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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi, did you like just take a bong rip?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: Do I sound high? Well?

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Speaker 1: No, you to You opened up the call by well,

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Speaker 1: I mean, actually yes, now that you do sound high,

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Speaker 1: but you also you sound high, and you started off

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Speaker 1: the call by taking a coughing fit.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm not high.

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Speaker 1: That sounded like crying just now.

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Speaker 3: Actually, no, this is just so funny. I'm just so nervous.

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Speaker 1: Oh, okay, don't be nervous. Don't be nervous. This is funny.

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Speaker 1: This is objectively funny. You are on the phone with

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Speaker 1: a guy in a gecko costume. It's funny. I'll admit me.

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Speaker 3: This funny.

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Speaker 1: It's if you're in a funny situation.

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Speaker 3: Right now.

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Speaker 1: We're both in funny situations. Right now. I'm wearing a

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Speaker 1: gecko costume on the phone with a random guy. This

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Speaker 1: is pretty funny. I agree with that, Gwenna. It says

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Speaker 1: here that it says here that you are thinking about

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Speaker 1: committing yourself to celibacy, and you wanted to talk through that.

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Speaker 1: Why are you thinking about committing yourself to celibacy? Dwayne?

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Speaker 3: All right, So should I just get right into it.

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Speaker 2: Recently, I've just been I've just been having a lot more,

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Speaker 2: like a lot more sex, you know, and like it's

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Speaker 2: it's actually crazy because the thing is, so I'm I'm nineteen, right.

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Speaker 3: I When I was in high school, I was like

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Speaker 3: really fucking ugly, you know, and I didn't really have

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Speaker 3: a whole lot of sex. But then like a few

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Speaker 3: months after I graduated high school, you know, I started

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Speaker 3: hooking up more and then maybe a little bit more,

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Speaker 3: and like the last like I would say, six to

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Speaker 3: eight months, you know, I've just been like hooking up

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Speaker 3: so much and it's actually and it's crazy, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean. And the thing is I hate it,

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Speaker 3: you know, like I hate it.

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Speaker 1: Let me, can I answer you a question?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, actually you know what I feel like you give

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Speaker 1: me a top line right now. I want to finish

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Speaker 1: your top line and then I have questions.

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Speaker 3: All right, So I hate it, you know. But like

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Speaker 3: the thing is, like I just this is gonna sound

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Speaker 3: so weird, but like I love I love the way

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Speaker 3: sex feels, and I'm actually like really good at it.

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Speaker 3: Like it's it's so it's so funny, Like it's actually crazy.

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Speaker 3: I've just been having a lot more sex lately, and

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Speaker 3: I just I kind of hate it. You know like

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Speaker 3: it's actually I just I hate it, Okay, Like it's

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Speaker 3: the point where it's going to the point where like

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Speaker 3: I'll be like driving home after like I'm done looking

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Speaker 3: up with someone, and like I'll just be on the

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Speaker 3: ridge of tears, you know what I mean, because I'm like, damn,

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Speaker 3: like what am I doing with myself? Like am I

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Speaker 3: really just going out and just doing all this for me?

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Speaker 3: Because it's meaningless, you know, like I'll never hit up

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Speaker 3: the person after, or maybe we'll talk one more time after,

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Speaker 3: but that's pretty much it, you know, like that's the

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Speaker 3: only interaction I'll have, and you know, I just feel

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Speaker 3: like shit, you know, like it's it's it's wild.

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Speaker 1: So how you said you've been kind of doing this

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Speaker 1: for eight months?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, like the last I would say, like

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Speaker 3: the last eight months, I've been doing it a lot more.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So tell me how long into At what point

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Speaker 1: in that eight month period do you realize that you

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Speaker 1: hated it?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 3: I first realized this maybe like three weeks ago. I

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Speaker 3: was hooking up with this one person. And the thing

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Speaker 3: that made me start to hate it more was she

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Speaker 3: actually had a boyfriend and he called he like he

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Speaker 3: called her like right, like while we're in the middle

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Speaker 3: of like hooking up, right, we're fucking, and like when

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Speaker 3: we're done, she's like, oh shit, Like that's like my

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Speaker 3: boyfriend called him, like, oh shit, you have a fucking boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: And at that moment I would just sort of realize.

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Speaker 3: I was like, damn, like I really like that. That's

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Speaker 3: the moment I realized, like I I just hated hooking

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Speaker 3: up with people. And so recently, like within like the

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Speaker 3: last few I would say, last few days, I would

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Speaker 3: I recently started considering maybe I should, you know, like

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Speaker 3: commit myself to celibacy, not not not for like not forever,

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Speaker 3: not forever or anything, but like until I find until

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Speaker 3: I know, until I am in a long term relationship,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: Okay m hm. So you said you at some point

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Speaker 1: recently were hooked up with someone and you were driving

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Speaker 1: home and you started crying, like it got that bad.

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Speaker 3: I was on the Virgin tiars. I was on the

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Speaker 3: Virgin Tiars.

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Speaker 1: Can I hear like when you were on the verge

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Speaker 1: of tears, what like what were you thinking? What were

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Speaker 1: you feeling?

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Speaker 3: I was just thinking how much I hated myself, Like

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Speaker 3: how well I don't want to say hated myself, but

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Speaker 3: like how much I felt like like an object? I

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Speaker 3: guess okay, I don't really know, Like I just felt

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Speaker 3: so bad because it was just a meaningless interaction that

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Speaker 3: I had, and I kept doing it, you know, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, why am I doing this? It's just like

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Speaker 3: there's just nothing there, you know, but I'm still doing it,

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Speaker 3: and that sort of just made me feel I feel

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Speaker 3: like that.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask you this. You were going on a

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Speaker 1: little bit ago before I yelled at you about talking

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Speaker 1: to the chat about talking about how you liked doing it,

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Speaker 1: because you gave me a few things. You said you

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Speaker 1: didn't feel confident in high school. You're more confident now.

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Speaker 1: You were telling me that you felt like you were

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Speaker 1: good at it. There was amazing thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So in high school or like actually like the

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Speaker 3: I don't want to say, just high school, like the

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Speaker 3: vast majority of my life except within like the last

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Speaker 3: like a litt less than a year, like the last

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Speaker 3: year or so, I was I've been like really unconfident.

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Speaker 3: I was I'm not gonna I was really ugly, really

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Speaker 3: like really nerdy, you know, and now like now I'm

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Speaker 3: much more attractive now, I have more confidence, you know,

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Speaker 3: so all those things that weren't available for me, you know,

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Speaker 3: I eat sex, all that that, like that that wasn't

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Speaker 3: available for me.

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Speaker 1: Now I mean, are you available?

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Speaker 3: Because like it's not like I have like women to

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Speaker 3: pick and choo from, but like, oh now I have

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Speaker 3: more of an opportunity to have sex, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean?

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Speaker 1: Sure? And so now you're feeling are you feeling as

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Speaker 1: though you are like making up for lost time or

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Speaker 1: trying to take heavy advantage of this this newfound confidence

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Speaker 1: in how you look? Is that a sort of a

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Speaker 1: symptom of this?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, because what if it goes away? You know,

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Speaker 3: like what if I'm never gonna have this opportunity to

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Speaker 3: have sex again or like have But like that's what

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Speaker 3: part of me is thinking, and like the other part

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Speaker 3: of me is thinking, like, but I don't want to

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Speaker 3: have all this meaningless that.

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Speaker 1: Why did you when you were and you can tell

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Speaker 1: me whatever, The honest answer to this is why did

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Speaker 1: you want to bring up that you felt like you

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Speaker 1: were good at it? How does that?

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Speaker 3: Like? I just thought that was funny, But like I'm not,

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Speaker 3: like I'm pretty good. I like I like to think

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty good at it. But that's just that's just

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Speaker 3: that's just my opinion, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, Okay, I like to think. I'm like, so this

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Speaker 1: is like this is like a validation. Is this like

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Speaker 1: a validation thing? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because I didn't have that, you know, I

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Speaker 3: never had that validation all of my life actually, except

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Speaker 3: that at this point I'm like, oh now people are

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Speaker 3: attracted to me, Now people want me. This is great, right,

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Speaker 3: But no, it's actually not great.

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Speaker 1: And what it's and you know what's funny is that,

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Speaker 1: like you think that like having sex with a bunch

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Speaker 1: of people like gets you the validation. It's not going

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Speaker 1: to get you the fact, because the validation is the

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Speaker 1: actual true validation. We it's never going to come from

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Speaker 1: anywhere except you know, something very internal. I think I stupid, but.

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Speaker 3: No, I agree with you because I had a lot

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Speaker 3: of friends that that, you know, when we were seniors

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Speaker 3: in high scho well, they you know, started having a

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Speaker 3: lot more sex and they were like and they felt

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Speaker 3: the same way. They were like because I, you know,

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Speaker 3: I was like the last one of my friend group

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Speaker 3: to lose my virginity and they were like doing trust me,

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Speaker 3: like it's it's not worth it. Like you don't want this,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, all my friends are actually like they're

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Speaker 3: they're really gorgeous, you know, like they're all super handsome,

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Speaker 3: they're incredibly good looking. So I'm like, you know, well,

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Speaker 3: of course you can say that because you can have

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Speaker 3: literally anyone you want. Literally look in the mirror like

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Speaker 3: you're so hot, you know, but I'm not, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean. And then now I'm at that point

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Speaker 3: where I'm realizing, Damn, they're kind of right. You know

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Speaker 3: what's crazy, Lyle, Every every girl, every know, every person

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Speaker 3: that I've had sex with, I've met off a dating app,

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Speaker 3: like I've never It's it's so wild.

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Speaker 1: Kay, I have to I have to bring something up right.

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Speaker 1: I have to bring something up right now that I

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Speaker 1: think about that I really want to draw attention to

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Speaker 1: I'm imagining right now, I'm a mad and maybe this

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Speaker 1: is whoever's is I'm imagining right now somebody who never

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Speaker 1: has sex, like a young I'm imagining right now, a

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Speaker 1: young dude who never has sex that's listening to this

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Speaker 1: call and is pissed off at you, and let me

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Speaker 1: finish about this is who's upset and they're set and

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Speaker 1: they're thinking like, oh, easy for you to say, Oh,

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Speaker 1: you just came into brag with this and that, and

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Speaker 1: I'm imagining it, and I want to just say, if

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Speaker 1: that's you and you're listening to this right now, you

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Speaker 1: have to under like the fact that you're coming on

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Speaker 1: here and you're saying, I am a young, attractive dude

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Speaker 1: and I'm having a ton of sex and I'm and

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Speaker 1: it's not the fucking answer. Isn't that what you would

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Speaker 1: want to hear If you're a young guy hung up

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Speaker 1: on not having sex with anyone? What don't you want

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Speaker 1: to hear from somebody? Wouldn't you want to hear from someone, Oh, hey,

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Speaker 1: I actually have the thing that you're obsessed with. Like

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Speaker 1: I I I I have lost my virginia. I have

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Speaker 1: the thing that you're obsessed with, and it is it

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Speaker 1: wasn't the answer to the problems that you think it's

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Speaker 1: the answer to. Isn't that what you would want to hear?

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Speaker 1: I I you know, so we're all on this consensus

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Speaker 1: that this thing that's held in such a high regard,

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Speaker 1: which is having sex with what, it's not the answer,

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Speaker 1: is not the answer. So I wanted to bring that up.

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Speaker 1: This is a thing because I'm.

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it somebody.

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Speaker 1: Who doesn't have sex with a lot of people that's

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Speaker 1: that's listening to this, and it's just like that's what

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Speaker 1: you would want to us, ask anyone thing that you're

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Speaker 1: fixated on is really not the fucking thing IN need

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Speaker 1: to fixate on. But back to you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And now I'm at this point where I'm like,

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Speaker 3: maybe I should just stop, you know, because the last

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Speaker 3: time I had sex was just a few days ago,

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Speaker 3: and I was just out of it the whole time,

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Speaker 3: you know, like I was not into it, Like I

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Speaker 3: was not into her at all, Like I was just

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Speaker 3: like the whole time, I was just like damn, Like

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Speaker 3: in my mind, I was just thinking, damn, what the

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Speaker 3: actual fuck am I doing right now? Like I should

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Speaker 3: just stop. So I was just like, hey, can we stop?

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Speaker 3: And then like I left, and now I came to

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Speaker 3: that realism. Now I came to that really I was

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Speaker 3: told I was telling you about earlier. I'm like, maybe

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Speaker 3: I should just commit myself to celibacy until you know,

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Speaker 3: like I find a long term partner or until I

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Speaker 3: find someone who I want to who I really want

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Speaker 3: to be with. You know.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, man, I think just.

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Speaker 3: This emotionless emotion this emotionless, this meaningless, emotionless sex is

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Speaker 3: just draining me mentally, you know, like I I hate it.

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Speaker 1: Well, well, Dwayne Man, I think that if hm, if

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Speaker 1: that's what you feel like you should do, you should

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Speaker 1: do it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're right, I should.

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Speaker 1: Oh, No, I gave so I told. I said, I

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Speaker 1: wasn't going to give I said, I wasn't going to

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Speaker 1: tell people to do.

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Speaker 3: But no, no, no, I was. I was already gonna I

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Speaker 3: was going to do this. I was to do that.

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Speaker 3: I just wanted a second opinion.

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Speaker 1: You know, well, Dan, I'm glad to hear that you

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Speaker 1: have sort of self diagnosed your your problem and are

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Speaker 1: making uh an effort to to fix it. And I

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Speaker 1: and again I like I, like I said, when I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you about how I'm thinking about somebody who who

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Speaker 1: does not have a lot of sex and that that

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Speaker 1: takes up a lot of their headspace I'm imagining, I'm

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Speaker 1: like thinking about this call from their filter. And I

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Speaker 1: think it's a helpful thing you sharing this experience, because again,

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Speaker 1: it adds further evidence to the idea that you know,

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Speaker 1: the solution to life's problems likely does not here I go.

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Speaker 1: I'm saying some hippie ship that the solution to life's

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Speaker 1: problems does not lie in anything external. Yeah, but adds

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Speaker 1: on your podcast if if, if the solution to life's

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Speaker 1: problems doesn't lie in anything external, because I like buying

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Speaker 1: candy bars in bulk and eating all of them because

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Speaker 1: it helps me forget about my problems for a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Well, I just wanted to say thank you. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: I'm a plat the stream and feel like I watch it.

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Speaker 3: I watch it most most most things, and I was

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Speaker 3: once affections.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Dayne? Is the anything else you

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Speaker 1: want to say to the people of the computer before

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Speaker 1: we go?

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Speaker 3: No, I just want to say thank you and uh yeah,

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Speaker 3: thank you. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: But see, this would be a great place to put

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Speaker 1: a podcast ad right here. Hello while the Hi? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: who is this?

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Speaker 6: This is Leroy?

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Speaker 1: How's it gone? Leroy?

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Speaker 4: Good?

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Speaker 6: How are you doing tonight?

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Speaker 1: I'm a gecko on the computer?

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Speaker 7: Man?

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Speaker 1: How can I how can I get you this evening?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 6: I I have an issue that I'm kind of upstanding about.

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Speaker 4: Sorry.

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Speaker 6: You might hear my cat in the background. He's a

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Speaker 6: bit annoysy yeah. Yeah, I'm up sick because I want

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Speaker 6: to be your friends in like a real life, genuine

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Speaker 6: human chicken on each other way. But I understand that

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Speaker 6: that's like a parasocial friends fantasy because you I I

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Speaker 6: like the portrayal you put forward of yourself on the internet.

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Speaker 1: It's true, it's true. Is that it? I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you're done talking?

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Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, that's it.

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Speaker 1: See it's interesting. I've I barely even I barely even

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Speaker 1: hang out with my own with my friends in real life.

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Speaker 1: To be honest, I guess I don't. I don't do

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Speaker 1: friends the way that most people do. Maybe I don't

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Speaker 1: know if that's true. No, that's probably not true. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: let's see, you want to be friends with me, but

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Speaker 1: you feel as though it is it is impossible. Well like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you live in New Zealand, right.

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Speaker 3: Do Yeah?

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Speaker 1: See you know, look, I feel like I'm I'm not

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Speaker 1: a good like. I think the fantasy that we would

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Speaker 1: text each other all the time and like, you know,

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Speaker 1: be really major parts of each other's lives is almost

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Speaker 1: certainly not going to happen. But I don't know. If

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Speaker 1: I go to New Zealand, it's un realistic. But if

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Speaker 1: I go to New Zealand, I do a show, I'm

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Speaker 1: hanging out afterwards. You know, maybe maybe we'd hang out.

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Speaker 1: I could hang out with anyone, because hanging out is

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Speaker 1: like a it's an easy or real commitment. There like

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Speaker 1: I can't be in your life and I can't even

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Speaker 1: promise you i'd hang out with you because you live

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Speaker 1: in New Zealand's but I'm thinking my head. If I

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Speaker 1: ever went to New Zealand, I did a show, was

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Speaker 1: hanging out at the bar afterwards, we did a whole thing.

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Speaker 1: We could hang out. We could have a genuine human

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Speaker 1: conversation with each other. I could see that happening. I

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Speaker 1: would be I would enjoy that. Actually that would be fun.

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Speaker 1: But no, there's no I don't think that we would

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Speaker 1: become any sort of close lasting friends, even if you

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Speaker 1: are for many reasons, not had many many reasons that

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Speaker 1: have nothing to that have nothing at all to do

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Speaker 1: with who you are as a person. Does that make sense?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Like, even just logistically, it's not a match made

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Speaker 6: in heaven. I think I think the the just meeting

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Speaker 6: and having a human conversation would probably satisfy you was crazy.

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Speaker 1: A lot you could you could be like the perfect

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Speaker 1: kind of dude that I would be friends with, and

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Speaker 1: we still I still wouldn't. I don't think it would

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Speaker 1: happen because for many just logistical reasons.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it's it's a frustrating thing with celebrities in general,

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Speaker 6: I think because they share, like they bear their soul

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Speaker 6: and the art they share with us, and you feel

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Speaker 6: like you know them, but then like, yeah, it's obvious

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Speaker 6: that there's a stand up there at the stop where

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Speaker 6: if you're a fan of them, you can even really

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Speaker 6: have a genuine human friendship because you're always chasing the

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Speaker 6: image not the reality.

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Speaker 1: And it's funny, you know, it's funny, is I am?

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Speaker 1: This isn't even a thing of like you know, streamer

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Speaker 1: viewer thing. I think just in my life, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm very non committal with most of my relationships, be

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Speaker 1: they you know, any kind, and I'm very much like

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Speaker 1: I'm if I'm with you, Like if you and I

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Speaker 1: were staying at a bar and we were talking to

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Speaker 1: each other, I'd be like, Okay, in this moment that

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Speaker 1: I'm staring at you and we're with each other, I'm

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Speaker 1: with you right now. We're homies. But I only I

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Speaker 1: can only ever guarantee the moment. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: I can only even with my real life friends, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I can only ever guarantee the moment. You know,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I can't, Like I couldn't commit to

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Speaker 1: a package of six consecutive weekends that I'll hang out

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Speaker 1: with my real life friends. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: I can only commit to the moment that I'm in.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a problem. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if that's a function the way that I live my life,

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Speaker 1: but that's how I feel about my real life friends

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Speaker 1: as well.

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Speaker 6: I feel like that's kind of beautiful, though, because that

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Speaker 6: teaches you to say everything you're living for the exact

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Speaker 6: now that you're experiencing, instead of chasing something that might

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Speaker 6: be better that probably isn't.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, for sure, I like having this conversation

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Speaker 1: with you so much more than if I were just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course I'll be a friend, because that's I don't

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Speaker 1: want to lie to you.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm genuinely really grateful for the moment we're sharing now,

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Speaker 6: Like I've just had a day off work and decided

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Speaker 6: to pull in and thought, oh, there's no way. And

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Speaker 6: then I'm talking to you now, which doesn't feel real,

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Speaker 6: but I'm great.

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Speaker 4: It's true.

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Speaker 1: We're in that we are with each other in this

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Speaker 1: moment right now. I can promise I cannot promise a

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Speaker 1: moment outside of this one, but I can promise to

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Speaker 1: be in this phone call that we are on currently.

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Speaker 3: Hmmm.

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Speaker 6: I really like that. This is a it's it's it's

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Speaker 6: a memory that I'm currently creating but already cherishing.

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Speaker 1: I canna ask you this, why have you Is there

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Speaker 1: anything that you that like, let's say we were, you know,

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Speaker 1: lifelong friends, right what uh? What is there anything you

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Speaker 1: would want to talk about like now that like we're

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Speaker 1: in this moment currently.

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Speaker 6: I I I like what you said before about the

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Speaker 6: sharing moments of people. I like the friendships where we

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Speaker 6: can comfortably together in a room doing completely separate things,

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Speaker 6: but just merely sharing the space with the person feels

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Speaker 6: like the bonding experience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of, it does kind of feel like what

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Speaker 1: we're doing right now, because you're in a different, complete,

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Speaker 1: other continent and yeah, we're just sitting here on the phone.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like we're in We're in completely like we're

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Speaker 6: probably about as Parley from each other as we could be,

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Speaker 6: but we're both focused.

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Speaker 3: On you know, the person I like that.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a Do you have a lot of

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Speaker 1: friends in real life?

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Speaker 6: Laurie uh Leroy and I I have. I have a

404
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Speaker 6: couple of very close screams and then a lot of friends.

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Speaker 1: You know, have you ever heard the parts?

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Speaker 6: And a lot of people I see really.

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Speaker 1: From the guy and he's like, sometimes if somebody gets

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Speaker 1: too friendly with me, I'll call them by the wrong name.

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Speaker 1: I didn't do that intentionally, but I had that Sorry

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Speaker 1: you were you were saying real things to me, and

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Speaker 1: I interrupted it said, stupid things you were telling me

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Speaker 1: about your friends in real life?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I have a I have a small handful of

414
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Speaker 6: very close screams that I would like share secrets and

415
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Speaker 6: being my soul worth. And then a lot of people

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Speaker 6: that I see very regularly that I enjoy seeing and

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Speaker 6: I think, I guess you could call them friends for

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Speaker 6: this the people I really I enjoy seeing, not someone

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Speaker 6: i'd go to.

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Speaker 1: And are you satisfied with the friendship sphere of your

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Speaker 1: life currently?

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Speaker 6: I am. I reflect on that sometimes of like, I'm

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00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 6: I'm happy with my circle, and that doesn't mean it's closed,

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Speaker 6: but the people that I have are quite cope.

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Speaker 1: I like that.

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Speaker 3: I like that.

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00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: Well, fuck all right, ship, maybe if I come to

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00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 1: New Zealand's maybe we can maybe maybe we can hang out.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I'd love to hang out.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, we can. We'll figure that out. I'm

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00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 1: gonna try. Well, I'm going to Australia. Don't know how

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00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: far that is. Come there, let me make it.

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Speaker 6: It's it's it's like a three hour flat okay, depending

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Speaker 6: on where in Australia you.

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Speaker 1: Go, Lauria. Is there anything else you want to say

436
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Speaker 1: to the people of the computer before we go?

437
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 6: No, I've been in a completely favorite room to where

438
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 6: I had the string going. Just talken to here. But

439
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,679
Speaker 6: I don't want to say thank you to your sharing

440
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 6: this moment with me. This is I I never expected

441
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,439
Speaker 6: it and it's been really facial.

442
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for sharing this moment with me as well.

443
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: Hopefully I'll see you when I go down under. That

444
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 1: sounded sexual, hopefully, but actually it did. It'sunded sexual. After

445
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 1: I said that, thank you for calling is it Lee Roy? Leroy?

446
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 3: Lee Roy?

447
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: Think of calling Leroy?

448
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 6: Thank you?

449
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 3: Lyle? Sorry?

450
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 1: Kick you know what, Leroy? I feel like we reached

451
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 1: a level in our relationship where if you truly desire,

452
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 1: you can call me Lyle Hello, Hey, Hi is this Liz.

453
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 4: If you'm not Secrifer Elizabeth?

454
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 1: But that's okay, What's what's going on with you? How

455
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: can I get you today?

456
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:10,159
Speaker 4: Well, about a month ago or so, I had friends

457
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,160
Speaker 4: that just called me on a whim and were like, Hey,

458
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 4: do you want to jump out of an airplane with me?

459
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 4: And I was like yes, So I met that we

460
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 4: like met halfway from where we lived, and we jumped

461
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 4: out and it was the greatest thing that's ever happened

462
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 4: to me.

463
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:22,120
Speaker 6: Honestly.

464
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:26,919
Speaker 4: It was like I'm an adrenaline junkie and I almost

465
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 4: bailed and then I did it, And like, ever since

466
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 4: then that the rest of my life has just been.

467
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 6: Like really boring.

468
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 1: Okay, so you went skydiving and then ever since, your

469
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: rest of your life has been very boring.

470
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 3: Correct.

471
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 4: So, and I had like not loved my job and

472
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 4: like actually working towards getting my dive master in scuba

473
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 4: diving to like potentially dabble in that.

474
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 6: The problem is.

475
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 4: The biggest problem is like I maybe you know, I'm

476
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 4: make a ton of money at my job, but I

477
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,880
Speaker 4: would make a lot more than I do in any

478
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 4: other way. And my husband just bought a business, so

479
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 4: like all of my money is there. So I'm like

480
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 4: having this struggle of like do I stay with my

481
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 4: corporate job that is so boring, that's the feeling, or

482
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 4: but then I can't find a plan to get where

483
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 4: I want?

484
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 1: If that makes sense, tell me what it is that

485
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: you want. Where are you trying to get to?

486
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:37,199
Speaker 4: I mean, honestly, like best case scenario. I mean, honestly,

487
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 4: the best case scenario would be to like marry rich

488
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 4: and that I could just do what I want. But

489
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 4: the last I married ambition, and that's someone's out.

490
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 1: You married, you married, you tried to get in early.

491
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: You married someone with the potential to get rich, right.

492
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 4: So then you know, it turns out he's like a

493
00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 4: socialist and believes in like creating his company and he

494
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 4: is like employee owned and sharing all the profits with

495
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 4: the employees.

496
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: So, oh my god, I don't know you You you

497
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: married the wrong guy if you're looking to get I know.

498
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 4: So we're gonna let that one ride for a couple

499
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 4: more years and see how that played out. So which

500
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 4: means I need to come up with a plan.

501
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, so you're gonna let that one ride, see

502
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: how it plays out, and in the meantime, you're gonna

503
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 1: come up with a plan. Okay. So I mean, listen, Liz,

504
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: what what do you want to do with your time?

505
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 4: I mean, I just want to feel like I'm contributing positively,

506
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 4: Like right now I'm literally a number and like I

507
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 4: help a lot of people, but the people that tech

508
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm just like I'm a pawn in a

509
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 4: corporate corporation in it. Yeah, it feels horrible.

510
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm. Okay, So again listen, We're we we know

511
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 1: what you don't want to do. Uh, we know you

512
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: don't want to be a cog in the courtor machine.

513
00:28:58,920 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: But what do you want to do?

514
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 3: Lives?

515
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 4: I mean, if I could really do anything, it would

516
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 4: be if like skydiving instructor.

517
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: Like.

518
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 4: I'm you know, dive scuba diving instructor, but that would

519
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 4: require moving to the ocean and again business. I just

520
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 4: I want to do something where I feel like I'm

521
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 4: making an impact so like and pays me well, so

522
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 4: that I can do all the time.

523
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: Well, if you're a skydiving instructor, I would hope you're

524
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: not making an impact.

525
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 6: A good one.

526
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: Okay, So you want to make an impact. I mean,

527
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 1: what else? What else? What are some things that you

528
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: feel like you could do to make an impact?

529
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 4: I mean, here's the problem. There's a million things that

530
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 4: I could do to make an impact. And I'm sure,

531
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 4: like in a lot of ways. Whatever, It's just that

532
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 4: I have, like my securities, licenses, like my so I do,

533
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 4: like work in the financial industry. It just took me

534
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 4: so long to get here. So it's like all of

535
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 4: the things that I wanted to do that I would

536
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 4: want to do would be I guess it's the fear

537
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 4: of starting over. I think it's really my biggest ruddle.

538
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 4: Like this would require me going a night class, is

539
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 4: not doing anything except hustling, and it would take me

540
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 4: like another five years, right, and then.

541
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: Well, can I say I have I mean, it sounds

542
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: it doesn't It sounds like the only way forward is

543
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 1: to start over. Right. If you're it is in this

544
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 1: job that you don't like, I mean, you could either

545
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 1: start over or you know, be unhappy for the next

546
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: you know, sixty years just pushing paper and doing your

547
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: financial job. So, I mean, starting over is really the

548
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: only chance you have it doing a thing that will

549
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 1: make you remotely happy.

550
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: No.

551
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 4: I mean the flip side is because the job is easy.

552
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 4: There is zero stress, and I make decent money because

553
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 4: like do I just suck it up and ride the

554
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 4: corporate train and like that pays me to do like

555
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 4: I can afford to do the things that I want

556
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 4: to do.

557
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 1: Does your job have flexibility?

558
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 4: I kind of like they just started telling us, like

559
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 4: we have to signal our break now.

560
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: You know, so do you can you make money?

561
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 3: Like?

562
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: All right, these things that you say you're don't have

563
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 1: to start over doing, like being a skydive a instructor

564
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: or scuba instructor, Like can you not pursue these things

565
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: while you are still employed with the financial company?

566
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 4: Right? And I totally can. It's just then it ends

567
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 4: up in a place where I'm qualified to make not

568
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 4: very much money, but I have a lot of fun.

569
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: You should all you should try to brainwash your husband

570
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: into becoming a capitalist and that way you can still

571
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: kind of have that as a backup in case if

572
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: none of this works.

573
00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 8: I know, I think could happen.

574
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 4: He owns a bike shop, Like it's here back.

575
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: I feel like, how rich can you really get owning

576
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: a bike shop.

577
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 4: You can't there, we.

578
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 6: Like he can, he can.

579
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 7: You know, we get a lot of discounts on the side,

580
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 7: Like we're big matain bikers, you know.

581
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 4: Him do that kind of thing, So we get all

582
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 4: the discounts on that too, which helps the game care well.

583
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: I don't know if being rich and getting discounts on

584
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: bicycles are the same thing, but they are. It's not nothing, right,

585
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: but just to.

586
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 7: Like a little side bar here. While I was on

587
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 7: with Brie, shout out to Brie, Happy birthday, Bres. She

588
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 7: we kind of had a chat about it because I

589
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 7: think she's having similar feelings about not.

590
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 4: Being airscreen collar but for other occupation. And we came

591
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 4: to the conclusion that I should just learn to be

592
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 4: a mermaid.

593
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: Learned. I don't know if being a mermaid is something

594
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 1: that you can learn how to do. I think you

595
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 1: have to be born.

596
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 4: That is that were you born at?

597
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 3: Get go.

598
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: Touche uh li. Is there anything else you want to

599
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go?

600
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 4: No, that was it, but yeah, thank you, thanks for calling.

601
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 6: Thanks man.

602
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: I hope I hope that that woman either gets a

603
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 1: new job or divorce or I don't know whatever it

604
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: is that'll make her happy in life. Hello, Hello, what's up?

605
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 3: All right?

606
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 1: That was not you? Try that was what's that was

607
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: not anything? That was the That was not even a noise?

608
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 3: Did you?

609
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: I said, all right, all right, you started with not

610
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 1: a noise and then we got to a noise. I

611
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: feel like we are on an upward trajectory towards words,

612
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 1: perhaps even sentences.

613
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,800
Speaker 8: Yeah, those developed perhaps could happen.

614
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 1: Okay, what is your name?

615
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:27,760
Speaker 8: I am Dakota.

616
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: You are Dakota. Okay, that's a full sentence. Yeah, I

617
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: was right. We did it.

618
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 8: We got there.

619
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 1: What's going on with you, Dakota?

620
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 8: Uh No, I just got a new job and I'm

621
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 8: just just working at the moment. That's all I got.

622
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 8: I mean, nothing crazy going on.

623
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 1: That's not true. You called and to talk to me

624
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:53,760
Speaker 1: about something, didn't you.

625
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 4: Well?

626
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 8: Yes, but that's it was.

627
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 3: In the past.

628
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: Okay. What is it the I called in today?

629
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 8: I called in today to talk about my my ex

630
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 8: that believe that porn was cheating. That was her her theory,

631
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 8: and the whole time she had this theory, I was

632
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 8: watching porn behind her back. So some would say I

633
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 8: was cheating.

634
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 1: Hm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mm hmmm. Okay, how long did you do

635
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: it this person for?

636
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 8: Uh, I'm gonna I'm gonna round up and say four years.

637
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 1: You had her for four years and the whole time

638
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: you were watching porn.

639
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 8: Uh yeah, I mean there's likely there's like three months

640
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 8: where I.

641
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: Wasn't Okay, how deep into the relationship that she said?

642
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: Did she tell you that she believes that watching porn

643
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 1: was cheating.

644
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 8: I'm gonna say a solid like two months into it,

645
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 8: and like it just came up in a conversation and

646
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 8: she was like, uh, you know, I don't really like it.

647
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 8: I think it paints women in negative light. I was like, yeah,

648
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 8: I agree, you know, and she's like, I don't feel

649
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 8: comfortable with you watching it. Okay, I'll stop watching it.

650
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 8: And then but she came up another time and she

651
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 8: talked about it, and I was like, I mean, yeah,

652
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 8: I still watch it, and then she started crying. Yeah.

653
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 1: Mm so I mean, okay, look, every relationship they're cheating

654
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: is not some like objective, standardized metric across the world,

655
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 1: you know. I mean people argue about this all the time.

656
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 1: They're like, is dancing with someone cheating? Is flirting with

657
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 1: so much the answer, and some there are there are

658
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 1: some relationships where the couples have decided that each other

659
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: can have sex with other people and that's not cheating,

660
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 1: and then that's that's on one side okay. And then

661
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: on the other side of the spectrum, there are are

662
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 1: couples who have decided that, such as in your case,

663
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: watching porn is cheating, and so it's really up to

664
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: the people in the relationship to set their own standards

665
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: of what they're cool with and the quota. Listen, ah am,

666
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: you know, undeniably there was a boundary set, and undeniably

667
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 1: you did knowingly break that boundary.

668
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 8: That is that is a hard truth.

669
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 1: Except yes, how did you guys talk about this? What

670
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 1: was the conversation?

671
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 8: Like, uh, you know, it was it was a long

672
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 8: time ago, but it was just you know, normal at first,

673
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 8: and like, I don't know, just came up into conversation

674
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 8: talking about like porn and just saying she does not

675
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 8: like it, she is not like people watching it. She

676
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 8: thinks it's terrible. But then there's also that time like recently,

677
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 8: like before the breakup, she was like, oh, you know,

678
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 8: I'm making only fans, Like why not so she would

679
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 8: dive into porn herself. But when it watch it, I don't.

680
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 8: I don't know.

681
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 1: Okay, Uh, well, I mean listen, what none of that stuff,

682
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 1: whether or not she would say she makes an only fans.

683
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, the girl told you point blank. So

684
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 1: can I listen to Kota? I think here's next time

685
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: what you should do. Okay, if you start a relationship

686
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: with someone and they're like, okay, if we are going

687
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 1: to be in an exclusive relationship, if we have decided

688
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 1: I'm your girlfriends, you're my boyfriend's vibes, and we are

689
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 1: writing the contract of our relationship, and I'm letting you

690
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 1: know that I want this in the contract. I'm communicating

691
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: that to you. If at the time that contract is

692
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 1: being written you disagree adamantly with that that clause that

693
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 1: she would like to be in the contract, You've got

694
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: to make that clear ahead of time.

695
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 8: Okay, what is your thoughts on all of this? Well,

696
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 8: there's another aspect to it.

697
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: I mean, tell me the other answer.

698
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 8: Putting out she was not putting out like we're twenty,

699
00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 8: you know, I feel like at this ripe age, we

700
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 8: should be you know, experimenting, we should be you know,

701
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 8: doing all these things and that was just not happening

702
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:07,319
Speaker 8: for weeks on end.

703
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: Sure, I was just always less and and Dakota, listen,

704
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: it's okay if you're in a relation. It's okay if

705
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship and like you want to have

706
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,919
Speaker 1: sex and the other person doesn't want to have sex.

707
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 1: You're not a villain for wanting to have sex. But

708
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 1: you got to leave that if you got to leave

709
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 1: that relationship, like at that time, you can't just be

710
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 1: like staying in it and trying to get your way

711
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 1: while you're in it. Like if if if sex is

712
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: important to you and the other person doesn't want to,

713
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 1: just just find a different thing, you know, instead, you're

714
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:48,439
Speaker 1: like wasting this person's time. This person Like it's it's

715
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 1: okay to call it quits if you're not getting what

716
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 1: you desire out of the relationship.

717
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 3: But like.

718
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 8: It was not like a siding factor of relationship, Like

719
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 8: I'm just it was just another aspect to it that

720
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,800
Speaker 8: she was not you know, it felt like she didn't

721
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,359
Speaker 8: like me, Like because it wasn't happening a lot, so.

722
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: Can why did you stay so long if it really

723
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:15,320
Speaker 1: just seems like it wasn't working out between you guys.

724
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 8: Uh, because it was I mean it was like I

725
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 8: can't say that it was a deciding factor, but it

726
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 8: was just I was, you know, followed her out of

727
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 8: college like all this just we were living together. Like

728
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 8: it was just really deep into it.

729
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 1: Okay, so you were really deep into a thing that

730
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 1: was not working.

731
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 8: It was there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Like

732
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 8: I can't say that, like there was nothing, nothing wrong

733
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 8: with relationship that it was just you know, I was

734
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 8: watching porn behind the back. That's the main thing that

735
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 8: I was doing.

736
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 3: I was wrong.

737
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: What do you are you dating anyone now, Dakota?

738
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 8: Uh? Not currently?

739
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 1: You know, man, listen, I think like if you could

740
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 1: take away something from this experience as you navigate your

741
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:30,919
Speaker 1: relationships in the future, It's like, dude, if a thing

742
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: is not working, it just sounded like this relationship was

743
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 1: not working for you. But okay, I'm gonna give my

744
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 1: thing of this. It's sounded like this relationship was not

745
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:47,240
Speaker 1: working for you, but you didn't want to leave because

746
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:52,760
Speaker 1: you were quote into deep and so instead of leaving

747
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 1: because you're in too deep, you were like navigating to

748
00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: like figure out a way to get at what you desire.

749
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: While still staying in it, which was like just next time,

750
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 1: just leave next time. If it's not working out, just

751
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: lea save both of you guys time and energy and leave.

752
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: It's you're never in too deep. Okay, you don't own her,

753
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: she doesn't own you. Things are be be be If

754
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: you're gonna be in a relationship, be in it until

755
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out. If it's not working out, just leave.

756
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: Why would you stay because you're quote into deep? That

757
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense to.

758
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 8: Me, Like I I'm not like saying that I was,

759
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 8: you know, sticking with her, like because I was in

760
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 8: too deep, Like I had a lot of a lot

761
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 8: of love for that girl. But she that this is

762
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 8: like not like the deciding factor of our relationship of

763
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 8: why it ended, Like it was her deciding that she

764
00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 8: needs to find herself and figure out what she wants life. Okay,

765
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 8: good for her, Yeah, yeah, good, it is good for her.

766
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 8: But it wasn't the truth. But you know, it's good

767
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 8: that she saved my heart by.

768
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 1: What what do you mean? It was in the truth,

769
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 1: Like she's.

770
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 8: Not really like looking for to find herself because she

771
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 8: told me she was like trying to find a relationship

772
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 8: already like two weeks after you broke up, like she

773
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 8: was already talking to another dude from her class.

774
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: Maybe talking to the other dude from her class was

775
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: in her definition of finding herself part of that journey.

776
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,239
Speaker 1: But also at that point, but also but also at

777
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,879
Speaker 1: that point, when she tells you that and it becomes over,

778
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 1: you no longer need to be dissecting the truthfulness of

779
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:58,359
Speaker 1: her statements. You know, at that point you should be

780
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 1: moving on with your life.

781
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,399
Speaker 8: I definitely have. I definitely have since then.

782
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: How long ago is this?

783
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 8: Uh May of this year?

784
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 3: Hmm?

785
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 1: Okay, what's next for you, Dakota? What are you doing

786
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:17,320
Speaker 1: in your life.

787
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 7: Currently?

788
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 8: I like moved so, I like moved from my hometown

789
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 8: six hours away to follow this girl college, and then

790
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 8: now I moved an hour away from that spot, and

791
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 8: I'm just you know, looking for I'm in college right now,

792
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 8: so I'm just I'm taking a gap year and then

793
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 8: going back to college because I couldn't apply to the

794
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 8: same one I was going to because leaving.

795
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:48,479
Speaker 1: Listen, what I'm saying here is, you know, so much

796
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 1: fucking easier said than done. Like, I very much empathize

797
00:45:55,120 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 1: with the idea of being into deep too and that

798
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:05,800
Speaker 1: making you scared to make certain decisions. But I hope

799
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 1: from this thing that you learn better to recognize as

800
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,760
Speaker 1: soon as you can when you are quote into deep

801
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 1: and make the proper decision that saves you and the

802
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: other person some time.

803
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,760
Speaker 8: Okay, Okay, that's fair?

804
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 1: Does that? How do you feel about this conversation that

805
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 1: we have had. I'm genuinely curious.

806
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 8: I feel I feel, you know, I've learned a lesson

807
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:49,800
Speaker 8: for sure. That's no. I feel like I've I've gained

808
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 8: something out of this.

809
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: Okay, good, Good, Dakota. Is there anything else you want

810
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go?

811
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 8: Uh, hold on to your forever, like as long as possible.

812
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 8: Like that's it doesn't last as long as you wanted to.

813
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 8: That's all I gotta say.

814
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Dakota.

815
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 8: Thank you.

816
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: Fucking Dakota. Was it said here? He was twenty? It

817
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,360
Speaker 1: sounded like maybe it was one of his first relaceships.

818
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't I shouldn't be saying things

819
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:32,920
Speaker 1: like that. I shouldn't be assuming information, But yeah, I

820
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,839
Speaker 1: guess it can be scary when you feel as though

821
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: you are in too deep into something to leave it.

822
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 1: But fuck, man, sometimes you get your got you got to,

823
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: you got to for, if not for your own sake,

824
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:52,399
Speaker 1: for the sake of the other people involved in the thing,

825
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: you know. And I hope that girl did go on

826
00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: to uh fucking find herself and find whatever it is,

827
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: if it's a relationship with somebody who is on the

828
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 1: same wavelength with her about porn and about things like that,

829
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 1: or if it's spending some time by herself, whatever it is,

830
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 1: I hope. I hope she found her thing. I hope

831
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 1: the Coda finds his thing and they both live happy,

832
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: productive lives as human beings on the earth. I am

833
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: a gecko. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, how are you?

834
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 5: I'm good? How are you?

835
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 1: What's what's going on?

836
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 5: Okay? Oh my god? Sorry so shit, sorry dog. I've

837
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 5: been calling her to try and talk about this. So basically,

838
00:48:55,440 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 5: I got I got fired from my job a little

839
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 5: while ago, in like September. I'm non binary, and uh

840
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 5: my manager has kind of had an issue with that,

841
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 5: like they were really disrespectful about it. Everyone else that

842
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 5: worked there was really awesome. Like right now I'm with

843
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:22,319
Speaker 5: two of my best friends that I met there, and uh, yeah, sorry,

844
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 5: I'm very nurse.

845
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 1: No, it's okay, it's atual. We actually just had somebody

846
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 1: uh call in who the exact same thing happened to them.

847
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 1: I don't know if you heard that.

848
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, we've been on we've been on this whole call

849
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 5: and you said my name in the beginning, and we

850
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 5: were like, that means sorry, I cussed that, that means something.

851
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 1: You can cuss, but you can. Have you listened to

852
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: the podcast, you can cuss.

853
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're right, You're right, You're totally right.

854
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:52,799
Speaker 1: So okay, I mean so, so I kind of talked

855
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 1: about it with with uh the caller who was who

856
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 1: was a teacher that the same thing happened to them.

857
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:01,440
Speaker 1: What what is your story?

858
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:08,800
Speaker 5: Okay? So so basically I've had uh, I've had issues

859
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:12,319
Speaker 5: with them like the whole time. Like two of them

860
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 5: were basically like, we're just straight up not gonna use

861
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 5: your pronouns, like, uh, you know you look what you

862
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 5: look very feminine presenting and normally I'm super understanding, like

863
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 5: I uh, I am feminine presenting and like, but is

864
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 5: people re feuzing to like use it? That pisses me

865
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 5: off and bothers me. So I've always had an issue

866
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 5: with that, and then this new man, this new manager,

867
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:44,360
Speaker 5: came in a little bit before and he was like, uh,

868
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:49,399
Speaker 5: he uh. He's basically always talking about how he's got

869
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 5: a trans friend and he's super liberal, YadA YadA blah

870
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:56,399
Speaker 5: blah blah blah blah. And I wore like these ear rings,

871
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 5: ones that were like they them, and it was to

872
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 5: make them remember to use them. And he came up

873
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:08,839
Speaker 5: to me and he was like, oh, they them. I

874
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 5: know a whole bunch of like adverbs and he just

875
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 5: listed and shit's a fucking adverbs. Like to me, he

876
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,880
Speaker 5: just says really weird things like that. He'll corner people.

877
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 5: He's known for being very like racist and homophoed, but

878
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:25,280
Speaker 5: a whole bunch of issues.

879
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 1: So Jaden, No, it's like i'd actually finish the story.

880
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:33,640
Speaker 1: I I want to hear kind of where you're at.

881
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 5: So basically one day it kind of compiled and I

882
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 5: was trying to talk to them about how I needed

883
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 5: to be paid, like with these new people are being

884
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 5: paid anyway, it was a different thing that I wanted

885
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:48,360
Speaker 5: to talk about. So I told one of the different managers,

886
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 5: I need to talk to the main dude who I

887
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:56,760
Speaker 5: said all these things about and so they started talking

888
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 5: and one of my co workers came up to me

889
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 5: and she was like, they're talking about you having a

890
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 5: problem with using pronouns. I was like, what the fuck,

891
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:05,760
Speaker 5: that's how I know what I want to talk about,

892
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,839
Speaker 5: and so, uh, I was like whatever. I just kept

893
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 5: doing my job. And then a little while later, they're

894
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 5: like right behind me and he says trans people shouldn't

895
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 5: play in sports, and fucking uh there's X chromos XYX

896
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 5: chromoso and xx chromosome like right behind me. And also

897
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,799
Speaker 5: we worked in restaurants and it was right in front

898
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 5: of customers and everything, a whole bunch of people, like

899
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,799
Speaker 5: very loudly, and I kind of turned around and I

900
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 5: was like, you don't know what you're talking about. You

901
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 5: don't need to say that shit like I'm I'm trans.

902
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 5: You don't need to say that anywhere. You're a manager,

903
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 5: shouldn't say that kind of stuff. And like I just

904
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 5: kind of went off on him and like went to

905
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 5: the back and took my little break because I was stressed,

906
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 5: and then uh, you know, people came and consoled me.

907
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:06,359
Speaker 5: And then a little while later he was like, can

908
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 5: we go talk outside for a little bit, and so

909
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:14,319
Speaker 5: he did, and he just talked for like, oh, I

910
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 5: sort of got like an hour about how liberal he

911
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 5: is and how like he didn't mean any of them,

912
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 5: like it came across not what he meant, like he's

913
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:25,959
Speaker 5: got trans friends, and I was just me just argued

914
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 5: basically careing back and forth for an hour.

915
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 1: So, so, did did he end up firing you after this?

916
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 3: No?

917
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 5: So basically that happened a month before I got fired,

918
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 5: and I called HR after this happened, and I reported

919
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 5: him and that was the whole thing, and an investigation

920
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 5: was held, I guess. But I wasn't really there when

921
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 5: it happened. I was kind of out of town. I

922
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 5: kind of didn't mean the planet like that. But it

923
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 5: kind of worked out great because I'm kind of not great,

924
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:00,399
Speaker 5: Like I wouldn't want to go to work if I knew

925
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:04,280
Speaker 5: that I had to be dealing with that ship and

926
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 5: so uh. But when I got back, everyone was like,

927
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:09,759
Speaker 5: I don't know, something might happen, you might be getting fired.

928
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 5: I don't know, I don't know what's gonna happen. And

929
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 5: then everyone just walked on, like all the managers kind

930
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:20,280
Speaker 5: of walked on eggshells around me, and it was really

931
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 5: weird and then kind of like, I don't know how long.

932
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 5: It wasn't that long later that I got fired.

933
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 1: Okay, what was the reason that they gave you as

934
00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 1: to why they fired you?

935
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 5: Oh right, okay, so that's a huge fucking deal. So

936
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 5: uh so basically the week that it happened, I had

937
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 5: already had issues where I was like, uh, missed the

938
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 5: shift or something because I have like, uh, sorry, I

939
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 5: have an autoimmune so other issues. It doesn't it's not

940
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 5: about the note call show that I got fired, because

941
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 5: there's some Yeah, it was synthas because basically in the

942
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,880
Speaker 5: beginning of the week I wasn't scheduled for this Friday shift,

943
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 5: and then I had an issue where someone needed that

944
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 5: shift covered and I was like, oh, I'm not working,

945
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 5: so I can cover it. But it ended up getting

946
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 5: covered so I didn't have to work, so it was

947
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 5: clear I didn't have to work. And then Friday rolled

948
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 5: around and I just happened to look to see if

949
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 5: the schedule was up for next week, and I was

950
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 5: like and then I looked at the schedule and I

951
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 5: was I was supposed to be working Friday all of

952
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:33,799
Speaker 5: a sudden, when like not even two days ago in

953
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:37,759
Speaker 5: the week, like me, and a manager like me and

954
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:40,080
Speaker 5: a manager and a whole nother employee like confirmed that

955
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,840
Speaker 5: I was not working Friday, So all of a sudden,

956
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 5: my schedule changed and then no one called me, and

957
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 5: like normally, like the managers will call you like ten

958
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 5: minutes if you're not there the first ten minutes of

959
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:54,359
Speaker 5: the shift, they'll call you and be like, hey, where

960
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:58,399
Speaker 5: are you at? And I didn't get that because I wasn't.

961
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,400
Speaker 5: I don't know, I wasn't like looking, I wasn't. I

962
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,120
Speaker 5: didn't think I was supposed to work, and no one

963
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 5: called me.

964
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 4: So uh.

965
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, so this.

966
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 1: Is this is what they used as the reason why

967
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:14,799
Speaker 1: they wanted to fire you.

968
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 5: Yes exactly. I came in the next day and they fired.

969
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 1: Me, okay, And and you believe that that that is

970
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,799
Speaker 1: a cover up for them just wanting to fire you

971
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 1: because they didn't.

972
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:32,240
Speaker 5: You know, want want to Oh yeah, sorry.

973
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:36,279
Speaker 1: So so you know, like I said, we we had

974
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 1: we had a call that was kind of similar to this,

975
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:39,879
Speaker 1: and so I, you know, I have similar questions for you.

976
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 1: Are you planning on trying to take any further action

977
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:49,359
Speaker 1: to this?

978
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 5: Totally? I already talked with like an attorney and off

979
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 5: for it, and I just I'm basically just trying to

980
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 5: get the money for it. Been working, you know, I

981
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,799
Speaker 5: had to get a new job, but it wasn't I

982
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 5: had to get a job immediately because I have bills

983
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 5: and stuff, so it wasn't exactly a good money enough.

984
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,879
Speaker 5: So I'm basically my friends, my best friends that I'm

985
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 5: with now, they're we're all trying to raise money. They're

986
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 5: going to help me be able to because once I

987
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 5: I know, I'm going to win it. The attorney said

988
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 5: that if I took it to court or even settled it,

989
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 5: like I, it's a it's retaliation no matter what, Like

990
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 5: even without the transphobia, it's retaliation. But I do live

991
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 5: in the South, so it's kind of like, you know,

992
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:38,720
Speaker 5: we kind of want them to settle. I don't know

993
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 5: if I want to if I anyways, but yeah, uh yeah,

994
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 5: So I am trying to take legal action. I just

995
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 5: I'm trying to save the money to do so.

996
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 3: Well.

997
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 1: I'm glad that it sounds like your friends have been

998
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:55,600
Speaker 1: very supportive of you, and I'm sorry that that happened.

999
00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a whole bunch of bullshit to deal with.

1000
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 5: Thank you.

1001
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are you kind of doing moving forward? Are you?

1002
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 1: Did you get a new job that you're more happy with?

1003
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm starting. I have been working at a vapes

1004
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 5: through because I just, you know, it was easy. But

1005
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 5: I'm starting a new job tomorrow, actually working with dogs.

1006
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 5: I love dogs, so yeah, and I've been writing a book,

1007
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 5: so I've just been like kind of able to take

1008
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 5: the time to myself. Actually it's kind of been a blessing,

1009
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 5: I guess, because.

1010
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:39,440
Speaker 1: You know, I'm sorry to keep compare you to the

1011
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 1: other call ahead, but it was. It's interesting how you

1012
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 1: you both have a similar story because the other person

1013
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: I talked to about this, they felt like going after

1014
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:56,040
Speaker 1: the person that fired them would like they felt as

1015
00:58:56,040 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 1: though it would cause them a lot of stress. Glad

1016
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 1: to hear that it doesn't. It doesn't. And I don't

1017
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 1: know because I haven't asked you about it yet, but

1018
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like to me the process of suing

1019
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:14,840
Speaker 1: these people is a detriment to you. It sounds like

1020
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:17,800
Speaker 1: you're doing it, but at the same time, you are

1021
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 1: simultaneously moving along with your life and not letting their

1022
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 1: fixation on this situation that happened to you prevent you

1023
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:30,080
Speaker 1: from going getting a new job, fucking working with dogs,

1024
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 1: doing your stuff, like living your life, and you're with

1025
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 1: your friends. It sounds like you've been able to kind

1026
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 1: of simultaneously do those things, which is I'm glad to

1027
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:38,919
Speaker 1: hear that.

1028
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, I had a weird situation where I kind

1029
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 5: of ran into the managers outside of like just living life.

1030
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 5: That fucked me up a little bit, but I got

1031
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 5: past it because I have really good friends, a good

1032
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:55,680
Speaker 5: support system.

1033
00:59:56,080 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 1: Good. That's awesome, Jade. And I hope that you. I

1034
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:04,080
Speaker 1: hope that you win your case. I hope that the

1035
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 1: situation as a whole. And uh, I mean, look, I'm

1036
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:10,080
Speaker 1: not worried about you, dude, because it seems like you're

1037
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:15,960
Speaker 1: uh uh moving along in life just well just you know,

1038
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 1: without this being a sort of negative fixation for you

1039
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 1: at least. I don't know if that's true or not,

1040
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 1: but that's that's the vibe I'm getting from what you're

1041
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 1: telling me.

1042
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, kind of. You know, it's stressful when I

1043
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 5: think about it, but like I said, my friends are

1044
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 5: always like, nah, for these people, we're going to take

1045
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 5: them to go it.

1046
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:46,840
Speaker 6: Fuck the Yeah, Jaden.

1047
01:00:46,600 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you want to say to

1048
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.

1049
01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 5: I love your podcast. I love everything you do. Thank

1050
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,919
Speaker 5: you so much. Every calling for like months to try

1051
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 5: to talk to you about this kind of awesome, like

1052
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 5: getting the validation from you and like, I don't know,

1053
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 5: hearing you say everything's gonna be okay, basically feel better.

1054
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:09,840
Speaker 1: Well, Tom, I mean you don't even need me to

1055
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 1: tell you that. It sounds like you're doing very well.

1056
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you.

1057
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:19,040
Speaker 1: I'm good luck hanging out with all the dogs. Don't

1058
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 1: let them ye can spit on you unless if you

1059
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 1: like that.

1060
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 5: Oh I don't know, sometimes not by dogs. Still sorry, Yeah,

1061
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:31,120
Speaker 5: no problem, have a good one.

1062
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:35,080
Speaker 3: Never beacon goes on the line thinking your phone calls

1063
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 3: every night.

1064
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 1: Every beacon goes on the side.

1065
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 3: You're teaching you a cloud in the middle of your

1066
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:41,840
Speaker 3: life that he's not ready.

1067
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 7: An expert