's kind of what 462 00:27:46,036 --> 00:27:48,516 Speaker 1: you need to do to train and for being an athlete, 463 00:27:48,876 --> 00:27:51,876 Speaker 1: and where other people might get burnt out on having 464 00:27:51,916 --> 00:27:53,756 Speaker 1: to do the same trick over and over and over, 465 00:27:53,876 --> 00:27:56,756 Speaker 1: Like I love that. So in a way, like it 466 00:27:56,916 --> 00:28:00,036 Speaker 1: kind of like has helped me to become a professional 467 00:28:00,076 --> 00:28:04,276 Speaker 1: athlete because of my just obsession with riding. That makes 468 00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:07,876 Speaker 1: total sense to me, because you know, because from what 469 00:28:07,996 --> 00:28:11,516 Speaker 1: I have gathered from friends who are professional athletes, like 470 00:28:12,196 --> 00:28:15,796 Speaker 1: the self indulgence, and I mean that in a positive 471 00:28:15,836 --> 00:28:18,436 Speaker 1: way that you need to have if you're an individual 472 00:28:18,516 --> 00:28:22,196 Speaker 1: sport athlete one hundred percent focused on yourself and your 473 00:28:22,236 --> 00:28:26,316 Speaker 1: training and your nutrition and your equipment and you're this 474 00:28:26,516 --> 00:28:30,396 Speaker 1: and you're that, it makes sense like you're autistic. You 475 00:28:30,436 --> 00:28:34,516 Speaker 1: can hyper focus on this thing and you don't there 476 00:28:34,556 --> 00:28:38,076 Speaker 1: are no outside distractions. You know, It's really cool and 477 00:28:38,116 --> 00:28:40,876 Speaker 1: I bet you that there are a lot of undiagnosed 478 00:28:40,916 --> 00:28:44,916 Speaker 1: statistic athletes that would not present in this sort of 479 00:28:44,956 --> 00:28:49,596 Speaker 1: classical way, but their sport is able to sort of 480 00:28:49,676 --> 00:28:54,196 Speaker 1: mask it because there's these overlapping traits. It's funny. I 481 00:28:54,236 --> 00:28:57,076 Speaker 1: was just talking about that in my last meeting that 482 00:28:57,116 --> 00:29:01,036 Speaker 1: I was in today. Is how like athletics can kind 483 00:29:01,036 --> 00:29:06,236 Speaker 1: of be an outlet for your nerd divergence to kind 484 00:29:06,236 --> 00:29:10,116 Speaker 1: of manifest in a socially acceptable way, and it just 485 00:29:10,156 --> 00:29:13,156 Speaker 1: helps you blend in for so long, and then like 486 00:29:13,276 --> 00:29:15,316 Speaker 1: sometimes you'll get to a point where like it's just 487 00:29:15,596 --> 00:29:19,036 Speaker 1: that thing doesn't work anymore. Like whatever it was that 488 00:29:19,156 --> 00:29:24,036 Speaker 1: was like allowing you to channel that difference through your sport, 489 00:29:24,756 --> 00:29:26,676 Speaker 1: for some reason, it stops working and you have to 490 00:29:26,756 --> 00:29:32,196 Speaker 1: like face like okay, like I am different, Like oh, 491 00:29:32,316 --> 00:29:35,636 Speaker 1: you were speaking my language right now. I mean when 492 00:29:35,676 --> 00:29:40,036 Speaker 1: I had to stop playing sports, like I mean, they 493 00:29:40,036 --> 00:29:42,076 Speaker 1: were such a huge part of my life, and then 494 00:29:42,156 --> 00:29:44,236 Speaker 1: like you know, when you finish college and then it's 495 00:29:44,276 --> 00:29:46,396 Speaker 1: the end of the road, you know, because I wasn't 496 00:29:46,436 --> 00:29:49,276 Speaker 1: going to make it a career. I did not realize 497 00:29:49,316 --> 00:29:53,516 Speaker 1: the impact that that had on me in the second 498 00:29:53,556 --> 00:29:56,756 Speaker 1: half of my life to not have that thing that 499 00:29:56,876 --> 00:29:59,796 Speaker 1: was completely focusing that also made you, that allowed you 500 00:29:59,836 --> 00:30:04,236 Speaker 1: to blend in my obsession with the sport and knowing 501 00:30:04,316 --> 00:30:06,916 Speaker 1: everything about it and knowing all about the equipment and 502 00:30:06,956 --> 00:30:09,556 Speaker 1: all of that stuff. It never found a home for that, 503 00:30:10,196 --> 00:30:12,516 Speaker 1: you know, it never found at home. I mean sometimes 504 00:30:12,516 --> 00:30:14,196 Speaker 1: I just feel the need to jog around the block. 505 00:30:14,236 --> 00:30:16,076 Speaker 1: I'm like, I just need to get get it out, 506 00:30:16,156 --> 00:30:18,676 Speaker 1: but I don't have that outlet. Well. And even like 507 00:30:18,796 --> 00:30:24,836 Speaker 1: the repetitive motion of running or endurance cycling for example, 508 00:30:24,916 --> 00:30:27,476 Speaker 1: like that can be a form of stimming, and it 509 00:30:27,596 --> 00:30:31,396 Speaker 1: is just moving your body and a repetitive motion exercising 510 00:30:31,556 --> 00:30:34,716 Speaker 1: is that is kind of like a socially acceptable form 511 00:30:34,756 --> 00:30:37,716 Speaker 1: of stimming, so like kind of it helps masks, but 512 00:30:37,796 --> 00:30:40,716 Speaker 1: also it can be what causes somebody to excel at 513 00:30:40,756 --> 00:30:43,716 Speaker 1: sports because for them, that's not like, oh man, I'm 514 00:30:43,716 --> 00:30:46,116 Speaker 1: suffering through this really long bike ride. It's like, oh 515 00:30:46,116 --> 00:30:48,476 Speaker 1: my god, I just got stim for eight hours straight 516 00:30:48,476 --> 00:30:52,076 Speaker 1: and nobody criticized me. I feel you, Yeah, I mean 517 00:30:52,116 --> 00:30:53,996 Speaker 1: that's totally so. You know, we had a garage at 518 00:30:53,996 --> 00:30:55,756 Speaker 1: the back of our house and I would throw the 519 00:30:55,756 --> 00:30:59,276 Speaker 1: little cross ball pop pop Pop Pop over and over 520 00:30:59,316 --> 00:31:02,996 Speaker 1: and over again. And my stick skills were tight. I 521 00:31:03,036 --> 00:31:05,996 Speaker 1: mean they were really really good. I had amazing six skills. 522 00:31:06,116 --> 00:31:09,716 Speaker 1: Very bad temper, but amazing stick skills. Like it was 523 00:31:09,756 --> 00:31:13,276 Speaker 1: because I was able to be out there for hours 524 00:31:13,316 --> 00:31:17,676 Speaker 1: and not get bored and and like constantly doing tricks 525 00:31:17,756 --> 00:31:21,476 Speaker 1: like we call wallball, constantly doing things like that. It's 526 00:31:21,516 --> 00:31:26,836 Speaker 1: gorgeous that you've been able to make this your job. 527 00:31:27,196 --> 00:31:31,036 Speaker 1: Being an athlete and be autistic does not comport with 528 00:31:31,076 --> 00:31:34,596 Speaker 1: a lot of people's understanding of autism. And I bet 529 00:31:34,596 --> 00:31:37,636 Speaker 1: if it was looked into more, people would see that 530 00:31:37,676 --> 00:31:40,356 Speaker 1: there's a huge crossover. Oh yeah, because I mean there's 531 00:31:40,396 --> 00:31:43,396 Speaker 1: there's obviously the century issues that can make it tricky. 532 00:31:43,636 --> 00:31:46,556 Speaker 1: There is the coordination issues that can make it tricky, 533 00:31:47,076 --> 00:31:50,076 Speaker 1: but like, there are so many aspects of autism that 534 00:31:50,196 --> 00:31:54,716 Speaker 1: lend itself really well to being an athlete. And I'm actually, 535 00:31:54,716 --> 00:31:57,796 Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying this conversation because I've i think, only 536 00:31:57,796 --> 00:32:00,476 Speaker 1: been interviewed a handful of other times about being an 537 00:32:00,516 --> 00:32:04,636 Speaker 1: autistic athlete, and almost all of the interviews are geared 538 00:32:04,676 --> 00:32:07,156 Speaker 1: more towards like, oh wow, this must be really hard. 539 00:32:07,236 --> 00:32:09,796 Speaker 1: Let's talk about things you've had to overcome. I'm like, no, no, 540 00:32:09,876 --> 00:32:13,236 Speaker 1: ask me about the things that I think are benefits 541 00:32:13,276 --> 00:32:15,676 Speaker 1: of being an autistic athlete, because there's a lot more 542 00:32:15,716 --> 00:32:19,116 Speaker 1: at bath. But it's just like the perception and it's like, oh, wow, 543 00:32:19,156 --> 00:32:21,356 Speaker 1: you're struggling with this thing. It's like, no, it's this 544 00:32:21,396 --> 00:32:26,076 Speaker 1: beautiful thing that I think benefits me, right, right, exactly exactly. 545 00:32:26,636 --> 00:32:29,516 Speaker 1: I mean the woman who diagnosed me was like really 546 00:32:29,556 --> 00:32:33,116 Speaker 1: into talking about superpowers, like autistic superpowers. I think she 547 00:32:33,236 --> 00:32:38,236 Speaker 1: was an autistic supremacist to be honest, or autistic exceptionalist, 548 00:32:38,956 --> 00:32:42,196 Speaker 1: because she was just like basically like we're better than everybody, 549 00:32:42,236 --> 00:32:45,236 Speaker 1: which I understand because like as a gay person, I 550 00:32:45,276 --> 00:32:47,556 Speaker 1: think gay people are better and probably like as a 551 00:32:47,596 --> 00:32:50,716 Speaker 1: trans person or like trans people are better, like which 552 00:32:50,756 --> 00:32:54,596 Speaker 1: is probably one accurate all of those things, you know. 553 00:32:56,036 --> 00:33:00,476 Speaker 1: And so her thing was like superpowers, and it's like, Okay, 554 00:33:00,516 --> 00:33:02,596 Speaker 1: I'm not willing to go that far, but I definitely 555 00:33:02,676 --> 00:33:05,516 Speaker 1: agree that there are things that make you like, I'm 556 00:33:05,556 --> 00:33:09,596 Speaker 1: an obsessive talker. That could be a communication deficit or 557 00:33:09,676 --> 00:33:13,036 Speaker 1: it could be great because that actually is my job, yes, exactly, 558 00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:15,756 Speaker 1: And the same thing you're mentioning with lacrosse and like 559 00:33:15,836 --> 00:33:18,556 Speaker 1: doing the wallball thing is like, I'm sure there were 560 00:33:18,636 --> 00:33:22,276 Speaker 1: kids that have to kind of be like pushed by 561 00:33:22,316 --> 00:33:24,556 Speaker 1: their coaches to be like, all right, go do your drills, 562 00:33:24,556 --> 00:33:27,076 Speaker 1: like do the same thing over and over, and they're like, yeah, 563 00:33:27,156 --> 00:33:30,076 Speaker 1: I'm so bored. I want to do something exciting. And 564 00:33:30,156 --> 00:33:33,156 Speaker 1: for you, it's like that's your enrichment, Like you're loving that. 565 00:33:33,276 --> 00:33:36,396 Speaker 1: So it's like that is an advantage of being autistic? 566 00:33:36,516 --> 00:33:41,356 Speaker 1: Is that like the kind of froggy, boring aspect of 567 00:33:41,476 --> 00:33:45,156 Speaker 1: repetition that comes with being good at anything? We thrive 568 00:33:45,236 --> 00:33:49,476 Speaker 1: in that we love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel 569 00:33:49,476 --> 00:33:52,356 Speaker 1: like we have kept you so much longer than we anticipate. 570 00:33:52,396 --> 00:33:55,356 Speaker 1: But this has been such a lovely chat and I'm 571 00:33:55,436 --> 00:33:58,516 Speaker 1: so grateful for your time. And I have one last 572 00:33:58,596 --> 00:34:02,156 Speaker 1: question for you. I want to know will you be 573 00:34:02,236 --> 00:34:07,956 Speaker 1: my autistic friend? I would love to be your autistic friend. Yes, yes, 574 00:34:08,036 --> 00:34:12,316 Speaker 1: I'm in DIF friends the best friends like this. You 575 00:34:12,436 --> 00:34:15,916 Speaker 1: know how there's always like growing up, there's that just disconnect, 576 00:34:16,036 --> 00:34:20,316 Speaker 1: like you don't understand why you don't connect with your peers, 577 00:34:20,396 --> 00:34:22,316 Speaker 1: but you know that you don't, and you just feel 578 00:34:22,316 --> 00:34:24,876 Speaker 1: like an outcast. I'll just DIF friends of the opposite. 579 00:34:24,876 --> 00:34:27,516 Speaker 1: It's like you don't understand why you have that connection, 580 00:34:27,596 --> 00:34:30,916 Speaker 1: but you just fit in. It works so well. So yeah, 581 00:34:31,156 --> 00:34:34,756 Speaker 1: just friends are the best, fantastic. So if I ever, 582 00:34:34,916 --> 00:34:37,436 Speaker 1: if I ever come out to San Diego, will you 583 00:34:37,516 --> 00:34:40,836 Speaker 1: will you teach me something on the on the BMX bikes, 584 00:34:41,076 --> 00:34:43,516 Speaker 1: I can teach e BMX bikes or cs. We can 585 00:34:43,516 --> 00:34:46,396 Speaker 1: go off roading like all the things. I mean, you 586 00:34:46,396 --> 00:34:49,596 Speaker 1: can join my cults. I don't. I don't know how 587 00:34:49,636 --> 00:34:53,036 Speaker 1: I'll fit on such a tiny and uncomfortable bicycle. I 588 00:34:53,036 --> 00:34:56,156 Speaker 1: mean it literally is like a bike for clowns, like 589 00:34:56,156 --> 00:34:59,316 Speaker 1: like at this like as a giant, Like I don't 590 00:34:59,316 --> 00:35:02,276 Speaker 1: know how you guys fit on them. I realize you 591 00:35:02,436 --> 00:35:05,636 Speaker 1: never sit on the seats. I get it. But also 592 00:35:05,796 --> 00:35:09,676 Speaker 1: like they're so tiny, I feel a little bit. It's 593 00:35:09,716 --> 00:35:13,196 Speaker 1: funny because like whenever people take it way seriously, I 594 00:35:13,316 --> 00:35:17,556 Speaker 1: like kind of giggle because it's like a guy, buddy, dude, 595 00:35:17,636 --> 00:35:20,956 Speaker 1: like we are riding bikes that are appropriately sized for 596 00:35:20,996 --> 00:35:23,916 Speaker 1: a twelve year old. How seriously are you going to 597 00:35:24,036 --> 00:35:29,836 Speaker 1: take yourself right now? It's true, It's true. It's so true. 598 00:35:29,996 --> 00:35:33,516 Speaker 1: It's so true. I mean, you're right, it's a toy, 599 00:35:33,596 --> 00:35:36,196 Speaker 1: like we are playing with toys and like, yes there's 600 00:35:36,756 --> 00:35:39,236 Speaker 1: like competitions, yes we're making careers out of it, but 601 00:35:39,276 --> 00:35:41,196 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, like we are playing 602 00:35:41,236 --> 00:35:43,956 Speaker 1: with toys, and like, that's what I love the most 603 00:35:44,156 --> 00:35:49,276 Speaker 1: about BMAX and just enjoying things that, like, in the 604 00:35:49,316 --> 00:35:52,236 Speaker 1: grand scheme of things, they're not productive. And for me, 605 00:35:52,316 --> 00:35:55,676 Speaker 1: that's the beauty of BMX and RC cars and skateboarding 606 00:35:55,756 --> 00:35:58,676 Speaker 1: or anything that you're into is just engaging in it 607 00:35:58,756 --> 00:36:03,516 Speaker 1: because it makes you happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well this 608 00:36:03,596 --> 00:36:06,476 Speaker 1: has been a joy and a pleasure at Chelsea, thank 609 00:36:06,476 --> 00:36:09,356 Speaker 1: you so much, Thank you so much. Thanks for taking 610 00:36:09,396 --> 00:36:11,596 Speaker 1: the time to talk to me. It's been a great conversation. 611 00:36:14,036 --> 00:36:18,996 Speaker 1: Chelsea Wolf is a neurospicy professional BMX freestyle writer who 612 00:36:18,996 --> 00:36:22,116 Speaker 1: competes for the US national team. You can find her 613 00:36:22,156 --> 00:36:26,596 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Chelsea Wolf BMX. That's Wolf with any 614 00:36:27,676 --> 00:36:31,236 Speaker 1: This episode was produced by David Jah and edited by 615 00:36:31,276 --> 00:36:35,316 Speaker 1: Sophie Crane, mix engineering by Jake Gorski. Thanks to you 616 00:36:35,396 --> 00:36:36,276 Speaker 1: friend for listening.