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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This I'm your hoth.

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Speaker 1: Kevin Polock yess that, Kevin polog that's that? Well, if

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Speaker 1: you do, you're damned, and if you don't, you just

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Speaker 1: didn't care enough. But I digress. Let's made an chemist?

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Speaker 1: Shall we no particular order? Say? Hello? Christ Operado, Chris?

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Speaker 1: Who shall be? Who shall never be kissed? What's your

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Speaker 1: favorite film of two thousand nineteen? Did you have a faith? Yes?

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Speaker 1: I did? Okay, and I'm going to say it's nineteen seventeen.

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Speaker 1: That's correct? Wait is uh? No? No, it definitely came

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Speaker 1: out in two thousand nineteen because it was nominated for

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Speaker 1: an Oscar. So what's your favorite film of nineteen seventeen? Yes,

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Speaker 1: that is also correct. Look down there. In fact, it's

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Speaker 1: Craig Katkowski. I'm a TV network suit, pitch me Hogan's Heroes. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Nazi yep? But wait wait wait no, let's start with Nazis.

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Speaker 1: Concentration No, it's not a concentration care, but it's a

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Speaker 1: prison of war care all right, But but the Nazis

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Speaker 1: are funny? Funny? Are there Jews that funny Nazis? Uh?

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Speaker 1: And I've got a guy he uh, he puts people

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Speaker 1: on tape. He shoots a lot of home video of

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Speaker 1: six sex acts on the show. No, not on the show,

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Speaker 1: but you should know who you're hiring and seen. Thank you, hey,

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Speaker 1: and yeah she's back Vanessa Raglan Venetia, name a cat,

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Speaker 1: a mouse, and a favorite pair of shoes. Jamy Frank Yeah, hello,

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Speaker 1: cut the trees. It's James Heeny, j j Heen the

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Speaker 1: third location. Please when you first attempted to lose your virginity? Oh,

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Speaker 1: thank god, it's do you want the truth or do

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Speaker 1: you want it was a movie theater. I can't handle.

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Speaker 1: It was you know what, you really want the truth?

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Speaker 1: I don't want to say the truth, and I don't

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Speaker 1: usually say the truth. On that, I just kept my

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Speaker 1: mouth shut. Well, I said a bedroom, a bedroom, okay,

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Speaker 1: movie theater was an employee. No, no, no, no, it

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Speaker 1: was because I think we have some charges to bring

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Speaker 1: a little humpy Jeames in the in the theater there.

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Speaker 1: I mean, not at the moment we were attempting. It

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Speaker 1: was just an attempt that was under age. I shouldn't

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Speaker 1: have been doing anything with anyone to have sex underage.

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Speaker 1: What oh, let's look up the laws. I mean I

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Speaker 1: think that if you're under age, you're not allowed to

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Speaker 1: be having sex period, right state Illinois? Okay, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: definitely not the truth. Made a statutory rape on you? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Or she was older than me? How much one year

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Speaker 1: I was? I was a freshman and she was a

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Speaker 1: soft Is that fine? I mean I was a rough kid.

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Speaker 1: I think we should move on. Sorry, sorry, there's nothing

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Speaker 1: rough about. It's not being a rough kid because you

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Speaker 1: want to have sex. I'm telling you, and I'm telling

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Speaker 1: you if you want to have sex, you're both under

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Speaker 1: eighteen and consenting. It's not illegal. That it's fay that

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Speaker 1: it's just a little bit more difficult to do in

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Speaker 1: a bedroom than it is in it's more difficultom I

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Speaker 1: am increasingly more uncomfortable because becomes in a bedroom you're

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Speaker 1: lying down all the way well, because there's parents at

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Speaker 1: the house and you're under age and it's illegal. It's

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Speaker 1: better with strangers in a seat. Did you go to

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Speaker 1: a mattenee Mr Saturday night? Where it was it was

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Speaker 1: either Sergeant Bill Coo or it was in periscope. I

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Speaker 1: don't remember one of those piscope that's illegal. Uh, next question, No,

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Speaker 1: I think we're just We're good and last, But may

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Speaker 1: cuddly puppy make poop poop in your teacup if you

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Speaker 1: think them leaves it's Joey Greer Joel Wars. Why can't

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Speaker 1: you just leave it alone? You know why? Because it

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Speaker 1: keeps on looking at me and I'm not gonna sit

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Speaker 1: for that. So you're gonna take it to a movie

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Speaker 1: theater exactly, and I'm gonna leave it there with James.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's do a damn show. As always, a

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Speaker 1: special thanks to all of our Patreon v i P members.

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Speaker 1: Those of you who want to be a part of

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Speaker 1: our super fan group and enjoy extra bonus content and whatnots,

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Speaker 1: go to Patreon dot com slash alchemy This. Almost all

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Speaker 1: of our scene suggestions today are gathered from our listener emails.

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Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit yours, please right to the

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Speaker 1: podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's your name here? I'm not sure it's well see.

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Speaker 1: Number one comes from Rebecca, who wrote, hello, my name

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Speaker 1: is Beck's short for Rebecca, but three syllables short for Rebecca.

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Speaker 1: But three syllables just take too long to say. One

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Speaker 1: syllable is so much easier Okay, thanks for explaining anyway.

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Speaker 1: I absolutely love the show and often try and fail

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Speaker 1: to stock partle episodes so I can binge, but I

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Speaker 1: can never make myself not listen, and I cave every

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Speaker 1: Tuesday and Thursday. So she tries to to to log

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Speaker 1: bank episodes but fails. That's pretty sweet, Saints that you

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Speaker 1: got it, and I finally worked out the matho and

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Speaker 1: aspiring taxidermists gets a job working at a zoo in

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Speaker 1: order to acquire exotic mediums to perfect his skill. His

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Speaker 1: or her coworkers start to become suspicious when animals begin

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Speaker 1: to go missing. Thank you for brightening my week, Becks. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I understand that this is an enclosure for for a

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Speaker 1: but I thought there'd be more of a variety. Okay,

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Speaker 1: variety of primates. Yeah, whatever the hell they're called. Okay, look,

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Speaker 1: my boy, I brought my son over here to look

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Speaker 1: at some some of some of these. Did you want

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Speaker 1: to see baboons? Yes? I want to see Yes, I

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Speaker 1: want to see Grimace all of them, all right, I

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Speaker 1: want to I want to see the entire rainbow, all right,

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Speaker 1: And apparently you can't want to go home? No, hold

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Speaker 1: on a second, I don't want to watch these anymore

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Speaker 1: than do we have a problem here a little ranger.

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Speaker 1: It's just that these chips are boring. I just want

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Speaker 1: to go home video or no, the chips are boring.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, he wants to play video games. You're at

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Speaker 1: the zoo. It's the best place in the world. I

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Speaker 1: want to go. Dad, listen to a stranger. I'm not

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Speaker 1: a stranger on the head ZOOKI the head ZOOKI. Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh. Okay, problem with a little bit was getting

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Speaker 1: a lot of progress here. We don't blame the guests, Randall.

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Speaker 1: I don't blame the guests Randall. I believe it was

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Speaker 1: the Randall's son who is the issue. Now you're gonna

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Speaker 1: blame my boy. I'm just you're gonna blame my boy.

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Speaker 1: He's a prey. Look at this, he's a prick. Excuse me.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I'm gonna sue this establishment putting my

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Speaker 1: son in the primate cage? What I want a v

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Speaker 1: I P. Three, Man, I want my boy in the

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Speaker 1: primate cage. Now, really fun? V I P. Two You

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Speaker 1: can go behind the penguin cave and give a sh

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Speaker 1: about penguin's Okay, I can't put your son in the cave.

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Speaker 1: Why not, Dolly, I say, we give the kid what

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Speaker 1: he wants. There's a wench right there. Huh, just lowerman.

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Speaker 1: I can't do it. Well, I'm gonna guest rip his

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Speaker 1: jo off and beat him to death with it. But

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Speaker 1: you know what, I want to go home. But this

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Speaker 1: sounds exciting. He's getting excited, Dolly. I think if you

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Speaker 1: look the other way, I could facilitate this gentleman's needs.

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Speaker 1: I can't even have heard that. Hey, Jake man, we

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Speaker 1: have another missing lizard. What I don't I can't figure

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Speaker 1: it out, and I don't want to tell Dolly. And

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Speaker 1: it's not just a lizard. I mean she doesn't know

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Speaker 1: about the ostrich from last week. I don't want tell

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Speaker 1: Dolly because I can't really understand her accent. Still, with

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Speaker 1: five lizards in the last month, it doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 1: And I'm doing the math. Is there are some kind

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Speaker 1: of bird of prey coming down and picking them up?

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Speaker 1: But right, we have raptors, but their their wings and

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Speaker 1: clip there in the area. Yeah, right, it doesn't It

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Speaker 1: doesn't make sense. I diddle juniors, Luca in the brick room,

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Speaker 1: have you tried my jungle munch? Jungle munch, No jungle munch.

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Speaker 1: The count here, Oh it looks like droppings. It does

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Speaker 1: really dropping. I thought that was dropping hard jungle man. So, Dolly,

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Speaker 1: I saw in the calendar you're doing the zoo count today.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing the big zoo count, going to start with

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Speaker 1: the tallest bird with the funniest habits. Who am I

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Speaker 1: talking about? Austria strad um, just like we've got four

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Speaker 1: good just big beds. Don't we bury their heads? Yes?

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Speaker 1: So there's younger munches for anybody, jungle munches for any

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Speaker 1: juniors or groups. So I've gotta not go into it

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Speaker 1: myself because my caickies are getting too tight. Quick question, Dolly,

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Speaker 1: been hitting the munch too hard? That seems inappropriate. I

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Speaker 1: think I'm going on the munch actually a big breakfast.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, you've got planning room to fill

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Speaker 1: out your kickies. Go for it. I have a little munch,

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Speaker 1: You have a little munch, Dolly. Quick question, Um, do

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Speaker 1: we have other cameras that are operational? In quick answer?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely everywhere? Okay, good, We've got every inch of this

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Speaker 1: so covered with you know, high tech cameras. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: got the whole system rigged up. You have any camera

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Speaker 1: anywhere in the entire like zoo or in this video room. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's Equippiti tech. You kind of smoke, pour water on

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Speaker 1: in the problem. Oh I see a monitor here, says

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Speaker 1: h Iguana Palace. Uh huh I zoom in and zoom out.

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Speaker 1: I can turn it off. I want. Most of the

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Speaker 1: time I turn off all these cameras. I just crash,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? As you turn out the

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Speaker 1: monitors or you turn off the actual recording devices. One button,

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Speaker 1: Nate night, Can we see the monitor from the monitors? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Where that will be a two monitor. Lizards that went

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Speaker 1: missing in the last month. Maybe you have time to

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Speaker 1: tell them about the special cameras like pay extra game.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I got we can put we can put

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Speaker 1: toilet cameras in. Yeah, we can put cameras in our toilet.

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Speaker 1: So we need that. Well just pure poo. You totally

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Speaker 1: well no, I mean no, are you sure we're looking

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Speaker 1: for the security cameras like you could knock hello, hey,

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Speaker 1: quick cue for you. You're ragged guys, some jungle munch

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Speaker 1: Hell yeah, two handfuls. Put it away the sun dart

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Speaker 1: sean your mouth. Can you turn off the cameras in

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Speaker 1: the primate area, no reason, not even on perfect title.

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Speaker 1: I should probably clarify him. Toilet cameras I was talking

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Speaker 1: about was furredy animals? They're not. We would never do

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Speaker 1: the people talk because we do offer for us because

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Speaker 1: watch the animals. But like if we were underneath got you, No,

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Speaker 1: we understand it. But if we want to put one

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Speaker 1: in like we've trained them all th toilet, so like

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Speaker 1: Dolly shower or something like that, would that be an optional?

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Speaker 1: What you talking about saying? Well, aren't you a really

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Speaker 1: pretty little porcupine? You look like you might be a

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Speaker 1: little old. What you say about coming home with me?

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Speaker 1: Come into my back back, get in here, come on,

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Speaker 1: getting you a bit big, getting you a bit big.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing me? I was just letting this

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Speaker 1: porcupine out to my big pick. Thank you appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: It was restucking the zoo. I work. Here. Here's my bad. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's me. That's why it's on my batch. And I

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Speaker 1: was just letting this porcupine out of my big big

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Speaker 1: Can I see the photo again? On your bad? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Here next to your own face, well next to my

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Speaker 1: own face. Are you sure my own face did you

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Speaker 1: have a hair color change. Well, yeah, I call it

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Speaker 1: my I call it my hair. I shaved my beard

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Speaker 1: and you went with a perm Well yeah it looks good. Right,

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Speaker 1: well yes, but nonetheless I should really get out of

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Speaker 1: the porcupine, are you okay? So fast forward, fast forward,

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Speaker 1: fast forward, stop stop, stop stop. So you said you

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Speaker 1: can zoom in? Yeah, so right here, I had about

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Speaker 1: like two Chila kila's, and I had like a pine coffee.

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Speaker 1: So get ready for the show. No, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to watch you pooping? Oh what the

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Speaker 1: hell do you want? I was saying, this monitor over

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Speaker 1: here in the iguana palace, let me set that up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So okay, that ship it's all my pooping videos. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but like you could, you could probably I wonder if

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Speaker 1: there's one in dollars. Hey, my man, we're not doing that,

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Speaker 1: all right, we're not doing that, right. I thought we

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Speaker 1: were just boys talking about boys. Though. Yeah, okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: totally done with poop dock right without that jungle munch,

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Speaker 1: he's got to be pretty regular. I don't take I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying I want to see her poop. I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: what if you know? Okay, here it's off the table.

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Speaker 1: This one here, I had to jos meat lovers God,

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Speaker 1: and I haven't had any water for a week. Let's

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Speaker 1: see what happens on. So you don't have the iguana palace. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's what you want. All right. Let's see here and

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Speaker 1: there from one week. Uh, let's do the last couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks. Yeah, last couple of a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 1: What do you want me to start? All right? Fine,

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Speaker 1: you don't hold two weeks ago Tuesday, six pm, and

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Speaker 1: I'll make it rain. Okay, No, we don't need it

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Speaker 1: wasn't raining, alright, alright, to leave the rain app here

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Speaker 1: we go. Wait a minute. That that's that's the new uh,

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Speaker 1: the new maintenance guy. Philip Green. Philip Green, This has

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Speaker 1: audio a little bit, can you up? Yeah, it's just

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Speaker 1: gonna be a louder squeaks. But can we slow the

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Speaker 1: audio down of course when we're gonna hans it? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all right, let me zoom in on the audio, all right,

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Speaker 1: commure like want getting my big bink? Come? Need want

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Speaker 1: to get big Bitause? Holy ship? Is that how he sounds?

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Speaker 1: That's a bizarre voice a voice, but we caught him.

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Speaker 1: Now do we bring this information to Dolly or should

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Speaker 1: we put a camera in her shower? Okay, hold on,

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Speaker 1: hold hold on, hold on? What was going on? Just

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Speaker 1: guys stealing lizard that's what it seems like. Lizards, but

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Speaker 1: not just lizards, but a lot of things. Sad. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to go in. I don't want to You're fine, okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't want all right, so I'm just gonna went

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Speaker 1: to alone. All right, fine, okay, randall just watch then

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Speaker 1: jeez coming down down. Okay, everybody back up, back up,

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Speaker 1: and stay away from anyway. I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: here anymore than you guys don't want me to be here. No,

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Speaker 1: you can talk. Oh, I'll keep your force down, keep

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Speaker 1: you forced. Okay, it's just me. What do you want

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Speaker 1: to bring any food? I don't have any food. I'm

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Speaker 1: just a ten year old. What you have a phone? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I don't have a lot of pat So you're

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Speaker 1: you're a ten year old cares a phone with no food.

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Speaker 1: Believe it or not, all kids have phones these days.

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Speaker 1: How long have you guys been in jail? We need

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Speaker 1: to go. No, this is a track phone. I can't

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Speaker 1: take a picture of Okay, okay, now she follow me

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Speaker 1: this way. Folks, the but bo is the most highly

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Speaker 1: sexual of primates. Well, I often resolve disputes via mutual masturbation.

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Speaker 1: There's there's a person in there. Okay, I think that's

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Speaker 1: just one of the banobo's. They nearly looked like that.

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Speaker 1: They're very The one that looks like a person is

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Speaker 1: taking a picture of those other ones doing this. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't have time to look in the enclosure. I've

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Speaker 1: got to look at my tour group right now. It's

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Speaker 1: taking a picture of the circulture. Okay, I got good

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Speaker 1: pictures of whatever you guys are doing. Okay, I hope

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Speaker 1: they were. So what's up McDonald's. I promise all right now,

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Speaker 1: how I'll drink the enclosure? You know what it was? Really? Uh?

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Speaker 1: It was weird. It was weird, Dad. Luckily I closed

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Speaker 1: my eyes didn't see anything but the pictures that I took.

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Speaker 1: I lost my phone and I need well I got

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Speaker 1: my phone back. I don't know if I should Okay, hello,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean? Hold on? What do you mean

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Speaker 1: you don't know if you should? Like he hang up

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Speaker 1: that phone right now? Like, why aren't you decison? Dad?

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Speaker 1: I just all I said is I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: you tell me what to do. Now you take a damon, Randy.

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Speaker 1: Do you pick up that phone if you want to,

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Speaker 1: you do it with confidence. Can I have a private

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Speaker 1: phone call? Of course, you're muff dad. Hello, how did

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Speaker 1: you calling from? Stand us? Those pictures? Okay, I'll send

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Speaker 1: it right now. I'm so hard to give him your

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Speaker 1: email to tell me mail. I don't, Gail, this is

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Speaker 1: my trash one. Okay, Well, can I just guess that?

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Speaker 1: Then your gmails the first parts the same. It's just now, Dolly.

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Speaker 1: I know that this family that's suing the zoo because

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Speaker 1: of the kid being harassed by the banoba, it's taking

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Speaker 1: up most of your attention. But we do have Philip

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Speaker 1: Green cut blatantly on this camera stealing, and I don't

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Speaker 1: have time for this right now. I'm being sued. Okay,

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Speaker 1: the zoo is being sued. You know what. I am

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Speaker 1: the zoo at the end of the night. You're not

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Speaker 1: the zoo. Oh my god, I've been eating so jungle monk.

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Speaker 1: I think you look great. My pants won't even buckle.

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Speaker 1: What is that? I can't I have to wear my

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Speaker 1: right just shirt out. Oh my god, the stress of

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Speaker 1: this it's like you want to take your pants off.

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Speaker 1: I'd love to take my pants off if it wasn't inappropriate.

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Speaker 1: My thighs now stress of this mixed with my jungle

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Speaker 1: Minks recipes honestly pushing me over the edge right now.

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Speaker 1: And so what do you bring into my attention? Philip Glass?

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Speaker 1: Not Philip Glass. It's a minimalist composer. Rated I do

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Speaker 1: what Philip class could do. I've done it on like

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Speaker 1: co Scotsy. But let's who doesn't coyon the sculpting. But

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Speaker 1: there's schools of other schools. That is taxidermyng porcupines and

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Speaker 1: iguanas that he stole from the zoo. He's bringing them

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Speaker 1: into the break room. Oh god, please don't. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: pass out. I'm wanna pass out. Can you pass the pasta? Sure?

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Speaker 1: Here you go? Thanks? So you like pasta? Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: kind of the only thing they offer here, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's see eating a lot of it. Yeah, are you

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Speaker 1: shaming me? Okay, just curious why that's the only thing

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Speaker 1: you eating. What's what's the hot thing here? The hot thing? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's not a lot of hot dishes here. If you

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Speaker 1: had the bananas, that's not hot. I'm not gonna have

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Speaker 1: a hot banana. How about the yogurt? That's not I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna have curdled milk. Can I get you guys

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Speaker 1: any hot bananas to tap you up? There's happening now,

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Speaker 1: I'm fine, Thank you. You're the new guy. Huh. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not really a fan. I'll just bring my lunch

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Speaker 1: from now on. Sure, Okay, this is an awkward This

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Speaker 1: is very awkward to see that guy. He keeps on

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Speaker 1: bringing these animals out. Am I playing with them like

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Speaker 1: they're like plastic dinosaurs, but hired together. I swear he's

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Speaker 1: also that guy that guys, those are really animals. I

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Speaker 1: swear to God. Why do you swear to God? Because

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Speaker 1: I believe in Christ? Okay, but can I get you

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Speaker 1: guys anything else? Yeah? Can we get some more pasta? Please?

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Speaker 1: Kind out about us. I was recommended through the zoo

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Speaker 1: come to come down to the lunch room. That's where

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Speaker 1: we are. I know this is not as a boy,

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Speaker 1: but I do have some complaints about the employee lunch room.

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Speaker 1: I'm listening talk about food, right, Okay, I'm busting out

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Speaker 1: of all my cars. My loafers seems are popping because popping. Well,

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00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,639
Speaker 1: let's stop eating the munch. Okay, I can't stop eating

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Speaker 1: the munch in the middle of all these crises. Sorry,

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00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 1: we've got a smuggler. Okay, guys, we have an issue

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Speaker 1: right now. It's a code red. Philip Green is in

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Speaker 1: the cage with the But what are they? How are

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00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:30,479
Speaker 1: they go? What they called? But no? Shot? Right? Me too? Anyway?

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00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: Where'd you come from? Anyway? Right now? And he's threatening

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Speaker 1: to kill one live in front of all the people,

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00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: and stop it right here, we gotta go. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: have to take my clothes off and run. Holy ship,

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Speaker 1: Oh my gods, that monkey. Get this? This is this

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Speaker 1: is my business. This is totally totally I can only

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Speaker 1: do Did we get that? Did we get that on videotape? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I mean right now, okay, I had four handfuls

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Speaker 1: of sunflower seeds, and then I had about two pounds

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00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: of soft oatmeal, and then I just was just another

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Speaker 1: one of your poop video. Yeah, what are you asking for?

354
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 1: Dolly was running topless through the zoo. Did you not

355
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Speaker 1: get it? No? I'm not all right? She are What

356
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,399
Speaker 1: goes wrong with the Why would you do that? I know?

357
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 1: I just told you. I am not all right, what's

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Speaker 1: going on? Okay, I don't know what's going on? All right,

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Speaker 1: I'm done talking to you. I'm gonna go see this

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Speaker 1: bloody mess, all right. I'm gonna go to the cafeteria

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Speaker 1: and get some cold pastaana. That's scene one cold one

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00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,959
Speaker 1: scene to come from a fan whose name was somehow

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00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 1: misplaced in my process of copy and pasting emails into

364
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Speaker 1: my prep work. My apologies. If you hear this and

365
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 1: recognize your hand you work, please write to us again

366
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 1: at your name here at I can be this dot

367
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Speaker 1: com and I so that I can give you a

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00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: proper thank you. This fan wrote, good day, my friends.

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Speaker 1: You are all fantastic, lovely people. I don't care what

370
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 1: those other people say. You are all aces in my book.

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Speaker 1: A scene suggestion for you all today is a legendary

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Speaker 1: actor named the Hen wins another Academy award, but soon

373
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: realizes his entire world is collapsing all around him and thanks,

374
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 1: and the Oscar goes to please, please, please, please please

375
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Speaker 1: please place third time in the last four years, the

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Speaker 1: great okay guy, I want to make a speech. I've

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Speaker 1: done my first three good ones, so this is one.

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00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna improvise. I want to think, well, let

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Speaker 1: me think here the first one, I thank god, I

380
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: think my mom want to just speak. You get with

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00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 1: a speech by one of the one and God's license

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00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 1: on the oskar and thanks mom? Can I put the honey? Yeah?

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00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 1: Well it was the funny thing about your so captain speech.

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00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 1: Well I figured that, you know I didn't thank you mother.

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00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 1: I did the first three times. Did you think your

386
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: mother thank you for six years a year life? I know?

387
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 1: And I thank you three three times ago. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for running my body, taking my youth walk walk walk

389
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 1: walking away with half of mody and they youre just

390
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: tappen out after three thank you? You know I regret

391
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: it now? How can I make it up to you?

392
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:54,439
Speaker 1: Give me my hair? We're going about give me my hair. No,

393
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: you don't have to put this hair on to go

394
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 1: out do what it was to fancy ask you as

395
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,400
Speaker 1: when we see with the oh, hey it's the hen

396
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: picking up his dry cleaning. Yeah, give me one sec.

397
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: Chains are up. Wow, it's that one, right, I can't

398
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,159
Speaker 1: really seem to find it right now. No, it's the

399
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: it's the one with the Paisley tied behind you. Because

400
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: I can find the other the other articles of clothing

401
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: where people are gracious enough to acknowledge the hard work

402
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: we do in this I don't even know your name.

403
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 1: The five minutes or less dry cleaner. Yeah, yeah, okay,

404
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: I just need a couple of couple of suits. Okay,

405
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 1: a couple of pairs of shorts okay, and uh ten

406
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: shirts lightly starts, it's my turn. I got pants. A

407
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,959
Speaker 1: good two shot coming right there, coming there? You are,

408
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 1: you have a good day, listen. I don't I don't

409
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: know your name. I know what you're getting at, and

410
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: I am sorry that I from I'm like, it's so

411
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: talented you. I enjoyed your last two pictures, not the

412
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: one before. But that's what it is. Well, I'm trying

413
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: to get better, and I guess it's in a good trajectory.

414
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 1: If you could sign it to my mother in law,

415
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: to your mother in law, not for you. Glad is

416
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 1: so she's the fan. No, she's the one that wants

417
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 1: you to write. Okay, I would like a selfie. Can

418
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:16,880
Speaker 1: we take a picture together? Yeah? Can you leave? You're

419
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 1: too busy now. He just won't get my clothes back.

420
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:24,120
Speaker 1: Maybe he'll take pure Yeah, would you mind stumpy taking

421
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,199
Speaker 1: a picture of me and the heat. Baby, listen, I

422
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: love everything you're doing. Okay, it's me that's a problem, alright.

423
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,679
Speaker 1: But word on the street is just a fan. You

424
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: can't do that. You just want to ask her. Now, look,

425
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: the deal with DreamWorks is tanking. Okay, why you're attitude

426
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: not mine? That game? The salvagees thinking, but I'm not

427
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 1: a plumber. Could somebody get my mom some shoes out

428
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: the TMZ? Al right, guy, So here's what we got.

429
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: We got the heat. Now he's at the Americana England Dale.

430
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, he's walking out of leave watch. I'm

431
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,920
Speaker 1: gonna slow this down. Here there's a little kid who

432
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,679
Speaker 1: wants a hug and good look at what he does

433
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: right here. Oh just the just the kid bump them

434
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,719
Speaker 1: hip check. I'm saying, I'm gonna rewind this again. Check

435
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: this out. And I got a video of the little

436
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 1: kid talking after the hip check. Let's take a look

437
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 1: it used to be. That's so sad, so sad. Another

438
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: video Kanye West. He's jumping in the water and he's

439
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: trying to look for fish. Let's take a look. Okay,

440
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 1: well you got a lot got wow. Look if it

441
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 1: isn't the heat, Welcome back to Jacoby's acting studio where

442
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: it all began for you. I appreciate check off is up. Okay, listen,

443
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: I just need to kind of revamp my stuff. I

444
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: feel like I lost my purpose. Got some Academy awards.

445
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: Exactly the moment you begin to look, can I get

446
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 1: two beckets? Got it up? You know the moment, the

447
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: moment you first accepted that first Academy award. That is

448
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,879
Speaker 1: the moment when you begin to plummet as an artist. Really, really,

449
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:15,400
Speaker 1: how did I get next too? Because you sold out

450
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 1: this Larry. The class is ready, okay if you want

451
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: to bring I do as a matter of fact. So

452
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna bring you into a beginning Are you sure

453
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,959
Speaker 1: I can't go to intermediate or advance? You're not. You're

454
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: not going to take the class. You're here to watch.

455
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,439
Speaker 1: I can't even take the need to watch one scene

456
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: between two beginning actors and see if there's a couple

457
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 1: of things maybe you can pick up on something that

458
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 1: you need for your craft. You want me to audit

459
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: a beginner. Ladies and gentlemen, you all know the heat.

460
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: I don't really watch films or television. That's my boys.

461
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: But you're aware they exist. Sure you care, Leonard? Okay,

462
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: So speaking with Leonard and Sylvia, they're gonna be doing

463
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: a scene from e n Escos line. Oh my god,

464
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: I'm not worthy. Okay, so let's go ahead and take

465
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: it from line line h damn it. I can't do

466
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: this anymore. This is driving me crazy. Cuckoo cuckoo, Bob,

467
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: this is driving me crazy. Line scene hean, what do

468
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 1: you think? Well, first of all, while commitment, that's a

469
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: lot of commitment. I'm not familiar with the piece, but

470
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: I feel like the story from the theater. I don't

471
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: do a lot of theater stuff. Oh I'm sorry. Is

472
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 1: that offensive to you guys? It's a bit offensive. Well,

473
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 1: I need to get back to your roots. Bro. Do

474
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: you guys think maybe I could? My god, my god,

475
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: I never thought i'd see that. He and walked through

476
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,719
Speaker 1: these humble doors again. Here it is Martet County, Kentucky.

477
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 1: He's see me. Holy my Claire, John, Hell my god.

478
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 1: The years have not been kind of thank you very much,

479
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 1: But you still got those pretty eyes and that beautiful

480
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 1: soul that throat. Yes, I do. It's a it's a hole.

481
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 1: In my throat, was a smoker in my youth. You

482
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 1: have an extra hair, uh fat, I do keep it

483
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: in my shoe. Here you go, thank you. Anny, go

484
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: here and fix it? Now? What are you doing here?

485
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: He needs to find himself. I'm sorry, I'm I'm done. Yeah,

486
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. But honestly, my mom's never gotten along with

487
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 1: anybody quite as well as you. You seem to like

488
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: her a lot. Hey, this is about you, not about me,

489
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: and you're my father. I appreciate that, and I never

490
00:30:55,120 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: thanked you for anything. I'm here to make things right.

491
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: Thank you. I didn't either. I didn't either. I'm not

492
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: entirely sure. This is kind of a surprise to my mom.

493
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: Wanted to put her on the spot in this moment.

494
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: Is this is? This? Is we as the group? Am I?

495
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 1: Where where are we in this? In this feeling journey

496
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: that you're on? Dad? Are you Dad? I am your father?

497
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: Thank god? Wow? Here we are right TMZ. We got

498
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: some new footage of the heat actually saving an old

499
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: lady from falling into a well. Yeah, things are changing

500
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 1: for the Yeah, Jessica, maybe Jessica, So I guess things

501
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: are going okay with the heat. Good. That's good. Uh,

502
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: pants up, blaz pants up? All right? Hey, hey, hey,

503
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: how's it going? But it's going good. I really need

504
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 1: that Paisley tie and the bingo bengo. My god, thank

505
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: you sucks up. And hey he's on the house. Really yeah,

506
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 1: I'm on the up and up. I have a good day.

507
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm looking for my socks. I put a

508
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: sock and oh my god, oh my god, you shop,

509
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, oh plague. Let go my hair. I

510
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 1: jumped into this well for regent. You can. Yeah, I'm

511
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 1: gonna pull you out of this. It's worth living for.

512
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: Come on out. Hey you thank you so much. Why

513
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 1: did you grab me by the hair? Well? It was

514
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 1: the only thing I could get a good grip off, right,

515
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 1: and well it turned out well you didn't lose it

516
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 1: and in your life, fair enough. But I wasn't planning

517
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: on living through the do you grab me? You were

518
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: trying to kill yourself. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean

519
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: to say. It's so wow. What I watched somebody's I

520
00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 1: was just in the field, but I overheard something pretty disturbed. Hey,

521
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: that's against the law. I can't that's an old woman.

522
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: And then the nominees for Best actor, are come, Come, come,

523
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: Kanye West for Gone Fishing? Wow? Yeah, okay, Denzel Washington

524
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: Training Night, Okay, Horace Delonzio for In the Dark of

525
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 1: the Moon Anthony Hopkins and before Well Story the Heat,

526
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: and the Oscar goes to hold on, hold on, hold on? Yeah, sorry, sorry, guys,

527
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 1: how do I look? What the hell's happened? He just

528
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 1: walked up? This is it too much? Is it too little?

529
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: Who is that I'm presenting? Best Actor? I just want

530
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: to know if it's just going out live? You look great?

531
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: You know? What do you mean? What are you hoping

532
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: to hear? Because I'm just holding that amble. But they're

533
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: like an idiot. Okay, sorry, sorry, okay, good luck, And

534
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 1: the Oscar goes to hold on, hold on a second. Yes,

535
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 1: the shoes. What do you think? Huh? What do you

536
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 1: think of the shoes? I don't think they're I mean

537
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:22,959
Speaker 1: they go in the dark Camera three show what's happening

538
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: in the wings? They go in the dark? Hunt got

539
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: somebody a little more upscale? I mean really kind of

540
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: like a bro fashion moment. What's happening? That looks good? Yeah?

541
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,439
Speaker 1: They're fine? Yeah, who's the guy in the zoot suit?

542
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,320
Speaker 1: And the Oscar goes to for the fourth time in

543
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: the last five all Right, first of all, big thing,

544
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: this is super important, mom. Thank you. He's giving the

545
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 1: speech from his seat, thank you, and then the all right,

546
00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you finish like finish. Oh no, one

547
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 1: of the greatest performances of all time. I'm gonna I

548
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 1: need to take my cleaning. You're playing cone, Connie, please

549
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 1: come over here. How do I look? Fabulous? Man? Thank you?

550
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,240
Speaker 1: Than Where do I get a pair of those serious?

551
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 1: You just go on Amazon, gonna take curious? Oh yeah,

552
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 1: you can't take yours, sir, amazing. Dong thank you? Thank you?

553
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: You say dog or dong dong? Oh, thank you, thank

554
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 1: you again? Dog or dong dong thank you, thank you?

555
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: Mix up best animated shorts but damp welcome back. We've

556
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 1: got the heen today a four time Oscar winner. Uh man,

557
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: oh man. What do the other actors think that are

558
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,320
Speaker 1: in your category these days? Do they think they have

559
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 1: a shot? I mean, you're just unstoppable. I've really like

560
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: they think that I've somehow rigged the system. I get

561
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: a lot of dirty looks for Anthony Hopkins. Yeah. Follow

562
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: up question regarding the system Some say that it's a

563
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 1: quality performance. Others say you made some sort of deal

564
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 1: with the devil, like maybe you're using his taint as assault.

565
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: Like god, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no,

566
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 1: So that didn't happen. That did not have That rumor

567
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: is online. That rumor is incredibly inaccurate. There is not

568
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 1: a shred of truth. So no deal with the James Satan. Listen, uh, James,

569
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:41,800
Speaker 1: It's just I know, it's just a part of the

570
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 1: deal was that people wouldn't know. This takes some of

571
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: my thunder away. Let's talk more. Look, I just I

572
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: feel like part of the deal should be that it's

573
00:36:53,239 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 1: our secret what we're doing. Okay, okay, okay, you're bad

574
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: with the elevating and sick the flow. That's part of

575
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 1: the whole thing. That's why I brought it, part of

576
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 1: the experience. Oh yeah, it's the problem. Oh then it

577
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: should be a problem. The problem should be a problem.

578
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 1: I should leave it alone. Yes, so are we good here?

579
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: So we're gonna we're just gonna be stuck with me

580
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: for a little bit longer. Is that right? Or I

581
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: don't know. It's okay, I gotta get out of here.

582
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: It is hot I have got to get out. Maybe

583
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 1: this is your guy's version of hell. What maybe his

584
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: breath stinks? You guys, wanna that would add to the hell.

585
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. If things start going right, that's when

586
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 1: you know, I gotta poop bed and you can't poop

587
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: in the elevator. But toilet, nor did you want? I'm

588
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,840
Speaker 1: going all the way back down? So I got it

589
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 1: backed down, back and down. Hell, okay, man, I gotta

590
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 1: let this boy slide out. Oh my god, that's your gender.

591
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: Oh you know, I know it's inside me. And then

592
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: I'm a knees for the Hell Awards a come on,

593
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: come on, come on. Satan for fury, Yeah, Satan for wrath, Yeah,

594
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: Satan for being a meanie, and Kyle for fingernail pulling. Bamn,

595
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 1: I didn't get nominated and the Hell Award goes to Kyle. Wow,

596
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: this is another saying Carl, come on up and accept

597
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 1: your award. Carl. I'm sorry, Kyle can't be here. He's

598
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: mugging his skin removed, so got you? Oh okay, no,

599
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: we know Satan won all the awards. Again. Satan has

600
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 1: a special guest with it this. You can't see him

601
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,800
Speaker 1: because his head is so far up my ass, but

602
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: of my ass, I got time Oscar Award winner. Oh

603
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 1: so um yeah, I'm sorry to say this, but are

604
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 1: you sorry? I gotta stop acting. Oh, don't do this,

605
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 1: I have don't do this to your mother and may.

606
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but there's no chance. I mean, you've been

607
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 1: out there only six years. What's the big deal. You

608
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 1: can't give up. I'm going to give up. We need to,

609
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 1: We need you to keep going a zero zone. I know. Look,

610
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna open up a law firm slash paint business,

611
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: and then just just go this, just do what everyone

612
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 1: else does. You can't pass the bar seven times you've tried,

613
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: Maybe the eighth time will be my ticket in right,

614
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: and then you'll open up the law shop. Yes, and

615
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 1: cut really nice seeing everybody, really really nice. Thank you.

616
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 1: You know, I was sinking to something about when I'm

617
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 1: signing I'm open up the paint shop and law firm

618
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: and wondering what's my drive with it? You know? Get um, sorry,

619
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: is this a motivation conversation? Because I could be doing something.

620
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 1: I think you should all listen to his motivation conversation. Frankly,

621
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: when you have any questions, I need you to always

622
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: put your gaze up to the poster of the heat.

623
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 1: He's the greatest living actor of our generation. What would

624
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,359
Speaker 1: he do? You know, what would inspire him? And here

625
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: we go and action mom, Dad, I got some bad news.

626
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 1: What's going on? I think I'm gonna quit acting. Yeah,

627
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 1: it's just it's just not working out. I think when

628
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 1: I opened up that law firm, slash pain business. I'm sorry, Steve,

629
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: you said actors don't you'll cut. But who's he supposed

630
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 1: to be looking out on the scene And there's no

631
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: connection at all. That's a great question. I don't understand, Elliott.

632
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: I can't believe you just did that. I was the

633
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: first time I felt like the cameras were actually on me.

634
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 1: They weren't, And I was killing it well. I was

635
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 1: trying to say both of us a little bit of time,

636
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: were you? Thank you? Patriarchy? I love I see what

637
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: you know? How much he's making for this movie? I do,

638
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 1: I see what's going on? How much? Because I don't

639
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 1: know it's an unfair wage. Look, none of us here

640
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 1: are the heat no, And I think we're all suffering

641
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: a bit because of that. We all feel like we're

642
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: laughing with the man Man, he's the world's greatest might

643
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: he did one movie with him? It was great. Thank

644
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 1: Our story was from testing to see the reason the

645
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: movies great though, just signing that it was a collaboration

646
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 1: of efforts, is anyway we can get more Brits to

647
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: take our jobs. By the way, television theater, there's sucking

648
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 1: clotted cream crafty. Okay, don't love it. Lady and gentlemen,

649
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,320
Speaker 1: you look familiar. No no, no, no, no, no, no,

650
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: you do. But what do I know you're from? It's

651
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: probably just we've shot at the same Ralph's or something

652
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: like that, which Ralph's shop Lincoln on in Venice. I

653
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 1: was in the movie The Well, The Well. It was

654
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 1: a pretty popular What do I know you're from? Well,

655
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: I've gotten three oscars? You guys want to happen. I'm

656
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: not with this person. Actually, please don't sit here. Hey,

657
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: can you tell me how you were about us through

658
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 1: the zoo? Okay, got it. It's the only option at

659
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 1: the zoo. So that's why I'm eating here, and that's

660
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: why we were all here piping up. I was just

661
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 1: sitting by myself. Really, you should just go for the

662
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 1: spaghetti because everything except that is disgusting. I gonna be honest. Uh,

663
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 1: you were the heat, right? I am the heat? Um?

664
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 1: I mean I knew who you were. Okay, well why

665
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:48,720
Speaker 1: did you play coy? I don't know. Well, honestly, somebody's

666
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 1: going to be sitting in that seat soon, so is it. No,

667
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 1: it's my mother, and if she sees you sitting here,

668
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 1: it's gonna be weird for both of us. Well, best

669
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,479
Speaker 1: eluct man. I hope, hope everything. What's your favorite movie?

670
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: Who is this? Cloud? Mom? This is just this is

671
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: just what? Who is it? I didn't ask his name yet?

672
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 1: Who are you which? Trying to have a private conversation?

673
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:14,439
Speaker 1: You could abc your way out of it. Okay, well

674
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: look I just wanted to uh pretty face. Well thanks, No, Mom,

675
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 1: this is just this is my fan. I'm not a fan.

676
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: I just okay, he said, But I said, lap okay,

677
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: please don't mom. I got some bad news about your daddy.

678
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,839
Speaker 1: We don't share this here. It's okay. He stuck in here.

679
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 1: He doesn't mind what happened. What happen that he invited

680
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 1: me back to a homestay, that that he's going to

681
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: go on a journey self discovered it just to introduced

682
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: me to this man that we've known that he was right?

683
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 1: Are you your father? Apparently he was surprised to all

684
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,760
Speaker 1: of us. We have a hot and every three months

685
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 1: my son. Meanwhile, I was filming. What were you filming?

686
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 1: It was doing that is something or other. I come

687
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 1: back to get my wigs. I don't even he don't

688
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 1: even call me twice. This my my my dad father.

689
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: I'm on the market. I hate him. I like you.

690
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: Let's do the math. Where's the banana? Don't order the

691
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: ho banana please, mama. I'm on, damn. Do you want

692
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: to get out of here and see some banoba's? Yeah?

693
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 1: Those are freaking ones, right, honey. Yeah, they're the craziest

694
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: sucks in town. That drop him there. Our final scene

695
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: today comes from Andrew in the UK, who wrote, Morning Alchemist,

696
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 1: thank you for being my go to podcast when it

697
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,880
Speaker 1: needs something to make me laugh. I haven't scene suggested.

698
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 1: Experienced wedding photographer becomes increasingly impatient with the helpful shots

699
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 1: suggestions from the bride and groom. Sincerely, Andrew from the UK. Okay,

700
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 1: so this is like a jungle background. If I could

701
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 1: just set you guys in front of it for starters. Uh,

702
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 1: that would be great. Okay, we trust you. Yeah, well

703
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: it's great. That's what you're paying me for. Okay, Um,

704
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 1: deborrah is that right? Okay? If you want to stand,

705
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 1: if you want, that's probably more professional. If the bride

706
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: could stand closer to the grooms for the shot. Oh,

707
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,799
Speaker 1: we want to have a little bit of space. We're

708
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 1: making the mistake, sorry, Chris the groom. Ye little space

709
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 1: between this place. Yeah, just a little space. Sure, absolutely,

710
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:47,280
Speaker 1: whatever you two want, that's what we'll do today. Okay.

711
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 1: I mean what we want might not be what we get.

712
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 1: I think we've that's exactly what's happening here. I agree

713
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,919
Speaker 1: something we agree on. You don't always get what you want.

714
00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: I believe that was the rolling stuff. Yeah, yeah, I

715
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,760
Speaker 1: can't always get what you want, that's right. Ain't always

716
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,399
Speaker 1: going to get what you want? Can you take the phone? Sure,

717
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 1: here's what I want. Ain't gonna get it? I think

718
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 1: that might be. Yeah, here's what you want I ain't. Yeah, okay,

719
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,919
Speaker 1: what song is that? It's just one of my songs.

720
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: I like you guys both know it all right, big smiles.

721
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 1: It's my day, it's my day, it's your smiling I'll smile. Okay,

722
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 1: now if I you do to look at each other

723
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 1: just gets into each other's just look for not doing

724
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:41,280
Speaker 1: that one bridegroom, brideer groom, what do you mean, bridegroom?

725
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: We're not getting married? No no, no, no no, what're

726
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: not getting married? Were kind of friends and we're gonna

727
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 1: let us from wecame his friends and we're leaving his friends.

728
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 1: He's not I'm paying anything for this wedding. I mean,

729
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: he's a honey. What is there a cocktail our? Because

730
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 1: there cocktail? Where did the Brighter group? Which who do

731
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:13,800
Speaker 1: you know? Out about? Fifteen years ago? Again? But not

732
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 1: to die? You have an invitation? No? Sorry, I'm is

733
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: awso there? Would you mind grabbing it so I can direct? Yeah,

734
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,359
Speaker 1: we had her car valet, so it's like we don't

735
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 1: have it next to us. But we well we're with

736
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 1: thee but we're not together with the group. We're definitely

737
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:38,240
Speaker 1: with the group with the groom. Okay, sir, you understand

738
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 1: your daughter is just difficult to be around. Hum, but

739
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 1: you did get her pregnant right, correct me if I'm

740
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,480
Speaker 1: wrong having a baby, you got me there. It just

741
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 1: feels like there should be more we don't like each other.

742
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 1: Did you guys like each other when you got married?

743
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 1: Of course we did. Okay, Well, we got to know

744
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 1: each other better, loved each other. Sure, Sure, And I

745
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,839
Speaker 1: appreciate you putting the bill on this. I mean, you're

746
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 1: obviously a very wealthy man. I made a bang for

747
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,360
Speaker 1: the damn thing. Remember as well, I have the damn thing. Yeah, no,

748
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 1: I know, it's just what are you guys talking about? Oh,

749
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,399
Speaker 1: you look so pretty. You shouldn't be into the same room.

750
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: It's fine, we've already seen each other to each other. Hey, Hey, hey, Debbie,

751
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 1: I was just saying that this is a bummer. This

752
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: is a real fucking bummer what we've got everybody here.

753
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 1: We paid for the damn thing, we might as well

754
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,239
Speaker 1: do the damn thing. Is that really the attitude that

755
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 1: you want your daughter to have on our wedding day? Look,

756
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: we paid for the best photographer. He's done so many

757
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 1: jungle shoots over the years, and uh, I want to

758
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 1: get it. I want to get a shot of of

759
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 1: every own. We'll get your parents, and we'll get Deborah

760
00:48:56,360 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 1: and me and Mrs carlus Good and uh and everybody

761
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 1: from the wedding party, all right. Can we get her

762
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:09,479
Speaker 1: absolutely sorright the straights? I am you're kind of running

763
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 1: this thing. Can you get all of our family members together?

764
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a one big group photos actually just

765
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: had I don't one can gather by the fountain, but

766
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: just something to talk to you about. What are you

767
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 1: talking to him about? You could talk to both of us,

768
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 1: I understand, but there's a couple from from his side

769
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: that I thought he should be aware of. God, your people,

770
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 1: it seems that one of your family members or friends

771
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:30,320
Speaker 1: has brought ketch up into his coat pocket and he

772
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 1: seems to be eating it out of his coat pocket.

773
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 1: Just just so you know. I thought it was butted first,

774
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 1: and I alerted the e MT. But it was just

775
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,879
Speaker 1: so you know what. I don't want to get cut.

776
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 1: I don't want me to see him he saw you.

777
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 1: We've better drink it all here. I'm feeling those old

778
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 1: flames again. We should. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We're taking

779
00:49:55,080 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 1: a group photo. Um you here, you have some catchup talk.

780
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:08,760
Speaker 1: That's fancy up, that's fine's lipsick, that's fine. Uh bunsive

781
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 1: nors lips. It's on your cheek. So you should just

782
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 1: know that it's because we kissed. Because the way you

783
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: talked to us earlier, you get his thinking. Maybe we

784
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: do let each other. Maybe there's something there off By

785
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: me asking you what side of the bridal party got

786
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 1: you guys thinking about it doesn't matter. We are taking

787
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 1: a group photo. We're doing it right in front of

788
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: the church. So just come out there. You should see

789
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,479
Speaker 1: right by the line enclosure right to the right of that. Okay,

790
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: all right, thank you, give me a score. So okay,

791
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 1: everyone just like jungle background set up. That's how we're

792
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 1: talking to me. What's going on the jungle. I'm getting

793
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:54,240
Speaker 1: somebody why jungle because I feel like in the jungle

794
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 1: you can get lost, you can be free, and I

795
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: feel like maybe that's what you want. This guy we're

796
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 1: shooting in danger black Ryno was in Tanzania three days ago.

797
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 1: Thank you. Now he's here for our wedding. Roger you called,

798
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 1: you pick up a phone. I'm here. It's a pleasure,

799
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,800
Speaker 1: my pleasure. Let's just get this thing over with. Okay.

800
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 1: By the way, I had to receive from the airfair

801
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 1: great to get that to you. Yeah, So if everyone

802
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,919
Speaker 1: could just gather here, UM, tell me, do you matter

803
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 1: if we do like a funny face. I am, what's happening?

804
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 1: I'm can you see me? Hello? Broke, do you mind

805
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,360
Speaker 1: if we do a funny phase? I do mind, so

806
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 1: let's do it. Then has a YouTube channel. She's really funny. Okay,

807
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:42,839
Speaker 1: h Hello, let's do a funny face and then let's

808
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:47,959
Speaker 1: do like a flash mob. Yeah. I like that. Roger

809
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:52,439
Speaker 1: playing it? Roger, what's happening? Sure? Sure, sure, sure, your

810
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:55,800
Speaker 1: your niece or nephew. Brooke is gonna friend run the

811
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 1: It's my friend, daddy, It's Brooke. You know, Broke, she's

812
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: the funny one. She always is. A video we all

813
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:07,839
Speaker 1: have fifteen million views. Wow, I was in Tanzania three

814
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 1: days ago. Nobody so much funny? Something funny? Brook? What

815
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 1: do you think? What do you think is funny? I

816
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 1: clearly don't know what's in your I can throw flaces

817
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 1: on people's knees, Sir, put your gun down, put your

818
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 1: gun away, because you're goddamn head. They're with me, they're

819
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:37,799
Speaker 1: with me, they're with me. This is your family. If

820
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 1: you have to put a word, you have to put

821
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 1: a word, I guess it would be family. You got

822
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,319
Speaker 1: a pocket full of catch up that it's not full.

823
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 1: It's not full, it's and it's safe to travel with.

824
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: So listen, we need a fucking hell Mary from you.

825
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 1: You got it. Do your Brooke magic, you got it.

826
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 1: Pump it up, Brook. Let me know when you're reading

827
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 1: a right, Okay, let me get right next to you. Okay.

828
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 1: So everyone look at me and your your name was Duncan. Okay,

829
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: So what we're gonna do is Duncan here is gonna

830
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 1: take a photo of all of us, right, so and

831
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 1: just stay behind me. Everyone hears together, and let's all

832
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 1: just go, oh my god, everybody, Oh my god, it's fun.

833
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: I'm Duncan. Well anyway, I really like to get some

834
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 1: pictures that we can remember the wedding bike because these

835
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 1: ones all look like a frat party. So if you

836
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 1: know that, my husb Brooks stand down for the rest

837
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 1: of my life. Listen, I'm not in charge of Brooke.

838
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 1: We're paying you to take pictures, and it looks like

839
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 1: I'd love to take back control of the photo. Please

840
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 1: excuse me, everybody. Um, Debrah and I decided to do

841
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 1: things a little different. We're not gonna go walk into

842
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 1: the church and do the whole deal. A matter of fact,

843
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 1: I'm taking up the vowels that I had written rideously.

844
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,839
Speaker 1: I'm ripping them up before you. I have some new

845
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,359
Speaker 1: things to say, and I'm gonna say him. Now, stop him.

846
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:24,759
Speaker 1: I hired staying to the ceremony. Send them back. I

847
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: just first I gotta thank Brooke. Where are you? You're

848
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 1: so funny? And that beat? Yeah, I just make that.

849
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 1: I know you did, and it sparked something. It reignited

850
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,319
Speaker 1: the feelings I had when I first met you at

851
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 1: that bar. Million views already and we had a one

852
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:52,280
Speaker 1: night stand, you got pregnant, we're getting married. That usually

853
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 1: does not make for a happy circumstance. But then I

854
00:54:56,560 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 1: added a little beet bop boop to my soul, and

855
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,359
Speaker 1: I can see a future with you, Debbie. I can

856
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 1: see one with you two. And we're having like this

857
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 1: big party with all of our friends. Thank you, Dad,

858
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 1: Thank you Roger sting Um. They don't want to use you.

859
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,359
Speaker 1: To mean that they don't want to use you. What's

860
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 1: that use me? Yeah? I mean well as they you

861
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 1: know they're gonna do. You mean, I don't need to

862
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 1: go on because that would be aces with me, right, Yeah, yeah,

863
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 1: that that's no show. The groom just decided. Well, the

864
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 1: agents order to receive the check, so I don't really care.

865
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to time. I'm the bride's agent. There's a

866
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 1: young YouTuber named Brooke who would love to do a

867
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 1: skit with you for her channel, right, and we yeah,

868
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 1: your name? You want to bring her in? Seventeen million

869
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 1: subscribers sting calling me fascinated, All right, bring her in? Hi?

870
00:55:56,440 --> 00:56:01,360
Speaker 1: Hi are you Brooke? I am Brooke. Oh my god, Julian,

871
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god, how are you call me? Whatever you like?

872
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:07,880
Speaker 1: This is crazy? Oh my god. There's so many sandwiches

873
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:09,919
Speaker 1: on that plat. I have a sandwich, love, you could

874
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 1: use one. Thank you about unds. I'm only three too, Okay,

875
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,920
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means my height. So I

876
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: was thinking years old. No, no, I'm only three too.

877
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 1: So what I'm thinking is that thank you. So what

878
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:30,399
Speaker 1: I'm thinking is how did you get on to YouTube? Well?

879
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,320
Speaker 1: I took a video with my phone and then I

880
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:36,319
Speaker 1: uploaded it and then hold up down by writting this down.

881
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 1: So you took a video with your phone? How does

882
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:43,720
Speaker 1: that work? You just hit record and then I uploaded

883
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 1: it and then your phone need to be on yeah,

884
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,879
Speaker 1: all right? And then I got sponsored by fashion Nova,

885
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 1: and then I got emotion who I got sponsored by

886
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,680
Speaker 1: fashion Nova, and then that's it? Okay, and then what

887
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 1: were we doing? So I was thinking we could do

888
00:56:56,680 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: something really funny. Come, let's have sexually in this room.

889
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:09,239
Speaker 1: Yeah you might remember this. We got married and you

890
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,400
Speaker 1: played at our wedding fifteen years ago. Of course I remember,

891
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 1: were still together. Oh yeah, let's have sex in this room?

892
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 1: Was sex in this room? Oh? Hi? Broke? Hi? What

893
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: was this? Your skit broke? No? Well no, I was

894
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:30,920
Speaker 1: thinking we can do that. Everyone was gonna fucking you

895
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 1: and I were gonna talk Mrs Kiver, let's have sex

896
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 1: in this room, okay, romany I was told that I'm

897
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 1: not performing, and yet you're all coming in. Well, we

898
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,680
Speaker 1: still love it, if you say, because I can full

899
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 1: fact of the hotel. No no, no, no, no, we're

900
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 1: bad for you to hang around. It's gonna cherk off

901
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:54,040
Speaker 1: in this room, just gonna check off. What the hell

902
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 1: you are? Sorry? Mate? On the way in, you would

903
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 1: talking to yourself, Yeah you go, ch off. I was

904
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:09,040
Speaker 1: looking for the curtains and your hand was down your

905
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 1: pants on your dick was hard. There's one thing I

906
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 1: learned today. It was being a groom, A reluctant groom.

907
00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:21,440
Speaker 1: Is that whoa earlier I was reluctant, so were you?

908
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 1: I was too, But I don't like it when you

909
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 1: say it's fair enough. But here's what I learned that

910
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 1: there's no more need for judgment. If you want to

911
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 1: jack off, if you guys want to have sex, if

912
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,520
Speaker 1: I want to make love to my wife and you

913
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 1: and my baby while Sting sings us a song my

914
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:44,120
Speaker 1: body and my body. Now the show is back on?

915
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 1: Is that what I'm marrying? And I like you got

916
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 1: stark wal you do right? Right? I love this thing.

917
00:58:54,640 --> 00:59:00,160
Speaker 1: That's great. Appreciate also you yourself thing. It wasn't easy bad? No?

918
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:03,160
Speaker 1: You know? Is it a verb name I tried to

919
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 1: rename mussel? No, but I wanted to take them home.

920
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 1: What was it? Slap? Let's give it a go, hey, slap?

921
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 1: How's it going good to see your slape? Th right?

922
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:24,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like slap works for you. It

923
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 1: didn't look much like a slap to me. And what

924
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:32,680
Speaker 1: was your name? Mate? Names jan John John? That fits

925
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 1: you because it's forgettable. Do you know what I mean?

926
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 1: You know what I mean by the way I like

927
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 1: everyone to know that they're all getting a DVD. I've

928
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 1: I've heard the best videographer in the business. He used

929
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 1: to do security for the zoo. So me roaming around

930
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 1: but oh wow, yeah I was. I was wondering y'all's camouflages. Neat. Yeah,

931
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 1: it was the next year in the party zone and

932
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 1: you were taking the biggest step ever heard. You're gonna

933
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:07,600
Speaker 1: see a lot of pleasure. That's our true Thank you

934
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:10,200
Speaker 1: all for listening and joining us here. Remember if you'd

935
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 1: like your scene suggestion turned into that yet your name here?

936
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 1: Give me this dot com Joey Greer, thank you so

937
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:21,560
Speaker 1: much for being here. Happy to be all right. Thank you,

938
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 1: and folks can find you on the interwebs. Jeffy Greeber,

939
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. James Any, thanks for

940
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:31,840
Speaker 1: having me back again. Oh gosh, it's great to be welcome. Hey,

941
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 1: did you have a good time it sketch fest in

942
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 1: San Francis. God, it was the best sketch fest I've

943
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:39,600
Speaker 1: ever been. That's pretty great. Yeah. I mean a lot

944
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 1: of people showed up, but I don't guess we should

945
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:44,560
Speaker 1: thank them first. Thank everybody who came and saw us.

946
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 1: It made us feel really good to have a packed

947
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 1: house to perform at the punchline. And honestly, that was

948
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 1: the first time I've gotten to be in the presence

949
01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 1: of you doing stand up. Uh, you did an awesome

950
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 1: job opening the show. Oh my goodness, was that What

951
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 1: that was? I mean, it was awesome. Welcome back to

952
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:02,600
Speaker 1: wing in it. None of that was None of that

953
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:06,360
Speaker 1: was written. The joke that I called myself out on

954
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 1: for being a forty one year old joke was in

955
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:10,960
Speaker 1: fact at one point written, but forty one years ago.

956
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 1: Yeah that my grandfather worked on the Golden Gate Bridge,

957
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 1: gave his life, uh not while working on the bridge

958
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:20,640
Speaker 1: back then. If he didn't have a toll, they shot you. Yeah,

959
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 1: it still works for you one years later. But thank you.

960
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:26,840
Speaker 1: And now you're you're seeing me to sit down. Craig Kakowski, Kakow,

961
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:29,240
Speaker 1: that was so much fun. San Francisco one of the

962
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:32,600
Speaker 1: top five sketch fests I've ever been, five or five

963
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 1: or six, I'd say, at Kakowski on Twitter c A

964
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:39,160
Speaker 1: C K O W S k I at c. Kikowski

965
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:45,000
Speaker 1: on Instagram c C A c W S. But that's

966
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: the raggling Dash and Chip Butter dot Com yeah, go

967
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: check it out. We got all sorts of stuff. We're

968
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 1: gonna do a lot of great things this year. It

969
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,880
Speaker 1: was good be nice to each other. Yeah, please be nice.

970
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 1: Don't forget that part. Christoperun Yeah, man, so much fun.

971
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 1: I'll so. I just love the art that everyone's sending

972
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 1: our way to all my grasp It's it's like flattering

973
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:08,760
Speaker 1: and exciting and all of it all at the same time.

974
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,080
Speaker 1: So let's keep doing that, please. Yeah, we'll so inspired

975
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:13,400
Speaker 1: to do so posting it to we We love our

976
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 1: fans um contributions in a big, big way. Good point.

977
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:19,880
Speaker 1: Let's thank our producer and engineer of the stars, Mr

978
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 1: Doug Babe, and the fine folks that I heart media.

979
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 1: We're loving you. I'm Kevin. Probably your house until next time.

980
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:02,360
Speaker 1: Up to the