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Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, thank you for listening to Bananas. We just

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Speaker 1: wanted to give you guys a heads up that this

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Speaker 1: episode we recorded just before the pandemic really kicked into

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Speaker 1: gears and everybody went into isolation. So if we seem

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Speaker 1: a little lighthearted about it, we're not taking it lightheartedly anymore.

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Speaker 1: We are very serious about it. Stay in wash your hands,

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Speaker 1: and thank you for listening to Bananas.

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Speaker 2: All right, Scott you ready for this one.

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Speaker 1: I'm so ready for this one.

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Speaker 2: This week I'm Bananas. NASA prepped for alien communication with

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Speaker 2: quote LSD Dolphin sex Experiment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that is that's certainly bananas. Would your

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Speaker 1: mindsillient pieces? Would you be.

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Speaker 2: Bas driving birthday? Welcome to Bananas, ladies and gentlemen. I'm

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Speaker 2: Kurk Brown older hey.

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Speaker 1: And I'm Scottie Landis and this is the silliest little

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Speaker 1: podcast there ever.

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Speaker 2: Was all about strange, fascinating, crazy news. We are here

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Speaker 2: with our very good friend and fantastic comedy writer Albertina Rizzo.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited to talk about stupid shit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you came to the right place.

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Speaker 2: Yes, how did we all we you met Albertina when

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Speaker 2: she started working on Money from Strangers and money from Strangers?

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Speaker 2: How many years ago is that?

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Speaker 3: That was in twenty eleven, right before I quit comedy

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Speaker 3: for a day.

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Speaker 2: I remember this. I remember she was like. It was

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Speaker 2: on a Tuesday. I think you and I had lunch

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Speaker 2: and You're like, I am not doing comedy anymore. I

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Speaker 2: just have tried for so long, I'm going to stop

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Speaker 2: trying to write comedy.

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Speaker 3: And I hadn't tried for so long. I'd literally just

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Speaker 3: been submitting to shows for a year, one year, for

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Speaker 3: one year.

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Speaker 2: Then you were gonna stop completely, that's right. And then

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Speaker 2: on Thursday got a job at the Tonight Show Late Night.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I quick. The Funny Thing is a

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Speaker 3: quick comedy. But nobody knew I was in comedy.

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Speaker 1: Oh please, everybody knew paticularly.

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Speaker 3: I was really just it's like breaking up with someone

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Speaker 3: that you were never dating.

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Speaker 2: At the first place.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know somebody. We all know somebody that did that. Well. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we all worked together on Money from Strangers and occasionally

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Speaker 1: would all wear animal masks when we were type we

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Speaker 1: were young in New York writing a prank show. I

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Speaker 1: don't think any of us like pranks. No, I don't

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Speaker 1: do pranks in life.

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Speaker 2: No, that's right.

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Speaker 1: But for some reason, three sweet people were hired to

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Speaker 1: pull people off the streets of New York City and

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Speaker 1: put them in front of unwitting contestants who then we

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Speaker 1: just ruined their lives for one thousand dollars. Great show.

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Speaker 1: Wish it was still in the air.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 3: I remember that we got a note when we were there.

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Speaker 3: It was like my first writing job, really, and we

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Speaker 3: got a note when we were there to stop making

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Speaker 3: dead dog references, like a note from the higher ups.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no more, no more.

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Speaker 3: Dead dog jokes. And please stop using the word bing bong.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, we used bing bong.

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Speaker 1: And that was.

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Speaker 3: Twenty twenty eleven a hot term.

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Speaker 2: It was a hot term in twenty eleven. I think

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Speaker 2: it's warn it's worn, it's welcome. But god, then back

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Speaker 2: then it was the height of funny.

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Speaker 1: It was.

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Speaker 3: I always tell the story that like, I don't remember

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Speaker 3: any of the pranks quite honestly, and it didn't feel

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Speaker 3: like work at all.

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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 3: But I remember the one thing that I always say, like,

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Speaker 3: you know, cause it's it's it's on my IMDb money

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Speaker 3: from strangers, and when people asked me about it, I

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Speaker 3: was like, there was one prank we had where a

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Speaker 3: guy opens the newspaper this is twenty eleven, okay, opens

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Speaker 3: the newspaper in a crowded coffee shop yep, and and

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Speaker 3: yelled out we have a black president.

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Speaker 1: That was a great one. And then the best part

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Speaker 1: is there was another guy. There was a regular person,

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Speaker 1: regular customer drinking who turned around, open mouth and stared

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Speaker 1: full turn and just goes, oh, yeah, that was That

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Speaker 1: was a great show. That was fun.

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Speaker 3: It's very funny.

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Speaker 1: Tell me more about alien dolphin sex.

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Speaker 2: All right, I'm going to get into it now. This

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Speaker 2: is I feel like I don't know. I feel like

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Speaker 2: I know a large amount about this story. Maybe you

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Speaker 2: guys do. I think there was a radio lab about it,

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Speaker 2: of course, but the details surrounding it are what I

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Speaker 2: did not know. So obviously I'm going to talk about

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Speaker 2: the woman the researcher in the sixties on St. Thomas

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Speaker 2: who lived with who they had an apartment built that

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Speaker 2: was like half flooded so she could live with a dolphin.

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Speaker 2: Do you guys know about this?

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Speaker 1: Wait?

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Speaker 3: Okay, this is okay the shape of water?

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Speaker 2: Wow, So let me back up, let me pull back

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Speaker 2: for a little bit. So Frank he was an American

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Speaker 2: astronomer and astrophysicist. He's the one who like came up

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Speaker 2: with the famous equation estimating how many alien civilizations there

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Speaker 2: are in theory. So he was put in charge. Him

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Speaker 2: and Carl Sagan were put in charge of, like, how

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Speaker 2: what this message we're going to send out into space

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Speaker 2: on a radio transmitter to this very far away star.

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Speaker 2: So they were trying to figure out, like how do

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Speaker 2: you how would we communicate with aliens who don't have

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Speaker 2: any of our you know, similar symbols or reference points

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Speaker 2: or or physical way to make noise. So the way

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Speaker 2: that they did it was they started these multiple programs

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Speaker 2: involving dolphins. One of course was to give dolphins LSD

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Speaker 2: for like long periods of time.

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Speaker 1: Amazing.

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Speaker 2: That turns out they just kind of quiet and they

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Speaker 2: don't do much when they're on acid. Another was they

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Speaker 2: got this woman, Margaret low Low lovat uh tow. They

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Speaker 2: built her a hat like an apartment that's half flooded.

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Speaker 2: She lived with this dolphin and then every day for

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Speaker 2: multiple hours, I would try and teach me like so

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Speaker 2: her job was to be like apple and the and

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Speaker 2: the dolphin would be like wait, quacks, squeak, squak, and

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Speaker 2: like apple and it's all fucking recorded. It's super looney tunes.

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Speaker 1: Cool.

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Speaker 2: But she, of course what did she start doing the dolphins?

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Speaker 2: Aren't it sleeping with the dolphin? Yes, she did.

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Speaker 3: Wait where's the dolphins dick?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 3: True?

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Speaker 1: Oh it got one?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, have you ever seen that video? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. I can't find it anymore. Because my

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Speaker 2: friend Jesse Falcon, who for some reason has just an

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Speaker 2: entree into the Weirdest ship. We should have him on

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Speaker 2: the podcast. He is like the weirdest ship in the world.

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Speaker 2: He showed me this video once, he says, he maailps

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Speaker 2: to be checked this out. I play it was a

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Speaker 2: dolphin trainer. A dolphins swam up, flipped on its back,

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Speaker 2: and then a slip it just opened and this dick

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Speaker 2: comes out, and then he just started sucking the dolphins dick.

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Speaker 2: And then that was the whole video. And I tried

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Speaker 2: to show somebody like the next day, and it had

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Speaker 2: already been taken down.

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Speaker 3: Oh no.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So it's very common because dolphins are very horny, as

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Speaker 2: we all know. Also, the only animal outside of man

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Speaker 2: who has ever perpetrated game gang rape. Yeah, and also

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Speaker 2: masturbates constantly. So she just the dolphin would just wait,

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Speaker 2: they rub up against like rocks and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, it's like I do. I mean, that's the

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Speaker 1: only way.

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Speaker 3: Basically, they had the masturbation skills of like a twelve

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Speaker 3: year old boy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, that's right.

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Speaker 2: So, uh, it was so these the so she says, quote,

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Speaker 2: he was very, very interested in my anatomy. If if

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Speaker 2: I was sitting there with my legs there in the water,

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Speaker 2: he would come up and look at the back of

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Speaker 2: my knee for a long time. He wanted to know

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Speaker 2: how that thing worked. And I was so charmed by it.

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Speaker 2: The charm eventually tipped over into physical intimacy, and, according

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Speaker 2: to a notorious profile published in Hustler magazine, Lovatt took

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Speaker 2: to giving Peter the Dolphin sexual relief whenever he became

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Speaker 2: too sexually aroused to participate in her experiments. And her

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Speaker 2: experiments were teaching dolphin speaking.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so whed the dolphin wanted to bone instead of

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Speaker 4: learn English, she would just give him a hand job

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Speaker 4: and relieve his tension so that they could go on.

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Speaker 2: And she says it was just easier to incorporate that

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Speaker 2: and let it happen. She said, it would just become

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Speaker 2: part of what was going on, like an itch. Just

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Speaker 2: get rid of that scratch and it would be done

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Speaker 2: and move on. It wasn't sexual on my part, she continued, Yep,

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Speaker 2: sensuous perhaps.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So then she stopped cashing her paychecks. They're like,

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Speaker 1: put them in the bank. She's like, I'm getting everything

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Speaker 1: I need.

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Speaker 2: So then Carl Sagan comes down to find out what

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Speaker 2: Frank Drake has been up to. No joke, and he

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Speaker 2: sees what he's been up to is having this women

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Speaker 2: just live with the dolphin and jerk him off every

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Speaker 2: day while try to teach him to talk English. Carl

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Speaker 2: Sega was like, this is not how we're gonna do

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Speaker 2: this and pulls the plug on the experiment. And of

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Speaker 2: course this is a very sad ending that once they

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Speaker 2: were separated. Soon after being separated from Lovat, Peter drowned

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Speaker 2: in an apparent suicide. Dolphins need to surface regularly to breathe.

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Speaker 2: Here to deliberately stay submerged until he's suffocated again. Now

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Speaker 2: this is all be I know that this is true,

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Speaker 2: but I do have to say. All of the things

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Speaker 2: I'm reading are from the Daily Star. Yes, but I

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Speaker 2: know that they're true. And uh, and this was written

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Speaker 2: by Michael Moron. I mean that's maybe it's Michael Moran. Uh,

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Speaker 2: he is again an audience writer. We only get some

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Speaker 2: missions from audience writers.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like the rest of the real I love that.

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Speaker 3: You were like, it's from the Washington Post, but the

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Speaker 3: Post has an H in it, But I think it's legit.

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Speaker 2: P H O s T. Yeah, the H is silent.

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Speaker 2: This is I mean, like, this is my favorite Dolphins

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Speaker 2: story ever. And I have a lot of favorite domhins.

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Speaker 2: You do, Yeah, this is my by far my favorite.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's I mean, has.

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Speaker 2: Anybody ever swam with dolphins?

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Speaker 3: No? See, I don't like I don't need to be

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Speaker 3: in their space.

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Speaker 2: They don't need to.

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Speaker 3: I am a you know, like I just don't want

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Speaker 3: to fuck with Like I don't think I love the

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Speaker 3: idea of man exploring space, but I just think we're

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Speaker 3: like all dogs. We should just do what we're supposed

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Speaker 3: to do, go home. Rest. I don't want to be

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Speaker 3: too underwater or too It's one of the two that

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Speaker 3: like for a reason, we're here for a reason.

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Speaker 2: We're on the ground for a reason.

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Speaker 3: We're on the ground for a reason. We're too stupid

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Speaker 3: to be way deep in the ocean. Don't like I

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Speaker 3: just you know they again, like if you read that

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Speaker 3: they're rapists. But it was hard enough being a woman

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Speaker 3: to begin.

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Speaker 1: With ye yes.

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Speaker 2: So they just have the threat.

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Speaker 3: So the threat of an already doesn't know the word.

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Speaker 2: No, you already have the threat didn't learn human.

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Speaker 1: We tried to teach it. It just wouldn't pay attention.

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Speaker 1: It was just too horny to learn the word no.

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Speaker 1: It couldn't even get two words right. Poor Pete Man.

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Speaker 2: I feel bad for Peter though also very funny name

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Speaker 2: for a dolphin, Peter, Oh, Peter.

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Speaker 3: You know it's like you love the name Brian for birds.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. Ryan. This is something I love that

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Speaker 2: that that Albertina knows me well enough to just know

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Speaker 2: that specifically, my go to name for naming pigeons that

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Speaker 2: I see on the street is Brian Man. Brian's funny.

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Speaker 1: It's true, it really is. I just never wanted to

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Speaker 1: swim with dolphins at all. I never did.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to because it seems rude, like it

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Speaker 2: seems like they're trapped in a pool and then I'm

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Speaker 2: going to come and now they have to entertain me.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's what it is.

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Speaker 3: I mean like and I also, you know, you always

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Speaker 3: see the people who do swim with dolphins just seem

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Speaker 3: very annoying. No offense to anybody that I know that

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Speaker 3: swim with dolphins.

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Speaker 2: You know what, We're trying to build an audience here,

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Speaker 2: and now you're eliminating a huge part of our audience.

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Speaker 3: I think a big part of it is that you

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Speaker 3: can only swim with dolphins if you stay at like

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Speaker 3: a Sandals. I think so since I've never stayed at

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Speaker 3: a Sandals. Yeah, not yet, not yet, although I will

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Speaker 3: say okay, So I went to Keat West and there

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Speaker 3: was a Margaritaville resort.

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Speaker 1: Cool, and I gotta say, oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: A day or two into the trip, I was like,

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Speaker 3: they have something there. There's something, Yes, because everybody seemed

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Speaker 3: very happy. Yes, albeit they were wearing they were all

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Speaker 3: wearing the same type of shorts and type of shirt.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Now are you talking about Timeout, you're talking about Margaritaville

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Speaker 2: the retirement community, or you're talking about Margaritaville where you

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Speaker 2: can go and get food.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, no. This is a resort. M Margarite

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Speaker 3: a resort in Key West. Yes, and you can buy

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Speaker 3: apartments in it. You can you can live there, you

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Speaker 3: can stay there. It's a hotel. A lot of like surfboards,

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Speaker 3: although everybody who stays there should not be surfing cancer.

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Speaker 3: They cancer. They're on death door stuff.

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Speaker 2: They're drunken on death. They're just drinking until they die,

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Speaker 2: that's right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And it's it's like a lot of just like you know,

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Speaker 3: it's a it's a god. They have a word for it.

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Speaker 3: It's it's not it's trap rock.

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Speaker 2: Trap rock that Jimmy Buffett is trap rock.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and everywhere in Key West. I it's one of

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Speaker 3: the reasons that I like it there because it's so uh,

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Speaker 3: it's so corny. It works, you know, it's almost.

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Speaker 2: Like I've always wanted to go.

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Speaker 3: It's almost past the point of of of kind of

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Speaker 3: gross boomer thing. It's just dumb.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like it because it and also it

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Speaker 2: is like Florida times ten. Like Florida times one is

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Speaker 2: kind is like no good, but then Florida times ten

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Speaker 2: is like you're gonna get fucking knocked unconscious. So Florida.

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Speaker 3: It's David Lynch, Yes, Florida. You know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: It's it's because it's all bloodline Florida, That's right. It's

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Speaker 3: also like you know they have it's a weird combination

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Speaker 3: of bikers, retirees, drag queens, and methadicts.

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Speaker 1: I'm in.

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Speaker 2: So it's just I'm in. So it's just like all

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Speaker 2: my favorite people really, I mean, I know, yeah.

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Speaker 3: And you walk around, uh and they shouldn't cohabitate, but

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Speaker 3: they somehow do. I don't know how it and.

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Speaker 2: It makes it weird. There is it's very There's.

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Speaker 1: Like twenty places to eat, twenty restaurants, and so you're

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Speaker 1: just constantly like eating brunch at Blue Monday and it's

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Speaker 1: just biker, boomer drag queen. It's awesome.

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Speaker 2: I want to get there. A comedy club there and

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: I know they don't pay well, but you get to

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Speaker 2: go to to Key West.

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Speaker 3: My favorite thing about Key West though, is that they're

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Speaker 3: known for which is so perfect or known for Sloppy Joe's. Yes,

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Speaker 3: Sloppy Joe's at the Beach is just the est combination

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Speaker 3: of things.

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Speaker 1: I mean, way, his favorite bar was Sloppy Joe's. That

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Speaker 1: was the name of the bar that Hemingway loved. I

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Speaker 1: go to Schooner's Wharf. They'll always overserve you and your

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Speaker 1: toes are in the sand. It's a great place to be.

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Speaker 1: And pet bas I love that.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's that if you can be getting drunk

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Speaker 2: on the beach, because then when you get a little

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Speaker 2: too drunk, you go into the ocean, sober up, you

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Speaker 2: come out until you drowned, until this cycle or pin

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Speaker 2: shows up.

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Speaker 3: Either either way you went, you went.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Peter, his name is Peter. Sorry, give me a story, Scotty.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to change. I'm going to change the

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Speaker 1: whole latitude here. And this is just a fun one.

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Speaker 1: This is from our homeboy, Chris Irvine. Foxnews dot com.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Fox News has the.

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Speaker 1: I think you guys are gonna like this one. Count

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Speaker 1: Bin Face, a self proclaimed self proclaimed quote fearless space

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Speaker 1: warrior who ran against UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson in

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Speaker 1: last year's general election, has announced plans to run for

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Speaker 1: Mayor of London, vowing to quote take out the trash

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Speaker 1: end quote. Benface, who also ran against Theresa May in

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Speaker 1: twenty seventeen election, under the alias Lord Buckethead said he

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Speaker 1: is throwing his quote bin into the ring because the

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Speaker 1: race quote needs shaking up. This is a quote from

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Speaker 1: Count bin Base, again running for Mayor of London. Quote.

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Speaker 1: It's the greatest city on the planet. I call it

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Speaker 1: Earth's capital, Binface told the Press Association as such, it

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Speaker 1: needs people from outside Earth to pay its dues. Don't

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Speaker 1: know what that means. The Mayor of London is a

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Speaker 1: fantastic title in itself, and as someone already who already

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Speaker 1: has a title, it suits me down to the ground.

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Speaker 1: So bin Face set up a GoFundMe page which you

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Speaker 1: can help donate to his cause. And the prospective candidate

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Speaker 1: has already raised sid us dollars. Count bin Face running

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Speaker 1: for mayor.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, I hope it takes off and he gets

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Speaker 2: like a good a lot of money, so you can

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Speaker 2: like start taking out ads.

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Speaker 3: Yea, I'm done with bit bit running for things. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it just turns out to be true. It turns out

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Speaker 3: to happen kind of mean, like it actually manifests into

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Speaker 3: an actual thing. Oh yeah, I love before you we

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Speaker 3: get into bin Face, what I love about Fox News

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Speaker 3: is that anytime the world is like just going through it.

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Speaker 3: You will always scroll, like you know on Apple, Like

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Speaker 3: you know, you'll scroll through news story and it'll be like,

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00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:51,720
Speaker 3: you know, uh, explosion at factory. You know, uh, the

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Speaker 3: ice caps are melting. And then Fox News is like

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Speaker 3: dog learns how to skateboard, and Fox is always trying

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Speaker 3: to distract you, like, which is the That's one thing I.

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Speaker 2: Respect some of this. That's why some of our best

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00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:04,440
Speaker 2: weird news is off Fox.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't get too political in this one. Our

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Speaker 1: whole thing is an escape from all the politics. But

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Speaker 1: ben Face is just in fully silver with an upside

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Speaker 1: down trash can which they call Bin's over there with

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Speaker 1: an eyehole cutout of the trash can, and this is

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Speaker 1: who's running. He's got my vote.

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Speaker 2: But also the fact that he was sir Buckethead, and

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Speaker 2: he was like, well, sir Buckethead, And it's kind of

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Speaker 2: a redesign. How about count bin Face.

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Speaker 3: Because it makes you more relatable.

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Speaker 1: Ben face is a better name ben face.

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Speaker 2: I mean like, also I like that bin is just

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Speaker 2: the name for garbage can, like, so it's essentially count

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Speaker 2: garbage can, or it would be like master garbage Can.

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Speaker 3: It's almost like he's running like he'd be very good

380
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:48,119
Speaker 3: at wrestling. Yeah, he's a wrestler. Yeah, he's a wrestler's

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00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 3: essentially is a good wrestling Yes, I mean taking out

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Speaker 3: the trash sounds like a.

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Speaker 2: Wrestling Yeah, pretty good. And it's pretty good.

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Speaker 3: Can you smell what the rocket is cooking?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean they're clever. BRIT's always get it right,

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Speaker 1: They're clever.

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00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,399
Speaker 2: Are you ready for it? This is another one from

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Speaker 2: the Brits.

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Speaker 1: You're ready for a small island?

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00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 2: This is from the UK Mirror again by one of

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Speaker 2: our favorite writers who.

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Speaker 1: We got, Luke Math Luke number one and only pod

393
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Speaker 1: is This is specifically for Albertina.

394
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Speaker 3: Wow, so much pressure.

395
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 2: Owners of super clingy cat trick her by creating fake

396
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,200
Speaker 2: warm lap to.

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Speaker 1: Sit in.

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00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 2: And it is so upseting looking. So they started working

399
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,639
Speaker 2: from home. This cat was adopted and it was super cleanyself.

400
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Speaker 1: All cats are adopted, but they adopt you.

401
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 2: You're right Ian. It was rescued. This cat was rescued

402
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,400
Speaker 2: and it had issues so that anytime anyone would sit down,

403
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,680
Speaker 2: it would immediately have to get in your lap. And

404
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 2: then they started working from home and they could not

405
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Speaker 2: physically work because the cat was so clingy. Getting up

406
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Speaker 2: and they're knocking all their shit over. So they created this.

407
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,960
Speaker 2: I was going to show you the picture. It is

408
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Speaker 2: literally just a pair of legs.

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Speaker 3: With shoes, the shoes with.

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Speaker 2: Shoes, and it's heated with like a like a heating

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00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,640
Speaker 2: element in it. It's just it's so upsetting. Oh, cat

412
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:17,199
Speaker 2: is so happy to sit on a personless lap.

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Speaker 3: Oh I wonder if it's kind of ideal, because the

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00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 3: cat really doesn't want your I mean, I just the heat. Yeah,

415
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 3: they just want the heat. Yeah, and I love that

416
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 3: they really like I mean, they really built two legs,

417
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 3: whereas like shoes, you just figured out if they just

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Speaker 3: got a heated blanket and rolled it up into a ball,

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Speaker 3: that would have worked to The cat doesn't give a ship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't give a shit. It just wants to

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Speaker 2: be warm.

422
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Speaker 3: No, it doesn't need to hear your heartbeat. That's not

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Speaker 3: he'son the cat there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So I always thought that they should build a

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Speaker 1: body pillow for lonely people that would shape like half

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Speaker 1: a human torso with one arm and one leg and

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00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: a head. And then when you like spooned up against it,

428
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,200
Speaker 1: it could either spoon you or you could spoon it

429
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 1: and if you squeezed it right, it would like mumble

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00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,680
Speaker 1: like I love you. That exists, does it?

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00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 3: It must A version of that exists.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it double.

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Speaker 3: No, but it is like a like it's shaped like

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Speaker 3: a human. It's like a It basically looks like a

435
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 3: to you know the car dealership tubes.

436
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, to people.

437
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 3: Yeah. But the stuff that with uh you know, feathers

438
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 3: or something stuff yeah, or love yeah, and there it's

439
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 3: like a huggable pillow.

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00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. They I think that would be great. And I

441
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Speaker 1: think you should have pre recorded things. Maybe pay ninety

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00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: nine cents for each thing it can say to you,

443
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 1: but maybe like every twenty five minutes it just mumbles

444
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 1: something quietly to the person holding on to it. How

445
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: long do cats live?

446
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 3: They can live up to I mean eighteen twenty.

447
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 1: Years, twenty years, I mean like that's I.

448
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,440
Speaker 3: Mean, you're you're really looking at pet cemetery cat and yeah,

449
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 3: fifteen years is a solid yd cat.

450
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 1: That's pretty long.

451
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

452
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: I've never lived besides growing up, I've never lived anywhere

453
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,880
Speaker 1: fifteen years right, oh wow, I like yeah, just in Maryland.

454
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: Then I went to college and then it's been little chunks.

455
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 1: So I can't imagine having that level of commitment.

456
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, that's it freaks me. That's that's a whole.

457
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 2: Other cause your cat out here. No, my d's still

458
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 2: in New York.

459
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like even cars don't last fifteen years now.

460
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 3: No, I mean that's why I always I don't understand

461
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 3: dog people. Not to be depressing about this, but like.

462
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 1: Good dogs, ates, dolphins are dogs.

463
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 3: Dogs. No, I know, I love dogs, but I you know,

464
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 3: one of the main reasons I don't think I would

465
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 3: get a dog is because you know, shorter lifespan.

466
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 1: Oh, that's exact reason I love dogs. Give me the

467
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 1: biggest dogs. Somebody was like, Scottie, you don't want a

468
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: great day and they live six years. I'm like, perfect,

469
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: I'll give it everything I got for six years and

470
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 1: then I'm going to be a different person. And I

471
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 1: always I love those big dumbos.

472
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 2: I mean it is it is crazy that those dogs

473
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 2: just from there, just from the height, Like the bigger

474
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 2: you are, the sooner you die. That's so weird. Imagine

475
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,719
Speaker 2: if like just taller people died earlier.

476
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: We do what well, Obama certain heights. Certain you're right

477
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: on the cuss ye.

478
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 2: Bad news, it's no.

479
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 3: Good, great News. I think it's just because your body

480
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 3: has to do more works, you're lower to the ground.

481
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 2: Like, That's what I say to everybody.

482
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 1: You know, it's always always working.

483
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,439
Speaker 2: It's nice to learn you're going to die early. This

484
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 2: is a great time to take a break. I'll be

485
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 2: right back and we're back. Welcome back to.

486
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:57,120
Speaker 1: Bananas.

487
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 2: I got a story with our guest Albert Tina Rizzo Scott.

488
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:01,879
Speaker 2: He's got a story. Let's hear it.

489
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: Yes, I have a story for you guys. This is

490
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 1: from our homeboy, Sam Nussy atters Ruters. Japanese billionaire Mazawa

491
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: pulls out of a dating show that promised the moon. Okay,

492
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: so in Tokyo, there's this Japanese fashion billionaire name billionaire

493
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 1: named Yasuku Mazawa, and he pulled out of a documentary

494
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: search for a girlfriend where he was going to take

495
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 1: whoever he linked up with on Elon Musk SpaceX and

496
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 1: take them around the moon. That was the whole competition.

497
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to meet a.

498
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 2: Woman time take them around the moon.

499
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: His voyage around the moon, yep, waiting That.

500
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 2: Definitely isn't a thing that SpaceX does.

501
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: Soon it's coming.

502
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 2: Around the moon. That's like a seven day trip or

503
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 2: something that's.

504
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:49,880
Speaker 3: The longest date ever.

505
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 2: That's horrible.

506
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,719
Speaker 3: Not only are you risking your life, but with someone

507
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 3: you don't know first a long date.

508
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 1: Must see TV guys, You guys don't understand. But he

509
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: pulls out because he cited mixed feelings about participating. So

510
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 1: this month, he's forty four years old, and he announced

511
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: he was seeking single females over twenty, I mean classic

512
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 1: over twenty, over twenty.

513
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: What a good guy?

514
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: What a gentleman?

515
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 2: What a gentleman?

516
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,439
Speaker 1: Yea willing to buy to be his girlfriend for a

517
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:24,120
Speaker 1: documentary to be aired on streaming service Abema TV. Almost

518
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: twenty eight thousand people applied.

519
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,479
Speaker 2: For a trip to the moon. So would I if

520
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 2: I was a twenty year old lady. Yeah, I'll be

521
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 2: out there trying to get around that moon.

522
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: He's a fashion billionaire.

523
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 3: Well, I also think like dating is very hard in Japan.

524
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 2: Is a China Japan Japan tokay.

525
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: So he's a he's feeling quote extremely remorseful about canceling this.

526
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 2: Why did he cancel it?

527
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,199
Speaker 1: He doesn't say it, says he just had mixed feelings

528
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 1: about it.

529
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 2: Time out?

530
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 3: What about the trip, about the dating?

531
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 1: About the dating and no the trip. I think he's

532
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 1: he's going for it.

533
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Oh he's going for the trip by himself.

534
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just gonna fly by himself.

535
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,919
Speaker 2: This is so weird. So he just pulled out? Did someone?

536
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 2: Did someone criticize him? There's no information about why he

537
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:10,360
Speaker 2: pulled out.

538
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: He says he's extremely remor so about the decision to

539
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: pull out, apologizing to the applicants and the beam My

540
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,719
Speaker 1: TV staff. On a post on Twitter, where he's Japan's

541
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:24,239
Speaker 1: most followed account with more than seven million followers.

542
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 2: Oh, I bet you I know what it is. I

543
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 2: bet you you met somebody.

544
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe he's mean love conquers all right.

545
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 2: He met somebody and she's like, you're gonna fucking go

546
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 2: on this god date. You're gonna have a competition to

547
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 2: take some lady around the moon. You're not gonna take

548
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 2: me around the moon, you piece of shit.

549
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

550
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 3: But also I love that he's promising something that's not guaranteed,

551
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 3: Like it's not guaranteed.

552
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 2: Do you want to go on a day with me

553
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: to Mars?

554
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 3: Yeah?

555
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: Exactly, that's I'm having a competition. We'll go to Mars together.

556
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 3: Also, what are the requisites? To win. You know, what

557
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 3: is he looking for?

558
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:01,640
Speaker 2: Uh? They have to be very lightweight, not eat a lot,

559
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 2: not be afraid of heights. They're not thirsty very often.

560
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 3: Will you should in a diaper?

561
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 2: Can you and do a vacuum?

562
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 3: Oh that's right. I still don't know how space works.

563
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 3: I told you, I'm not interested.

564
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 2: It's like a little vacuum that they put your junk.

565
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 3: I have a quick story about Japan that I found out.

566
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 3: It's a weird it's not even a news story. It's

567
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 3: a factor. There's a thing called.

568
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 2: Doll Island, Doll Island where a woman.

569
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 3: I guess, an old woman, uh, lived in this island.

570
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 3: I guess it was populated at one point, but all

571
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 3: the young people moved away because there was no there's

572
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 3: no economy, inky little island, and she started to get lonely.

573
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 3: So she built a bunch of dolls everywhere doing day

574
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:52,120
Speaker 3: to day things like you know, like gardening, taking out

575
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 3: the mail or getting the mail, sitting on a porch.

576
00:27:55,920 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 3: And now the entire or much of the island populated

577
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 3: by dolls. You can look it up. It's super creepy.

578
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 3: They kind of look like those potato dolls from like

579
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 3: the twenties.

580
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, yeah, it's creepy.

581
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 2: Isle of Dolls is the Wes Anderson movie. I want

582
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: to see. Yeah, thank you, thank you?

583
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 1: Also offensive?

584
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:23,439
Speaker 3: Yeah you should. You should google it. Let's dolls. I

585
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 3: don't know, and she, I guess she maintains these dolls.

586
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 3: They're basically like she sews clothes, she stuffs closed together

587
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 3: and then makes little faces for them.

588
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,880
Speaker 2: So it's just this lady and then dolls she lives.

589
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's like, it cured my loneliness.

590
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love this. I want we gotta

591
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: get fu. You gotta photos put on the Instagram.

592
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to go to doll Island. Though she did?

593
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: Did she she toasted the dolls live on I don't know.

594
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 3: Actually it's I don't know. I just found out about it.

595
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: Doll Island sounds great. I hope she had like dolls.

596
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 2: It's very upsetting.

597
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 1: Now, oh she was eaten by the dolls.

598
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 2: Uh, it's just oh no, okay, So there's multiple doll islands.

599
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't know, it's not it's not there's one

600
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 3: doll Island where it's just decapitated heads of dolls.

601
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's isla dead las yeah.

602
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound very Japanese to me.

603
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 2: It was in Mexico City. Yes, it looks like it. Yeah,

604
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 2: but this is this is oh yeah, Doll Island, Japan.

605
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 3: Yes, and it's and it's I guess.

606
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 2: The village is Nagaro in Japan. It's Doll Village the

607
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 2: Strangers Doll. Yes, Oh wow.

608
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: Can you how do you get that? Does it say

609
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 1: by boat? By plane? Because I'm going you're going this

610
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 1: was right up my alley. One great for Instagram? Two

611
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: need new stories. Three the merch alone is worth getting

612
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: me off that. I guess water plane. I don't know

613
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,719
Speaker 1: how you there's gonna be.

614
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 3: I mean, she's she's a little too busy to make merch.

615
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 3: But you know what, very good pictures.

616
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to take the clothes off the dolls, I'm

617
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: putting them on. I'm just going to stand very still

618
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: and then jump out at it and go. Then she

619
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,479
Speaker 1: dies and then I'm king of village adults. That's there

620
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: are a lot of those things out there. It almost

621
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 1: did a travel show once where you just found audities

622
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: around places when we're going to get lost, where it's

623
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: like there's there's just abandoned Christmas villages in the middle

624
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: of the desert.

625
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 2: There's it's well, you know, those are the best. That

626
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,239
Speaker 2: Christmas village that's in the in the mountains here. They

627
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 2: turned it back on. So it used to be a

628
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 2: theme park. It was like the world's first theme park.

629
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 2: It's called Santa Land and uh so for a while

630
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,719
Speaker 2: it was just abandoned, like rotting, decaying in the woods.

631
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 2: And you could go and it was like Looney Tunes,

632
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 2: like it's an entire theme park but all Santa based,

633
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 2: all Christmas base, but all year round. So there was

634
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 2: like you know, like a gingerbread house you could go

635
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 2: in still.

636
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 3: And nobody's operating it.

637
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 2: No, it was just decaying in the woods. But now

638
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 2: they started it up again.

639
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: Now roller coasters and solder coasters.

640
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 2: Are like on Santa's Reindeer and stuff like that.

641
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 3: I want to go.

642
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 2: It's called I think it's called Santa's Village.

643
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: Maybe there's something in gosh, it's it's in the south

644
00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: and it was like somebody made all the president's giant heads,

645
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: like huge statues of their heads, and it was called

646
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: like Presidential Park, and then nobody went and went out business.

647
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 1: So now there's just a place I think somebody got

648
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 1: them and just put them in their own property, just

649
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: walked through the woods and it's like eight foot stone.

650
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 2: I want to do.

651
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 1: That kind of shit.

652
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: I love, I mean money, I would do shit like

653
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 2: that all the time.

654
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 3: You know, everybody. I get teased about this, but you know,

655
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 3: anytime I go somewhere, I'll like google the stupidest thing

656
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,479
Speaker 3: to do in that area, and it's it's always like, oh,

657
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 3: you're going on one of your silly little field.

658
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: It's you do it is. One of your greatest characteristics

659
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 1: is you will dive into the weird.

660
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 3: I love the stupid stuff. If it's stupid, sign me up.

661
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 3: It's a museum for the dumbest ship. I mean, I

662
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 3: can't believe I haven't been to the Garfield Museum yet.

663
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't believe there's a Garfield Museum.

664
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 3: I mean I'm assuming there is.

665
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 2: Oh you're just assuming there is.

666
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it just serves Asangna.

667
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 2: And the.

668
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 3: Garfield Museum. I would be very very surp.

669
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: All people named John with no age getting free. I

670
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: know he's got an.

671
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 3: H then I know, what are you doing with my life?

672
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's the Garfield Trail, Fairmount, Indiana. Home to Jim

673
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 2: Davis and Garfield.

674
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 3: Of course it got to be in Indiana.

675
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sold the biggest stamp ball this year

676
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: in Boystown, Nebraska. Get out of two. It's the biggest

677
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: stamp ball in the world, over a million stamps.

678
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 2: Over a million.

679
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: Started with a golf ball and they just started putting

680
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: because you know, stamp prices go up, so at some

681
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: point you don't want to be putting three twelve cent

682
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 1: stamps on something. Yeah, So to keep these boys and

683
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: Boystown busy, they created the thing and it's a great

684
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: museum and I highly recommend. Wow, about thirty minutes outside

685
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 1: of Omaha.

686
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: How big is it?

687
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 3: Uh?

688
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 1: You couldn't lift it?

689
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a real general approximation of size.

690
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: If you're sitting at home, that's like home.

691
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 3: It's a down a home and wait to destri And

692
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 3: also I have.

693
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 2: To to not tell someone how big it is.

694
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 1: I mean, if you put your arms out and you

695
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: held two long carrots and you touch the carrot tips,

696
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 1: it's about that big.

697
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 2: Okay.

698
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: So I don't know what that is. Maybe three feet

699
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 1: in diameter.

700
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 3: Okay, But I love the not only do I like

701
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 3: the weirdness of that kind of stuff. But I also

702
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 3: love I have a tender like a spot, like a

703
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 3: little tender part of my heart that I'm like, oh,

704
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 3: you want to just be known for something?

705
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I human, isn't that a deep human desires

706
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 2: to be seen? Yeah, to be seen.

707
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 3: So I never shit on it. It's like you guys

708
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 3: have the biggest water toilet paper y, your sweet, sweet

709
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 3: little achievement.

710
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 2: And also I find it a lot of it is

711
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 2: it's not just having a weird or a dumb or

712
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 2: a good idea. It's essentially a like twenty year commitment

713
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 2: to a single dumb idea that is usually the most

714
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 2: impressive where it's like if someone did this for a

715
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 2: little while, it's like, yeah, that's fine, but when they've

716
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 2: done it for twenty years, you're just like it's like

717
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 2: mind boggling, you know, Like there's always every town has

718
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 2: like one of those, Every city has like one of those.

719
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,720
Speaker 5: Like this guy just started making his home out of trash,

720
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 5: and now he's been making his home out of trash

721
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,840
Speaker 5: for twenty years, and it's like now it becomes like

722
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 5: a museum after like twenty five years of this essentially

723
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,280
Speaker 5: a lunatic putting up bottles in cement around his house.

724
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 1: You know.

725
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 3: No, I mean there's a place right outside of New York,

726
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,800
Speaker 3: two hours away from New York. I think it's in Pennsylvania.

727
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 3: It's called not Little America. It's called Little Something America.

728
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 3: It's I wish I remembered the name. But essentially what

729
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:46,399
Speaker 3: it is is sixty years ago or fifty years ago,

730
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 3: guy decided to build the largest miniature village in the world.

731
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:59,280
Speaker 3: So he got an airplane hangar and built an entire

732
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 3: like basically America in miniatures. Who and the Star Spangled

733
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 3: banner plays And there's like a little plane that flies

734
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 3: with a flag, and there's a light show in there. Yes,

735
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,839
Speaker 3: I've been there three times. Tis I've been there. It's

736
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 3: in New York, Yeah, and it's it's so rinky dinky,

737
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:24,320
Speaker 3: but he committed his entire life life to this. And

738
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 3: there's little buttons where you can press a thing, and

739
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 3: like a guy's like, you know, tending to his guarden,

740
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,879
Speaker 3: a just miniature person. But the fact that this guy

741
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 3: he died leaving the thing to the town. I think

742
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 3: that they charged like four dollars to see it. It's

743
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 3: you know, you go in and you're sort of taken

744
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 3: aback by the size of it all, but also just

745
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 3: he definitely hated his family because there's no way he talked.

746
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 3: I mean, it really took its.

747
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:52,760
Speaker 1: Own happy marrisolutely.

748
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 3: It's delightful though, it's so sweet.

749
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 2: Oh well, I got, I got, I got a news

750
00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 2: story for you that you're gonna love him. Okay, this

751
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:04,359
Speaker 2: is from you know, this is our first Facebook group thing.

752
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 2: This is a Facebook group called only Human. The video

753
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 2: seems to come from something called Wonder. That is as

754
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 2: much credit as I can give it.

755
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: And maybe deserves. Maybe that's all it deserves.

756
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 2: Oh wait until you see this.

757
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: Okay.

758
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,399
Speaker 2: This is a man who had a cat, loved his cat,

759
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 2: cat died. What do you do with the cat when

760
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 2: a cat dies?

761
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 1: Eat it?

762
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 2: This guy? This guy decided to do something a little weirder.

763
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 2: Oh no, is He stuffed it and mounted it, mounted

764
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 2: a drone inside of it.

765
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 1: I did not see that. I thought my stamp ball

766
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 1: was wild.

767
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 2: So he can fly his cat around here? It is,

768
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 2: Oh my god, are you ready to watch him?

769
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 1: Its legs are spread in a star.

770
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,399
Speaker 2: It's yeah, his legs are spread out in all four

771
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 2: sides and flies. Okay, First off, it also has a camera,

772
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 2: so you can watch it. You can watch itself fly

773
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 2: right here goes Yeah, let it take it off.

774
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 1: On Instagram. So it's sorry.

775
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 3: But the kite never liked his cats.

776
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 1: He loved it.

777
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,359
Speaker 2: Look at that. It is just the tails straight out,

778
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 2: the arms are straight out, there's a there's a propellers

779
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:41,919
Speaker 2: on every paw.

780
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 3: He wanted tover his cat the way you would like

781
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 3: if a cat was terrified all the time. Yes, he truly.

782
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 3: The way he made this cat permanent look of surprise,

783
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 3: like when a cat does that, it is suffering.

784
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so dumb.

785
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: It's amazing. I mean, drones can fly like really fast.

786
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 1: That thing. Probably it's nice that he restored a cat

787
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 1: to its natural habitat.

788
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 2: Fly, but also it's like what cat wants to fly?

789
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 3: Cats don't like to fly. They also don't like to

790
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 3: be in that position spread.

791
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 2: That's if a cat like to be spread eagle, it

792
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 2: would lay on the ground. But it never does.

793
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 3: It doesn't and the cat looks shocked.

794
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 1: Yes, that he did a really good job with the face.

795
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,439
Speaker 1: I will say it looks like taxidermy can go bad,

796
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 1: But this thing still resembles a cat.

797
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 3: It is so sad as the people who get humans

798
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,880
Speaker 3: tax it, Jeremy, don't. Don't people do that.

799
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 1: Sometimes there are funeral services where the person is at

800
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: their own funeral, Like I've seen the one where it's

801
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: like somebody sitting there with sunglasses and a blunt and

802
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: like a beer in their heads.

803
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 2: Very funny.

804
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 3: They're bombed because I just watch you documentary.

805
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 2: You can't stuff a human beings.

806
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 3: Well, I just watched a documentary.

807
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: But don't tell me I'm a man without limits.

808
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 3: I watched a documentary about a Melda Marcos and her

809
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 3: husband is still in a glass case like INALD, Like,

810
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 3: oh sure, So I don't know how do they do that?

811
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 2: Well, that's not in America. You can't do it. You're

812
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 2: not allowed to like wind up the bodies.

813
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 3: In the in there since nineteen ninety two.

814
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's oh well that's embalmbed.

815
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, but that I don't don't know how that.

816
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:30,720
Speaker 3: I mean, am I stupid?

817
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 1: I don't know?

818
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:32,919
Speaker 2: Oh nobody knows how it works.

819
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just happens.

820
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just happens.

821
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 3: Like somebody is maintaining that, right, because it's like I

822
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 3: have no idea, Like it's like You're not going to

823
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 3: leave a turkey out for too long.

824
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

825
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 2: Definitely not unless you get that turkey bombed.

826
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 1: You could stuff a turkey too, That's very easy to know.

827
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 2: That's definitely it's not illegal at all.

828
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 1: No, my mom did it once. When your kids gross

829
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 1: me out. That is the funniest video.

830
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,320
Speaker 2: Like it's I'm so happy about it, and I would.

831
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm going back on what I'm saying Earl

832
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 1: there where weird the videos in sect, We're gonna.

833
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 2: We'll post it up, post it up on our instagrating

834
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 2: and so funny.

835
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,439
Speaker 1: At the same time, I said earlier in the pop

836
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: that I don't like pranks, but if I own that,

837
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: I would fly that thing over every town I went to.

838
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:17,919
Speaker 1: I would travel with it.

839
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: Weddings would be ruined.

840
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 1: Oh, weddings would be demolished, and there wouldn't be a

841
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 1: beach wedding on the North Carolina coast that didn't get

842
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 1: that cat drone just swooping right along like in the

843
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: barrel of a wave, just rocketing into the sunset. It's incredible.

844
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: I mean, it's amazing. It is amazing. I have so

845
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 2: many questions also about its construction, like what did he

846
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 2: just attach drone parts to the cat or did he

847
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 2: put the cat over a pre existing truck.

848
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 1: That's what skinned it.

849
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 3: He's in that cat and then put the head is

850
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 3: the only part that's actually taxidermy, man, that is in

851
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 3: the cat.

852
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,359
Speaker 1: It's amazing, amazing. Yeah, but I.

853
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 3: Don't know how you love something that much and then

854
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 3: make a bit out of it. Or maybe that's the

855
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 3: ultimate I know, the decoration of love.

856
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's uh, he might have killed that cat. That's

857
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 1: the thing too, Like this might not have been natural causes.

858
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 1: At lest somebody should meet this man. Police should see

859
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 1: that man. Oh man, that's pretty good.

860
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:25,800
Speaker 2: All right. It's got to give us our last story

861
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 2: of the day.

862
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna go for a weird one. Oh yeah,

863
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: this is maybe the most weird one of the day

864
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 1: because it's so human. This is from CBS News. So

865
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 1: Washington State woman who successfully unsuccessfully ran for mayor in

866
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,800
Speaker 1: Colorado Springs in twenty nineteen, has been accused of trying

867
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: to kidnap a three week old baby. This thirty eight

868
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: year old woman, her name is Juliette Parker. She and

869
00:41:51,680 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: her teenage daughter basically posed as baby photographers, and they

870
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: would go on social media and to Laura and unsuspecting moms,

871
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 1: she would offer free maternity and newborn photos, saying she

872
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: wanted to build her portfolio. But the detectives who arrested her,

873
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 1: she's currently she was released on a fifty thousand dollars bond.

874
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 2: She's going to be a rain see thousand dollars. That's it.

875
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 2: She was stealing babies.

876
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: Colorado Springs one of the weirdest places.

877
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,320
Speaker 3: I think. That's probably why if you live.

878
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,439
Speaker 1: There, thank you for listening. Tell all your friends anybody else,

879
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: just run away anywhere else. Denver's a great place.

880
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:34,959
Speaker 2: Really fun.

881
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 1: Boulder's fun. So this is what she would do. She

882
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: wanted a girl, apparently, and she wanted them five weeks

883
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:47,439
Speaker 1: or younger so she could quote raise it herself, take

884
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 1: care of it out of state, and pretend it was

885
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 1: a newborn of her own. Oh my god. So this

886
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 1: woman in Washington answered the post inviting Parker into her

887
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 1: home three times, please, said The woman spotted Parker taking

888
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 1: selfies with the baby, wiping down her fingerprints from items

889
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 1: she touched inside the home. Here's where it gets weird,

890
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,919
Speaker 1: believe it or not. During the third visit authority, said,

891
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,240
Speaker 1: Parker and her sixteen year old daughter, so she already

892
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 1: has a sixteen year old daughter, gave the woman a cupcake.

893
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 1: The woman suddenly began vomiting and feeling numb and drowsy.

894
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 1: She ordered the two to leave and called nine to

895
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:25,760
Speaker 1: one one, only to realize her house keys were stolen.

896
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 1: Quote the detective Troyer. Basically she was drug They put

897
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,359
Speaker 1: drugs in her cupcake, she ate it, and then they

898
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: attempted to take her kid authority say. The thirty eight

899
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 1: year old Parker, who unsuccessfully again ran for mayor in

900
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 1: Colorado Springs last year, operated under several aliases including.

901
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,840
Speaker 2: I'm out she ran for mayor nine, woman who stole.

902
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:47,760
Speaker 1: The who's trying to steal?

903
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 2: I feel like.

904
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 3: From mayor and doing something insane is very similar, very similar.

905
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 3: You're going to do one of the two.

906
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: Yes, it's it is the same. You need there's validation

907
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: in both. And she had several aliases including Juliet Noel

908
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: and Juliette Gains. Now here's the best part. I mean,

909
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 1: we'll go back and talk about drugging people for their

910
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: babies and everything too. In her candidate survey, she filled

911
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 1: out in twenty nineteen for they may oral race, Parker

912
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 1: describes the qualities she had that she felt would make

913
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 1: her a successful officeholder. Quote honesty, good moral code and compass, caring, respectful, smart, understanding,

914
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:33,760
Speaker 1: common sense, passionate ethics, and ability to think outside the box.

915
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 1: End quote.

916
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,320
Speaker 3: She loves kissing babies and stealing me.

917
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, she drugged a cupcake.

918
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I gotta go out there. I gotta press

919
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 2: the flesh. I gotta shake some hands and steal some babies.

920
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 2: And I'm not familiar baby.

921
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,279
Speaker 1: Also, like I don't know, do some research. She fed

922
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,240
Speaker 1: this person excuse me, she fed this person a cupcake

923
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: and then the person instantly started vomiting and feeling drowsy.

924
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: It's like there must be a slow burn out there.

925
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 1: They went for broke wh what I mean, what did

926
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 1: they put in there?

927
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 3: They rootfeed her?

928
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 1: Yeah?

929
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 3: And also what's crazy to me is that A she

930
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:13,320
Speaker 3: has a kid. B She could just like adopt a child.

931
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:16,399
Speaker 3: Does she not figured out like instead of going through

932
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 3: the motions.

933
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: Sort of raising Arizona?

934
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 3: It is a Coen Brothers. Yeah, it feels like a

935
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 3: Coen Brother's a movie or something. I do think there's

936
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,760
Speaker 3: a correlation though, like the running for mayor thing, I

937
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 3: it's always I mean, I maybe I'm imagining this, but

938
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 3: anytime you hear of a story of somebody who did

939
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 3: something insane, they will have tried to run for mayor

940
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:39,800
Speaker 3: at some point, and they're like.

941
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good call. We got to keep an

942
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 1: eye off running.

943
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 3: For mayor and then later being caught doing something horrible

944
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 3: is just totally linked.

945
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and this feeds into my theory that eighty percent

946
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: of photographers are.

947
00:45:52,640 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 3: Critical, but baby photographers, Yeah, well, I also think baby

948
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 3: photography is so when their baby babies is so creepy.

949
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 3: I mean, when you.

950
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:09,240
Speaker 2: See the babies, baby babies look fucked up.

951
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 3: But also anybody who puts their baby through that, come on, man,

952
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 3: there's something wrong with you. Because I've seen those pictures.

953
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 3: Some of the pictures, they make the baby look like

954
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 3: it's thinking, like they put them like that. And Getty's

955
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,240
Speaker 3: and Gettys made a whole career out of putting babies

956
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 3: and pumpkins and sunflowers and stuff and and sometimes a

957
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 3: little I kind of sort of did a deep dive

958
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 3: on into baby photography because I saw really creepy one

959
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 3: where they dressed I've sort of got this baby must

960
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 3: have been like not but two weeks old, and it

961
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 3: was wearing a little suite through Facebook, like.

962
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, do everything.

963
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 3: It was wearing a little suit and they put it

964
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 3: in like like a like a position that it looked

965
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 3: like it was waiting for a phone call.

966
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 2: You know what, You're describing this like it's a bad thing.

967
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 2: I'm turned around. I'm into this. I want to see

968
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 2: this photo.

969
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,360
Speaker 3: Oh there is There are so many. It's so upsetting

970
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,439
Speaker 3: to me because the baby is starting off its life

971
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 3: just doing it's.

972
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 2: Also but they have no memory, they have no.

973
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 3: No I know, but why are you putting I almost

974
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,279
Speaker 3: feel like you you should run the risk of your

975
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 3: baby being still Ye.

976
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a it's that is so.

977
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm seeing. Yeah, this one's a real common one.

978
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 2: The holding its head up with its hands.

979
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 3: It has no next strength.

980
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, so they that's the way they do it.

981
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, they do it like that. And the baby's never alert.

982
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 2: And also it's like the thing is about this is like, guys,

983
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 2: your baby's gonna look so much better. Give it six months.

984
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 3: They can't.

985
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 2: Newborns are weird looking. I have two children. Both of

986
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 2: my children when they were born look like grumpy old men.

987
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 2: They both look like wallash cute, you know, like they

988
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 2: came out. They all look like Wallace Sean. Wait un

989
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 2: till your baby doesn't like Wallace Sean. For you take

990
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 2: any photograph and.

991
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 3: Sometimes you know, it doesn't it doesn't get better.

992
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:08,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're Wallace Sean, it's days Wallace Shan.

993
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 3: I I've seen babies that look like Mo from the Simpsons.

994
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,879
Speaker 3: I mean, like, of course, well into toddler. Oh yeah,

995
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,439
Speaker 3: of course, it's very sad.

996
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 1: I like a baby that looks like an old man.

997
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:21,440
Speaker 1: It's a great looking baby.

998
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 2: No, it's you know it does You're just like, I

999
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 2: feel bad.

1000
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 3: I have to tell you that. I'm so glad that

1001
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:30,879
Speaker 3: you guys are doing a podcast dedicated to stupid stories

1002
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 3: because when I worked in late night, you know, those

1003
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 3: were my favorite jokes to write. You know, we have

1004
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 3: people to get a list of news stories, and at

1005
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 3: the bottom of the list is always, like we would

1006
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 3: call it, like burden a mailbox stories, like fark stories

1007
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:47,439
Speaker 3: where it's always there's always somebody in Florida something really well.

1008
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 2: We've been finding also Michigan.

1009
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:53,360
Speaker 3: Yes, Indiana has a ton two, but it would be

1010
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 3: like man throws a party for his pet turtle, you.

1011
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 2: Know what I mean, and like spend.

1012
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 3: Like thousands of dollars. I'm in And I remember when

1013
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 3: I started the job, I had to get like a

1014
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 3: talking to because I would only do those stories. I

1015
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 3: would only write jokes for those stories.

1016
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 2: And I'd be like, you know, this was made for

1017
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 2: you can come on whenever you want.

1018
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 3: The news exists for a reason, but I was not

1019
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 3: interested in that.

1020
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: Next time you come on, we'll have three fart machines

1021
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: with three remote controls and we'll just see what I

1022
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 1: have that that'll just anytime anybody wants Inerjeck just get

1023
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 1: in there.

1024
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 2: And that is a Bananas promise. Thank you guys so much.

1025
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 2: Thank you for coming Albertina.

1026
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 3: Thank you. I hope I wasn't a dud.

1027
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 2: You were not a dude.

1028
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: You're an all star.

1029
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 2: I could tell you you're an all star.

1030
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 3: Thanks.

1031
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 2: This has been an exactly right.

1032
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: Production, produced and engineered by Katie Levine.

1033
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 2: Theme song by Keihanamani, and all.

1034
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,680
Speaker 1: Of our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

1035
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 2: So please follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,

1036
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 2: where we put so many more stories and make it.

1037
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: Here and you can share with us your strange news

1038
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,760
Speaker 1: story by d ming us on Instagram at The Bananas Podcast.

1039
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 2: So listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on

1040
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 2: Apple podcast Stitch or wherever you get your podcasts.

1041
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 1: Bananas Bananas, Bana Banata