Speaker 1: My name is Alex, and sometimes I absolutely hate social media.
Speaker 1: Nor no, al right, will be alright forever, No, be alright, alright,
Speaker 1: we'll be alrights ever, what is up, y'all? You thought
Speaker 1: we were done, We're not. We never die. We are
Speaker 1: here right now. We had to do an extra episode
Speaker 1: because the way that we do this podcast, um, is
Speaker 1: that I get to talk to Catherine, who shout outs
Speaker 1: to Catherine as we end this season, like just absolutely
Speaker 1: fantastic and work so hard on this podcast, Like you're
Speaker 1: you're just absolutely I know you can hear me right now,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to edit this and you can't
Speaker 1: cut this out. I'm not gonna let you. But you're
Speaker 1: absolutely fantastic, um. And and it's just so much fun.
Speaker 1: But we just talk about what we want to talk about.
Speaker 1: So we're like, you know what, let's give him a
Speaker 1: bonus episode. And this episode is going to be talking
Speaker 1: about Instagram. And I want to preface this whole thing
Speaker 1: because I'm very, very ucky that I that I've been
Speaker 1: able to build an amazing group of people who support
Speaker 1: this journey that I'm on, especially on Instagram. UM, So
Speaker 1: I don't want this to be me kind of looking
Speaker 1: this gift horse in the mouth and and just pretending
Speaker 1: that it's not an awesome thing that can be used
Speaker 1: in an amazing way. But I think it was very
Speaker 1: important to me and to Catherine to talk about the
Speaker 1: reality of the negative aspects of social media, especially Instagram.
Speaker 1: I will be the first one on this podcast to
Speaker 1: say I'm gonna I'm just gonna come out and say it.
Speaker 1: I face tuned my photos sometimes I still do. I
Speaker 1: still do to this day if I have like a
Speaker 1: big pimple on my forehead, or if I feel a
Speaker 1: little bit bloated or this or that, and I do it.
Speaker 1: And it's the worst thing because I don't know what
Speaker 1: makes me do it. But everybody that I talked to
Speaker 1: also does it, and we all do it. And it
Speaker 1: was just one of those things where I just remember
Speaker 1: thinking about it and being like, Yo, that's not that's
Speaker 1: not right, right, Like we're not all just faking what
Speaker 1: we look like because one person did it or one
Speaker 1: person actually looks like that, so we all have to
Speaker 1: try and fake our way there. And that's just one
Speaker 1: aspect of it, you know. I I see people who
Speaker 1: I know flexing this this a brand new car or
Speaker 1: a brand new watch, or you see people who I
Speaker 1: know aren't necessarily in the happiest relationship posting about how
Speaker 1: amazing their their relationship is. And I think it's not
Speaker 1: about telling everybody exactly what's going on. But I think
Speaker 1: that we've reached a certain level, especially in the last
Speaker 1: few years, of just over over hyping what's going on
Speaker 1: and not talking about the reality of things. I actually
Speaker 1: one of the through lines of this last year, especially
Speaker 1: with with everything going on in society, one of my
Speaker 1: through lines that I saw was that it did get
Speaker 1: real for a second, got very real for a second.
Speaker 1: I think it kind of shed a light on the
Speaker 1: idea that we can be real, that we can stand
Speaker 1: up for what we believe in, and we can be
Speaker 1: who we really are, and we can talk about all
Speaker 1: of that. I have some amazing guests on today and
Speaker 1: we're gonna get into them for a bit. But first
Speaker 1: I just I couldn't stop but think, is anything on
Speaker 1: Instagram real? What is up? This is? Let's get into it.
Speaker 1: I'm alex I O no, this is my podcast. This
Speaker 1: is the last. This is I promised the actual last, Like,
Speaker 1: we're not doing another encore after this. This is the end.
Speaker 1: The final and we're talking about Instagram and its effects
Speaker 1: on reality, how Instagram changes reality. And I have to
Speaker 1: absolutely fantastic guests on here today. One of them is
Speaker 1: I I. We have the craziest story that we're gonna
Speaker 1: get into of how we know each other or the
Speaker 1: way that we actually ended up connecting with each other.
Speaker 1: He is an absolutely phenomenal artist. The the idea of
Speaker 1: a journeyman, a man that I know, is proof that
Speaker 1: good people in the industry when that you can be happy,
Speaker 1: You can have the American dream of a life with
Speaker 1: a beautiful wife and a beautiful child. Just became a
Speaker 1: dad this last year, so many amazing things, releases, brand
Speaker 1: new single Blueberry Eyes, dropped a remix of it. Everything
Speaker 1: you might know him. My favorite song of his is
Speaker 1: still Lights Down Low. I know it's I know it's
Speaker 1: corny to say, but he is one of my favorite artists.
Speaker 1: And he also sent me a Rubik's Cube if you
Speaker 1: know I love Rubik's Cubes. And he's got He's just
Speaker 1: got the best march in the game. He is my friend,
Speaker 1: and I'm so happy to say that he's my friend.
Speaker 1: The one and only Max. What's up man? That's so
Speaker 1: happy to be on the podcast. Thanks for dude. I'm
Speaker 1: so happy that you're here and and you of all
Speaker 1: people you know, like I mentioned, not only just in
Speaker 1: the social media around, but you understand the journey, you know,
Speaker 1: you understand what it takes to be an artist, all
Speaker 1: of the good, all of the bad, all of the ugly.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited that we get to jump into it.
Speaker 1: Also with us, I have a writer, a perfectionism expert.
Speaker 1: I had never heard of this term, and it's so cool.
Speaker 1: A perfectionism expert. The founder of Monday Vibes, which is
Speaker 1: a personal growth newsletter and a network for women UM.
Speaker 1: She studied burnout and perfectionism at Columbia University. If you
Speaker 1: don't know what that is, major school UM, and if
Speaker 1: you don't know what that is, you probably won't get
Speaker 1: there UM and is currently working on her first book
Speaker 1: right now, The One and Only Elizabeth Sue. How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm so good. Thank you for having me. Oh, thank
Speaker 1: you for being here. I mean, I think it's what
Speaker 1: I love about this setup. And again, Catherine, love you
Speaker 1: to death, because you really set this up perfectly. As
Speaker 1: we have somebody who's an expert on this exact topic
Speaker 1: that we're talking about, and you have two people, including myself,
Speaker 1: who are living it like still to this day, are
Speaker 1: living it. So we're gonna be getting into some sick topics,
Speaker 1: first one being that Instagram isn't real, uh. The sec
Speaker 1: what topic is going to be that we're just consumed
Speaker 1: by our screens. And last, but not least, we're gonna
Speaker 1: be all talking together about taking the control back into
Speaker 1: our own hands. But before we get into that, I
Speaker 1: have a question that I ask every single one of
Speaker 1: my guests. This is the last time that I get
Speaker 1: to ask this question for the season, and I think
Speaker 1: next season we'll have a new question because we've gotten
Speaker 1: a ton of different answers. That question is what have
Speaker 1: you been doing this week to improve yourself, your life?
Speaker 1: You know anything? There's I one time I talked about
Speaker 1: how I built a garden. Another time how I talked
Speaker 1: about how I let myself eat a doughnut every day
Speaker 1: for a week. So we've done there. No answer is
Speaker 1: off as off limits. I would say for me, the
Speaker 1: biggest thing that I've been doing is it's something that
Speaker 1: I used to do all the time and then I
Speaker 1: stopped doing it for a while. It's making my bed
Speaker 1: in the morning. And I remember watching this like old
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was a Ted talk or
Speaker 1: it was like a speech about and this like this
Speaker 1: military vet. It was talking about when you meet you know,
Speaker 1: when you make your bed in the morning, you have
Speaker 1: a calm, You start your day by accomplishing something, and
Speaker 1: it sets you on the right path. It also reminds
Speaker 1: me that I'm not allowed to get back in bed
Speaker 1: until it's bedtime, because if I'm especially staying in a
Speaker 1: hotel right now, I look at that bed and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: that ship looks just phenomenal right now. So I've been
Speaker 1: making my bed. That's something that I've been doing and
Speaker 1: uh and and it's always good to get back on
Speaker 1: track to stuff, especially for me. I'm very much so
Speaker 1: a systems person and uh and so having my bed
Speaker 1: made and clean reminds me that that's also how I am.
Speaker 1: I am well made, I'm clean, and I'm ready for whatever.
Speaker 1: That's what I've been doing. Max, you got something for me.
Speaker 1: You'd get along with my wife really well. She she
Speaker 1: I lost a bed to her and I had to
Speaker 1: make the bed all week the way that she likes
Speaker 1: to do it, which is very military style, touch the
Speaker 1: front into the into the full house like full housekeeper.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's like two pillows on the top. That
Speaker 1: wasn't right, she would she would got She got upset
Speaker 1: with me because I put the two pillows behind the
Speaker 1: blanket instead of over the blanket. So but I felt
Speaker 1: I did feel accomplished. That's a good one. I tried
Speaker 1: to do a no phone day with the family on
Speaker 1: the weekends, like a Saturday, and I did it on Saturday,
Speaker 1: and we took a trip. We brought our baby at
Speaker 1: the beach for the first time, and she like felt
Speaker 1: the way, Oh my god, cute. And I think I
Speaker 1: realized how And it's funny with this episode, I realized
Speaker 1: how attached I am. I always do when I do this,
Speaker 1: because I just I actually give the phone to Emily
Speaker 1: and she hides it somewhere in the house so I
Speaker 1: have no idea where it is, and then we leave
Speaker 1: and it was the drive back because we're listening to
Speaker 1: music stuff. It was the drive back where her friend
Speaker 1: was in the front and she was on her phone
Speaker 1: and I and I felt it. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I wish I had my phone right now. I would
Speaker 1: be able to put when you don't have it, you
Speaker 1: both realize you know how you use it. But also
Speaker 1: I definitely feel more present. I was looking out at
Speaker 1: the you know, driving on the pc H and I'm
Speaker 1: looking at the waves when I probably would have been
Speaker 1: on my phone, and it definitely puts things perspective. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: There you go that we're we're we're already here. We're
Speaker 1: talking about the topic. Elizabeth, what have you been doing
Speaker 1: this week to improve yourself? I love that example. I
Speaker 1: both of your examples. I've been reflecting a lot on
Speaker 1: getting better at relaxing and both the physical sense of
Speaker 1: not needing to be busy and productive all the time,
Speaker 1: but also in the spiritual sense of just letting go
Speaker 1: of control and trusting that things will work out the
Speaker 1: way that they're supposed to. And both of those aspects
Speaker 1: are very difficult for me. Yeah, I can get behind it. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm glad that we're talking about it then today, because
Speaker 1: we're literally gonna figure out how to fix it, or
Speaker 1: at least take the right steps in the right direction.
Speaker 1: So Max, you and I were going to go one
Speaker 1: on one first. Elizabeth, you can take a break and
Speaker 1: we'll be with you in Justice sec. So again, Max,
Speaker 1: because we're about to get into and I want you
Speaker 1: to be able to be free to talk about how
Speaker 1: bad of a phone addict you are, because I'm going
Speaker 1: to talk about it myself. I want to start by
Speaker 1: talking about how really truly, like incredible of a person
Speaker 1: Max is. Max met my dad I was I couldn't
Speaker 1: have been more than twelve or thirteen years old. And
Speaker 1: my dad, if you don't, you've heard him on the podcast.
Speaker 1: If you haven't, go check out that episode. My dad
Speaker 1: is talkative and we'll always talk to anybody, especially if
Speaker 1: he sees especially if he sees a musical instrument of
Speaker 1: any kind. But my dad sat next to Max on
Speaker 1: an airplane and Max had had a kalle in like
Speaker 1: he was traveling with one, and um, I don't remember
Speaker 1: the converse. You probably remember the conversation better. But that's
Speaker 1: what exactly what makes me just it reminds me all
Speaker 1: the time of how just a good of a person
Speaker 1: Max is. Uh. He had this conversation was when I
Speaker 1: was I was probably like twelve, and I remember my
Speaker 1: dad was like, I met this guy and he's on
Speaker 1: a he's on a TV show and he's awesome and
Speaker 1: you should be like him and Dada da da, And
Speaker 1: I was just like, all right, cool. I met Max
Speaker 1: then for the first time. I don't remember. I just
Speaker 1: remember your meeting your dad. I don't remember where we
Speaker 1: met for the first time. Though I was twenty, I
Speaker 1: was like twenty years old. This was eight years later
Speaker 1: and I met I met Max, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I think my dad sat with you on an airplane
Speaker 1: and no, Lie he goes was his name? Martin, like
Speaker 1: full blown remembers my dad. And it was a conversation
Speaker 1: on an airplane. I've had so many conversations on an airplane.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't tell you. I couldn't even tell you.
Speaker 1: I couldn't point him out in the crowd if it
Speaker 1: was if that happened, Like no, you could not convince
Speaker 1: me that I had met somebody on an airplane, and
Speaker 1: I just it was. It's still to this day so
Speaker 1: special to me that that that is um. Also, if
Speaker 1: you talk to anybody in the industry who has been
Speaker 1: able to work with Max or Meat Max or No
Speaker 1: Max or even c Max in concert, you will never
Speaker 1: hear a bad thing about him. You're just like, I'm
Speaker 1: just so happy that we got you here because you're
Speaker 1: the epitome of good people do win in the end
Speaker 1: like good people. If you're a good person, you know,
Speaker 1: the character matters, you know what I mean. So I again,
Speaker 1: I'm going to absolutely just light you up like the
Speaker 1: star that you are on this podcast. Just man, thank you.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, baby, thank you for that being said,
Speaker 1: not being said. Pick your poison, what's your What's what's
Speaker 1: the social app that you're just addicted to? I mean,
Speaker 1: it's all of them, for sure, but but I'd say
Speaker 1: the one that's most toxic to me is Twitter. I'd
Speaker 1: say Instagram. I get the most addicted to. I get
Speaker 1: lost in it the most. I'll scroll through the most.
Speaker 1: And then I tried, man, I tried to. When I'm
Speaker 1: I haven't taken the deep dive to TikTok, I feel
Speaker 1: like I am in the TikTok game. But when I
Speaker 1: take the deep dive, it's almost as bad as Instagram.
Speaker 1: But for some reason, I don't let myself go there.
Speaker 1: But with Instagram, it's so comfortable that you know, It's
Speaker 1: like I go to get a midnight snack and I
Speaker 1: happen to have my phone, and that's the one I'm
Speaker 1: turning to to just screw and then you can last
Speaker 1: that one. Twitter, to me is hard to I think
Speaker 1: Twitter is actually the hardest on my mental health because
Speaker 1: it's so um. The people who are good at it
Speaker 1: are fantastic at it and get insane likes and and
Speaker 1: it's like one of those things where I feel, like
Speaker 1: with Instagram, I know, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: if I if I decided to do like some thirst
Speaker 1: trappy like shirtless this, then like it's gonna be like
Speaker 1: you kind of know how to get likes right like
Speaker 1: on Instagram and on Twitter it's different, like you don't know.
Speaker 1: Like you could tweet. I could tweet like peanut butter
Speaker 1: sandwich and it could get forty thousand likes. And I
Speaker 1: could tweet the funniest joke of all time and it
Speaker 1: gets ten likes. And it's just like I think the
Speaker 1: as a person, like I mentioned somebody of systems, like,
Speaker 1: there's no system to Twitter. It's just as so random.
Speaker 1: And that's why I love using it as a fan
Speaker 1: of it, because you find the just the stupidest, craziest,
Speaker 1: most absurd humor. But also you're like, how do you feel,
Speaker 1: how do you crack the code? You know, it's raw
Speaker 1: stand Twitter is the is the most and you are
Speaker 1: and you're so heavily in the k pop and uh
Speaker 1: and like the pop world and those fans those like
Speaker 1: stands are full blown like military force of just power.
Speaker 1: I love Twitter because of the freedom of information. I
Speaker 1: would say it's but the downside to that is that
Speaker 1: there isn't a lot of checks and balances that I
Speaker 1: mean besides the obvious where they like kick Trump off
Speaker 1: Twitter and all that, but as just a society of it,
Speaker 1: things can spread so quickly, which is kind of beautiful
Speaker 1: because a lot of these social media is the you know,
Speaker 1: they really they go into the algorithm and then you
Speaker 1: actually don't like to see what you actually signed up for.
Speaker 1: You know. It's like someone like my wife asked me yesterday,
Speaker 1: do my photos even come up on your feet anymore?
Speaker 1: And it's so bizarre because she's my wife, But I
Speaker 1: mean I see her all the time, so I'm not
Speaker 1: constantly searching here, so it doesn't put her stuff on
Speaker 1: my feet. But with Twitter, at least, I know it
Speaker 1: really it's like what SoundCloud was for music in the beginning,
Speaker 1: where people you really could just spread each other's stuff
Speaker 1: in a really beautiful way, and it wasn't really algorithmic based,
Speaker 1: but I feel like it also again, things can be
Speaker 1: fake and it gets spread so quickly, and it's just
Speaker 1: that's it really does have a double edged sort effect.
Speaker 1: It all does. Though. Yeah, I think you already you've
Speaker 1: already talked about it, um with the One of my
Speaker 1: questions was like, do you have any things that set
Speaker 1: like that help you set limits on using your phone
Speaker 1: or being You already answered that with your with your
Speaker 1: previous answer, But what got you there? What made you?
Speaker 1: What was the moment that you go, you know, was
Speaker 1: it having your daughter, was it you know, being with
Speaker 1: did you have a moment where you're like, wow, I'm
Speaker 1: really just locked into this or this isn't well, this
Speaker 1: isn't good for me. It just affected me too much.
Speaker 1: And then I was realizing that these are tools. They're
Speaker 1: not our life, and I think there's a fine balance
Speaker 1: and and it's our we for what we do. It's
Speaker 1: really important to utilize these tools to put our work
Speaker 1: out there, and oftentimes it it's you know, it makes
Speaker 1: the work even bigger if it's used in the right way.
Speaker 1: So it's hard not to be obsessed with it when
Speaker 1: you know it has the power to spread what you've
Speaker 1: been working months or years on and you can't just discount.
Speaker 1: And Emily always says this to me too, It's like
Speaker 1: it is a part of our job in a way now,
Speaker 1: And I think that for me, I realized though that
Speaker 1: I was spending too much time like looking at what
Speaker 1: everybody said, too much time in the comments, too much
Speaker 1: time really diving in and then you know, it's the classic.
Speaker 1: I would see something bad and I'd keep looking for
Speaker 1: more bad just because you see the good and you
Speaker 1: you scroll through that, you don't put as much weight
Speaker 1: into it. Once you get the bad. Oh, it just
Speaker 1: deeper and deeper in your gun. And I think especially
Speaker 1: and You're the same way. There's a there's an empathetic
Speaker 1: feeling to it where you don't just see these as
Speaker 1: fake accounts. You see these as people on the other
Speaker 1: side of the screen saying this. And so when you
Speaker 1: think of it that way, and you think they'd have
Speaker 1: the you know, the audacity to say. But the thing
Speaker 1: that really made me realize that recently, through a few
Speaker 1: different journeys was I realized that we put ourselves in
Speaker 1: this position. What we do is we say we have
Speaker 1: you know, a movie or an album or songs, and
Speaker 1: we put them out there and you just really it's
Speaker 1: the acceptance of people are gonna hate it or they're
Speaker 1: gonna love it. It really has to you have to
Speaker 1: be okay with the polarization because if you just do
Speaker 1: what you think people are gonna like, you're you're just
Speaker 1: gonna stay in the middle. And it's it's hard because
Speaker 1: you do take it personally because it's so deeply personal
Speaker 1: and it always will be and you're totally And the
Speaker 1: thing that's crazy too, is is it it's all about
Speaker 1: self confidence right like when you start listening. I remember
Speaker 1: when I was I think I was like eighteen, and
Speaker 1: I had and I had just booked, I just uh
Speaker 1: released the first season of Royal Crush or the second season,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't fit, Like I wasn't as fit as
Speaker 1: I am now. I wasn't like as like about fitness,
Speaker 1: and I was like a little you know, like a
Speaker 1: little frumpy dad body like asked. And I remember the
Speaker 1: episode where I was shirtless. All of the comments and
Speaker 1: and it's like you said, like good comments are are?
Speaker 1: I wish that I cared about good comments as much
Speaker 1: as I care about bad comments, like I'll scroll through
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't care if you liked it.
Speaker 1: I don't care if you like not not if you're
Speaker 1: listening to this, I don't actually feel like that. But
Speaker 1: when you're not in the right headspace, you're just searching, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but who's where's the where's the criticism? And I remember
Speaker 1: screenshotting a comment that was like Alex would be the
Speaker 1: biggest star in the world if he wasn't so fat.
Speaker 1: And I remember that comment to this day, and I
Speaker 1: screenshot at it and I made it my wallpaper. I
Speaker 1: cared so much because, like you said, there's a person
Speaker 1: when it's when you think about it, like, that's a
Speaker 1: person and my job is to make people happy, and
Speaker 1: that person is not happy that I'm this, and you
Speaker 1: kind of you really turn yourself. And I think another
Speaker 1: thing that it really does is it it turns an album,
Speaker 1: right like for instance, your album Absolutely Beautiful. I still
Speaker 1: listen to Acid like literally, it's my it's my first,
Speaker 1: my warm up song for everything that when you're creating
Speaker 1: a piece of art and you have that in your mind,
Speaker 1: no matter what it is, it's an album. It's this
Speaker 1: it's that you're already pre preparing for what comments are
Speaker 1: gonna come. Well, okay, well it has to be this
Speaker 1: because I don't want people to say that I'm not this,
Speaker 1: and it has to be that. It really changes subconsciously,
Speaker 1: it changes your full like self confidence. For me, it's
Speaker 1: my weight, you know, it has always been my weight,
Speaker 1: and I've done We've had episodes talking about binge eating.
Speaker 1: It's always been my weight, and I'm so happy that
Speaker 1: I finally found a place where I work out for me,
Speaker 1: and I don't work out because I don't want people
Speaker 1: to comment about it. For me, it's it's it's all
Speaker 1: about my weight, and it was always about my skin
Speaker 1: until I until I luckily ended up clearing it up.
Speaker 1: Is there anything specific for you that you're like, I
Speaker 1: that it's really social media is really messed up. It's
Speaker 1: not you know what's interesting. It's not a specific physical
Speaker 1: trade or anything like that. I think it's just, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just this striving for my best, I guess, and
Speaker 1: I guess this is truly recently, the acceptance of people
Speaker 1: just not liking even your best, your personal best, because
Speaker 1: it's just they're just not to it, you know, and
Speaker 1: that's hard when you know that you're striving for that,
Speaker 1: when you're trying to put what you feel is the
Speaker 1: best you can offer out, and then the realization that
Speaker 1: it's just some people just don't like that thing, like
Speaker 1: some people just hate raps, some people just hate countries something,
Speaker 1: and even if it's the best damn country music you
Speaker 1: will ever hear, Like Dolly Parton is my is my idol.
Speaker 1: And if someone says, I remember I told a really
Speaker 1: good friend of mine, I was like, oh yeah, man,
Speaker 1: Dolly wrote me this letter. It was the craziest thing
Speaker 1: in my life. I have to make a song with
Speaker 1: her whatever. And she was like, Dolly, pardon what. And
Speaker 1: the thought that I could worship this person and another
Speaker 1: person could hate them is mind blowing. But then when
Speaker 1: you're in our position, it just I think it makes
Speaker 1: it less harsh because then you just realize, man, I mean,
Speaker 1: but imagine if she tried to convince, if Dolly Parton
Speaker 1: tried to convince that person who didn't like her, you
Speaker 1: should like me. It's like that wouldn't be something she do.
Speaker 1: She just brushes it off, baby, and you just the
Speaker 1: more we can brush it off, whatever it may be,
Speaker 1: but that septance and that self confidence, like you're saying,
Speaker 1: finding that the more that you have that armor for
Speaker 1: what we do, you just keep building that big gas
Speaker 1: you know, coat and suit of arms exactly the better
Speaker 1: it feels when it does it just it just starts
Speaker 1: to just ping off of you. If you know that,
Speaker 1: you know you couldn't have given it any better than
Speaker 1: than what you gave. That's why I'm so glad that
Speaker 1: you're on this episode, because I think you have such
Speaker 1: a good grasp on what is real, Like you're kind
Speaker 1: of not necessarily on the other side of it now,
Speaker 1: but you're experiencing it in real time, and you're also
Speaker 1: having you're experiencing it with the knowledge of hey, this
Speaker 1: is this you're very it's a very grounded sense. Um.
Speaker 1: And I think because it's such a grounded sense, you
Speaker 1: are so good at it. Like it's like it's everything
Speaker 1: you post feels like authentic, right, everything from the curated
Speaker 1: whole page of yellow to you know, to the photo
Speaker 1: shoots and everything thematically is just m It's just clean
Speaker 1: and precise. I think a lot of people see that.
Speaker 1: And and again as anybody with the following, they'll see
Speaker 1: that and they'll think that it's the that it takes
Speaker 1: the same amount of effort as somebody who's just posting
Speaker 1: a picture, you know, they're at the beach and they
Speaker 1: snap a quick flick. But because a lot of people
Speaker 1: then try and compare how they post to how we
Speaker 1: post or how somebody who's who puts in hours and
Speaker 1: hours to edit pictures and and and set up photo
Speaker 1: shoots and and drive, you know, at sunrise to the
Speaker 1: certain locations so that they can get this amazing shot.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people compare how they post
Speaker 1: and making sure that they look good and doing all
Speaker 1: of this, I think it started spiraling downwards. And so
Speaker 1: I think a big piece of of helping change that
Speaker 1: narrative is getting real about how we get things done.
Speaker 1: You know, Like I remember a Wonderland photo shoot last
Speaker 1: year that I did and I look like I looked awesome,
Speaker 1: my six pack and my hair was perfect afro, and
Speaker 1: it was like amazing, and people are like, wow, like,
Speaker 1: you look so effortless in this I remember that sortain effortless.
Speaker 1: You look effortless in this picture, And I was just like,
Speaker 1: are you do you know what it took to get
Speaker 1: to that? Like I was eating is eating kale and
Speaker 1: dreams for breakfast, and then I would have like egg
Speaker 1: white like and I was just working out and I
Speaker 1: worked out for that one photo shoot, and then after
Speaker 1: that photoshop was done, I had a huge in and
Speaker 1: out burger and I did this whole nine and all
Speaker 1: of that. So can you help elaborate on how much
Speaker 1: effort really goes into something, because you are, I really
Speaker 1: feel like, just one of the top pages to follow
Speaker 1: when it comes to having that cohesive thing. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're talking glam squad. We're talking hair and makeup, and
Speaker 1: we're talking a backdrop, and we're talking props and all
Speaker 1: of this stuff. What what do you feel like people
Speaker 1: don't really fully understand that goes on behind the scenes
Speaker 1: to create something that people compare their everyday life to.
Speaker 1: One of my newest favorite things is it's a both.
Speaker 1: It's like for the album cover, for example, I think
Speaker 1: people thought the Rubi's Cube was photoshopped, but we built
Speaker 1: this giant, life sized Ruby's Cube, And you know, I've
Speaker 1: took photos on and stuff, and I think it's the
Speaker 1: combination of that for what we do that's fun. It's
Speaker 1: like showing we actually built that. So it is a
Speaker 1: little it's hard to do, but also it's physically you
Speaker 1: can you know, it's not like we're aliens. We're humans
Speaker 1: and somebody became a workshop person and they built that
Speaker 1: because that's what they do. And I think, if anything,
Speaker 1: it's just you know, be obsessive with with what you do,
Speaker 1: what you love in your vision. And then on the
Speaker 1: other side, I've realized I really like the whole disposable
Speaker 1: thing now, like a lot of if it's not that
Speaker 1: it's the opposite, it's like something I can't edit it all,
Speaker 1: or just disposable shots from studio whatever, so that it
Speaker 1: I have no way. For one, it's just there. It's
Speaker 1: not like I could, you know, I could edit the
Speaker 1: photo or anything else. And hopefully that rawness is something
Speaker 1: that comes across. But also I feel like why I've
Speaker 1: loved it recently is too because the rawness of those
Speaker 1: photos always just feels like a moment in time, and
Speaker 1: I feel like we lose that with Instagram and all
Speaker 1: these things, like we're always we're using it, like you're saying,
Speaker 1: there's people of the beach or whatever else, and and
Speaker 1: we're like we're doing something for Instagram rather than doing
Speaker 1: something and sharing it with the world. That's that I
Speaker 1: feel like, that's and I'm I'm I'm I'm with it. Man,
Speaker 1: I've did that. I've just recently and this is hugely
Speaker 1: because of Emily, because I have a baby, and you
Speaker 1: just realize that time is such a different construct when
Speaker 1: this little human is going to change so quickly. Um,
Speaker 1: it's not that you can't use these things. I know
Speaker 1: this is kind of a tangent of what you were asking,
Speaker 1: but I just I think it's one of those things where, yes,
Speaker 1: it's like a gymnast goes in and you see them
Speaker 1: do you know, triple spins and it looks effortless like
Speaker 1: you were saying. But um, but in the end, it
Speaker 1: takes so much time and work to do that. But
Speaker 1: also that's their thing. And I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: when you're creating these visual worlds for music or you know,
Speaker 1: for videos, like what we're doing, and it is very
Speaker 1: clean to Christine, that's what we do though, that's the
Speaker 1: time we're doing and you don't have to don't replicate that,
Speaker 1: do you. I love there's this TikTok account and she's
Speaker 1: just a beekeeper and she just shows that she's the best.
Speaker 1: It's the and you know what, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: because it is raw. And you know she I'm sure
Speaker 1: she takes photos of the beach too, but sure clearly
Speaker 1: her thing is she's obsessed with these bees. She goes places,
Speaker 1: she makes these videos. So finding your thing that is,
Speaker 1: so you're obsessed with that's uniquely you. That doesn't feel
Speaker 1: like work because you're working so hard at it, but
Speaker 1: you're not drained by it. That's that's what we should
Speaker 1: be using these tools to spread and share because we
Speaker 1: all have that thing, whatever it is to us. I
Speaker 1: feel like at the end of the day, it just
Speaker 1: comes down to being authentic. You know. It's authenticity, it's
Speaker 1: being yourself and you again are I think it's like
Speaker 1: you're such you're like I think because I'm lucky enough
Speaker 1: to know you, I see and I'm like, dude, that's him.
Speaker 1: Like people, if if you want to, you don't have
Speaker 1: to ask, well, what's Max? Like like literally look at
Speaker 1: his posts like that's who Max is, you know. And
Speaker 1: that's something that I think we should all strive to do, Like,
Speaker 1: we should all be authentic. And I think up on
Speaker 1: social media, everybody was just their authentic selves. We can
Speaker 1: still post you know, your your beach pick where you
Speaker 1: worked really hard and you have an a six pack
Speaker 1: and you're feeling great and you're confident, but authenticity is
Speaker 1: like so huge. I have a lot of other friends
Speaker 1: and not to call them out or and I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say any names, but I have friends who I'm like,
Speaker 1: why are you posting that? Like you're not that's not you, Like,
Speaker 1: that's not you're talking about you know, life is great,
Speaker 1: life is this, And then you're calling me crying like
Speaker 1: or or the opposite, like somebody just bought a new
Speaker 1: Lamborghini and is like life is good, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: life's not. The life's not good, Like we're in the
Speaker 1: middle of a pandemic that probably wasn't a financially smart
Speaker 1: idea to do. Like sometimes I get upset or I
Speaker 1: have to, like I find myself having to like mute people,
Speaker 1: like if you had to have you had to mute
Speaker 1: anybody like because you're just like either there you don't
Speaker 1: feel like they're being their most authentic self, or what
Speaker 1: they're posting isn't relatable because it's not it's not off,
Speaker 1: it's not a real thing that people go through. I've
Speaker 1: had to do that, and honestly, I'm gonna I'm I'm
Speaker 1: gonna admit it. I've had to do it to friends,
Speaker 1: like I've had to do it to like really good
Speaker 1: friends of mine, you know, because it that authenticity is huge,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, No, totally, Man, I
Speaker 1: feel like it's it's always tough when you know the
Speaker 1: person so well and you feel like, if anything, sometimes
Speaker 1: it just feels like it's they're they're just reaching out
Speaker 1: for help. And I even see with haters, you know,
Speaker 1: I've I've really tried to recently realize that hating anybody
Speaker 1: who criticizes all the time or hates all the time,
Speaker 1: they're just looking for someone else to connect with who
Speaker 1: also feels that way. It's just another tool to utilize
Speaker 1: to say, I just you know, did you hate the
Speaker 1: weekend super Bowl performance? Like this is why I hate
Speaker 1: it's like and which is, by the way, the most
Speaker 1: polarizing performance you could do those my gosh, because I
Speaker 1: thought he was fantastic and I thought he did a
Speaker 1: great job. And I know what you invest in people
Speaker 1: like how do what it takes and what it takes
Speaker 1: you see those thousand people on the field who you
Speaker 1: think is paying for that? Who did there? So's the
Speaker 1: COVID test all this stuff. It's like people wonder, but
Speaker 1: point being, I think, you know, but he also put
Speaker 1: himself on that stage, and therefore that stage can be criticized.
Speaker 1: And as long as he keeps doing his thing no
Speaker 1: matter what people are saying, amen to him. And I
Speaker 1: feel like exactly, but those kinds of people I try
Speaker 1: to cut out more and more in my life. Like
Speaker 1: you're saying, maybe muter when I just see that it's
Speaker 1: constant criticism and hate. It's not even to make better,
Speaker 1: it's it's almost like that's their identity is too criticize
Speaker 1: or hate. And to the point where I just feel like,
Speaker 1: where what do you love? Then like, okay, find goodly,
Speaker 1: I see what you hate, but whereas you know, it's
Speaker 1: like there's this dude, um Anthony Fantano. He's a music critic,
Speaker 1: and personally I'm into because I just feel like he
Speaker 1: really does give love word where he feels it's due,
Speaker 1: and maybe he gives criticism where he feels it's due.
Speaker 1: But I do appreciate that it is both. It isn't
Speaker 1: just a guy who just like this album sucks. This
Speaker 1: album sucks, he goes, this album is a masterpiece. And
Speaker 1: here's why I feel it so at least with those
Speaker 1: like if those are the kinds of people I don't
Speaker 1: want in my life as much, who just feel like
Speaker 1: they're draining you more than they're giving you energy, right,
Speaker 1: and that that's not worth it. It's not about being
Speaker 1: positive all the time, because that, I think is also
Speaker 1: a huge, a huge problem. It's about being authentic. I think,
Speaker 1: just authentic, you know, and and again I can't you're
Speaker 1: not iterated enough. It's just awesome seeing your face. Man.
Speaker 1: And by the way, forgot to say, great bowler, a
Speaker 1: great bowlder. Um, when life is when life is back
Speaker 1: to normal and bowling isn't the weirdest germyst thing in
Speaker 1: the world, We'll we'll have to have I have to
Speaker 1: come to a bowling night. Um. But you really are
Speaker 1: You're you are the same, Max, whether we're in like,
Speaker 1: whether I've seen you at a at a a large
Speaker 1: group of people, whether I'm sitting in your dressing room,
Speaker 1: whether we're in the d m s, whether you're posting
Speaker 1: on social media, whatever, it is like, you are always
Speaker 1: the same, and your fans I feel like, get to
Speaker 1: see that and sleep peacefully knowing that you're not like
Speaker 1: one of those. By the way, these people are real
Speaker 1: secret like awesome, positive celebrities who like behind closed doors
Speaker 1: is being a psychopath like and treating everybody like garbage. Right,
Speaker 1: So the people that follow you online who love your posts,
Speaker 1: who are super happy, um, but might be missing what
Speaker 1: your biggest message that you want is. I would love
Speaker 1: to hear what is what is the biggest message that
Speaker 1: Max on social media and in life would love for
Speaker 1: his followers to to feel and understand. Honestly, I just
Speaker 1: want them to find what I was saying their obsession,
Speaker 1: because I think we all have that thing that we
Speaker 1: feel guilty that we enjoy doing so much whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Like my wife, for example, she is so great at
Speaker 1: shopping and that sounds funny, but as a style she
Speaker 1: does the video Emily style is immaculate, so good she does.
Speaker 1: She's dressing our baby like a little queen. And I
Speaker 1: think for a long time, and I mean, she can't
Speaker 1: spend all the money that we have left. You know,
Speaker 1: baby's got to go to college. But I do there
Speaker 1: was a second where you know, I was telling her
Speaker 1: like I hate shopping, which sounds crazy too, but don't
Speaker 1: put me in a store for hours, don't do any
Speaker 1: of these things. And she really she loves it. She'll
Speaker 1: spend hours looking for the best outfits and it doesn't
Speaker 1: drain her. It's she's into that and I see the joy.
Speaker 1: But I sometimes see the guilt in her face, thinking that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, that's not that's not a job, or she's
Speaker 1: not doing a great job doing it, but that is it.
Speaker 1: And I only hope that because people are their happiest
Speaker 1: when they do find that obsession that they're into and
Speaker 1: they realize that they shouldn't feel guilty for it because
Speaker 1: someone like me hate shopping, which sounds crazy, But if
Speaker 1: you love it, you're meant to do it. If you
Speaker 1: love being a trainer, if you love being a doctor.
Speaker 1: I want the doctor who's obsessed with being a doctor
Speaker 1: to my doctor, the person who live our baby. That
Speaker 1: woman walked in her name she whatever else said, and
Speaker 1: her name is Dr Bliss, best name, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And this woman, this woman shows up every day and
Speaker 1: she loves bringing babies into the world. That's who you want.
Speaker 1: So all I can hope is that those people out there,
Speaker 1: hopefully see how obsessed I am with what I get
Speaker 1: to do, to the point where I have to put
Speaker 1: my phone away because I'm just looking up more music.
Speaker 1: And I hope they find that because everybody deserves to
Speaker 1: have that in their life. Well, my guy, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: use the line that you you gave me and uh
Speaker 1: and when I got my nice little merge pack, you
Speaker 1: have the voice of an angel and the heart of
Speaker 1: one to my friend. We're gonna take a quick break
Speaker 1: when we come back. Elizabeth and I are going a deep,
Speaker 1: deep dive into what's going on behind the screens. Don't
Speaker 1: go anywhere, all right, We are back and I am
Speaker 1: here with this is I still can't I still love
Speaker 1: this title. A perfectionism expert, and we're going to figure
Speaker 1: out what that means. Elizabeth. Sue is here with us. Elizabeth,
Speaker 1: how are you today? I'm so good. I can't wait.
Speaker 1: This is a topic near and dear to my heart,
Speaker 1: so I can't get into it. I know you're an
Speaker 1: expert in all of this, but we do have to
Speaker 1: start the same way I started with Max. What's your poison?
Speaker 1: What is it that gets you hooked? Oh? Go on,
Speaker 1: you know, I think it's a toss up between the
Speaker 1: constant checking, like it's I'm like making dinner, I'm like
Speaker 1: in line, I'm waiting for a friend and I just
Speaker 1: can't stop checking. Um, and that that feeling of like
Speaker 1: what did I miss? I hate that feeling because it's
Speaker 1: I literally didn't miss my husband's like what do you
Speaker 1: think changed between the three seconds that you just checked?
Speaker 1: And it makes me feel crazy. And then my other big,
Speaker 1: big thing that just destroys my mental health is comparing
Speaker 1: myself to others. It is it's running a business and
Speaker 1: as a writer trying to get published, it's just constant.
Speaker 1: She's doing it better. They have a bigger following, they
Speaker 1: have better connections, Like I am a worthless piece of
Speaker 1: crap like it it gets dark so quickly. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just take an awesome segue because you describe yourself
Speaker 1: as a self love evangelist. You just said that. That
Speaker 1: being said, does social media teach us anything positive about
Speaker 1: self love? Or is it all negative? That's a great question. Um.
Speaker 1: I think in your conversation with Max, like, I really
Speaker 1: loved it. That actually brought me me a lot of
Speaker 1: joy because it did bring me back to the good
Speaker 1: things about it. And I am also, you know, on
Speaker 1: this journey of building a community and building an audience,
Speaker 1: and for so long it did feel very frustrating and
Speaker 1: it felt very toxic, like it was it was hard
Speaker 1: for me to separate that business strategy from my self
Speaker 1: love journey of trying not to tie my worth to
Speaker 1: people's approvals of me and likes and comments and followers
Speaker 1: is exactly people's approval of you. So it's really it's
Speaker 1: been very confronting. But I think you're right in what
Speaker 1: social media does do is it brings people together from
Speaker 1: around the world in a very cool way. And I've
Speaker 1: seen that happen, and I think for me, because I
Speaker 1: can't ditch it, I don't think any of us can,
Speaker 1: especially where we are right now in the pandemic, And
Speaker 1: so it's trying to figure out how to make it
Speaker 1: work for you and take take the good. And I
Speaker 1: think for me, it's showing up as as you were,
Speaker 1: saying as authentically as I can, and putting myself out
Speaker 1: there and hoping that hoping that that is enough and
Speaker 1: if it isn't, at least I can go to bed
Speaker 1: feeling like I was an integrity and I was continuing
Speaker 1: to put one foot forward on trying to feel good
Speaker 1: about myself. Absolutely. I mean that's but that's why I
Speaker 1: love your Your title is amazing self love evangelists. Like
Speaker 1: an evangelist like you're. You're not claiming that you are,
Speaker 1: that you have all the answers. You're not like a
Speaker 1: professor of self love like you are an evangel like
Speaker 1: you're you're also going through it. You're just trying to
Speaker 1: help others get there too, you know. And so I
Speaker 1: think it is important for us to to find the
Speaker 1: things that social media can teach us about self love.
Speaker 1: That's why I love like you'll have those I love
Speaker 1: seeing my favorite things to see on on Instagram or
Speaker 1: weight loss journeys, like people who are like I lost
Speaker 1: a hundred pounds this year, and you go in those
Speaker 1: comments and it's so like, yes, you got this, and
Speaker 1: you see it. And I think a lot of people,
Speaker 1: especially me, like I see those and it does inspire
Speaker 1: me to go, you know what, I want to do
Speaker 1: that because because I see how happy they look, and
Speaker 1: I see all of these things and it gives you.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times for me especially,
Speaker 1: I feel like fitness is a way of me giving
Speaker 1: myself self love because I'm giving my body what it
Speaker 1: needs and I'm taking care of myself and you see
Speaker 1: things like that, and there are definitely moments, you know,
Speaker 1: it's those glimmers of light that are just so helpful,
Speaker 1: you know, or I wish there was, like I don't
Speaker 1: know if there's like a social media app that only
Speaker 1: is that stuff, but I feel like we spend it's
Speaker 1: and it actually studies show that we spend like three
Speaker 1: times more energy and more free time on apps that
Speaker 1: are draining, like social media can be. Then the ones
Speaker 1: that actually enrich our lives, like a meditation app or
Speaker 1: a or an app that that what's that app that
Speaker 1: I use that? Like you you start a clock and
Speaker 1: it grows a tree, and if you use your app,
Speaker 1: then the tree, if you use your phone then the
Speaker 1: tree dies. Things like that like we use we spend
Speaker 1: three times more of our free time there, right, And
Speaker 1: Max and I were just talking about how we search
Speaker 1: for the bad comments. We're trying to like we're almost
Speaker 1: like going for it. Why do you feel like we
Speaker 1: can't stop using social media even when it makes us
Speaker 1: feel bad. Sometimes even because it makes us feel bad. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: it's it's very intentional the forest app. Thank you, Catherine,
Speaker 1: the forest app. That's what it's called. I got myself
Speaker 1: a little forest, right, and I love I love that. No,
Speaker 1: I think I think that's where that's kind of where
Speaker 1: we have to begin, and we have to give ourselves
Speaker 1: and each other grace and compassion for the fact that
Speaker 1: that is literally what social media is designed to do,
Speaker 1: is to pick at your insecurities and scarcity and all
Speaker 1: these things that get us hooked and get us addicted
Speaker 1: and want because it psychologically that's what it was built around.
Speaker 1: And the likes and the comments and that follows all
Speaker 1: of that hits our pleasure centers in our brain, so
Speaker 1: of course we would want more of that. And so
Speaker 1: I think that's a really important thing to keep in
Speaker 1: mind when you're feeling it's I always think about this,
Speaker 1: it's like there's nothing worse and feeling bad about feeling bad.
Speaker 1: So when you're like starting to like hate on yourself
Speaker 1: for not being able to get your social media addiction
Speaker 1: under control or disconnect, like we it's kind of at
Speaker 1: this point we all know what we should do. We
Speaker 1: all know, you know, we live happier or more peaceful
Speaker 1: lives if we meditated, and we drink a lot of water,
Speaker 1: and we exercised, and we didn't spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time on our phones, but spend time in nature. Like
Speaker 1: we all know that, and yet we are in this
Speaker 1: digital age where for so many of us it is
Speaker 1: a part of our business. It's how we make money.
Speaker 1: And until you know, capitalism dies, it's kind of going
Speaker 1: to have to be something that we think about. And
Speaker 1: so I I think it is important to just keep
Speaker 1: that in mind when you start to feel insecure about that,
Speaker 1: to have compassion for just what is actually at play.
Speaker 1: How do you think we discern between I'm being enriched
Speaker 1: right now because I think criticism, you know, like Max said,
Speaker 1: he has his favorite like critics who and I and
Speaker 1: I we just dropped finding a Han and there's critics
Speaker 1: and I love reading the critics like who actually have
Speaker 1: things that I think are constructive. But how do we
Speaker 1: tell how how can the listener at home, who's like, well,
Speaker 1: sometimes I look at Instagram and I feel really good,
Speaker 1: but sometimes I feel bad. But sometimes I feel bad
Speaker 1: but it's good, And sometimes I feel good but it's bad.
Speaker 1: How do we discern whether we're being enriched or drained
Speaker 1: by Instagram or another platform that is the life. That's
Speaker 1: what we're all trying to It's like, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to practice every day in relationship, you know,
Speaker 1: all the business opportunities, everything is is that discernment. And
Speaker 1: what I love about what you just shared about all
Speaker 1: the different versions of emotions around social media is to
Speaker 1: be aware that it can be different. And actually, I
Speaker 1: think comes back to your own heart and your own
Speaker 1: body and where you are at, because we tend to
Speaker 1: think so much outside ourselves, like what is this thing
Speaker 1: doing to us? And how do we then change our behavior?
Speaker 1: But I think we can flip it and take stock
Speaker 1: and how we are feeling in any given moment and
Speaker 1: kind of take that lead. And so I know, for me,
Speaker 1: if I'm feeling very raw and vulnerable and I go
Speaker 1: on social media, it's almost like my egos going to
Speaker 1: latch onto things that are going to fuel that fire
Speaker 1: of worthlessness, of feeling unworthy. And so I try to
Speaker 1: you know, I don't get it right every time because
Speaker 1: I am indeed and perfect, um, I you know, try
Speaker 1: to check in with myself how am I feeling today
Speaker 1: and have that intention going into whatever it is that
Speaker 1: I'm doing usually for for business, and and then kind
Speaker 1: of step out, step out of that and to see
Speaker 1: how that is making me feel. But I think when
Speaker 1: you have that constant scroll, in, that constant checking, you
Speaker 1: can go so quickly from like oh, like this is
Speaker 1: a tool, or this is I just did this like
Speaker 1: really fun. I g live right, um, listen to this
Speaker 1: cool podcast and sharing that with your community too, like oops,
Speaker 1: I just got triggered by this like person over here
Speaker 1: doing this thing that upset me over here. So it
Speaker 1: can fluctuates so quickly. Absolutely, I totally agree with you,
Speaker 1: Like it's it's so easy to jump, like the switch over.
Speaker 1: I could be watching one I could be looking at
Speaker 1: one post and feel incredible, and it's like it's kind
Speaker 1: of like um a slot machine, you know, like you
Speaker 1: you might you swipe one time and you're like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, like I love that sad video to that
Speaker 1: sad song about like the Sun who pays off his
Speaker 1: parents debt, and you're just like love awesome. And then
Speaker 1: next post you're seeing like a riot and you're just like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, like there's nothing there, right, And and so
Speaker 1: outside of that um and getting more into the your
Speaker 1: your personal experience, and I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: are dealing with this. And you're obviously a perfectionalism expert,
Speaker 1: and you've also talked about your drive for perfection and
Speaker 1: how you had to overcome that, and I relate with
Speaker 1: that so much. I remember, even to this day, like
Speaker 1: I have a tiny gap in my two front teeth
Speaker 1: because I didn't wear my retainers enough. And now I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's the only thing I think about. Or I'll get
Speaker 1: one pimple on my forehead and I think I look
Speaker 1: like the dude from Goonies, the hey you guys. I
Speaker 1: think Instagram, specifically, all social media's that include visual stimulation
Speaker 1: trigger that need for a perfection and and it's really
Speaker 1: a problem for me, and it's a problem for a
Speaker 1: lot of people. So, as an expert, as we're closing
Speaker 1: out this segment, what's your advice for the for the
Speaker 1: watcher out there who, even if they're not I, strive
Speaker 1: for a perfection outside of social media. So it even
Speaker 1: doubles down on social media. But even if you don't
Speaker 1: strive perfection, you watch social media and you feel bad
Speaker 1: about yourself because you're not this or you're not that,
Speaker 1: And then you you try and do the fat diets
Speaker 1: because you didn't look like that model, and then you
Speaker 1: get like, you get drained, So then you're feeling sad
Speaker 1: and you're looking and it's just it can be such
Speaker 1: a downward spiral. What is your advice? Because you obviously
Speaker 1: this is this is your study. You know, people can
Speaker 1: feel burnt out, they can feel completely useless, they can
Speaker 1: feel purposeless, they can feel lost, and and it can
Speaker 1: all be triggered from one post. It can all be
Speaker 1: triggered from one thing. You know, what's your advice? Ah,
Speaker 1: I know I have, I've been there, and even someone
Speaker 1: who studies this all the time, I well, it's I
Speaker 1: study it because I struggle with it. And I think
Speaker 1: something to think about two is, you know, if if
Speaker 1: you're on this self love journey and trying to embrace
Speaker 1: your imperfections, like you're not going to be able to
Speaker 1: do that perfectly. You know, I'm I'm in the self
Speaker 1: help world a lot and the personal growth world, and
Speaker 1: I think there is this idea that you're either you know,
Speaker 1: someone who's really struggling or you know, putting all this
Speaker 1: like negative and you're using social media um to kind
Speaker 1: of drag down the world or you're over here, like
Speaker 1: being overly positive and overly like here here are the
Speaker 1: five steps to achieving like a peaceful life for happiness
Speaker 1: or whatever. And even though those things are helpful and useful,
Speaker 1: I think there's a middle ground that is reality and
Speaker 1: that is more authentic and that does show okay here,
Speaker 1: like this is a like cool piece that I just
Speaker 1: wrote that I can't wait to share with y'all um
Speaker 1: alongside you know, a picture of me crying where it
Speaker 1: was like, today was a terrible day. I've I've had
Speaker 1: posts like that where it's like I actually have no
Speaker 1: advice for you right now other than like some days
Speaker 1: suck and that's okay. And then there's another, you know,
Speaker 1: a picture of me dancing that's like, you know, I
Speaker 1: like I got some fun news and like I'm going
Speaker 1: to celebrate, Like here's for celebration, and so it's it's
Speaker 1: I think that being able, that that is part of
Speaker 1: the vulnerability of social media is I think as long
Speaker 1: as we're able to be okay with who we are,
Speaker 1: and that that is what the studies show is the
Speaker 1: number one way to combat perfectionism is to cultivate unconditional
Speaker 1: self acceptance because kind of to backup, perfectionism really is
Speaker 1: that feeling what psychologists call you have a contingent sense
Speaker 1: of self worth. So this idea that I am only
Speaker 1: worthy of love and acceptance and approval if I achieve something,
Speaker 1: and it's killer because we live in a society that
Speaker 1: keeps beating us those messages. And with what I found
Speaker 1: astonishing in my research was in the last thirty years,
Speaker 1: perfectionism has increased thirty three percent, and that is mostly
Speaker 1: due to societal expectations. So there are actually three components
Speaker 1: of perfectionism. One is self oriented perfectionism, which is kind
Speaker 1: of being hard on ourselves. The other is other oriented perfectionism,
Speaker 1: which is people being hard on other people. So if
Speaker 1: you if I judge myself very harshly, I'm going to
Speaker 1: judge other people harshly, even if, like in my heart,
Speaker 1: I'm a good person, Like that just is what happens.
Speaker 1: And then the third is socially prescribed, so it's you
Speaker 1: can look at it in terms of um, academic institutions, workplaces, Hollywood,
Speaker 1: you know, all these avenues that tell us we need
Speaker 1: to be perfect in order to succeed. So we have
Speaker 1: kind of this coming at all angles. And social media
Speaker 1: really is that perfect storm where it's coming together. You're
Speaker 1: putting content out, you're seeing other people's content, and then
Speaker 1: you have this like how your standard to try to
Speaker 1: meet which is impossible, absolutely absolutely, and you said it.
Speaker 1: Social media literally is all of that and it's everywhere
Speaker 1: and it's so easy, and I'm so glad that you would.
Speaker 1: Thank you for giving all of this information. We're gonna
Speaker 1: take a break and when we come back, we're gonna
Speaker 1: figure out how we fix it, what we can do
Speaker 1: to actually make a change about all of this madness. Uh,
Speaker 1: do not go anywhere, Elizabeth, to thank you so much
Speaker 1: for coming on. Alright, it is time we are here.
Speaker 1: Everybody's where, we're all chilling, and we're talking about how
Speaker 1: we fix all of this. Right, we're taught. We we've
Speaker 1: been talking about the problems. We've talked, talked about what's
Speaker 1: going on behind the scenes. How do we fix this stuff?
Speaker 1: I feel like it's kind of easy, but not easy,
Speaker 1: And it's just I think it's just about how much
Speaker 1: time and energy we give into it. Right, So, um,
Speaker 1: obviously it's easier said than done. We use our phones,
Speaker 1: especially if you are working from home, or you are
Speaker 1: out and about, You're using your phones more than anything,
Speaker 1: and opening your social media apps is just as easy
Speaker 1: as opening you know, your other apps. So what do
Speaker 1: you guys think is something that we can do to minimize? Um,
Speaker 1: If we can't minimize the amount that we use our
Speaker 1: phone based off of our job or based off of
Speaker 1: you know, the fact that that's just who we are
Speaker 1: as humans right now, what can we do to minimize
Speaker 1: the impact that social media has on our minds? How
Speaker 1: that the impact that has on our emotions and the
Speaker 1: impact that has on our self worth go for a queen?
Speaker 1: I have so many thoughts. Um, one is is what
Speaker 1: Max was saying before, and it seems so simple, But
Speaker 1: taking breaks, that's like textbook. All the studies show that
Speaker 1: that's the way to you distance ourselves from from internalizing
Speaker 1: those messages and from perpetuating that problem. And I think
Speaker 1: it's important. It's going to be different for everyone. Um,
Speaker 1: it's going to be very individual. But I think you
Speaker 1: need to take a hard look of at your own
Speaker 1: patterns and what you know about yourself. So for me,
Speaker 1: I know that I have a very addictive personality and
Speaker 1: so things are very all or nothing for me. So
Speaker 1: moderation is actually very difficult. I've had like thirty different
Speaker 1: interventions with myself on how much when I use social media,
Speaker 1: at what hours, for how long? And for me, I've
Speaker 1: decided that because it's such an all or nothing game, Sundays,
Speaker 1: I take off and my team knows that, my husband
Speaker 1: knows that, like everyone knows that, and so I think
Speaker 1: being upfront with your needs and I similarly, I hide
Speaker 1: my phone, and my husband hasn't much more healthy or
Speaker 1: relationship with his phone and social media, and so we
Speaker 1: kind of joke that he's my personal assistant, Like if
Speaker 1: you need to get in touch with me, you reach
Speaker 1: out to him. And to me, it's like it's it
Speaker 1: is a sick addiction that I absolutely will admit that
Speaker 1: I struggle with. Mm hmmm, mm hmm. Yeah, I couldn't
Speaker 1: agree more. I feel like the brakes are so necessary
Speaker 1: with anything in our lives, truly. I mean, it gives
Speaker 1: you perspective. It makes you feel like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: who I am. When I'm obsessed with my phone all
Speaker 1: the time, or I'm missing out on these moments because
Speaker 1: I'm looking at Instagram even when my baby is right
Speaker 1: next to me. Those kinds of moments are important for
Speaker 1: us to internalize and then I feel like, yeah, it
Speaker 1: just gives you more of your You're in the moment
Speaker 1: of this time in your life. But it also really
Speaker 1: just connect and that you know, as much as we
Speaker 1: talk about the negatives of it, I think realize what
Speaker 1: actually brings you the most joy from using it? Why
Speaker 1: do we actually care about these things? Every time we
Speaker 1: think about that, why do we care? And it's for
Speaker 1: me It's like I can't believe that I connect with,
Speaker 1: you know, somebody in Korea via Instagram and then we
Speaker 1: create something together. That's something that is such an incredible
Speaker 1: use of the tool of these social media So I
Speaker 1: feel like when we pinpoint what brings us the most
Speaker 1: joy and subtracts, I don't need to go through the comments.
Speaker 1: What am I doing? Right? Why do I Why am
Speaker 1: I spending hours going through these comments? How much joy
Speaker 1: is that actually bringing me with any of these places?
Speaker 1: I feel like the more we do that, the better
Speaker 1: relationship will have with these apps that we are obsessed with. Well,
Speaker 1: that's actually where I was going to go with this,
Speaker 1: is like I don't think the answer is to delete
Speaker 1: social media, Like I like, that's not because there are
Speaker 1: so many amazing things. I got to feel like I
Speaker 1: was a part of your birthing of your first child.
Speaker 1: Because and I and I haven't seen you in over years,
Speaker 1: like over a year. I got to feel like I
Speaker 1: was a part of your process. And I feel like
Speaker 1: we still get to have podcasts and we still get
Speaker 1: to connect with each other. I met my girlfriend on
Speaker 1: social media, Like, there is a lot that you get
Speaker 1: to do. There's so many amazing things about social media.
Speaker 1: What to you, uh, both of you guys, would be
Speaker 1: something that I just kind of just spilled out everything
Speaker 1: that I love about social media. But for you guys,
Speaker 1: it could be something different. Is there anything specific about
Speaker 1: social media you had mentioned Max about connecting with fans
Speaker 1: on the other side of the world and building a
Speaker 1: fan base. You used to have to tour everywhere to
Speaker 1: build a fan if you want to if you want
Speaker 1: fans in Korea, you'd have to go to Korea and
Speaker 1: either open up for somebody or do a tour or
Speaker 1: sing on the street or promote your record there. And
Speaker 1: now it's a lot different. How do you feel, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's that exactly though. It's and even more so in
Speaker 1: my specific position there's so many artists that I'm connected
Speaker 1: with around the world. Like a great example is this
Speaker 1: really cool artist's name is Keshy. He's the bomb if
Speaker 1: you don't know his music, amazing musician and uh literally
Speaker 1: we dammed on Instagram and then we both got you know,
Speaker 1: covid tested for a few days and then he came
Speaker 1: over to my studio and we made some music together.
Speaker 1: And that was solely because Instagram connected us and we
Speaker 1: saw mutual people that we worked with and stuff. But
Speaker 1: that was the means of how we not only it
Speaker 1: from point A to point B. That was it was
Speaker 1: like a text message or anything else, but something public
Speaker 1: that we could utilize. So I feel like there really
Speaker 1: are some magical moments brought to you by Instagram, were
Speaker 1: brought to you by Twitter, and and we can't discount those.
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely. I mean I think about the like our relationship,
Speaker 1: you're my relationship has been strengthened more on social media
Speaker 1: than it is everywhere else. I've met so many amazing
Speaker 1: artists in Australia. Cody. I met Cody on social media
Speaker 1: and yeah, I've connected with I've connected with Cody from that.
Speaker 1: Cody plays saxophone, plays everything with Max. Literally that dude,
Speaker 1: It's it's insane. Cody dot Deer on Instagram makes I
Speaker 1: met him on Instagram to great examples, he did a
Speaker 1: cover he did a cover of one of my other group,
Speaker 1: this group called Party People, as he liked just ripped
Speaker 1: sacks over something. And he posts these videos and he's
Speaker 1: been playing. He's toured around the world with us for
Speaker 1: the last two years because we saw a video of
Speaker 1: him ripping saxophone over our cover of Miss Jackson. So
Speaker 1: as artists, it's so it's been. There are so many
Speaker 1: useful things. That's why I wanted to preface this whole
Speaker 1: episode with I'm not antisocial media. There's just sometimes where
Speaker 1: it's really bad for me. But I do think it's
Speaker 1: important that we do point out there are amazing things,
Speaker 1: because I think throughout this episode, if you don't appreciate it,
Speaker 1: then you can kind of fall into a like, well whatever,
Speaker 1: let's just delete it. Um. Outside of the artist world, Elizabeth,
Speaker 1: is what for you specifically social media really done in
Speaker 1: a positive way in your life? Yeah? You know what
Speaker 1: surprising is it's actually helped my own creative expression and
Speaker 1: my own trying to show up in the world is
Speaker 1: my whole self. That's kind of one of my intentions
Speaker 1: because I come from Silicon Valley, Like I had that
Speaker 1: whole life for a while, and that was one version
Speaker 1: of me. And then I showed up in my business
Speaker 1: as this very like authentic but still very buttoned up.
Speaker 1: It was like professional authentic. I still had that part
Speaker 1: of me that was, you know, painting my nails like
Speaker 1: light paint, you know. And then I went through this
Speaker 1: whole phase of like everything was black and I was
Speaker 1: like in this rebellious phase. And now it's kind of
Speaker 1: coming into my own and I see that it reflected
Speaker 1: in my feed. And I remember there was one day
Speaker 1: at the end of last year and I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: this just feels too serious. Like yes, I talked about
Speaker 1: a lot of serious topics and we go deep and
Speaker 1: I love the heart to hearts and at the same time,
Speaker 1: I was like that that also isn't all of me.
Speaker 1: I Actually I love dancing. I love nineties boy band
Speaker 1: so I started these uh Instagram live dance parties, which
Speaker 1: was like so silly and weird, and but also that
Speaker 1: is as much me as talking about my history with
Speaker 1: an eating disorder or anxiety. That's probably one of the
Speaker 1: things that I've most gotten from Instagram is the ability
Speaker 1: to just like play with who I am and to
Speaker 1: and to give myself permission to evolve as my writing
Speaker 1: evolves and my content evolves, in my personal growth evolves. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: So I have one I have one last question for
Speaker 1: each of you, um, and I'll start with you, Elizabeth.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of responsibility obviously falls on ourselves
Speaker 1: and how we view and how we how much time
Speaker 1: we consume, and how much that we invest ourselves into
Speaker 1: other things. But I think a lot of weight also
Speaker 1: should be given to these social media platforms. And I
Speaker 1: think some platforms have done a really really great job
Speaker 1: at at you know, you have your TikTok um they
Speaker 1: started implementing those like if you're scrolling for a certain
Speaker 1: amount of time, like a TikTok will pop up and
Speaker 1: it's that guy that everybody knows from Vine and he's like, hey,
Speaker 1: you've been on TikTok for quite a while now, Like,
Speaker 1: why don't we take a break. I've had that, So
Speaker 1: if I've got to hit that every night this week honestly,
Speaker 1: because I've been a TikTok feed this week. But there's
Speaker 1: some things, or even Instagram when they wanted to start
Speaker 1: implementing not showing how many likes you get and not
Speaker 1: showing comments or um, you know, different ways. But I
Speaker 1: also think that there's a lot of things, especially in
Speaker 1: the visuals, is really kind of where I am. We
Speaker 1: have all of these phil turns on tickto and And
Speaker 1: this is not to call any social media out again.
Speaker 1: We just talked about how much we love social media.
Speaker 1: But like TikTok has a mode that's called beauty mode,
Speaker 1: and I think that there shouldn't be Like, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: I think they should remove it. I don't think that
Speaker 1: you should have a button that a kid presses that
Speaker 1: makes them now pretty because whatever was before was not beauty,
Speaker 1: but now it's beauty mode. Or same with the face,
Speaker 1: it's like you can change your face to look as
Speaker 1: the way that you wanted to and all of these things. Elizabeth,
Speaker 1: how do you feel, especially somebody who studies perfectionism, um,
Speaker 1: how do you feel social media apps and those platforms
Speaker 1: can can make even more change, especially in the visuals,
Speaker 1: uh and and the and the societal standard that that
Speaker 1: a lot of kids in today's world are are gonna
Speaker 1: be dealing with if things don't change absolutely. And I
Speaker 1: love the example of filter because I've been thinking about
Speaker 1: that myself, because I also sometimes most of the time
Speaker 1: use filters, and oh I use filters, by the way,
Speaker 1: that is not me being like you shouldn't use filters.
Speaker 1: I use filters. I'm gonna be I'm absolutely the kettle.
Speaker 1: I'm the kettle and the pot at this point, like
Speaker 1: I am both um and it's all about to me.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's more so, how do we all stop?
Speaker 1: Because I use beauty Mode and I look at beauty
Speaker 1: Mode and I go, I just wish I looked like that,
Speaker 1: you know, But but it's not fair to say that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And what's interesting is I noticed all the filters that
Speaker 1: I use on Instagram are of like beautiful white women,
Speaker 1: and I'm mixed. I'm half Chinese, and I have had
Speaker 1: this whole, very dark reckoning of my racial identity. And
Speaker 1: it has occurred to me, like just the other day,
Speaker 1: I was like, gosh, you know, what is that message?
Speaker 1: What am I sending to my subconscious every time I
Speaker 1: use this filter to be this like blond, like blond,
Speaker 1: blue eyed person um? And so I think we can
Speaker 1: go kind of even deeper there in terms of not
Speaker 1: just what the filters are telling us about beauty, but
Speaker 1: also like, what are these filters telling us about race
Speaker 1: and our our ability to love ourselves just the way
Speaker 1: we are? And I think that's something that is very
Speaker 1: important to me as someone who studies perfectionism, because the
Speaker 1: number one combatant to perfectionism and learning to really love
Speaker 1: yourself is that unconditional self acceptance and self compassion. And
Speaker 1: so when you're constantly trying to morph yourself into what
Speaker 1: you think is better or what the world truly does
Speaker 1: perceive as more beautiful, because that that is the the
Speaker 1: zeit geys, that's that is what we have told everyone,
Speaker 1: then it just continues to perpetuate that problem. So I
Speaker 1: think you're onto something with with the filters, um And
Speaker 1: I mean, the other thing that just really gets me
Speaker 1: is that kind infinite scroll of those visuals, and it's
Speaker 1: it just it's this never never ending feeling of things
Speaker 1: could be more, things could be better, or I could
Speaker 1: look like this, or I could oh, she's achieving that,
Speaker 1: and that it manifests in the endless scroll and it
Speaker 1: seems like, gosh, that's just like a silly feature over here,
Speaker 1: but I think inside of our minds, it kind of
Speaker 1: it never allows that loop to close. And so even
Speaker 1: after we put away our device, it's still going. It's
Speaker 1: still like oh yeah, and this and that and that,
Speaker 1: and it's then, of course we're never going to feel
Speaker 1: enough because we are flooded with these images that are different. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I opened I opened up, I opened up
Speaker 1: my fridge multiple times, and the same stuff is in
Speaker 1: the fridge. I open on my fridge five times in
Speaker 1: an hour, and it's going to be the same thing.
Speaker 1: So imagine if my fridge had a new thing every
Speaker 1: time I opened it up, I'd be a pening it
Speaker 1: up every minute, you know. And that's to me what
Speaker 1: social media is. As you guys can tell, I'm very hungry,
Speaker 1: um Max, now for your question. You're kind of doing
Speaker 1: double duty. You and m are doing double duty at
Speaker 1: this point because not only are you living it and
Speaker 1: you are, for lack of better term, feeding the machine
Speaker 1: by being a part of this, especially in a in
Speaker 1: a huge way, you're also having to be a parent.
Speaker 1: I remember watching a Ted talk where um Steve Jobs
Speaker 1: was interviewed about the new iPad and said, you know,
Speaker 1: do your children like the new iPad and he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: they don't use they don't use the like they're not
Speaker 1: like And I feel like most of the most of
Speaker 1: the tech monsters, especially in Silicon Valley, they don't let
Speaker 1: their kids do it because they see the ugly in it.
Speaker 1: They see what's going on and being a parent right now,
Speaker 1: Like my sister has a has a almost two year old,
Speaker 1: and in my mind, I'm like that, I don't know
Speaker 1: what what do you do? You know? And how do
Speaker 1: you even think about the next ten years as your daughter,
Speaker 1: as as Eadie Selene just grows up and has to
Speaker 1: deal with this? Are you planning? Do you have do
Speaker 1: you have any idea of what you're gonna do? I
Speaker 1: feel like it's just all I keep talking with Emily
Speaker 1: about is it. It's if anything, it is more of
Speaker 1: a self reflecting moment because I feel like it's just
Speaker 1: leading by example. I don't I don't want to if
Speaker 1: I got to use my phone and or I do
Speaker 1: all these things, I don't want to. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be a hypocrite to her. I feel like the
Speaker 1: only way I'm gonna be able to do it is
Speaker 1: tell her, you know, if if I'm on my phone
Speaker 1: too much, then I feel like she's gonna soak that in.
Speaker 1: So I hope that we can just be you really
Speaker 1: want to be the best example. But by doing that,
Speaker 1: it's a responsibility to say, well, then I really do
Speaker 1: have to hide my phone or when I don't really
Speaker 1: need to use it, or tell her I'm on my
Speaker 1: phone because this this this manager texted me about this song.
Speaker 1: I'm not ignoring you. It's like the communication is interesting
Speaker 1: Emily as a really intense psychology of it, because she
Speaker 1: was a nanny for seven years and she baby sat
Speaker 1: and was the nanny for so many other people's kids,
Speaker 1: and I think that made her feel like, oh man,
Speaker 1: I don't want It's the same thing. She's like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to ever have a nanny. I was a
Speaker 1: nanny for seven years, just like how these you know,
Speaker 1: silicon value people feel. But but I do. I feel
Speaker 1: like anything that we tell I tell my my baby
Speaker 1: she can't do, it's just gonna be the opposite effect exactly,
Speaker 1: And why why why are you doing it? Exactly? Why
Speaker 1: can you watch TV or all these things? So I
Speaker 1: feel like I the only thing I'm gonna know how
Speaker 1: to do is be able to say, you're right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stop watching TV and go outside and play with
Speaker 1: you because I don't. I don't want to limit your
Speaker 1: experience with the world. And I think that's the other
Speaker 1: thing for parents. You've already experienced it and you want
Speaker 1: to be better for your kids. But you know, I'm
Speaker 1: super new to this game. But all I can think
Speaker 1: is like, but she hasn't experienced anything I've experienced. She doesn't.
Speaker 1: She needs to, She needs to explore the world so
Speaker 1: that she knows what she likes and she doesn't like
Speaker 1: the Hopefully we can instill some values in her to
Speaker 1: to make those choices for herself. I just want to
Speaker 1: keep trying to do that, but it is tough. I
Speaker 1: have a little baby cousin who's now nine, and she's
Speaker 1: I had obsessed. Well, that's the thing. It's not only
Speaker 1: how you treat your children. But then she's going to
Speaker 1: go out into the war world where there's other kids
Speaker 1: who aren't being regular, like, they're not being regulator, they're
Speaker 1: not being led by example, and then she's going to
Speaker 1: see pick up on that. Oh, she gets to bring
Speaker 1: her iPad to school, so during lunch, instead of running
Speaker 1: around and playing tags, she gets to play, you know,
Speaker 1: Clash of Clans or I don't know whatever the kids
Speaker 1: are playing these days. But it's like it's just it's everywhere,
Speaker 1: you know, and and right now, the negativity is everywhere.
Speaker 1: And I think that's the biggest thing is how do we,
Speaker 1: as not only adults and not only as you know,
Speaker 1: people who are are very fortunate to have a following
Speaker 1: on social media, how do we change the conversation not
Speaker 1: just for e Selen, not just for my Niemila, not
Speaker 1: just for that, but for the future of This is
Speaker 1: where reality is going to sit now. This is and
Speaker 1: social media is very gapped from reality at the moment,
Speaker 1: and I think how do we close that gap and
Speaker 1: get it as close as we can. I think it's
Speaker 1: always going to have a little bit of a filter
Speaker 1: on it, and that's not bad to have a little
Speaker 1: filter on it, because it's fun and and it is
Speaker 1: sometimes a good way to get out of the world
Speaker 1: that you're in at a moment and feel like you're
Speaker 1: in another place and and kind of how concerts are
Speaker 1: for some people, you know, sometimes social media can be
Speaker 1: that for me where I'm like, I'm having a really
Speaker 1: bad day, but if I look at a hundred memes.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be really, I'm gonna be in a lot
Speaker 1: better of a mood. You know. So how do we
Speaker 1: change that gap? Your title the titles you said. I
Speaker 1: think that's a big thing. It's that is that is
Speaker 1: messed up. There shouldn't be a beauty mode that you know,
Speaker 1: we shouldn't. I think you can't. Like again, you can't
Speaker 1: get rid of filters and all these things. But I
Speaker 1: do think how we title them is important. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: want Eaty to see a mode that tells her this
Speaker 1: is what beautiful is, says yeah, beauty and then it
Speaker 1: changes what ugly mode or whatever, you know, that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. That definitely that that feels like a choice
Speaker 1: for these apps, which are tools to make to say
Speaker 1: we shouldn't say this because to this especially tiny human,
Speaker 1: they're reading that and there. That's that's what the learning fels.
Speaker 1: You know. What one I like though, is the baby one.
Speaker 1: That one That filter is great because there's no it's
Speaker 1: not offensive to anybody. You're just example like, that's perfect.
Speaker 1: Let's okay, I'm gonna start a petition right now. We're
Speaker 1: gonna make baby mode the only filter allowed or old
Speaker 1: people remember the old people one. Yeah, wrinkles and gray hair,
Speaker 1: those two are totally fun. I think those ones are fun,
Speaker 1: and it's and other than that, we I think I
Speaker 1: could do without. But I think you're right. It's it's
Speaker 1: just how do we change the narrative? You know what
Speaker 1: is how what do we what do we change about it?
Speaker 1: Do we fix that? Fix beauty modes so that it's
Speaker 1: just set to like you know, lighting mode. The titles
Speaker 1: are definitely toxic. I think my biggest takeaways are that
Speaker 1: we allow social media so often to govern us when
Speaker 1: in reality, like you said in my favorite I think
Speaker 1: one of my favorite lines that you said today is
Speaker 1: that we it's a tool. It's not it's not our life,
Speaker 1: it's not our it's not our responsibility. It's not like
Speaker 1: our If if we deleted our social media tomorrow, then
Speaker 1: we're just going to continue going on about our lives.
Speaker 1: So if we think about it in that way and
Speaker 1: we take the weight out of it and understand this
Speaker 1: is the other thing is like understand that everybody is
Speaker 1: thinking what we're thinking, and everybody's we think everybody's going
Speaker 1: to judge us, but everybody else is worried that they're
Speaker 1: going to get judged as well, and it's just like
Speaker 1: how do we how do we alter that? And so
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this, I'm so glad that you
Speaker 1: got to listen to two amazing guests on this episode
Speaker 1: who have have an awesome grasp on things, and I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful for both of you guys coming on. Um,
Speaker 1: this is the wrap up segment. It's called Shameless Promo,
Speaker 1: and I just want you to talk about everything that's
Speaker 1: going on in your lives. Where people can find you
Speaker 1: on social media, where they can find your authenticity on
Speaker 1: on social media hosts and all of that. UM, go
Speaker 1: after Elizabeth, let's here, where can we find you? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you can find me on Instagram at Hail Elizabeth Sue.
Speaker 1: That's h e y Elizabeth Sue s U. You can
Speaker 1: also sign up for Monday Fives my newsletter which is
Speaker 1: super fun on my website Elizabeth Su dot com. And then,
Speaker 1: as you mentioned, my biggest project right now is my
Speaker 1: book and finding a good home for that. So if
Speaker 1: anyone knows of a literary agent or someone in the
Speaker 1: publishing world that would be interested, shoot me a message.
Speaker 1: I'd be grateful to connect. That was Oh my gosh, Max,
Speaker 1: you gotta follow that up. That was That might be
Speaker 1: the best shameless promo that like just it was just
Speaker 1: so clean, it was precise. Everybody knows where to find you.
Speaker 1: Everybody's excited. I'm excited. Do you have a title for
Speaker 1: the book yet? I have a tentative title flawed feeling
Speaker 1: worthy in a society that demands perfection. I love those
Speaker 1: books that have books that have a colon just are
Speaker 1: are automatically big best sellers for me, Like, I'm going
Speaker 1: after it, Max, Baby, talk to us. My shame was
Speaker 1: from Yeah, my album coverage is out, have a deluxe
Speaker 1: version with a bunch of goodies on it coming out,
Speaker 1: and I think it's early March. I got pushed poopy,
Speaker 1: but anyway, Yeah, you can check that out. And then
Speaker 1: yeah at Max Music and at Max where I got
Speaker 1: lucky like YouTube and stuff. Some some hockey player got
Speaker 1: it on Instagram. So at Max Music, go for it.
Speaker 1: Don't you hate it when your name just gets taken
Speaker 1: by somebody else has your name? Yeah? Man, come on,
Speaker 1: you're you're not. I'm going by this one. Very hard
Speaker 1: to google name. You go, you use your last name.
Speaker 1: I don't know my last literally as a hockey player.
Speaker 1: You literally use your last You have dates on your shirt.
Speaker 1: Your my name is on my shirt. Your last name
Speaker 1: is on your shirt. This is my max. I don't
Speaker 1: even know your last name. I forget it. But if
Speaker 1: you're listening, if you're a big fan Alex podcast, give
Speaker 1: me my damn name on Instagram. That's our second petition.
Speaker 1: We got two petitions going on one to get mad
Speaker 1: even name on Instagram. Give it to me, man, we
Speaker 1: want it. Um, I'm so I'm so happy. Yeah makes
Speaker 1: you guys listen to color visions. Color is great and
Speaker 1: if you're lucky enough, you'll get color visions hoodie. That's
Speaker 1: how you know you're a real one. Um. I still
Speaker 1: rock my color vision hoodie to this day. You guys
Speaker 1: know where you can find me at alex ion O
Speaker 1: A I O n oh. Best part about having a
Speaker 1: weird last name you don't have to compete with hockey players.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much. This is the end of
Speaker 1: let's get into it season one. If you want season two,
Speaker 1: make sure you tweet my heart let them know that
Speaker 1: this is what you want. This is how badly you
Speaker 1: want it. I love you guys. Make sure you rate
Speaker 1: our podcast makes you subscribe. That's how we continue to grow,
Speaker 1: and that's how he gets season two. But until then,
Speaker 1: I love you guys, peace. We really want you to
Speaker 1: get the help you need, so if you need help,
Speaker 1: please seek independent advice from a competent healthcare or mental
Speaker 1: health professional. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast
Speaker 1: are solely those of the podcast author or individuals participating
Speaker 1: in the podcast, and do not represent the opinions of
Speaker 1: I Heart Media or its employees. This podcast should not
Speaker 1: be used as medical advice, mental health advice, counseling, or therapy.
Speaker 1: Listening to the podcast does not established dr patient relationship
Speaker 1: with hosts or guests of alex IONO, Let's Get Into
Speaker 1: It or I Heart Media. No guarantee is given regarding
Speaker 1: the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on this podcast. Well,
Speaker 1: if that's a doozy