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Speaker 1: I refuse to use my one hundred and eighty thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars for my son's rehab.

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Speaker 2: Will power is free? Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 3: I mean it sounds like op is just given some

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Speaker 3: tough love. Teach a man to not do drugs and

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Speaker 3: he can only not do drugs for a day. Give

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Speaker 3: a man drugs.

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Speaker 1: And he sells them for life totally and he becomes

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Speaker 1: a millionaire. Okay, yes this, Yeah, you have one hundred

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Speaker 1: and eighty grand You can't can't.

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Speaker 2: Spend one side of it?

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Speaker 4: Huh yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Maybe there's a reason.

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Speaker 4: Maybe there's a reason.

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Speaker 3: Maybe maybe Opie just wants to make his kid's life hard.

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Speaker 2: There's only one way to find out, the hard way,

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Speaker 2: the hard way. That's our way. My husband and I

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Speaker 2: have been married for three years now.

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Speaker 1: I have a daughter fifteen female, and he has a son,

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Speaker 1: twenty four male. I am friendly with my step son,

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Speaker 1: but we're not close. He has a biological mother who

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Speaker 1: is a perfectly fine woman. I'm not here to take

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Speaker 1: the role of his mom.

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Speaker 4: Ohp, he's a lady.

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Speaker 1: OPI is, yes, a step mommy my late husband, my

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Speaker 1: daughter's father passed away when the daughter was six years old.

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Speaker 2: We both contributed to her college fund. My daughter's paternal

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Speaker 2: grandparents have also contributed a large amount. Right now, that

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Speaker 2: fund has about one hundred and eighty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 3: That's a big college fund. That is like, she's she saizable,

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Speaker 3: she can go away anywhere with that, that's right, like

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Speaker 3: said maybe usc, yes, that's only probably only two years.

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Speaker 3: Just go to Harvard at that point.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my daughter is extremely bright. And I'm not just

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Speaker 1: saying that because I'm her mom. Sure, op with your lies,

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Speaker 1: I see right through.

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Speaker 3: Everyone says their child is so bright and so smart

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Speaker 3: and so cute and everything.

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Speaker 2: But maybe she's an idiot.

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Speaker 4: Maybe she's an idiot, dummy or genius. We will see.

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Speaker 1: I truly believe that she has the capacity to go

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Speaker 1: to an Ivy League school, and her teachers have said

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Speaker 1: that she has that potential as well. Oh wow, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's awesome, that's good. Yea, So maybe she hadn't agree.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I believe you, and I don't want any costs

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Speaker 1: holding her back. Our income would be too high to

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Speaker 1: get any meaningful financial aid. And while there are a

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Speaker 1: few merit based scholarships out there that she will be

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Speaker 1: applying to, we don't want her to put all her

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Speaker 1: eggs in one basket and just hope that she gets

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Speaker 1: it when it's so competitive. My current husband and I

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Speaker 1: have separate finances. He doesn't contribute at all to my

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Speaker 1: daughter's fund. My step son is struggling with a heroin addiction.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. He has stolen money, jewelry, heirlooms, and

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Speaker 1: electronics from us for drug money. I understand that an

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Speaker 1: addiction is a disease, and I personally paid for an

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Speaker 1: outpatient detox for him, which was around one thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: which failed. His father then paid for an outpatient rehab

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Speaker 1: program which costs sixty five hundred dollars, which also didn't

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Speaker 1: work because he barely showed up. He promised us that

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Speaker 1: he'd do better next time, and he needed another chance.

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Speaker 1: So I split the cost of another sixty five hundred

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Speaker 1: dollars out patient rehab program with my husband, which seemed

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Speaker 1: to work during the program, but he relapsed as soon

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Speaker 1: as he got out of it. Well, I have spent

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Speaker 1: so much money, time and energy and it hasn't helped

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Speaker 1: at all. My husband and my stepson want to try

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Speaker 1: a sixty day out patient rehab program, which will cost

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Speaker 1: thirty thousand dollars. Ooh that is maybe this is this

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Speaker 1: is a tough situation. Yeah, I mean this it's like

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Speaker 1: basically this kid's life. Yeah, it's kind of life and death.

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Speaker 1: And of course the dad is like whatever, probably going

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Speaker 1: to try whatever he can do. Right.

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Speaker 3: I have a childhood friend that actually I'm not close

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Speaker 3: with him anymore, but apparently he's like on the street

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Speaker 3: kind of like just like addicted to drugs. Yeah, and

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Speaker 3: they did a sixty thousand dollars treatment and it didn't

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Speaker 3: really work. It's your I mean, yeah, so you're and

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Speaker 3: he's like down to pay anything, like sold his house.

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Speaker 4: Yeah that that. It's rough.

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Speaker 2: It it happens. It happens, really hard situation.

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Speaker 1: I had absolutely no idea where they were supposed to

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Speaker 1: get the money for that, considering the thousands and thousands

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Speaker 1: of dollars that they'd already spent and the fact that

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Speaker 1: we no longer had anything of value in our house.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I guess from him stealing. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: Wow, they want to use my daughter's college fund, which.

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Speaker 1: Shit, here it is, yeah, here it is. This is

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Speaker 1: where I sat, which to me is absolutely off limits.

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Speaker 1: I feel like, it's a completely unfair to punish my

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Speaker 1: daughter for my step son's addiction, unfair to my late

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Speaker 1: husband and to his parents. But frankly, I don't think

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Speaker 1: spending thirty thousand dollars will work. My husband thinks I'm

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Speaker 1: an asshole because I'm prioritizing my daughter's education over his

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Speaker 1: son's life, and he believes that medical needs come first.

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Speaker 1: He then asked my daughter if she would be willing

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Speaker 1: to use thirty thousand dollars from her fund to pay

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Speaker 1: for her stepbrother's rehabse which I feel is very It's

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Speaker 1: just like going over another's head. Yeah, right, it feels

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Speaker 1: kind of rude, yeah, like behind her back.

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Speaker 3: Like you guys can be like like as a as

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Speaker 3: a unit, you need agree on something and then you

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Speaker 3: can ask. But to ask without consent from your wife's

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Speaker 3: feeling stepping over a boundary.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, And she got very quiet and did not answer.

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Speaker 1: He then got very upset with her and said that

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Speaker 1: she was being selfish. My daughter later told me that

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Speaker 1: she didn't want to give her stepbrother the money, but

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Speaker 1: she felt so guilty, And I'm furious at my husband

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Speaker 1: for emotionally guilt tripping my daughter like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is a very, very, very tough situation

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Speaker 1: because I do, on one hand, totally understand the husband's

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Speaker 1: perspective of like I am trying to do anything I

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Speaker 1: can to help my son, but you can't, like I think,

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Speaker 1: just break any boundary with your partner, try to get

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Speaker 1: this money, you know, Like.

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Speaker 3: I think it's really unfair too. It's really unfair. I

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Speaker 3: mean it's really unfair to the daughter. Yes, it's really

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Speaker 3: unfair to the late husband, and it's unfair to the grandfather,

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Speaker 3: Like they put money for this reason, for this reason,

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Speaker 3: and to not honor that reason, it's to not honor

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Speaker 3: everyone who contributed.

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Speaker 1: To that one hundred percent, which is I mean exactly

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Speaker 1: what OPC says.

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Speaker 4: Sucks. It sucks.

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Speaker 2: It sucks.

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Speaker 4: It totally sucks. Yea.

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Speaker 3: And the thing though, is like will this sixty day

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Speaker 3: thing even help? Will it move the needle forward? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Does this person even want to be helped at this point?

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Speaker 4: That's the question.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, we have I feel like, probably the

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Speaker 1: least context on his situation.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, it seems like is.

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Speaker 4: There an update?

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Speaker 2: There is no update?

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Speaker 4: No update, damn.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I mean, I I I'm.

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Speaker 4: Curious what like you know, our audience would.

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Speaker 3: If there's any advice from any sort of what do

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Speaker 3: you guys think? Like, yeah, would you do you do

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Speaker 3: you empathize with the whole reasoning like a life is

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Speaker 3: more important than education? Yeah, which I can see. Or

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Speaker 3: do you think like, hey, this money was for my daughter,

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Speaker 3: I'm not just going to spend it, even thirty grand

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Speaker 3: of it on doing a treatment that may not may

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Speaker 3: or may not work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I wonder here, here's here's here's a different situation. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 3: And I wonder how you would feel about this, because

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Speaker 3: I think it changes it a little bit for me.

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Speaker 3: If everything's the same except instead of addiction, op is

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Speaker 3: suffering from like liver failure or like a heart disease

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Speaker 3: that's like completely not caused by anything that he's doing, right,

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Speaker 3: you know something that's happening. Yeah, you does anything change then?

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Speaker 3: About giving thirty grand? It's like, hey, yeah, my son

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Speaker 3: needs to have heart surgery for thirty grand or he'll die.

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Speaker 2: Here's the difference there.

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Speaker 1: The doctors can say, oh, he has a you know,

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Speaker 1: ninety four chance of survival or whatever.

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Speaker 4: What if it's fifty to fifty Still, it's.

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Speaker 1: Like, yeah, that that I think is way more approachable

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Speaker 1: because it's like, again something that like now I think,

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Speaker 1: like addiction is a disease, Like it's a very it's

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Speaker 1: a very complicated like thing. I don't think it's it's

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Speaker 1: definitely not as clear cut as like, oh, he's just

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Speaker 1: choosing to do this kind of a thing. But at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, there's like something that just happens,

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Speaker 1: like an organ just fails for no reason other than

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Speaker 1: just natural causes, and and this this situation. So I

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Speaker 1: think it's a lot more reasonable and probably a lot

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Speaker 1: more worth compromise because I think the other thing op

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Speaker 1: is thinking about is what happens if sixty grand fails

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Speaker 1: and I've already opened the door for them asking to money,

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Speaker 1: and then it's the rest of it.

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Speaker 2: So it's almost like the tip of the iceberg, and.

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Speaker 3: I could eat, I could easily see it not working

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Speaker 3: and then going down another rabbit.

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Speaker 1: Hole one hundred percent one hundred And I don't think

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Speaker 1: that's fair to everyone who invested in this.

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Speaker 2: It's unfortunately not fair.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, maybe it's not like OPI

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Speaker 1: hasn't given contributing money to help. And it's also like

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Speaker 1: I know that OPI was shutting it down, but like,

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Speaker 1: I feel like there would be at least more room

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Speaker 1: to discuss if the husband had not gone around.

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Speaker 4: In a total a hole move by going.

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Speaker 2: Total a hole move.

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Speaker 1: And now this poor girl who, like you know, it's

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Speaker 1: not just her again, I think it's like all of her,

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Speaker 1: her dad and grandparents. Like now she's like putting a

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Speaker 1: picture on it on a sixteen year old, like on

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Speaker 1: a teenager.

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Speaker 4: It's really fucked up a lot.

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Speaker 1: Not okay, But again, I think we would really love

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Speaker 1: to hear from every all of you guys, if you've

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Speaker 1: experienced something similar, if you have any advice that could

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Speaker 1: help anyone that's going through this, we would definitely appreciate

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Speaker 1: that in the comments below.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, get your answers in the comments, and let's get

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Speaker 3: into this next story.

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Speaker 2: Let's do it.

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Speaker 4: I just told my kids they are inheriting nothing, and

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Speaker 4: they're furious. Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 1: Listen as the wise Gary Vee says, your parents, fuck

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Speaker 1: your parents, but also make money, fuck your children. How

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Speaker 1: did we go left so quick five seconds into the episode.

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Speaker 4: Huh? All right, let's let's keep going.

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Speaker 3: My wife and I are both in our mid forties

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Speaker 3: and work full time. We have three children, twenty female,

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Speaker 3: seventeen female, and eleven male. We've both worked hard to

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Speaker 3: get where we are in our careers, and thankfully that

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Speaker 3: means we're able to provide a good life for our kids.

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Speaker 3: We aren't rich and we don't live beyond our means,

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Speaker 3: but our combined income is three hundred thousand dollars per year.

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Speaker 2: There you go, that's.

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Speaker 1: Pretty good living, decrease taxes, being married, primo primo.

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Speaker 3: Now here's the thing. If we want the traditional route

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Speaker 3: and saved heavily and worked another twenty five years, we

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Speaker 3: could properly retire at a decent age and still leave

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Speaker 3: a sizable inheritance for our kids. The thing is, we

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Speaker 3: don't want that for us or them. We worked hard

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Speaker 3: to get where we are, and we intend to enjoy

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Speaker 3: the rewards of what we have before we're elderly. We

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Speaker 3: also don't want our kids to be counting down the

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Speaker 3: days until we die so they can get our money

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Speaker 3: and never work again. Plan is to retire about the

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Speaker 3: time our son graduates from high school. We'll have enough

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Speaker 3: money saved up to live comfortably and travel more, and

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Speaker 3: we intend to use all our money, every last bit

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Speaker 3: We have a rainy day fund, of course, and we

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Speaker 3: fully plan to use as much of her money as possible.

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Speaker 3: They'll get a portion of what we have left once

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Speaker 3: we both die, but they shouldn't expect anything. We've never

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Speaker 3: really brought this up with any of our kids. For one,

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Speaker 3: it's our money and our business, and for another, they

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Speaker 3: never asked. We did, however, explain that we aren't giving

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Speaker 3: them handouts as adults. We'll pay half of whatever their

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Speaker 3: school ends up costing, and that'll be the last major

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Speaker 3: money we ever give them. I recently had a minor

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Speaker 3: healthcare pre cancerous mole. I'm fine, and the topic came

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Speaker 3: up with our oldness about what our plans are. I

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Speaker 3: explained the money situation, and this really upset her. She

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Speaker 3: accused us of caring more about partying than her and

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Speaker 3: her siblings wellbeing. I explained that we'd rather them make

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Speaker 3: their own way in life like we did and not

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Speaker 3: wait for a handout. She told her sister, and now

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Speaker 3: they're both upset with my wife and I, not just

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Speaker 3: for the inheritance, but for not telling them sooner. I

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Speaker 3: don't think there was any good reason to do that.

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Speaker 3: It isn't their business what happens to other people's money. Still,

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Speaker 3: I'm open to being wrong about that, so is OPDA hole.

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Speaker 1: So it is kind of this weird perverse incentive where

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Speaker 1: it's like, hey, once I die, you get a shipload

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Speaker 1: of money. Yeah, so let's ever thought about it like that?

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Speaker 4: Daddy? Oh have you tried this double greaser big mac

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Speaker 4: ever extra?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna buy you one every

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Speaker 1: day because I love you. Because I love you, I

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Speaker 1: want you to be treated right. Yeah, Dad, don't get up,

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Speaker 1: don't get up to get that beer. Let me get

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Speaker 1: it for you.

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Speaker 2: There we go.

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Speaker 3: In fact, let me let me get you a home

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Speaker 3: delivery service so you never have to go anywhere.

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Speaker 2: A lazy boy.

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Speaker 3: Exercise exercise, just chill. And also did you eat the

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Speaker 3: bacon greaser cheeseburger that I gave you today?

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Speaker 2: Oh? You did you want?

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Speaker 4: Do you want another one? I keep keep it up,

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Speaker 4: keep it up. Oh? And also that all probably fine?

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Speaker 4: Who who listens to doctors anyway?

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Speaker 2: They're quacks.

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Speaker 4: They're quacks.

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Speaker 3: You know, they said we needed to put on you

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Speaker 3: know you masks outside during COVID, So what the fuck

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Speaker 3: did they know?

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Speaker 2: Nothing?

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Speaker 1: Clearly? Yeah, what is your take on inheritance to children.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I I it's at least my right now when I'm

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Speaker 3: thinking about my family, Like I know, my my grandparents

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Speaker 3: saved you know, like probably a few million or something

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Speaker 3: for their retirement, and they do plan on distributing it

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Speaker 3: to all the kids when they die. But there's ten kids,

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Speaker 3: so that like gets distributed. They alluded pretty quick. In

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Speaker 3: terms of my dad, I have not thought about or

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Speaker 3: you to your children, yeah, but like I will yeah,

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Speaker 3: so like get me that. But like in terms of

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Speaker 3: like my dad and my mom, I don't really expect

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Speaker 3: to inherit anything not that like I won't, but I

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Speaker 3: don't have that expectation. Like I'm not waiting like oh shit,

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Speaker 3: there's like money in the coffers or like oh shit

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Speaker 3: the house or whatever, like that's not really something that's

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Speaker 3: on my mind. And so I think it's kind of

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Speaker 3: weird to expect that you would get an inheritance from

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Speaker 3: your your parents, Like it just feels like not my

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Speaker 3: money and not not my thing to worry about, if anything,

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Speaker 3: like the thing I am well I want, like I

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Speaker 3: the thing that is mine to worry about is actually

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Speaker 3: like my parents' end of life care like that I

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Speaker 3: see as on me. Hopefully they have enough money that

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Speaker 3: they can care for it. But I see that as

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Speaker 3: my responsibility. So I honestly think of like it as

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Speaker 3: reverse inheritance. Yeah, like, not only do I have to

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Speaker 3: respect to not inherit money, but I expect to have

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Speaker 3: to pay money as you know, as my parents age.

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Speaker 2: Same.

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Speaker 3: I don't think necessarily that maybe the case, but I

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Speaker 3: don't know. In terms of my own kids, I mean,

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Speaker 3: I yeah, I would want to pass them down something. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I would want to pass like I like, I want

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Speaker 3: to create generational wealth.

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Speaker 4: And all that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, But in terms of like is that is that

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Speaker 3: a mandatory thing for all people to do?

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Speaker 4: Do I expect that?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I was. I was.

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Speaker 1: I was curious because I like, I'm I actually talked

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Speaker 1: to my dad or my dad mentioned to me like,

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Speaker 1: oh like your inheritance or whatever, dada, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna donate it, because.

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Speaker 4: I am going to donate it.

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Speaker 1: I listen, I fully expect to make all the money

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Speaker 1: that I need and then some.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I and I just don't like that.

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Speaker 1: However, Uh, talking to my partner about it, she wants

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Speaker 1: to set up an estate for her family and her

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Speaker 1: her descendants generational wealth speaking. So I've always been I've

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Speaker 1: always been like, do I even kind of like this,

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Speaker 1: like do I want to not that. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I definitely don't want to give my kids inheritance, but

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Speaker 1: I was kind of like on the fence a little bit.

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Speaker 4: Like fuck them, just because it creates a perverse.

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Speaker 2: And those reasons. Yeah, I was like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I will that be like this negative

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Speaker 1: thing if there's like an expectation, especially if they kind

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Speaker 1: of see and start to understand like that they would

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Speaker 1: inherit like everything when I'm gone.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I could also make them like not work or

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Speaker 3: achieve or or explore and kind of like exactly, it

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Speaker 3: like incentivizes this laziness almost.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But I've also always said like, oh, if I have

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Speaker 1: a kid that like wants to be like a wildlife photographer,

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Speaker 1: I'll probably give them just thirty grand a year just

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Speaker 1: so they can live like a completely fine, comfortable and

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Speaker 1: never have to like can go on a vacation, can

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Speaker 1: you know, be okay, not like super rich, but if

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Speaker 1: they choose a profession that like isn't well paying, like

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Speaker 1: I want them to be able to pursue that and

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Speaker 1: like not be broke.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm I've been thinking about it more recently, so I

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Speaker 1: was curious.

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Speaker 2: What that's interesting thought.

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Speaker 4: I kind of liked that idea.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, I mean what I might do is just

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Speaker 3: tell my kids, like, hey, you're not getting a cent ever, right, right,

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Speaker 3: and also like even maybe bring them up to think

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Speaker 3: that we're poor.

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Speaker 2: Right, but here's the problem you have to live for.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna get like like like I'll just like

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Speaker 3: not take any videos or something. I'll take all these

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Speaker 3: vacations our only vacations to the waffle house.

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Speaker 4: Experience.

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Speaker 1: But they have great education because we inherited a grant

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Speaker 1: from their grandparents to pay for their you know, private

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Speaker 1: school and stuff. But now they're thinking about grants and

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Speaker 1: and grandparents inheritance.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but that's like that's just too far just

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Speaker 4: for school.

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Speaker 1: Wait, if you got this for us, then this is

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep it under wraps. I think you cannot

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Speaker 1: hide that ship. I think that will be impossible. I

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Speaker 1: have I have friends that have no idea how much

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Speaker 1: they'll inherit. I have friends that like say, like, you

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Speaker 1: can't a degree. One of my friends says said, I

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Speaker 1: think I'm inheriting between one and forty million dollars. But

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Speaker 1: that's see, that's like, you know, your parents are probably

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Speaker 1: are above middle class. For lack of a better way

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Speaker 1: of classifying it, I'm talking like, are they inheriting debt or.

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Speaker 3: Like, yeah, well, I mean but I think I think,

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Speaker 3: like the difference between like one million dollar inheritance and

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Speaker 3: like a forty million dollar inheritance is like massive.

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Speaker 1: It is massive. But if we're starting at one million,

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Speaker 1: that's when that's when. Cause like even if they're not like,

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Speaker 1: oh I can retire on this, they're like, oh I

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Speaker 1: can chill. Yeah you know, so I don't know. I

393
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Speaker 1: think I don't know that you can chill on one million.

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Speaker 1: Not that you're chilling, but you're like, all right, I

395
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Speaker 1: am going to which is kind of a good thing

396
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Speaker 1: mindset maybe, but it's like I am never going to

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Speaker 1: work a job that I like. I am like you

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Speaker 1: like and you're like, I want to work at Falaffel house.

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Speaker 4: Fucking do it?

400
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you get you still have to work, but you

401
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 1: have to think about right now, like what if there

402
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 1: what you worked at a Flaffel place right, I did,

403
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 1: mister legendary the shut down, by the way, fuck those guys.

404
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 2: But I don't know. You know, I'm actually very curious.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of people here, we have a

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Speaker 1: lot of parents out of moms that watch the show.

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Speaker 1: So how are you thinking about for your children? What

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Speaker 1: your children plan to inherit from you? Yes, the exact

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00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:25,200
Speaker 1: dollar amounts, and how you're telling.

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Speaker 4: Them about that.

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Speaker 2: Whoever has the highest amount wins.

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00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, and donate it to Okop, there we go.

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Speaker 2: I like that.

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00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,399
Speaker 3: Actually, maybe we've convinced you that you shouldn't give it

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00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 3: to your kids and you should donate to us.

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Speaker 2: We are a much better cause. I can tell you that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we will keep this content coming for you. We'll

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Speaker 3: make a whole show. If you donate a million dollars,

419
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Speaker 3: We'll make a hole, make a whole show specifically about

420
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Speaker 3: your life and only about you.

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Speaker 2: We will. That's not a joke.

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Speaker 4: That's not a joke.

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00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,359
Speaker 3: If you give us a million dollars, we will create

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Speaker 3: a whole show based on your life stories. We will

425
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Speaker 3: interview you once a week and all of your stories

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Speaker 3: and put them into Reddit format, maybe once a month.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, But speaking of giving the people, more content.

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Speaker 4: Let's get into this next story. Oh,