WEBVTT - How Marriage Works 0:00:01.120 --> 0:00:04.280 Welcome to you Stuff you Should Know from House Stuff 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:12.520 Works dot com. Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:16.000 Josh Clark, There's Charles W. Chuck Bryant, and this is 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:20.400 Stuff you Should Know good podcast. Right. How you doing man? 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:25.800 I'm good? And well how are you the same? A 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:29.000 little tired? Yeah, yeah, um, but other than that, I'm 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:31.920 doing pretty good. Man. There's a lot of stuff going 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:36.640 on to day with this topic. Yes, marriage, Chuck, you know, 0:00:36.960 --> 0:00:40.519 I am married, you're married. We're married, but not to 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:44.479 one another. Uh, that's true. And in the state that 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:47.680 we live, and we couldn't even if we wanted to. Yeah, 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:52.840 and this this is probably gonna touch on same sex marriage, um, 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.040 a decent amount because it's in the news, and hey, 0:00:56.160 --> 0:01:00.040 it's marriage too, right, so we're not going to ignore it. 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:03.160 But it's not necessarily just about that. It's about just 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:05.679 marriage as a whole. Right. Everybody call this one how 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:09.640 same sex marriage works? Yeah, exactly, But now maybe we 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.399 cannot do that one if we cover it in this one. 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:14.480 You know what I'm saying, how same sex marriage works. Yeah. 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:15.840 I feel like we're going to cover it enough in 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:21.400 this it's pretty straightforward stuff. Um. Well, let's talk about marriage, 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.800 all right, Okay, Um, Really, if you boil the whole 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:29.160 thing down, it is, as far as the government views it, 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:34.399 very very very very very unromantically. It's basically a legal 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:39.840 contract between two people, and therefore there are legalities that 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:42.360 you have to go through, and as a result of 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:46.560 going through this this legal process, you are endowed with 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:52.440 certain legal rights. That's marriage. That really is though, And 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:56.080 it's like, I draw a distinction. I don't think it's like, oh, 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:58.240 it's unromantic to call it that, because that's what it is. 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:01.120 It's a difference between a marriage in a lifelong relationship 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:03.960 with somebody that now that's romantic chuck, Yeah, I mean 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.080 that's where the romance is. The marriage is just some 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:11.360 official way of recognizing that, right Okay. So um, and 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:13.800 I would imagine it's not just it's not just the 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:18.360 um desire to be, you know, to have your relationship 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:22.160 recognized in that same way that it's a lifelong commitment legally, 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.359 but also to get the benefits as well as one 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:27.320 of the those are two probably very big reasons that 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:30.320 same sex couples want to be legally married or allowed 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:37.160 to legally married. Um. So, since it's a legal process, chuckers. Um, 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:41.600 all things start with an application. All legals processes start 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:44.839 by filling out an application. And marriage is no different. Yep, 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:46.959 you gotta get that license. You got to apply to 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:51.079 get that license. And uh here and uh, Emily and 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:52.760 I went to Decatur. It was the sign on the 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:56.040 wall was marriage and gun licenses. We thought was kind 0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:58.880 of funny. Yeah, get both in the same one stop shopping. 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:04.160 Uh Uh. But each state has its own uh laws 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:09.160 regarding everything concerning marriage, especially the world not especially, but 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.800 the first of which is the license and application process. 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:15.240 How old you got to be? All that stuff varies 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:19.520 from state to state, it does. And um, until very recently, Uh, 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:24.280 Alabama allowed kids as young as fourteen. I believe they 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:26.280 were the youngest state. It says in this article that 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:32.000 there was kids as young as age twelve. I think, 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:34.839 is that right? I think so. But that I think 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:37.200 that was like only with like a court order or 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:41.560 a court permission, like like a pregnancy or something. I 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:44.480 don't know, well that that's that's one of the surprising 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:47.880 things is in Georgia, UM, if you're under eighteen, uh, 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.440 you have to present a birth certificate. And I think 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:53.280 your parents have to be present, both of them unless 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:55.680 the unless the bride to be is pregnant, and then 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:58.000 all rules go out the window. Yeah, most states that 0:03:58.080 --> 0:04:01.240 allow it under eighteen. The parents have to sign off, right, 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:04.200 and there has to be like some reason. But like 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:06.480 we said, it varies from state to state and it 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.960 would take two hours to go over all that. So 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:12.040 if you're interested in getting hitched in your seventeen, look 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.320 it up on your state's website. You don't want to 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.719 go over to state by state. Do you remember the 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:20.960 the dude from UM Lost and then he was in 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:23.880 one episode of X Files. I can't remember his name. 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.840 Which guy from Lost? I don't remember. I didn't watch Lost. 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:30.120 I just know he was on Lost and he married. 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:34.200 He's like pushing fifty forty something and he married a 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.280 sixteen year old girl. Uh yeah, and they were gonna 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.480 they were sending themselves up. I believe to have UM 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:42.800 a reality show or whatever. But her parents signed off 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:45.719 on it. I remember like that. There was a big 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:48.960 it was a big news story. Remember that too. They 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:52.520 moved to Nevada, or they went to Nevada to get married, 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:56.240 which is not um uncommon. I understand to move to 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.520 a different state. No, to go to to go to 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:01.680 Las Vegas to get married. Sure, yeah, people do that. 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:05.040 So no matter where you are, you fill out this application, 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:11.160 you pay a nominal fee. Uh, and then after your ceremony, 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:14.479 you get a certificate that says you're married. Here's proof, 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:16.840 show it to whoever you like. Yeah. Sometimes you need 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:20.040 a blood test. We did not need one here in Georgia. 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:21.960 But that's what you always kind of hear, the old 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:23.719 fashioned thing, like go down and get your blood test 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:28.160 and get married. Yes, but make sure you are disease 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:31.360 free and not cousins. That's right. Is that what it's 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:34.480 for to to check DNA? No, okay, I don't think 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:36.840 they have the equipment to do that. I didn't think 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:40.039 so either. Uh. And you can get married by a 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:43.080 varying like a bunch of different ways. Um, you can 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.400 get married by your best friend if you want to, 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:49.279 as long as they get certified online as able to 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:51.440 do that, which is what we did with our father 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.200 in law, just to make him part of the experience. 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:57.960 That's stepfather and my stepfather, the one in Ohio. Yeah, yeah, 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:01.400 they're all in Ohio. But yeah, so chuckers, now that 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:06.159 now that you're married. Um, according to federal law, you 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:12.840 are eligible and open for I think thirty eight federal benefits. 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:19.600 Is that still correct? Yes? Is that part of doma? Um, 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:21.919 I'm not sure if that's a specific part of doma, 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:25.640 but it's it's probably a part of many different laws, 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.040 you know, if there's a plus, but it's it's all. 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:33.320 This is all specifically federal level. Yeah. Yeah. So for example, 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:35.760 and we'll talk about DOMA in a minute. Yeah, I 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:40.239 believe we should so. Um. For example, if if Emily 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:43.080 is in the hospital, you have a legal right to 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:47.040 go visit her. That's right. I can even make medical 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:49.839 decisions on her behalf, that's right, unless she has a 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.760 living well right, which we would do together anyway. Um. 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:57.560 You can get benefits if you're a federal employee. Um. 0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:01.880 You can get inheritance rights, property rights sometimes even if 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:04.599 there's no will. Yes, you me can take out a 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:08.200 life and ensures policy on me and it's legal. Yeah. 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:11.240 Tax benefits of course of being married, you can file 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:15.560 that way. Um. You can receive Medicare, Social Security, Disability, 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:19.480 veterans benefits if you're a spouse, legal spouse. Yes, you 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:24.640 can immigrate your spouse to the United States, Yeah, more 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:27.560 easily at least. Yeah, if I killed somebody, Emily could 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:31.600 visit me in jail, that's right, and then prison right 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:35.720 as my spouse, and I would imagine depending on the state, 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:39.160 there would be conjugal rights as well. Yeah, definitely. So 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:43.000 those are just a handful of the eleven hundred entitlements 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.040 that you gain. You don't want to go over all 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:48.400 of them. If they have a list, I'll do it. 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:51.160 So yeah, there there are a lot of good reasons 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.240 to be married. You can also file jointly, so you 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:57.560 get a tax break there. Um. And in addition to 0:07:57.600 --> 0:08:01.840 like the legal benefits, there's been tons and tons and 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:06.360 tons of studies um on marriage that show that, like, 0:08:06.400 --> 0:08:12.760 there's actually psychological physiological benefits to marriage. People people happily married, 0:08:12.800 --> 0:08:16.000 I should say, um, not just married, Like there's a 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.080 key to it. You have to be happily married. They 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:23.640 tend to live longer live um, they two parents, a 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:28.560 married parent household, um tends to produce more stable, well 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:33.000 adjusted kids that do better in school. Yeah. True. Yeah, well, 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.319 I mean there's tons and tons of studies, but it 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:39.080 doesn't necessarily relate to same sex or opposite sex it's 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:44.240 just married parents. Um happened to do that statistically, that's right. 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.559 So what else? Uh, Well, people are getting married later 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:50.880 and later. I think everyone recognizes that. But um to 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:55.240 the tune of people born from n to ninety nine 0:08:56.440 --> 0:09:01.800 of men and women were married by and compared that 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:05.880 to last year, where the average age of marriage was 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.000 twenty eight point six for men and twenty six point 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:11.320 six for women. And basically there hasn't been a year 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:15.160 since the nineteen fifties where the median age has not 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:17.760 gone up. She's going up and up and up and up. Yeah, 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:20.320 And you would assume that it would have continued to 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:22.959 go up and up and up prior to the nineteen fifties. 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:26.680 But what's really interesting is in eighteen ninety the average 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:29.160 age that a man got married was twenty six, and 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:33.000 it declined um down to the nineteen fifties and sixties 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:37.720 when it reached its lowest level, lowest age, which is like, um, 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.920 like twenty two or something like that, and and then 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:43.600 it started to go back up, which is very odd, 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:45.319 and it did it for men and women because you 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:48.319 would think in you know, olden times, you get married 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:52.360 at age twelve, you know, so people were getting married 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:54.760 at maybe sixteen for a median age, but it was 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:57.719 more than it was older than than people were in 0:09:57.760 --> 0:09:59.959 the fifties when they were getting married. So the fifty 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:05.920 might might have just signified some marital boom. Maybe. I 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:11.320 guess people decided that, Um, they were not interested in 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:16.800 pre marital sex. They just decided that. Um have we 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:20.440 covered polygy? We did a full podcast on podcast even 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:22.200 need to mention that. That's what I thought when I 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.280 was reading this, I was like, wait a minute, this 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:28.040 this reeks of something familiar. Um, but that is a 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:32.360 type of marriage. Um, And I guess go listen to 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:35.160 that podcast on Did we call it plural marriage or polygamy? 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:37.400 I'm sure we talked about it as plural marriage, but 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.199 we called it how polygamy works, right, And I guess 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:42.800 the very condensed form of this is that it is 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:47.439 officially condemned by the Mormon Church these days, although an 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:51.760 estimated thirty to sixty thousand polygamus still uh well, I 0:10:51.760 --> 0:10:55.960 guess still practice polygamy. Uh. So there are other types 0:10:56.000 --> 0:11:00.400 of unions these days. Um. There are are civil unions, 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:05.720 domestic partnerships in regular old fashioned marriage, and a civil 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:10.080 union entitles same sex couples the same legal rights as 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:13.800 marriage and benefits. So that's you know, like you said, 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:18.120 after two things, the benefits and just the common recognition 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:21.280 among their peers, like I'm just like you and I'm 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:23.800 married just like you. Or in this case of civil union, 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.440 UM would only give you the rights and not the 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:30.640 badge of marriage. Right. And there's nine states where you 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:36.600 were civil unions are permitted for same sex couples. That's right, UM, California, 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:40.120 New York City, Maine, and the District of Columbia, I 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:43.760 believe allowed domestic partnerships for same sex couples. That's right. 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.880 And actually, UM, one of the one of the big 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:50.880 um same sex marriage cases that's before the Supreme Court 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:55.240 right now is a little old lady who UM lived 0:11:55.240 --> 0:12:00.520 with her partner for decades and because she has a 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.240 domestic partnership under New York lause, she didn't not to 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.920 pay any tax, she didn't have to pay any inheritance tax. 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:08.199 But she got slapped with like a three hundred and 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:13.640 nine dollar federal inheritance tax because the Feds don't recognize 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.680 their domestic partnership. And that was that's one of the 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:19.520 cases of Supreme courts hearing right now, Well, you can 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.840 get full on same sex married as of December of 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:28.000 two thousand twelve in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New York, 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:33.520 New Hampshire, Maine, Maryland, Washington State, and the District of Columbia, 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:37.760 and that is full same sex marriage like outright. And 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:41.320 at the same time, thirty eight states have laws banning 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:45.800 outright same sex marriage. So people are really drawing the 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:48.839 line on this issue in this country. Yeah, well it's 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:55.120 pretty polarizing issue to say the least. Like I have 0:12:55.160 --> 0:13:00.360 one stat things are changing of people in a same 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:06.800 sex marriage and then last year, so that drop in 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:11.480 fourteen years. You know. In researching this article, I've really um, 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:18.360 I really it's yeah, I've really found out that we 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:22.559 were a radically different country than we are today. Like 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:26.280 socially speaking, we are really really different. There was a 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:28.600 lot of stuff, a lot of laws that passed and 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:33.120 a lot of mentalities that were like supported legislatively that 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:37.360 just don't make any sense today to a lot more people, 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:41.440 you know, like doma sure the idea that that passed, 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:44.120 and like this kind of the meanness behind it is 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:47.280 is it's just well, I guess it's being picked apart 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:50.680 right now, right, Yeah, The Defensive Marriage Act um define 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:54.240 marriage as only a legal union between one man and 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:58.400 one woman as husband and wife. And uh. Bill Clinton 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:02.800 famously signed that and has been sort of changing his 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:06.880 story like every four or five years since then on 0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:09.079 why he signed it, because people kind of pick home 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.959 and out, like Billy Dude of all presidents, why did 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:15.640 you sign it? Um? In ninety six he said a quote, 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:19.480 I have a long I have long opposed governmental recognition 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:24.080 of same gender marriages, and this legislation is consistent consistent 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:27.120 with that position. And then in two thousand eight he said, 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:30.560 all it said was that Idaho did not have to 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:34.600 recognize a marriage sanctified in Massachusetts. That's pretty good, Quinton. 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:37.160 So he basically was like, hey, listen, man, all I'm 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:40.240 saying was it was left up to the states, which 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:42.120 was a bit of a reversal. And then in two 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:44.840 thousand nine he said, well, you know the reason I 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:48.320 signed it was I thought the question of whether gay 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:50.640 should mary should be left up to states and too 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:54.200 religious organizations, and that if any church or other religious 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.040 body wanted to recognize gay marriage, they ought to. So 0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:59.200 this is a bit of a he's saying it's being 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:04.520 spun as him coming out as like anti gay uncertain levels, 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:06.920 and he's saying, no, no, no, you're rewriting history in 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.080 a different way. What it really meant was let's just 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:12.000 federally say this and let the states decide. But that's 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:14.920 a pretty glim interpretation of DOMA. From what I understand, 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.360 it basically removes states rights. And that's one of the 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:22.600 things that the Supreme courts looking at now too, is DOMA. 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:27.760 Is DOMA unconstitutional? And one of the ways that the 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:32.200 the pro same sex marriage lobby could actually harm itself 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.000 is if the Supreme Court decides to look at DOMA 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.600 as the state's rights issues and kicks it back to 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.520 the states, then all of these bands will be upheld 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:45.080 rather than just saying no, it's it's unconstitutional because it 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:51.040 bans marriage effectively between same sex people. So that's I mean, 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.720 it's not as it is the state's rights issue in 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:55.440 a way, but not in the way that Clinton is 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:58.360 saying it. It doesn't allow states to kind of make 0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:01.280 up their own mind. Uh. I think Clinton is trying to. 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:04.120 I don't think he's super proud of it now, and 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:07.120 I think he's sort of been backtracking ever since and 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.920 on reasons why he supported it at the time. And 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.160 you know a lot of Congress people have come out 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:17.320 since then and reverse their their statements on it, saying, 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.760 you know, I've evolved in my thinking to this point, 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.080 and I now think we should look into it more 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:27.160 at least and not necessarily like fully in support of it. Um. 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:29.760 But there are eleven countries if you're wondering what's like 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:33.080 around the world, like all across the country you can 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:40.600 get married if you're same sex, like Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:44.840 South Africa, Sweden, and Spain. It is a federal Uh, 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:50.400 it's legally allowed federally. So let's you know, say what 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:51.920 you will about that. We want to get married, go 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:55.720 to Spain. Um, moved to Spain. You don't have to 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:58.400 like go live there because if the United States whouldn't 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:01.520 recognized or Netherlands, that's an explice. South Africa, we've talked 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:07.040 about that. Um. Yeah, But I mean I think most 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:09.919 people who want to get married who are of the 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:13.360 same sex want to stay at home. She just want 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:17.200 to get married at home, you know. Um, this is uh, 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:21.520 and you're talking about a UM, I guess, being allowed 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:24.280 to be married in an entire country. There's been a 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:28.480 couple of attempts to ban UM same sex marriage as 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:32.359 an entire country in the US, but have been unsuccessful, 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:37.200 like make it a constitutional amendment. Yeah, and that has 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:41.280 not happened now. So in addition to domestic partnerships and 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:45.120 civil unions, that's when I find interesting the reciprocal beneficiary 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:51.320 relationship UM, which was Hawaiian state law and I guess 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:53.600 it was kind of done away with in favor of 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.800 civil unions in two thousand eleven or twelve. But basically 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:01.399 it's it's it grants you the right of a married couple, 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:04.639 but it doesn't necessarily mean you're a couple in the 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.159 eyes of the law, unless you say we're a couple 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:12.200 it UM. It so like brother and sister can can 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:17.520 be a reciprocal beneficiaries UM and aunt and her nephew 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:19.600 or whatever. It doesn't mean you're a couple. It means 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:21.879 that like you can make legal decisions for one another, 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.120 and it's for people who are like dependent on on 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:27.520 one another living situations, that kind of thing. So don't 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:30.240 be super creeped out by that when you and sister 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:33.600 and stuff like that. Uh, do you got anything else 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:39.040 on same sex marriage? Oh? Um, no, I guess that's it. 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:41.760 I'm very interested to see what happens. It's the civil 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:44.480 rights issue of our age, and that's what a lot 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:47.200 of people are arguing, Like, dude, let's just learn from history. 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:50.160 Do we have to go through the same steps every 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:55.760 time we do this? Um with allowing people rights, finally 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:58.560 giving them the rights that you know everyone will in 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:01.560 the future eventually agree they should have and should have 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.800 had all along. Um. But apparently we have to go 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:08.480 through at the same struggle every time for each group 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:11.679 before they get their rights, their civil rights that are 0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:15.840 afforded everybody, whether it's the African Americans sitting where they 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:19.119 want on a bus or women voting. Um. Yeah, it 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:21.080 seems like this pops up every now and then in 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:23.159 this country, where people say, hey, wait a minute, I 0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:25.680 don't have the same rights as that dude over there, right, 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:28.640 and why not? It's very interesting, it is, and I'm 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.919 sure like we're going to get a lot of listener 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:34.600 mail about this. Yeah. Well, you know, we're just putting 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:36.480 it out there. This is what certain people think and 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:39.639 that's what other people think. Yeah, I guess, And luckily 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:41.600 we live in a country where you can voice those opinions. 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:44.359 So before we move on to other parts of marriage, 0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:47.120 let's take a quick little message break. Let's do it, 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:58.840 and now we're back with more marriage. Yeah wow. Um 0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:01.560 So Chuck one of the ones that I've always heard 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:03.399 of his common law marriage, and I was doing a 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:05.960 little research on it, and it doesn't make much sense 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:09.240 to me. I don't understand, like, apparently its origins where 0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:12.440 that's what marriage was like two people just kind of 0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:16.639 shacked up and they were viewed by society and the 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:20.720 law as married. And then the the church insinuated itself 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:23.800 by saying, no, there's no more clan to stying marriages anymore. 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:26.439 You have to do this publicly and declare, you know 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:28.240 that you want to be married, and there's got to 0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:31.239 be a priest and let's you know, maybe maybe you know, 0:20:31.359 --> 0:20:33.960 somebody's gotta be there, so let's have a witness or whatever. 0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:37.000 And that that's kind of like the rival of common 0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:39.359 law marriage. And and as it's become more and more 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:43.119 um prevalent, common law marriage is kind of fallen into 0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:45.320 the waistide. Well don't you just have to shack up 0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:49.159 for seven years? No, that is a myth, yea, everyone 0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:52.040 always says, I always heard that, Yeah, and I think 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:55.480 that's just a common misconception. Um. If you want to 0:20:55.560 --> 0:20:59.399 be uh common law married, you actually have to present 0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:01.920 as a married couple. You have to change your last name, 0:21:01.960 --> 0:21:05.840 file joint tax returns, basically kind of really live as 0:21:05.880 --> 0:21:08.840 if you're married, not just live together and fight over 0:21:08.840 --> 0:21:11.280 where to go to dinner. Right, you know, it probably 0:21:11.320 --> 0:21:13.960 wouldn't hurt to contact your local probate court and file 0:21:14.040 --> 0:21:17.400 something like saying, hey, we're married. Okay, as far as 0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:20.080 you're concerned, we're married. We're common law marriage. Now, this 0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:23.520 only works if your state recognizes common law marriages, and again, 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:27.160 fewer and fewer states do these days. Um. In some states, 0:21:27.240 --> 0:21:33.760 if your common law marriage was around before the nineties, 0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:37.320 certain dates in the nineties, it would be grandfather then 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:39.720 Georgia being one of them. Right, Yeah, if you were 0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:44.400 common law married in Georgia before January one, you're still 0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:48.920 common law married if you still are nice and the 0:21:49.040 --> 0:21:52.440 states also don't. Um. We we joked about the seven 0:21:52.520 --> 0:21:55.680 year thing, but there is no set time in any 0:21:55.720 --> 0:21:58.639 state that you have to live together to present yourself 0:21:58.680 --> 0:22:01.280 as common law man and wife, although I don't you know, 0:22:01.560 --> 0:22:02.879 I don't know that you would do that after you 0:22:03.080 --> 0:22:06.840 just moved in together. But hey you can if you want. Well, 0:22:06.880 --> 0:22:10.119 you know, um talking about moving in together, there was 0:22:10.160 --> 0:22:12.879 a study that recently found that more and more people 0:22:13.040 --> 0:22:19.080 are living together before marriage um or instead of marriage. 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.280 And also apparently one of the reasons we were talking 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:25.639 about the marriage age increasing, one of the reasons they 0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:27.840 think that people are putting it off more and more lately, 0:22:28.119 --> 0:22:33.919 especially millennials, is due to college debt. How sad is that? Okay, 0:22:33.920 --> 0:22:36.280 So I'm broke, so I'm not gonna get married, like 0:22:36.320 --> 0:22:39.440 I can't afford to get married right now. That's that's terrible. 0:22:40.320 --> 0:22:41.600 I don't say what does it cost you though, I 0:22:41.600 --> 0:22:44.480 don't get that. Well, I mean, you've got to get 0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:47.080 a ring, and there's got a I mean, there's just 0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:52.640 certain things to it. I guess that certain costs. Yeah, 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:54.480 I guess it depends on what you're looking for out 0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:57.720 of your wedding, in your rings and things like. It 0:22:57.760 --> 0:23:00.520 doesn't have to be expensive, you know than half to 0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:03.600 just these college kids these days, I don't know, have 0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:06.560 no money to get married. Give them some advice to 0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:08.800 just get married, don't get a cheap ring and get 0:23:08.880 --> 0:23:13.880 hitched at the courthouse. So okay, so um. As far 0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:17.520 as shacking up goes, more and more people are doing it. Apparently, 0:23:18.320 --> 0:23:20.320 between two thousand and six and two thousand and ten, 0:23:21.080 --> 0:23:25.320 almost half of UM, straight women ages fifteen forty four 0:23:25.400 --> 0:23:28.959 said that they have lived together with somebody who they 0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:34.240 weren't married to. And of gay women, Yeah, I have 0:23:34.240 --> 0:23:38.359 another stat here that said from nineteen eighty two, Uh, 0:23:38.400 --> 0:23:41.280