1
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:07,640
Speaker 1: Niggas is sick y'all dead ass, and the way I

2
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 1: love so many black men in my life. I need

3
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:19,640
Speaker 1: y'all to be healthy. Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises.

4
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,640
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our

5
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:27,600
Speaker 1: boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

6
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:31,360
Speaker 1: I'll make you need therby most days. Wow. And one

7
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,640
Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We

8
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,760
Speaker 1: created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's

9
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,279
Speaker 1: most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk

10
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,680
Speaker 1: about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead

11
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,839
Speaker 1: adds is the term that we say every day. So

12
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:50,800
Speaker 1: when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,

13
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,480
Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about

14
00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:58,000
Speaker 1: to take pillows off to a whole new level. Dead

15
00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:04,440
Speaker 1: ass starts right now. So this story time is not

16
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,720
Speaker 1: a funny story time. This is a very real story time.

17
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:14,319
Speaker 1: This has happened last year. Um, literally right before my birthday.

18
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,280
Speaker 1: My brother calls me on the phone randomly and goes,

19
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:21,880
Speaker 1: Yodeve was suck. I'm like, what's good? He says, Um,

20
00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,320
Speaker 1: you'll call your pops. I'm like, Wow, what's the matter.

21
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,520
Speaker 1: He's like now, he don't look good, and you know

22
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,600
Speaker 1: he don't listen to nobody, but just just call him.

23
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,680
Speaker 1: So historically, my Pops is not like going to the doctor.

24
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,119
Speaker 1: He has no patience. He feels like he can heal

25
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,560
Speaker 1: himself with everything. He really believer in Jesus and what

26
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,679
Speaker 1: Jesus has in story for him and God and all

27
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 1: of that. So my father feels like he has his

28
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,880
Speaker 1: life under control. Plus I also know that my father

29
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:51,559
Speaker 1: has fear of hospitals and doctors. So I called my pop.

30
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 1: In two years prior to this, remember, my brother and

31
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,920
Speaker 1: I had to take him to the hospital all right

32
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:03,120
Speaker 1: before Thanksgiving because he was having chest pain. And I

33
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,120
Speaker 1: call my pops and my father. If y'all know my father,

34
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,600
Speaker 1: he's what a broke? How are you doing? You know?

35
00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:13,320
Speaker 1: You know he's a very jolly man like he So

36
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,359
Speaker 1: when I get on the phone and I'm looking at him,

37
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:19,560
Speaker 1: his face was extremely drawn. My father is over three

38
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,240
Speaker 1: fifty pounds, so when you see a three fifty pound

39
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:26,040
Speaker 1: man with a drawn face, automatically something is like not right.

40
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,200
Speaker 1: Like he his face to look full. He looked dry,

41
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,120
Speaker 1: kind of grayish. I remember, like underneath his neck here

42
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,320
Speaker 1: was like hanging like real looking, real sick. So I'm like, hey, school,

43
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,000
Speaker 1: what's up. Bro? You know what I'm saying. I'm not

44
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,880
Speaker 1: trying to tip him off that my brother told me

45
00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,040
Speaker 1: to call. So he's just like, I'm good, Bro, I'm good.

46
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,520
Speaker 1: And he's trying to smile because I know my pops

47
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,839
Speaker 1: trying to smile because I'm always on my parents about health,

48
00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,760
Speaker 1: not just my father, but my mother too. Like I'm like, y'all,

49
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:58,640
Speaker 1: y'all owe us to be here, Like y'all, y'all owe us,

50
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,880
Speaker 1: you owe your grandkids to be here. So I look

51
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,240
Speaker 1: at my dad, I said, how you feel? And he's

52
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,440
Speaker 1: just like, oh, you know, I had a toothache. I

53
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,040
Speaker 1: was taking some medication, so my mouth is my my

54
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,880
Speaker 1: mouth is kind of drying. I kept using the bathroom

55
00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:12,760
Speaker 1: and it's it's the medication, bro, it's the medication. So

56
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,800
Speaker 1: I stopped taking the medication. So I look at my pops.

57
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,440
Speaker 1: Already know he's in his Dina phase. So I said,

58
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,320
Speaker 1: can you give mommy the phone please? I don't even

59
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk no more. I already recognize

60
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,839
Speaker 1: what it is. So my mom is on the phone.

61
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,200
Speaker 1: And was was like, hey, the vale And I'm like, you

62
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,600
Speaker 1: know what that is. And she's just like, yeah, we're

63
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,560
Speaker 1: supposed to go to doctor on Wednesday. I said, monus

64
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:34,000
Speaker 1: the diabetes. I said, his mouth is dry, he's going

65
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,520
Speaker 1: to the bathroom every fifteen minutes. He looks drawn. That's

66
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,000
Speaker 1: that's like the sugar. That's the sugar. That's the sugar.

67
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,320
Speaker 1: And she was just like, we know, you know the

68
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,200
Speaker 1: valt you know she's trying to pass the fire me now.

69
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,040
Speaker 1: And we got it. I said, my take him to

70
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,800
Speaker 1: the hospital, take him to the doctor tomorrow, tomorrow, or

71
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 1: I'm coming home and I'm taking him to the doctor

72
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,160
Speaker 1: because we're not gonna wait till Wednesday. At this point,

73
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,240
Speaker 1: it was Sunday, and she was just like val relaxed.

74
00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,160
Speaker 1: I said, I'm not going to relax. Take him to

75
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:06,240
Speaker 1: the doctor tomorrow or I'm coming home. Fine, Fine, Fine,

76
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,120
Speaker 1: So she got my father to agree to go to

77
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,880
Speaker 1: the doctor. They go to the doctor in the next day,

78
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,240
Speaker 1: They check his level, they check everything. They tell my

79
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,839
Speaker 1: mom you need to admit your husband to the hospital.

80
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,320
Speaker 1: And she's like why, And I believe at that point

81
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:26,480
Speaker 1: his blood sugar level was like sev hundred it was.

82
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,600
Speaker 1: It was so bad that there was like, the machine

83
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,000
Speaker 1: won't go as high as your blood sugar is, and

84
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,440
Speaker 1: you have to go to the hospital so we can

85
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,599
Speaker 1: find out what your actual blood sugar is. But the

86
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,000
Speaker 1: fact that the machine won't calculate it means that you're

87
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:45,920
Speaker 1: a walking coma right now. His A one C was ridiculous.

88
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,840
Speaker 1: It was more than twice the level of a diabetes patient.

89
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,680
Speaker 1: I think for diabetes it's seven. It was seven or

90
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,480
Speaker 1: seven point five, and I think he was above fourteen

91
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:01,320
Speaker 1: at this point. And then when once he goes to

92
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,160
Speaker 1: doctor and they admit him, you know, he has all

93
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,240
Speaker 1: these questions and stuff, then all the truth comes out.

94
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,200
Speaker 1: My father says to me, yeah, I had my my

95
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,120
Speaker 1: sugar taken in October and they said it was it

96
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,680
Speaker 1: was it was seven point five then, so you was

97
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:17,320
Speaker 1: pre diabetic. But you were pre diabetic and still drinking

98
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,279
Speaker 1: soda and still eating cakes and still eating rice and

99
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:24,760
Speaker 1: still putting gravy on everything. So he goes to the doctor.

100
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,560
Speaker 1: The doctor tells my father that he's diabetic. Um, he

101
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 1: has to be on insulin, but there are ways for

102
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,560
Speaker 1: him to kind of reduce um the symptoms of diabetes.

103
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,279
Speaker 1: If he changes his diet if he walks every day.

104
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,320
Speaker 1: Things that I've been telling him for years before we

105
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,480
Speaker 1: get to this point, Sokenina and I fly into New

106
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,240
Speaker 1: York because I'm I don't play when it comes to

107
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:47,000
Speaker 1: my parents, like I'm gonna come see you, I'm gonna

108
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,560
Speaker 1: I have to physically touch you to know that you're okay.

109
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,680
Speaker 1: So I get there and this is the first time

110
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:55,359
Speaker 1: ever in my life. My father is upstairs in the room.

111
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,600
Speaker 1: He says he's feeling better. So it's just me and him,

112
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,600
Speaker 1: kick everybody out the room. I said, bro why, why

113
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,400
Speaker 1: when you go through health stuff you don't say anything

114
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:08,039
Speaker 1: to anybody? And he broke down, started crying to me

115
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,320
Speaker 1: and said he didn't want me to be mad at him,

116
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:15,040
Speaker 1: because he's been telling me for a decade, Like I've

117
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,680
Speaker 1: been telling him for a decade that he has to

118
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,240
Speaker 1: eat healthier or we're gonna get to this point. So

119
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,960
Speaker 1: he broke down and started crying and then started telling

120
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,040
Speaker 1: me all the things the doctor. But he said to

121
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,760
Speaker 1: me for the first time ever that he was scared.

122
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,520
Speaker 1: He looked up. He was not he was in on

123
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,400
Speaker 1: the gurney. He looked up and there was a mirror

124
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:37,720
Speaker 1: above him, and he said that he looked like my grandfather.

125
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,480
Speaker 1: And my grandfather passed away of c O p D

126
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:47,040
Speaker 1: in two thousand and eighteen two. He passed away from

127
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:51,839
Speaker 1: cp D. And I remember looking at my grandfather and

128
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,560
Speaker 1: remember we had to rush into the hospital one day

129
00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:56,040
Speaker 1: and the E. M. S came and said, hey, do

130
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,599
Speaker 1: you have any pre existing conditions? And my grandfather said,

131
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,640
Speaker 1: if you name it, I at it. And my father

132
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,039
Speaker 1: said he looked up and he saw his father. His

133
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,240
Speaker 1: face was drawn, he looked old, and he got scared.

134
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,360
Speaker 1: When I was having surgery for hernia nine years old,

135
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,320
Speaker 1: my father told me song seven, The Lord is my life,

136
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,040
Speaker 1: my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the

137
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,520
Speaker 1: stronghold of my life? Of whom shall I be afraid?

138
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,600
Speaker 1: I have a tattooed on my arm. And I've never

139
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,200
Speaker 1: been afraid of things because my father taught me not

140
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:30,280
Speaker 1: to be afraid. To watch my father be afraid shook me.

141
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:37,080
Speaker 1: It shook me. This song that I'm gonna sing now

142
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:43,320
Speaker 1: is um dedicated to all of the black men, because

143
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:48,280
Speaker 1: talking about black men's health, who are making a decision

144
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,280
Speaker 1: to put their health first, and how powerful we can

145
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,440
Speaker 1: be as leaders of a community if we finally start

146
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,880
Speaker 1: putting ourselves for a thing about my dad is kind

147
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,680
Speaker 1: of getting me like, no, I know, your father be

148
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,080
Speaker 1: a superhero. You don't ever want to think about anything

149
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:09,480
Speaker 1: happened to your pops. But ah. The song is dedicated

150
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,320
Speaker 1: to all of the men who are are putting their

151
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,880
Speaker 1: health first to be there for their families, their coworkers. Uh.

152
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:19,280
Speaker 1: I know Triple hates when I clap, so I'm gonna

153
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:34,400
Speaker 1: try not to clap. Okay home home, Hey, hey, hey,

154
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 1: I'm living in the twenty one century. Doing something mean

155
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,560
Speaker 1: to it? Do it better than anybody you've ever seen

156
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,600
Speaker 1: do with screen from the haters. Got a nice ring

157
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 1: to it. I guess every superhero needs this thing music.

158
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,959
Speaker 1: No one man all that power, the clocks ticking. I

159
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,640
Speaker 1: just count the hour was stopped tripping and tripping off

160
00:08:54,760 --> 00:09:02,360
Speaker 1: the power one century something something something. But um, that's

161
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,240
Speaker 1: just what it means. You take your power into your

162
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,680
Speaker 1: hands when you decide that you're gonna put your health

163
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:11,560
Speaker 1: first so you can be here for the people that matters.

164
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 1: Your wives, your mom's, your daughters, your your brothers, your sons,

165
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,520
Speaker 1: your business partners, and for yourself. You know, so no

166
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,720
Speaker 1: one man should have all that power. But I hope

167
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,600
Speaker 1: all of us get the power to finally sit down

168
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:26,240
Speaker 1: and say I want to be better so I can

169
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,719
Speaker 1: be here. That's a good place to break piece of

170
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,880
Speaker 1: bills and will come back the story of time and

171
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,439
Speaker 1: get into the meeting of our show with our special

172
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:41,760
Speaker 1: guest today. Oh man, that story time, It does it

173
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,800
Speaker 1: to me to all the time because I think about it.

174
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,559
Speaker 1: I've known your dad for almost twenty years now, and

175
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,240
Speaker 1: he's pretty much just like a second dad to me.

176
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,720
Speaker 1: So that was a scary time, I think for all

177
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,959
Speaker 1: of us um and if it did nothing more than anything,

178
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:02,880
Speaker 1: it just really made us value more so checking on

179
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,440
Speaker 1: each other, making sure each other is okay, not taking

180
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,960
Speaker 1: for granted, not feeling well in a moment, thinking we

181
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,640
Speaker 1: can sleep things off. How many times have we had

182
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:15,120
Speaker 1: this story where someone told us such as such didn't

183
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,280
Speaker 1: feel well, they just went to take a nap, They

184
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,600
Speaker 1: went to sleep this off and then they did not

185
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,560
Speaker 1: wake up. Are too many times. So today we wanted

186
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,600
Speaker 1: to bring in an expert, no one better than Dr

187
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:32,240
Speaker 1: Kelvin Brown, to chat with us more about particularly black

188
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,400
Speaker 1: men's health. The leading cause of death for black men

189
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:41,040
Speaker 1: is heart disease, which is a completely preventable condition. Black

190
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,559
Speaker 1: men's prostate cancer risk is seventy higher than white men,

191
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,000
Speaker 1: and black men between the ages of forty and fifty

192
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,640
Speaker 1: four die by stroke at a rate three times higher

193
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,920
Speaker 1: than their white counterparts. So just being a black man

194
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,679
Speaker 1: in general predisposes you to so much already, not just genetically,

195
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,800
Speaker 1: but environmentally socially. It's not just genetics. I feel like,

196
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,120
Speaker 1: like I said in my sound bite, there's so many

197
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,480
Speaker 1: black men who I just absolutely love to the core,

198
00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:12,400
Speaker 1: and I need to make sure that they're going to

199
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,880
Speaker 1: be around for the long haul. And there's certain things

200
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,120
Speaker 1: that we can we're not in control of, but if

201
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,280
Speaker 1: we can take control of our health, I feel like

202
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,600
Speaker 1: we should start now right because we're trying to do

203
00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:26,840
Speaker 1: this together. Um Systemic racism in medical care goes both ways,

204
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:32,320
Speaker 1: but with an added layer of pride of masculinity. Black

205
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,120
Speaker 1: men suffer far worse than any other racial group with

206
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:38,320
Speaker 1: this in America. So we're gonna talk today and then

207
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:42,160
Speaker 1: go through the facts with Dr Kelvin Brown. He's a surgeon, author,

208
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,319
Speaker 1: bariatric specialist, serial entrepreneur, which we also had shows on

209
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,319
Speaker 1: Entrepreneur to entrepreneurship too, and public health expert who prized

210
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:54,600
Speaker 1: himself on talking or taking a holistic approach to health.

211
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,880
Speaker 1: All right, Dr Calvin Brown, you got quite the resume.

212
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:02,000
Speaker 1: How are you doing well? Thank you so much for

213
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,840
Speaker 1: having me. I look forward to it, and this is

214
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,640
Speaker 1: something that's extremely important to us, especially considering you know

215
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,200
Speaker 1: what I just spoke about the story time my father

216
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,319
Speaker 1: about a year ago, was rushed to the hospital. Um,

217
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,920
Speaker 1: he found out at that point that he was diabetic.

218
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,880
Speaker 1: His A one C was through the roof. I think

219
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,559
Speaker 1: it was like seventeen. UM. His sugar was extremely high. Um,

220
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,199
Speaker 1: he was on the verge of of going into a coma,

221
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:29,360
Speaker 1: a sugar coma. And he found out because my mom

222
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,960
Speaker 1: pretty much called me and said, hey, you know, my

223
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,800
Speaker 1: brother called me and said, you know, your dad's not

224
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,040
Speaker 1: feeling good. You need to call him. And in our

225
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 1: house growing up, my father hated doctors. So my father

226
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,960
Speaker 1: is the type of person that would be like, if

227
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,120
Speaker 1: I just sleep and drink some water, I'll be fine.

228
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,439
Speaker 1: And um, I called my I called my pops this day.

229
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,040
Speaker 1: He didn't sound good. I looked at him and his

230
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,880
Speaker 1: face was all drawn. I called my mom, I said, Mom,

231
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,920
Speaker 1: what''s going on? Like, what's going on? And she was

232
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,680
Speaker 1: telling me that he wasn't feeling well. Then they rushed

233
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,440
Speaker 1: into the hospital, UH, and they found out that he

234
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,280
Speaker 1: was pretty diabetic and he had got to get it

235
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,320
Speaker 1: under control or else he wouldn't have made it through week.

236
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,319
Speaker 1: So that is like a microcosm of what black men's

237
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:09,360
Speaker 1: health is. You know, no you, I mean you said

238
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:14,200
Speaker 1: a books worth in that one example, UH is started

239
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,640
Speaker 1: with codeine. What she said, we have the worst UH

240
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:22,000
Speaker 1: numbers when it comes to any group compared across racists

241
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,880
Speaker 1: and genders. So it's very relevant. But when you mentioned

242
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:30,000
Speaker 1: as far as not wanting to go to the doctor's men,

243
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,720
Speaker 1: that is so true. When I was actively doing surgery.

244
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,240
Speaker 1: One of the things I realized with regard to that

245
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:40,680
Speaker 1: if you find a guy in the emergency room at night,

246
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,760
Speaker 1: you better believe something wrong with guys. Guys will not

247
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,280
Speaker 1: go to the hospital. And that also touches on something

248
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,880
Speaker 1: else though UM research has shown that if a guy

249
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,640
Speaker 1: is married, UH, they live longer and they present so

250
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,680
Speaker 1: much sooner to the doctor because that significant other spouse

251
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,840
Speaker 1: UH in that pers life. So you touched on that,

252
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,000
Speaker 1: and then you touched on diabetes. Not only do we

253
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,440
Speaker 1: have the worst numbers and the worst life expectancy speaking

254
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:15,280
Speaker 1: about black men, we also have the worst statistics with

255
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:20,040
Speaker 1: individual conditions, including diabetes UM. And that goes for how

256
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,080
Speaker 1: blood pressure and all the other numbers. So in that

257
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:27,800
Speaker 1: one microcosm of an example, you said a mouthful mouthful

258
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,160
Speaker 1: that we could really speak on for let me let

259
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,560
Speaker 1: me ask a question when sorry, but when it comes

260
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,520
Speaker 1: to diabetes UM. Because Kadia and I have discussed this

261
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 1: a lot, I feel like you can't like, diabetes isn't

262
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,520
Speaker 1: something that's so hereditary that it's like what my father had, it,

263
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 1: I have, I'm gonna have it. I feel like it's

264
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,760
Speaker 1: something that you can work around if you eat, probably

265
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:49,000
Speaker 1: if you diet, and if you focus on living a

266
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,920
Speaker 1: fairly healthy lifestyle. In my correct it's something that's not

267
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,520
Speaker 1: necessarily genetic, but more so hereditary because of the lifestyle

268
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,960
Speaker 1: your fanis lives. No, you're absolutely right, and it's like

269
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,520
Speaker 1: the nature versus nurture And with all conditions, there's a

270
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:08,200
Speaker 1: small component of genetics that predisposes one to certain things,

271
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 1: but it's the other things that a lot of people

272
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:14,000
Speaker 1: fail to realize, and it goes to goes towards the eating,

273
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:20,120
Speaker 1: it goes towards um rest and sleep, exercise. It also

274
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,320
Speaker 1: goes towards stress. And when we start talking about stress,

275
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:28,680
Speaker 1: we start talking about racism, discrimination, starts talking about the

276
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,880
Speaker 1: economy and financials and so forth. So as you start

277
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:37,400
Speaker 1: talking about socio determinants and sociodemographic contributors to the condition,

278
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,720
Speaker 1: a lot of people think that health and naively think

279
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,160
Speaker 1: that health is related to just eating and fitness. And

280
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,040
Speaker 1: I like to equate this to sort of a mixer.

281
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,400
Speaker 1: This just imagine Dr Dre at the superpow right, just

282
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,120
Speaker 1: with that big mixer with all the different keys and

283
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,280
Speaker 1: so forth. That's how our health is. There's a lot

284
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,920
Speaker 1: of components that we can adjust on a day to

285
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 1: day basis, on a decision to decision basis that will

286
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:06,400
Speaker 1: affect our risk profile and if we ultimately develop certain

287
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:15,240
Speaker 1: conditions and so all that plays until factors for our social, financial, emotional, stress, nutrition,

288
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 1: and the list goes on its own. So one of

289
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,080
Speaker 1: the things that we can do that's very that's very

290
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,120
Speaker 1: noteworthy here is sort of shine the light on those

291
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,880
Speaker 1: things that people overlook on a day to day basis

292
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,960
Speaker 1: that can impact one's help. So I guess if you

293
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 1: were to deduce other than pride being one of the

294
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,480
Speaker 1: reasons why black men may not go to the doctor

295
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 1: regularly or may feel a certain kind of way and

296
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,400
Speaker 1: not want to go UM, other than pride, have you

297
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,880
Speaker 1: desused any other reasons why men are not or black

298
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 1: men specifically are not as proactive about their health care

299
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 1: in general? Absolutely? UH. It sort of speaks to their

300
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 1: UH lifestyle, their quality of life. It speaks to their

301
00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:01,000
Speaker 1: education level, because the education level determines what jobs they get.

302
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,360
Speaker 1: If they get a job, it also impacts their UH

303
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 1: proclivity or or possibility of committing crimes and getting incarcerated,

304
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,879
Speaker 1: which also infects that UM. It determines if you have

305
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:18,440
Speaker 1: health insurance. It determines the quality. It determines the quality

306
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,359
Speaker 1: of health insurance. And then once you get insurance, it

307
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:26,120
Speaker 1: also determines your availability to a certain provider. Now, once

308
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 1: you do have access to all of those things, what

309
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,000
Speaker 1: type of provider do you have access to? And do

310
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,640
Speaker 1: you feel comfortable with that provider? And so it keeps

311
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,000
Speaker 1: going on and on and so it's a it's a

312
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,600
Speaker 1: cascading effect, and it's very comprehensive and a lot of people.

313
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 1: Don't want to say a systemic, but it is based

314
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,480
Speaker 1: on where you live. It also determines on the school's education,

315
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 1: the jobs, and who you surround yourself wealth with from

316
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 1: a social standpoint UM, and so it talks about that

317
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,959
Speaker 1: UH as well as the resources that you have, not

318
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,439
Speaker 1: only physical resources, but human resources, people who will speak

319
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 1: certain things until you So it's a big movement, especially

320
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,120
Speaker 1: in our community and our culture with regard to financial literacy,

321
00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:12,000
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm so happy to see it across social media.

322
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:17,120
Speaker 1: But equally important, there's health literacy UH. And we need

323
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 1: to do these two things hand in hand. And one

324
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,000
Speaker 1: of the things that I touched on, or that I

325
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 1: really focused on maybe about twelve or fourteen years ago,

326
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,160
Speaker 1: was making sure that we don't achieve the success that

327
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 1: perhaps I have, that you all have and so many

328
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:35,120
Speaker 1: others are getting through financial literacy, but we we then

329
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 1: reach a point where we can become even more impactful

330
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,879
Speaker 1: for even longer periods of time. And one of the

331
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 1: things that the pandemic UH really made absolutely clear, especially

332
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,439
Speaker 1: to me but hopefully to everyone else, is that we

333
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,879
Speaker 1: cannot do anything without good health. We cannot. For the

334
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 1: first time ever, we saw that. We saw the entire

335
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,120
Speaker 1: world shut down. I don't care if you had millions

336
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 1: or billions or big coins. We were all we hold

337
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:05,159
Speaker 1: in the backyard doing absolutely not absolutely doing nothing. So

338
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,159
Speaker 1: so without without good health, I mean, there is no

339
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,880
Speaker 1: financial there is nothing else. So we have to do

340
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 1: both of these things, especially in our community and especially

341
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:19,400
Speaker 1: with black men, in parallel health literacy, financial literacy, as

342
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 1: well as going across the entire uh mixer quote unquote

343
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:27,720
Speaker 1: the analogy and tackling the mental health, the emotional health,

344
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:31,359
Speaker 1: and so forth. Uh and go from there. Yeah, I

345
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 1: want to I want to touch on something you you

346
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 1: spoke about because Kadina and I actually went through this

347
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 1: when I retired from the NFL um in two thousand

348
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,719
Speaker 1: and nine. We were in our mid twenties and one

349
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 1: of the big issues we had at that time was

350
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 1: health insurance because the NFL wasn't carrying our health and

351
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,679
Speaker 1: NFL drops you when they when they cut you, they

352
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 1: don't carry you on health insurance anymore. And my wife

353
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,480
Speaker 1: at the time was working freelances and makeup artists, and

354
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 1: she went on full time for the sole purpose of

355
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 1: getting us health insurance. But at that moment, I realized

356
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 1: there are a ton of Americans who are struggling, especially

357
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 1: Black Americans who live at or below the poverty line,

358
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 1: with getting proper health insurance. And can you talk a

359
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 1: little bit to our viewers about how important it is

360
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,080
Speaker 1: to have health insurance because I have a lot of

361
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 1: younger men that I mentor and they elect to be

362
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 1: employees so they can make more money up front, and

363
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 1: they'll sacrifice the health insurance because they think, oh, me

364
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 1: in my twenties, I don't need health insurance until you do,

365
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So can you talk a

366
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 1: little bit about how important it is to get a

367
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 1: proper health insurance. It's extremely important to get uh, the

368
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:37,879
Speaker 1: right health insurance. At the same time, health insurance as

369
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 1: as an industry is so complex, so complicated. Uh, and

370
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 1: that's one of the things that I'm trying to help

371
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: out with the new company I formed. But to go

372
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,360
Speaker 1: back to the insurance before I answered that question specifically,

373
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 1: two things. One, when I was in surgery residency at

374
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 1: Emory during rotations at rady Um with trauma, UH, the

375
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 1: emergency rooms were full of people I mean out in

376
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 1: the hallways waiting for a room and so forth. It

377
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 1: will surprise you a lot of those people. They worked

378
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 1: at Georgia Power, they worked at Coca Cola, they had

379
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 1: jobs and so forth. So I say all of that

380
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: to say this is that even with insurance, if you

381
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 1: don't know how to navigate the health care system and

382
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 1: have the right advice, um, sometimes you'll have problems. The

383
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 1: second thing is I have a mentor. When I was

384
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: doing I got my master's in public health degree and

385
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 1: one of my mentors she was a professor, and she

386
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 1: was a medical director doctor as well. Matter of fact,

387
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: her entire family are medical doctors. I mean the entire family.

388
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 1: And this is UH African American female with a tenured

389
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: present UH professorship at Emory. But she had the hardest

390
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: time with insurance from an academic institution as a medical doctor,

391
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 1: navigating healthcare system for her husband, who had who had

392
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 1: who had Alzeimer's. So it's a difficult system. The third

393
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 1: point that I want to bring out and then I

394
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: answer the question, is that when I was doing surgery

395
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 1: and people had insurance, and this was even before Obamacare,

396
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 1: was that this day and age, and you all can

397
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: tell everybody knows as as well as they know the

398
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: gas prices are high right now? Is that even even

399
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 1: with insurance that daring deduct and code pay is incredible

400
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 1: and so and so now people have to buy a

401
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 1: small car or a quarter of a bitcoin just to

402
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: get the dumb uh you know, deductible done so. But

403
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 1: with that said, understanding all of that, you're better off

404
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 1: having insurance. Not having insurance. Uh, it's just the opposite

405
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 1: of having financial literacy. Especially if you're at the age

406
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 1: or you have people in your family who may have

407
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 1: a medical emergency, then it can be totally catastrophic. It

408
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,159
Speaker 1: can wipe you out and so forth. So if you

409
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 1: can get insurance in this day and age, that's one

410
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 1: of the things that a lot of employers are doing

411
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: to offer. But that goes back to what we're talking

412
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 1: about with regard to black men and black men health.

413
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 1: It's the jobs that we can get and what type

414
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 1: of insurance that offers and so forth. And then you

415
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: were fortunate to have, you know, condine to get the insurance.

416
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 1: But that also speaks to relationships and staying in relationships

417
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: and the divorce rate in the community and so forth.

418
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: And so you start seeing like, wow, okay, I just

419
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,199
Speaker 1: got a divorce. I don't have this good job. I'm

420
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 1: all hard times I cannot pay the deductible copay, and

421
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,360
Speaker 1: then I'm not going to go to the emergency room

422
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 1: when I should. I'm gonna make this longer. And that

423
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: goes to another thing. When you start talking about black

424
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 1: men having the worst statistics with regard to life expectancy

425
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: and with each condition, that the next step is that

426
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: when we do get those conditions, we present later, and

427
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 1: we present with more difficult to treat conditions. And so

428
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: uh an example of that is blood pressure. Right now,

429
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: sixty over six black men and women have blood pressure issues.

430
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 1: I see it every day with what I do. Most

431
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: of us are still in denial there. I mean, I

432
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 1: tell people your blood pressure is high. And when when

433
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 1: Black people have high blood pressure, instead of being on

434
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 1: one medication to treat, we normally need to or three.

435
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: So not only do we have these conditions, we have

436
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:35,719
Speaker 1: the environment that increases our risk for these conditions, and

437
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 1: then we have less access to the solutions, and for

438
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: those who have access to the solutions, we get to

439
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 1: them later with more serious conditions. So I have a

440
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 1: question to to a family or a couple like Kadina

441
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 1: and I who we were both independent contractors at the time.

442
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,119
Speaker 1: She decided to go and work full time to get insurance.

443
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,439
Speaker 1: What are some things they need to look at in

444
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: their provider to say, Okay, one, I do have a provider,

445
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 1: but number two, I have a good provider who would

446
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: allow me to have regular doctor visits or dentists visits,

447
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: because that was another thing. We had medical insurance, but

448
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: they didn't cover dental at one point, so we had

449
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: to have a separate insurance for dental. So it just

450
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: seems like for for a lot of young people and

451
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,719
Speaker 1: Kadina and I, we went our twenties, had no idea

452
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 1: about any of this. What what are some things that

453
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 1: we can tell our viewers to look at or listeners

454
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 1: to look at when they're trying to pick the right

455
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 1: insurans to get the most out of the insurance. Here,

456
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 1: what I always tell people is first you have to

457
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 1: look within and that's where the assessment phase come. Who

458
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: are you, what is your family? What is the risk

459
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: profile of yourself and your family? And what do you

460
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:45,199
Speaker 1: need to address that risk? Right, So you have to say, okay,

461
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: I got older or you're getting older, because you know

462
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,160
Speaker 1: the likelihood of getting something major unless it's an accident

463
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: or something like that. Of course, when you're younger, you're

464
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 1: more likely to get into those car accidents, etcetera. As

465
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 1: you get older, you're more likely to get cron conditions

466
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: and so forth. So anyway, you look at your own

467
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 1: risk profile. But then when you look at the insurance,

468
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: you look and see one, uh, of course it's going

469
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: to be paid costs. Can you afford it? That's that's

470
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 1: a rate limiting effect, a rate limiting factor there. So

471
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: once you can afford something, then look within that and say, okay,

472
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: what all does it cover? What doesn't it uh cover?

473
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: Or what does it exclude? And then um, you want

474
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 1: to look and see what providers you have access to,

475
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: which hospitals, which hospitals are close to you? Right now,

476
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 1: you know it's a big war going on with insurance companies,

477
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: and you may want to go personally. I love Emory,

478
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 1: I love Piedmont. I look for those sort of things.

479
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 1: But you gotta say, Okay, where do I want to go,

480
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 1: what's close to me? What do they cover emergency? Um?

481
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: How much is the deductible? And then once I have

482
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 1: a major issue do they do I? Is there a

483
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 1: selling to it? Do I only pay up to or

484
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: if it's a hundred thousand dollar bill, do they make

485
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 1: me continue to pay that bill? So you have to

486
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 1: look at you have to look at those things as well. UM.

487
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 1: And then you have to look and see if family

488
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: is involved, how much is the family doesn't deductible cover everybody, uh, individuals,

489
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 1: But the main thing you have to have us a

490
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: lot of people. You have to you have to get

491
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: referrals from your primary care physician. So if you know someone,

492
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 1: you know someone that you like, UM, then you can

493
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 1: get it. I'm developing, UH. I have a new software

494
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: company and one of the things it touches on this specifically,

495
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 1: and it's gonna do much more so in the future,

496
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 1: and that is how to find healthcare providers easily. And

497
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 1: instead of getting a word of mouth from somebody who

498
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: may like a certain physician, male, female, different gender and

499
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: so forth, you'll be able to look objectively and you'll

500
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: see their entire profile, see their ratings, you'll see their

501
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 1: pricing up front and down the road. Especially with blockchain technology,

502
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: all that stuff would be very transparent, including the insurance

503
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: costs and deductibles. So what we need to do and

504
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 1: what technology is going to help us do is make

505
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 1: this a level plan feel and not just of people

506
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,719
Speaker 1: who are in the know, but anybody can pick up

507
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: the app and everyone can see the exact same information

508
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: and make decisions for themselves and their families. But it's

509
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 1: very complex right now. Uh, it will get more transparent.

510
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: But I just went through the process myself in December,

511
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: and insurance is not like it used to be, you know,

512
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 1: ten years ago and fifteen years ago. The prices are incredible,

513
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: the options are very limited, um and and it's very

514
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 1: hectic for the normal everyday person to navigate. That's absolutely.

515
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: I mean, we just even had some schedule, um an

516
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 1: appointment for one of our sons, and they wouldn't even

517
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: talk about appointment dates, times or anything unless they knew

518
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 1: that the insurance is something that we had and they

519
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: had to call to verify it to make sure that

520
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: they were going to get paid. Because I know there's

521
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: also been the attle between you know, doctors and insurance companies,

522
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 1: and then there's the patient and the doctor and the

523
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: patient in the insurance company, and sometimes it becomes a

524
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: matter of like hot potato, where we're throwing around this

525
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 1: potato with like who deals with this situation or who's

526
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: gonna have the answer or who has to pay for what?

527
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: And that becomes even more discouraging and more frustrating. UM.

528
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: I had a question to UM, say, you're a black

529
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: man who you have insurance? We also know black men

530
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: do not trust the medical profession right, anytime I talked

531
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: to one of my friends about medicine and going to

532
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: the doctor, the first thing they bring up. Everybody knows

533
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 1: is the Tuskegee experiment. You know, I can't trust the government,

534
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: I don't trust doctors if you go to UM. How

535
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 1: do we educate our community so that they can be

536
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: more trusting of the science and trusting of medical professionals,

537
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: Because as a former pro athlete, I've learned to trust

538
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 1: the science and trust medical professionals because that's you know,

539
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 1: when your body is your business, you invest a lot

540
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 1: of time and energy and being the best version of yourself.

541
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: But a lot of people who don't have an opportunity

542
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: to be in front of good doctors don't trust doctors.

543
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 1: How do we how do we eliminate that that stigma

544
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: that black men cannot trust doctors. I'm telling you, I

545
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 1: have goose bumps, to be honest with you, because it's

546
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: such a difficult issue. It's gonna start, to be honest

547
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 1: with you, a comprehensive strategic plan where different groups from

548
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: all walks of life come together and say, how do

549
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 1: we address all of these different things and do them together?

550
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 1: Right now? Especially in the Black community and our culture,

551
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: we're so divided, especially when it comes to medicine, because

552
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: we have that foundation and that faith, and I'm I'm

553
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 1: very I'm very I really have a lot of faith,

554
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 1: and I believe in God and so forth, and I

555
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 1: believe I work for Him. But we're so quick in

556
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 1: our we work, so we're so quick in our community

557
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: to say, forget the doctors. I'm putting everything in God's

558
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: you know, God, God, God, and and and and and

559
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: it is not listening to medicine and so forth. And

560
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: that messaging or what it is determined aby who controls

561
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 1: the messaging with social media and you alls platform and

562
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: other people with platforms that are like yours or they

563
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 1: may have different messaging. Uh, it's very contradictory, and it's

564
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 1: not clear for the masses. For the masses, I mean,

565
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 1: I can I can get off of your platform and

566
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 1: I can go onto another platform and that platform is saying,

567
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: you know, doctors are bad. Uh, this whole COVID thing,

568
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 1: you know, it's so divisive with mask and c d

569
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 1: C and all this other stuff. So you've got half

570
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: the platforms out there bad mouth and people like Dr

571
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: Fauci and doctors and so forth, and other half you know,

572
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: saying whatever, that is not helping the situation, and that

573
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: that messaging doesn't help us as a people who are

574
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 1: already suffering. So if you expect other platforms, other people,

575
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: different colors and so forth to help with that message,

576
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 1: well that's not going to happen. And so so we

577
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: have to come across and say, okay, what are we

578
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: gonna say? What what do we need to do and

579
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 1: have good people with the messaging, no quacks and all

580
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 1: this other stuff come out and do this. But but

581
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: we but we need a solid plan from entertainers to

582
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 1: entrepreneurs to everyday people coming together and say, what is

583
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 1: our messaging around healthcare, what do we expect from health care,

584
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: what do we demand from healthcare? And how we should

585
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: we respond to that good health care and get more

586
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 1: people talking about black men's health, women's health and so forth. Um,

587
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: and just as much as with health literacy and understanding

588
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: that we all work together. I'll give you another example.

589
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: This guy is very prominent here in Atlanta. I'm not

590
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 1: gonna say his name. Um. I was called to the

591
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 1: UH to an Atlanta Hawks game where they were going

592
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: to be at and I was giving him some healthy

593
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 1: injections and so forth. And he's going through a weight

594
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 1: loss journey himself right now. But the first thing he

595
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: said when he came out from the v I P

596
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 1: area was like, you know, I don't believe in the

597
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: government stuff, or I don't believe in this and that.

598
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 1: So this is a high profile, very influential person within

599
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: our community, and the first thing he said to me,

600
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: without knowing me at all, was that he doesn't trust

601
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: you know, the government and doesn't trust this and that.

602
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: But that's what we're fighting with. And that's the difficult part. Um.

603
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 1: You know. The thing is, though, is that people say that,

604
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: but when it when he gets very serious unfortunately with

605
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: cancer and in the hospital and in testsive care unit,

606
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 1: the trust goes, what can you do? Please help me,

607
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: Please help me. It's a it's a different story there.

608
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: But as long as long as you're out on the

609
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: streets and you're driving, and you're drinking, and you're eating

610
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: and so forth. It's a it's another story. But what

611
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: we gotta do is have people And this is what

612
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 1: I try to do, and I call this a ministry.

613
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: I try to get people to hit a rock bottom

614
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 1: before they actually hit rock bottom. That's the that's the

615
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,479
Speaker 1: thing that we have to do, is that you don't

616
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 1: have to hit rock bottom and be in the emergency room,

617
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: be sick, have cancer or whatever. How can we communicate

618
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 1: that this is enough? Life can be so much better

619
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 1: than here. But that's all with messaging and the medical

620
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: community community cannot do that. Uh, the government cannot do that.

621
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, what are we telling ourselves and what

622
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: is the long term effect on us, our race, and

623
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: our future because we're slowly becoming extinct, right, and so

624
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: we have to address black men's health, women's health, family health,

625
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 1: financial health, all this other stuff for the sake of

626
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 1: our survival. So that's that's a that's a tough question.

627
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 1: But as the answer, that's going to require a lot

628
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 1: of people, uh coming together, and that's the challenge before

629
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: our culture, our community, and our people, can we stop,

630
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: you know, with this divisiveness because it's not serving us

631
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: at all. You know, you touched on a little bit

632
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: um people feeling like, oh, you know, I can just

633
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 1: pray this away and whatever this situation is and I

634
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 1: won't have to see a doctor I have to take medication. Um.

635
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 1: And I think that kind of is a good segue

636
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 1: to talk about the holistic approach to healthcare because we

637
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: had a friend who UM lost his stepmother, UM, young

638
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: woman forty two years old too. They believe it was

639
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 1: a heart attack and literally just out of nowhere. And

640
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:39,840
Speaker 1: this was someone who exercised. I think she was peskeyterian,

641
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 1: you know, she was checking all those boxes that we

642
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 1: have of like the perfect health or what you can

643
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,760
Speaker 1: do to make sure that your health and fitness journey

644
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: is on point. So for someone like that to just

645
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 1: completely just drop dead out of nowhere, it was the

646
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 1: biggest shock. And we learned that she apparently was diagnosed

647
00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: with high blood pressure but did not want to take

648
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 1: the medication and said she was taking a holistic approach

649
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: to medicine by whatever herbal supplements and things like that,

650
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: UM that she was taking. So with that being said, UM,

651
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: what exactly does it mean to have the holistic approach

652
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: to your health, and um, what can black men do

653
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 1: to apply this to their health? Yeah, first, let me

654
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: I hate to hear that this unfortunate story. A matter

655
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: of fact, it goes back, especially when you start speaking

656
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 1: of black men's health. Um, it's it's a shame that

657
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 1: our life expectancy at birth it's only sixty eight years

658
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 1: of age, which is ridiculous. You know, every time you

659
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: every time you turn on um, social media or television,

660
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 1: you find other races, other genders and so forth living

661
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 1: into the eighties and nineties, and then we always have

662
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: you know, some legend on it, you know, six and

663
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: sixty eight and it shouldn't be that. Um yeah, and right,

664
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: fifties and forties and so forth. Um, but from a

665
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 1: holistic stamp. Before I say about the holistic, if you

666
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: have a medical condition, I tell people it's nothing wrong

667
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 1: with temporarily been on medication to to stop the risk

668
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 1: profile and to help the other process and so forth.

669
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: Do not being denialed and say Okay, I'm gonna treat

670
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: this differently. I'm gonna know as long as it helps,

671
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 1: and you look at the different profiles and so forth,

672
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 1: do what you have to do. And then work on

673
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: these things as well. We don't get enough rest. Um,

674
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: and that's one of the fears that I have with

675
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 1: regard to, you know, the health of the financial literacy.

676
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 1: Everybody is trying to be a boss. Everybody is trying

677
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 1: to make money, and you know that messaging. You know,

678
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: you have time to sleep later, you know, more hours

679
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 1: putting it right, right, But you have to get the

680
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: right amount of sleep. The lack of sleep, uh, contributes

681
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 1: to the disease process. When you sleep, people don't realize

682
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: that the body actually heals itself, It releases certain hormones

683
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 1: and so forth. So even if it's not consecutive hours.

684
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,879
Speaker 1: But trying to get in that quality seven or eight

685
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 1: hours of sleep, and with this day and age, uh,

686
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: more so than ever. Uh, mental health is real big.

687
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 1: Anxiety is huge, UH, depression is big, and so the

688
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: ability to sleep and have quality sleep is becoming more

689
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 1: and more difficult. But you need to sleep. You need

690
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:24,720
Speaker 1: to drink water. You know, the body is made mostly

691
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 1: off water. UH, and without having that, you know, that's

692
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: when the disease processes happen. That's when you have genetic

693
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: alterations that lead to cancer and so forth. So you

694
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: need the right amount of water, you need, the right

695
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 1: amount of sleep, and then stress. I cannot emphasize this enough.

696
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: I talked to roughly. I mean, over the past teen years,

697
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 1: I've had a conversation like we're having right now with

698
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,800
Speaker 1: over three hundred thousand people. I see maybe a hundred

699
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,280
Speaker 1: people a day, and I talk with people and so forth.

700
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: But I can now I'm so in tune with it.

701
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 1: It's in the body language, it's in their faith, facial

702
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 1: expressions and so forth. It's a lot of stress out there.

703
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 1: Social media is not It is not helping at all

704
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: in my opinion. But we have to deal with stress

705
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 1: through proper nutrition, through rest, through getting in contact with nature,

706
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 1: with taking social media breaks, turning off all the notifications

707
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 1: and all this other stuff. But anyway, we have to

708
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: deal with stress, right and so and so stress is

709
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 1: contributing to that solid killer high blood pressure, and it's

710
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 1: also contributing to weight loss. When the body is under stress,

711
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: it causes the body's cortisol levels to go up, which

712
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 1: is very similar to being on steroids. And if you

713
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 1: know anything about being on steroids from asthma or something

714
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 1: like that, it's hard to lose weight from steroids. In fact,

715
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 1: most people gain weight. So anyway, stress is absolutely huge.

716
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 1: And then of course we have to tackle eating, and

717
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,720
Speaker 1: eating is complex. A lot of people you know saying

718
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 1: I a matter of fact, I have not met a

719
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: person who've come to me has said I don't eat

720
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 1: right and they all eat pork right. And so I've

721
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: been doing this for I don't know, fourteen years or

722
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 1: so forth. But the eating is complex. It's not only

723
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 1: what you eat, is how much you eat, what time

724
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: you eat, um, And then all those other factors. And

725
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: then the last piece from a whole listening standpoint that

726
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,720
Speaker 1: the five things that have people remember the last pieces,

727
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: the fitness part. We have to incorporate that and you

728
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:24,360
Speaker 1: all stay fit, the kids you have beautiful, thank you,

729
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: And then mentioned it earlier. I love I love your family,

730
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 1: and I think the whole world admires. That's a good thing.

731
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 1: But but, but, but, but but everybody's stuff. You gotta

732
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 1: you gotta work on the fitness and be consistent with that. UM.

733
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: And of course you know the proper if you have

734
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: the proper diet, you know you'll you'll bring in the

735
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 1: vitamins and the minerals and the nutrients. But if you

736
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 1: have a borderline diet or inconsistent diet, do to travel

737
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 1: or do to work or whatever, it's okay to supplement

738
00:40:56,320 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: those with healthy vitamins like vitamin D. I I tell everybody.

739
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: I tell everybody, especially if you're of of color, and

740
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: if you're a little overweight with a body mass index

741
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: or be on my above thirty, and especially during the

742
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 1: winter months, you have a vitamin D deficiency, and so

743
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 1: vitamin D really helps with the immune system, It helps

744
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 1: with the mood, helps with the sleeping, it helps with

745
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 1: your bone health. And then you say, why do I

746
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: need to worry about my bone health now? Then you

747
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: start talking about medical conditions for us in our sixties

748
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,399
Speaker 1: and seventies, and then you say, oh, my goodness, why

749
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,080
Speaker 1: does somebody have a hip problem. Why did they fall

750
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: and have an injury and became debilitating and now they

751
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 1: reach the age of sixty and now they're dying at

752
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 1: the age of sixty five because it changed your life

753
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 1: due to a hip fracture. So all of this just

754
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 1: takes awareness, and it starts as early as possible. And

755
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: the conversations that we have with regard to this, like

756
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 1: I said, I welcome of the financial literacy, but right

757
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 1: there in parallel, we should also be having the health

758
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 1: literacy and the conversations and make our self healthier, our

759
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 1: families healthier, and then our communities. Covin, I'm gonna tell

760
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 1: you why this is important, right, you said two things

761
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 1: to me that kind of made me kind of just

762
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: get shook, right because I already knew from studying a

763
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: bunch of training, different type of training techniques. And they

764
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 1: talked about Navy Seals. Navy Seals put their their cadets

765
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: to I think it's a three day period where they

766
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 1: can't sleep, to show them how sleep deprivation can affect

767
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 1: them when it comes to depression and anxiety. And I

768
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: think this is something over ninety of the Navy Seals

769
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: during that time. Even the once we graduated, when they

770
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: were going through the sleep deprivation cycle, felt uh, some

771
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:41,360
Speaker 1: form of depression and extreme anxiety. Now we're not Navy Seals.

772
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:46,320
Speaker 1: Can you imagine the average person who is team no sleep,

773
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 1: either because they got kids or multiple businesses. They're trying

774
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:50,800
Speaker 1: to do all of this other stuff, you know what

775
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm saying, and stressed because on top of the lack

776
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: of sleep, they put them through stress cycles as well

777
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 1: to see how they respond. But there are people, like

778
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 1: you said, because of socio economic additions, conditions who exist

779
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 1: in the space of no sleep and stress every single day.

780
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 1: And I can think about family members who have gone

781
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 1: through early set Alzheimer's, um hypertension, diabetes, and these are

782
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 1: people who continue to work out and try to eat right.

783
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: But now, when you said it to me, I'm like,

784
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 1: these people didn't sleep and they were super stressed and

785
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 1: made me think about myself. Here, I'm thirty seven. I

786
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 1: try to eat as right as I can. My wife

787
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,839
Speaker 1: gives me vitamins. But there's days where, for example, we're

788
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 1: doing the podcast up early, we're up late at night

789
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: with the baby, and I have all the financially, you know,

790
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 1: stuff that I'm working on. I just don't feel like myself,

791
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 1: and I'm realizing that it could not. It probably has

792
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: nothing to do with me working out and eating. It's

793
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 1: probably just stressing, lack of sleep and and disconnecting because

794
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: you also mentioned just disconnecting from social media, from your phone,

795
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 1: from life, like Devot has not slept sound aside from

796
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,879
Speaker 1: the baby. But there's times when I'm like, Devot, turn

797
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,439
Speaker 1: your phone off, like it can wait. If you want

798
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 1: to just leap a solid six seven, eight hours, take

799
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: advantage of the time to do that, because everything else

800
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: can wait, can wait. I'm literally looking at him over here, period,

801
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: looking at the side of his face, because I'm just like, listen,

802
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 1: Dr Calvin is saying what I've been saying, bro, and

803
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 1: I mean equally. I'm sure you can look at me

804
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 1: and say the same. But we're talking men's health today,

805
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 1: black men's health. So I get it. I get it,

806
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,839
Speaker 1: and I gotta be I gotta be accountable because it's

807
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,280
Speaker 1: important for people to know that you can't you can't

808
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 1: pay your way into good health. So it doesn't matter

809
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:35,879
Speaker 1: how much money you make, you still have to take

810
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: care of yourself. And this message that you said just

811
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 1: now really resonated with me, Like I'm really going to

812
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 1: try to take a lot more time to get some

813
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 1: sleep and not stress myself out things that I can't control.

814
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 1: Let me find ways to meditate. One of my favorite

815
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: ways to relax, Kale tell you is I smoke weed

816
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,920
Speaker 1: at night. Okay, Um, that's like my glass of wine.

817
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 1: You know. I'm really into the holistic approaches and being

818
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 1: in l A for whole year and it being legal word.

819
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 1: I'm not twisting your words, but I will say this

820
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 1: the nice that I smoked, right, and I'm not a

821
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 1: heavy smoke. I don't sit down and roll twelve joints

822
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: in and no, but I have my bond. I'll take

823
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: a couple of puffs in my bond and I do

824
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 1: sleep better. I'll sleep a sound six to seven hours

825
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: when after I've smoked, and I have felt better those

826
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: nights that I sleep. So I don't meditate, but I smoke,

827
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: so that's helping me with stress relief. I do have

828
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 1: to have two things to say. I will get to

829
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: the smoking because I just had a person. I had

830
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 1: a guy who was just referred to me, and he

831
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,800
Speaker 1: came in and I was listening to his heart and

832
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: lungs right, and I could smell the smoke on him,

833
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: and I looked down at his nice pants and he

834
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 1: had a had a hole in him where he dropped

835
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 1: the ashes man he dropped. So so so I do

836
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: I do have an answer to that. But getting back

837
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 1: to the sleep, I wish I could reference specifically the article,

838
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,800
Speaker 1: but an article research article just came out uh saying

839
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,800
Speaker 1: that one bad nights, one bad night of sleep is

840
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 1: equivalent to about three months of poor eating. Um. So

841
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 1: it's it's it's that's significant. So that's that's that's something

842
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 1: to sort of hang your hat on. But getting back

843
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 1: to the smoking. Yeah, getting back to the smoking thing

844
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: and so forth, and a lot of people do it,

845
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,920
Speaker 1: and um, and I don't have anything you know, against it.

846
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: I mean it's more and more coming out, especially medical

847
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 1: use of it and so forth. As long as you

848
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 1: have control, right, um, and as long as you have

849
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,919
Speaker 1: control over it, and it's not leading to other things

850
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 1: where you do drink too much or you you let

851
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 1: your guard down and you start eating the wrong foods

852
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 1: and so forth. Uh, then that can happen, you know.

853
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,359
Speaker 1: And that's what the guy who was here with me,

854
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,240
Speaker 1: he realized that as well. It was when he would

855
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 1: go out and he was an he's an investor. I mean,

856
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 1: this guy makes money. He invests in a lot of

857
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,839
Speaker 1: businesses and so forth. But he said, when he goes out,

858
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: he's at the club, he's in his V I. P. Area,

859
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,720
Speaker 1: they're smoking, they're drinking up a ton, and that's putting

860
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 1: on the calories. And so when he realized that and

861
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,879
Speaker 1: he stopped the alcohol just for a little bit. Uh

862
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 1: just during the month of January dropped eight to ten

863
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 1: pounds just off of that. So you have to realize

864
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 1: what you do with the smoking, what is it? And

865
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: then you have to ask yourself why am I smoking?

866
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 1: Why am I drinking? And that's what we talked about.

867
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of times it's to stress. It's

868
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: something going on in life. You're just trying to be

869
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: trying to just you know, escape from it, and so

870
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 1: you have to you know, address that head on. Otherwise,

871
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: whatever you're trying to escape from, it's just gonna build

872
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: and build and build, and then that's gonna be another problem.

873
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 1: This might have to be a two part podcast question.

874
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: We still got a whole lot of questions, questions, and

875
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 1: we're running out of time, and I'm feeling some kind

876
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: of way, Dr Kelvin. I feel like we're gonna have

877
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 1: to schedule you back in for the next season as

878
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 1: a follow up to this, right, um, But I want

879
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: to definitely, in the meantime, have people do their due diligence,

880
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 1: increase that health literacy that we're talking about, and by

881
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,240
Speaker 1: doing that, I think they should be able to engage

882
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: in your work and you should tell them where they

883
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,879
Speaker 1: can find you online and a couple of the things

884
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,879
Speaker 1: you have going on so people can know that there's

885
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 1: knowledge and information out there, it's accessible and um what

886
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 1: we can look forward to from you. Yeah, on social media,

887
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:34,720
Speaker 1: you can find me on Instagram. My name is Dr

888
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 1: Kelvin Brown Dr k E l v I N. Brown. Um.

889
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,399
Speaker 1: I have the website by the exact same name, Dr

890
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 1: Calvin Brown dot com. And then the company that I'm

891
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 1: really excited about and perhaps you all will look into

892
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 1: it as well, is single System dot com is s

893
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 1: y n C O System dot com and so that's

894
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 1: gonna go live this summer. But it's it's my entire

895
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: life put into this one effort out of all the

896
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,279
Speaker 1: things I've ever learned in public health and medicine, as

897
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 1: a business owner and so forth. It's going to be

898
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 1: powerful and uh, I am so confident that it's going

899
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 1: to change the lives of millions, if not billions here

900
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: in the United States and eventually globally. So you can

901
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 1: look at that. I have a couple of books out,

902
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: but all of that is in the link in my

903
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 1: bio um on Instagram. Dr Calvin Brown. Umard to that

904
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 1: because you were a wealth of knowledge just in this

905
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 1: short time that we've had you. So I can just

906
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: imagine if we can pick your brain over the year's

907
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: worth of work that you have, it's going to be

908
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,879
Speaker 1: quite an extensive catalog to take a look at. So

909
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 1: y'all heard it here, Dr Calvin Brown, We thank you

910
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 1: so much for your time. We'll be sure to have

911
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: you back where we can chat more and do like

912
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,840
Speaker 1: a part two on this right, Yes, sir, and I

913
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 1: want to say to um, I appreciate you because part

914
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,360
Speaker 1: of the lack of trust that we have is that

915
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 1: we don't see too many black male doctors. So as

916
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 1: a black man, when you can go and speak to

917
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 1: someone who looks like you, then you you have a

918
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 1: little bit more comfort because I feel like I'm speaking

919
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:05,839
Speaker 1: to someone who knows my plight. So give you your flowers, sir.

920
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 1: We appreciate you. Dr Kelvin, and you'll definitely be hearing

921
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 1: from us because we're gonna have you back because I

922
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:13,319
Speaker 1: still have more questions. I still have, absolutely and you're

923
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 1: in You're in Atlantis, so we're like close by, you

924
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 1: know what I mean. We're trying to expand our our

925
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,839
Speaker 1: tribe and territory out here, so maybe we should link up,

926
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:23,239
Speaker 1: link up for dinner over a healthy dinner one day,

927
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Absolutely, And like I said,

928
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 1: thank you all so much. I admire you all as

929
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:32,280
Speaker 1: as people. I admire you all as husband and wife

930
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 1: and family and so forth. And you're doing a lot

931
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: of a lot of great things for us as a

932
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: community and as a culture. So thank you for having me.

933
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: I look forward to the next steps. Appreciate Shanke you

934
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 1: so much. Have a good one. All right, one more time,

935
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,800
Speaker 1: let's give it up for Dr Kelvin Brown, who was

936
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 1: a wealth of knowledge here. He knows so much about

937
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 1: health and I'm looking forward I think particularly to his

938
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 1: app that's coming out Cinco, where we can go in

939
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:59,400
Speaker 1: there and just really dissect everything that is that we

940
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:03,279
Speaker 1: need to know about health care, healthcare providers, um and

941
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: just pretty much a place that we can just do

942
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 1: the work in ourselves to figure out, you know, what's

943
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 1: the best route for us to take mentally and health wise,

944
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 1: and trust us. We're not telling you to trust everything,

945
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 1: but at least do your research. I mean, the thing

946
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: Dr Kelvin brought up was the noise in social media, right,

947
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 1: everybody's whatever, whatever the crisis is for that week, everyone

948
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 1: on social media becomes an expert. So many people were

949
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: vaccine experts. Now everyone is experts on foreign policy because

950
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 1: Russia and Ukraine or in the war. So it's like

951
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:37,359
Speaker 1: there's all these experts that live out here. Do your

952
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,399
Speaker 1: due diligence. Uh, listen to people that you trust when

953
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 1: making decisions about your health. Absolutely. All right. Now that's

954
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 1: a quick quick break. Time. We're gonna get into some

955
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: ads and then come back with listening letters. Stay right

956
00:51:48,200 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 1: here all right, Time for a listener letters, and then

957
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,360
Speaker 1: we'll finish out with our moment of truth as we

958
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 1: usually do. Um, and we're going to dive into the

959
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: first letter. You want to go first, babe, All right,

960
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:11,320
Speaker 1: but I go first. Hello, Codeine and Developed. My boyfriend

961
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,120
Speaker 1: and I have been together for four years and we

962
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 1: are both twenty seven years old. In the beginning of

963
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 1: our relationship, we spoke about living together, marriage and having children,

964
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,760
Speaker 1: and the conversation went well and we seem to agree

965
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,279
Speaker 1: on a lot of things. I have brought the conversation

966
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 1: back up because it has been four years and we

967
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 1: are not getting any younger, and I am ready to

968
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:31,479
Speaker 1: take the next step in our relationship, whether it's moving

969
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 1: in together or getting engaged, but he is not. He

970
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 1: would like to wait instead. He is ready to have

971
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 1: a baby because he doesn't want to be an old dad. Now,

972
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 1: mind you, he was he had he already has a

973
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:45,399
Speaker 1: seven year old from a previous relationship. When I asked

974
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,720
Speaker 1: why a baby and not moving in together again engaged,

975
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 1: he said, because I know what it's like to be

976
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,320
Speaker 1: a father. I don't know anything about being a husband

977
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 1: or no anybody in a happy marriage. And I want

978
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 1: to save my money to buy a house. I am

979
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 1: not going to live in an apartment to pay someone

980
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: else's mortgage. He has not. He has not had steady

981
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,840
Speaker 1: work in the past two years. Granted, I am not

982
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: where I want to be yet, but I have consistently

983
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:11,280
Speaker 1: been working and going to school, which I graduate next year. Congratulations.

984
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 1: We have not been in a good space lately, arguing,

985
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:16,360
Speaker 1: not spending much time together, and barely having sex. I

986
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 1: never pictured myself dating, let alone falling in love with

987
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 1: someone with a kid until I met him. I haven't

988
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: felt this way about someone before, and I don't want

989
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 1: to just give up on us. But I don't want

990
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,359
Speaker 1: to continue down this path because right now I am

991
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 1: very unhappy. Please can you give your girl some advice?

992
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:37,480
Speaker 1: This is the first thing. He's already a dad. I

993
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 1: can't even possibly think about planning to bring another life

994
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 1: into the world without steady work like that to me

995
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 1: just does not I just don't. I can't fathom what

996
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 1: that's like. People do it all the time, and they

997
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 1: find ways. Kudos to them, But planning to bring another

998
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,520
Speaker 1: life when you don't have steady work and you already

999
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 1: have another life to take care of, to me, just

1000
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: seems asked backwards. You know, I know we always talk

1001
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 1: about not judging people on this show, and and we

1002
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 1: don't ever want to be judged, but certain things require

1003
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: planning and responsibility. You understand what I'm saying, And for me,

1004
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 1: I don't understand. Unless you plan to co parent together

1005
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 1: and both handle the financial burden, asking someone to have

1006
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,760
Speaker 1: your baby when you can't even take care of yourself,

1007
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 1: to me just seem selfish and in responsive. That's the

1008
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:34,439
Speaker 1: biggest problem this whole scenario here, Yes, exactly, because it's like, okay,

1009
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 1: moving in together, being engaged, being married, all that's cute,

1010
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: But when you're thinking about providing for another life, we're

1011
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 1: already having one, and then there'd be a family of four.

1012
00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 1: She's going to have to be pregnant for nine to

1013
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 1: ten months, and then after the baby comes, there's a

1014
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 1: lot of things that need to get done and taken

1015
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 1: care of. And if he can't contribute financially because he

1016
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 1: doesn't have steady work, and then he can't contribute any

1017
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 1: other way because you're you know your dad, you don't

1018
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 1: you don't breastfeed, or God, for read, something happens to

1019
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 1: her she can't go back to work right away, or

1020
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 1: or you know, something happens to her and he doesn't

1021
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,359
Speaker 1: have insurance, like like as we talked about, like, these

1022
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 1: are things that you need to consider when trying to

1023
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: plan life and bring another life into this world. So absolutely,

1024
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 1: And I think the fear of the unknown seems like

1025
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:21,359
Speaker 1: a little bit for him here too, because he's saying, well,

1026
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,359
Speaker 1: I know, I'm comfortable being a dad, so that's something

1027
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,799
Speaker 1: I'm good at, and if I have another baby, I'll

1028
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 1: be a great dad because I've done this before. But

1029
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 1: not knowing healthy, healthy marriages, or not experiencing or being

1030
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:35,919
Speaker 1: around people who are in healthy marriages, not paying someone

1031
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:38,840
Speaker 1: else's mortgage, I can't agree with that. Moments where we

1032
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 1: felt that way as well too. But but how are

1033
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 1: you going to buy a house you don't have a

1034
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 1: steady job? Right? I was about to say, you see

1035
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, How how are you going to get

1036
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:49,880
Speaker 1: approved for a mortgage? Where where's the down payment going

1037
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: to come from? There are certain things that have to

1038
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 1: happen first in order for you to make the next

1039
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 1: step in life, and I would think that having steady

1040
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 1: work would be the first thing you do, and not

1041
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 1: that life or God or social constructs have created a plan.

1042
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 1: But typically it's you ski a steady job, you meet someone,

1043
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 1: you find out if you love them or like them,

1044
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:14,480
Speaker 1: you get married, you approaches at home. You have a

1045
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,239
Speaker 1: baby so that you can put things in order so

1046
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 1: that you can take care of it. When you just

1047
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 1: jump from not even having a steady job to having

1048
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,919
Speaker 1: a baby, it just seems like all those other things

1049
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 1: in between are just gonna be messed up. Like you said,

1050
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,839
Speaker 1: sometimes it happens, but then it requires just figuring things

1051
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 1: out and scrambling, Whereas if you're consciously going into something

1052
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 1: and making a plan and of course of action, it's

1053
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 1: to say you can't steps in between that you know,

1054
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 1: and then you're saying that you don't know of any

1055
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:39,839
Speaker 1: or him saying that he doesn't know of anyone that

1056
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 1: is in a healthy marriage or relationship. He can know

1057
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:44,320
Speaker 1: a bunch of shitty ass dads doesn't mean he's creating

1058
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 1: shitty ass dad. You have to not let that be

1059
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 1: an indicator as to whether or not you will be

1060
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:51,360
Speaker 1: successful in your marriage, because you've seen shitty ask marriages.

1061
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,520
Speaker 1: Because we see him every day, you know what I mean,

1062
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,840
Speaker 1: And we see unhappy people every day. But it's a

1063
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 1: choice you make every day. Speaking of choices, she said,

1064
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:00,840
Speaker 1: can you give me some advice to to what I think? Mama?

1065
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 1: You have a plan that you want for your life, right,

1066
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 1: and we talk about this all the time. Um, you're

1067
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 1: not obligated to anyone or anyone's idea of what you

1068
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 1: should do or who you should be. So if you

1069
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 1: don't feel comfortable in this situation and it no longer

1070
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 1: serves you, feel free to move on and be proud

1071
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 1: of the strength you have to move on and find

1072
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 1: someone who is like minded enough to go into life

1073
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 1: with the same plan as you. That's the only way

1074
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 1: it works. Like just staying in because of time or

1075
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 1: I really like this person, but it's not going to

1076
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 1: serve you in the long run. So really sit down

1077
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 1: and take inventory of what's important. And if you guys

1078
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 1: can't have conversations to get on the same page, you

1079
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 1: might want to think about moving in another direction. I

1080
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: hope that helps, girl, That helps, al Right, onto the

1081
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 1: second one. I love you guys a lot and your

1082
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 1: content is great. Thank you. I am a twenty two

1083
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 1: year old college female student. I want to know how

1084
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 1: you explored your sexual needs by being a young, godfearing

1085
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: couple in college. We explored I have no one to

1086
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 1: ask because I come from a CULTU were a sexual

1087
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:03,600
Speaker 1: activity of any kind or asking about it is wrong

1088
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 1: capital letters? Okay, girl, same. I want to have wisdom

1089
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 1: about not necessarily wanting to do it. How would you

1090
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 1: advise your boys going to college to go about it?

1091
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 1: What did you guys learn about how to be careful wise,

1092
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 1: mentally healthy young adults all through that process? Love you lots? Yeah, girls,

1093
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:28,960
Speaker 1: So DEVELOP and I were lucky enough that we found

1094
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 1: each other in college, and we were pretty much moronogamous

1095
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 1: in college, but it was you and I. But she said,

1096
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 1: being careful, wise, mentally healthy, young adults, So that's what

1097
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 1: we weren't. We were not, as you'll find out next year,

1098
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:47,160
Speaker 1: were working on a project. We'll talk about that, but

1099
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: some things we're going to save because they're coming out

1100
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,520
Speaker 1: later in terms of stories and whatnot. But we weren't

1101
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:58,080
Speaker 1: necessarily always making the right decisions, the wise decisions because

1102
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:03,160
Speaker 1: we were college throng and love and but we also

1103
00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: came from background similar to her, where your parents didn't

1104
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: talk about sex and my parents, so we figured it

1105
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 1: out with each other on our own, and luckily we

1106
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 1: were able to figure it out just with each other

1107
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,439
Speaker 1: for the most part, Like you know, there weren't many

1108
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 1: outside influences, and we weren't having to deal with like

1109
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 1: too many people in and out of our relationship, and

1110
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 1: you know, we didn't. We didn't. That wasn't us um

1111
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:28,000
Speaker 1: or just having casual sex that people tend to have

1112
00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:30,440
Speaker 1: and stuff nowadays. Two one of us none of the

1113
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:33,520
Speaker 1: respirations into that really, but we both knew, like, for example,

1114
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 1: there were times when we took breaks in college and

1115
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 1: if I wanted to explore something that I always told

1116
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 1: that this is what am I intended to do? And

1117
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 1: in those cases I protected myself right so I was

1118
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 1: mature enough at that point to protect myself. But I

1119
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 1: think that's when what I was going to get at

1120
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:51,160
Speaker 1: too is just the biggest protection thing. Because you said,

1121
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 1: what would you tell what would we tell our boys

1122
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: about in college? You know, Well, the first thing is

1123
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 1: we're going to be transparent with our kids about and

1124
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:00,560
Speaker 1: I'm not waiting to college, you know, I'm already transparent,

1125
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: which because Jackson is going to middle school next year.

1126
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 1: I remember middle school. Middle school is a cesspool, right,

1127
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 1: So people, young kids, you are, but you don't have

1128
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,240
Speaker 1: to be. You really don't have to be. Young kids

1129
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 1: are all looking to explore, and if you come from

1130
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 1: a home where sex is taboo, those are the kids

1131
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 1: who do the most exploring during those times because there's

1132
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 1: no one at home to guide them. So what I

1133
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 1: would do with my boys is, especially Jackson being the oldest,

1134
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 1: is we have open conversations about what sex is, what

1135
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:36,360
Speaker 1: can happen when you have sex, what the feeling is

1136
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 1: like um, and even as much as when you feel

1137
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 1: that energy of that girl over there that I like,

1138
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 1: what type of energy is that? And how do I

1139
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 1: move on that energy? Because it's important for people to

1140
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 1: understand that some of these young boys who don't know

1141
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 1: how to act accordingly have never been taught. And that's

1142
01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 1: part of the problem, right We as males have been

1143
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 1: given the privilege to do whatever we want to do,

1144
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 1: and then it's boys will be boys, but then young

1145
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 1: girls get judged. So for me, it's speaking to my

1146
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:09,080
Speaker 1: boys about that privilege and learning to use discernment when

1147
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,080
Speaker 1: it's time to figure out how I like this girl.

1148
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: She she makes me feel a certain way. What you know,

1149
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,240
Speaker 1: what am I entitled to? Are not entitled to? You

1150
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 1: are entitled to say hello? You know? It was it

1151
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:21,439
Speaker 1: was just as young as Okay, I'm kind of out

1152
01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 1: Jackson a little bit here, and our people in in

1153
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 1: l A shout out to Rob and Courtney. They have

1154
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 1: a beautiful young daughter who's the same age as Jackson,

1155
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 1: and Jackson went by their house and then he came

1156
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 1: home and Robed calls and he's like, man, we got

1157
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,160
Speaker 1: him talking, and I was like, what happened? He was

1158
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 1: just like, you know, I was. I was downstairs, and

1159
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 1: then my oldest son came downstairs and was just like,

1160
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 1: um yo, Jackson got his arm all I get their

1161
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:51,760
Speaker 1: daughter's name. His arm around Aubrey right, and then the

1162
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:53,440
Speaker 1: father was like, Rob, this is my guy. Was just like,

1163
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 1: oh yeah. It's like, so what they doing? They know

1164
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:56,680
Speaker 1: they watched the movie, but he got his all around it.

1165
01:01:56,760 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 1: And this is Aaron. Aaron at was fourteen years old.

1166
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:02,080
Speaker 1: You're not gonna do nothing. You gotta go say something.

1167
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 1: So by the time he got upstairs, Jackson already had

1168
01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:08,520
Speaker 1: his arm from around Aubrey, right. So then Jackson comes home.

1169
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 1: Of course, Jackson being a gentleman, as we talked about,

1170
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:13,480
Speaker 1: when Aubrey came by our house, he walked her to

1171
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 1: the door, made sure she got in the door, said hello,

1172
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,640
Speaker 1: and I came back home. So when Jackson gets back

1173
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:21,600
Speaker 1: home at this in this particular time, because he was

1174
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 1: at their houses this big of time, I said, how

1175
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 1: was everything right? And he's like, everything's fine. I was

1176
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:29,360
Speaker 1: just like, so, m anything happened and he was just

1177
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 1: like looking like no, why. So I was like, so

1178
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 1: I heard that you had your arm around Aubrey. And

1179
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:38,200
Speaker 1: first thing is oh gosh, dad, and he's he's nine

1180
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:40,439
Speaker 1: at this point, he's nine. He's like, oh gosh, come

1181
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:42,120
Speaker 1: on man. I was just like, you're not in trouble,

1182
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 1: like Mr Rob Tomanzo and used to tell me what happened.

1183
01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 1: He's just like, no, I just we're watching the movie.

1184
01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:50,960
Speaker 1: And I was like, can I put my arm around you?

1185
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:53,760
Speaker 1: And I said what she said? She's just like yes.

1186
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 1: I said, so you asked for permission and he was

1187
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:57,320
Speaker 1: like yes I did. I said, but why do you

1188
01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 1: want to put your arm around her? And he was

1189
01:02:58,680 --> 01:03:01,120
Speaker 1: just like, I don't know. When you and mommy watch movies,

1190
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:05,000
Speaker 1: you put your arm around mommy. So like, okay, that's fair.

1191
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 1: And then I said, so then what happened. She's just

1192
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:10,600
Speaker 1: like so after like maybe seconds, she's like, okay, you

1193
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 1: can move your arm now. So I moved. It sounds

1194
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:14,880
Speaker 1: like it was about seconds. He was like, give a

1195
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:16,960
Speaker 1: take to get out of trouble now, and Mrs Robbs

1196
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 1: will be mad now and now. And I said no,

1197
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 1: Mrs Rob's not mad. But you know Aaron saw and

1198
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 1: he looks up to Aaron's like, oh man, Aaron sawts.

1199
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:24,800
Speaker 1: So now Aaron's not gonna like me. I said, no,

1200
01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 1: that's not the case. What happens is is you have

1201
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 1: to learn how to be a gentleman, because that's someone's

1202
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:33,440
Speaker 1: daughter and it's important for them to know that the

1203
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:36,200
Speaker 1: guys they have around their daughters are gentlemen. So you

1204
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 1: did a good job, and you did the right thing.

1205
01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:41,400
Speaker 1: You asked for permission, and when if she ever feels uncomfortable,

1206
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:43,520
Speaker 1: then you do not do whatever it is that makes

1207
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 1: her feel uncomfortable. That type of conversation is going to

1208
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 1: be the same conversation we have as we progress to

1209
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 1: dating and kissing and sex and babies. I'm gonna be

1210
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 1: upfront and honest, and I'm not gonna hold any punches.

1211
01:03:57,840 --> 01:03:59,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let them know what's appropriate and what's in

1212
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 1: appropriate and how they're supposed to move absolutely, but I'm

1213
01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:06,920
Speaker 1: not going to make them feel awkward and guilty about

1214
01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 1: having sexual urges. I'm not going to do that. That's

1215
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:11,720
Speaker 1: where I well, my mother never made me for my

1216
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:13,800
Speaker 1: father never made me feel guilty or awkward or anything.

1217
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,160
Speaker 1: It was just always kind of like an awful limits topic. Like,

1218
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 1: we're just not going to have that conversation because you know,

1219
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:22,160
Speaker 1: immaculate conception. Can you talk? Even though when I look back,

1220
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 1: even though when I look back on my um, I

1221
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: look back at my mom's wedding pictures, I was like, Sis,

1222
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: I was there, but I wasn't there. So I know

1223
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:34,840
Speaker 1: what happened before before you got married. Talk about what

1224
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:38,120
Speaker 1: you said. Can you talk about how your mom um

1225
01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:44,400
Speaker 1: believed that you were a vision up until the night

1226
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 1: before my wedding. I don't know if I talk before that.

1227
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:49,240
Speaker 1: My mom literally bought me. Do you remember the Will

1228
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:53,720
Speaker 1: the Freshman's episode with Will Smith and Um what was

1229
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 1: her name from a living singles? Yes, Um Fields And

1230
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 1: she has on that silk pad padded show the pad

1231
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,880
Speaker 1: roads with like the dangling sequence and lads, and it

1232
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 1: was like floor length. So she got me like this

1233
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:11,400
Speaker 1: night this like nightgown set and then the rope to

1234
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,480
Speaker 1: go with it. And then she was just like, you know,

1235
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:15,880
Speaker 1: this is for your wedding night. So when your husband,

1236
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:18,760
Speaker 1: you know, he addresses you. And I was like, what

1237
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:20,680
Speaker 1: she said, He's going to undress you and he's going

1238
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 1: to consummate the marriage. The marriage. I was like, Sis,

1239
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 1: there's been some kinds of mating going constantly. Listen, the

1240
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:34,400
Speaker 1: consummation was consummating, constant mating, that's what we're doing. It

1241
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:37,800
Speaker 1: was constant mating happening over the eight years that we

1242
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 1: were together. And I was like, and we had this

1243
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 1: conversation like over dinner one day and it was very awkward,

1244
01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:45,080
Speaker 1: and where she was eating steaks, she almost choked. The

1245
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 1: fourth thing, I was about to have to perform the

1246
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:50,800
Speaker 1: hamlet on me, but now I am also I also

1247
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 1: want you, mama to think. We talked to Melissa and

1248
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:59,320
Speaker 1: Kevin Frederick's Kevil on stage, and Melissa talked about how

1249
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:01,920
Speaker 1: she grew up in a church. They always made her,

1250
01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:05,160
Speaker 1: like all the girls feel guilty about sexual urges, and

1251
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:07,320
Speaker 1: then in a way, she didn't even know how to

1252
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:10,320
Speaker 1: be a wife when she got married, because it was

1253
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:13,800
Speaker 1: just like you allow right, you allow men to do

1254
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 1: all listening. Boys will be boys, go out, explore, have

1255
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 1: a good time. But then when it comes to women,

1256
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 1: it save yourself for marriage, don't do this, don't do that.

1257
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 1: But then these men want these women to now be

1258
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:27,520
Speaker 1: their wives and be open sexually, and she's never been open,

1259
01:06:27,560 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 1: she's never explored. She doesn't know what she likes, she

1260
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:32,880
Speaker 1: doesn't know what he likes. She's just afraid because it's

1261
01:06:32,920 --> 01:06:36,479
Speaker 1: been so negative and taboo this whole time. I would

1262
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:40,720
Speaker 1: tell my daughter number one, because it's a very different conversation.

1263
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:43,560
Speaker 1: If I had a daughter, I would tell my daughter

1264
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 1: that having sexual urges is not wrong, and it's normal

1265
01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 1: first and foremost, but you need to speak to your

1266
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:53,440
Speaker 1: mom about the proper way, because I can't man explain

1267
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:55,360
Speaker 1: what it is to be a woman and have urges.

1268
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:59,440
Speaker 1: You need to speak to your mom openly about what

1269
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:01,400
Speaker 1: she did to find out what she likes, what she

1270
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:03,880
Speaker 1: doesn't like, what she approves of, what she doesn't approve of,

1271
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:09,640
Speaker 1: and how she moved safely throughout her exploration process in life.

1272
01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:15,240
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to say that I dodged that bullet,

1273
01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:16,880
Speaker 1: but I know as a mom with boys, I will

1274
01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:20,440
Speaker 1: also be doubling down on the conversation you have from

1275
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:23,560
Speaker 1: a woman's perspective. They deserve to Yeah, they deserve to

1276
01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:25,960
Speaker 1: know as well, at least from a woman's perspective. That

1277
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:29,560
Speaker 1: is so good because because you always think about the

1278
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:31,479
Speaker 1: man explaining with the man, like you know, the boys

1279
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:33,920
Speaker 1: were men explaining to the boys from the man's perspective,

1280
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:36,200
Speaker 1: particularly with sex. But as a woman, I want to

1281
01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:39,000
Speaker 1: make sure that my boys are sound individuals when they

1282
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:42,760
Speaker 1: know how to maneuver with women intimately. You know, I

1283
01:07:42,840 --> 01:07:44,800
Speaker 1: never thought about that because as a father, I said,

1284
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:46,520
Speaker 1: if I had a daughter, I would teach my daughter

1285
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:48,840
Speaker 1: the game and I would tell her all the all

1286
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 1: the things that the guys are looking for and what

1287
01:07:50,960 --> 01:07:54,320
Speaker 1: they might try to do to manipulate you. But also, right,

1288
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:56,040
Speaker 1: there's this that's the same thing. Women do the same

1289
01:07:56,120 --> 01:07:58,480
Speaker 1: thing to men. But I would also tell my daughter, like,

1290
01:07:58,560 --> 01:08:03,160
Speaker 1: if you're looking to be someone's I don't want to

1291
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:05,000
Speaker 1: say wife, because you don't have to be someone's wife

1292
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:07,320
Speaker 1: while you're exploring. But if you know the type of

1293
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 1: guy that you're looking for, you you have to understand

1294
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:12,480
Speaker 1: that there are certain needs that a man has as

1295
01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:15,600
Speaker 1: a woman that if you wanted to be in your

1296
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,720
Speaker 1: power to serve him, be prepared for the same way

1297
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 1: I'm talking to my son's now about you want to

1298
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:24,640
Speaker 1: be somebody's husband. This is what is required to be

1299
01:08:24,800 --> 01:08:27,080
Speaker 1: someone's husband. This is what it entails, if your life,

1300
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:29,800
Speaker 1: if your wife likes this, if sexually she needs this,

1301
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,519
Speaker 1: this is your responsibility as a husband. This is what

1302
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:34,519
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell my boys. I feel like if I

1303
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:37,519
Speaker 1: had a daughter, I would have the same exact conversation. Yep,

1304
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:39,560
Speaker 1: sounds good. Wow, that was like a whole episode. It

1305
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:42,280
Speaker 1: was a listening letter. I'm like, okay, um, all right, y'all.

1306
01:08:42,320 --> 01:08:43,880
Speaker 1: Soo as you can see we're getting into the nitty

1307
01:08:43,880 --> 01:08:46,840
Speaker 1: gritty with these listening letters. So email us while it's hot,

1308
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:50,960
Speaker 1: okay at advice at gmail dot com. That's right, there's

1309
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:52,720
Speaker 1: d E A D A S S A d V

1310
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. All right, moment

1311
01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:58,280
Speaker 1: of truth. Time back to men's health. Um, we're gonna

1312
01:08:58,320 --> 01:09:01,360
Speaker 1: wrap up the episode with a tape away, a tidbit

1313
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:04,320
Speaker 1: something that you felt. Um for me, I think it

1314
01:09:04,400 --> 01:09:07,720
Speaker 1: just rolls back to my sound bite and what I

1315
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:11,880
Speaker 1: spoke about briefly during the episode. Black men, we love

1316
01:09:11,960 --> 01:09:14,360
Speaker 1: you and we want you to be around. There are

1317
01:09:14,439 --> 01:09:19,120
Speaker 1: so many obstacles that the black man has to overcome,

1318
01:09:19,439 --> 01:09:22,120
Speaker 1: deal with, face with on a day to day basis,

1319
01:09:22,360 --> 01:09:27,479
Speaker 1: just living and existing in his skin. Um, socially, you

1320
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:30,200
Speaker 1: know that, I feel like if this is something that

1321
01:09:30,280 --> 01:09:33,439
Speaker 1: we can take into our hands, if we can, as

1322
01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:36,760
Speaker 1: our black women, as we can continue to pour into

1323
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 1: our husbands and into our you know, brothers, and into

1324
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:44,200
Speaker 1: our our cousins and our uncles, the importance of taking

1325
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:46,200
Speaker 1: care of themselves, because this is something that we can

1326
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:51,320
Speaker 1: control to an extent, health care, you know, insurance aside um,

1327
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,080
Speaker 1: do that, like, let's continue to just take care of

1328
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:57,479
Speaker 1: each other while we can, because there's so many things

1329
01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:00,400
Speaker 1: that we can avoid, so many things that can be vented.

1330
01:10:00,479 --> 01:10:03,720
Speaker 1: As we heard from Dr Brown, Um that if we

1331
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:05,599
Speaker 1: just take the time to take care of each other

1332
01:10:05,720 --> 01:10:10,760
Speaker 1: and take care of ourselves, we can probably live longer. Absolutely, Um,

1333
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:13,360
Speaker 1: my moment of truth is simple. This was a moment

1334
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:14,960
Speaker 1: of truth as you were staring into the side of

1335
01:10:15,040 --> 01:10:18,200
Speaker 1: my face because Dr Calvin Brown was talking. But um,

1336
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:25,000
Speaker 1: sleep deprivation and stress are silent killers like carbon monox side.

1337
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:29,439
Speaker 1: So so men, young men, do not let your grind

1338
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:34,040
Speaker 1: be the grim reaper. So you're constantly working team no sleep.

1339
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:35,840
Speaker 1: I gotta get this money. I gotta hustle out of

1340
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:38,519
Speaker 1: out of But it's stressing you out and you're not sleeping.

1341
01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:42,200
Speaker 1: You won't even be able to see and exist and

1342
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:45,240
Speaker 1: enjoy the fruits of your labor if you don't get

1343
01:10:45,320 --> 01:10:48,840
Speaker 1: some sleep and stop stressing that part. All right, y'all

1344
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:52,240
Speaker 1: continue to follow us on social media. Dr Kelvin gave

1345
01:10:52,280 --> 01:10:54,840
Speaker 1: you all of his Dr Calvin Brown, I just say

1346
01:10:54,880 --> 01:10:57,240
Speaker 1: his whole name. Um, he gave you all of his handles.

1347
01:10:57,320 --> 01:10:58,800
Speaker 1: But for us, you know where to find us. That

1348
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:01,880
Speaker 1: as the podcast, Dan I am and I am devout,

1349
01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:04,400
Speaker 1: and if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate,

1350
01:11:04,880 --> 01:11:11,640
Speaker 1: review and subscribe. Dead Ass is a production of I

1351
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:15,240
Speaker 1: Heart Media podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinia and

1352
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:18,479
Speaker 1: Triple Follow the podcast on social media at dead as

1353
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:20,240
Speaker 1: the podcasts and never miss a Thing.