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Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, hey guys, It's me Tiffany and it's Manjo.

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Speaker 1: We just want to say thank you guys. You guys

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Speaker 1: are amazing thanks to you. Since we started our podcast,

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Speaker 1: it was just me and Mandy listening to ourselves to

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Speaker 1: now we get over one hundred thousand downloads a month,

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Speaker 1: and I know it seems like that's awesome, but we

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Speaker 1: can do even better.

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Speaker 2: And we have a favor to ask, just a tiny favor,

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Speaker 2: if you could please share our show. Share it on

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Speaker 2: your social media. You can tag us at Brown Ambition Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Take a screenshot of the show that you're listening to

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Speaker 2: and share it on Twitter, on Insta, on Facebook, tell

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Speaker 2: a friend to tell a friend. You can tag us

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Speaker 2: on social media. We're at Brown Ambition Podcast on Insta,

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Speaker 2: at the BA Podcast on Twitter, and of course our

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Speaker 2: Facebook group. You can find us under Brown Ambition. Don't

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Speaker 2: forget to tag our personal handles too. On Insta. I'm

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Speaker 2: at Mandy Money Mandy with an Ie, and Tiffany is

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Speaker 2: at the Budget Nista. When you tag us, we will

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Speaker 2: share your post and help amplify it even further. Thank

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Speaker 2: y'all for all the love this is just gonna help

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Speaker 2: us give us that little extra brown boost. Hey, hey, hey,

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Speaker 2: I have to do something extra special because.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what this episode is. It's a anniversary anniversary.

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Speaker 2: It's our two hundred and thirty fourth show and our

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Speaker 2: fifth season, fifth year. I cannot believe I have been

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Speaker 2: talking to you almost every week, Tiffany, four or five years.

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Speaker 2: You know what did think about that? You're right, almost

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Speaker 2: every week.

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Speaker 1: Of our lives, because we really don't take any days

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Speaker 1: off like any week's sof For five years, I was.

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Speaker 2: In the hospital about to give birth, and I was

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Speaker 2: like setting up episodes for the show. Yeah, that's Craig Gray. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean, Tiffany, what do you go looking back five

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Speaker 2: years even just to I mean, right now, I'm in

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Speaker 2: my moldy basement. You were in your beautifully renovated up

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Speaker 2: the office apartment house.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well the office is not it's the only room

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Speaker 1: of the house that has not been touched by a designer,

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Speaker 1: so it looks exactly what you would think like a

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Speaker 1: place of mind would look like with that help.

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Speaker 2: Nonetheless, and you're paid in cash, house renovated, you're married,

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Speaker 2: I'm married. Do you have baby babies? Oh? We have

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Speaker 2: been through a lot, I know in five years. What

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Speaker 2: do you remember about those early Brown ambition days? The

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Speaker 2: most I remember, like, well, I remember when we used

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Speaker 2: to go to the studio.

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Speaker 1: Oh you know what I remember? I used to take

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Speaker 1: all the sn from your old job. Yes I was.

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Speaker 2: I was like yes, So I was like, oh, are

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Speaker 2: we gonna be taping near the snack? I to go

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Speaker 2: to the bathroom real quick, the kitchens over there. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: who had those good snacks? Girls? But that's why they

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Speaker 2: went bankrupt, like ten times. They had kind bars. They

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Speaker 2: had all my faith. So that was what you always

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Speaker 2: used to, like stuff your personal kind bars. Yes, and

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Speaker 2: oh my god, a podcast they know nothing about in

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Speaker 2: one of their studios with their fancy, you know, sound

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Speaker 2: proof booth.

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Speaker 1: I also remember one time it was like I don't know,

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Speaker 1: his Memorial Day weekend and we were the only ones there.

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Speaker 1: It was a Monday or something like that. Everybody else

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Speaker 1: was barbecuing, but we went to the city and we

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Speaker 1: taped the podcast.

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Speaker 2: We were committed. Wow, I don't remember that, but it

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Speaker 2: sounds like us. We just taped the labor day And

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Speaker 2: I remember being like, does do we do labor day?

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Speaker 2: As like a company? Are we a company? Do we

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Speaker 2: have like betteral holidays whatever we're taking.

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Speaker 1: Well, my they all they all had off, my, my, my, my,

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Speaker 1: My employees and our staff they had off.

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Speaker 2: But I was like, I'm not doing anything. So yeah.

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Speaker 2: Plus we had Jess Brie Hello, we will show up

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Speaker 2: on a Monday for Ess Breeze, saying I hope you

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Speaker 2: guys enjoyed that episode. Well we've We've also just changed

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Speaker 2: the day around. We used to record on Sunday afternoons.

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Speaker 2: We would Yeah, we went to the city on the weekend.

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Speaker 2: We did the most for the show in the beginning,

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Speaker 2: the most, and now we're like, hmm, how little, how

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Speaker 2: much effort, how little effort can we put into like

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Speaker 2: showing up somewhere keeping the quality top notch, but like

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Speaker 2: not having to commute because our lives have just gotten

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Speaker 2: so much busier and crazier those last five years. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because where were you living five years ago? My goodness. Well,

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Speaker 2: what's funny is I was just going back down memory lane.

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Speaker 2: I was going back and looking at the names of

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Speaker 2: our episodes from the very beginning, and even just the

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Speaker 2: names of them. I feel like one of those episodes

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Speaker 2: of like Saved by the Bell when they would look

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Speaker 2: back at the last season and they'd be all eating

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Speaker 2: at the Max and then the like the you know,

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Speaker 2: like the overlay of the picture would just kind of

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Speaker 2: like swirl and they'd have those chimes go. Yeah. But

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Speaker 2: even that, I wanted to read some of the early

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Speaker 2: headlines from our episode. Yes please do they really brought

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Speaker 2: me back? And where the heck is my where is

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Speaker 2: my notepad? Here she is? I bring notes. I have notes.

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Speaker 2: That's the thing, all right, And you tell me how

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Speaker 2: you like, tell me what you think when you hear

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Speaker 2: these episodes. So our very first episode, Tiffany, do you

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Speaker 2: remember what it was? No? It was baby limbo braids

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Speaker 2: and brown Ambition. Almost I don't know if I want

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Speaker 2: to have kids. Both of us were like, I don't remember.

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Speaker 2: I was like, we didn't get under her because I'll

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Speaker 2: still worry. Pack panties, pack panties, Yes, pack pannies. Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, yeah, baby lumbo braids and brown Ambition was

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Speaker 2: our very first show. Another one you might remember is

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Speaker 2: that time Tiffany had a bill named after her. Oh,

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Speaker 2: the Budget nest to bill. Oh my god, you had

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Speaker 2: a whole entire piece of legislation and named after you.

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Speaker 2: I know. Now it's the budgetes the law, which is

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Speaker 2: even crazier. Oh lord, what about this one episode forty

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Speaker 2: three Mouse in the House? Who had a house? Tiffany,

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Speaker 2: you know it wasn't you? Do you even remember that

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Speaker 2: when we were living with our in laws. They live

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Speaker 2: in Inwood, Manhattan, which is now officially called Little Dominican Republic.

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Speaker 2: They've lived in the same building for like three decades.

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Speaker 2: Over three decades, and the super is a slum lord anyway,

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Speaker 2: So we lived there to save money, which was my

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Speaker 2: brilliant idea. And yes, I do remember that, Yes, and

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Speaker 2: I had to record in this tiny little room and

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Speaker 2: they had Yeah, they had mice. Okay, and during one

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Speaker 2: of the episodes, like two mice or one mouse in

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Speaker 2: my memory is much more exaggerated. So there were two

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Speaker 2: mice and they had like thangs and bloody trail behind them. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it zoomed out from under the bed and I lost

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Speaker 2: my I lost it.

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Speaker 1: I remember it used to be such a cusser, remember

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Speaker 1: you like look like cuss Yeah?

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Speaker 2: What has changed? Nothing has changed? Yeah, you know what

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Speaker 2: I do remember?

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Speaker 1: Remember every episode, no matter what time we take, where

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Speaker 1: we take what day, Superman would somehow smell that I

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Speaker 1: was taping.

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Speaker 2: And he'd be like, scoop, if he doesn't walk in

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Speaker 2: during this show, then that would I mean, that's if

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Speaker 2: we didn't hear that well, creepy.

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Speaker 1: The only reason why he has not it's so long

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Speaker 1: is because he got foot searchy, because right so, he

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Speaker 1: had like corrective foot searchery, and so it has kept

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Speaker 1: him grounded.

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Speaker 2: That's literally the only because I'm sure he'd.

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Speaker 1: Be like I feel I can literally tell him, babe,

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Speaker 1: I'm taping right now, just so you know. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: the problem scir oh, okay, okay, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, it's like when you don't have that elevator

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Speaker 2: and you can't help but like press the buttons. How

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Speaker 2: about this one? Speaking of my botty mouth, this episode

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Speaker 2: was called Wanda has zero focks to give. It's got

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Speaker 2: to be yes, and you're eighty year old? Who's Wanda getting?

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Speaker 2: For people who don't remember?

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Speaker 1: So Wanda is my my eighty year old self. Because

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Speaker 1: there's some study that came out to say people are

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Speaker 1: disassociated from their version of their older selves, and so

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Speaker 1: that's why they don't say for retirement and things like that.

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Speaker 1: So I said, well, what can you do to kind

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Speaker 1: of make that not be true. So I named my

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Speaker 1: eighty year old self, and I made it a game

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Speaker 1: for myself and Dreamcatchers to name them their older selves

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Speaker 1: and talk to them, you know when they're making choices,

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Speaker 1: to be like, hey, I think I'm going to go

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Speaker 1: on this.

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Speaker 2: Trip, but don't have the money.

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Speaker 1: Think I'll swipe my credit card instead and figure out

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Speaker 1: how I'll pay for it later.

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Speaker 2: And Wanda's like, oh, so cat food for me? Got it?

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Speaker 2: Got it? Wanda had no idea. Well, well, thanks to

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Speaker 2: your savvy budgeting skills, the budget Esta, Tiffany, the budgety

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Speaker 2: style leach. Wanda is eating catered fish right now, baby Wanda, Yeah, right,

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Speaker 2: cater dinner. This is true. I know, so crazy.

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Speaker 1: I remember there was like one year where like I

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Speaker 1: was so overwhelmed in every episode.

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Speaker 2: I was like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so it was like a period of like six

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Speaker 1: good months where it was like I don't want.

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Speaker 2: To do this. Maybe that's the episode that we called

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Speaker 2: sometimes It's Okay to Have a sad Nap. Probably that

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Speaker 2: was a literal title of one of our shows, Take

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Speaker 2: a sad Nap. That was probably inspired by you and

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Speaker 2: your funk.

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Speaker 1: Yes, because I remember I remember being like oh wow,

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Speaker 1: tify because I was listening back and I was like,

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Speaker 1: every episode you're you're complaining about business. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I think you're going through a rough patch, and it's

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Speaker 1: just it just goes to show you that, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes things are really hard. Because five years ago, I

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Speaker 1: think maybe I had I don't even know if I

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Speaker 1: had started the Liberature Academy or probably was just you.

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Speaker 2: Had just started it. It was because I hadn't written

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Speaker 2: a story about it for Yahoo Finance, and I think

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Speaker 2: we had just launched the show. It was either like

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Speaker 2: right after we launched it, or was that same year

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Speaker 2: that we launched.

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Speaker 1: Probably around the same set, because I think Liberature Academy

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Speaker 1: is just like four and a half five years old,

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Speaker 1: and so you know, with any new business, it was

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Speaker 1: so hard, honestly, and it wasn't like the Budgetista where

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Speaker 1: there's like this direct return right away. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was so I mean the Literature Academy almost failed

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Speaker 1: so many times, and so I think I was just like,

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't know how to make it work.

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Speaker 1: I'm already working all the hours I'm able to work.

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Speaker 2: What's crazy is that I had the total opposite perception

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Speaker 2: of you, tiff Like I always thought of you. I

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Speaker 2: mean it's just funny how you know, especially from you

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Speaker 2: never see yourself what others do. And I always saw

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Speaker 2: you as like already successful. You had this established brand,

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Speaker 2: established business, you were killing it, you know, and you

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Speaker 2: were but like you were still very much building the Budgetista. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean very different already are now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because back then, because I had put so much

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Speaker 1: work into the budget Nista, I want to say, five

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Speaker 1: or six years ago, maybe made one hundred and fifty

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars, not Tiffany, I'm talking about the business. And

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Speaker 1: then the year I launched the academy, the Budgetsta because

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Speaker 1: I couldn't focus on it, made seventy five thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: that year.

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Speaker 2: So it's like we like no.

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Speaker 1: Money because people think, like, well, seventy five thousand is good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the business meaning like I personally took home about twenty

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Speaker 1: five thousand. So five years ago, I was like making

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Speaker 1: less than my preschool teacher yourself, and so it was

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Speaker 1: really stressful to work super hard and then to make

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Speaker 1: next to nothing. Yeah, five years ago, I think I

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Speaker 1: was still even live staying in the room, like or

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Speaker 1: maybe I had just moved in with Superman. We weren't

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Speaker 1: married yet, we were like just like exclusive, so it

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Speaker 1: was like there definitely was not money, Like, there was

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Speaker 1: not you know, money, It was just work. So who

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Speaker 1: those are some times?

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Speaker 2: Can we just appreciate the title of our show for

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Speaker 2: a second too, because I just realized, like that was

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Speaker 2: a fucking stroke of genius brown ambition. I mean, it

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Speaker 2: couldn't have better. I don't think it could have better

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Speaker 2: described where we were at personally at that time, you know,

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Speaker 2: having the ambition, the drive to succeed despite the despite

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Speaker 2: all the challenges, and I feel like this summer with

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Speaker 2: Black Lives Matter, all these conversations around racial justice and racism,

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Speaker 2: it was the first time I actually reflected on some

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Speaker 2: things that happened to me while building my career and

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Speaker 2: how I was like, damn, you really just put your

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Speaker 2: blinders on, and you're like, yeah, yeah, I accept that

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Speaker 2: these things are true, that I'll deal with certain you know,

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Speaker 2: prejudices or certain stereotypes, and I'll have to work maybe

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Speaker 2: a little bit harder than everyone else. But I just

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Speaker 2: did it, you know, And I think that's what brown

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Speaker 2: ambition is. It's you know, I don't know, how would

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Speaker 2: you define brown ambition? For me, it's like the will

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Speaker 2: to succeed and persevere in spite of the challenges, in

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Speaker 2: spite of the fact that, like you accept, Okay, this

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Speaker 2: shit is going to be harder for me because of

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Speaker 2: what I was born into, my body, my race, my gender.

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Speaker 2: But fuck it, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: beat them all anyway.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I remember, like my audition was like in

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Speaker 1: this Brown Skin. Remember we were trying.

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Speaker 2: To we did a little intro once and never again, and.

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Speaker 1: It was like career finance, like you know, dating whatever,

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Speaker 1: in this Brown Skin.

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Speaker 2: I was so proud of that.

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Speaker 1: But no, you're right, it could not have been a

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Speaker 1: more perfect title, because it's yeah, it's just so crazy.

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Speaker 1: It's like even though like I was in my mid thirties,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I'm forty now, but I was in

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Speaker 1: my mid thirties, but I still very much felt like

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Speaker 1: a kid, and so I felt like, you know, we've

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Speaker 1: grown up on this show.

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Speaker 2: Wait, so you were kind of were Yeah, I was

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Speaker 2: mid twenties. Wait wait twenties because I'm thirty three now

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Speaker 2: it's twenty eight. Okay, never mind. I was like I

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Speaker 2: still think I'm thirty in my head. I keep forgetting

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Speaker 2: me those extra three years decade.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're a little bit further off than where

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Speaker 1: I was, but it was just for you are way further.

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Speaker 2: Ahead than I was because I've been hanging out with

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Speaker 2: you every week for five years. Except the thing.

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Speaker 1: Because at thirty three, I was like, so I think

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Speaker 1: I should go to that event so I could eat tonight.

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Speaker 2: Okay. Literally at thirty three, yeah.

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Speaker 1: The business probably was making I don't know, fifty thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars a year, which means I was probably making about

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Speaker 1: fifteen thousand dollars, And literally I would go to events

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Speaker 1: that had food because I was like, that's the way

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Speaker 1: I'm going to guarantee that I'll get like a solid meal. Now,

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Speaker 1: don't get me wrong. I wasn't to be like homeless

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Speaker 1: or hungry because I have parents and my sisters and things.

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Speaker 1: But that's how I would negotiate, like should I go,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to that event, And yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: I don't even know.

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Speaker 2: I look back at those times and you just want

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Speaker 2: to like, what was motivating you, Tiffany because the podcast no,

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Speaker 2: just like guess in general, Yeah, no, that's a good

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Speaker 2: that's a fair question. It was, That's what it was,

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Speaker 2: you know. It was it was just like I just

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Speaker 2: wanted to live life on my own terms.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so and when it was like for you to

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Speaker 2: ask me to decisions exactly.

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Speaker 1: When you ask me to do the podcast, I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to. I'd heard of them, and I was

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Speaker 1: just like why not. I wanted I wanted to try

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Speaker 1: something because I've always been like I'd always done kind

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Speaker 1: of like the safe thing, and it was like why

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Speaker 1: not I've never I mean, I I don't know anybody

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Speaker 1: who has a podcast, but if Mandy thinks it's a

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Speaker 1: good idea, you know, it's so funny. Someone else asked

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Speaker 1: me to do a podcast with them. We know who

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Speaker 1: she is. I'm not gonna shade her because she's still cool.

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Speaker 1: But she asked me to do a podcast with her.

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Speaker 1: She was like before you did, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah. And I'm not sure what happened. I feel

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Speaker 1: like someone told her that they shouldn't do a podcast

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Speaker 1: with me. I'm not sure why, but as far as

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Speaker 1: I know, they don't have a podcast now. But I

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Speaker 1: just remember thinking like because it was all like okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then they were like yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think she actually told me.

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Speaker 1: She was like, yeah, my whoever told me that? Because

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Speaker 1: she was trying to build and I guess she felt

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Speaker 1: like it would be I don't know if it would

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Speaker 1: be competition or it would.

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Speaker 2: Be whatever, but that it wouldn't be a good idea

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Speaker 2: to do a podcast with me.

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Speaker 1: I remember being disappointed and I was like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: And when you asked me, I was like okay. I

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Speaker 1: was like, is she gonna pull on back too? But

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Speaker 1: then five years later, here we are.

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Speaker 2: Well because I genuinely, I mean, I think at the

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Speaker 2: core of it, we just we just always clicked as friends.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, and I think it's like any friendship,

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Speaker 2: you know, I can't lie. I think being where we

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Speaker 2: were at in our careers at the time, but we're

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Speaker 2: in such a different what would be we're in the

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Speaker 2: same similar like we're both passionate about financial education. We're

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Speaker 2: both doing it in very different ways. Like my backgrounds

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Speaker 2: and journalism. You had the brand that you were building,

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Speaker 2: the Liver Academy all that, they're just very different. I

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Speaker 2: always felt, and I think that's important and something to

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Speaker 2: like a takeaway for why I think the show it

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Speaker 2: hasn't just helped listeners, and I mean it's helped hundreds

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Speaker 2: thousands of listeners. You've got millions of downloads to the

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Speaker 2: show in five years. And I feel like there's a

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Speaker 2: I have so much respect for you, and I come

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Speaker 2: to you wanting to learn. It's like I knew you

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Speaker 2: well enough, but not well enough to like not take

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Speaker 2: anything you take serious, anything you say seriously, you know

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Speaker 2: how Like if I was doing with my brother, it

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Speaker 2: wouldn't worked because I wouldn't believe him. The boy you

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Speaker 2: used to walk around with Power Ranger at costumes on

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Speaker 2: and like post pictures of Backstreet boys to your wall,

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Speaker 2: Like I don't respect you, you know. But and while

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Speaker 2: I've watched you grow and succeed, I think it's also

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Speaker 2: you know, this show has been a weekly reminder of

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Speaker 2: needing to support, Like even when you were having up

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Speaker 2: weeks or I always maybe having a down week, you know,

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Speaker 2: I could still it would be a good practice for

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Speaker 2: me to still feel like find happiness for you, even

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Speaker 2: though that was necessarily what was happening on my journey.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but and then but you're right, though it was

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Speaker 1: just to me, it was a good match because yeah,

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Speaker 1: I always thought that you were like, well, not.

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Speaker 2: That I don't now, but I was like, Ohmanny is

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Speaker 2: so smart.

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Speaker 1: For real.

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Speaker 2: I would just always think that, like, Omandy is so smart.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, she said, what.

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Speaker 1: You want to do this? Because you were like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna figure out how a podcast. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I figure I how to edit. I'm like what, okay, girl,

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh yeah, I figured I had had a

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Speaker 1: post here and we're gonna do this. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: Ohmandy is so smart. That's I mean, that was always

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Speaker 1: my takeaway before I knew you well, and even after

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Speaker 1: I've gotten to know you better. I just if someone

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Speaker 1: had to ask me to describe you in one word,

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Speaker 1: it would be like smart.

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Speaker 2: Oh that is the nicest thing. Meanwhile, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I should have been doing more. I can't believe we

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Speaker 2: don't have a merchandise store yet. What is going on? Oh? Please, Mandy,

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Speaker 2: you are a beast.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, when you actually took time after

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Speaker 1: the baby, I was so proud of you because I

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Speaker 1: knew that you were overwhelmed, but I knew that you

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Speaker 1: had to make the decision, and I just wanted to

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Speaker 1: create a safe space that you knew that I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to make you feel bad about taking time off,

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Speaker 1: but I knew that I couldn't force your hand. I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, I'm just gonna let maybe know that

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Speaker 1: whatever she wants to do is what I want to do.

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Speaker 2: You want to keep going, okay.

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Speaker 1: But I could tell you we're overwhelmed, And then I

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Speaker 1: was just so proud of you for being like, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I can't do this, this is too much.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, exactly many yes, yeah, so yeah. At the

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Speaker 2: same time, though I need this podcast, I feel like,

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Speaker 2: I mean, there are days, like we're human, there are

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Speaker 2: days when I don't want to do it. I know

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Speaker 2: there's days Tiffany doesn't want to do it. We're both

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Speaker 2: just like on the phone, like how are you? How

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Speaker 2: are you to do? I mean, we're just human and

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Speaker 2: we all and be tired. But I feel like this show, ultimately,

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Speaker 2: I never feel worse having done it, having had a

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Speaker 2: conversation with you. I always kind of leave maybe not

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Speaker 2: like you know, maybe not every episode is you know,

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Speaker 2: life changing, but I always feel like better and we're

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Speaker 2: you know, neutral, I don't feel worse having talked to you.

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Speaker 2: It always kind of gives me something. I can take

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Speaker 2: something away from it, and I really value that. And

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Speaker 2: on today's show, we actually have a special guest, and

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Speaker 2: it may see kind of random for us to take

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Speaker 2: a pause and kind of do an episode focused on

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Speaker 2: mental health, but I've been transparent about my struggles with anxiety,

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Speaker 2: and y'all know, after I had the baby, I really

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Speaker 2: struggled with postpartum anxiety, which really was just a it

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Speaker 2: was like extra I had always kind of had anxiety.

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Speaker 2: I just knew how to cope with it. But put

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Speaker 2: a baby in my hands, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: I was a hot mess and the anxiety really became

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Speaker 2: just too much for me to cope with. And you know,

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Speaker 2: I've been in therapy and I started taking an anti

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Speaker 2: anxiety medication and I feel in one of the things

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Speaker 2: today's guest doctor Aimani, who will talk to in the

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Speaker 2: next part of the show. She's really amazing and I

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Speaker 2: had a chance to just chat with her. I usually

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Speaker 2: talk to guests before they come on the show to

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Speaker 2: you know, talk about what they're feeling and what they

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Speaker 2: want to talk about, and she just the simple truth

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Speaker 2: about therapy. She talked about how just saying your problems

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Speaker 2: out loud to someone has so much power. And even if,

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Speaker 2: like obviously neither Tiff nor I is a professional license therapist,

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Speaker 2: but it just gave me an outlet, you know, even

432
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 2: when I wasn't in therapy. At least I can come

433
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,119
Speaker 2: to the show and talk about here's my brown boost,

434
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,439
Speaker 2: here's my break, Here's what I've thought about today. And

435
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 2: I really do feel like that has had a positive

436
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 2: impact on my mental health all these all these years.

437
00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: No, and I love that because I didn't realize because

438
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 1: I'm just so used to I don't when we tape,

439
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 1: I'm just talking to you because oftentimes sometimes we'll talk

440
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 1: like a full half an hour or forty five minutes

441
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 1: before we actually start taping. So it just always feels

442
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 1: like talking to my friend Mandy. And it's not until

443
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 1: I step out into the world, and maybe it's been

444
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 1: like the last year or two that people will stop

445
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 1: me and they'll say.

446
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 2: Something and I'm like what They're like, brand a fission.

447
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, you you listen because I'm

448
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: just talking to you one yeah, I know, but I

449
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 1: just love that, like to see, like I told you,

450
00:20:58,119 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: I was just at a birthday party, and this woman

451
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 1: walk and she was like, oh my gosh. You know.

452
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, oh, she knows budgenisis. She was like,

453
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,400
Speaker 2: oh my god, tell Mandy, I said.

454
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 3: Hi.

455
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 2: I was like, oh me, well, like I will. She

456
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 2: was like I loved that.

457
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 1: I was just listening to it in the car and

458
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,200
Speaker 1: she's like hitting her husband's like slapsop flap, flap flash.

459
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 2: That's what I was telling you about. And I just

460
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,639
Speaker 2: thought this is so awesome.

461
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,119
Speaker 1: Remember I remember I told you I went to a

462
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,439
Speaker 1: lovey's wedding and I came downstairs in the elevator in

463
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: the lobby was a young gentleman. I forget his name,

464
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: but he was no more than like twenty two, and.

465
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,120
Speaker 2: He was like, oh my god, Brown had that shit.

466
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,119
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you listen because he was fabulous, like

467
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,120
Speaker 1: and he just I wouldn't think that he was an

468
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 1: ambition listener. And so that's what surprises me that how

469
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 1: many people listen, how many people like just like they

470
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: love the fact that we're here every week, and how

471
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 1: many people really lean in and they're just like, you know,

472
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 1: thank y'all for being y'all. You know, we talk about race,

473
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,959
Speaker 1: We've talked about babies, We talk about uteruses, Hagar who

474
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 1: was mad about my uterus?

475
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 2: We talk about me at least two episodes with the

476
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 2: Fibroid in the time love them, I will tell you that.

477
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: Yes, But you know what, so many women hit me

478
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 1: up behind the scenes to either give me advice or

479
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 1: just to share. Like I too, because fireboards are something

480
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,719
Speaker 1: that really plague black women in particular, and so like

481
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: I just, I just I love the fact that we

482
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 1: are really honest and open here and Brana Bisson has

483
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 1: been like just our extended family. And I just love

484
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 1: how you guys love on us. And I love the

485
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 1: fact that you always trying to give me a hug

486
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 1: when I told you I don't like hooks.

487
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 2: Well, no one's doing No, one's done that in a while,

488
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,680
Speaker 2: I hope, because no, no, no, they probably get fine. You

489
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 2: could probably call the police on them if you want to.

490
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,160
Speaker 1: No, no, But I just love that that our BA

491
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: family has been here so thick and thin, and you

492
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 1: guys have continued to share us with folks, and yeah,

493
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,959
Speaker 1: just all the loves you share share with us on

494
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 1: social media, and yeah, it's just been an amazing, awesome.

495
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 2: Ride five years. I'm so proud of us. You don't

496
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 2: give very much time to like really sit back, especially

497
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,719
Speaker 2: now there's no graduations, there's no diplomas or degrees. No

498
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 2: one kind of says and now we'll take a pause

499
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 2: and appreciate your awesomeness. But let's do that for ourselves.

500
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 2: Because five years, two hundred and thirty plus shows, millions

501
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: of downloads, hundreds of thousands of listeners. It is amazing

502
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 2: what we've built. It is period paragraph slash comma. I'm

503
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 2: gonna do more talking because I listened to continue. I

504
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,719
Speaker 2: feel like this is this, This feels like a new

505
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,360
Speaker 2: beginning for us too. And I'm only I'm only more

506
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 2: excited about the show and what's to come. I think

507
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,680
Speaker 2: the last five years were about building something from scratch,

508
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 2: growing it. You know, it was real turning point for

509
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,160
Speaker 2: me when it felt like not every person who listened

510
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 2: to the show was like a dream catcher, no shade

511
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,880
Speaker 2: to dreamcatchers like love y'all, I mean y'all were there

512
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 2: for us in the beginning, dream catchers, and they still are.

513
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 2: But you know, we're really expanding our reach, but we

514
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 2: never forget the you know, those those five hundred people,

515
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 2: whoever you are who first downloaded those early episodes, like

516
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 2: thank you for listen to us and letting us into

517
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 2: your cars, your homes, your subway commute, whatever. We wouldn't

518
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 2: be here without y'all. And I'm very, very excited for

519
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 2: what's to come. Y'all can look forward to more engagement

520
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 2: from us. I'm finding I'm looking for new ways we

521
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: can like spotlight our listeners and just show you guys

522
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 2: that we're listening. I read your dms. I literally spend

523
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 2: Friday nights responding to them. My husband's like, who are

524
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 2: you talking to I'm dictating because I do audio dictation,

525
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 2: and I'm like, just be quiet, it's my we have

526
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 2: a thing. And yeah, we just want you guys to

527
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 2: know how you know, appreciative we are for your for

528
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 2: your support and all right, I'm done now for now,

529
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 2: I'll be ready to welcome doctor Imani. Yeah, I'm so

530
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 2: stoked for today's guest. Stoked Is that a word I've

531
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,159
Speaker 2: ever said in five years? I don't know what I

532
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 2: just said it right now? Yes, you guys, stay tuned.

533
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 2: After the break, we're going to be right back with

534
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,360
Speaker 2: our guest for today. Her name is doctor Imani Walker,

535
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 2: but I actually had a chance to talk to Immani yesterday,

536
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 2: and she's amazing. Not only does she see patients daily

537
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 2: during a pandemic, but she's also really transparent about her

538
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 2: own struggles with mental health. And like I was telling Tiff,

539
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 2: I am so excited to have her on the show

540
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 2: today because with everything going on, I don't think we've

541
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 2: really taken an episode to take a pause, take a

542
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 2: step back, and acknowledge what sheer hell we have been

543
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 2: through as humans these past six months in quarantine, and

544
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 2: doctor Emani is going to help us come up with

545
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,199
Speaker 2: some ways to cope with maybe what maybe increasing our

546
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 2: anxiety these days. You know, we're six months into this,

547
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 2: We're staring down another half of this year. Like who

548
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,639
Speaker 2: knows what's going to happen in November. I mean, I

549
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 2: think a news report came out yesterday that said life

550
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 2: is canceled to like beyond twenty twenty one. So listen,

551
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 2: we are humans, and I'm excited to have doctor Walker

552
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 2: on to help us kind of just talk about how

553
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 2: to cope with that and acknowledge that, you know, whether

554
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 2: no matter how strong you are I think you are,

555
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 2: of us always need help. And I hope that what

556
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 2: she has to say will be helpful to y'all. Molly agrees,

557
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 2: do you can you hear her? Okay, all right, let's

558
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 2: say a quick break before my dog loses her mind.

559
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 2: Be right back with Amii Walker and we're back and browner.

560
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: We have the amazing, the beautiful, the intelligent, and the

561
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 1: real doctor Amii.

562
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, no, I like that. Hi everybody, and hi

563
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 2: to you guys.

564
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 3: I like that though, yes it is browner just because

565
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 3: I'm here, so so yeah, I'm totally like, I'm so

566
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 3: high to like meet you guys virtually because new normal.

567
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 2: But yeah, like this is this is great. I'm super

568
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,399
Speaker 2: happy to be here. So doctor Amani, you have been

569
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 2: a practicing psychiatrist for how long?

570
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 3: Now let's see my I'm like looking at one of

571
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 3: my degrees on the wall in my office. Yes, that's

572
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 3: all right, sorry, yeah, like that really wasn't a flex,

573
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 3: but I realized now it sounds like one of my degrees,

574
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 3: one of my four things on the wall.

575
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 2: You pay for them. Let's let's respect. Well, okay, I will.

576
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 3: I will admit, like, honestly, I didn't pay for them.

577
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 3: My parents did, right, So so I actually spoke about

578
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 3: my mom I spoke to my mom about this because

579
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,679
Speaker 3: we have a YouTube show actually that we usually do

580
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 3: it every Monday, so I have to do that in

581
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:06,719
Speaker 3: a couple hours. But I never let anyone know in

582
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,679
Speaker 3: school that I didn't receive financial aid or that I

583
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 3: had a scholarship. So I would always memorize where the

584
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 3: financial aid office was because at the end of the year,

585
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 3: apparently you have to do like your financial aid wrap up,

586
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 3: and I don't know anything about like I've heard of

587
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 3: loans like Stafford loans and stuff, but that didn't apply

588
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 3: to me. So I would just memorize where the financial

589
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 3: aid office was because I didn't want people to know,

590
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 3: you know that my basically my parents saved up for it.

591
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 3: And I did have a scholarship. My alma maters is

592
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 3: Xavier University in New Orleans, and I had an academic scholarship. Yes, yes,

593
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 3: but yeah, I never My mother told me when I

594
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 3: was a senior in high school. She was like, well,

595
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 3: you know, if you want to go to a school

596
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 3: in the Northeast, and I'd gotten into like Wesleyan and Vassar,

597
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 3: which is my mom's alma mater, she was like, you

598
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 3: can do that, but she like She was really really

599
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 3: adamant about me going to Xavier because I wanted to

600
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 3: be a doctor and it's basically a black doctor factory

601
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 3: and has been for decades.

602
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 2: So she was like, here's the thing.

603
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 3: We can pay for your college because it's significantly cheaper,

604
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 3: like it was much much cheaper than Northeast like Ivy

605
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 3: League suition. She was like, I can pay for you

606
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 3: a college, you can get a car, you know, basically

607
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 3: like you can be out here. But when but if

608
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 3: you go to a school in the Northeast, you're going

609
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 3: to have to take out loans. And I was like,

610
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 3: well then no, I was like, I'm not doing that,

611
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 3: so my my.

612
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 2: So basically that's what happened.

613
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 3: So when I would be at a college, like I said,

614
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 3: at Xavier, and then when I was in med school,

615
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 3: I knew I mean, the majority of people that I

616
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 3: knew who were my med school class were on scholarship

617
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 3: or you know, received financial aid. But and I knew

618
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 3: where the office was, I knew the building, but I

619
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 3: had just never been in the office because it didn't

620
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 3: apply to me.

621
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 2: So it's amazing. I love that story and also how

622
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 2: odd that you were ashamed of something that was so amazing. Yes,

623
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 2: it was.

624
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, it wasn't that I was fearful of

625
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 3: anyone shaming me, and I wasn't. I wasn't ashamed of

626
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 3: having like my friends, know, like the brown and black,

627
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 3: you know friends that I had. It was more so

628
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 3: like I was like, I don't want these white people

629
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 3: to know because then like it's like, oh so, because

630
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: the assumption is you're on financial aid when we all

631
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 3: know that white women benefit the most from you know,

632
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 3: affirmative action and in those types of scholarships, right or

633
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 3: those types of situations. I just didn't want to have

634
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 3: the conversation of like, Okay, you know, my parents are

635
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 3: very they're.

636
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 2: They're very what's the word I'm looking for. They're very austere.

637
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 3: And that's what they taught me, and that's what they

638
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 3: taught like, you know, my cousins and everybody else in

639
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 3: my family. So I always saw money as a tool

640
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 3: and not something to just be spent. And I guess

641
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 3: I didn't want anybody to think that like, oh so

642
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 3: you think you'll all that. So I actually I haven't

643
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 3: admitted this to anybody outside of my circle of friends.

644
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 3: I don't think until like this year because I just

645
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 3: didn't I just didn't want I just didn't want people

646
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 3: to know. I'm like, if that's my personal business. And

647
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 3: then also the way I grew up, it was like,

648
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 3: you know, you keep your financial business to yourself. So

649
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 3: we always I guess, I mean like we were solidly

650
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 3: middle class. Then we became middle upper class, but we

651
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 3: still you know, went to Sam's Club, went to Costco.

652
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 3: Like my mom grew up on welfare. My dad wasn't

653
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 3: on welfare, but he he you know, just had two

654
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 3: hard working parents that weren't getting a lot of money

655
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 3: in the Jim Crow South. So I was just taught

656
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 3: to you know, like yes, money, but like it, you know,

657
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 3: it ain't for you, like you, Oh you want outfit,

658
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,479
Speaker 3: that's that's cute, Go get a job. So I've been

659
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 3: working since I was fourteen ever since you could have

660
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 3: get your working papers in New York, yes.

661
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: To the high school and get your working the summer.

662
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, I used I went to this. There was a school.

663
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 3: I went to Calhoun on eighty first in West and Manhattan,

664
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 3: and there was like a I don't know if it

665
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 3: was like a special needs school or something similar. It

666
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 3: was like a block away, and I remember when I

667
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 3: was fourteen, I went over there and got my working papers,

668
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 3: and I've been working. So if I'm forty four now,

669
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 3: i've been working for thirty years.

670
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah.

671
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 3: So anyway, I'm sorry how to answer your question because

672
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 3: I just did I even ask a question, said this story.

673
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 2: I have so many pollow ups I have, like I

674
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 2: can go on Tannis. So just like you know, be

675
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 2: like Emani. Okay, top out you do from your own podcast?

676
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 2: Can we just say Imani's state of Mind? Check it out?

677
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 2: I love it. I listened to the one of the

678
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 2: most recent episodes yesterday. Oh nice, nice, I love my

679
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 2: past on today.

680
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 3: It's super fun. I've been so I've been a practicing

681
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 3: physician since two thousand and nine.

682
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 2: That's why that was my question. Yeah, but no, I

683
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 2: love it. No ten years wait, two thousand and five,

684
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 2: so fifteen years, No, two thousand and nine. So two

685
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 2: thousand and nine, I've finished my fellowship in forensic psychiatry.

686
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 2: So since then, pretty much I've been treating psychiatric patients.

687
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,719
Speaker 2: So you are well, So business must be booming.

688
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 3: Yes, business is booming, I would say, I mean, like

689
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 3: straight up, when this when all this happens, Like I

690
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 3: freaked out like everybody else because it was basically it

691
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 3: was like Friday, and I'm out here in LA so

692
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 3: it was like I think it was March thirteenth or

693
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 3: something like that.

694
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 2: Friday, it was like, okay, so we're probably.

695
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 3: Gonna be on quarantine and I was like, okay, well,

696
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 3: I don't really know what that means, like as it

697
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 3: pertains to me.

698
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 2: And then Monday, we were all.

699
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 3: On lockdown and I was like, oh my god, like

700
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 3: do I have a job Stille, What am I gonna do?

701
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 3: So I've pretty much been exclusively seeing patients via telehealth,

702
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 3: so either by video conferencing or by the via telephone,

703
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: and it is business booming. Yes, I work at a hospital.

704
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,959
Speaker 3: I am the medical director and also the chief medical

705
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 3: officer at a mental health hospital out here in Los

706
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:12,839
Speaker 3: Angeles called Gateways Hospital. And the patients that I see,

707
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 3: because I have a forensic psychiatry background, these are patients

708
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 3: who came from jail or came from the state mental hospital.

709
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 3: They might have committed some really like really egregious crimes,

710
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 3: but it was due to their symptoms from mental illness.

711
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 3: So I basically get them stable and keep them stable son't.

712
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 3: It hasn't necessarily increased for me. It's it just I

713
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 3: had to change the mode with what I had to

714
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 3: change the mode of how I was seeing my patients,

715
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 3: which honestly, I really I really like being at home honestly.

716
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 2: I mean, I think we've both talked about how there

717
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 2: we are introverts. Yeah, the intersection between mental health and

718
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 2: what's happening right now. I mean, everything happening in the

719
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,720
Speaker 2: world is just a lot right now, And I feel

720
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 2: like it is the exact right moment to have you

721
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 2: on because we're like five or six months into this thing,

722
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 2: telling Tifflake, we really haven't taken a step back to

723
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 2: pause and examine sort of how has this affected us all? So,

724
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 2: I mean, what would you say. I know that your

725
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 2: you know, your patients have like you were saying, you know,

726
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 2: severe mental illness, But what are sort of like, can

727
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 2: you break down, like mentally sort of what it is?

728
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 2: What's happening to us? What's going on? Why? Why anxiety

729
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,399
Speaker 2: is up? It feels like people who had maybe low

730
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 2: grade depression before probably more prone to having it pop

731
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 2: up now. I mean, like, Tif, how's it been for you?

732
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: Like I feel like we just need someone to explain

733
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 2: to us what's happening and how we can like cope. Yes,

734
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 2: it's been.

735
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: They were, especially in the beginning. At first I was like,

736
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. I'm not good, you know,

737
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 1: And then so there's just been this wave of good,

738
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 1: not good, good, not good. And I remember last night

739
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 1: I was scrolling through social and I literally had to

740
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 1: say no.

741
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 2: My husband wanted to show me one of those videos.

742
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: We all know what I mean, what we mean by like,

743
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: you know, black dead, black beaten bodies, And I said, honestly, Babe,

744
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 1: I refuse, I refuse. I'm not looking at any more

745
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: of those videos.

746
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 2: I'm not. It's too much, it's too much.

747
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's how I'm feeling that, I'm feeling that,

748
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,760
Speaker 1: I'm feeling in a place where I feel like I'm

749
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 1: striving hard to protect my piece because it's just all

750
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:16,280
Speaker 1: too much.

751
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

752
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 3: I I have always known that, Like, I'm not good

753
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 3: with seeing people in the act of being hurt or

754
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 3: being tortured, Like I don't I don't want to invite

755
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 3: that into my space, loud. I'm fine with, you know,

756
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 3: picking up the pieces and helping someone after the fact.

757
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 3: But for me, all I need to know is like, okay,

758
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 3: so tell me what happened. Okay, great, those the facts

759
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 3: all right, Now how do we get it better? I

760
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 3: haven't watched one video, probably since I'm not even lying,

761
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,879
Speaker 3: probably since Rodney Kan I'm like, I'm not watching this shit,

762
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 3: like I'm not.

763
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 2: I don't need to invite that into my space.

764
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 3: So you know, I'll I'll look at the news like

765
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 3: not get it, but I'll read the news from my

766
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 3: news app on my phone for like fifteen minutes and

767
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 3: a day, and then that's it because everything else is

768
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 3: like speculative and conjecture and.

769
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 2: Things that you know. I don't know if you guys

770
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 2: have been noticing this, but like the news that that

771
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 2: bubbles up through the COVID cracks, if you will, is

772
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 2: some wild shit. Yeah, because it has to take away

773
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 2: the headlines from COVID. It's wild.

774
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 3: I saw like apparently there's like I mean, it's summertime,

775
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 3: but you know, kids in cars overheating and dying, and

776
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 3: some there was some woman who like kills her grandparents.

777
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 3: Like it's just it's so much weird ness that's going on.

778
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 3: So I purposefully don't like if there's a video. I'm like,

779
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 3: I ain't watching that, Like, I'm not trying.

780
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 2: To be in a andemic. It's also it's this reckoning

781
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 2: we're having. We're happening, Yeah, I can talk. We're having

782
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 2: with the reality of what it's like to be black

783
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 2: in America, black and brown in America, and that is

784
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 2: happening at the same time where like everyone's lives are

785
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 2: at risk and the world's on fire and the pandemic's happening.

786
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 2: I mean, so you mentioned Killer Locus.

787
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. There's no killer Locus. There's killers or something, right, Like.

788
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 2: I can see that there's aliens on Venus today. I

789
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 2: was there's aliens on Venus. Can we join them? Do

790
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 2: they like you know, you know, can I apply for admission?

791
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 2: I don't know.

792
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 3: I saw that, but I was like, this is the

793
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 3: nerd in me. I'm like, is that possible? Because I

794
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 3: think Venus is like a gaseous planet. But whatever, whatever, Again,

795
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 3: let's not even focus on that because I'm super nerd.

796
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 2: I'll nerd out. So let's my knowledge of Venus is

797
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 2: like sailor Moon from you know, high school as where

798
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 2: as it goes. But so okay, But but fifteen minutes,

799
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 2: so limiting news. I think that's something that I need

800
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 2: to do that because I am obsessed with telling my Google,

801
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, hey, Google, tell me the news just

802
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,879
Speaker 2: whenever I have downtime or I'm cooking or walking the dog.

803
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 2: I just I become kind of obsessed with listening tones.

804
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 2: But you're right, like it doesn't really change, but something

805
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 2: about that has become like a tick for me to

806
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 2: want to consume it just to see if something new

807
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 2: has happened, or if there's new information.

808
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 3: There's something I was told last week I was doing this.

809
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 3: I was being recorded for this documentary about millennials and

810
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 3: mental health, and my topic was anxiety. And there was

811
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 3: an interesting term the producer used, which was what did

812
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 3: you call it?

813
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 2: Doom scrolling?

814
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 3: And I was like, I was like, screy app but

815
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 3: it sounded like I mean again, I'm a nerd. It

816
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,800
Speaker 3: sounded I was like, is that like Ninja scroll? Like

817
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 3: the anime movie from back in the day. He was like,

818
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 3: am me now, I was like, okay, sorry, but it

819
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 3: was but he so what he explained was doom scrolling

820
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 3: is the act of basically like what you what you explained,

821
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 3: like you're in you're in your news app, or you know,

822
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 3: you ask you your nearest, AI, you know, machine, Alexa, Siri, whoever, like, oh,

823
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 3: tell me the news, because it's it's everything is so

824
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 3: out of our control. And just being able to at least,

825
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 3: you know, ask and ask your phone or ask your device, Hey,

826
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 3: can you tell me the news is somehow comforting because

827
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 3: it's something we can control. But then when we start

828
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 3: to actually read or it's we're told the news, we

829
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 3: consume the news. We are trying to gain more control

830
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 3: of our lives. But the problem is that, like I

831
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 3: said before, there are certain things that are factual in

832
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 3: the news. There are a lot of things in the

833
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 3: news that are factual, but there's a lot that there's

834
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 3: a lot of a lot of news stories that are

835
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 3: very speculative, like we think Biden might win, Oh, but

836
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 3: we think Trump might win. We might think that, and

837
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 3: it's and it's it's not doing us any good. I

838
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 3: understand that these news out lists need content, but it's

839
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 3: not doing us the public, any favors, because it's just

840
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 3: creating this This is creating this mood of like I

841
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 3: don't give a fuck, but then I'm mad, anxious all

842
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:10,919
Speaker 3: the time, it's like, you know, it's like, well, I'm

843
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 3: anxious because I don't know what's going to happen day

844
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 3: to day. But then at the same time, it's like, well, okay,

845
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 3: well what do you want to do? Like I don't

846
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 3: know what can I do? Like I can't go outside,

847
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 3: I can't go do hood ras shit with my friends.

848
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 3: I can't like, you know, like you do, like I

849
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 3: can't like I can't like be me. So to answer

850
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 3: your question from like five minutes ago, my bad. I

851
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 3: think what's been happening as far as let's you know,

852
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 3: let's use doom scrolling as an example. It's very similar

853
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 3: to what happened in the beginning of the pandemic with

854
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 3: the toilet paper, right, So why did everyone suddenly want

855
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 3: toilet paper? Why did everyone suddenly want bottled water? Like

856
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 3: it's not like, oh, we have a pandemic now the

857
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 3: water is the water is poisoned.

858
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 2: It's not poisoned.

859
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 3: It's just that we wanted to be able to have

860
00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 3: control of something when everything else was completely chaotic, like

861
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,839
Speaker 3: our world's turned upside down. I went from you know,

862
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:05,919
Speaker 3: being a work on a Friday and now I'm home

863
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 3: on a Monday. Like, oh, what am I supposed to

864
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,240
Speaker 3: do now? And that was really that was really scary

865
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 3: to a lot of us because we maintained schedules and

866
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 3: our mind our minds were maintaining routines that even if

867
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 3: the routines were annoying, like sitting in traffic or you know,

868
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 3: having to go to work and talk to your coworker

869
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 3: who you don't like, they were still things that your

870
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,239
Speaker 3: mind could count on. So humans are, first of all,

871
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 3: social creatures, and we're also creatures of habit. And when

872
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 3: you take away both, you're gonna have what we now have,

873
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 3: which is probably the largest global mental health crisis that

874
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 3: we've ever encountered. So if we're going to talk about,

875
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 3: you know, why do people feel this way? Even why

876
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 3: do I feel this way sometimes because again, we're used

877
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:59,720
Speaker 3: to habit and we're used to structure and it's gone.

878
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 2: It's gone.

879
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 3: Like we're trying to, you know, six seven months in,

880
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 3: I can honestly say that I have a better structure,

881
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 3: but it's still not what the what I'm used to

882
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 3: for the majority of my life. So we're kind of

883
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 3: just looking for things to you know, gain control over.

884
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 3: I think for you know, honestly, for people who are

885
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 3: anti mask wearers. Yes, it's silly to me as a physician,

886
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 3: like why would you not wear a mask? Like I

887
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 3: respect myself and even if you don't respect me, like

888
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 3: you should respect yourself and not want to get sick

889
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 3: potentially for me. But I think a lot of it

890
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 3: is that they're like, Okay, this is something I can control.

891
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:41,880
Speaker 3: I can control whether I want to wear my mask

892
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 3: or not, even though you know, maybe I'll get a

893
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 3: ticket depending on the town or the city, or you know,

894
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 3: maybe somebody will yell at me, you know, depending upon

895
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 3: the business they answer. But it's I mean, it's become,

896
00:43:56,360 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 3: unfortunately and overwhelmingly very political. But it just reminds me

897
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 3: a lot of like we have to hold toilet paper

898
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 3: and water because you know, what's like, what's going to happen.

899
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,800
Speaker 3: I'm like, I have no idea what was up with

900
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 3: the toilet paper thing. But I actually have like obsessive

901
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 3: compulsive personality disorder, so I have a habit of hoarding

902
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 3: cleaning products. Anyway, So I was actually pretty good.

903
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 2: You said, I do feel like the doomsdayers, the survivalists,

904
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 2: they really came out on top. Oh listen, but they

905
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,240
Speaker 2: were like second their can beans for months.

906
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 1: Yes, they're like I told you, and someone like my

907
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 1: mom who's a nurse and who was like.

908
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 3: I've been told Johnald, washed and filthy and exactly like yeah, Dad.

909
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 3: I mean, as a physician, I've been around a lot

910
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 3: of sticky, you know, nasty kind of situations. But it

911
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:50,400
Speaker 3: really was until this pandemic that I was like, damn,

912
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 3: like people are nasty, like y'all like collectively, like y'all

913
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 3: do not washing hands like it used to be, you know,

914
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 3: like I would go out to the movies and then

915
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 3: you know, I you know, go use the bathroom and

916
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 3: go wash my hands in the in the restroom, and

917
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 3: then if there would always be like somebody in there

918
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:06,759
Speaker 3: who wouldn't and we would all be.

919
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 2: Like, oh, like she's nasty.

920
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 3: But you know it was because of you know, like

921
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 3: people like that are people who you know, oh, let

922
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 3: me drink after you, let me be all up in

923
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 3: your face.

924
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 2: I mean that's you know. Unfortunately, how you know some

925
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,439
Speaker 2: of us got sick. Well, let's talk about healthy ways

926
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 2: of coping. I mean you mentioned sort of like you

927
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 2: want to control something, so like, what are the things

928
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 2: we can do to bring back some sense of normalcy

929
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 2: and control in our lives when everything feels like it's

930
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 2: that shit crazy, right.

931
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 3: So I think the first thing to do is, and

932
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 3: this is kind of the harder, the hardest thing to do,

933
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 3: is to admit that your stress. Admit that you're anxious,

934
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 3: Admit you're depressed, Admit that you can't sleep, Admit to

935
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 3: yourself that you know, even though we've been in this

936
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 3: for a long time, we're now at the point where we're.

937
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 2: Quote unquote used to it.

938
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 3: We're not on like a fundamental level, but it's like, Okay,

939
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 3: today's Monday, I'm going to do this. I look at

940
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 3: my schedule, I'm going to do that. But it's not

941
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 3: an ideal situation. So admitting that you have an issue,

942
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 3: admitting that you are not comfortable, like things are not

943
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 3: right to the point where it might be interfering with

944
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 3: your day to day and interfering with your mental well

945
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 3: being is key. After that, I would think that the

946
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 3: best thing to do is for someone to talk to

947
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 3: someone they trust, because you'd be surprised, and I'm speaking

948
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 3: as somebody who has a history of depression and anxiety,

949
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 3: you'd be surprised or I was really surprised at how

950
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 3: helpful it was to get my feelings out of my body.

951
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,919
Speaker 3: And when you're dealing with depression and anxiety, a lot

952
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 3: of it is guilt driven. It's like, well, I don't

953
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 3: want to burden this person, you know, with my personal

954
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 3: issues because they're going through all this stuff too. And

955
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,439
Speaker 3: you know what, if that person is a real, real

956
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 3: friend to you and they really care about you and

957
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 3: love you, they'll listen to you and they'll you know,

958
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 3: kind of help you through it. And that person might

959
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 3: also be going through things and you could also serve

960
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 3: as an inspiration for that, you know, for your friend,

961
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 3: the loved one to be like you know what, like I,

962
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 3: you know, like, let's talk about this. I think the

963
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:23,280
Speaker 3: third thing to do is to really set a routine.

964
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 3: And Mandy, you and I spoke yesterday and I definitely

965
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 3: agreed with you at the time, Like I like routine

966
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:33,799
Speaker 3: versus schedule, Like a schedule sounds like, oh, this is

967
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 3: my class schedule for the day, Like these are things

968
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,439
Speaker 3: that like I have to do, but I don't really

969
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 3: want to do, Versus a routine, which is like oh,

970
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 3: I'm gonna wake up at this time because that's when

971
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:46,359
Speaker 3: I want to wake up or that's when I might

972
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 3: need to wake up. It's a routine to me, sounds

973
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 3: I mean it's semantics, but it sounds like it's more

974
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 3: it's something that I can control. It's more manageable, so

975
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 3: you know, depending upon you know the person, you know

976
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 3: lifestyle or what they need to do. I mean, I

977
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 3: remember in the beginning of the pandemic, I actually was

978
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 3: trying to schedule like cocktail hour during during the early evening,

979
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 3: like I can maybe not yeah, like maybe not even drinks,

980
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 3: but like cannopis like something like I was just like

981
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 3: I need something to just make my day feel like, oh,

982
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 3: look at this, We're having a good time, right, And

983
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 3: then I think, you know, the other thing that people

984
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:30,840
Speaker 3: really need to consider. And as terrible as this pandemic

985
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 3: has been for a lot of people, the one thing

986
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 3: that has really been great about it is that there

987
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 3: are actually it's actually easier to get hooked up with

988
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 3: mental health services because most mental health clinics aren't open,

989
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 3: but they do see patients or you know, or referrals

990
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 3: or clients via apps, via video chat, via telephone. Even so,

991
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:02,879
Speaker 3: it really has as at least in psychiatry and psychology

992
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 3: whereas telemedicine or telehealth was something that some of us

993
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 3: were into, Like now we all have to be into

994
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 3: it because if that's if we don't get used to it,

995
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 3: we don't get acclimated to it, we're not going to

996
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:18,720
Speaker 3: have patients. We're not going to be able to treat

997
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 3: people and have and help people feel better the way

998
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 3: that we need to right now. And you know, I

999
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 3: think the I think the last thing, and this is

1000
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 3: going to sound, you know, kind of obvious, like Captain obvious,

1001
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 3: but you know I tell people. I tell my patients like,

1002
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,839
Speaker 3: you know, if you if you don't have a pre

1003
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 3: existing medical condition that's preventing you from going outside, like

1004
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 3: go outside, Like go outside. Because I'm as an introvert,

1005
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 3: I love being in the house. I'll stay in the

1006
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,880
Speaker 3: house all day long. But when I finally am like okay,

1007
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 3: we got to go outside, I'm like, oh my god,

1008
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 3: it's so nice out here, Like look look at this,

1009
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 3: like look at these trees. Like I can feel the

1010
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 3: air now right now in La and in California, like

1011
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 3: the whole state's on fire, so that sometimes there's life.

1012
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe it don't bring you deeply.

1013
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 3: Out there, yeah, like yeah, I mean, I've been in

1014
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 3: the house for the past like four or five days,

1015
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 3: so I'm starting to feel a little bit antsy. But

1016
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 3: you know, I think exercise is important, Like you, like,

1017
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 3: we really need to find what we can do to

1018
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 3: increase our levels of serotonin in our brains so that

1019
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:24,800
Speaker 3: we don't end up dipping into depression anxiety, but unfortunately

1020
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 3: a lot of us have.

1021
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 2: It almost brings up another important point you mentioned, like

1022
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 2: guilt and shame, and I feel like there was this

1023
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 2: something that happened with the pandemic where people who were

1024
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 2: at home. It wasn't just like let's go outside. It's like, oh,

1025
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 2: I'm gonna this is one I'm going to train for

1026
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 2: a marathon or I'm going to learn how I'm going

1027
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 2: to start the triathline. I always wanted to do myself personally.

1028
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 2: I got a peloton and I'm now it's something that

1029
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,240
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, why am I not on the peloton?

1030
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 2: Why do I not have a hundred rides yet? And

1031
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,919
Speaker 2: it's almost like, you know, you can take these little

1032
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:55,759
Speaker 2: things that maybe make you feel better, but then that

1033
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 2: becomes the stick that you beat yourself with a little

1034
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 2: bit when it comes to like guilt and shame. How

1035
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 2: do we like talk, How can we just give ourselves

1036
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 2: a break for not going so over the top of

1037
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 2: this extra time that we perceive that we have. And

1038
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 2: you know, like there's this idea that you can win

1039
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 2: quarantine by learning a new hobby or a language. Why

1040
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 2: are we doing that to ourselves?

1041
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 3: We're doing that to ourselves because we were so go,

1042
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 3: go go before the shutdown. So I remember distinctly, I'd

1043
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 3: wake up, I'd go work out at six am, I

1044
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,520
Speaker 3: come home, help my son with his line and make

1045
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:35,239
Speaker 3: him breakfast, take him to school, come back home, run

1046
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:38,400
Speaker 3: four miles, check my schedule. Seem you know, like I

1047
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 3: was like the amount of things I was cramming into

1048
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 3: a day was absurd.

1049
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 2: It was absurd.

1050
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 3: And it wasn't until you know, I was as we

1051
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 3: all were forced to take a step back that I

1052
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 3: was like, why are you doing this? Like like, are

1053
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 3: you gonna win something at the end?

1054
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 2: Like no.

1055
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 3: So once I was able to slow down, it really

1056
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 3: afforded me the opportunity. I mean, it was hard, but

1057
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 3: once I was able to slow down, I was able

1058
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 3: to really just take stock of you know, like what

1059
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,280
Speaker 3: do you want, Like, what do you want out of life,

1060
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 3: not out of Wednesday, not out of this job, Like

1061
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 3: what do you want? And I was like, honestly, I'm like,

1062
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 3: I'm I've been grinding since two thousand. I had a

1063
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 3: med school two thousand. I'm like a bitch is tired.

1064
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 3: I'm tired. I'm tired, you know, Like I still want to,

1065
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 3: you know, see patients and make a difference, but you know,

1066
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 3: I don't need to, you know, start training for the

1067
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:36,879
Speaker 3: for you know, a bodybuilding competition or whatever, like these

1068
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:40,359
Speaker 3: goals I had beforehand. It's it again, is is that

1069
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 3: it's that desire to have control of your life, but

1070
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:50,399
Speaker 3: by distracting yourselves. So there were a lot of things

1071
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 3: that I was doing to just distract myself because I

1072
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 3: had to realize that.

1073
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 2: I wasn't happy.

1074
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 3: And when I was able to do all of that

1075
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:02,319
Speaker 3: those things during the day and just pack my day

1076
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 3: with stuff, did I feel better?

1077
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:06,240
Speaker 2: Maybe?

1078
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 3: Superficially, like did I feel like I'd accomplished something?

1079
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 2: Yes?

1080
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 3: And I think I equated accomplishing whatever it was quote unquote.

1081
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:20,839
Speaker 2: With feeling good about myself. And once that, once this

1082
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 2: pandemic pulled the rug out from under us, we were

1083
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 2: searching for things to do, Like like I saw some

1084
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 2: meme on Instagram that was going around like if you

1085
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 2: don't come out of this pandemic with the skill, then

1086
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 2: you wasted your time. I'm like, first of all, don't

1087
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:35,800
Speaker 2: tell me what to do. Okay.

1088
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 3: That's that's number one. Number two is Number two is

1089
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:45,959
Speaker 3: everybody should be allowed and everybody is allowed to live

1090
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 3: their own life as they see fit. And you know,

1091
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 3: do I do I want to learn how to knit?

1092
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 3: Do I want to learn how to you know, do needle?

1093
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 3: Point of course I do, But this may not be

1094
00:53:56,840 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 3: the right time because I'm not able to. I don't

1095
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 3: have Like honestly, we're at a point where we don't

1096
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 3: know what's gonna happen tomorrow, like like I legit don't

1097
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:11,439
Speaker 3: know Whereas before the shutdown, like you know, people would

1098
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:14,799
Speaker 3: say metaphorically like, well, you know, tomorrow's not promised, so

1099
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 3: live for today, and you would feel it on like

1100
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 3: a certain level. But now I feel it and I

1101
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 3: know that on a cellular level, like I do not

1102
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:24,360
Speaker 3: know what's gonna happen tomorrow. I don't I don't know

1103
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 3: what's gonna happen politically, I don't know what's gonna happen,

1104
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 3: you know, news wise, I don't know what's gonna happen

1105
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 3: regarding COVID, Like you know, are we due for the

1106
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:36,280
Speaker 3: killer locust swarm that you know we should be experienced?

1107
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 2: What's the point of it? All about it? Like ry

1108
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 2: this is I'm like playing Devil's advocate, but this is

1109
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,279
Speaker 2: like a small part of me inside my brain that

1110
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,400
Speaker 2: I'm constantly trying to talk down off the ledge is

1111
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 2: like what's the point in saving? Why don't you just

1112
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 2: blow your money now? Like I mean on what really?

1113
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 2: But you know, I feel like financially people are and

1114
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 2: you and I talked about this too, like the sense

1115
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,239
Speaker 2: of the structure that you have with your budget, Like

1116
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 2: even something as simple as a household budget seems to

1117
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:05,720
Speaker 2: feel so silly or like doesn't really compute with today's world.

1118
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 2: So how can you adjust? Like mentally, how you look

1119
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 2: at your finances and your financial planning. So much of

1120
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 2: that has to do with the future, which none of

1121
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 2: us can predict right now. A lot of it, like

1122
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 2: when we were talking before, a lot of for me,

1123
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,800
Speaker 2: budgeting is very tied into my self worth because budgeting

1124
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 2: involves money and I have you know, we're in a capitalistic.

1125
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 2: We're in a capitalist society, so I have oftentimes equated

1126
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 2: more money equals you know, better better self worth, which

1127
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 2: is really terrible in hindsight for me to have even

1128
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:44,120
Speaker 2: thought that, But that's really what we're taught, right I

1129
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:46,640
Speaker 2: would say that. I'm sorry I asked me that question

1130
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 2: again because I totally forgot you are so much like me.

1131
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:55,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, doctor money, are we like, uh no, yesterday.

1132
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 3: I'm like this, like I'll be like yeah, and then

1133
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:01,280
Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, what.

1134
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:02,879
Speaker 2: The future in the future, how do we like make

1135
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 2: focial decisions today when it's so hard for us to

1136
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,280
Speaker 2: like remind Like Wanda, we were talking, Tiffany imagines herself

1137
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 2: in the future as Wanda, and everything she does is

1138
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 2: for Wanda, so Wanda can be happy. And you mean,

1139
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 2: like low Wanda, Like, I got you.

1140
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,319
Speaker 1: Right, because Wanda sounded like a fasty old lady lad.

1141
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 1: Because I just see Wanda custody.

1142
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm.

1143
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 3: I mean, I've always, I've always I've always contended my

1144
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 3: spirit animal. Yes, because honestly, I mean, and that's that's

1145
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 3: kind of a good point to make right now. Shannane

1146
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 3: was is I'm guessing she's still alive in our consciousness.

1147
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 3: Snana is a small business owner. She does very well

1148
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:46,479
Speaker 3: with her salon. She has support, she had key Lo

1149
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:49,759
Speaker 3: Loo and her other friend and every you know, and

1150
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 3: she every.

1151
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:52,279
Speaker 2: So often she got to, you know, have fun. But

1152
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:54,240
Speaker 2: for the most part, Shannana was a hard worker.

1153
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:56,920
Speaker 3: So I think, you know, if I imagine myself as Bartin's

1154
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:01,799
Speaker 3: character or Laura's character on Shanne like that actually, I

1155
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 3: mean real talk, that honestly is probably what I'm gonna

1156
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 3: do when I get off this phone call, because I

1157
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 3: do need to like work on my budget. But I

1158
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 3: think that that's a good thing to do. Like what

1159
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 3: like imagining yourself as Wanda, Yes it's you. Yes, I mean,

1160
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 3: we're kind of used to in this day and age

1161
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 3: with social media, imagining ourselves as an avatar. But there's

1162
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 3: something in psychiatry psychology that we call like like when

1163
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 3: you when I'm talking to somebody, let's say, who's experiencing

1164
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 3: depression or has in the past, and I will sometimes

1165
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 3: ask questions to determine if their goal oriented or future oriented.

1166
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 3: Right A lot of us are not goal or future

1167
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 3: oriented right now because we don't know what's gonna happen

1168
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 3: from day to day, but if we can kind of

1169
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 3: imagine ourselves not as our Oh I'm gonna be my

1170
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 3: best self. I'm run this marathon. I'm gonna have like

1171
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 3: a thousand rides on peloton this month. Like it's not that,

1172
00:57:56,600 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 3: it's not it's not like goal oriented, like I hit

1173
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 3: this goal. It's more so needs to be about imagining

1174
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 3: yourself in a happy place despite what's going on. Because

1175
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 3: we are we're in a new normal. It's not going

1176
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 3: to be the same way as it was before.

1177
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 2: It's it isn't.

1178
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,640
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know anybody personally who would feel

1179
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 3: comfortable walking around without a mask, like in the airport,

1180
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 3: in a restaurant, and you know, like anything like that.

1181
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 3: So I think it is. I think it's good to

1182
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 3: focus on what do I like. I want to be

1183
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 3: someone who is at peace. I want to be someone

1184
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 3: who definitely feels confident. And when it comes to budgeting,

1185
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:39,520
Speaker 3: I know that I was having a hard time last

1186
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 3: month because I actually was starting to slip back into

1187
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 3: having some anxiety and depression. And so I was telling

1188
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 3: Mandy this yesterday. I was like, you know, I like

1189
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 3: there were some bills that they were like, Amie, are

1190
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 3: you gonna pay these bills or like what's up because

1191
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 3: you usually.

1192
00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 2: Do and now you're not.

1193
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 3: And it was because I was just so cloudy with

1194
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 3: my thoughts, because some of my depressed, my depression and

1195
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:06,360
Speaker 3: anxiety symptoms came back. And honestly, I would say over

1196
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 3: the past two weeks, cause I had my medication adjusted,

1197
00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 3: like I had it increased, I have been more go

1198
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 3: with the flow, like water off a duct's back. But

1199
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 3: I was, I mean seriously, like stressing in bed, like damn,

1200
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 3: you didn't pay your AT and T cell phone bill,

1201
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 3: Like look at you, like like you like you really

1202
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:25,040
Speaker 3: fucking up right now?

1203
00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 2: And it's not that serious. It's not.

1204
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,919
Speaker 3: It's just that I needed to get to a better

1205
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 3: place where I felt better. So I think that when

1206
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 3: it comes to budgeting, it's it's important, but I'm going

1207
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:38,960
Speaker 3: to have to change my budget to reflect the fact

1208
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 3: that like I don't go nowhere, I don't have to

1209
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 3: I don't have to include my restaurant the restaurant portion

1210
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,160
Speaker 3: of my budget where that I would usually use. Now

1211
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 3: I will say this last month, when I wasn't feeling

1212
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 3: that great, I was I was like, oh, nobody's on

1213
00:59:55,200 --> 01:00:00,080
Speaker 3: Postmates word okay, like and then it's like, oh, well,

1214
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 3: that's going to cover it up. But then I ended

1215
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 3: up like feeling bad about it later because I was like,

1216
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:05,640
Speaker 3: you don't need to do that. So I think we

1217
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 3: need to really look at the at a budget or

1218
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:15,680
Speaker 3: this this new normal budget as things that we need,

1219
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 3: not necessarily to feel happy and great, because I bought

1220
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 3: a lot of dumb shit and I'm like, where are

1221
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 3: you gonna go with them? Sneakers nowhere? Like you don't

1222
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:26,920
Speaker 3: need these things. But I think we really need to

1223
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,439
Speaker 3: just just look at, you know, how can we make

1224
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 3: things easier for us? How can you know, do we

1225
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,840
Speaker 3: need to outsource certain things? Does our budget allow for that?

1226
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 3: Because it wasn't really until like maybe last year that

1227
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,040
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I really need to like outsource

1228
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 3: these things, like there are things that I can afford

1229
01:00:44,640 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 3: to outsource, or you know, there were even things that

1230
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:49,560
Speaker 3: I would barter for other with other people with for

1231
01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 3: other people with So you know, I think we need

1232
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 3: to get to a point, or people hopefully can get

1233
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 3: to a point where they feel they feel better about themselves,

1234
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 3: and that really you might involve someone talking to a

1235
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 3: mental health therapist or a mental health clinician or a psychiatrist, psychologists,

1236
01:01:06,560 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 3: what have you, but also talking about like what are

1237
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:13,080
Speaker 3: the things that make me me? What are the and

1238
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 3: maybe what are the negative coping strategies that I was

1239
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 3: using before the pandemic, before COVID that I've carried with

1240
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 3: me into this pandemic.

1241
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 2: Snacks, Yes, I was just looking all of that in

1242
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 2: to have you've been quiet? What are you thinking over there?

1243
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 1: I've just been thinking that, Like one of the what

1244
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 1: I love, well, I guess if there is any bright

1245
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 1: side to all of this darkness is how comfortable people

1246
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 1: have gotten talking about therapy and suggesting therapy to each other.

1247
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 1: And when I mean people, I mean black folks. That

1248
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:55,520
Speaker 1: never was a thing. It was agree you better pray.

1249
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 1: No one talked about therapy, and it's just become like

1250
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 1: I just said it's someone the other day. I was like, yeah,

1251
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 1: well you know I have you considered therapy? They're like yeah, yeah,

1252
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:07,240
Speaker 1: even like my churchy friends, which is like, I mean,

1253
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:09,680
Speaker 1: you know, that was never a thing. Like I have

1254
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 1: a super churchy friend and she was like, oh, I

1255
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:14,760
Speaker 1: talk to my therapists today, so great. And I just thought,

1256
01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: you know, if there is a bright side it's the

1257
01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 1: fact that people are understanding that you need help and

1258
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 1: that going to therapy is not a replacement for God

1259
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 1: in prayer, and that they can work and tandem together.

1260
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 2: Thank you, you know.

1261
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 1: And I'm loving because people like, you know, like Sarah

1262
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 1: Jake's Robert, she says that all the time, which I

1263
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:37,120
Speaker 1: love because so many people look up to her Tdjke's

1264
01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 1: daughter and so yeah, So I guess I was just

1265
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:42,400
Speaker 1: thinking about that because quite honestly, I've been dragging my feet.

1266
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 2: I've been needing a therapist.

1267
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:46,840
Speaker 1: I want a black woman for the longest, just to

1268
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:50,320
Speaker 1: there are what I do. I have several companies that

1269
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,520
Speaker 1: I want. It could be really stressful and sometimes I

1270
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 1: won't even know that I'm stressed until I'm like, yeah,

1271
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 1: so what's the last time you slept fully? You know,

1272
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:01,520
Speaker 1: So just having a place to because I'm like the

1273
01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:03,479
Speaker 1: go to for everyone, there's literally times when I feel

1274
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:08,320
Speaker 1: like I'm everyone's pulling a finger a toe. Oh yes,

1275
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 1: I'm just like like what people are Like I text you,

1276
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, I had fifty unread text.

1277
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:12,960
Speaker 2: Text is a new email?

1278
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,840
Speaker 1: I mean? So yeah, So, I mean I just think

1279
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 1: that if if anything else, it just is like tifn A,

1280
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:21,080
Speaker 1: you ate to find a therapist. I don't know why

1281
01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 1: I've been dragging my feet. I guess I'm just like, ugh,

1282
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 1: I don't feel like interviewing people and figuring out the

1283
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:28,320
Speaker 1: right person, and how am I going to make time

1284
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 1: for them? I don't even have time for myself. True,

1285
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,440
Speaker 1: But then you know, it's funny. There was something there.

1286
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 1: There was like this work.

1287
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 3: It was like busy work that I had to complete

1288
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 3: for my job, and I finally got around to like

1289
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:41,280
Speaker 3: finishing it today and I was like, it's gonna say

1290
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,040
Speaker 3: so long and I don't feel like doing it. It

1291
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 3: literally was data entry like this. It was not a

1292
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:49,040
Speaker 3: big deal. And then today when I was doing it

1293
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 3: now that like, I'm not you know, my motivation is

1294
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 3: better because I'm not depressed. I was like, eman, you

1295
01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 3: could have been done that, but I didn't get on

1296
01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:58,080
Speaker 3: myself about it. I was like, you know what, we're

1297
01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 3: going to use this as, you know, a learning point,

1298
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:04,640
Speaker 3: Like you didn't do it before because you weren't feeling

1299
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 3: right and you got some help and now you feel

1300
01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:11,720
Speaker 3: better and that's okay, so I will. But something that

1301
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:14,160
Speaker 3: you said just now reminds me of the fact that

1302
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 3: a lot of people and I think, especially like I'm

1303
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:21,200
Speaker 3: Generation X because I'm I'm almost forty five. So but

1304
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:25,040
Speaker 3: Generation X, the baby boomers, they always get on millennials

1305
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:27,200
Speaker 3: and Gen Z like oh, you are so lazy, and

1306
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:28,919
Speaker 3: you and your cell phones and this, that and the third.

1307
01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 3: But honestly, I think, not think. I definitely know just

1308
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:38,240
Speaker 3: by following social media trends and whatnot, that if it

1309
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:42,760
Speaker 3: weren't for the black millennials, we would not be talking

1310
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:45,959
Speaker 3: about therapy like it's nothing like oh yeah, like because

1311
01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:48,240
Speaker 3: they'll legit be like, oh I got a therapist, I

1312
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 3: got an individual therapist, I got a group therapist. Then

1313
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 3: I have a therapist that I check in with like

1314
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 3: every two months. Like they're very pro therapy. And as

1315
01:04:57,920 --> 01:05:02,080
Speaker 3: much as they were maligned, and I guess for being

1316
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 3: like the quote unquote adderall generation, they are really taking

1317
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:09,120
Speaker 3: up the charge to.

1318
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 2: Just make it very normal. And I really appreciate that.

1319
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:18,600
Speaker 1: Well, you're welcome, man, Thank you millennial. And I'm I'm

1320
01:05:18,640 --> 01:05:20,920
Speaker 1: generating next as well. I'm forty doctor mine, so I'm

1321
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:24,280
Speaker 1: Generation lm X as well. So Mandy's are local millennial.

1322
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,160
Speaker 1: I'm most like, what did the millennials say, even though

1323
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:28,760
Speaker 1: sometimes Mandy's like an old lady, I'm like, girl, get

1324
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:30,600
Speaker 1: with it.

1325
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:38,960
Speaker 2: I'm a layered and complex individual like everyone else. I

1326
01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:41,960
Speaker 2: guess it's just like, don't feel it's it's the it's

1327
01:05:42,040 --> 01:05:44,760
Speaker 2: the negative thought spiral, which is and this is for

1328
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 2: me and food, because listen, my coping mechanism is food,

1329
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:51,320
Speaker 2: and I am really appalled at how much weight I've

1330
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:54,440
Speaker 2: put on in this pandemic. But it's almost like the

1331
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:57,160
Speaker 2: shame of the eating habits that have plagued me for

1332
01:05:57,240 --> 01:06:00,120
Speaker 2: my entire life stops me from doing the things that

1333
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 2: I know I can do to make me yourself feel better,

1334
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 2: and then I feel bad, so then I just layer

1335
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:08,160
Speaker 2: it on with more food. And it's this like self

1336
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:12,240
Speaker 2: fulfilling negative prophecy that man, I'm just like, and I

1337
01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:14,800
Speaker 2: start beating myself up because I'm like Jesus Christ, like,

1338
01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 2: you're thirty something years old, shouldn't you be over this

1339
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:21,080
Speaker 2: by now? This isn't cute, but again that we're just

1340
01:06:21,240 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 2: we're so hard on ourselves, and I this conversation right

1341
01:06:24,520 --> 01:06:26,800
Speaker 2: now is just reminding me like we just as much

1342
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:28,919
Speaker 2: as as much as I say it, I know intellectually

1343
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,800
Speaker 2: I need to be nicer to myself and just like

1344
01:06:31,480 --> 01:06:35,440
Speaker 2: one day after the next. But it's it's really hard

1345
01:06:35,600 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 2: to be a human today, a black human, a woman, human, age, location, whatever,

1346
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:45,919
Speaker 2: just a human in your specific part of the world.

1347
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:49,240
Speaker 3: Well, it's interesting that you mentioned like like you're trying

1348
01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:56,080
Speaker 3: to intellectualize your your desire to want to make yourself

1349
01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:59,200
Speaker 3: feel better by eating, right, So not that I mean

1350
01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:01,320
Speaker 3: I'm using an eating disorder as an example.

1351
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:03,280
Speaker 2: I'm not saying you have eating disorder, but yeah, but

1352
01:07:03,280 --> 01:07:04,600
Speaker 2: probably go ahead.

1353
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 3: But when people are when people let's say, have binge

1354
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:13,640
Speaker 3: eating disorder or even anorexia nervosa or bulimia where they

1355
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:17,360
Speaker 3: binge and then they purge. I used to actually work

1356
01:07:17,400 --> 01:07:22,280
Speaker 3: at a hospital, an inpatient hospital, with patients who had

1357
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:24,920
Speaker 3: really really severe eating disorders, and the one thing that

1358
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 3: they all told me, whether they were binging, they're binging

1359
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:31,040
Speaker 3: food or restricting their food or purging their food, is

1360
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:37,600
Speaker 3: that they would get high from the maladaptive behavior. So

1361
01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:40,840
Speaker 3: anorexics get high when they're not like when I guess

1362
01:07:40,880 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 3: when they're blood sugar drops. I don't know, because I'm

1363
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:45,680
Speaker 3: not innarexic, but they do feel this state of euphoria,

1364
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:48,439
Speaker 3: and it's kind of similar when you know, I would

1365
01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:51,919
Speaker 3: say most of us, myself included, have gained weight during

1366
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 3: this pandemic because it's like like last month, I was like,

1367
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,920
Speaker 3: donuts are amazing, and that's really it. So I'd like six,

1368
01:07:57,360 --> 01:07:59,040
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna eat them every day. I'm gonna eat

1369
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:03,200
Speaker 3: at six donuts every day and that's that because it

1370
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:08,520
Speaker 3: is boosting your serotonin in your brain and that's making

1371
01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 3: you feel better, but temporarily, and then the guilt and

1372
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:16,400
Speaker 3: the shame sets in. So it's interesting that you know, you,

1373
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:20,920
Speaker 3: even me, we like we're creatures that we can human

1374
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:24,679
Speaker 3: beings are are creatures that can, you know, intellectualize anything.

1375
01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:27,200
Speaker 3: So it's like, oh, well, why do I keep doing this?

1376
01:08:27,240 --> 01:08:29,320
Speaker 3: I've been doing this since I was a kid. It's

1377
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:32,200
Speaker 3: not something that you can really, it's not something that

1378
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:34,240
Speaker 3: you woke up one day and decided to do. It's

1379
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:38,439
Speaker 3: something that your brain decided, well, is your serotonin low,

1380
01:08:38,560 --> 01:08:40,800
Speaker 3: then let's eat everything and then and then we'll feel

1381
01:08:40,840 --> 01:08:44,880
Speaker 3: better for maybe like thirty minutes. So again, like what

1382
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 3: you just said in terms of you know, we need

1383
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:49,759
Speaker 3: to stop beating beating each other up so much.

1384
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:51,599
Speaker 2: It's that's really what it is.

1385
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:55,400
Speaker 3: And I know it's easier said than done, but I've

1386
01:08:55,479 --> 01:09:00,240
Speaker 3: really been trying to on the daily, like just think

1387
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:02,880
Speaker 3: about things like you know what, like, oh, you had

1388
01:09:02,920 --> 01:09:05,519
Speaker 3: to pay that parking ticket. You know what, it happens

1389
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:07,559
Speaker 3: pay the parking ticket, like whereas before I would just

1390
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:09,639
Speaker 3: look at it and then just get mad and then

1391
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:12,280
Speaker 3: I flip it over and then you know, I'm like

1392
01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:14,320
Speaker 3: a day before I'm gonna get you know, I have

1393
01:09:14,439 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 3: to owe the city double. Like There's so many things

1394
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:22,280
Speaker 3: that I have personally guilted myself over that completely make

1395
01:09:22,360 --> 01:09:25,559
Speaker 3: no sense, but that was a function of me having

1396
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:27,280
Speaker 3: symptoms of mental illness.

1397
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:31,320
Speaker 2: I feel like we could keep talking and talking and

1398
01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:35,759
Speaker 2: talking talk Doctor Money. It's been really amazing you having

1399
01:09:36,040 --> 01:09:38,680
Speaker 2: amazing you. It's been so amazing having you on the

1400
01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:42,760
Speaker 2: show today. I just it's amazing you both. Thank you,

1401
01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:48,439
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. Where can people find out more

1402
01:09:48,479 --> 01:09:51,920
Speaker 2: about you and what you have going on? Now? Okay? Sure,

1403
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:53,360
Speaker 2: So I'm doctor Imani.

1404
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:58,519
Speaker 3: I have all social media pretty much, but I would

1405
01:09:58,520 --> 01:10:01,439
Speaker 3: say the place that i'm mo active as Instagram. So

1406
01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:04,880
Speaker 3: I can be found on Instagram at doctor d O

1407
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:10,000
Speaker 3: C T O R dot Imani. I also have a

1408
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:13,400
Speaker 3: website of the same name. It's but it's doctor Hyphenemani

1409
01:10:13,439 --> 01:10:16,400
Speaker 3: dot com. People can find me on YouTube. Just search

1410
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 3: for my name again, it's doctor the word spelled out Imani.

1411
01:10:20,040 --> 01:10:24,000
Speaker 3: And I have a podcast which is called Imani State

1412
01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:28,200
Speaker 3: of Mind, and it's pretty much everywhere there are streaming

1413
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:31,680
Speaker 3: there's a streaming podcast platform. Imani State of Mind is

1414
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:35,720
Speaker 3: essentially me and one of my best friends and we

1415
01:10:35,760 --> 01:10:40,000
Speaker 3: talk about mental health and mental illness and wellness, but

1416
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:43,919
Speaker 3: we talk about it in a very casual, pop culture

1417
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:48,920
Speaker 3: based situation, so it's it's not it's not it's not

1418
01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:52,320
Speaker 3: a sad podcast. Like we're definitely giggling the whole time

1419
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:55,840
Speaker 3: and just like just acting silly. But you know, I'm

1420
01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:58,400
Speaker 3: someone who that's my personality. I'm just kind of goofy

1421
01:10:58,439 --> 01:11:00,479
Speaker 3: by nature, and that's how I am with my and

1422
01:11:00,520 --> 01:11:03,360
Speaker 3: my friends, and so I wanted to at least show

1423
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 3: people that mental health doesn't have to be dour and

1424
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:09,439
Speaker 3: sad and scary. It actually can be a lot of fun.

1425
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:12,880
Speaker 3: So that's that's really kind of like my baby, So

1426
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:15,960
Speaker 3: that's why I spent so much time explaining that. But

1427
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:19,960
Speaker 3: but yeah, you mind, State of mind, YouTube, Instagram, my website.

1428
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 3: I guess if you want to see me, you could

1429
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:27,000
Speaker 3: always go to Bravo dot com. Sorry, BravoTV dot com.

1430
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:29,120
Speaker 3: I'm one of the cast members of Married to Medicine

1431
01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:33,880
Speaker 3: Los Angeles. Yeah, and I think I pretty much exhausted

1432
01:11:33,880 --> 01:11:36,120
Speaker 3: all of my oh my avenues.

1433
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:38,880
Speaker 2: What's your address?

1434
01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:39,360
Speaker 1: I know?

1435
01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:44,200
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, So I'm just kidding. Well, thank you so

1436
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:47,160
Speaker 2: so much. This was illuminating. I mean, I feel like

1437
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:49,760
Speaker 2: if every therapist was like you, people would not be

1438
01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:52,799
Speaker 2: afraid to go to therapy. Yeah, that's so nice.

1439
01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:55,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm an open book because I'm like, I mean,

1440
01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:57,920
Speaker 3: the patients that I see, I have clients, so because

1441
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:01,360
Speaker 3: people are going to ask us the I'm sorry, would

1442
01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:03,080
Speaker 3: you say? I said, people are going to ask us, Yeah,

1443
01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:06,559
Speaker 3: how can I get an appointment with doctor Amani? So okay,

1444
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:10,599
Speaker 3: I have been I have been considering reopening my private

1445
01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:13,800
Speaker 3: practice because that actually has been occurring more. But the

1446
01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:17,200
Speaker 3: patients that I see are actually their referrals through the

1447
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:21,759
Speaker 3: hospital I work for, So I would I would say,

1448
01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:24,000
Speaker 3: probably the best way to get in a quote unquote

1449
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:26,000
Speaker 3: appointment with me is to listen to my podcast.

1450
01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:28,920
Speaker 2: It's really good y'all listen to the most recent when

1451
01:12:28,960 --> 01:12:31,040
Speaker 2: the New Normal, and it felt like your friend on

1452
01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:33,160
Speaker 2: the other end of it was like everybody else just like,

1453
01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:35,280
Speaker 2: don't tell me it's the new normal. I refuse to

1454
01:12:35,280 --> 01:12:38,880
Speaker 2: believe it. Yeah, Cam as well, but yeah, we have

1455
01:12:39,040 --> 01:12:42,200
Speaker 2: we have a really good time. But yeah, I just

1456
01:12:42,240 --> 01:12:44,840
Speaker 2: wanted to have somebody on my podcast that would be

1457
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:48,439
Speaker 2: the common person as opposed to me who you know,

1458
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:51,160
Speaker 2: if if, if, you you know, keeps talking to me,

1459
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:53,479
Speaker 2: I'm going to start sounding like, you know, a professor,

1460
01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:56,719
Speaker 2: and I don't want to do that. You went to Xavier.

1461
01:12:57,280 --> 01:13:05,320
Speaker 2: True true the doctor fact true true true. All right, well,

1462
01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:09,400
Speaker 2: y'all go check out Dr hamone everywhere, and thank you again,

1463
01:13:09,520 --> 01:13:12,519
Speaker 2: Drmany for coming on Brown Ambition. Of course, thank you.

1464
01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,479
Speaker 2: This was super fun. I'm glad I got to meet

1465
01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:15,040
Speaker 2: you guys.