Speaker 1: Niggas is sick y'all dead ass, and the way I
Speaker 1: love so many black men in my life. I need
Speaker 1: y'all to be healthy. Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises.
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our
Speaker 1: boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,
Speaker 1: I'll make you need therby most days. Wow. And one
Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We
Speaker 1: created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's
Speaker 1: most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk
Speaker 1: about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead
Speaker 1: adds is the term that we say every day. So
Speaker 1: when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,
Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about
Speaker 1: to take pillows off to a whole new level. Dead
Speaker 1: ass starts right now. So this story time is not
Speaker 1: a funny story time. This is a very real story time.
Speaker 1: This has happened last year. Um, literally right before my birthday.
Speaker 1: My brother calls me on the phone randomly and goes,
Speaker 1: Yodeve was suck. I'm like, what's good? He says, Um,
Speaker 1: you'll call your pops. I'm like, Wow, what's the matter.
Speaker 1: He's like now, he don't look good, and you know
Speaker 1: he don't listen to nobody, but just just call him.
Speaker 1: So historically, my Pops is not like going to the doctor.
Speaker 1: He has no patience. He feels like he can heal
Speaker 1: himself with everything. He really believer in Jesus and what
Speaker 1: Jesus has in story for him and God and all
Speaker 1: of that. So my father feels like he has his
Speaker 1: life under control. Plus I also know that my father
Speaker 1: has fear of hospitals and doctors. So I called my pop.
Speaker 1: In two years prior to this, remember, my brother and
Speaker 1: I had to take him to the hospital all right
Speaker 1: before Thanksgiving because he was having chest pain. And I
Speaker 1: call my pops and my father. If y'all know my father,
Speaker 1: he's what a broke? How are you doing? You know?
Speaker 1: You know he's a very jolly man like he So
Speaker 1: when I get on the phone and I'm looking at him,
Speaker 1: his face was extremely drawn. My father is over three
Speaker 1: fifty pounds, so when you see a three fifty pound
Speaker 1: man with a drawn face, automatically something is like not right.
Speaker 1: Like he his face to look full. He looked dry,
Speaker 1: kind of grayish. I remember, like underneath his neck here
Speaker 1: was like hanging like real looking, real sick. So I'm like, hey, school,
Speaker 1: what's up. Bro? You know what I'm saying. I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to tip him off that my brother told me
Speaker 1: to call. So he's just like, I'm good, Bro, I'm good.
Speaker 1: And he's trying to smile because I know my pops
Speaker 1: trying to smile because I'm always on my parents about health,
Speaker 1: not just my father, but my mother too. Like I'm like, y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all owe us to be here, Like y'all, y'all owe us,
Speaker 1: you owe your grandkids to be here. So I look
Speaker 1: at my dad, I said, how you feel? And he's
Speaker 1: just like, oh, you know, I had a toothache. I
Speaker 1: was taking some medication, so my mouth is my my
Speaker 1: mouth is kind of drying. I kept using the bathroom
Speaker 1: and it's it's the medication, bro, it's the medication. So
Speaker 1: I stopped taking the medication. So I look at my pops.
Speaker 1: Already know he's in his Dina phase. So I said,
Speaker 1: can you give mommy the phone please? I don't even
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk no more. I already recognize
Speaker 1: what it is. So my mom is on the phone.
Speaker 1: And was was like, hey, the vale And I'm like, you
Speaker 1: know what that is. And she's just like, yeah, we're
Speaker 1: supposed to go to doctor on Wednesday. I said, monus
Speaker 1: the diabetes. I said, his mouth is dry, he's going
Speaker 1: to the bathroom every fifteen minutes. He looks drawn. That's
Speaker 1: that's like the sugar. That's the sugar. That's the sugar.
Speaker 1: And she was just like, we know, you know the
Speaker 1: valt you know she's trying to pass the fire me now.
Speaker 1: And we got it. I said, my take him to
Speaker 1: the hospital, take him to the doctor tomorrow, tomorrow, or
Speaker 1: I'm coming home and I'm taking him to the doctor
Speaker 1: because we're not gonna wait till Wednesday. At this point,
Speaker 1: it was Sunday, and she was just like val relaxed.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm not going to relax. Take him to
Speaker 1: the doctor tomorrow or I'm coming home. Fine, Fine, Fine,
Speaker 1: So she got my father to agree to go to
Speaker 1: the doctor. They go to the doctor in the next day,
Speaker 1: They check his level, they check everything. They tell my
Speaker 1: mom you need to admit your husband to the hospital.
Speaker 1: And she's like why, And I believe at that point
Speaker 1: his blood sugar level was like sev hundred it was.
Speaker 1: It was so bad that there was like, the machine
Speaker 1: won't go as high as your blood sugar is, and
Speaker 1: you have to go to the hospital so we can
Speaker 1: find out what your actual blood sugar is. But the
Speaker 1: fact that the machine won't calculate it means that you're
Speaker 1: a walking coma right now. His A one C was ridiculous.
Speaker 1: It was more than twice the level of a diabetes patient.
Speaker 1: I think for diabetes it's seven. It was seven or
Speaker 1: seven point five, and I think he was above fourteen
Speaker 1: at this point. And then when once he goes to
Speaker 1: doctor and they admit him, you know, he has all
Speaker 1: these questions and stuff, then all the truth comes out.
Speaker 1: My father says to me, yeah, I had my my
Speaker 1: sugar taken in October and they said it was it
Speaker 1: was it was seven point five then, so you was
Speaker 1: pre diabetic. But you were pre diabetic and still drinking
Speaker 1: soda and still eating cakes and still eating rice and
Speaker 1: still putting gravy on everything. So he goes to the doctor.
Speaker 1: The doctor tells my father that he's diabetic. Um, he
Speaker 1: has to be on insulin, but there are ways for
Speaker 1: him to kind of reduce um the symptoms of diabetes.
Speaker 1: If he changes his diet if he walks every day.
Speaker 1: Things that I've been telling him for years before we
Speaker 1: get to this point, Sokenina and I fly into New
Speaker 1: York because I'm I don't play when it comes to
Speaker 1: my parents, like I'm gonna come see you, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I have to physically touch you to know that you're okay.
Speaker 1: So I get there and this is the first time
Speaker 1: ever in my life. My father is upstairs in the room.
Speaker 1: He says he's feeling better. So it's just me and him,
Speaker 1: kick everybody out the room. I said, bro why, why
Speaker 1: when you go through health stuff you don't say anything
Speaker 1: to anybody? And he broke down, started crying to me
Speaker 1: and said he didn't want me to be mad at him,
Speaker 1: because he's been telling me for a decade, Like I've
Speaker 1: been telling him for a decade that he has to
Speaker 1: eat healthier or we're gonna get to this point. So
Speaker 1: he broke down and started crying and then started telling
Speaker 1: me all the things the doctor. But he said to
Speaker 1: me for the first time ever that he was scared.
Speaker 1: He looked up. He was not he was in on
Speaker 1: the gurney. He looked up and there was a mirror
Speaker 1: above him, and he said that he looked like my grandfather.
Speaker 1: And my grandfather passed away of c O p D
Speaker 1: in two thousand and eighteen two. He passed away from
Speaker 1: cp D. And I remember looking at my grandfather and
Speaker 1: remember we had to rush into the hospital one day
Speaker 1: and the E. M. S came and said, hey, do
Speaker 1: you have any pre existing conditions? And my grandfather said,
Speaker 1: if you name it, I at it. And my father
Speaker 1: said he looked up and he saw his father. His
Speaker 1: face was drawn, he looked old, and he got scared.
Speaker 1: When I was having surgery for hernia nine years old,
Speaker 1: my father told me song seven, The Lord is my life,
Speaker 1: my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the
Speaker 1: stronghold of my life? Of whom shall I be afraid?
Speaker 1: I have a tattooed on my arm. And I've never
Speaker 1: been afraid of things because my father taught me not
Speaker 1: to be afraid. To watch my father be afraid shook me.
Speaker 1: It shook me. This song that I'm gonna sing now
Speaker 1: is um dedicated to all of the black men, because
Speaker 1: talking about black men's health, who are making a decision
Speaker 1: to put their health first, and how powerful we can
Speaker 1: be as leaders of a community if we finally start
Speaker 1: putting ourselves for a thing about my dad is kind
Speaker 1: of getting me like, no, I know, your father be
Speaker 1: a superhero. You don't ever want to think about anything
Speaker 1: happened to your pops. But ah. The song is dedicated
Speaker 1: to all of the men who are are putting their
Speaker 1: health first to be there for their families, their coworkers. Uh.
Speaker 1: I know Triple hates when I clap, so I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try not to clap. Okay home home, Hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm living in the twenty one century. Doing something mean
Speaker 1: to it? Do it better than anybody you've ever seen
Speaker 1: do with screen from the haters. Got a nice ring
Speaker 1: to it. I guess every superhero needs this thing music.
Speaker 1: No one man all that power, the clocks ticking. I
Speaker 1: just count the hour was stopped tripping and tripping off
Speaker 1: the power one century something something something. But um, that's
Speaker 1: just what it means. You take your power into your
Speaker 1: hands when you decide that you're gonna put your health
Speaker 1: first so you can be here for the people that matters.
Speaker 1: Your wives, your mom's, your daughters, your your brothers, your sons,
Speaker 1: your business partners, and for yourself. You know, so no
Speaker 1: one man should have all that power. But I hope
Speaker 1: all of us get the power to finally sit down
Speaker 1: and say I want to be better so I can
Speaker 1: be here. That's a good place to break piece of
Speaker 1: bills and will come back the story of time and
Speaker 1: get into the meeting of our show with our special
Speaker 1: guest today. Oh man, that story time, It does it
Speaker 1: to me to all the time because I think about it.
Speaker 1: I've known your dad for almost twenty years now, and
Speaker 1: he's pretty much just like a second dad to me.
Speaker 1: So that was a scary time, I think for all
Speaker 1: of us um and if it did nothing more than anything,
Speaker 1: it just really made us value more so checking on
Speaker 1: each other, making sure each other is okay, not taking
Speaker 1: for granted, not feeling well in a moment, thinking we
Speaker 1: can sleep things off. How many times have we had
Speaker 1: this story where someone told us such as such didn't
Speaker 1: feel well, they just went to take a nap, They
Speaker 1: went to sleep this off and then they did not
Speaker 1: wake up. Are too many times. So today we wanted
Speaker 1: to bring in an expert, no one better than Dr
Speaker 1: Kelvin Brown, to chat with us more about particularly black
Speaker 1: men's health. The leading cause of death for black men
Speaker 1: is heart disease, which is a completely preventable condition. Black
Speaker 1: men's prostate cancer risk is seventy higher than white men,
Speaker 1: and black men between the ages of forty and fifty
Speaker 1: four die by stroke at a rate three times higher
Speaker 1: than their white counterparts. So just being a black man
Speaker 1: in general predisposes you to so much already, not just genetically,
Speaker 1: but environmentally socially. It's not just genetics. I feel like,
Speaker 1: like I said in my sound bite, there's so many
Speaker 1: black men who I just absolutely love to the core,
Speaker 1: and I need to make sure that they're going to
Speaker 1: be around for the long haul. And there's certain things
Speaker 1: that we can we're not in control of, but if
Speaker 1: we can take control of our health, I feel like
Speaker 1: we should start now right because we're trying to do
Speaker 1: this together. Um Systemic racism in medical care goes both ways,
Speaker 1: but with an added layer of pride of masculinity. Black
Speaker 1: men suffer far worse than any other racial group with
Speaker 1: this in America. So we're gonna talk today and then
Speaker 1: go through the facts with Dr Kelvin Brown. He's a surgeon, author,
Speaker 1: bariatric specialist, serial entrepreneur, which we also had shows on
Speaker 1: Entrepreneur to entrepreneurship too, and public health expert who prized
Speaker 1: himself on talking or taking a holistic approach to health.
Speaker 1: All right, Dr Calvin Brown, you got quite the resume.
Speaker 1: How are you doing well? Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: having me. I look forward to it, and this is
Speaker 1: something that's extremely important to us, especially considering you know
Speaker 1: what I just spoke about the story time my father
Speaker 1: about a year ago, was rushed to the hospital. Um,
Speaker 1: he found out at that point that he was diabetic.
Speaker 1: His A one C was through the roof. I think
Speaker 1: it was like seventeen. UM. His sugar was extremely high. Um,
Speaker 1: he was on the verge of of going into a coma,
Speaker 1: a sugar coma. And he found out because my mom
Speaker 1: pretty much called me and said, hey, you know, my
Speaker 1: brother called me and said, you know, your dad's not
Speaker 1: feeling good. You need to call him. And in our
Speaker 1: house growing up, my father hated doctors. So my father
Speaker 1: is the type of person that would be like, if
Speaker 1: I just sleep and drink some water, I'll be fine.
Speaker 1: And um, I called my I called my pops this day.
Speaker 1: He didn't sound good. I looked at him and his
Speaker 1: face was all drawn. I called my mom, I said, Mom,
Speaker 1: what''s going on? Like, what's going on? And she was
Speaker 1: telling me that he wasn't feeling well. Then they rushed
Speaker 1: into the hospital, UH, and they found out that he
Speaker 1: was pretty diabetic and he had got to get it
Speaker 1: under control or else he wouldn't have made it through week.
Speaker 1: So that is like a microcosm of what black men's
Speaker 1: health is. You know, no you, I mean you said
Speaker 1: a books worth in that one example, UH is started
Speaker 1: with codeine. What she said, we have the worst UH
Speaker 1: numbers when it comes to any group compared across racists
Speaker 1: and genders. So it's very relevant. But when you mentioned
Speaker 1: as far as not wanting to go to the doctor's men,
Speaker 1: that is so true. When I was actively doing surgery.
Speaker 1: One of the things I realized with regard to that
Speaker 1: if you find a guy in the emergency room at night,
Speaker 1: you better believe something wrong with guys. Guys will not
Speaker 1: go to the hospital. And that also touches on something
Speaker 1: else though UM research has shown that if a guy
Speaker 1: is married, UH, they live longer and they present so
Speaker 1: much sooner to the doctor because that significant other spouse
Speaker 1: UH in that pers life. So you touched on that,
Speaker 1: and then you touched on diabetes. Not only do we
Speaker 1: have the worst numbers and the worst life expectancy speaking
Speaker 1: about black men, we also have the worst statistics with
Speaker 1: individual conditions, including diabetes UM. And that goes for how
Speaker 1: blood pressure and all the other numbers. So in that
Speaker 1: one microcosm of an example, you said a mouthful mouthful
Speaker 1: that we could really speak on for let me let
Speaker 1: me ask a question when sorry, but when it comes
Speaker 1: to diabetes UM. Because Kadia and I have discussed this
Speaker 1: a lot, I feel like you can't like, diabetes isn't
Speaker 1: something that's so hereditary that it's like what my father had, it,
Speaker 1: I have, I'm gonna have it. I feel like it's
Speaker 1: something that you can work around if you eat, probably
Speaker 1: if you diet, and if you focus on living a
Speaker 1: fairly healthy lifestyle. In my correct it's something that's not
Speaker 1: necessarily genetic, but more so hereditary because of the lifestyle
Speaker 1: your fanis lives. No, you're absolutely right, and it's like
Speaker 1: the nature versus nurture And with all conditions, there's a
Speaker 1: small component of genetics that predisposes one to certain things,
Speaker 1: but it's the other things that a lot of people
Speaker 1: fail to realize, and it goes to goes towards the eating,
Speaker 1: it goes towards um rest and sleep, exercise. It also
Speaker 1: goes towards stress. And when we start talking about stress,
Speaker 1: we start talking about racism, discrimination, starts talking about the
Speaker 1: economy and financials and so forth. So as you start
Speaker 1: talking about socio determinants and sociodemographic contributors to the condition,
Speaker 1: a lot of people think that health and naively think
Speaker 1: that health is related to just eating and fitness. And
Speaker 1: I like to equate this to sort of a mixer.
Speaker 1: This just imagine Dr Dre at the superpow right, just
Speaker 1: with that big mixer with all the different keys and
Speaker 1: so forth. That's how our health is. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of components that we can adjust on a day to
Speaker 1: day basis, on a decision to decision basis that will
Speaker 1: affect our risk profile and if we ultimately develop certain
Speaker 1: conditions and so all that plays until factors for our social, financial, emotional, stress, nutrition,
Speaker 1: and the list goes on its own. So one of
Speaker 1: the things that we can do that's very that's very
Speaker 1: noteworthy here is sort of shine the light on those
Speaker 1: things that people overlook on a day to day basis
Speaker 1: that can impact one's help. So I guess if you
Speaker 1: were to deduce other than pride being one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why black men may not go to the doctor
Speaker 1: regularly or may feel a certain kind of way and
Speaker 1: not want to go UM, other than pride, have you
Speaker 1: desused any other reasons why men are not or black
Speaker 1: men specifically are not as proactive about their health care
Speaker 1: in general? Absolutely? UH. It sort of speaks to their
Speaker 1: UH lifestyle, their quality of life. It speaks to their
Speaker 1: education level, because the education level determines what jobs they get.
Speaker 1: If they get a job, it also impacts their UH
Speaker 1: proclivity or or possibility of committing crimes and getting incarcerated,
Speaker 1: which also infects that UM. It determines if you have
Speaker 1: health insurance. It determines the quality. It determines the quality
Speaker 1: of health insurance. And then once you get insurance, it
Speaker 1: also determines your availability to a certain provider. Now, once
Speaker 1: you do have access to all of those things, what
Speaker 1: type of provider do you have access to? And do
Speaker 1: you feel comfortable with that provider? And so it keeps
Speaker 1: going on and on and so it's a it's a
Speaker 1: cascading effect, and it's very comprehensive and a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Don't want to say a systemic, but it is based
Speaker 1: on where you live. It also determines on the school's education,
Speaker 1: the jobs, and who you surround yourself wealth with from
Speaker 1: a social standpoint UM, and so it talks about that
Speaker 1: UH as well as the resources that you have, not
Speaker 1: only physical resources, but human resources, people who will speak
Speaker 1: certain things until you So it's a big movement, especially
Speaker 1: in our community and our culture with regard to financial literacy,
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm so happy to see it across social media.
Speaker 1: But equally important, there's health literacy UH. And we need
Speaker 1: to do these two things hand in hand. And one
Speaker 1: of the things that I touched on, or that I
Speaker 1: really focused on maybe about twelve or fourteen years ago,
Speaker 1: was making sure that we don't achieve the success that
Speaker 1: perhaps I have, that you all have and so many
Speaker 1: others are getting through financial literacy, but we we then
Speaker 1: reach a point where we can become even more impactful
Speaker 1: for even longer periods of time. And one of the
Speaker 1: things that the pandemic UH really made absolutely clear, especially
Speaker 1: to me but hopefully to everyone else, is that we
Speaker 1: cannot do anything without good health. We cannot. For the
Speaker 1: first time ever, we saw that. We saw the entire
Speaker 1: world shut down. I don't care if you had millions
Speaker 1: or billions or big coins. We were all we hold
Speaker 1: in the backyard doing absolutely not absolutely doing nothing. So
Speaker 1: so without without good health, I mean, there is no
Speaker 1: financial there is nothing else. So we have to do
Speaker 1: both of these things, especially in our community and especially
Speaker 1: with black men, in parallel health literacy, financial literacy, as
Speaker 1: well as going across the entire uh mixer quote unquote
Speaker 1: the analogy and tackling the mental health, the emotional health,
Speaker 1: and so forth. Uh and go from there. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: want to I want to touch on something you you
Speaker 1: spoke about because Kadina and I actually went through this
Speaker 1: when I retired from the NFL um in two thousand
Speaker 1: and nine. We were in our mid twenties and one
Speaker 1: of the big issues we had at that time was
Speaker 1: health insurance because the NFL wasn't carrying our health and
Speaker 1: NFL drops you when they when they cut you, they
Speaker 1: don't carry you on health insurance anymore. And my wife
Speaker 1: at the time was working freelances and makeup artists, and
Speaker 1: she went on full time for the sole purpose of
Speaker 1: getting us health insurance. But at that moment, I realized
Speaker 1: there are a ton of Americans who are struggling, especially
Speaker 1: Black Americans who live at or below the poverty line,
Speaker 1: with getting proper health insurance. And can you talk a
Speaker 1: little bit to our viewers about how important it is
Speaker 1: to have health insurance because I have a lot of
Speaker 1: younger men that I mentor and they elect to be
Speaker 1: employees so they can make more money up front, and
Speaker 1: they'll sacrifice the health insurance because they think, oh, me
Speaker 1: in my twenties, I don't need health insurance until you do,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So can you talk a
Speaker 1: little bit about how important it is to get a
Speaker 1: proper health insurance. It's extremely important to get uh, the
Speaker 1: right health insurance. At the same time, health insurance as
Speaker 1: as an industry is so complex, so complicated. Uh, and
Speaker 1: that's one of the things that I'm trying to help
Speaker 1: out with the new company I formed. But to go
Speaker 1: back to the insurance before I answered that question specifically,
Speaker 1: two things. One, when I was in surgery residency at
Speaker 1: Emory during rotations at rady Um with trauma, UH, the
Speaker 1: emergency rooms were full of people I mean out in
Speaker 1: the hallways waiting for a room and so forth. It
Speaker 1: will surprise you a lot of those people. They worked
Speaker 1: at Georgia Power, they worked at Coca Cola, they had
Speaker 1: jobs and so forth. So I say all of that
Speaker 1: to say this is that even with insurance, if you
Speaker 1: don't know how to navigate the health care system and
Speaker 1: have the right advice, um, sometimes you'll have problems. The
Speaker 1: second thing is I have a mentor. When I was
Speaker 1: doing I got my master's in public health degree and
Speaker 1: one of my mentors she was a professor, and she
Speaker 1: was a medical director doctor as well. Matter of fact,
Speaker 1: her entire family are medical doctors. I mean the entire family.
Speaker 1: And this is UH African American female with a tenured
Speaker 1: present UH professorship at Emory. But she had the hardest
Speaker 1: time with insurance from an academic institution as a medical doctor,
Speaker 1: navigating healthcare system for her husband, who had who had
Speaker 1: who had Alzeimer's. So it's a difficult system. The third
Speaker 1: point that I want to bring out and then I
Speaker 1: answer the question, is that when I was doing surgery
Speaker 1: and people had insurance, and this was even before Obamacare,
Speaker 1: was that this day and age, and you all can
Speaker 1: tell everybody knows as as well as they know the
Speaker 1: gas prices are high right now? Is that even even
Speaker 1: with insurance that daring deduct and code pay is incredible
Speaker 1: and so and so now people have to buy a
Speaker 1: small car or a quarter of a bitcoin just to
Speaker 1: get the dumb uh you know, deductible done so. But
Speaker 1: with that said, understanding all of that, you're better off
Speaker 1: having insurance. Not having insurance. Uh, it's just the opposite
Speaker 1: of having financial literacy. Especially if you're at the age
Speaker 1: or you have people in your family who may have
Speaker 1: a medical emergency, then it can be totally catastrophic. It
Speaker 1: can wipe you out and so forth. So if you
Speaker 1: can get insurance in this day and age, that's one
Speaker 1: of the things that a lot of employers are doing
Speaker 1: to offer. But that goes back to what we're talking
Speaker 1: about with regard to black men and black men health.
Speaker 1: It's the jobs that we can get and what type
Speaker 1: of insurance that offers and so forth. And then you
Speaker 1: were fortunate to have, you know, condine to get the insurance.
Speaker 1: But that also speaks to relationships and staying in relationships
Speaker 1: and the divorce rate in the community and so forth.
Speaker 1: And so you start seeing like, wow, okay, I just
Speaker 1: got a divorce. I don't have this good job. I'm
Speaker 1: all hard times I cannot pay the deductible copay, and
Speaker 1: then I'm not going to go to the emergency room
Speaker 1: when I should. I'm gonna make this longer. And that
Speaker 1: goes to another thing. When you start talking about black
Speaker 1: men having the worst statistics with regard to life expectancy
Speaker 1: and with each condition, that the next step is that
Speaker 1: when we do get those conditions, we present later, and
Speaker 1: we present with more difficult to treat conditions. And so
Speaker 1: uh an example of that is blood pressure. Right now,
Speaker 1: sixty over six black men and women have blood pressure issues.
Speaker 1: I see it every day with what I do. Most
Speaker 1: of us are still in denial there. I mean, I
Speaker 1: tell people your blood pressure is high. And when when
Speaker 1: Black people have high blood pressure, instead of being on
Speaker 1: one medication to treat, we normally need to or three.
Speaker 1: So not only do we have these conditions, we have
Speaker 1: the environment that increases our risk for these conditions, and
Speaker 1: then we have less access to the solutions, and for
Speaker 1: those who have access to the solutions, we get to
Speaker 1: them later with more serious conditions. So I have a
Speaker 1: question to to a family or a couple like Kadina
Speaker 1: and I who we were both independent contractors at the time.
Speaker 1: She decided to go and work full time to get insurance.
Speaker 1: What are some things they need to look at in
Speaker 1: their provider to say, Okay, one, I do have a provider,
Speaker 1: but number two, I have a good provider who would
Speaker 1: allow me to have regular doctor visits or dentists visits,
Speaker 1: because that was another thing. We had medical insurance, but
Speaker 1: they didn't cover dental at one point, so we had
Speaker 1: to have a separate insurance for dental. So it just
Speaker 1: seems like for for a lot of young people and
Speaker 1: Kadina and I, we went our twenties, had no idea
Speaker 1: about any of this. What what are some things that
Speaker 1: we can tell our viewers to look at or listeners
Speaker 1: to look at when they're trying to pick the right
Speaker 1: insurans to get the most out of the insurance. Here,
Speaker 1: what I always tell people is first you have to
Speaker 1: look within and that's where the assessment phase come. Who
Speaker 1: are you, what is your family? What is the risk
Speaker 1: profile of yourself and your family? And what do you
Speaker 1: need to address that risk? Right, So you have to say, okay,
Speaker 1: I got older or you're getting older, because you know
Speaker 1: the likelihood of getting something major unless it's an accident
Speaker 1: or something like that. Of course, when you're younger, you're
Speaker 1: more likely to get into those car accidents, etcetera. As
Speaker 1: you get older, you're more likely to get cron conditions
Speaker 1: and so forth. So anyway, you look at your own
Speaker 1: risk profile. But then when you look at the insurance,
Speaker 1: you look and see one, uh, of course it's going
Speaker 1: to be paid costs. Can you afford it? That's that's
Speaker 1: a rate limiting effect, a rate limiting factor there. So
Speaker 1: once you can afford something, then look within that and say, okay,
Speaker 1: what all does it cover? What doesn't it uh cover?
Speaker 1: Or what does it exclude? And then um, you want
Speaker 1: to look and see what providers you have access to,
Speaker 1: which hospitals, which hospitals are close to you? Right now,
Speaker 1: you know it's a big war going on with insurance companies,
Speaker 1: and you may want to go personally. I love Emory,
Speaker 1: I love Piedmont. I look for those sort of things.
Speaker 1: But you gotta say, Okay, where do I want to go,
Speaker 1: what's close to me? What do they cover emergency? Um?
Speaker 1: How much is the deductible? And then once I have
Speaker 1: a major issue do they do I? Is there a
Speaker 1: selling to it? Do I only pay up to or
Speaker 1: if it's a hundred thousand dollar bill, do they make
Speaker 1: me continue to pay that bill? So you have to
Speaker 1: look at you have to look at those things as well. UM.
Speaker 1: And then you have to look and see if family
Speaker 1: is involved, how much is the family doesn't deductible cover everybody, uh, individuals,
Speaker 1: But the main thing you have to have us a
Speaker 1: lot of people. You have to you have to get
Speaker 1: referrals from your primary care physician. So if you know someone,
Speaker 1: you know someone that you like, UM, then you can
Speaker 1: get it. I'm developing, UH. I have a new software
Speaker 1: company and one of the things it touches on this specifically,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna do much more so in the future,
Speaker 1: and that is how to find healthcare providers easily. And
Speaker 1: instead of getting a word of mouth from somebody who
Speaker 1: may like a certain physician, male, female, different gender and
Speaker 1: so forth, you'll be able to look objectively and you'll
Speaker 1: see their entire profile, see their ratings, you'll see their
Speaker 1: pricing up front and down the road. Especially with blockchain technology,
Speaker 1: all that stuff would be very transparent, including the insurance
Speaker 1: costs and deductibles. So what we need to do and
Speaker 1: what technology is going to help us do is make
Speaker 1: this a level plan feel and not just of people
Speaker 1: who are in the know, but anybody can pick up
Speaker 1: the app and everyone can see the exact same information
Speaker 1: and make decisions for themselves and their families. But it's
Speaker 1: very complex right now. Uh, it will get more transparent.
Speaker 1: But I just went through the process myself in December,
Speaker 1: and insurance is not like it used to be, you know,
Speaker 1: ten years ago and fifteen years ago. The prices are incredible,
Speaker 1: the options are very limited, um and and it's very
Speaker 1: hectic for the normal everyday person to navigate. That's absolutely.
Speaker 1: I mean, we just even had some schedule, um an
Speaker 1: appointment for one of our sons, and they wouldn't even
Speaker 1: talk about appointment dates, times or anything unless they knew
Speaker 1: that the insurance is something that we had and they
Speaker 1: had to call to verify it to make sure that
Speaker 1: they were going to get paid. Because I know there's
Speaker 1: also been the attle between you know, doctors and insurance companies,
Speaker 1: and then there's the patient and the doctor and the
Speaker 1: patient in the insurance company, and sometimes it becomes a
Speaker 1: matter of like hot potato, where we're throwing around this
Speaker 1: potato with like who deals with this situation or who's
Speaker 1: gonna have the answer or who has to pay for what?
Speaker 1: And that becomes even more discouraging and more frustrating. UM.
Speaker 1: I had a question to UM, say, you're a black
Speaker 1: man who you have insurance? We also know black men
Speaker 1: do not trust the medical profession right, anytime I talked
Speaker 1: to one of my friends about medicine and going to
Speaker 1: the doctor, the first thing they bring up. Everybody knows
Speaker 1: is the Tuskegee experiment. You know, I can't trust the government,
Speaker 1: I don't trust doctors if you go to UM. How
Speaker 1: do we educate our community so that they can be
Speaker 1: more trusting of the science and trusting of medical professionals,
Speaker 1: Because as a former pro athlete, I've learned to trust
Speaker 1: the science and trust medical professionals because that's you know,
Speaker 1: when your body is your business, you invest a lot
Speaker 1: of time and energy and being the best version of yourself.
Speaker 1: But a lot of people who don't have an opportunity
Speaker 1: to be in front of good doctors don't trust doctors.
Speaker 1: How do we how do we eliminate that that stigma
Speaker 1: that black men cannot trust doctors. I'm telling you, I
Speaker 1: have goose bumps, to be honest with you, because it's
Speaker 1: such a difficult issue. It's gonna start, to be honest
Speaker 1: with you, a comprehensive strategic plan where different groups from
Speaker 1: all walks of life come together and say, how do
Speaker 1: we address all of these different things and do them together?
Speaker 1: Right now? Especially in the Black community and our culture,
Speaker 1: we're so divided, especially when it comes to medicine, because
Speaker 1: we have that foundation and that faith, and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: very I'm very I really have a lot of faith,
Speaker 1: and I believe in God and so forth, and I
Speaker 1: believe I work for Him. But we're so quick in
Speaker 1: our we work, so we're so quick in our community
Speaker 1: to say, forget the doctors. I'm putting everything in God's
Speaker 1: you know, God, God, God, and and and and and
Speaker 1: it is not listening to medicine and so forth. And
Speaker 1: that messaging or what it is determined aby who controls
Speaker 1: the messaging with social media and you alls platform and
Speaker 1: other people with platforms that are like yours or they
Speaker 1: may have different messaging. Uh, it's very contradictory, and it's
Speaker 1: not clear for the masses. For the masses, I mean,
Speaker 1: I can I can get off of your platform and
Speaker 1: I can go onto another platform and that platform is saying,
Speaker 1: you know, doctors are bad. Uh, this whole COVID thing,
Speaker 1: you know, it's so divisive with mask and c d
Speaker 1: C and all this other stuff. So you've got half
Speaker 1: the platforms out there bad mouth and people like Dr
Speaker 1: Fauci and doctors and so forth, and other half you know,
Speaker 1: saying whatever, that is not helping the situation, and that
Speaker 1: that messaging doesn't help us as a people who are
Speaker 1: already suffering. So if you expect other platforms, other people,
Speaker 1: different colors and so forth to help with that message,
Speaker 1: well that's not going to happen. And so so we
Speaker 1: have to come across and say, okay, what are we
Speaker 1: gonna say? What what do we need to do and
Speaker 1: have good people with the messaging, no quacks and all
Speaker 1: this other stuff come out and do this. But but
Speaker 1: we but we need a solid plan from entertainers to
Speaker 1: entrepreneurs to everyday people coming together and say, what is
Speaker 1: our messaging around healthcare, what do we expect from health care,
Speaker 1: what do we demand from healthcare? And how we should
Speaker 1: we respond to that good health care and get more
Speaker 1: people talking about black men's health, women's health and so forth. Um,
Speaker 1: and just as much as with health literacy and understanding
Speaker 1: that we all work together. I'll give you another example.
Speaker 1: This guy is very prominent here in Atlanta. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say his name. Um. I was called to the
Speaker 1: UH to an Atlanta Hawks game where they were going
Speaker 1: to be at and I was giving him some healthy
Speaker 1: injections and so forth. And he's going through a weight
Speaker 1: loss journey himself right now. But the first thing he
Speaker 1: said when he came out from the v I P
Speaker 1: area was like, you know, I don't believe in the
Speaker 1: government stuff, or I don't believe in this and that.
Speaker 1: So this is a high profile, very influential person within
Speaker 1: our community, and the first thing he said to me,
Speaker 1: without knowing me at all, was that he doesn't trust
Speaker 1: you know, the government and doesn't trust this and that.
Speaker 1: But that's what we're fighting with. And that's the difficult part. Um.
Speaker 1: You know. The thing is, though, is that people say that,
Speaker 1: but when it when he gets very serious unfortunately with
Speaker 1: cancer and in the hospital and in testsive care unit,
Speaker 1: the trust goes, what can you do? Please help me,
Speaker 1: Please help me. It's a it's a different story there.
Speaker 1: But as long as long as you're out on the
Speaker 1: streets and you're driving, and you're drinking, and you're eating
Speaker 1: and so forth. It's a it's another story. But what
Speaker 1: we gotta do is have people And this is what
Speaker 1: I try to do, and I call this a ministry.
Speaker 1: I try to get people to hit a rock bottom
Speaker 1: before they actually hit rock bottom. That's the that's the
Speaker 1: thing that we have to do, is that you don't
Speaker 1: have to hit rock bottom and be in the emergency room,
Speaker 1: be sick, have cancer or whatever. How can we communicate
Speaker 1: that this is enough? Life can be so much better
Speaker 1: than here. But that's all with messaging and the medical
Speaker 1: community community cannot do that. Uh, the government cannot do that.
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, what are we telling ourselves and what
Speaker 1: is the long term effect on us, our race, and
Speaker 1: our future because we're slowly becoming extinct, right, and so
Speaker 1: we have to address black men's health, women's health, family health,
Speaker 1: financial health, all this other stuff for the sake of
Speaker 1: our survival. So that's that's a that's a tough question.
Speaker 1: But as the answer, that's going to require a lot
Speaker 1: of people, uh coming together, and that's the challenge before
Speaker 1: our culture, our community, and our people, can we stop,
Speaker 1: you know, with this divisiveness because it's not serving us
Speaker 1: at all. You know, you touched on a little bit
Speaker 1: um people feeling like, oh, you know, I can just
Speaker 1: pray this away and whatever this situation is and I
Speaker 1: won't have to see a doctor I have to take medication. Um.
Speaker 1: And I think that kind of is a good segue
Speaker 1: to talk about the holistic approach to healthcare because we
Speaker 1: had a friend who UM lost his stepmother, UM, young
Speaker 1: woman forty two years old too. They believe it was
Speaker 1: a heart attack and literally just out of nowhere. And
Speaker 1: this was someone who exercised. I think she was peskeyterian,
Speaker 1: you know, she was checking all those boxes that we
Speaker 1: have of like the perfect health or what you can
Speaker 1: do to make sure that your health and fitness journey
Speaker 1: is on point. So for someone like that to just
Speaker 1: completely just drop dead out of nowhere, it was the
Speaker 1: biggest shock. And we learned that she apparently was diagnosed
Speaker 1: with high blood pressure but did not want to take
Speaker 1: the medication and said she was taking a holistic approach
Speaker 1: to medicine by whatever herbal supplements and things like that,
Speaker 1: UM that she was taking. So with that being said, UM,
Speaker 1: what exactly does it mean to have the holistic approach
Speaker 1: to your health, and um, what can black men do
Speaker 1: to apply this to their health? Yeah, first, let me
Speaker 1: I hate to hear that this unfortunate story. A matter
Speaker 1: of fact, it goes back, especially when you start speaking
Speaker 1: of black men's health. Um, it's it's a shame that
Speaker 1: our life expectancy at birth it's only sixty eight years
Speaker 1: of age, which is ridiculous. You know, every time you
Speaker 1: every time you turn on um, social media or television,
Speaker 1: you find other races, other genders and so forth living
Speaker 1: into the eighties and nineties, and then we always have
Speaker 1: you know, some legend on it, you know, six and
Speaker 1: sixty eight and it shouldn't be that. Um yeah, and right,
Speaker 1: fifties and forties and so forth. Um, but from a
Speaker 1: holistic stamp. Before I say about the holistic, if you
Speaker 1: have a medical condition, I tell people it's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with temporarily been on medication to to stop the risk
Speaker 1: profile and to help the other process and so forth.
Speaker 1: Do not being denialed and say Okay, I'm gonna treat
Speaker 1: this differently. I'm gonna know as long as it helps,
Speaker 1: and you look at the different profiles and so forth,
Speaker 1: do what you have to do. And then work on
Speaker 1: these things as well. We don't get enough rest. Um,
Speaker 1: and that's one of the fears that I have with
Speaker 1: regard to, you know, the health of the financial literacy.
Speaker 1: Everybody is trying to be a boss. Everybody is trying
Speaker 1: to make money, and you know that messaging. You know,
Speaker 1: you have time to sleep later, you know, more hours
Speaker 1: putting it right, right, But you have to get the
Speaker 1: right amount of sleep. The lack of sleep, uh, contributes
Speaker 1: to the disease process. When you sleep, people don't realize
Speaker 1: that the body actually heals itself, It releases certain hormones
Speaker 1: and so forth. So even if it's not consecutive hours.
Speaker 1: But trying to get in that quality seven or eight
Speaker 1: hours of sleep, and with this day and age, uh,
Speaker 1: more so than ever. Uh, mental health is real big.
Speaker 1: Anxiety is huge, UH, depression is big, and so the
Speaker 1: ability to sleep and have quality sleep is becoming more
Speaker 1: and more difficult. But you need to sleep. You need
Speaker 1: to drink water. You know, the body is made mostly
Speaker 1: off water. UH, and without having that, you know, that's
Speaker 1: when the disease processes happen. That's when you have genetic
Speaker 1: alterations that lead to cancer and so forth. So you
Speaker 1: need the right amount of water, you need, the right
Speaker 1: amount of sleep, and then stress. I cannot emphasize this enough.
Speaker 1: I talked to roughly. I mean, over the past teen years,
Speaker 1: I've had a conversation like we're having right now with
Speaker 1: over three hundred thousand people. I see maybe a hundred
Speaker 1: people a day, and I talk with people and so forth.
Speaker 1: But I can now I'm so in tune with it.
Speaker 1: It's in the body language, it's in their faith, facial
Speaker 1: expressions and so forth. It's a lot of stress out there.
Speaker 1: Social media is not It is not helping at all
Speaker 1: in my opinion. But we have to deal with stress
Speaker 1: through proper nutrition, through rest, through getting in contact with nature,
Speaker 1: with taking social media breaks, turning off all the notifications
Speaker 1: and all this other stuff. But anyway, we have to
Speaker 1: deal with stress, right and so and so stress is
Speaker 1: contributing to that solid killer high blood pressure, and it's
Speaker 1: also contributing to weight loss. When the body is under stress,
Speaker 1: it causes the body's cortisol levels to go up, which
Speaker 1: is very similar to being on steroids. And if you
Speaker 1: know anything about being on steroids from asthma or something
Speaker 1: like that, it's hard to lose weight from steroids. In fact,
Speaker 1: most people gain weight. So anyway, stress is absolutely huge.
Speaker 1: And then of course we have to tackle eating, and
Speaker 1: eating is complex. A lot of people you know saying
Speaker 1: I a matter of fact, I have not met a
Speaker 1: person who've come to me has said I don't eat
Speaker 1: right and they all eat pork right. And so I've
Speaker 1: been doing this for I don't know, fourteen years or
Speaker 1: so forth. But the eating is complex. It's not only
Speaker 1: what you eat, is how much you eat, what time
Speaker 1: you eat, um, And then all those other factors. And
Speaker 1: then the last piece from a whole listening standpoint that
Speaker 1: the five things that have people remember the last pieces,
Speaker 1: the fitness part. We have to incorporate that and you
Speaker 1: all stay fit, the kids you have beautiful, thank you,
Speaker 1: And then mentioned it earlier. I love I love your family,
Speaker 1: and I think the whole world admires. That's a good thing.
Speaker 1: But but, but, but, but but everybody's stuff. You gotta
Speaker 1: you gotta work on the fitness and be consistent with that. UM.
Speaker 1: And of course you know the proper if you have
Speaker 1: the proper diet, you know you'll you'll bring in the
Speaker 1: vitamins and the minerals and the nutrients. But if you
Speaker 1: have a borderline diet or inconsistent diet, do to travel
Speaker 1: or do to work or whatever, it's okay to supplement
Speaker 1: those with healthy vitamins like vitamin D. I I tell everybody.
Speaker 1: I tell everybody, especially if you're of of color, and
Speaker 1: if you're a little overweight with a body mass index
Speaker 1: or be on my above thirty, and especially during the
Speaker 1: winter months, you have a vitamin D deficiency, and so
Speaker 1: vitamin D really helps with the immune system, It helps
Speaker 1: with the mood, helps with the sleeping, it helps with
Speaker 1: your bone health. And then you say, why do I
Speaker 1: need to worry about my bone health now? Then you
Speaker 1: start talking about medical conditions for us in our sixties
Speaker 1: and seventies, and then you say, oh, my goodness, why
Speaker 1: does somebody have a hip problem. Why did they fall
Speaker 1: and have an injury and became debilitating and now they
Speaker 1: reach the age of sixty and now they're dying at
Speaker 1: the age of sixty five because it changed your life
Speaker 1: due to a hip fracture. So all of this just
Speaker 1: takes awareness, and it starts as early as possible. And
Speaker 1: the conversations that we have with regard to this, like
Speaker 1: I said, I welcome of the financial literacy, but right
Speaker 1: there in parallel, we should also be having the health
Speaker 1: literacy and the conversations and make our self healthier, our
Speaker 1: families healthier, and then our communities. Covin, I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you why this is important, right, you said two things
Speaker 1: to me that kind of made me kind of just
Speaker 1: get shook, right because I already knew from studying a
Speaker 1: bunch of training, different type of training techniques. And they
Speaker 1: talked about Navy Seals. Navy Seals put their their cadets
Speaker 1: to I think it's a three day period where they
Speaker 1: can't sleep, to show them how sleep deprivation can affect
Speaker 1: them when it comes to depression and anxiety. And I
Speaker 1: think this is something over ninety of the Navy Seals
Speaker 1: during that time. Even the once we graduated, when they
Speaker 1: were going through the sleep deprivation cycle, felt uh, some
Speaker 1: form of depression and extreme anxiety. Now we're not Navy Seals.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine the average person who is team no sleep,
Speaker 1: either because they got kids or multiple businesses. They're trying
Speaker 1: to do all of this other stuff, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, and stressed because on top of the lack
Speaker 1: of sleep, they put them through stress cycles as well
Speaker 1: to see how they respond. But there are people, like
Speaker 1: you said, because of socio economic additions, conditions who exist
Speaker 1: in the space of no sleep and stress every single day.
Speaker 1: And I can think about family members who have gone
Speaker 1: through early set Alzheimer's, um hypertension, diabetes, and these are
Speaker 1: people who continue to work out and try to eat right.
Speaker 1: But now, when you said it to me, I'm like,
Speaker 1: these people didn't sleep and they were super stressed and
Speaker 1: made me think about myself. Here, I'm thirty seven. I
Speaker 1: try to eat as right as I can. My wife
Speaker 1: gives me vitamins. But there's days where, for example, we're
Speaker 1: doing the podcast up early, we're up late at night
Speaker 1: with the baby, and I have all the financially, you know,
Speaker 1: stuff that I'm working on. I just don't feel like myself,
Speaker 1: and I'm realizing that it could not. It probably has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with me working out and eating. It's
Speaker 1: probably just stressing, lack of sleep and and disconnecting because
Speaker 1: you also mentioned just disconnecting from social media, from your phone,
Speaker 1: from life, like Devot has not slept sound aside from
Speaker 1: the baby. But there's times when I'm like, Devot, turn
Speaker 1: your phone off, like it can wait. If you want
Speaker 1: to just leap a solid six seven, eight hours, take
Speaker 1: advantage of the time to do that, because everything else
Speaker 1: can wait, can wait. I'm literally looking at him over here, period,
Speaker 1: looking at the side of his face, because I'm just like, listen,
Speaker 1: Dr Calvin is saying what I've been saying, bro, and
Speaker 1: I mean equally. I'm sure you can look at me
Speaker 1: and say the same. But we're talking men's health today,
Speaker 1: black men's health. So I get it. I get it,
Speaker 1: and I gotta be I gotta be accountable because it's
Speaker 1: important for people to know that you can't you can't
Speaker 1: pay your way into good health. So it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how much money you make, you still have to take
Speaker 1: care of yourself. And this message that you said just
Speaker 1: now really resonated with me, Like I'm really going to
Speaker 1: try to take a lot more time to get some
Speaker 1: sleep and not stress myself out things that I can't control.
Speaker 1: Let me find ways to meditate. One of my favorite
Speaker 1: ways to relax, Kale tell you is I smoke weed
Speaker 1: at night. Okay, Um, that's like my glass of wine.
Speaker 1: You know. I'm really into the holistic approaches and being
Speaker 1: in l A for whole year and it being legal word.
Speaker 1: I'm not twisting your words, but I will say this
Speaker 1: the nice that I smoked, right, and I'm not a
Speaker 1: heavy smoke. I don't sit down and roll twelve joints
Speaker 1: in and no, but I have my bond. I'll take
Speaker 1: a couple of puffs in my bond and I do
Speaker 1: sleep better. I'll sleep a sound six to seven hours
Speaker 1: when after I've smoked, and I have felt better those
Speaker 1: nights that I sleep. So I don't meditate, but I smoke,
Speaker 1: so that's helping me with stress relief. I do have
Speaker 1: to have two things to say. I will get to
Speaker 1: the smoking because I just had a person. I had
Speaker 1: a guy who was just referred to me, and he
Speaker 1: came in and I was listening to his heart and
Speaker 1: lungs right, and I could smell the smoke on him,
Speaker 1: and I looked down at his nice pants and he
Speaker 1: had a had a hole in him where he dropped
Speaker 1: the ashes man he dropped. So so so I do
Speaker 1: I do have an answer to that. But getting back
Speaker 1: to the sleep, I wish I could reference specifically the article,
Speaker 1: but an article research article just came out uh saying
Speaker 1: that one bad nights, one bad night of sleep is
Speaker 1: equivalent to about three months of poor eating. Um. So
Speaker 1: it's it's it's that's significant. So that's that's that's something
Speaker 1: to sort of hang your hat on. But getting back
Speaker 1: to the smoking. Yeah, getting back to the smoking thing
Speaker 1: and so forth, and a lot of people do it,
Speaker 1: and um, and I don't have anything you know, against it.
Speaker 1: I mean it's more and more coming out, especially medical
Speaker 1: use of it and so forth. As long as you
Speaker 1: have control, right, um, and as long as you have
Speaker 1: control over it, and it's not leading to other things
Speaker 1: where you do drink too much or you you let
Speaker 1: your guard down and you start eating the wrong foods
Speaker 1: and so forth. Uh, then that can happen, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's what the guy who was here with me,
Speaker 1: he realized that as well. It was when he would
Speaker 1: go out and he was an he's an investor. I mean,
Speaker 1: this guy makes money. He invests in a lot of
Speaker 1: businesses and so forth. But he said, when he goes out,
Speaker 1: he's at the club, he's in his V I. P. Area,
Speaker 1: they're smoking, they're drinking up a ton, and that's putting
Speaker 1: on the calories. And so when he realized that and
Speaker 1: he stopped the alcohol just for a little bit. Uh
Speaker 1: just during the month of January dropped eight to ten
Speaker 1: pounds just off of that. So you have to realize
Speaker 1: what you do with the smoking, what is it? And
Speaker 1: then you have to ask yourself why am I smoking?
Speaker 1: Why am I drinking? And that's what we talked about.
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of times it's to stress. It's
Speaker 1: something going on in life. You're just trying to be
Speaker 1: trying to just you know, escape from it, and so
Speaker 1: you have to you know, address that head on. Otherwise,
Speaker 1: whatever you're trying to escape from, it's just gonna build
Speaker 1: and build and build, and then that's gonna be another problem.
Speaker 1: This might have to be a two part podcast question.
Speaker 1: We still got a whole lot of questions, questions, and
Speaker 1: we're running out of time, and I'm feeling some kind
Speaker 1: of way, Dr Kelvin. I feel like we're gonna have
Speaker 1: to schedule you back in for the next season as
Speaker 1: a follow up to this, right, um, But I want
Speaker 1: to definitely, in the meantime, have people do their due diligence,
Speaker 1: increase that health literacy that we're talking about, and by
Speaker 1: doing that, I think they should be able to engage
Speaker 1: in your work and you should tell them where they
Speaker 1: can find you online and a couple of the things
Speaker 1: you have going on so people can know that there's
Speaker 1: knowledge and information out there, it's accessible and um what
Speaker 1: we can look forward to from you. Yeah, on social media,
Speaker 1: you can find me on Instagram. My name is Dr
Speaker 1: Kelvin Brown Dr k E l v I N. Brown. Um.
Speaker 1: I have the website by the exact same name, Dr
Speaker 1: Calvin Brown dot com. And then the company that I'm
Speaker 1: really excited about and perhaps you all will look into
Speaker 1: it as well, is single System dot com is s
Speaker 1: y n C O System dot com and so that's
Speaker 1: gonna go live this summer. But it's it's my entire
Speaker 1: life put into this one effort out of all the
Speaker 1: things I've ever learned in public health and medicine, as
Speaker 1: a business owner and so forth. It's going to be
Speaker 1: powerful and uh, I am so confident that it's going
Speaker 1: to change the lives of millions, if not billions here
Speaker 1: in the United States and eventually globally. So you can
Speaker 1: look at that. I have a couple of books out,
Speaker 1: but all of that is in the link in my
Speaker 1: bio um on Instagram. Dr Calvin Brown. Umard to that
Speaker 1: because you were a wealth of knowledge just in this
Speaker 1: short time that we've had you. So I can just
Speaker 1: imagine if we can pick your brain over the year's
Speaker 1: worth of work that you have, it's going to be
Speaker 1: quite an extensive catalog to take a look at. So
Speaker 1: y'all heard it here, Dr Calvin Brown, We thank you
Speaker 1: so much for your time. We'll be sure to have
Speaker 1: you back where we can chat more and do like
Speaker 1: a part two on this right, Yes, sir, and I
Speaker 1: want to say to um, I appreciate you because part
Speaker 1: of the lack of trust that we have is that
Speaker 1: we don't see too many black male doctors. So as
Speaker 1: a black man, when you can go and speak to
Speaker 1: someone who looks like you, then you you have a
Speaker 1: little bit more comfort because I feel like I'm speaking
Speaker 1: to someone who knows my plight. So give you your flowers, sir.
Speaker 1: We appreciate you. Dr Kelvin, and you'll definitely be hearing
Speaker 1: from us because we're gonna have you back because I
Speaker 1: still have more questions. I still have, absolutely and you're
Speaker 1: in You're in Atlantis, so we're like close by, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. We're trying to expand our our
Speaker 1: tribe and territory out here, so maybe we should link up,
Speaker 1: link up for dinner over a healthy dinner one day,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Absolutely, And like I said,
Speaker 1: thank you all so much. I admire you all as
Speaker 1: as people. I admire you all as husband and wife
Speaker 1: and family and so forth. And you're doing a lot
Speaker 1: of a lot of great things for us as a
Speaker 1: community and as a culture. So thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: I look forward to the next steps. Appreciate Shanke you
Speaker 1: so much. Have a good one. All right, one more time,
Speaker 1: let's give it up for Dr Kelvin Brown, who was
Speaker 1: a wealth of knowledge here. He knows so much about
Speaker 1: health and I'm looking forward I think particularly to his
Speaker 1: app that's coming out Cinco, where we can go in
Speaker 1: there and just really dissect everything that is that we
Speaker 1: need to know about health care, healthcare providers, um and
Speaker 1: just pretty much a place that we can just do
Speaker 1: the work in ourselves to figure out, you know, what's
Speaker 1: the best route for us to take mentally and health wise,
Speaker 1: and trust us. We're not telling you to trust everything,
Speaker 1: but at least do your research. I mean, the thing
Speaker 1: Dr Kelvin brought up was the noise in social media, right,
Speaker 1: everybody's whatever, whatever the crisis is for that week, everyone
Speaker 1: on social media becomes an expert. So many people were
Speaker 1: vaccine experts. Now everyone is experts on foreign policy because
Speaker 1: Russia and Ukraine or in the war. So it's like
Speaker 1: there's all these experts that live out here. Do your
Speaker 1: due diligence. Uh, listen to people that you trust when
Speaker 1: making decisions about your health. Absolutely. All right. Now that's
Speaker 1: a quick quick break. Time. We're gonna get into some
Speaker 1: ads and then come back with listening letters. Stay right
Speaker 1: here all right, Time for a listener letters, and then
Speaker 1: we'll finish out with our moment of truth as we
Speaker 1: usually do. Um, and we're going to dive into the
Speaker 1: first letter. You want to go first, babe, All right,
Speaker 1: but I go first. Hello, Codeine and Developed. My boyfriend
Speaker 1: and I have been together for four years and we
Speaker 1: are both twenty seven years old. In the beginning of
Speaker 1: our relationship, we spoke about living together, marriage and having children,
Speaker 1: and the conversation went well and we seem to agree
Speaker 1: on a lot of things. I have brought the conversation
Speaker 1: back up because it has been four years and we
Speaker 1: are not getting any younger, and I am ready to
Speaker 1: take the next step in our relationship, whether it's moving
Speaker 1: in together or getting engaged, but he is not. He
Speaker 1: would like to wait instead. He is ready to have
Speaker 1: a baby because he doesn't want to be an old dad. Now,
Speaker 1: mind you, he was he had he already has a
Speaker 1: seven year old from a previous relationship. When I asked
Speaker 1: why a baby and not moving in together again engaged,
Speaker 1: he said, because I know what it's like to be
Speaker 1: a father. I don't know anything about being a husband
Speaker 1: or no anybody in a happy marriage. And I want
Speaker 1: to save my money to buy a house. I am
Speaker 1: not going to live in an apartment to pay someone
Speaker 1: else's mortgage. He has not. He has not had steady
Speaker 1: work in the past two years. Granted, I am not
Speaker 1: where I want to be yet, but I have consistently
Speaker 1: been working and going to school, which I graduate next year. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: We have not been in a good space lately, arguing,
Speaker 1: not spending much time together, and barely having sex. I
Speaker 1: never pictured myself dating, let alone falling in love with
Speaker 1: someone with a kid until I met him. I haven't
Speaker 1: felt this way about someone before, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to just give up on us. But I don't want
Speaker 1: to continue down this path because right now I am
Speaker 1: very unhappy. Please can you give your girl some advice?
Speaker 1: This is the first thing. He's already a dad. I
Speaker 1: can't even possibly think about planning to bring another life
Speaker 1: into the world without steady work like that to me
Speaker 1: just does not I just don't. I can't fathom what
Speaker 1: that's like. People do it all the time, and they
Speaker 1: find ways. Kudos to them, But planning to bring another
Speaker 1: life when you don't have steady work and you already
Speaker 1: have another life to take care of, to me, just
Speaker 1: seems asked backwards. You know, I know we always talk
Speaker 1: about not judging people on this show, and and we
Speaker 1: don't ever want to be judged, but certain things require
Speaker 1: planning and responsibility. You understand what I'm saying, And for me,
Speaker 1: I don't understand. Unless you plan to co parent together
Speaker 1: and both handle the financial burden, asking someone to have
Speaker 1: your baby when you can't even take care of yourself,
Speaker 1: to me just seem selfish and in responsive. That's the
Speaker 1: biggest problem this whole scenario here, Yes, exactly, because it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: moving in together, being engaged, being married, all that's cute,
Speaker 1: But when you're thinking about providing for another life, we're
Speaker 1: already having one, and then there'd be a family of four.
Speaker 1: She's going to have to be pregnant for nine to
Speaker 1: ten months, and then after the baby comes, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things that need to get done and taken
Speaker 1: care of. And if he can't contribute financially because he
Speaker 1: doesn't have steady work, and then he can't contribute any
Speaker 1: other way because you're you know your dad, you don't
Speaker 1: you don't breastfeed, or God, for read, something happens to
Speaker 1: her she can't go back to work right away, or
Speaker 1: or you know, something happens to her and he doesn't
Speaker 1: have insurance, like like as we talked about, like, these
Speaker 1: are things that you need to consider when trying to
Speaker 1: plan life and bring another life into this world. So absolutely,
Speaker 1: And I think the fear of the unknown seems like
Speaker 1: a little bit for him here too, because he's saying, well,
Speaker 1: I know, I'm comfortable being a dad, so that's something
Speaker 1: I'm good at, and if I have another baby, I'll
Speaker 1: be a great dad because I've done this before. But
Speaker 1: not knowing healthy, healthy marriages, or not experiencing or being
Speaker 1: around people who are in healthy marriages, not paying someone
Speaker 1: else's mortgage, I can't agree with that. Moments where we
Speaker 1: felt that way as well too. But but how are
Speaker 1: you going to buy a house you don't have a
Speaker 1: steady job? Right? I was about to say, you see
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, How how are you going to get
Speaker 1: approved for a mortgage? Where where's the down payment going
Speaker 1: to come from? There are certain things that have to
Speaker 1: happen first in order for you to make the next
Speaker 1: step in life, and I would think that having steady
Speaker 1: work would be the first thing you do, and not
Speaker 1: that life or God or social constructs have created a plan.
Speaker 1: But typically it's you ski a steady job, you meet someone,
Speaker 1: you find out if you love them or like them,
Speaker 1: you get married, you approaches at home. You have a
Speaker 1: baby so that you can put things in order so
Speaker 1: that you can take care of it. When you just
Speaker 1: jump from not even having a steady job to having
Speaker 1: a baby, it just seems like all those other things
Speaker 1: in between are just gonna be messed up. Like you said,
Speaker 1: sometimes it happens, but then it requires just figuring things
Speaker 1: out and scrambling, Whereas if you're consciously going into something
Speaker 1: and making a plan and of course of action, it's
Speaker 1: to say you can't steps in between that you know,
Speaker 1: and then you're saying that you don't know of any
Speaker 1: or him saying that he doesn't know of anyone that
Speaker 1: is in a healthy marriage or relationship. He can know
Speaker 1: a bunch of shitty ass dads doesn't mean he's creating
Speaker 1: shitty ass dad. You have to not let that be
Speaker 1: an indicator as to whether or not you will be
Speaker 1: successful in your marriage, because you've seen shitty ask marriages.
Speaker 1: Because we see him every day, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: And we see unhappy people every day. But it's a
Speaker 1: choice you make every day. Speaking of choices, she said,
Speaker 1: can you give me some advice to to what I think? Mama?
Speaker 1: You have a plan that you want for your life, right,
Speaker 1: and we talk about this all the time. Um, you're
Speaker 1: not obligated to anyone or anyone's idea of what you
Speaker 1: should do or who you should be. So if you
Speaker 1: don't feel comfortable in this situation and it no longer
Speaker 1: serves you, feel free to move on and be proud
Speaker 1: of the strength you have to move on and find
Speaker 1: someone who is like minded enough to go into life
Speaker 1: with the same plan as you. That's the only way
Speaker 1: it works. Like just staying in because of time or
Speaker 1: I really like this person, but it's not going to
Speaker 1: serve you in the long run. So really sit down
Speaker 1: and take inventory of what's important. And if you guys
Speaker 1: can't have conversations to get on the same page, you
Speaker 1: might want to think about moving in another direction. I
Speaker 1: hope that helps, girl, That helps, al Right, onto the
Speaker 1: second one. I love you guys a lot and your
Speaker 1: content is great. Thank you. I am a twenty two
Speaker 1: year old college female student. I want to know how
Speaker 1: you explored your sexual needs by being a young, godfearing
Speaker 1: couple in college. We explored I have no one to
Speaker 1: ask because I come from a CULTU were a sexual
Speaker 1: activity of any kind or asking about it is wrong
Speaker 1: capital letters? Okay, girl, same. I want to have wisdom
Speaker 1: about not necessarily wanting to do it. How would you
Speaker 1: advise your boys going to college to go about it?
Speaker 1: What did you guys learn about how to be careful wise,
Speaker 1: mentally healthy young adults all through that process? Love you lots? Yeah, girls,
Speaker 1: So DEVELOP and I were lucky enough that we found
Speaker 1: each other in college, and we were pretty much moronogamous
Speaker 1: in college, but it was you and I. But she said,
Speaker 1: being careful, wise, mentally healthy, young adults, So that's what
Speaker 1: we weren't. We were not, as you'll find out next year,
Speaker 1: were working on a project. We'll talk about that, but
Speaker 1: some things we're going to save because they're coming out
Speaker 1: later in terms of stories and whatnot. But we weren't
Speaker 1: necessarily always making the right decisions, the wise decisions because
Speaker 1: we were college throng and love and but we also
Speaker 1: came from background similar to her, where your parents didn't
Speaker 1: talk about sex and my parents, so we figured it
Speaker 1: out with each other on our own, and luckily we
Speaker 1: were able to figure it out just with each other
Speaker 1: for the most part, Like you know, there weren't many
Speaker 1: outside influences, and we weren't having to deal with like
Speaker 1: too many people in and out of our relationship, and
Speaker 1: you know, we didn't. We didn't. That wasn't us um
Speaker 1: or just having casual sex that people tend to have
Speaker 1: and stuff nowadays. Two one of us none of the
Speaker 1: respirations into that really, but we both knew, like, for example,
Speaker 1: there were times when we took breaks in college and
Speaker 1: if I wanted to explore something that I always told
Speaker 1: that this is what am I intended to do? And
Speaker 1: in those cases I protected myself right so I was
Speaker 1: mature enough at that point to protect myself. But I
Speaker 1: think that's when what I was going to get at
Speaker 1: too is just the biggest protection thing. Because you said,
Speaker 1: what would you tell what would we tell our boys
Speaker 1: about in college? You know, Well, the first thing is
Speaker 1: we're going to be transparent with our kids about and
Speaker 1: I'm not waiting to college, you know, I'm already transparent,
Speaker 1: which because Jackson is going to middle school next year.
Speaker 1: I remember middle school. Middle school is a cesspool, right,
Speaker 1: So people, young kids, you are, but you don't have
Speaker 1: to be. You really don't have to be. Young kids
Speaker 1: are all looking to explore, and if you come from
Speaker 1: a home where sex is taboo, those are the kids
Speaker 1: who do the most exploring during those times because there's
Speaker 1: no one at home to guide them. So what I
Speaker 1: would do with my boys is, especially Jackson being the oldest,
Speaker 1: is we have open conversations about what sex is, what
Speaker 1: can happen when you have sex, what the feeling is
Speaker 1: like um, and even as much as when you feel
Speaker 1: that energy of that girl over there that I like,
Speaker 1: what type of energy is that? And how do I
Speaker 1: move on that energy? Because it's important for people to
Speaker 1: understand that some of these young boys who don't know
Speaker 1: how to act accordingly have never been taught. And that's
Speaker 1: part of the problem, right We as males have been
Speaker 1: given the privilege to do whatever we want to do,
Speaker 1: and then it's boys will be boys, but then young
Speaker 1: girls get judged. So for me, it's speaking to my
Speaker 1: boys about that privilege and learning to use discernment when
Speaker 1: it's time to figure out how I like this girl.
Speaker 1: She she makes me feel a certain way. What you know,
Speaker 1: what am I entitled to? Are not entitled to? You
Speaker 1: are entitled to say hello? You know? It was it
Speaker 1: was just as young as Okay, I'm kind of out
Speaker 1: Jackson a little bit here, and our people in in
Speaker 1: l A shout out to Rob and Courtney. They have
Speaker 1: a beautiful young daughter who's the same age as Jackson,
Speaker 1: and Jackson went by their house and then he came
Speaker 1: home and Robed calls and he's like, man, we got
Speaker 1: him talking, and I was like, what happened? He was
Speaker 1: just like, you know, I was. I was downstairs, and
Speaker 1: then my oldest son came downstairs and was just like,
Speaker 1: um yo, Jackson got his arm all I get their
Speaker 1: daughter's name. His arm around Aubrey right, and then the
Speaker 1: father was like, Rob, this is my guy. Was just like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah. It's like, so what they doing? They know
Speaker 1: they watched the movie, but he got his all around it.
Speaker 1: And this is Aaron. Aaron at was fourteen years old.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna do nothing. You gotta go say something.
Speaker 1: So by the time he got upstairs, Jackson already had
Speaker 1: his arm from around Aubrey, right. So then Jackson comes home.
Speaker 1: Of course, Jackson being a gentleman, as we talked about,
Speaker 1: when Aubrey came by our house, he walked her to
Speaker 1: the door, made sure she got in the door, said hello,
Speaker 1: and I came back home. So when Jackson gets back
Speaker 1: home at this in this particular time, because he was
Speaker 1: at their houses this big of time, I said, how
Speaker 1: was everything right? And he's like, everything's fine. I was
Speaker 1: just like, so, m anything happened and he was just
Speaker 1: like looking like no, why. So I was like, so
Speaker 1: I heard that you had your arm around Aubrey. And
Speaker 1: first thing is oh gosh, dad, and he's he's nine
Speaker 1: at this point, he's nine. He's like, oh gosh, come
Speaker 1: on man. I was just like, you're not in trouble,
Speaker 1: like Mr Rob Tomanzo and used to tell me what happened.
Speaker 1: He's just like, no, I just we're watching the movie.
Speaker 1: And I was like, can I put my arm around you?
Speaker 1: And I said what she said? She's just like yes.
Speaker 1: I said, so you asked for permission and he was
Speaker 1: like yes I did. I said, but why do you
Speaker 1: want to put your arm around her? And he was
Speaker 1: just like, I don't know. When you and mommy watch movies,
Speaker 1: you put your arm around mommy. So like, okay, that's fair.
Speaker 1: And then I said, so then what happened. She's just
Speaker 1: like so after like maybe seconds, she's like, okay, you
Speaker 1: can move your arm now. So I moved. It sounds
Speaker 1: like it was about seconds. He was like, give a
Speaker 1: take to get out of trouble now, and Mrs Robbs
Speaker 1: will be mad now and now. And I said no,
Speaker 1: Mrs Rob's not mad. But you know Aaron saw and
Speaker 1: he looks up to Aaron's like, oh man, Aaron sawts.
Speaker 1: So now Aaron's not gonna like me. I said, no,
Speaker 1: that's not the case. What happens is is you have
Speaker 1: to learn how to be a gentleman, because that's someone's
Speaker 1: daughter and it's important for them to know that the
Speaker 1: guys they have around their daughters are gentlemen. So you
Speaker 1: did a good job, and you did the right thing.
Speaker 1: You asked for permission, and when if she ever feels uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: then you do not do whatever it is that makes
Speaker 1: her feel uncomfortable. That type of conversation is going to
Speaker 1: be the same conversation we have as we progress to
Speaker 1: dating and kissing and sex and babies. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: upfront and honest, and I'm not gonna hold any punches.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let them know what's appropriate and what's in
Speaker 1: appropriate and how they're supposed to move absolutely, but I'm
Speaker 1: not going to make them feel awkward and guilty about
Speaker 1: having sexual urges. I'm not going to do that. That's
Speaker 1: where I well, my mother never made me for my
Speaker 1: father never made me feel guilty or awkward or anything.
Speaker 1: It was just always kind of like an awful limits topic. Like,
Speaker 1: we're just not going to have that conversation because you know,
Speaker 1: immaculate conception. Can you talk? Even though when I look back,
Speaker 1: even though when I look back on my um, I
Speaker 1: look back at my mom's wedding pictures, I was like, Sis,
Speaker 1: I was there, but I wasn't there. So I know
Speaker 1: what happened before before you got married. Talk about what
Speaker 1: you said. Can you talk about how your mom um
Speaker 1: believed that you were a vision up until the night
Speaker 1: before my wedding. I don't know if I talk before that.
Speaker 1: My mom literally bought me. Do you remember the Will
Speaker 1: the Freshman's episode with Will Smith and Um what was
Speaker 1: her name from a living singles? Yes, Um Fields And
Speaker 1: she has on that silk pad padded show the pad
Speaker 1: roads with like the dangling sequence and lads, and it
Speaker 1: was like floor length. So she got me like this
Speaker 1: night this like nightgown set and then the rope to
Speaker 1: go with it. And then she was just like, you know,
Speaker 1: this is for your wedding night. So when your husband,
Speaker 1: you know, he addresses you. And I was like, what
Speaker 1: she said, He's going to undress you and he's going
Speaker 1: to consummate the marriage. The marriage. I was like, Sis,
Speaker 1: there's been some kinds of mating going constantly. Listen, the
Speaker 1: consummation was consummating, constant mating, that's what we're doing. It
Speaker 1: was constant mating happening over the eight years that we
Speaker 1: were together. And I was like, and we had this
Speaker 1: conversation like over dinner one day and it was very awkward,
Speaker 1: and where she was eating steaks, she almost choked. The
Speaker 1: fourth thing, I was about to have to perform the
Speaker 1: hamlet on me, but now I am also I also
Speaker 1: want you, mama to think. We talked to Melissa and
Speaker 1: Kevin Frederick's Kevil on stage, and Melissa talked about how
Speaker 1: she grew up in a church. They always made her,
Speaker 1: like all the girls feel guilty about sexual urges, and
Speaker 1: then in a way, she didn't even know how to
Speaker 1: be a wife when she got married, because it was
Speaker 1: just like you allow right, you allow men to do
Speaker 1: all listening. Boys will be boys, go out, explore, have
Speaker 1: a good time. But then when it comes to women,
Speaker 1: it save yourself for marriage, don't do this, don't do that.
Speaker 1: But then these men want these women to now be
Speaker 1: their wives and be open sexually, and she's never been open,
Speaker 1: she's never explored. She doesn't know what she likes, she
Speaker 1: doesn't know what he likes. She's just afraid because it's
Speaker 1: been so negative and taboo this whole time. I would
Speaker 1: tell my daughter number one, because it's a very different conversation.
Speaker 1: If I had a daughter, I would tell my daughter
Speaker 1: that having sexual urges is not wrong, and it's normal
Speaker 1: first and foremost, but you need to speak to your
Speaker 1: mom about the proper way, because I can't man explain
Speaker 1: what it is to be a woman and have urges.
Speaker 1: You need to speak to your mom openly about what
Speaker 1: she did to find out what she likes, what she
Speaker 1: doesn't like, what she approves of, what she doesn't approve of,
Speaker 1: and how she moved safely throughout her exploration process in life.
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to say that I dodged that bullet,
Speaker 1: but I know as a mom with boys, I will
Speaker 1: also be doubling down on the conversation you have from
Speaker 1: a woman's perspective. They deserve to Yeah, they deserve to
Speaker 1: know as well, at least from a woman's perspective. That
Speaker 1: is so good because because you always think about the
Speaker 1: man explaining with the man, like you know, the boys
Speaker 1: were men explaining to the boys from the man's perspective,
Speaker 1: particularly with sex. But as a woman, I want to
Speaker 1: make sure that my boys are sound individuals when they
Speaker 1: know how to maneuver with women intimately. You know, I
Speaker 1: never thought about that because as a father, I said,
Speaker 1: if I had a daughter, I would teach my daughter
Speaker 1: the game and I would tell her all the all
Speaker 1: the things that the guys are looking for and what
Speaker 1: they might try to do to manipulate you. But also, right,
Speaker 1: there's this that's the same thing. Women do the same
Speaker 1: thing to men. But I would also tell my daughter, like,
Speaker 1: if you're looking to be someone's I don't want to
Speaker 1: say wife, because you don't have to be someone's wife
Speaker 1: while you're exploring. But if you know the type of
Speaker 1: guy that you're looking for, you you have to understand
Speaker 1: that there are certain needs that a man has as
Speaker 1: a woman that if you wanted to be in your
Speaker 1: power to serve him, be prepared for the same way
Speaker 1: I'm talking to my son's now about you want to
Speaker 1: be somebody's husband. This is what is required to be
Speaker 1: someone's husband. This is what it entails, if your life,
Speaker 1: if your wife likes this, if sexually she needs this,
Speaker 1: this is your responsibility as a husband. This is what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell my boys. I feel like if I
Speaker 1: had a daughter, I would have the same exact conversation. Yep,
Speaker 1: sounds good. Wow, that was like a whole episode. It
Speaker 1: was a listening letter. I'm like, okay, um, all right, y'all.
Speaker 1: Soo as you can see we're getting into the nitty
Speaker 1: gritty with these listening letters. So email us while it's hot,
Speaker 1: okay at advice at gmail dot com. That's right, there's
Speaker 1: d E A D A S S A d V
Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. All right, moment
Speaker 1: of truth. Time back to men's health. Um, we're gonna
Speaker 1: wrap up the episode with a tape away, a tidbit
Speaker 1: something that you felt. Um for me, I think it
Speaker 1: just rolls back to my sound bite and what I
Speaker 1: spoke about briefly during the episode. Black men, we love
Speaker 1: you and we want you to be around. There are
Speaker 1: so many obstacles that the black man has to overcome,
Speaker 1: deal with, face with on a day to day basis,
Speaker 1: just living and existing in his skin. Um, socially, you
Speaker 1: know that, I feel like if this is something that
Speaker 1: we can take into our hands, if we can, as
Speaker 1: our black women, as we can continue to pour into
Speaker 1: our husbands and into our you know, brothers, and into
Speaker 1: our our cousins and our uncles, the importance of taking
Speaker 1: care of themselves, because this is something that we can
Speaker 1: control to an extent, health care, you know, insurance aside um,
Speaker 1: do that, like, let's continue to just take care of
Speaker 1: each other while we can, because there's so many things
Speaker 1: that we can avoid, so many things that can be vented.
Speaker 1: As we heard from Dr Brown, Um that if we
Speaker 1: just take the time to take care of each other
Speaker 1: and take care of ourselves, we can probably live longer. Absolutely, Um,
Speaker 1: my moment of truth is simple. This was a moment
Speaker 1: of truth as you were staring into the side of
Speaker 1: my face because Dr Calvin Brown was talking. But um,
Speaker 1: sleep deprivation and stress are silent killers like carbon monox side.
Speaker 1: So so men, young men, do not let your grind
Speaker 1: be the grim reaper. So you're constantly working team no sleep.
Speaker 1: I gotta get this money. I gotta hustle out of
Speaker 1: out of But it's stressing you out and you're not sleeping.
Speaker 1: You won't even be able to see and exist and
Speaker 1: enjoy the fruits of your labor if you don't get
Speaker 1: some sleep and stop stressing that part. All right, y'all
Speaker 1: continue to follow us on social media. Dr Kelvin gave
Speaker 1: you all of his Dr Calvin Brown, I just say
Speaker 1: his whole name. Um, he gave you all of his handles.
Speaker 1: But for us, you know where to find us. That
Speaker 1: as the podcast, Dan I am and I am devout,
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