Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi, did you like just take a bong rip?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Do I sound high? Well?
Speaker 1: No, you to You opened up the call by well,
Speaker 1: I mean, actually yes, now that you do sound high,
Speaker 1: but you also you sound high, and you started off
Speaker 1: the call by taking a coughing fit.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not high.
Speaker 1: That sounded like crying just now.
Speaker 3: Actually, no, this is just so funny. I'm just so nervous.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, don't be nervous. Don't be nervous. This is funny.
Speaker 1: This is objectively funny. You are on the phone with
Speaker 1: a guy in a gecko costume. It's funny. I'll admit me.
Speaker 3: This funny.
Speaker 1: It's if you're in a funny situation.
Speaker 3: Right now.
Speaker 1: We're both in funny situations. Right now. I'm wearing a
Speaker 1: gecko costume on the phone with a random guy. This
Speaker 1: is pretty funny. I agree with that, Gwenna. It says
Speaker 1: here that it says here that you are thinking about
Speaker 1: committing yourself to celibacy, and you wanted to talk through that.
Speaker 1: Why are you thinking about committing yourself to celibacy? Dwayne?
Speaker 3: All right, So should I just get right into it.
Speaker 2: Recently, I've just been I've just been having a lot more,
Speaker 2: like a lot more sex, you know, and like it's
Speaker 2: it's actually crazy because the thing is, so I'm I'm nineteen, right.
Speaker 3: I When I was in high school, I was like
Speaker 3: really fucking ugly, you know, and I didn't really have
Speaker 3: a whole lot of sex. But then like a few
Speaker 3: months after I graduated high school, you know, I started
Speaker 3: hooking up more and then maybe a little bit more,
Speaker 3: and like the last like I would say, six to
Speaker 3: eight months, you know, I've just been like hooking up
Speaker 3: so much and it's actually and it's crazy, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean. And the thing is I hate it,
Speaker 3: you know, like I hate it.
Speaker 1: Let me, can I answer you a question?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, actually you know what I feel like you give
Speaker 1: me a top line right now. I want to finish
Speaker 1: your top line and then I have questions.
Speaker 3: All right, So I hate it, you know. But like
Speaker 3: the thing is, like I just this is gonna sound
Speaker 3: so weird, but like I love I love the way
Speaker 3: sex feels, and I'm actually like really good at it.
Speaker 3: Like it's it's so it's so funny, Like it's actually crazy.
Speaker 3: I've just been having a lot more sex lately, and
Speaker 3: I just I kind of hate it. You know like
Speaker 3: it's actually I just I hate it, Okay, Like it's
Speaker 3: the point where it's going to the point where like
Speaker 3: I'll be like driving home after like I'm done looking
Speaker 3: up with someone, and like I'll just be on the
Speaker 3: ridge of tears, you know what I mean, because I'm like, damn,
Speaker 3: like what am I doing with myself? Like am I
Speaker 3: really just going out and just doing all this for me?
Speaker 3: Because it's meaningless, you know, like I'll never hit up
Speaker 3: the person after, or maybe we'll talk one more time after,
Speaker 3: but that's pretty much it, you know, like that's the
Speaker 3: only interaction I'll have, and you know, I just feel
Speaker 3: like shit, you know, like it's it's it's wild.
Speaker 1: So how you said you've been kind of doing this
Speaker 1: for eight months?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, like the last I would say, like
Speaker 3: the last eight months, I've been doing it a lot more.
Speaker 1: Okay, So tell me how long into At what point
Speaker 1: in that eight month period do you realize that you
Speaker 1: hated it?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 3: I first realized this maybe like three weeks ago. I
Speaker 3: was hooking up with this one person. And the thing
Speaker 3: that made me start to hate it more was she
Speaker 3: actually had a boyfriend and he called he like he
Speaker 3: called her like right, like while we're in the middle
Speaker 3: of like hooking up, right, we're fucking, and like when
Speaker 3: we're done, she's like, oh shit, Like that's like my
Speaker 3: boyfriend called him, like, oh shit, you have a fucking boyfriend.
Speaker 3: And at that moment I would just sort of realize.
Speaker 3: I was like, damn, like I really like that. That's
Speaker 3: the moment I realized, like I I just hated hooking
Speaker 3: up with people. And so recently, like within like the
Speaker 3: last few I would say, last few days, I would
Speaker 3: I recently started considering maybe I should, you know, like
Speaker 3: commit myself to celibacy, not not not for like not forever,
Speaker 3: not forever or anything, but like until I find until
Speaker 3: I know, until I am in a long term relationship,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: Okay m hm. So you said you at some point
Speaker 1: recently were hooked up with someone and you were driving
Speaker 1: home and you started crying, like it got that bad.
Speaker 3: I was on the Virgin tiars. I was on the
Speaker 3: Virgin Tiars.
Speaker 1: Can I hear like when you were on the verge
Speaker 1: of tears, what like what were you thinking? What were
Speaker 1: you feeling?
Speaker 3: I was just thinking how much I hated myself, Like
Speaker 3: how well I don't want to say hated myself, but
Speaker 3: like how much I felt like like an object? I
Speaker 3: guess okay, I don't really know, Like I just felt
Speaker 3: so bad because it was just a meaningless interaction that
Speaker 3: I had, and I kept doing it, you know, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, why am I doing this? It's just like
Speaker 3: there's just nothing there, you know, but I'm still doing it,
Speaker 3: and that sort of just made me feel I feel
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this. You were going on a
Speaker 1: little bit ago before I yelled at you about talking
Speaker 1: to the chat about talking about how you liked doing it,
Speaker 1: because you gave me a few things. You said you
Speaker 1: didn't feel confident in high school. You're more confident now.
Speaker 1: You were telling me that you felt like you were
Speaker 1: good at it. There was amazing thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So in high school or like actually like the
Speaker 3: I don't want to say, just high school, like the
Speaker 3: vast majority of my life except within like the last
Speaker 3: like a litt less than a year, like the last
Speaker 3: year or so, I was I've been like really unconfident.
Speaker 3: I was I'm not gonna I was really ugly, really
Speaker 3: like really nerdy, you know, and now like now I'm
Speaker 3: much more attractive now, I have more confidence, you know,
Speaker 3: so all those things that weren't available for me, you know,
Speaker 3: I eat sex, all that that, like that that wasn't
Speaker 3: available for me.
Speaker 1: Now I mean, are you available?
Speaker 3: Because like it's not like I have like women to
Speaker 3: pick and choo from, but like, oh now I have
Speaker 3: more of an opportunity to have sex, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean?
Speaker 1: Sure? And so now you're feeling are you feeling as
Speaker 1: though you are like making up for lost time or
Speaker 1: trying to take heavy advantage of this this newfound confidence
Speaker 1: in how you look? Is that a sort of a
Speaker 1: symptom of this?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, because what if it goes away? You know,
Speaker 3: like what if I'm never gonna have this opportunity to
Speaker 3: have sex again or like have But like that's what
Speaker 3: part of me is thinking, and like the other part
Speaker 3: of me is thinking, like, but I don't want to
Speaker 3: have all this meaningless that.
Speaker 1: Why did you when you were and you can tell
Speaker 1: me whatever, The honest answer to this is why did
Speaker 1: you want to bring up that you felt like you
Speaker 1: were good at it? How does that?
Speaker 3: Like? I just thought that was funny, But like I'm not,
Speaker 3: like I'm pretty good. I like I like to think
Speaker 3: I'm pretty good at it. But that's just that's just
Speaker 3: that's just my opinion, you.
Speaker 1: Know, Okay, I like to think. I'm like, so this
Speaker 1: is like this is like a validation. Is this like
Speaker 1: a validation thing? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because I didn't have that, you know, I
Speaker 3: never had that validation all of my life actually, except
Speaker 3: that at this point I'm like, oh now people are
Speaker 3: attracted to me, Now people want me. This is great, right,
Speaker 3: But no, it's actually not great.
Speaker 1: And what it's and you know what's funny is that,
Speaker 1: like you think that like having sex with a bunch
Speaker 1: of people like gets you the validation. It's not going
Speaker 1: to get you the fact, because the validation is the
Speaker 1: actual true validation. We it's never going to come from
Speaker 1: anywhere except you know, something very internal. I think I stupid, but.
Speaker 3: No, I agree with you because I had a lot
Speaker 3: of friends that that, you know, when we were seniors
Speaker 3: in high scho well, they you know, started having a
Speaker 3: lot more sex and they were like and they felt
Speaker 3: the same way. They were like because I, you know,
Speaker 3: I was like the last one of my friend group
Speaker 3: to lose my virginity and they were like doing trust me,
Speaker 3: like it's it's not worth it. Like you don't want this,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, all my friends are actually like they're
Speaker 3: they're really gorgeous, you know, like they're all super handsome,
Speaker 3: they're incredibly good looking. So I'm like, you know, well,
Speaker 3: of course you can say that because you can have
Speaker 3: literally anyone you want. Literally look in the mirror like
Speaker 3: you're so hot, you know, but I'm not, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean. And then now I'm at that point
Speaker 3: where I'm realizing, Damn, they're kind of right. You know
Speaker 3: what's crazy, Lyle, Every every girl, every know, every person
Speaker 3: that I've had sex with, I've met off a dating app,
Speaker 3: like I've never It's it's so wild.
Speaker 1: Kay, I have to I have to bring something up right.
Speaker 1: I have to bring something up right now that I
Speaker 1: think about that I really want to draw attention to
Speaker 1: I'm imagining right now, I'm a mad and maybe this
Speaker 1: is whoever's is I'm imagining right now somebody who never
Speaker 1: has sex, like a young I'm imagining right now, a
Speaker 1: young dude who never has sex that's listening to this
Speaker 1: call and is pissed off at you, and let me
Speaker 1: finish about this is who's upset and they're set and
Speaker 1: they're thinking like, oh, easy for you to say, Oh,
Speaker 1: you just came into brag with this and that, and
Speaker 1: I'm imagining it, and I want to just say, if
Speaker 1: that's you and you're listening to this right now, you
Speaker 1: have to under like the fact that you're coming on
Speaker 1: here and you're saying, I am a young, attractive dude
Speaker 1: and I'm having a ton of sex and I'm and
Speaker 1: it's not the fucking answer. Isn't that what you would
Speaker 1: want to hear If you're a young guy hung up
Speaker 1: on not having sex with anyone? What don't you want
Speaker 1: to hear from somebody? Wouldn't you want to hear from someone, Oh, hey,
Speaker 1: I actually have the thing that you're obsessed with. Like
Speaker 1: I I I I have lost my virginia. I have
Speaker 1: the thing that you're obsessed with, and it is it
Speaker 1: wasn't the answer to the problems that you think it's
Speaker 1: the answer to. Isn't that what you would want to hear?
Speaker 1: I I you know, so we're all on this consensus
Speaker 1: that this thing that's held in such a high regard,
Speaker 1: which is having sex with what, it's not the answer,
Speaker 1: is not the answer. So I wanted to bring that up.
Speaker 1: This is a thing because I'm.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it somebody.
Speaker 1: Who doesn't have sex with a lot of people that's
Speaker 1: that's listening to this, and it's just like that's what
Speaker 1: you would want to us, ask anyone thing that you're
Speaker 1: fixated on is really not the fucking thing IN need
Speaker 1: to fixate on. But back to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And now I'm at this point where I'm like,
Speaker 3: maybe I should just stop, you know, because the last
Speaker 3: time I had sex was just a few days ago,
Speaker 3: and I was just out of it the whole time,
Speaker 3: you know, like I was not into it, Like I
Speaker 3: was not into her at all, Like I was just
Speaker 3: like the whole time, I was just like damn, Like
Speaker 3: in my mind, I was just thinking, damn, what the
Speaker 3: actual fuck am I doing right now? Like I should
Speaker 3: just stop. So I was just like, hey, can we stop?
Speaker 3: And then like I left, and now I came to
Speaker 3: that realism. Now I came to that really I was
Speaker 3: told I was telling you about earlier. I'm like, maybe
Speaker 3: I should just commit myself to celibacy until you know,
Speaker 3: like I find a long term partner or until I
Speaker 3: find someone who I want to who I really want
Speaker 3: to be with. You know.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, man, I think just.
Speaker 3: This emotionless emotion this emotionless, this meaningless, emotionless sex is
Speaker 3: just draining me mentally, you know, like I I hate it.
Speaker 1: Well, well, Dwayne Man, I think that if hm, if
Speaker 1: that's what you feel like you should do, you should
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're right, I should.
Speaker 1: Oh, No, I gave so I told. I said, I
Speaker 1: wasn't going to give I said, I wasn't going to
Speaker 1: tell people to do.
Speaker 3: But no, no, no, I was. I was already gonna I
Speaker 3: was going to do this. I was to do that.
Speaker 3: I just wanted a second opinion.
Speaker 1: You know, well, Dan, I'm glad to hear that you
Speaker 1: have sort of self diagnosed your your problem and are
Speaker 1: making uh an effort to to fix it. And I
Speaker 1: and again I like I, like I said, when I'm
Speaker 1: telling you about how I'm thinking about somebody who who
Speaker 1: does not have a lot of sex and that that
Speaker 1: takes up a lot of their headspace I'm imagining, I'm
Speaker 1: like thinking about this call from their filter. And I
Speaker 1: think it's a helpful thing you sharing this experience, because again,
Speaker 1: it adds further evidence to the idea that you know,
Speaker 1: the solution to life's problems likely does not here I go.
Speaker 1: I'm saying some hippie ship that the solution to life's
Speaker 1: problems does not lie in anything external. Yeah, but adds
Speaker 1: on your podcast if if, if the solution to life's
Speaker 1: problems doesn't lie in anything external, because I like buying
Speaker 1: candy bars in bulk and eating all of them because
Speaker 1: it helps me forget about my problems for a little bit.
Speaker 3: Well, I just wanted to say thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 3: I'm a plat the stream and feel like I watch it.
Speaker 3: I watch it most most most things, and I was
Speaker 3: once affections.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Dayne? Is the anything else you
Speaker 1: want to say to the people of the computer before
Speaker 1: we go?
Speaker 3: No, I just want to say thank you and uh yeah,
Speaker 3: thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: But see, this would be a great place to put
Speaker 1: a podcast ad right here. Hello while the Hi? Yeah,
Speaker 1: who is this?
Speaker 6: This is Leroy?
Speaker 1: How's it gone? Leroy?
Speaker 4: Good?
Speaker 6: How are you doing tonight?
Speaker 1: I'm a gecko on the computer?
Speaker 7: Man?
Speaker 1: How can I how can I get you this evening?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 6: I I have an issue that I'm kind of upstanding about.
Speaker 4: Sorry.
Speaker 6: You might hear my cat in the background. He's a
Speaker 6: bit annoysy yeah. Yeah, I'm up sick because I want
Speaker 6: to be your friends in like a real life, genuine
Speaker 6: human chicken on each other way. But I understand that
Speaker 6: that's like a parasocial friends fantasy because you I I
Speaker 6: like the portrayal you put forward of yourself on the internet.
Speaker 1: It's true, it's true. Is that it? I don't know
Speaker 1: if you're done talking?
Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: See it's interesting. I've I barely even I barely even
Speaker 1: hang out with my own with my friends in real life.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I guess I don't. I don't do
Speaker 1: friends the way that most people do. Maybe I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's true. No, that's probably not true. But anyway,
Speaker 1: let's see, you want to be friends with me, but
Speaker 1: you feel as though it is it is impossible. Well like, okay,
Speaker 1: you live in New Zealand, right.
Speaker 3: Do Yeah?
Speaker 1: See you know, look, I feel like I'm I'm not
Speaker 1: a good like. I think the fantasy that we would
Speaker 1: text each other all the time and like, you know,
Speaker 1: be really major parts of each other's lives is almost
Speaker 1: certainly not going to happen. But I don't know. If
Speaker 1: I go to New Zealand, it's un realistic. But if
Speaker 1: I go to New Zealand, I do a show, I'm
Speaker 1: hanging out afterwards. You know, maybe maybe we'd hang out.
Speaker 1: I could hang out with anyone, because hanging out is
Speaker 1: like a it's an easy or real commitment. There like
Speaker 1: I can't be in your life and I can't even
Speaker 1: promise you i'd hang out with you because you live
Speaker 1: in New Zealand's but I'm thinking my head. If I
Speaker 1: ever went to New Zealand, I did a show, was
Speaker 1: hanging out at the bar afterwards, we did a whole thing.
Speaker 1: We could hang out. We could have a genuine human
Speaker 1: conversation with each other. I could see that happening. I
Speaker 1: would be I would enjoy that. Actually that would be fun.
Speaker 1: But no, there's no I don't think that we would
Speaker 1: become any sort of close lasting friends, even if you
Speaker 1: are for many reasons, not had many many reasons that
Speaker 1: have nothing to that have nothing at all to do
Speaker 1: with who you are as a person. Does that make sense?
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like, even just logistically, it's not a match made
Speaker 6: in heaven. I think I think the the just meeting
Speaker 6: and having a human conversation would probably satisfy you was crazy.
Speaker 1: A lot you could you could be like the perfect
Speaker 1: kind of dude that I would be friends with, and
Speaker 1: we still I still wouldn't. I don't think it would
Speaker 1: happen because for many just logistical reasons.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it's it's a frustrating thing with celebrities in general,
Speaker 6: I think because they share, like they bear their soul
Speaker 6: and the art they share with us, and you feel
Speaker 6: like you know them, but then like, yeah, it's obvious
Speaker 6: that there's a stand up there at the stop where
Speaker 6: if you're a fan of them, you can even really
Speaker 6: have a genuine human friendship because you're always chasing the
Speaker 6: image not the reality.
Speaker 1: And it's funny, you know, it's funny, is I am?
Speaker 1: This isn't even a thing of like you know, streamer
Speaker 1: viewer thing. I think just in my life, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm very non committal with most of my relationships, be
Speaker 1: they you know, any kind, and I'm very much like
Speaker 1: I'm if I'm with you, Like if you and I
Speaker 1: were staying at a bar and we were talking to
Speaker 1: each other, I'd be like, Okay, in this moment that
Speaker 1: I'm staring at you and we're with each other, I'm
Speaker 1: with you right now. We're homies. But I only I
Speaker 1: can only ever guarantee the moment. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I can only even with my real life friends, I
Speaker 1: feel like I can only ever guarantee the moment. You know,
Speaker 1: I feel like I can't, Like I couldn't commit to
Speaker 1: a package of six consecutive weekends that I'll hang out
Speaker 1: with my real life friends. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I can only commit to the moment that I'm in.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a problem. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's a function the way that I live my life,
Speaker 1: but that's how I feel about my real life friends
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 6: I feel like that's kind of beautiful, though, because that
Speaker 6: teaches you to say everything you're living for the exact
Speaker 6: now that you're experiencing, instead of chasing something that might
Speaker 6: be better that probably isn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, for sure, I like having this conversation
Speaker 1: with you so much more than if I were just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course I'll be a friend, because that's I don't
Speaker 1: want to lie to you.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm genuinely really grateful for the moment we're sharing now,
Speaker 6: Like I've just had a day off work and decided
Speaker 6: to pull in and thought, oh, there's no way. And
Speaker 6: then I'm talking to you now, which doesn't feel real,
Speaker 6: but I'm great.
Speaker 4: It's true.
Speaker 1: We're in that we are with each other in this
Speaker 1: moment right now. I can promise I cannot promise a
Speaker 1: moment outside of this one, but I can promise to
Speaker 1: be in this phone call that we are on currently.
Speaker 3: Hmmm.
Speaker 6: I really like that. This is a it's it's it's
Speaker 6: a memory that I'm currently creating but already cherishing.
Speaker 1: I canna ask you this, why have you Is there
Speaker 1: anything that you that like, let's say we were, you know,
Speaker 1: lifelong friends, right what uh? What is there anything you
Speaker 1: would want to talk about like now that like we're
Speaker 1: in this moment currently.
Speaker 6: I I I like what you said before about the
Speaker 6: sharing moments of people. I like the friendships where we
Speaker 6: can comfortably together in a room doing completely separate things,
Speaker 6: but just merely sharing the space with the person feels
Speaker 6: like the bonding experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of, it does kind of feel like what
Speaker 1: we're doing right now, because you're in a different, complete,
Speaker 1: other continent and yeah, we're just sitting here on the phone.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like we're in We're in completely like we're
Speaker 6: probably about as Parley from each other as we could be,
Speaker 6: but we're both focused.
Speaker 3: On you know, the person I like that.
Speaker 1: Do you have a Do you have a lot of
Speaker 1: friends in real life?
Speaker 6: Laurie uh Leroy and I I have. I have a
Speaker 6: couple of very close screams and then a lot of friends.
Speaker 1: You know, have you ever heard the parts?
Speaker 6: And a lot of people I see really.
Speaker 1: From the guy and he's like, sometimes if somebody gets
Speaker 1: too friendly with me, I'll call them by the wrong name.
Speaker 1: I didn't do that intentionally, but I had that Sorry
Speaker 1: you were you were saying real things to me, and
Speaker 1: I interrupted it said, stupid things you were telling me
Speaker 1: about your friends in real life?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I have a I have a small handful of
Speaker 6: very close screams that I would like share secrets and
Speaker 6: being my soul worth. And then a lot of people
Speaker 6: that I see very regularly that I enjoy seeing and
Speaker 6: I think, I guess you could call them friends for
Speaker 6: this the people I really I enjoy seeing, not someone
Speaker 6: i'd go to.
Speaker 1: And are you satisfied with the friendship sphere of your
Speaker 1: life currently?
Speaker 6: I am. I reflect on that sometimes of like, I'm
Speaker 6: I'm happy with my circle, and that doesn't mean it's closed,
Speaker 6: but the people that I have are quite cope.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 3: I like that.
Speaker 1: Well, fuck all right, ship, maybe if I come to
Speaker 1: New Zealand's maybe we can maybe maybe we can hang out.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'd love to hang out.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, we can. We'll figure that out. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try. Well, I'm going to Australia. Don't know how
Speaker 1: far that is. Come there, let me make it.
Speaker 6: It's it's it's like a three hour flat okay, depending
Speaker 6: on where in Australia you.
Speaker 1: Go, Lauria. Is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 1: to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 6: No, I've been in a completely favorite room to where
Speaker 6: I had the string going. Just talken to here. But
Speaker 6: I don't want to say thank you to your sharing
Speaker 6: this moment with me. This is I I never expected
Speaker 6: it and it's been really facial.
Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for sharing this moment with me as well.
Speaker 1: Hopefully I'll see you when I go down under. That
Speaker 1: sounded sexual, hopefully, but actually it did. It'sunded sexual. After
Speaker 1: I said that, thank you for calling is it Lee Roy? Leroy?
Speaker 3: Lee Roy?
Speaker 1: Think of calling Leroy?
Speaker 6: Thank you?
Speaker 3: Lyle? Sorry?
Speaker 1: Kick you know what, Leroy? I feel like we reached
Speaker 1: a level in our relationship where if you truly desire,
Speaker 1: you can call me Lyle Hello, Hey, Hi is this Liz.
Speaker 4: If you'm not Secrifer Elizabeth?
Speaker 1: But that's okay, What's what's going on with you? How
Speaker 1: can I get you today?
Speaker 4: Well, about a month ago or so, I had friends
Speaker 4: that just called me on a whim and were like, Hey,
Speaker 4: do you want to jump out of an airplane with me?
Speaker 4: And I was like yes, So I met that we
Speaker 4: like met halfway from where we lived, and we jumped
Speaker 4: out and it was the greatest thing that's ever happened
Speaker 4: to me.
Speaker 6: Honestly.
Speaker 4: It was like I'm an adrenaline junkie and I almost
Speaker 4: bailed and then I did it, And like, ever since
Speaker 4: then that the rest of my life has just been.
Speaker 6: Like really boring.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you went skydiving and then ever since, your
Speaker 1: rest of your life has been very boring.
Speaker 3: Correct.
Speaker 4: So, and I had like not loved my job and
Speaker 4: like actually working towards getting my dive master in scuba
Speaker 4: diving to like potentially dabble in that.
Speaker 6: The problem is.
Speaker 4: The biggest problem is like I maybe you know, I'm
Speaker 4: make a ton of money at my job, but I
Speaker 4: would make a lot more than I do in any
Speaker 4: other way. And my husband just bought a business, so
Speaker 4: like all of my money is there. So I'm like
Speaker 4: having this struggle of like do I stay with my
Speaker 4: corporate job that is so boring, that's the feeling, or
Speaker 4: but then I can't find a plan to get where
Speaker 4: I want?
Speaker 1: If that makes sense, tell me what it is that
Speaker 1: you want. Where are you trying to get to?
Speaker 4: I mean, honestly, like best case scenario. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 4: the best case scenario would be to like marry rich
Speaker 4: and that I could just do what I want. But
Speaker 4: the last I married ambition, and that's someone's out.
Speaker 1: You married, you married, you tried to get in early.
Speaker 1: You married someone with the potential to get rich, right.
Speaker 4: So then you know, it turns out he's like a
Speaker 4: socialist and believes in like creating his company and he
Speaker 4: is like employee owned and sharing all the profits with
Speaker 4: the employees.
Speaker 1: So, oh my god, I don't know you You you
Speaker 1: married the wrong guy if you're looking to get I know.
Speaker 4: So we're gonna let that one ride for a couple
Speaker 4: more years and see how that played out. So which
Speaker 4: means I need to come up with a plan.
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, so you're gonna let that one ride, see
Speaker 1: how it plays out, and in the meantime, you're gonna
Speaker 1: come up with a plan. Okay. So I mean, listen, Liz,
Speaker 1: what what do you want to do with your time?
Speaker 4: I mean, I just want to feel like I'm contributing positively,
Speaker 4: Like right now I'm literally a number and like I
Speaker 4: help a lot of people, but the people that tech
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm just like I'm a pawn in a
Speaker 4: corporate corporation in it. Yeah, it feels horrible.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm. Okay, So again listen, We're we we know
Speaker 1: what you don't want to do. Uh, we know you
Speaker 1: don't want to be a cog in the courtor machine.
Speaker 1: But what do you want to do?
Speaker 3: Lives?
Speaker 4: I mean, if I could really do anything, it would
Speaker 4: be if like skydiving instructor.
Speaker 3: Like.
Speaker 4: I'm you know, dive scuba diving instructor, but that would
Speaker 4: require moving to the ocean and again business. I just
Speaker 4: I want to do something where I feel like I'm
Speaker 4: making an impact so like and pays me well, so
Speaker 4: that I can do all the time.
Speaker 1: Well, if you're a skydiving instructor, I would hope you're
Speaker 1: not making an impact.
Speaker 6: A good one.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you want to make an impact. I mean,
Speaker 1: what else? What else? What are some things that you
Speaker 1: feel like you could do to make an impact?
Speaker 4: I mean, here's the problem. There's a million things that
Speaker 4: I could do to make an impact. And I'm sure,
Speaker 4: like in a lot of ways. Whatever, It's just that
Speaker 4: I have, like my securities, licenses, like my so I do,
Speaker 4: like work in the financial industry. It just took me
Speaker 4: so long to get here. So it's like all of
Speaker 4: the things that I wanted to do that I would
Speaker 4: want to do would be I guess it's the fear
Speaker 4: of starting over. I think it's really my biggest ruddle.
Speaker 4: Like this would require me going a night class, is
Speaker 4: not doing anything except hustling, and it would take me
Speaker 4: like another five years, right, and then.
Speaker 1: Well, can I say I have I mean, it sounds
Speaker 1: it doesn't It sounds like the only way forward is
Speaker 1: to start over. Right. If you're it is in this
Speaker 1: job that you don't like, I mean, you could either
Speaker 1: start over or you know, be unhappy for the next
Speaker 1: you know, sixty years just pushing paper and doing your
Speaker 1: financial job. So, I mean, starting over is really the
Speaker 1: only chance you have it doing a thing that will
Speaker 1: make you remotely happy.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 4: I mean the flip side is because the job is easy.
Speaker 4: There is zero stress, and I make decent money because
Speaker 4: like do I just suck it up and ride the
Speaker 4: corporate train and like that pays me to do like
Speaker 4: I can afford to do the things that I want
Speaker 4: to do.
Speaker 1: Does your job have flexibility?
Speaker 4: I kind of like they just started telling us, like
Speaker 4: we have to signal our break now.
Speaker 1: You know, so do you can you make money?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: All right, these things that you say you're don't have
Speaker 1: to start over doing, like being a skydive a instructor
Speaker 1: or scuba instructor, Like can you not pursue these things
Speaker 1: while you are still employed with the financial company?
Speaker 4: Right? And I totally can. It's just then it ends
Speaker 4: up in a place where I'm qualified to make not
Speaker 4: very much money, but I have a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: You should all you should try to brainwash your husband
Speaker 1: into becoming a capitalist and that way you can still
Speaker 1: kind of have that as a backup in case if
Speaker 1: none of this works.
Speaker 8: I know, I think could happen.
Speaker 4: He owns a bike shop, Like it's here back.
Speaker 1: I feel like, how rich can you really get owning
Speaker 1: a bike shop.
Speaker 4: You can't there, we.
Speaker 6: Like he can, he can.
Speaker 7: You know, we get a lot of discounts on the side,
Speaker 7: Like we're big matain bikers, you know.
Speaker 4: Him do that kind of thing, So we get all
Speaker 4: the discounts on that too, which helps the game care well.
Speaker 1: I don't know if being rich and getting discounts on
Speaker 1: bicycles are the same thing, but they are. It's not nothing, right,
Speaker 1: but just to.
Speaker 7: Like a little side bar here. While I was on
Speaker 7: with Brie, shout out to Brie, Happy birthday, Bres. She
Speaker 7: we kind of had a chat about it because I
Speaker 7: think she's having similar feelings about not.
Speaker 4: Being airscreen collar but for other occupation. And we came
Speaker 4: to the conclusion that I should just learn to be
Speaker 4: a mermaid.
Speaker 1: Learned. I don't know if being a mermaid is something
Speaker 1: that you can learn how to do. I think you
Speaker 1: have to be born.
Speaker 4: That is that were you born at?
Speaker 3: Get go.
Speaker 1: Touche uh li. Is there anything else you want to
Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: No, that was it, but yeah, thank you, thanks for calling.
Speaker 6: Thanks man.
Speaker 1: I hope I hope that that woman either gets a
Speaker 1: new job or divorce or I don't know whatever it
Speaker 1: is that'll make her happy in life. Hello, Hello, what's up?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 1: That was not you? Try that was what's that was
Speaker 1: not anything? That was the That was not even a noise?
Speaker 3: Did you?
Speaker 1: I said, all right, all right, you started with not
Speaker 1: a noise and then we got to a noise. I
Speaker 1: feel like we are on an upward trajectory towards words,
Speaker 1: perhaps even sentences.
Speaker 8: Yeah, those developed perhaps could happen.
Speaker 1: Okay, what is your name?
Speaker 8: I am Dakota.
Speaker 1: You are Dakota. Okay, that's a full sentence. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was right. We did it.
Speaker 8: We got there.
Speaker 1: What's going on with you, Dakota?
Speaker 8: Uh No, I just got a new job and I'm
Speaker 8: just just working at the moment. That's all I got.
Speaker 8: I mean, nothing crazy going on.
Speaker 1: That's not true. You called and to talk to me
Speaker 1: about something, didn't you.
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 8: Yes, but that's it was.
Speaker 3: In the past.
Speaker 1: Okay. What is it the I called in today?
Speaker 8: I called in today to talk about my my ex
Speaker 8: that believe that porn was cheating. That was her her theory,
Speaker 8: and the whole time she had this theory, I was
Speaker 8: watching porn behind her back. So some would say I
Speaker 8: was cheating.
Speaker 1: Hm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mm hmmm. Okay, how long did you do
Speaker 1: it this person for?
Speaker 8: Uh, I'm gonna I'm gonna round up and say four years.
Speaker 1: You had her for four years and the whole time
Speaker 1: you were watching porn.
Speaker 8: Uh yeah, I mean there's likely there's like three months
Speaker 8: where I.
Speaker 1: Wasn't Okay, how deep into the relationship that she said?
Speaker 1: Did she tell you that she believes that watching porn
Speaker 1: was cheating.
Speaker 8: I'm gonna say a solid like two months into it,
Speaker 8: and like it just came up in a conversation and
Speaker 8: she was like, uh, you know, I don't really like it.
Speaker 8: I think it paints women in negative light. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 8: I agree, you know, and she's like, I don't feel
Speaker 8: comfortable with you watching it. Okay, I'll stop watching it.
Speaker 8: And then but she came up another time and she
Speaker 8: talked about it, and I was like, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 8: I still watch it, and then she started crying. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Mm so I mean, okay, look, every relationship they're cheating
Speaker 1: is not some like objective, standardized metric across the world,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean people argue about this all the time.
Speaker 1: They're like, is dancing with someone cheating? Is flirting with
Speaker 1: so much the answer, and some there are there are
Speaker 1: some relationships where the couples have decided that each other
Speaker 1: can have sex with other people and that's not cheating,
Speaker 1: and then that's that's on one side okay. And then
Speaker 1: on the other side of the spectrum, there are are
Speaker 1: couples who have decided that, such as in your case,
Speaker 1: watching porn is cheating, and so it's really up to
Speaker 1: the people in the relationship to set their own standards
Speaker 1: of what they're cool with and the quota. Listen, ah am,
Speaker 1: you know, undeniably there was a boundary set, and undeniably
Speaker 1: you did knowingly break that boundary.
Speaker 8: That is that is a hard truth.
Speaker 1: Except yes, how did you guys talk about this? What
Speaker 1: was the conversation?
Speaker 8: Like, uh, you know, it was it was a long
Speaker 8: time ago, but it was just you know, normal at first,
Speaker 8: and like, I don't know, just came up into conversation
Speaker 8: talking about like porn and just saying she does not
Speaker 8: like it, she is not like people watching it. She
Speaker 8: thinks it's terrible. But then there's also that time like recently,
Speaker 8: like before the breakup, she was like, oh, you know,
Speaker 8: I'm making only fans, Like why not so she would
Speaker 8: dive into porn herself. But when it watch it, I don't.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Okay, Uh, well, I mean listen, what none of that stuff,
Speaker 1: whether or not she would say she makes an only fans.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, the girl told you point blank. So
Speaker 1: can I listen to Kota? I think here's next time
Speaker 1: what you should do. Okay, if you start a relationship
Speaker 1: with someone and they're like, okay, if we are going
Speaker 1: to be in an exclusive relationship, if we have decided
Speaker 1: I'm your girlfriends, you're my boyfriend's vibes, and we are
Speaker 1: writing the contract of our relationship, and I'm letting you
Speaker 1: know that I want this in the contract. I'm communicating
Speaker 1: that to you. If at the time that contract is
Speaker 1: being written you disagree adamantly with that that clause that
Speaker 1: she would like to be in the contract, You've got
Speaker 1: to make that clear ahead of time.
Speaker 8: Okay, what is your thoughts on all of this? Well,
Speaker 8: there's another aspect to it.
Speaker 1: I mean, tell me the other answer.
Speaker 8: Putting out she was not putting out like we're twenty,
Speaker 8: you know, I feel like at this ripe age, we
Speaker 8: should be you know, experimenting, we should be you know,
Speaker 8: doing all these things and that was just not happening
Speaker 8: for weeks on end.
Speaker 1: Sure, I was just always less and and Dakota, listen,
Speaker 1: it's okay if you're in a relation. It's okay if
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship and like you want to have
Speaker 1: sex and the other person doesn't want to have sex.
Speaker 1: You're not a villain for wanting to have sex. But
Speaker 1: you got to leave that if you got to leave
Speaker 1: that relationship, like at that time, you can't just be
Speaker 1: like staying in it and trying to get your way
Speaker 1: while you're in it. Like if if if sex is
Speaker 1: important to you and the other person doesn't want to,
Speaker 1: just just find a different thing, you know, instead, you're
Speaker 1: like wasting this person's time. This person Like it's it's
Speaker 1: okay to call it quits if you're not getting what
Speaker 1: you desire out of the relationship.
Speaker 3: But like.
Speaker 8: It was not like a siding factor of relationship, Like
Speaker 8: I'm just it was just another aspect to it that
Speaker 8: she was not you know, it felt like she didn't
Speaker 8: like me, Like because it wasn't happening a lot, so.
Speaker 1: Can why did you stay so long if it really
Speaker 1: just seems like it wasn't working out between you guys.
Speaker 8: Uh, because it was I mean it was like I
Speaker 8: can't say that it was a deciding factor, but it
Speaker 8: was just I was, you know, followed her out of
Speaker 8: college like all this just we were living together. Like
Speaker 8: it was just really deep into it.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you were really deep into a thing that
Speaker 1: was not working.
Speaker 8: It was there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Like
Speaker 8: I can't say that, like there was nothing, nothing wrong
Speaker 8: with relationship that it was just you know, I was
Speaker 8: watching porn behind the back. That's the main thing that
Speaker 8: I was doing.
Speaker 3: I was wrong.
Speaker 1: What do you are you dating anyone now, Dakota?
Speaker 8: Uh? Not currently?
Speaker 1: You know, man, listen, I think like if you could
Speaker 1: take away something from this experience as you navigate your
Speaker 1: relationships in the future, It's like, dude, if a thing
Speaker 1: is not working, it just sounded like this relationship was
Speaker 1: not working for you. But okay, I'm gonna give my
Speaker 1: thing of this. It's sounded like this relationship was not
Speaker 1: working for you, but you didn't want to leave because
Speaker 1: you were quote into deep and so instead of leaving
Speaker 1: because you're in too deep, you were like navigating to
Speaker 1: like figure out a way to get at what you desire.
Speaker 1: While still staying in it, which was like just next time,
Speaker 1: just leave next time. If it's not working out, just
Speaker 1: lea save both of you guys time and energy and leave.
Speaker 1: It's you're never in too deep. Okay, you don't own her,
Speaker 1: she doesn't own you. Things are be be be If
Speaker 1: you're gonna be in a relationship, be in it until
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out. If it's not working out, just leave.
Speaker 1: Why would you stay because you're quote into deep? That
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense to.
Speaker 8: Me, Like I I'm not like saying that I was,
Speaker 8: you know, sticking with her, like because I was in
Speaker 8: too deep, Like I had a lot of a lot
Speaker 8: of love for that girl. But she that this is
Speaker 8: like not like the deciding factor of our relationship of
Speaker 8: why it ended, Like it was her deciding that she
Speaker 8: needs to find herself and figure out what she wants life. Okay,
Speaker 8: good for her, Yeah, yeah, good, it is good for her.
Speaker 8: But it wasn't the truth. But you know, it's good
Speaker 8: that she saved my heart by.
Speaker 1: What what do you mean? It was in the truth,
Speaker 1: Like she's.
Speaker 8: Not really like looking for to find herself because she
Speaker 8: told me she was like trying to find a relationship
Speaker 8: already like two weeks after you broke up, like she
Speaker 8: was already talking to another dude from her class.
Speaker 1: Maybe talking to the other dude from her class was
Speaker 1: in her definition of finding herself part of that journey.
Speaker 1: But also at that point, but also but also at
Speaker 1: that point, when she tells you that and it becomes over,
Speaker 1: you no longer need to be dissecting the truthfulness of
Speaker 1: her statements. You know, at that point you should be
Speaker 1: moving on with your life.
Speaker 8: I definitely have. I definitely have since then.
Speaker 1: How long ago is this?
Speaker 8: Uh May of this year?
Speaker 3: Hmm?
Speaker 1: Okay, what's next for you, Dakota? What are you doing
Speaker 1: in your life.
Speaker 7: Currently?
Speaker 8: I like moved so, I like moved from my hometown
Speaker 8: six hours away to follow this girl college, and then
Speaker 8: now I moved an hour away from that spot, and
Speaker 8: I'm just you know, looking for I'm in college right now,
Speaker 8: so I'm just I'm taking a gap year and then
Speaker 8: going back to college because I couldn't apply to the
Speaker 8: same one I was going to because leaving.
Speaker 1: Listen, what I'm saying here is, you know, so much
Speaker 1: fucking easier said than done. Like, I very much empathize
Speaker 1: with the idea of being into deep too and that
Speaker 1: making you scared to make certain decisions. But I hope
Speaker 1: from this thing that you learn better to recognize as
Speaker 1: soon as you can when you are quote into deep
Speaker 1: and make the proper decision that saves you and the
Speaker 1: other person some time.
Speaker 8: Okay, Okay, that's fair?
Speaker 1: Does that? How do you feel about this conversation that
Speaker 1: we have had. I'm genuinely curious.
Speaker 8: I feel I feel, you know, I've learned a lesson
Speaker 8: for sure. That's no. I feel like I've I've gained
Speaker 8: something out of this.
Speaker 1: Okay, good, Good, Dakota. Is there anything else you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 8: Uh, hold on to your forever, like as long as possible.
Speaker 8: Like that's it doesn't last as long as you wanted to.
Speaker 8: That's all I gotta say.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Dakota.
Speaker 8: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Fucking Dakota. Was it said here? He was twenty? It
Speaker 1: sounded like maybe it was one of his first relaceships.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't I shouldn't be saying things
Speaker 1: like that. I shouldn't be assuming information, But yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess it can be scary when you feel as though
Speaker 1: you are in too deep into something to leave it.
Speaker 1: But fuck, man, sometimes you get your got you got to,
Speaker 1: you got to for, if not for your own sake,
Speaker 1: for the sake of the other people involved in the thing,
Speaker 1: you know. And I hope that girl did go on
Speaker 1: to uh fucking find herself and find whatever it is,
Speaker 1: if it's a relationship with somebody who is on the
Speaker 1: same wavelength with her about porn and about things like that,
Speaker 1: or if it's spending some time by herself, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: I hope. I hope she found her thing. I hope
Speaker 1: the Coda finds his thing and they both live happy,
Speaker 1: productive lives as human beings on the earth. I am
Speaker 1: a gecko. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 5: I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 1: What's what's going on?
Speaker 5: Okay? Oh my god? Sorry so shit, sorry dog. I've
Speaker 5: been calling her to try and talk about this. So basically,
Speaker 5: I got I got fired from my job a little
Speaker 5: while ago, in like September. I'm non binary, and uh
Speaker 5: my manager has kind of had an issue with that,
Speaker 5: like they were really disrespectful about it. Everyone else that
Speaker 5: worked there was really awesome. Like right now I'm with
Speaker 5: two of my best friends that I met there, and uh, yeah, sorry,
Speaker 5: I'm very nurse.
Speaker 1: No, it's okay, it's atual. We actually just had somebody
Speaker 1: uh call in who the exact same thing happened to them.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you heard that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we've been on we've been on this whole call
Speaker 5: and you said my name in the beginning, and we
Speaker 5: were like, that means sorry, I cussed that, that means something.
Speaker 1: You can cuss, but you can. Have you listened to
Speaker 1: the podcast, you can cuss.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're right, You're right, You're totally right.
Speaker 1: So okay, I mean so, so I kind of talked
Speaker 1: about it with with uh the caller who was who
Speaker 1: was a teacher that the same thing happened to them.
Speaker 1: What what is your story?
Speaker 5: Okay? So so basically I've had uh, I've had issues
Speaker 5: with them like the whole time. Like two of them
Speaker 5: were basically like, we're just straight up not gonna use
Speaker 5: your pronouns, like, uh, you know you look what you
Speaker 5: look very feminine presenting and normally I'm super understanding, like
Speaker 5: I uh, I am feminine presenting and like, but is
Speaker 5: people re feuzing to like use it? That pisses me
Speaker 5: off and bothers me. So I've always had an issue
Speaker 5: with that, and then this new man, this new manager,
Speaker 5: came in a little bit before and he was like, uh,
Speaker 5: he uh. He's basically always talking about how he's got
Speaker 5: a trans friend and he's super liberal, YadA YadA blah
Speaker 5: blah blah blah blah. And I wore like these ear rings,
Speaker 5: ones that were like they them, and it was to
Speaker 5: make them remember to use them. And he came up
Speaker 5: to me and he was like, oh, they them. I
Speaker 5: know a whole bunch of like adverbs and he just
Speaker 5: listed and shit's a fucking adverbs. Like to me, he
Speaker 5: just says really weird things like that. He'll corner people.
Speaker 5: He's known for being very like racist and homophoed, but
Speaker 5: a whole bunch of issues.
Speaker 1: So Jaden, No, it's like i'd actually finish the story.
Speaker 1: I I want to hear kind of where you're at.
Speaker 5: So basically one day it kind of compiled and I
Speaker 5: was trying to talk to them about how I needed
Speaker 5: to be paid, like with these new people are being
Speaker 5: paid anyway, it was a different thing that I wanted
Speaker 5: to talk about. So I told one of the different managers,
Speaker 5: I need to talk to the main dude who I
Speaker 5: said all these things about and so they started talking
Speaker 5: and one of my co workers came up to me
Speaker 5: and she was like, they're talking about you having a
Speaker 5: problem with using pronouns. I was like, what the fuck,
Speaker 5: that's how I know what I want to talk about,
Speaker 5: and so, uh, I was like whatever. I just kept
Speaker 5: doing my job. And then a little while later, they're
Speaker 5: like right behind me and he says trans people shouldn't
Speaker 5: play in sports, and fucking uh there's X chromos XYX
Speaker 5: chromoso and xx chromosome like right behind me. And also
Speaker 5: we worked in restaurants and it was right in front
Speaker 5: of customers and everything, a whole bunch of people, like
Speaker 5: very loudly, and I kind of turned around and I
Speaker 5: was like, you don't know what you're talking about. You
Speaker 5: don't need to say that shit like I'm I'm trans.
Speaker 5: You don't need to say that anywhere. You're a manager,
Speaker 5: shouldn't say that kind of stuff. And like I just
Speaker 5: kind of went off on him and like went to
Speaker 5: the back and took my little break because I was stressed,
Speaker 5: and then uh, you know, people came and consoled me.
Speaker 5: And then a little while later he was like, can
Speaker 5: we go talk outside for a little bit, and so
Speaker 5: he did, and he just talked for like, oh, I
Speaker 5: sort of got like an hour about how liberal he
Speaker 5: is and how like he didn't mean any of them,
Speaker 5: like it came across not what he meant, like he's
Speaker 5: got trans friends, and I was just me just argued
Speaker 5: basically careing back and forth for an hour.
Speaker 1: So, so, did did he end up firing you after this?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: So basically that happened a month before I got fired,
Speaker 5: and I called HR after this happened, and I reported
Speaker 5: him and that was the whole thing, and an investigation
Speaker 5: was held, I guess. But I wasn't really there when
Speaker 5: it happened. I was kind of out of town. I
Speaker 5: kind of didn't mean the planet like that. But it
Speaker 5: kind of worked out great because I'm kind of not great,
Speaker 5: Like I wouldn't want to go to work if I knew
Speaker 5: that I had to be dealing with that ship and
Speaker 5: so uh. But when I got back, everyone was like,
Speaker 5: I don't know, something might happen, you might be getting fired.
Speaker 5: I don't know, I don't know what's gonna happen. And
Speaker 5: then everyone just walked on, like all the managers kind
Speaker 5: of walked on eggshells around me, and it was really
Speaker 5: weird and then kind of like, I don't know how long.
Speaker 5: It wasn't that long later that I got fired.
Speaker 1: Okay, what was the reason that they gave you as
Speaker 1: to why they fired you?
Speaker 5: Oh right, okay, so that's a huge fucking deal. So
Speaker 5: uh so basically the week that it happened, I had
Speaker 5: already had issues where I was like, uh, missed the
Speaker 5: shift or something because I have like, uh, sorry, I
Speaker 5: have an autoimmune so other issues. It doesn't it's not
Speaker 5: about the note call show that I got fired, because
Speaker 5: there's some Yeah, it was synthas because basically in the
Speaker 5: beginning of the week I wasn't scheduled for this Friday shift,
Speaker 5: and then I had an issue where someone needed that
Speaker 5: shift covered and I was like, oh, I'm not working,
Speaker 5: so I can cover it. But it ended up getting
Speaker 5: covered so I didn't have to work, so it was
Speaker 5: clear I didn't have to work. And then Friday rolled
Speaker 5: around and I just happened to look to see if
Speaker 5: the schedule was up for next week, and I was
Speaker 5: like and then I looked at the schedule and I
Speaker 5: was I was supposed to be working Friday all of
Speaker 5: a sudden, when like not even two days ago in
Speaker 5: the week, like me, and a manager like me and
Speaker 5: a manager and a whole nother employee like confirmed that
Speaker 5: I was not working Friday, So all of a sudden,
Speaker 5: my schedule changed and then no one called me, and
Speaker 5: like normally, like the managers will call you like ten
Speaker 5: minutes if you're not there the first ten minutes of
Speaker 5: the shift, they'll call you and be like, hey, where
Speaker 5: are you at? And I didn't get that because I wasn't.
Speaker 5: I don't know, I wasn't like looking, I wasn't. I
Speaker 5: didn't think I was supposed to work, and no one
Speaker 5: called me.
Speaker 4: So uh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so this.
Speaker 1: Is this is what they used as the reason why
Speaker 1: they wanted to fire you.
Speaker 5: Yes exactly. I came in the next day and they fired.
Speaker 1: Me, okay, And and you believe that that that is
Speaker 1: a cover up for them just wanting to fire you
Speaker 1: because they didn't.
Speaker 5: You know, want want to Oh yeah, sorry.
Speaker 1: So so you know, like I said, we we had
Speaker 1: we had a call that was kind of similar to this,
Speaker 1: and so I, you know, I have similar questions for you.
Speaker 1: Are you planning on trying to take any further action
Speaker 1: to this?
Speaker 5: Totally? I already talked with like an attorney and off
Speaker 5: for it, and I just I'm basically just trying to
Speaker 5: get the money for it. Been working, you know, I
Speaker 5: had to get a new job, but it wasn't I
Speaker 5: had to get a job immediately because I have bills
Speaker 5: and stuff, so it wasn't exactly a good money enough.
Speaker 5: So I'm basically my friends, my best friends that I'm
Speaker 5: with now, they're we're all trying to raise money. They're
Speaker 5: going to help me be able to because once I
Speaker 5: I know, I'm going to win it. The attorney said
Speaker 5: that if I took it to court or even settled it,
Speaker 5: like I, it's a it's retaliation no matter what, Like
Speaker 5: even without the transphobia, it's retaliation. But I do live
Speaker 5: in the South, so it's kind of like, you know,
Speaker 5: we kind of want them to settle. I don't know
Speaker 5: if I want to if I anyways, but yeah, uh yeah,
Speaker 5: So I am trying to take legal action. I just
Speaker 5: I'm trying to save the money to do so.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that it sounds like your friends have been
Speaker 1: very supportive of you, and I'm sorry that that happened.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a whole bunch of bullshit to deal with.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are you kind of doing moving forward? Are you?
Speaker 1: Did you get a new job that you're more happy with?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm starting. I have been working at a vapes
Speaker 5: through because I just, you know, it was easy. But
Speaker 5: I'm starting a new job tomorrow, actually working with dogs.
Speaker 5: I love dogs, so yeah, and I've been writing a book,
Speaker 5: so I've just been like kind of able to take
Speaker 5: the time to myself. Actually it's kind of been a blessing,
Speaker 5: I guess, because.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm sorry to keep compare you to the
Speaker 1: other call ahead, but it was. It's interesting how you
Speaker 1: you both have a similar story because the other person
Speaker 1: I talked to about this, they felt like going after
Speaker 1: the person that fired them would like they felt as
Speaker 1: though it would cause them a lot of stress. Glad
Speaker 1: to hear that it doesn't. It doesn't. And I don't
Speaker 1: know because I haven't asked you about it yet, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like to me the process of suing
Speaker 1: these people is a detriment to you. It sounds like
Speaker 1: you're doing it, but at the same time, you are
Speaker 1: simultaneously moving along with your life and not letting their
Speaker 1: fixation on this situation that happened to you prevent you
Speaker 1: from going getting a new job, fucking working with dogs,
Speaker 1: doing your stuff, like living your life, and you're with
Speaker 1: your friends. It sounds like you've been able to kind
Speaker 1: of simultaneously do those things, which is I'm glad to
Speaker 1: hear that.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, I had a weird situation where I kind
Speaker 5: of ran into the managers outside of like just living life.
Speaker 5: That fucked me up a little bit, but I got
Speaker 5: past it because I have really good friends, a good
Speaker 5: support system.
Speaker 1: Good. That's awesome, Jade. And I hope that you. I
Speaker 1: hope that you win your case. I hope that the
Speaker 1: situation as a whole. And uh, I mean, look, I'm
Speaker 1: not worried about you, dude, because it seems like you're
Speaker 1: uh uh moving along in life just well just you know,
Speaker 1: without this being a sort of negative fixation for you
Speaker 1: at least. I don't know if that's true or not,
Speaker 1: but that's that's the vibe I'm getting from what you're
Speaker 1: telling me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, kind of. You know, it's stressful when I
Speaker 5: think about it, but like I said, my friends are
Speaker 5: always like, nah, for these people, we're going to take
Speaker 5: them to go it.
Speaker 6: Fuck the Yeah, Jaden.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you want to say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 5: I love your podcast. I love everything you do. Thank
Speaker 5: you so much. Every calling for like months to try
Speaker 5: to talk to you about this kind of awesome, like
Speaker 5: getting the validation from you and like, I don't know,
Speaker 5: hearing you say everything's gonna be okay, basically feel better.
Speaker 1: Well, Tom, I mean you don't even need me to
Speaker 1: tell you that. It sounds like you're doing very well.
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm good luck hanging out with all the dogs. Don't
Speaker 1: let them ye can spit on you unless if you
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 5: Oh I don't know, sometimes not by dogs. Still sorry, Yeah,
Speaker 5: no problem, have a good one.
Speaker 3: Never beacon goes on the line thinking your phone calls
Speaker 3: every night.
Speaker 1: Every beacon goes on the side.
Speaker 3: You're teaching you a cloud in the middle of your
Speaker 3: life that he's not ready.
Speaker 7: An expert