1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,120
Speaker 1: Hi everyone, It's Wheezy from the Horrible Decisions podcast. I

2
00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,280
Speaker 1: wanted to tell you guys what I'm doing to celebrate

3
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,360
Speaker 1: my Valentine's Day. I'm going to Joey Beauty Bar. It's

4
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,920
Speaker 1: an event they're doing called Galantine's Day. No men allowed. Sorry,

5
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,560
Speaker 1: if you want to come and you know, try to

6
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,760
Speaker 1: get something happened. It's only for the ladies, but it's

7
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,360
Speaker 1: basically going to be an event where they're going to

8
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,000
Speaker 1: be having a bunch of beauty services going on for you.

9
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,400
Speaker 1: Wine female owned pop ups. Um, there's gonna be like

10
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,600
Speaker 1: a braid bar. They do some really amazing events. I

11
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 1: love coming out there, so you should definitely check it out.

12
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,880
Speaker 1: It's in the East Village. Um. I'm also going to

13
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,839
Speaker 1: be giving some dating advice. Honestly, I don't know how

14
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,920
Speaker 1: well it'll go. I would just say sex advice is

15
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 1: pretty much what I could give you. But if you

16
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,680
Speaker 1: want to have some fun with me, it's gonna be

17
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,320
Speaker 1: going down after worktime six to nine on February thirt

18
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,519
Speaker 1: the day before Valentine's Day, So if you actually have

19
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,320
Speaker 1: a bow, you can have time for that. It's at

20
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,800
Speaker 1: East First Street in New York in the East Village. Um,

21
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,400
Speaker 1: you can take the f Train or Bleaker Street to

22
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,520
Speaker 1: get there. Um. I can't wait to see you guys,

23
00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:04,880
Speaker 1: and let's have some fun. Hi guys, UM, I guess

24
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,480
Speaker 1: this is this is kind of odd. This is a

25
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,480
Speaker 1: different dynamic. Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I'm

26
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,399
Speaker 1: your girl, Mandy be and we have a special co

27
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:20,960
Speaker 1: hot hey host today a horrible host. Hello, hey, Um.

28
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,680
Speaker 1: We have Michelle Hope Um in place of Weezy for

29
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,000
Speaker 1: this episode. Weezy is out of town. Y'all know she'd

30
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,880
Speaker 1: beat that and bopping or whatever. So we have Michelle

31
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,479
Speaker 1: and you guys absolutely loved her on our last episode.

32
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,000
Speaker 1: And for the month of February, what me and Weezy

33
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,640
Speaker 1: decided to do is bring on couples. It only makes sense.

34
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,240
Speaker 1: It's the month of love. Why the funk not? So

35
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,720
Speaker 1: we have a wonderful couple UM in the building with

36
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,560
Speaker 1: us today. I wanted to go ahead and maybe catch

37
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,800
Speaker 1: up with Michelle because she's been fucking rocking since she

38
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,720
Speaker 1: came onto our last show. So do you want to

39
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,480
Speaker 1: update our listeners and what's been up with you? I

40
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:58,160
Speaker 1: mean absolutely, I've been grinding it out, so I have

41
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,480
Speaker 1: a book for young women dropping February twenty. You guys

42
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,640
Speaker 1: can go on Amazon and check it out. It's called

43
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,760
Speaker 1: A Girl's Guide to Sex Education, and it's like over

44
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:11,720
Speaker 1: a hundred honest answers to like the burning questions of teens.

45
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,000
Speaker 1: Could you add, like, what are a couple of the questions? Well,

46
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,040
Speaker 1: I mean it kind of goes through everything. I'm so

47
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,480
Speaker 1: mad at I forgot to bring you one, but um,

48
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,959
Speaker 1: it goes through everything from puberty to hygiene. Like one

49
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,080
Speaker 1: of the questions was why do I have dimples and

50
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,040
Speaker 1: on my butt and thighs? And my response was, welcome

51
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:32,840
Speaker 1: to womanhood, honey. It's and we have to have it

52
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 1: right right as women. I think that we are bombarded

53
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,400
Speaker 1: with images of you know, touched up girls, touched up women,

54
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:45,000
Speaker 1: even if you're curvy and lovely or thin, and um,

55
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,320
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of curves, but you know,

56
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,960
Speaker 1: I still have satellite and that's a very normal, natural

57
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,560
Speaker 1: part of being a woman, and it's important to our

58
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,160
Speaker 1: ability to reproduce. So I really the book is really

59
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,920
Speaker 1: designed just to be a conversation starter. Parents. If you're

60
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,600
Speaker 1: going to buy it, you need to read it first.

61
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,840
Speaker 1: Because the book was intended to give young people a

62
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,520
Speaker 1: language that they can take to their trusted, knowledgeable adults

63
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,000
Speaker 1: and ask deeper questions. Right, Like, I love that I

64
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 1: have become some type of youth guru when it comes

65
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:19,680
Speaker 1: to sex, but without having children, mind you. Um, but

66
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,840
Speaker 1: I think that what it's really about is giving people

67
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:28,440
Speaker 1: a language and a normalcy to these kinds of conversations that,

68
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,799
Speaker 1: especially in our community, we often I don't want to

69
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:35,240
Speaker 1: talk about it talks about virginity loss and getting married

70
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,400
Speaker 1: even so it kind of covers a lot of stuff.

71
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,680
Speaker 1: So that is coming up. And then also, like I

72
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:47,200
Speaker 1: mentioned to you the um dj MV February nine, I

73
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,120
Speaker 1: actually let Michelle know I will be on the building.

74
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,600
Speaker 1: I'll just be coming back from l A. So Jesus Christ,

75
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,360
Speaker 1: don't get on me if I look a hot mess,

76
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,480
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna be. I love you, thank you. But

77
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:02,360
Speaker 1: um yeah, this is um Speaker production, um G and Casey.

78
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,600
Speaker 1: They have and Casey, Gia and Envy Casey have a

79
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,680
Speaker 1: great show. Um and they have Michelle as a fucking guest,

80
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,440
Speaker 1: so it can't be anything but awesome. I think that

81
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,360
Speaker 1: how they discussed their relationship on their podcast is amazing

82
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,080
Speaker 1: and I'm sure that you have such great things. Yeah,

83
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,960
Speaker 1: I mean, this isn't the first time I've worked with them.

84
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,279
Speaker 1: I'm excited because one, it's the night before my book

85
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,359
Speaker 1: drops too, it's right after Valentine's Day three. You know,

86
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:30,320
Speaker 1: they have three daughters, so like, and they work in

87
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,640
Speaker 1: hip hop and the industry, and you know, there's a

88
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,719
Speaker 1: lot to unpack their being minorities and working in entertainment.

89
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,799
Speaker 1: I mean, look what's going on with the Me Too movement,

90
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,200
Speaker 1: and so there's gonna be a lot we're gonna unpack.

91
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,440
Speaker 1: And I really hope that, you know, podcasts like the

92
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,360
Speaker 1: one we're doing right now and podcasts like that continue

93
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:51,400
Speaker 1: to lead us to deepen our discussion right not only

94
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:57,160
Speaker 1: in our communities, but also our neighborhoods and even more importantly,

95
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,200
Speaker 1: our own dinner tables. So we can start unpack being

96
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:05,039
Speaker 1: some of this mist this this mysticism around sex and

97
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,240
Speaker 1: sexuality and kind of reclaim that in what works for us.

98
00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,320
Speaker 1: But let's talk about marriage. Well, it's so funny because

99
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,360
Speaker 1: I wanted to get into everything you just said. I

100
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,760
Speaker 1: the last time you was here, Wheezy went on her

101
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,520
Speaker 1: a little um woke rants and I actually have one

102
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,279
Speaker 1: today and I want to share kind of my distaste.

103
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,400
Speaker 1: So I was invited to the So Shameless podcast UM

104
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:30,839
Speaker 1: with Tahoe, who at that point I considered a friend. UM.

105
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,120
Speaker 1: And after listening back to the episode, like my heart

106
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,440
Speaker 1: beat beating fast right now, just talking about it, UM,

107
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:42,960
Speaker 1: the conversation was about body image and UM specifically he's

108
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,320
Speaker 1: fat shamed a lot with his podcast with Cutty, and

109
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:50,120
Speaker 1: so the conversation had me and Larris. Larris is a

110
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,320
Speaker 1: plus size model who one Project Runway, and as we

111
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,000
Speaker 1: were talking, there were just some things that as a friend,

112
00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,200
Speaker 1: I one felt uncomfortable. I think it's very important that

113
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,040
Speaker 1: when men and women share a friendship that there's that

114
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,560
Speaker 1: level of respect that remains there. And so as we're

115
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,960
Speaker 1: talking about body image, and as I'm talking about how

116
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:14,040
Speaker 1: curve your women are objectified and sexualized at even at

117
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,040
Speaker 1: a very young age, I had hips and bud and

118
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,839
Speaker 1: thighs and older men would look at me because those

119
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,360
Speaker 1: were woman parts to have, you know what I mean.

120
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:26,080
Speaker 1: And so as I'm explaining this, he decides to bring

121
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 1: up my sexual assault that happened on the train. UM.

122
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,120
Speaker 1: For I'm not going to get into that, but basically

123
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,920
Speaker 1: I was riding the train home from work, and as

124
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,880
Speaker 1: anyone who lives in New York knows, rush hour, the

125
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,039
Speaker 1: trains get packed and a guy unzipped his pants and

126
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,760
Speaker 1: had his dick on me. So Taho knew that this

127
00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:45,760
Speaker 1: happened to me. He brought it up as a segue

128
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,640
Speaker 1: into pretty much saying that the podcast that we do

129
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,360
Speaker 1: here me talking about sex, me being open about my sexuality,

130
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:57,480
Speaker 1: pretty much saying that I should expect this behavior from men.

131
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,800
Speaker 1: And I tried to sit here and say, listen, that

132
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,760
Speaker 1: man probably had no idea I had a fucking podcast,

133
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,840
Speaker 1: And to sit here know that men are out here

134
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,080
Speaker 1: thinking that because women like you, or women like me

135
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:12,800
Speaker 1: or Wheezy should expect a certain behavior from men. It really, really,

136
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:17,160
Speaker 1: really really like I I cried on the podcast. As

137
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,720
Speaker 1: y'all know, I probably don't show many emotions when it

138
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,560
Speaker 1: comes to myself. Actually I really don't. You know, I'm

139
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:26,720
Speaker 1: not very emotional period, And for me to cry and

140
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,640
Speaker 1: for him not to understand where I was coming from

141
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,000
Speaker 1: really really really put me in a place. And so

142
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,160
Speaker 1: I posted my thoughts about this online and I want

143
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,800
Speaker 1: to read a comment. Y'all know we'll be reading on

144
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,320
Speaker 1: motherfucking comments. So I'm gonna bring a comment that I

145
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,120
Speaker 1: posted onto the Horrible Decisions page. This is a listener

146
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:47,560
Speaker 1: who wrote under Tahoe's UM page. He said, at full

147
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,480
Speaker 1: Court Pumps, I'm going to have to be honest with you.

148
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,360
Speaker 1: Let me start by saying, I love you and Wheezy

149
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,040
Speaker 1: and listen to your show weekly. You didn't deserve to

150
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,480
Speaker 1: have some creek treat you like that. On the train. However,

151
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,400
Speaker 1: you and Weazy talk about doing how ship and having

152
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,000
Speaker 1: rape fantasies and all other kinds of crazy ship that

153
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,120
Speaker 1: is wild to most people. I understand why Tahoe would

154
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,800
Speaker 1: think and say what he said. He apologized to you

155
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,840
Speaker 1: on air as well as in here, and it's like

156
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,000
Speaker 1: you want to kill dude for having a quick thought

157
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:23,560
Speaker 1: or opinion. You have to relax, ma. Once again, this

158
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:27,520
Speaker 1: is a grown man pretty much sitting here saying I

159
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,440
Speaker 1: like your show. It's cool and all, but listen, Tahoe

160
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,679
Speaker 1: was right, you do need to expect this from men.

161
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:38,800
Speaker 1: And throwing that however or that button there just kind

162
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,160
Speaker 1: of like really really really really really irked me. Um.

163
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,240
Speaker 1: And it's something that I feel like a lot of

164
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,720
Speaker 1: our women listeners and we have a lot of male listeners.

165
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,120
Speaker 1: UM will get into our guests and how we even met.

166
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:56,000
Speaker 1: But to know that men think that because I discuss kinks,

167
00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:00,120
Speaker 1: or because sex and you're a sexpert UM or been

168
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,160
Speaker 1: a woman with curves, that we should expect this behavior

169
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,640
Speaker 1: for men, it's it's really disgusting. And my advice to

170
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,720
Speaker 1: this was it needs to start in the home. I

171
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,400
Speaker 1: think a lot of our young boys are young guys

172
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,200
Speaker 1: are not being taught that there are certain things that

173
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,280
Speaker 1: you should not do. UM. There's a certain level of

174
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,600
Speaker 1: respect you have to have for all women, not just

175
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,040
Speaker 1: your mom, not just your sister, but any woman that

176
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,680
Speaker 1: you meet, even in public. And I know that you

177
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,560
Speaker 1: talked to talk with us about young children, And I

178
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:29,520
Speaker 1: mean again, I think that this definitely does have to

179
00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:32,480
Speaker 1: start in the home, but it starts way before that,

180
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:36,240
Speaker 1: Like we're talking about a cultural shift. So that's one too.

181
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,360
Speaker 1: And in first and foremost, I want to apologize one

182
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,200
Speaker 1: for your experience on the train, UM, and two that

183
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,800
Speaker 1: you were re victimized in a public space because what

184
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:52,240
Speaker 1: that person doesn't realize they did one is deeply rooted

185
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,520
Speaker 1: in the very rape culture we are all trying to

186
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,680
Speaker 1: fight with shows like this. If you're not aware, rape

187
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:03,720
Speaker 1: culture is a society that has normalized um, sexual assault

188
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:08,760
Speaker 1: or victim blaming on women, and and and that is

189
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:13,240
Speaker 1: to shame them and call um what happened to them

190
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,720
Speaker 1: their own faults because of their behavior. Okay, that is wrong,

191
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:26,040
Speaker 1: um one two. Victim blaming is also um devaluing your experience.

192
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,920
Speaker 1: And and as a friend, you kind of just don't

193
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,880
Speaker 1: expect to hear that from a friend. It's like, Okay,

194
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,680
Speaker 1: maybe you're talking about it, but to literally sit here

195
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,439
Speaker 1: in segue from my sexual assault to my podcast and

196
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,640
Speaker 1: what I do, I just felt like this is really

197
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,320
Speaker 1: how you feel. You really feel like I deserved this

198
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,520
Speaker 1: in a way, or that I should just expect this

199
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,760
Speaker 1: in my day to day life. And it's just it's, well,

200
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,720
Speaker 1: the thing is here is now I'm gonna shift. And

201
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,920
Speaker 1: and as frustrated as I'd like to be with the

202
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,400
Speaker 1: individual that did that to you, I have to be

203
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,320
Speaker 1: angry at society because I don't know how old that

204
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,679
Speaker 1: person is. Okay, so for forty two years of that

205
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:11,120
Speaker 1: person's life, we have normalized locker room talk and normalized

206
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:15,600
Speaker 1: slut shaming and and and and um, you know, the

207
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:19,160
Speaker 1: virgin and the slut like the Madonna whore complex, and

208
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:23,840
Speaker 1: and women of color especially have been marginalized sexually, and

209
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,600
Speaker 1: that which we don't have time for. And I won't

210
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:32,199
Speaker 1: get into roots back into you know, a slavery mentality,

211
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,600
Speaker 1: um and and and even you know this Me Too

212
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:39,000
Speaker 1: movement and the feminist movement of the seventies, there was

213
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,120
Speaker 1: often a missing voice, and that was the voice of

214
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,880
Speaker 1: women of color. Um. So, I think that this is

215
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,520
Speaker 1: where right now we're in a sexually revolutionary time, and

216
00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:50,560
Speaker 1: we don't even realize we're in the middle of history

217
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:54,400
Speaker 1: right now. Fifty years from now, this is what's going

218
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,199
Speaker 1: to be talked about in the books, that how one

219
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,160
Speaker 1: of color stood up not only for the ejectification of

220
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,080
Speaker 1: their bodies, but just the response from other Black men

221
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,640
Speaker 1: were already torn down by you know, so many different

222
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,520
Speaker 1: other cultures. And to know that a black man who's

223
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,640
Speaker 1: supposed to stand next to his black queen and uplift

224
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:14,160
Speaker 1: her would sit here and pretty much blame her, was like, look,

225
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,200
Speaker 1: but society has taught him that. So I would say

226
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:23,400
Speaker 1: to him, Um, do what tax Stone did. Tax Stone

227
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,199
Speaker 1: invited me on his podcast to help break down what

228
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,880
Speaker 1: rape culture really was. Now that's a that's an O

229
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:34,800
Speaker 1: G thug okay, beloved tax free tax zone. The fact

230
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:38,640
Speaker 1: that he even took the time to engage in that

231
00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:42,200
Speaker 1: type of dialogue, which is speaks volume well, which is

232
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,040
Speaker 1: what I believe Taho tried to do. UM. But there's

233
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,760
Speaker 1: a difference when you really want to listen to somebody

234
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,120
Speaker 1: and learn from them, And there's a difference from when

235
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,400
Speaker 1: you want to say things for a shock value, or

236
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,880
Speaker 1: say things to let me know that you're not really listening,

237
00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:00,839
Speaker 1: or to invite me onto your platform warm and pretty

238
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,400
Speaker 1: much degrade me. For the entire two hours. I listened

239
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,520
Speaker 1: back and it was just very hurtful to listen to. Um.

240
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,720
Speaker 1: You guys are in the podcast round the Couple that

241
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 1: we have here, and so I'm sure you guys um

242
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,200
Speaker 1: too key to it and listen. UM. If you guys

243
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,440
Speaker 1: have any thoughts share, you can share now before we

244
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:22,280
Speaker 1: get into introducing y'all. Yeah, let the woman go first.

245
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,720
Speaker 1: Thank you. UM. I did listen, and I know me

246
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,640
Speaker 1: and you spoke kind of briefly about it, and I

247
00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,760
Speaker 1: was just saying that I was I was hurt for you,

248
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,520
Speaker 1: and you know, I felt like if I was in

249
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,720
Speaker 1: that situation, I would have been truly frustrated embarrassed in

250
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,920
Speaker 1: some ways because and that's and that's the worst feeling

251
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,959
Speaker 1: in the world. Sometimes it's like to feel like you're

252
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,360
Speaker 1: going on to someplace to help educate and you end

253
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,960
Speaker 1: up made to feel like you are um like again

254
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,240
Speaker 1: the at fault for things that happened to you. And

255
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,960
Speaker 1: that's the first thing I thought of when the whole

256
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,000
Speaker 1: correlation between your show and what happened to you was made,

257
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,719
Speaker 1: was you know how you don't even know if he

258
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,160
Speaker 1: listened like he he's just a power of He's just

259
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,680
Speaker 1: a creep who did that to you? And one these

260
00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,280
Speaker 1: things do not one doesn't get the other. It's just

261
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:12,040
Speaker 1: because you speak on sexuality, or you are more sexually

262
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:15,720
Speaker 1: open or than um and vocal about it than most

263
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,360
Speaker 1: people are, that does not therefore warrant somebody treating it

264
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,400
Speaker 1: that way ever life, and I think all of our listeners,

265
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:26,000
Speaker 1: anyone who likes to wear little dresses, any woman who's

266
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,760
Speaker 1: out here with curves or has a big butt or

267
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,760
Speaker 1: has you know, I have triple D breasts like your cleavage.

268
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 1: None of this, you know, makes it to where you

269
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,840
Speaker 1: should expect a certain behavior from someone UM, and it's

270
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,600
Speaker 1: never I think the bottom line is understanding that people

271
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:44,800
Speaker 1: who have experienced sexual harassment or sexual assault it's never

272
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,720
Speaker 1: their fault. It doesn't matter what you've done. And as somebody,

273
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,160
Speaker 1: I am an advocate of UM women who have experienced

274
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 1: sexual assault, I myself have experienced sexual assault, and it

275
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,000
Speaker 1: does not matter what the situation is. No means no

276
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,520
Speaker 1: and UM at the end. And I think to to

277
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,600
Speaker 1: that point, we as women, we have to understand I

278
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:10,640
Speaker 1: don't give a ship if you as foot naked pussy out,

279
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,480
Speaker 1: I'm going to do a double backhand spring triple cow

280
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 1: sal on the dick in mid air. If you change

281
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,040
Speaker 1: your mind, you have that fucking right. There you go.

282
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,120
Speaker 1: And men, we have to get to a point that

283
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,480
Speaker 1: you understand that your erect dick is not a speeding

284
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:31,120
Speaker 1: fucking bullet train. Hello, and it can stop. And if

285
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,840
Speaker 1: a woman says no, or a woman isn't saying anything

286
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,200
Speaker 1: at all, y'all gotta check in, y'all gotta check out.

287
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,640
Speaker 1: Like at the end of the day, it's about communicating.

288
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:45,200
Speaker 1: And I hope to empower women to understand you have

289
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 1: the right to say no at any point with any partner,

290
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 1: your husband, your lover, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, if you

291
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,000
Speaker 1: go to a sex kink party, it does not matter.

292
00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:00,560
Speaker 1: Your body is your body, your voice is your choice,

293
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:08,480
Speaker 1: so please speak. Yeah, you're great, You're great. So again, guys, UM,

294
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:12,160
Speaker 1: I'm super excited about this episode. And so this is

295
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:16,600
Speaker 1: a very special couple. UM. I guess we can kind

296
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,760
Speaker 1: of mention how we met. This is one of the

297
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,520
Speaker 1: couples that we met at the Brilliant Idiots Live show. Um,

298
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,000
Speaker 1: and if I recall, let you know, I actually met

299
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,600
Speaker 1: about three or four couples that night, so I want

300
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:31,720
Speaker 1: to recall t J listen first Horrible Decisions. So this

301
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,440
Speaker 1: is so funny. This is at the end of the

302
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 1: Brilliant Idiots Live Show and this couple walks up to

303
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:41,240
Speaker 1: me and Danny was like, my husband wants to take

304
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,440
Speaker 1: a picture with you. He says he listens to your podcast,

305
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,360
Speaker 1: and t J was like, I love everything you do.

306
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get my wife to listen. And shortly after that,

307
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 1: I believe he made you a listener. We've been talking

308
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,680
Speaker 1: ever since. I exchange numbers and I love everything that

309
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,360
Speaker 1: you guys do. They actually do have their own podcast

310
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,960
Speaker 1: as well, Lover's Coral and do you want to explain

311
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 1: maybe to our listeners what you guys do, and then

312
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,000
Speaker 1: I want to talk about how why y'all are so special? Okay,

313
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,480
Speaker 1: So as far as Lover's Quarrel or everything everything, okay,

314
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,080
Speaker 1: well you know, um, well I'll start with the podcast.

315
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,720
Speaker 1: We have a show called Lover's Quarrel. Um. We come

316
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 1: out you would say, bi weekly um um, and we

317
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,520
Speaker 1: basically talk marriage relationships sometimes what's going on in the

318
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,160
Speaker 1: world and how that that impacts marriage relationships. We actually

319
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,199
Speaker 1: had kind of a conversation about the Me Too movement

320
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,359
Speaker 1: and you know, um, expectations of men and women and

321
00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:35,200
Speaker 1: when it comes to uh, sexual interactions of any type,

322
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:40,320
Speaker 1: and um, we yeah, we just we talk about what

323
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,639
Speaker 1: goes on in our lives. We kind of, um have

324
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,639
Speaker 1: a quarrel where we he and I sometimes even though

325
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,600
Speaker 1: we've been together for a long time, we definitely don't

326
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,720
Speaker 1: see ada and everything. Um. But that's relationships and and

327
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 1: that's what happens. But uh, with creating a podcast that

328
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,520
Speaker 1: allowed us to spend time together and kind of learn

329
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,680
Speaker 1: to learn each other all over again, you know, see

330
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 1: each other's points and and build from there. So originally

331
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 1: when we had it um. It was called to be determined.

332
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:15,200
Speaker 1: We started much better. It makes sense. We rebranded and

333
00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:17,920
Speaker 1: wanted to have a family, so we had our daughter,

334
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 1: so we stopped, and then when we came back, we

335
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 1: decided that who was going to change the name and

336
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,760
Speaker 1: change the dynamic? You know, at first we were trying

337
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 1: to do what everyone was doing, right, no one's talking

338
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 1: about pop culture whatever. But it was like, let's let's

339
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 1: get back to who we are. Let's talk about our relationship.

340
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 1: You know, Um, we've been together, what going okay? Well? Right,

341
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,359
Speaker 1: she's like I wanted to say that. That's why we

342
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 1: brought this couple on for this specific episode. We talked

343
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 1: a lot about non monogamy on this show, and this

344
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 1: couple right here has actually only been with each other.

345
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:55,720
Speaker 1: They're high schooling, um, And so we actually wanted to

346
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 1: do an episode where we can cater to our monogamous

347
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,919
Speaker 1: viewers because although me and we be out here about

348
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 1: that ship, you know what I mean, um, and don't

349
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,640
Speaker 1: believe in monogamy. I wanted to definitely cater to our listeners, like, well, bitch,

350
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,439
Speaker 1: I ain't let my niggafunk know about it, you know,

351
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,199
Speaker 1: nobody else. So I definitely wanted to get into that.

352
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,600
Speaker 1: So what we like to do for every show before

353
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 1: we kick it off is doing kink of the week.

354
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 1: I'd look, she read, oh god, did you bring something?

355
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,360
Speaker 1: Oh Lord, Michelle, y'all know she's having her little bag,

356
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 1: and so I'm gonna go ahead and explain it. So

357
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 1: the kink of the week for this week is called sounding.

358
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: Do either of you guys know what sounding is? Okay?

359
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: It makes sense for the man to know what it is.

360
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: So sounding is also known as cock stuffing. This is

361
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 1: the practice of inserting something into the urethra. I didn't know, honestly,

362
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 1: when I read this, I was like, wait, men can

363
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 1: stick things inside their peakle Like, yes, it's besides like

364
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 1: the little like I was about to call it a

365
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 1: pats in here, but like you know, when I go

366
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:06,199
Speaker 1: to the doctor, and so the process it usually is

367
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 1: done in like um, when people get their urethra, like

368
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,680
Speaker 1: if they need something cleared from the urethra. So it's

369
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 1: a small metal rod, or it could be a plastic

370
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 1: tube that could reach all the way to the bladder

371
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 1: and for people grabbing my arm for some people, for

372
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 1: some people, um, this can also you can reach the

373
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 1: prostate from the front, so you can penetrate what what

374
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 1: you would consider to be the unpenetrable. So right, yeah,

375
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 1: So it says that also note that it is you

376
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 1: need necessary equipment, um, and you can buy kids online.

377
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,440
Speaker 1: You can buy them online. It says that you don't

378
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,959
Speaker 1: need much experience, but basically it's something that you can

379
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 1: look at. Our mail in here is just shaking his

380
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: mother like his head. Um. It says that you don't

381
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 1: need to have the full kit or even a full

382
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 1: sound to start plugs. Well, let's go back upommend um.

383
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 1: I mean, this is definitely a very kink space, right

384
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 1: but for me, because you know me, I always got

385
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 1: to bring a bit learning your sampson. Um. What we

386
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 1: really need to focus on is the risk, because there

387
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:24,200
Speaker 1: are absolutely so so studies have been done to look

388
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 1: at the type of people who are into this behavior

389
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 1: and what type of sexual risk that they have. So

390
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 1: studies have found that people who do who are into

391
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: this kink tend to have higher risk factors of s

392
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 1: t I s UM, including HIV. They tend to have

393
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 1: multiple partners, some of which they may or may not know.

394
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 1: They tend to have partners they don't know often times

395
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 1: associated with the kink, specifically the type of kink like

396
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 1: finding somebody who's going to put a catheter in you

397
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 1: or is going to put a rod in you. It

398
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 1: tends to be people who are also very kinky. Which

399
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 1: now I'm not saying that people in the kink space

400
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: are at higher risk. However, you have to understand that

401
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 1: the more partners you have, the higher your risk is,

402
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 1: even if you're being careful. And with this specific kink,

403
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 1: I'm not yeah, not well, honey, we hadn't even got

404
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: into scat play, so what about blood letting? Okay, not

405
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: to day, they saying that for another day. But the

406
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 1: biggest thing that you're going to kind of put yourself

407
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:40,640
Speaker 1: at risk worse urinary tractor sections because if you don't

408
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 1: have sterile equipment or you know, let's face it, sometimes

409
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,399
Speaker 1: your vibrator sleeps under your pillow and you can't just

410
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: be sticking rose and your penis that ain't sterile. You're

411
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,360
Speaker 1: gonna need a lot of loop. And the same for women, right,

412
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 1: I know women can with you can those lead to

413
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 1: us absolutely, but also I want to be honest, most

414
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: of the literature looks at men when it comes to

415
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 1: this king. However, when it comes to sounding, it can

416
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: be done with women. It's just not as popular, right,

417
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 1: So I think the idea is really the the idea

418
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: of like, how like opening your the that hole it's

419
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 1: also known as it's spelled m E A t U

420
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: S medias, that's the little hole, that's what that's called.

421
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: But when you don't have anyone that's done this, but

422
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: if you get a Prince Albert, if you know anybody

423
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: that has a Prince Albert, that is very similar because

424
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: the Prince Albert, it's where you pierced the penis. Ah,

425
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 1: my friend was that had like it goes inside though

426
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 1: it usually goes in the media's and is pierced that way,

427
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 1: so it hangs it wouldn't you wouldn't cross sect about

428
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 1: the balls that haven't Like she was sucking someone that

429
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: had piercings, but they were like balls inside his dick.

430
00:23:54,320 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: Oh that's different. Yeah, it's like that's a little different.

431
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 1: That's not sounding because that's just gonna go under the skin.

432
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: The Prince Albert actually goes into the media and you

433
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 1: pierce that way. But again, those of you who are

434
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 1: into that, super cool. That's I'm all for it for

435
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 1: you if you like it. I love it. I a't

436
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 1: been a yucky yum. But please be sure you're being

437
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 1: safe if you have multiple partners, make sure you're getting

438
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: tested regularly. Please and understand that if you're not concerned

439
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: about HIV or S t I S, a urinary tract

440
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: infection might be come in your way. Just because that's

441
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,880
Speaker 1: a urinary tract infection is like back to a lot

442
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 1: of men who don't even normally get that. As women,

443
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 1: we can get it very easily, and basically it's really awful.

444
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 1: You pretty much feel like you have to and it

445
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 1: burns and it's like then two drops come out. He's

446
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 1: not I would take a yeast infection before that. I

447
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 1: take b V because then I just smell fishy. So

448
00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:03,160
Speaker 1: it's just not problem of vagina diaries. So we're gonna

449
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 1: get finally into our horrible decision. And of course I

450
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 1: don't think it's horrible that you're monogamous, but this is

451
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: just you know the segment of the show. And so

452
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 1: for a lot of you that are listening, there's no

453
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: need for me to break up what monogamy is, um,

454
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 1: but I do want to talk about kind of your

455
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: relationship you guys met in high school. Yes, correct, And

456
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: you said earlier on the show, you guys have been

457
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: together for fourteen years. Yes, in years since were like,

458
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: you know, decided that we go together. Oh my goodness.

459
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 1: So I was kind of talking to Danny about this

460
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 1: because I was like, so, have you experienced cheating? And

461
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: I heard a no. So I'm like, wait, you guys

462
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: have literally only been because you guys lost each other's

463
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: virginity to each other, So you have only been with

464
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 1: each other for the last fourteen years? Correct? Now to me,

465
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 1: A wheezy. I don't mother see how y'all do it.

466
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 1: I don't see how it's possible, Like I genuinely and

467
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 1: you know, I started real early. I don't even know

468
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,919
Speaker 1: the nickname from now, like it's been some other like

469
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: a time. So I wanted to ask um kind of

470
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,479
Speaker 1: the dynamic of this relationship and how you feel like

471
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: you guys have been able to maintain monogamy throughout the

472
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: fourteen years. Well, for me, I'm gonna say that I

473
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: have an older brother of older cousins. I kind of

474
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 1: seen what they went through. I didn't want that. You

475
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: don't want it, I didn't want what was it like?

476
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: Trying to juggle different women, or just having issues with

477
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: their significant others so they messed with somebody else. Like

478
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 1: it was just those things that I've seen and I

479
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 1: was just like, yeah, I don't want to have to

480
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: deal with that. And then my parents they've been together

481
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: that's what twenty six years, so I also have that

482
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:58,880
Speaker 1: experiencing that. But with Danny, it was always clear that

483
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 1: if I was doing I can only do two things

484
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: that should leave me, and that's cheetah beat And you've

485
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: made that clear from the very beginning pretty much. Yeah,

486
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 1: I was like, those are my deal breakers. Everything else,

487
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, we could pretty much probably you know,

488
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 1: work through address something, but I don't what was your

489
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 1: upbringing that you were able to tell him, like, listen,

490
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,359
Speaker 1: this is what it is, and you know, because I

491
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: feel like we talked about this often. It has a

492
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: lot like I grew up in a single parent household,

493
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: and I've seen my mom and my dad both have

494
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: multiple partners growing up, So I feel like maybe that's

495
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 1: my mindset that this is normal. But for you to

496
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 1: see your parents together and then what was your bringing

497
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: to make this seem like? So so my parents, um,

498
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 1: my parents were married for twenty two something years before

499
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,639
Speaker 1: they got divorced and then so like they didn't separate

500
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: until I was in college. But um, I come from

501
00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: a family full of women who are strong, opinionated, intelligent, beautiful,

502
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: all these things, and so it was never about taking

503
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 1: it from a man ever. And like I have an

504
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: older sister as well, and you know, um, and my

505
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 1: sister's father and my mom didn't work out, and you know,

506
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 1: and my mom was a single mother with my sister

507
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: for up until my dad came along. And you know,

508
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: my mom definitely still had that mentality of like, you know,

509
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 1: you just you don't take shipped from anybody and you

510
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: don't tolerate disrespect or anything of the sort. So and

511
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: I was honestly like I was encouraged to like like

512
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 1: not less like like the have a kind of have

513
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: like the kink and that kink shame me either, But

514
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: just like they definitely encouraged me to like date, to

515
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 1: get out there because you go through your whole face, yes,

516
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: to go thy much. Yes, Because I saw him all

517
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 1: the time, I'm like, you took all my thought in years.

518
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: I was like, so we're here, We're in the stiff

519
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 1: forever I was like, you took my best years and um,

520
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: I know, but still, like you know, I would talking

521
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: about you. You can have a thought phase at anytime

522
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: your life. You're right, yere, absolutely right. The fact that

523
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: goes to that my whole like the dicidal norms that

524
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: kind of always have been were impressed the poem in

525
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: Palm Me. So basically though I um, oh god, I'm

526
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 1: losing my train of thought. But basically I come from

527
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 1: a family. But they encouraged me to date. I met him,

528
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 1: and you know, he was so different, Like I didn't

529
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: expect to date a guy who was like so very

530
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: sure about how he felt about me. I was like

531
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 1: like I was like, oh, it's my first little boyfriend whatever,

532
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: you know, get my little feet wet and in the

533
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: date in pool and he was like you're it, like

534
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: I'm good, and I was, And I mean there were

535
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: times where like it made me scared, Like I was like, sir,

536
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: you were very like we're seventeen, Like what are you

537
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 1: talking about? And but I kind of was just like

538
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna ride this thing to the

539
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: wheels fall off and see what happens. And like they

540
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: just haven't fallen off. Now for both of you, have

541
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: you guys, have either of you reached a point where

542
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: maybe you wanted to see what else was out there?

543
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 1: And if you guys did, kind of how did you

544
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 1: guys bring it back to this is who I want

545
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: to be with. I wouldn't say that I wanted to

546
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: see now, see with having the older brother and the

547
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: cousins get to hit the story, right, so you know

548
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: I can, You know I can so. But but for me, um,

549
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 1: one thing as I got older and you know, when

550
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 1: we got married, such we can other married people. One

551
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 1: thing is to always say is like, could you imagine

552
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: somebody else pleasuring pleasuring your significant other? Right? We talked

553
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: about pleasure. I'm better than you can and they said

554
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 1: if you can't, then there's no reason to like leave

555
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: or cheat or anything like that. So that's one of

556
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: the things that kind of stuck with me. I think

557
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 1: also too, we might be non monogamous, or that's what

558
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: you and Wheezy might subscribe to. You know, I don't

559
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,959
Speaker 1: even who knows I think that. For me, yeah, I

560
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: study human sexual behavior, right, but sometimes that doesn't involve

561
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: touching or set or set penis vagina penetration, sex at all,

562
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: you know sex And I've said this a billion times,

563
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 1: I'll say it again. Well, from the womb to the money,

564
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: sex is gonna be a part of your life. But

565
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 1: as we age and as we go through different spaces

566
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 1: in our life, that looks very different, and that looks

567
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: and we look for more and just yes, it becomes

568
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: different and you become turned on and you become intimately

569
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: satisfied in very different ways. So I think this is

570
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 1: I think it's so Honestly, I was on another radio

571
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: show and a guy just called in and he's like,

572
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: I'm getting married in a month and my wife and

573
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 1: I are virgins. And then you called me that day

574
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: and I want you to come on with these people. Yeah,

575
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: and it was like perfect, It's it's also something. So

576
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 1: I also wanted to talk about. UM. Me and Danny

577
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: had a conversation when I was talking about my my

578
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: surgery and you sent me a picture from my wedding day,

579
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: from her wedding day, and since the wedding day, Um,

580
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: she's put on weight as most women do with kids,

581
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: with stress, with life, with age, with love, with love,

582
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: and so um, just us, we we both talked about

583
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: just our body image and We've gotten a lot of

584
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 1: a lot of letters from men and women about shifting

585
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 1: with their body image and pleasing their partner or not

586
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: feeling as confident in the bedroom. Was that something that

587
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 1: you were able to notice and if so, how did

588
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: you guys talk through this? Um? When it came to

589
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: you know, just change Well, I'll say this so that

590
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: he can has to go ahead to say it's part.

591
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: I definitely had, like I would have like confidence issues

592
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 1: like as like you know, put on the weight and

593
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: you know, not feeling at um, not wanting to be

594
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 1: intimate as often because I have my own insecurities and

595
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 1: I don't like how things look on me. And then

596
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 1: you know, consequently he would end up kind of missing

597
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: out because of it. So I'll you know, I'll let

598
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: you go from there. It didn't matter. Like I've always

599
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: told that, you know, I'm gonna love you at your

600
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 1: big gets, at your smallest. It's just with her, so

601
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: you know, I mean you go through that. UM. I

602
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: think watching her pregnant definitely changed my mind looking at

603
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: all women and because seeing her body go through what

604
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 1: it what it went through, seeing her sacrifice that it

605
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: made me just say, like you know what, oh you

606
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: know there's other women out here. You know, we grew

607
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 1: up in society that everyone's supposed to be a certain way,

608
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 1: supposed to look a certain way, act a certain way. Um.

609
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 1: They're supposed to be like the most beautifulest with the

610
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 1: smallest body, and that's not how it really is. Um.

611
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: But seeing that, it was just like why, Like women

612
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: can do it all, Like they can literally do it all.

613
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: And and for me, the fact that she sacrificed her

614
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 1: body to make me a father, it was just like,

615
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: how whack of it would it be of me to

616
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 1: be like, I'm not attracted to you no more because

617
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 1: you gain weight, Like, you know, you gain weight. You know,

618
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: we'll get through it together at the end of the day.

619
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 1: But seeing that sacrifice made me made me realize that

620
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 1: it was bigger things than the body. So, I mean,

621
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 1: she's still who she is. Come over here with the

622
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 1: moji face coming out. So I am constantly on Twitter,

623
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 1: I'm constantly on social media, and I read a lot.

624
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 1: It seems like people think of monogamy as a relationship

625
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: where you kind of fight to know that that's who

626
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 1: loves you more than actually enjoying the relationship. And I

627
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 1: say that to say there's a lot of people. Um,

628
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: and there was actually just a female who wrote us

629
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,959
Speaker 1: about snooping and looking for things to make it look Look,

630
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 1: everybody in the room roll their eyes. But I think

631
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 1: it's a huge thing because when you're in a monogamous relationship,

632
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 1: you're not cheating. You're not supposed to be having other partners.

633
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 1: You're not you're not supposed to be doing all of

634
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 1: these things. And yet, because we grow up in this

635
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: society where we do, where people are cheating, people are

636
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,919
Speaker 1: having babies on each other, a lot of women feel

637
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 1: the need to snoop to try to find their man

638
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: and doing something wrong. Um, I guess I would like

639
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: for you to share with our listeners how you keep

640
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 1: from doing that or if you have what went through

641
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 1: your mind. Look t J, like, I want to know

642
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: if you if you ever done that? You know what?

643
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: I haven't? Like I really, I mean, and do you

644
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: have you had friends that have That's why when I

645
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 1: made that, that's because I've got plenty of friends who

646
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,320
Speaker 1: went through the Nika's phone and right and then you

647
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 1: know I get the text mess just like Danny, Oh

648
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: my god, and I was like, you know when you

649
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 1: go looking for something, you find it, you tend to

650
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 1: find it. And um, you've been with him for fourteen

651
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: years and you've never snooped like look at through his

652
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 1: like no passwords? Are you a good one? Like we

653
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: talked about it. For us, yes, and for me and

654
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: for me specific. I think that the reason why this

655
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 1: works and the reason why this came to be is

656
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 1: because I think, in my heart of hearts, I've just

657
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: never been one for the games and never been one

658
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: for the stress. I'm not a person who likes to argue.

659
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 1: I'm not a person who likes to be wrapped up

660
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: in drama. I don't thrive on it. So for whatever reason,

661
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: whoever you believe in, brought me and him together and

662
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 1: have us still together, it must be because that's what

663
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: I needed. And as far as snooping, I have no

664
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: reason to snoop because he doesn't give me one. He didn't.

665
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: There wasn't there's never been anything that unless he's the

666
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 1: best at at at hiding something, which but there's there's

667
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: never been a reason. And so he wears his heart

668
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 1: on his sleep, he tells everything, but he's a bad liar. Basically,

669
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 1: there's there's just never been a reason for me to

670
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 1: even think to be like, like, what's he doing? And

671
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: and then go from there. I think that's also probably

672
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: a reason why you guys have been able to stay

673
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,879
Speaker 1: together for so long. UM. I feel like when when

674
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: people get into relationships and they're looking for the bad things,

675
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 1: or they're stooping through the phone, the emails, you're searching

676
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 1: for something. So it's like, how happy are you? What?

677
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 1: What do you need from this partner to prove that

678
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 1: he loves you? Hold on you? You look like you

679
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: ready got something to say, she got something for ahead.

680
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 1: What you gotta say about the snooping topic? Okay, I

681
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 1: have a couple of things to say, So first and foremost, UM,

682
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 1: if you feel like you have to snoop, it's time

683
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 1: for you to get out of that relationship. That's one

684
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: UM two snooping and things like that. That is the

685
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: basis and start of unhealthy UM relationship, not not not trusting.

686
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: And I think that you have to reevaluate people that snoop.

687
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 1: I had a friend for a long time always got

688
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 1: in relationships that was drama films and even myself I

689
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,919
Speaker 1: have had to recently do some reflection on my experiences

690
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 1: in relationship and how abusive some of the relationships I've

691
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 1: been in, and maybe they didn't come with physical abuse,

692
00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 1: but it came with emotional abuse and things like snooping

693
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 1: is rooted in that kind of control and jealousy, all

694
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 1: of which would be on a power and control wheels

695
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 1: telling you your relationship is shitty or that weight not

696
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: not shitty, but probably not the healthiest. So I always say, first,

697
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 1: relationship starts with self, and you have to evaluate that,

698
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: and you also need to look at the history of

699
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: your relationships. I'm sitting with two people who had experience

700
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 1: with long term relationships and they they saw people role

701
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 1: modeling the behavior to get to a successful relationship. And then,

702
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 1: because you know I, I although I am a woman

703
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: of all things Um Corinthians thirteen four through eight. Love

704
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,279
Speaker 1: is patient, Love is kind, Love does not envy, Love

705
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: does not boast. Love is not proud. It does not

706
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 1: dishonor others. It is not self seeking, It is not

707
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does

708
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth. It always protects,

709
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: always trust, always hope, and always preserves. So how in

710
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 1: the world you're gonna tell somebody you love them, and

711
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 1: they go through their cell phone like that to me

712
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense. And then I think we have to

713
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: ask ourselves, well, hold on, boot Ski, how much do

714
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 1: you love yourself if you got a snoop on your partner?

715
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 1: And not mean that for both men and women. I've

716
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 1: never been a snooper and the one time I was

717
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 1: one time, and then again I was like, oh Lord,

718
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: don't let him snoop on me. So I mean, I'm

719
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,399
Speaker 1: not sitting here and saying right in the end, dollar

720
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: be all. But what you guys have, like we're looking

721
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 1: at and we and we always and we get that

722
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: and and we I always I appreciate it, but I

723
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: always I always try to impress upon people. It's like,

724
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: don't like ever put us on not to say, to

725
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: y'all are, but don't like people have tried to put

726
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 1: us on a pedestal about what we are, what they like,

727
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 1: Oh that's so great. I wish I could have that.

728
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 1: And we always like next like we've gone through it.

729
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 1: We've had we talked to some cross rooms before and

730
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 1: we were dating about how we want to proceed with

731
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,919
Speaker 1: each other. It's been tough. We've said hurtful, horrible things

732
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 1: to each other, you know, but we've come back to

733
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,359
Speaker 1: it and it's just like and I think you know nowadays, yeah,

734
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 1: we might be more like the exception than the rule,

735
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: but that's just this is just our I was gonna say,

736
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 1: I love this because if you asked me all niggas sheet,

737
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: I know, but you're sitting here telling me you haven't.

738
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,320
Speaker 1: You're sitting here telling me that you don't snoop. And

739
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: a lot of men would assume all women are stupers.

740
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: And so for me to sit here and see that

741
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: monogamy does work in two thousand and eighteen, this is

742
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 1: something to where you know, as as I said, we

743
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 1: talked about so many non monogamous relationships, polyamory, um, open relationships, swinging,

744
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: and we discussed so many of this. We we just

745
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: had a person come on here, UM who tie on me.

746
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 1: She talks about free love and and she literally you know,

747
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 1: went into saying um, and her partner said that there's

748
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: no love above any other love, that we can love

749
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: all the same. And to me, you guys, when in

750
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 1: front of the Lord went in front of someone and

751
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 1: about to be together, UM, and so clearly this this

752
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 1: bond right here, and the love that you guys have

753
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: for each other are different than the love that y'all

754
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: may have for a friends at home girl. You know,

755
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 1: Danny was different Um in the sense that she allowed

756
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: me to be myself. I never had to change who

757
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 1: I was. I never had to worry about it. It

758
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 1: was never like I had to say, I'm lying to

759
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: go out with chill my friends because she didn't like

760
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 1: my friends. She knew who my friends were, and she

761
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 1: knew that my friends, some of them were were dogs.

762
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 1: But she trusted me. You know, I'm allowed to go

763
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 1: to the strip club with her without her. So the

764
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: fact that she trust me, Like I went to Toronto

765
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 1: for UM and she had no issues and everybody was

766
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 1: just like, how did you pull that off? And it's

767
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: just like, this is our relationship like so many people have. Yeah,

768
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 1: I encourage go, said you can burn the streets which

769
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 1: out the happy waiting for you. Sorry I had so

770
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: I think it's I think what you're saying is so right,

771
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 1: And I think when people do get into these relationships,

772
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: it's a your mind. You can only do what I

773
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: want you to do. Don't do this, don't do that,

774
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:19,359
Speaker 1: red flag run and the one thing that I did

775
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,240
Speaker 1: like um about what Taomi mentioned was feeling the possessiveness

776
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: when you commit to you're looking at me cray, I

777
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 1: did because I don't. I don't think that if you're

778
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 1: gonna get into a relationship with someone you should feel

779
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: like they're your property. But the idea of saying when

780
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 1: you're in monogamous relationship possessiveness sounds crazy. I am a

781
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: person and I feel like both of you with the

782
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 1: either if you cheat or beat you out the door.

783
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 1: For me, I'm the type of person. Honey, you are

784
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: a beautiful bird in my life, and the cage door

785
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 1: is always open. This is a bird cage of love,

786
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 1: and when you don't feel that love, please fly free.

787
00:42:56,719 --> 00:43:00,839
Speaker 1: Like that maybe why I'm single. You know, I got

788
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: some repairs to do on the cage. But still I think,

789
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: like it's true, like possessiveness and relationships red flag for

790
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: an abusive relationship. I honestly think that we have been

791
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 1: indoctrinated to believe that we're in healthy relationships when really

792
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 1: we're in abusive relationships. Our society has truly normalized that

793
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 1: we attached jealousy, abuse, um, all of these things to

794
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: love it, and it's like, it's crazy because love should

795
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,959
Speaker 1: not mean he beating your ass. Love should not mean

796
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 1: you know that girl, Oh my god, he's talking to me.

797
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: Those those things shouldn't be associated with. But that's my

798
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 1: friend that I was started this whole thing with Jesus.

799
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 1: She said, girl, if there ain't no drama, it ain't

800
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: no love. I was like, what you And she always

801
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 1: has some drama. And what's super crazy about it is

802
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,279
Speaker 1: that her last relationship before the one that she's in

803
00:43:56,360 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: now escalated to a point where she most she kind

804
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: of arrested because he violated he had been beating her,

805
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 1: violated a restraining order, and he showed up somewhere and

806
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 1: she had a pistol and she shot at him, missed him,

807
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 1: and the judge lead it clear because he was like

808
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: he was a very large man. And I don't want

809
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 1: to give out any other details because it would tell

810
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: the story. But her she honestly felt like her life

811
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 1: was in danger and it was so they charges were

812
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 1: dropped on her. But still to have to feel like

813
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,839
Speaker 1: that's insane, Yes, And she had scared the person you love.

814
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 1: You should never be in fear of the person you love,

815
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 1: and you should never feel like, you know, like drama,

816
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: hard times, good times happened, but it should not be

817
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: the basis of your relationship. Something else that that you

818
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: said that really really resonated with me. Um you said

819
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: that you could be yourself and I and to me,

820
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 1: that's the number one thing, even when I'm around somebody

821
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 1: who you know may or may not become my boyfriend,

822
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: knowing that I can genuinely be myself. I was listening

823
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 1: to the read and they had um uh, quite a

824
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 1: listener letter that came on. Apparently the girl had been

825
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: a prostitute years before she got her sex. That was

826
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 1: her legit, that was that was her term she was.

827
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,000
Speaker 1: She was a sex worker prior to getting into this relationship.

828
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 1: And I believe they were about to get married. She

829
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: was about to she was about to marry somebody. She

830
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 1: kind of like put a bug in his here, like

831
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,360
Speaker 1: I have something to tell you, and now he's pressing

832
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 1: her and I want to get Now She's just like

833
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 1: is this something that I should tell him? Because is

834
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,480
Speaker 1: this something that he'll leave me for? And So when

835
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:43,280
Speaker 1: you sat here and said I could just be myself,

836
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: I feel like anybody who you want to engage with

837
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: or want to fulfill a relationship or love and and

838
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 1: be with someone for a long term. I think it's

839
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 1: important that they know who you are and what you've

840
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: done and the growth that you've been through and how

841
00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: you want to continue growth. What is your thought on

842
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you right now, I don't know

843
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: how long they've done been together. Didn't say in the

844
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 1: letter five years whatever, And the context of it was

845
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: that she was in an abusive relationship and her it

846
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 1: was a pump. He pimped her out. He was abusing

847
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,879
Speaker 1: her and forcing her to for money, to have sex,

848
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: for money, to um to fulfill her fault. Totally not

849
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:27,839
Speaker 1: her fault. However, I'm gonna say this, I'm honey, that's

850
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 1: not a bomb. You dropped five years after being with somebody,

851
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 1: and I'm not I'm not sleat shaming. I'm not victim

852
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 1: blaming because I've brokenhearted for the predicament that she is

853
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 1: in and to that. It is my hope that she

854
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:50,960
Speaker 1: has gone through some counseling because the layers of what

855
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: that is. I love you the read, but let's face it,

856
00:46:55,640 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 1: she needs professionals, and it would like, I don't know

857
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 1: what's going to happen with her story, but it would

858
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:07,879
Speaker 1: break my heart if he left her. However, and that's

859
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:09,800
Speaker 1: what they encouraged. They said, like, if you haven't already

860
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:13,320
Speaker 1: gotten help or on your own, they were like, you should,

861
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 1: and then like or if your fiance obviously has to

862
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 1: grapple with this bomb being dropped, that they can seek

863
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: counseling together as we work through it. So it's they

864
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: need both because I think it's important for a lot

865
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 1: of men to know. Um, of course there's a lot

866
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:32,919
Speaker 1: of slut shaming going on the whole fucking conversation about

867
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: body count. Um, it's terrible, and that's what we're saying

868
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: with the society and what they bring. I think it's

869
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 1: important for for men to start looking at women as

870
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 1: as human beings and not objects or or ruined things

871
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 1: because they've had past damaged good. As you get older,

872
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 1: and mind you, I do want to talk about because

873
00:47:55,080 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 1: you keep saying older, I was like, you, who bad

874
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: a couple that's in their sixties? Like you guys are

875
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 1: our listeners ideas though have have changed. I've been one

876
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 1: who you know, you and your friends talk and she

877
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,839
Speaker 1: has bodies you don't you don't you don't wipe her

878
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 1: because she has bodies. But as I'm older, I'm like,

879
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 1: people go through things. I don't know what she went

880
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,759
Speaker 1: through in her life that she had a whole bunch

881
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: of bodies. But if I like her and this is

882
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,319
Speaker 1: what I want to be with and I'm gonna be with, like,

883
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 1: I don't care about that, but society tells us we're not.

884
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,840
Speaker 1: So it's crazy because as women were not supposed to

885
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 1: care how many women most of the don't. We don't

886
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: at all with a thousand women, literally eight thousand women

887
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: before being with me. As long as he's clean and

888
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: he ain't got the fatty walk type of baby mamas,

889
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 1: I you know, I'm cold. We were talking about that

890
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: the other day. How like the society difference is like

891
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 1: women are allowed to not allow to but women more

892
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 1: are more accepting, whereas gentleman gentleman, whereas men are more

893
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:06,320
Speaker 1: like nah, like we're looking for things so that society

894
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 1: can say it's okay, Like we're looking for society to

895
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, this is okay for us to date

896
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:12,400
Speaker 1: this person on like this person. You know, I have

897
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 1: so many friends who've said they wouldn't mass for someone

898
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:19,800
Speaker 1: with a child And my thing is, you know why,

899
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:23,439
Speaker 1: I just I personally just wish men would start thinking

900
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: about their dicks in the sense of a car. If

901
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:30,320
Speaker 1: your dick was a Bugatti, would you not even a mileedge?

902
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,479
Speaker 1: But if yo dick was a Bugatti, would you park

903
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:36,360
Speaker 1: it in every parking garage? Would you pull up to

904
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: every valet? If it was a Jakie as ballet, they

905
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 1: ain't got on no uniforms, but they got on orange.

906
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:46,319
Speaker 1: Would you let that motherfucker drive yo Bugatti? Probably not?

907
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:50,720
Speaker 1: And I think that if men started like men start

908
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 1: respecting yr dick, there you go like yo dick. So

909
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: that also starts back from childhood. They want men are

910
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,080
Speaker 1: the men when they sleep with as many women in

911
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 1: and they bagged this shorty and do this as far

912
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 1: as women we are taught to protect. Yeah, but that's

913
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:11,839
Speaker 1: why we're in a sexual revolution. And I think that

914
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 1: goes back to women I was saying earlier. You know,

915
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:16,720
Speaker 1: it starts at the home. I feels like my mother,

916
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 1: My mother taught me about sex. We had that conversation

917
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 1: and you know, me and my father didn't talk about it.

918
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: But my father also would have never condoned me having

919
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:27,799
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of women or anything like that. So

920
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 1: that was my upbringing. I can't say that for anybody else,

921
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: but it definitely starts at home, right, I definitely think

922
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: about I mean, one of the first things that my sister,

923
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 1: you know, when I first started dating him, and because

924
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 1: she was trying to prepare me for what was or

925
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 1: maybe could have been likely as far as when you're dating,

926
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 1: when you're teenager with boys cheating, you know, you know,

927
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,759
Speaker 1: she she told me she was like, look, she was

928
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,840
Speaker 1: like for some boy, she was like, pussies, pussies, pussy

929
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:55,439
Speaker 1: is pussy, So don't you know, just she was trying

930
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 1: to prepare me for what she thought could be the case.

931
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,319
Speaker 1: And so and I think that kind of lends to

932
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 1: what you said, which is that you know, you guys

933
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 1: are because the body count stigma isn't associated with them.

934
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 1: They can't they have this like go ahead to run through. However,

935
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: many women, no matter how you know, questionable kuchi might

936
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 1: be uh and s shoudably experience with yes, so um.

937
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: But whereas like women are, like you said, taught to

938
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,240
Speaker 1: like you have to protect you have to you know.

939
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: And and so that's why like these things are taught

940
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 1: to people who are younger, and I mean, and I

941
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 1: took that. I took heat to it absolutely because that

942
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 1: the only I had no experience. So the only thing

943
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: I could do was go off of what everyone else

944
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 1: was telling me. And so I did prepare myself for that.

945
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 1: It wasn't my own personal experience, but it absolutely has

946
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 1: been the experience of so many people. I'm friends with

947
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,400
Speaker 1: that and my people and my family things like that.

948
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 1: So now we may have listeners who have been in

949
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 1: similar relationships like you. I have a question as to

950
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 1: how do you guys keep it spicy? How do you

951
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: guys keep the love intimate? How do you guys keep

952
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 1: it to where it's exciting? Do you guys have any

953
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 1: secrets to that? You know, full transparency? I think it

954
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 1: kind of like it ebbs and flows, okay, true, because

955
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:22,760
Speaker 1: we have our you know, are we? I mean obviously listen,

956
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: I'm I'm human. I have needs and feelings and so

957
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: does he. So if it didn't feel good and we

958
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 1: would be really really bad, like you know, if that

959
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 1: part wasn't you know, you know, because that was you know,

960
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 1: back before we got married, and you know, people would

961
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 1: ask me like, are you okay with having the same

962
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 1: dick the rest of your life. And I was like, yeah,

963
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: I'm fine, and I'm like, you know, like nobody else

964
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was like, I can't miss

965
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 1: what I don't know, you know, and that's and that's

966
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: my experience. So that's saying that to say, um, we

967
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 1: keep it as spicy as we can, but yeah, we

968
00:52:56,880 --> 00:53:00,439
Speaker 1: got we have moments, you know, periods aware I can't

969
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 1: keep our hands off each other, and then we have

970
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 1: periods where it's like good night, and then you know,

971
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 1: we roll over and you know, and then especially now

972
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:12,400
Speaker 1: you add in parenthood, it's been ten months of that

973
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 1: beautiful little girl. But we'd be lying if you say like, oh,

974
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 1: we're getting it in. You know, once those six weeks

975
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:20,879
Speaker 1: we're up, we were back at it. But it's it is,

976
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,720
Speaker 1: you know, for me, I've always and this has sometimes

977
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,840
Speaker 1: been a point of contention for us, but you know,

978
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:29,720
Speaker 1: for me, it's kind of like I think I accept

979
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:31,839
Speaker 1: that it ebbs and flows a little bit more than

980
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,799
Speaker 1: maybe you do sometimes. But he also is right, like,

981
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:36,919
Speaker 1: you know, we still want to be he still wants

982
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 1: to and you can correct me if I'm wrong. Like

983
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 1: you, you you just want to feel close to me like

984
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 1: you want to and so I have to understand that too. Um,

985
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 1: So I mean that's my take on it. Yeah, I

986
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 1: mean I would agree with that. I think it's more

987
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: you know, since having our daughter, it's definitely been different.

988
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 1: So I understand her being tired. But sometimes you can

989
00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 1: still say, Babe, I got you, I got you. You

990
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,320
Speaker 1: know what. It's been a while, but I got you.

991
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 1: But that's the growing thing, you know, And that's how

992
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 1: we're able to to work. Some days sometimes it's we're

993
00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: going crazy. Sometimes it's not as crazy, but we're working

994
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 1: on it. We are able to have that communication and

995
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 1: to be able to keep it going, you know. And

996
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 1: and we're okay with you know. I mean we look

997
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:26,720
Speaker 1: up stuff and read stuff and you know, just different

998
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:30,280
Speaker 1: things like that. So I think listening to this podcast

999
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 1: it kind of makes you a little bits. So that's good.

1000
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 1: That's what we hope to do. I want to know, Um,

1001
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:41,759
Speaker 1: do do different things turn you on now that then

1002
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,719
Speaker 1: turns you on fourteen years ago? Yeah? Like you know,

1003
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 1: I'll give you an example, like I I once dated

1004
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 1: someone sex with me. I like, you know, when I

1005
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 1: would come home from a long day and there was like, oh,

1006
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 1: five pound bag of Totino's pizza rolls in the freezer.

1007
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 1: I got a little my pain. He's got a little wit,

1008
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 1: Like I told that person to order new pillows and

1009
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 1: then I see a box of pillows. Oh ship, that's

1010
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 1: and that's like the talk about like the love language things.

1011
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:12,320
Speaker 1: So like for me, you know, when I was seventeen,

1012
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 1: it was just the fact that like this is like

1013
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 1: new and shiny head back. It was just like I

1014
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,920
Speaker 1: need a little bit moting head. So that was so

1015
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 1: like the for me, it was having sex period was

1016
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 1: like the turn on. And you know, we were we

1017
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 1: were young, and like I wasn't you know, supposed to

1018
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: be over his house. So it's kind of like that

1019
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 1: sneaky thing you know sometimes like trying to hurry up

1020
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 1: and do it and then you know, go home, it's homework.

1021
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 1: And then now it is like you like with the

1022
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,760
Speaker 1: love languages from He's like, oh he put the dishes

1023
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 1: in the dishwasher, Oh girl, Like, oh my goodness, he

1024
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 1: put he gave a baby a bath, god like like.

1025
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 1: And it's it's those little things for me that when

1026
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 1: you do things to make my life easier, it shows

1027
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: me it's beyond just the dishes. It's beyond just given

1028
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:04,920
Speaker 1: the baby about. It's showing me that you see, I

1029
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 1: have a lot going on. You care to take things

1030
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 1: off my plate. That shows you care enough about me

1031
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 1: to make um time out of your day to do

1032
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,120
Speaker 1: something for me, even if it's and it could be

1033
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:17,280
Speaker 1: the smallest things, but they so like, yeah, those things,

1034
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 1: you know make me more excited because it's just like

1035
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 1: I feel cared for and so therefore I would like

1036
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:28,839
Speaker 1: to show I care for him. Look, he's like, yeah, yeah,

1037
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:32,600
Speaker 1: I'm having all the feelings I were trying to bring

1038
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:36,400
Speaker 1: the boyfriend like when you get into that hopefully, like

1039
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 1: when you get that, when that day comes in and

1040
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 1: we have a resource, you can Yes, she is, and

1041
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:56,479
Speaker 1: I'm older than all y'all. It's crazy because I wish

1042
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 1: that we had more time UM. And I wanted to

1043
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: let you guys know that Danny has actually been somebody

1044
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,719
Speaker 1: that I've spoken to off this UM show. She'd be

1045
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:06,600
Speaker 1: checking me, y'all. Y'all might think that I'd just be

1046
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 1: on here reckless. So I've openly discussed having relations with

1047
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 1: married men UM and this is something that Danny hit

1048
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:16,959
Speaker 1: my line, like listen, girl, you know I love you,

1049
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 1: but um, I need to understand where your mind is.

1050
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 1: And she literally sat there and talked to me as

1051
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,920
Speaker 1: a wife and was like I couldn't imagine. I mean,

1052
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 1: she was funny. She was like, I hope t J

1053
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 1: never make that much money to where I feel like

1054
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 1: he's paying a bit, but you can't be sugar Daddy's dad,

1055
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 1: sugar daddy status for nobody. Um. But we had this

1056
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,960
Speaker 1: open dialogue to where she literally, I don't know, do

1057
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 1: you remember any of the questions that you asked me?

1058
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: I remember asking. I remember being like, well, how do

1059
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 1: you know that they're telling because I know you said

1060
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:55,920
Speaker 1: that you operate under you take their word for it.

1061
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 1: Basically it's what I got rosette. They say like, oh,

1062
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:00,439
Speaker 1: my wife's cool with it, and so this is why

1063
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 1: you know we can proceed. And you're like sure, And

1064
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:04,959
Speaker 1: my question was like, well, how do you know for sure?

1065
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 1: Like even a year, do you have every intention of

1066
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 1: not bring any drama to his doorstep? What guarantees you

1067
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 1: that they're not gonna bring? And and and then somebody's

1068
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 1: gonna be knocking on your door or in your phone

1069
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:19,600
Speaker 1: and your mentions and then you know, and I see

1070
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 1: how could be maybe my wife had on I just

1071
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 1: saw how many ways it could be problematic, and you know,

1072
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 1: so we had the conversation and I told her, I mean,

1073
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 1: I know that I've been attacked as far as well

1074
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 1: karma this and karma that, and you shouldn't do this

1075
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:35,360
Speaker 1: and you shouldn't look for that. Um. And I literally

1076
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 1: sat here and told um, Danny, I was like, I mean,

1077
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:42,080
Speaker 1: to me, that's kind of on the husband, UM. And

1078
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 1: it's wrong for me, yes, I mean, and I could

1079
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: sit here and say morally wrong in the sense of

1080
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 1: monogamy and what we're taught in our culture in society today. However,

1081
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 1: I also have penned it to me having dealt with

1082
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 1: Africans and them having being able to have a plethora

1083
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 1: of wives and all the wives knowing and the girlfriends

1084
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:04,000
Speaker 1: knowing about each other the same. They in different religions

1085
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: and in different parts of the world which I've been

1086
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 1: able to travel, this is something that is normal. So

1087
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 1: it's like, is my karma coming to me because I

1088
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,480
Speaker 1: live in America? Is it coming to me because and

1089
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 1: I don't conform to a religion, so I you know,

1090
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 1: I do believe in a higher power in God, but

1091
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: the Christian values I don't follow, UM, And so when

1092
00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:23,720
Speaker 1: I was talking to you about this, I kind of

1093
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 1: said these things like, you know, and I would love

1094
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 1: Michelle is over there, you know, and I don't want

1095
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,000
Speaker 1: to sit here. And because I loved everything that Danny

1096
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 1: brought to me, like well, this could hurt the wife,

1097
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 1: I know I would feel this way. And I just

1098
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:40,280
Speaker 1: appreciated you being there to have that open dialogue with me,

1099
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,439
Speaker 1: because I know that some of the things that I

1100
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:45,240
Speaker 1: do say can be hurtful or have people, you know,

1101
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:47,280
Speaker 1: raising the eyebrow like what the fund is this whole

1102
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 1: ways bitch talking about like she really believes her nonsense

1103
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 1: and I do, UM, And so I appreciate you hitting

1104
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 1: me and UM, I don't know, did you have anything

1105
00:59:56,880 --> 01:00:00,120
Speaker 1: to say about that? Well, I I think I it

1106
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 1: in a space where I've been on both sides of

1107
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 1: the fence. I had. Yeah, I was in a domestic

1108
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 1: partnership as close to marriage as you can get. And

1109
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 1: I was in the person UM cheated on me with

1110
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 1: a trans sex worker. UM. And then in addition to that, UM,

1111
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:21,640
Speaker 1: I have had situations where I was UM a mistress

1112
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 1: to a married man and you know, the betrayal. I

1113
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 1: get the the questions of safety, like you stepping out

1114
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:32,320
Speaker 1: on me and do what and how do I know

1115
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 1: you're being safe? And now you can So that all

1116
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:40,080
Speaker 1: went through my head. Um. And then on top of that, um,

1117
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 1: you know, the married man was very unhappy and um

1118
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:46,640
Speaker 1: it got to a point where they were calling me

1119
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 1: a crazy times. So to go to like I was like, yo,

1120
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 1: you can't kill yourself. You have two kids, and if

1121
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 1: I have to, I will call your wife and tell

1122
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:57,920
Speaker 1: her that you need help. And so that was oftentimes

1123
01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:01,800
Speaker 1: when those situations arise. And and whether now men who

1124
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 1: have open relationships and polyamory, that's different. I'm gonna need

1125
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:16,080
Speaker 1: to double back the signature. But like it's so that's

1126
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 1: another thing that I said. There's a lot of um

1127
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 1: different Um, I guess I don't want to say relationshi,

1128
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:24,360
Speaker 1: Well I guess yeah, there's a lot of different type

1129
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 1: of relationships and agreements that people have when they go

1130
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 1: into a bond um. And so I do feel like

1131
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 1: it's not my responsibility to find out what bond these

1132
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 1: two people have. And I, like I said, I just

1133
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 1: want to appreciate again you for opening that up to

1134
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:42,880
Speaker 1: me and really realizing that listen, this nigga could be

1135
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 1: lying and maybe I could hurt somebody or could potentially

1136
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 1: tear apart a happy home and it's not my intention ever,

1137
01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:51,920
Speaker 1: but again it's it's kind of just like I like

1138
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 1: to be as open as possible, um, and I expect

1139
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:56,760
Speaker 1: the man to as well. And I think that the

1140
01:01:56,800 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 1: man vowed to the woman to to hold that together. Yeah,

1141
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 1: I think for me, my concern would be, you know, Mandy,

1142
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 1: you getting hurt, And that's what I said to her.

1143
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I what my concern would be.

1144
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 1: Then it's just again like it's just like if somebody

1145
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:18,920
Speaker 1: like rolls up on you because you know you. Sometimes

1146
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,040
Speaker 1: it's like I think no matters sometimes like due diligence,

1147
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 1: like you know you're it's not your responsibility because you

1148
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:27,760
Speaker 1: didn't make the vows. But I worry because i'm because

1149
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: if there's one thing, of course, if you meet somebody

1150
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 1: he's single when he lies about being married, and there's

1151
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:35,160
Speaker 1: another thing if he's saying I'm married, but she's okay

1152
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 1: with it, But then what proof do you have? And

1153
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 1: then I don't think. I don't I don't know, and

1154
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 1: I don't have the expectation of them leaving. But that's

1155
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:47,560
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I think each is different, UM, and

1156
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:50,160
Speaker 1: I do just want the listeners to know that when

1157
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 1: I meet women, UM that have different mindsets or aren't

1158
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 1: playing the mistress. Because I have such a wide range

1159
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 1: of friends, Danny was able to open up that conversation

1160
01:02:58,480 --> 01:02:59,920
Speaker 1: to me and that dialogue and we were able to

1161
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 1: care where each of us came from. And so I

1162
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 1: want the listeners to know that I'm not up here spewing,

1163
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 1: ignorant and not listening because I definitely through this journey

1164
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 1: and through this podcast, I want us to continue learning

1165
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:16,560
Speaker 1: and continue to bring these dialogues to people that aren't

1166
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: me or Wheezy or me and Michelle or Danny and

1167
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 1: t J and everyone who's listening to talk about this

1168
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 1: with your friends, with your partners. UM. I want to

1169
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,280
Speaker 1: thank all of you guys for coming on today giving

1170
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:28,960
Speaker 1: UM Where can they hear more from you guys again?

1171
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:31,600
Speaker 1: Do you want to drop you got a kid? So

1172
01:03:31,960 --> 01:03:34,760
Speaker 1: lovers Quarrel? You can um as our podcast. You can

1173
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: find us on iTunes, pop beans. Did you're anywhere that

1174
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:41,840
Speaker 1: you can listen to a podcast? UM? We're on Instagram

1175
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:45,600
Speaker 1: as Lovers Quarrel Show. We'll be posting the information and

1176
01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:47,800
Speaker 1: you can follow us at Lover's Quarrel seven on Twitter.

1177
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:49,720
Speaker 1: TJ is better with better with Twitter than you know.

1178
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:54,080
Speaker 1: You'll see a lot of things from him. Oh yeah,

1179
01:03:54,160 --> 01:03:57,680
Speaker 1: we started doing that. Sometimes I don't w sometimes I

1180
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:02,280
Speaker 1: don't agree with what he puts at fine of course,

1181
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,600
Speaker 1: of course. The then Michelle, you got what you got

1182
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:06,840
Speaker 1: going on that these people need to Okay. February nineteenth,

1183
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 1: we know Thattline ball Room, Highline ball Room here in

1184
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:14,160
Speaker 1: New York. Uh February is the book dropped, So go

1185
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 1: pre ordered Girl's Guide to Sex Education. March ten, if

1186
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 1: you are in the d C metro area, we're doing

1187
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,880
Speaker 1: a live podcast, mind over Matter, Thank you so much.

1188
01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:29,360
Speaker 1: We're partnering together up for UM Women's UM Women's History Month,

1189
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 1: and guess what we're doing. We're talking about sex. We

1190
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,800
Speaker 1: talking about sexuality, but we also do an HIV testing.

1191
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 1: So you want to come out, you want to get

1192
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:41,200
Speaker 1: yes DC UM know your status all be um like

1193
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:44,640
Speaker 1: posting that and then um, I got some other things

1194
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:47,320
Speaker 1: coming up. But again again, if y'all love Michelle like

1195
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 1: we do, y'all can follow her everywhere at MH Sexpert. Also,

1196
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:55,520
Speaker 1: you guys can follow us on Instagram, um, Twitter, at

1197
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 1: Horrible Underscore Decisions and at Horrible pod. Also this is

1198
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,440
Speaker 1: your girl, Mandy B. Follow me at full Core Pumps everywhere.

1199
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:03,480
Speaker 1: Thanks again to all of our patrons, and I do

1200
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:05,320
Speaker 1: also want to give a huge shout out if you

1201
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:07,840
Speaker 1: guys are listening, love the audio. If you guys like

1202
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 1: the video, we've been recording at Gotham Podcast Studio um

1203
01:05:11,120 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 1: here on Church Street in New York City. So if

1204
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 1: you guys are looking to start a podcast as well, UM,

1205
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:18,800
Speaker 1: they're very very very affordable, y'all know me MEO, we

1206
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:22,280
Speaker 1: ain't got them coins like that, um, but they're very affordable.

1207
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:24,200
Speaker 1: Check them out. We'll be putting their information as well

1208
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:26,320
Speaker 1: in the description. So thank you guys. This has been

1209
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 1: yet another episode of Horrible Decisions by