1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:09,640 Speaker 1: You don't know confession. I can't take that ol arm Mouse. 2 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 2: Speaker text to seven eighty five nine two says there's 3 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 2: a guy at my work who always says pardon me 4 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 2: whenever he sneezes, drives me f and nuts because I mean, 5 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 2: we normally don't say. 6 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 3: Anything after you sneeze, right, I always say or I 7 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:34,919 Speaker 3: guess gen Z would say big oof, my bad. I mean, 8 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 3: we're not proper here, We're not even close. So don't 9 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 3: feel guilty about coming on the show to share your 10 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 3: dirtiest oofs. Like here on the mass speaker. 11 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 1: As much fun as you need. 12 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 3: Like today's oof queen who's chosen to go by the 13 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,839 Speaker 3: fake name Jamie today. 14 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 4: So Jamie, welcome to the show. 15 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 1: Hi, Oh my god, I can't believe I'm doing this 16 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: right now. 17 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 4: That's fine, I love sweet, good for you. 18 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 3: We're ready for your voice changers on. You are the 19 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 3: mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. 20 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: Okay. So last summer I was pregnant, and this one 21 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: particular day, it was a beautiful day. I had gone 22 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: on a long like solo walk like they just did, 23 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: like the loop around my neighborhood and I had walked 24 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 1: by this house that had like balloons on the mailbox, 25 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: and I realized, oh, like, there must be like a 26 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: birthday party happening or something. And as soon as that 27 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 1: thought entered my mind, like the moment I thought about it, 28 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: I just started to crave cake, like really really being 29 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: pregnant so wild. 30 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just crave cake even if I don't see you, yeah, 31 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 3: all the time. 32 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 5: A different level of craving. 33 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 4: I can imagine. 34 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 1: You can smell it, you could taste it like you 35 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: need it in that moment. Yes. The only problem was 36 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 1: I didn't have any cake at home, and I wasn't 37 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: going to go drive like twenty minutes to the grocery 38 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: store to like pick up cake or anything. So I 39 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: decided to just walk around the side of the house 40 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: and kind of crash the birthday party. 41 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 4: Oh god, wait, did you know did you know these neighbors? 42 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,639 Speaker 1: No, but I could hear. I could hear what was 43 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: happening in the record. It was like a kid's birthday party. 44 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: So I just kind of walked in. 45 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 4: Oh my god, Oh, you could totally do that. I 46 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 4: mean you could be like, oh, that one over. 47 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 2: There is mine, Yeah, without fully pointing it any actual child. 48 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 5: Also, if you're pregnant lady, totally, if you're like a 49 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 5: random single guy, like yeah. 50 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: You're like I blended in well good. Yeah, like other parents, 51 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: I just smiled at them. I was just like, oh, 52 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: I'm an old family friend, you know whatever, like be. 53 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 4: Nice, what's funny. 54 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 5: You're going to eventually meet these people because now you 55 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 5: have a kid and there's like daycars. 56 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,960 Speaker 4: You know, at some point they'll be in the schools 57 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 4: the same bus stop. Don't did you find the cake? 58 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: Oh I did? I did. I found the table with 59 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: the birthday cake. It had not been cut yet, and 60 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 1: I did. I so I killed time and it was 61 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: really hard because I was at this point, I'm like 62 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 1: now starving and I have to have this cake. 63 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 5: Yeah. 64 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,519 Speaker 1: And even I remember like waiting and the dad walked 65 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 1: by me at one point and he looked at me 66 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: kind of weird, and I just gave him the thumbs 67 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: up and said, like great party, and he like smiled. 68 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: I guess he thought maybe I was I don't know 69 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: one of the parents or something. 70 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my dad would not know any of my 71 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 3: friend's parents even to this day. 72 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 4: Your dad might not even know your own mom. Oh 73 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 4: my god, okay, you passed the dad test. 74 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: Pass the dad and then so like it was probably 75 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: like another say like twenty minutes. 76 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 4: That's a lot of time to kill. 77 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 1: It was a long time. It was commitment. I drove 78 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: to the store. 79 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, I just dropping hints like this kids practically opening itself. 80 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: Walking the kids, I was thinking it for sure. Did 81 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: they finally cut it into it? 82 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 5: Did you have to sing and do it all? 83 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: Yeah? They sang the birthday song I pretended to know, 84 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: like the birthday boy's. 85 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 4: Name flyers out of his name. How was the cake? 86 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was so good, totally worth it. 87 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 1: They did give me like kind of a small slice. 88 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 4: Though you give the pregnant lady a little slice, that's 89 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 4: not cool. 90 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,359 Speaker 1: Okay, I went back and took like two more slices. 91 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: Never got caught. Nothing bad ever came a have you 92 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: seen the neighbors since? 93 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 4: Like, do you wish the kid? Like, Hey, your birthday 94 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 4: is coming up. 95 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,279 Speaker 1: I can't wait to enjoy the party. I have not 96 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,720 Speaker 1: run into them, but full disclosure, I can't believe I'm 97 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,600 Speaker 1: saying this. I did the same exact thing like a 98 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: couple of weeks later, on a different I saw balloon. 99 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 1: The women got my cake. 100 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:17,840 Speaker 4: This is a hack of. 101 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 5: Pregnant ladies, got fun neighborhood. 102 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, you got cake money. 103 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: There's a lot of kids and a lot of cake. 104 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: And honestly, like, I've always felt really ashamed for crashing 105 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: two kids' birthday parties. 106 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, when kids like I didn't really have a birthday 107 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 5: because some lady ate on my cake. 108 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 2: I don't remember their birthday parties. 109 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 3: So now exactly, you're a serial children's birthday party crasher. 110 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,280 Speaker 1: Well, not anymore, only when I was pregnant. Only when 111 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,039 Speaker 1: I was pregnant. I don't do this like as a 112 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,039 Speaker 1: career or anything. 113 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,799 Speaker 4: You've been tempted, though, Let's be honest. 114 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: All you do now is. 115 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 5: You walk around with a fake pregnancy positive test. Pregnant lady, 116 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 5: you're like a Now you have a baby, you can 117 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 5: go anywhere. Oh yeah that's easier. 118 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 4: Wow, con Do you feel better now that you confessed? 119 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 2: No? 120 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,720 Speaker 1: I know you guys made it funny, at least for me, 121 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: of something I've never told anyone. You're gonna be really 122 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: paranoid at your own kid's birthday party. Yeah, there's a list, Yeah, everybody, 123 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: who are you? 124 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 3: Oh that's really funny Jamie text in seven eight, five, 125 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 3: nine two. If you have a confession you've been holding 126 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 3: on to, we can hide your identity, mask your voice, 127 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 3: and make you our next mass speaker. 128 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 4: Your phone TAP's coming up. 129 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,160 Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.