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Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effects. Back there, back there, Yo, yo,

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Speaker 1: what up. We're back on the add It's your girl

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Speaker 1: just hilarious with another episode of Carefully Reckless. Now listen.

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Speaker 1: Today's topic is mental health, mental illness and mental health

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Speaker 1: and how important it is to get ahold of it

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Speaker 1: before it gets out of control. Now, get your tea,

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Speaker 1: get your halls, and get all of that ship because

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Speaker 1: the story time. Now, I went to a predominantly white

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Speaker 1: high school. I know I said this a couple of

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Speaker 1: times and previous episodes, but just in case you're a

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Speaker 1: new listener, there's a fun fact about me. Now, back

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Speaker 1: in high school, I went to prom with one of

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Speaker 1: my white homeboys. No, we didn't date. He was just

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Speaker 1: my homie. He didn't want to take his girlfriend. I

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Speaker 1: didn't have a boyfriend at the time, so he took me.

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Speaker 1: He was cool. I loved him, and I also loved

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Speaker 1: his mom as well. His mom was very, very close

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Speaker 1: to me. I grew to love her. She loved her kids,

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Speaker 1: she loved her family. She had a twin sister that

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Speaker 1: she also loved dearly. Now I can tell his mom

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Speaker 1: was off a little bit, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And she did have mental issues, but she was always

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Speaker 1: there as a mom for them kids. She was always

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Speaker 1: there as a sister for her twins. She was always

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Speaker 1: there as you know, like a confidant for her children's friends.

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Speaker 1: All of that. She was the cool mom. We hung

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Speaker 1: out at her house and everything like that. She did

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Speaker 1: not let us drink, She didn't let us smoke, weird

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Speaker 1: en nothing. We just was there to have fun. Now,

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Speaker 1: our twin, on the other hand, was the other type.

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Speaker 1: You know. We could go to her house and smoke.

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Speaker 1: You can go to her house and have bonfires and ship.

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Speaker 1: We can. We can go to our house and and

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Speaker 1: drink with her and all that type of ship. She

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Speaker 1: felt like, if they're gonna do it outside, they might

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Speaker 1: as well do it in here. They're safer high and

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Speaker 1: drunk in here. A lot of parents think like that.

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Speaker 1: My parents, fuck no, whoop my ass every time. But

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Speaker 1: I went over there to have fun. I was with

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Speaker 1: a lot of white kids. I was one of two

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Speaker 1: black kids amongst twenty white friends. You know. Now, her

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Speaker 1: kids didn't have any issues. She had two boys. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say her name, because this was a

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Speaker 1: very tragic situation and I just rather not now if

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Speaker 1: you know, you know, if you went to high school

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Speaker 1: with me, you know who it is. And it was

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Speaker 1: very sad situation. One day, my family had dinner at

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Speaker 1: their house, my parents, they had a dinner and invited

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Speaker 1: some of my friend's parents from school. You know. Now,

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Speaker 1: the guy I went to prom with his mom came,

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Speaker 1: her twin came as well. Everything was fine. We noticed

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Speaker 1: that my friend's mom was in the bathroom for a

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Speaker 1: long time, so my mom went up and checked on them.

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Speaker 1: She came back and told me everything was fine with her.

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Speaker 1: She just you know, she had to use the bathroom,

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Speaker 1: just getting the mind together. We noticed that she was

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Speaker 1: not right in the head that night. She was going

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Speaker 1: through a mood. She was having like I would call

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Speaker 1: it one of her mental episodes. She was down. She

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Speaker 1: would get down sometimes and did not know where she

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Speaker 1: had pop out of that ship and be just happy

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Speaker 1: and jolly like always beautiful person inside and out. She

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Speaker 1: just had she had her mental issues though, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And that night we could tell something's

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Speaker 1: wrong with it. But by the end of the dinner

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Speaker 1: she was bad good, She was good. The next day

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Speaker 1: we go to school. We didn't see her kids. Okay, cool, whatever,

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Speaker 1: But her twin sister had children that went to the

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Speaker 1: same school too. We didn't see them either. All right, cool,

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Speaker 1: I ain't hearing nothing that day. Next day, didn't see

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Speaker 1: them in school again. I drove over to my friend's

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Speaker 1: house after school, me and a couple of my other friends.

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Speaker 1: Right now, the house we went to was the more

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Speaker 1: lenient twin, the twin that we could the party house.

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Speaker 1: You know, we can go smoke and drink and ship cool.

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Speaker 1: We go over there because I didn't remember the other

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Speaker 1: twins address, but I remembered exactly how to get to

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Speaker 1: the party twins house because we party there all the time,

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Speaker 1: almost every day at the school. Now, pull up to

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Speaker 1: the house. It's a lot of cars. Now I recognize

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Speaker 1: these cars. These are other friends that that go to

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Speaker 1: school with us. They had the same idea, let's go over.

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Speaker 1: Our friends ain't been in school, we ain't hurting nothing,

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Speaker 1: we ain't get invited over for party in the last

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Speaker 1: two days. Let's go. It's like seven or eight cars

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Speaker 1: out there. We walk in. Everybody's quiet. We hear her screen,

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Speaker 1: we hear crying. I go to the bath firm X

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Speaker 1: my homegirl Cad. I'm like, what's wrong, what's wrong? What happened?

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Speaker 1: My homeboys? Mom killed herself, killed herself. She left the note,

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Speaker 1: but she killed herself. She apologized to both of her boys,

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Speaker 1: her twin, and her nieces and nephews. She apologized greatly, deeply,

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Speaker 1: but she couldn't deal with it. She was running from something,

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Speaker 1: Something was fucking with her, and she could not escape it.

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Speaker 1: She put a bullet in a fucking head in her

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Speaker 1: garage and left a note next to her that should

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Speaker 1: have said, and it still brings me two tears till

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Speaker 1: this day. Because she was mentally ill and nobody gave

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Speaker 1: a funk. Nobody noticed, nobody tried to get her help, nobody,

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Speaker 1: nobody did nothing about that. You understand what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: She loved everybody else, always looked out for everybody else,

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Speaker 1: as mentally strained as she was, as mentally draining as

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Speaker 1: it probably was to have to live a facade, have

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Speaker 1: to paint a picture that everything is perfect, but under

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Speaker 1: it is dirty concrete and mold and dirt. And what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying is she was mentally fucked up, and she

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Speaker 1: still found a way to care for everybody, but in return,

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Speaker 1: nobody cared enough to get her help. And it's like

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Speaker 1: we noticed it. Everybody noticed it, her sister, her her parents, everybody,

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Speaker 1: they noticed it, her kids. Teachers like noticed that, my parents.

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Speaker 1: Everybody noticed that, her kids, but nobody did anything. Nobody

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Speaker 1: did anything. Nobody ever sat down and said, babe, you

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Speaker 1: want to go see this person. You need to see

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Speaker 1: a therapist. Do you want to talk to me? Do

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Speaker 1: you want to open up? Do you what are you

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Speaker 1: feeling right now? Why do you get so down as everything?

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Speaker 1: Instead we would let her tell us, oh, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: just not feeling well today, But we knew it was

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Speaker 1: something more than that. Sad day, a very very sad day.

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Speaker 1: Her kids were highly affected. They didn't return to school.

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Speaker 1: They finished the rest of the school, yeah, at home school.

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Speaker 1: They were so fucked up by that she put a

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Speaker 1: bullet in her head. She just could not deal with

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Speaker 1: it anymore. That's what she wrote in the note. If

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Speaker 1: you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then

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Speaker 1: we'll be right back. So that brings me to carefully

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Speaker 1: reckless discussion. When people are mentally ill and you see it,

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Speaker 1: you gotta say something. You gotta say something. You cannot

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Speaker 1: ignore people. You gotta check up on people. You have

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Speaker 1: to start noticing their patterns and and how fast people change,

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Speaker 1: and and just different different patterns. You know, because when

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Speaker 1: you hang around somebody, or you're around them, or when

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Speaker 1: you date them, or whatever, your sibling, whoever, where it

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Speaker 1: is who has these issues, if you've been knowing them

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Speaker 1: for a long time, you start to notice certain things

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Speaker 1: about them. If they act one way one moment and

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Speaker 1: that's what you used to and then they totally flipped,

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Speaker 1: you gotta notice that. That's a sign. You cannot ignore signs.

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Speaker 1: You gotta check up on people. You have to go

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Speaker 1: the extra mile, even if you're getting on the motherfucker's nerves.

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Speaker 1: Know what's wrong, what's going on, what's going on? What's this? Why?

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Speaker 1: Why are you feeling this way? You need to talk

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Speaker 1: to me, sit down and talk. If they run, you chase,

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Speaker 1: they ask you really need to help somebody with mental illness.

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Speaker 1: You don't know how you could possibly save somebody's life

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Speaker 1: by just paying attention to them, taking the initiative to help.

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Speaker 1: You don't know how you can save a life. You

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Speaker 1: can change somebody's life. I feel like we could have

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Speaker 1: definitely saved that woman, my friend's mom. We could have

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Speaker 1: gotten her help. We as been a isn't everybody? I

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Speaker 1: mean we Because I was a part of the week,

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Speaker 1: I would hang around her. I would be in her

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Speaker 1: house and listen. She was a type of woman. She

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Speaker 1: would come over to our friend's house, the party twin,

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Speaker 1: and she would be like, guys, stop drinking, yo. She

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Speaker 1: will pull out the liquor. She would tell everybody, now,

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Speaker 1: put those blunts out, put those joints out. No, no,

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Speaker 1: like she was not. She was a great mother, a

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Speaker 1: great mother. She would beef with her twin for letting

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Speaker 1: us party in our house. Their children, they're just fucking children.

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Speaker 1: They're drinking this poison and they they shouldn't be. They

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Speaker 1: should wait until they go to college to do this.

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Speaker 1: Their children. Why are you letting them do whatever they want?

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Speaker 1: Their their innocent children. She was such a great person.

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Speaker 1: Do you understand? Of course, her and her twin had

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Speaker 1: two different ways of living, raised in the same house.

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Speaker 1: One was just more strict. And she was a very

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Speaker 1: spiritual woman as well. Ain't that crazy? Isn't that amazing?

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Speaker 1: She used to pray for us. Oh my god. No,

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Speaker 1: she wasn't a radical at all, don't get it messed up.

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Speaker 1: But she definitely embodied spirituality as a Christian woman. She

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Speaker 1: definitely prayed, she went to church. She is a good woman.

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Speaker 1: And even with all of that, she was still mentally ill.

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Speaker 1: She still had her own demons that she was fighting,

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Speaker 1: and we didn't know how to help her fight them,

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Speaker 1: so we just let it be. We would let her

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Speaker 1: lie to us. You cannot do that now, Listen. Most

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Speaker 1: mentally ill people are in denial, so we have to

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Speaker 1: help them. They can't often even think for themselves because

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Speaker 1: they're not in their right mind. How can you expect

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Speaker 1: someone to want help for themselves if they're not even

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Speaker 1: in the right state of mind to even know just

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Speaker 1: how fucked up they are. A lot of them know

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Speaker 1: that they suffer from mental illness, but they don't know

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Speaker 1: the severity of it because they're not mentally aware all

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Speaker 1: the time. Mental illness can drive you to do crazy

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Speaker 1: things that can drive you to suicide, drugs, homicide. They

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Speaker 1: may even start killing other people, hurting other people, inflicting

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Speaker 1: pain on people around them because they're not in their

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Speaker 1: right mind. And she can get very sad and out

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Speaker 1: of hand. That's why I don't care what y'all say.

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Speaker 1: I do applaud Kim Kardashians for sticking by Kanye West.

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Speaker 1: We didn't know what that woman went through. We didn't know.

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Speaker 1: People just hate them girls because they're their culture vultures.

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Speaker 1: So people say, or they you know, they they're taking

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Speaker 1: our black men and the old the Kardashian curse. Na. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: Kanye was fucked up, a fun him. Okay, he's been

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Speaker 1: fucked up since his mother died, and he's gonna be

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Speaker 1: fucked up until he gets the help that he needs

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Speaker 1: for himself. We can't keep putting ship on the Kardashians.

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Speaker 1: We can't put nothing on Kim. We can't do that.

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Speaker 1: Wake the funk up. She loved him. We saw that

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Speaker 1: she had what how many kids? They got five? Four kids.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry if it's just about me being a culture

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Speaker 1: vulture and wanting to get money off this man, or

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Speaker 1: whatever the funk y'all believe she wanted from this man,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lay down and have a child. No,

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Speaker 1: she didn't physically have all four of them, but she

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Speaker 1: had children, four children by this man, and y'all want

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Speaker 1: me to believe y'all want to believe in y'all sick

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Speaker 1: ass minds that she cursed him or she didn't really

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Speaker 1: love him. I'd be saying in the comments, like you know,

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Speaker 1: I'd be saying all types of crazy ship. Y'all are

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Speaker 1: blaming her, and a lot of people, not y'all, you know,

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Speaker 1: but a lot of y'all blame her for this divorce. No,

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Speaker 1: do you know the strain that was put on their marriage?

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Speaker 1: Could you imagine being with a mentally ill person who

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Speaker 1: doesn't even want help, who constantly embarrasses you and your

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Speaker 1: family and y'all children, and himself online when you have

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Speaker 1: an episode, you go to the internet. Kanye is also

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Speaker 1: a very manipulating person. We have those mentally ill people

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Speaker 1: as well who are also manipulating. He uses his mental

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Speaker 1: illness a lot to get us to buy his ship,

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Speaker 1: his shoes, his albums, this whatever. Now, I'm a Kanye

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Speaker 1: fan by far, Please don't get it sucked up. But

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Speaker 1: also I know for a fact that he uses his

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Speaker 1: mental illness a lot, and a lot of these people do.

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Speaker 1: But that does not mean that they're not mental ill.

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Speaker 1: They just know how to play it. Trust me, he's

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Speaker 1: very very ill, or he was. I don't know. We

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Speaker 1: haven't heard anything from him since, But I'm just saying

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he's getting the proper help now.

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Speaker 1: It's really good. If he is Orlando Brown, we have

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Speaker 1: seen first hand his mental illness. Now he has help

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Speaker 1: and now he's doing better than he was. But he

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Speaker 1: had friends that would record him and put the videos

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Speaker 1: online instead of trying to help him. Now, I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying that they never try to help. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but the last thing I'm gonna do is know that

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Speaker 1: I have a friend that's mentally ill and record them

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Speaker 1: having an episode of putting it online. It's a difference

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Speaker 1: between raising awareness and then just playing down right exposing somebody.

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Speaker 1: And that's what a lot of people in Orlando's life did.

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Speaker 1: They exposed him the videos that they would record and

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Speaker 1: put out there that would hit the media. Dude, think

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Speaker 1: that helped him to see that ship? No, it didn't.

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Speaker 1: Mental illness is a very serious thing. You have to

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Speaker 1: make sure you check on people, you help them, and

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Speaker 1: don't do it for the fucking cloud. Don't record it

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Speaker 1: when you do it. Some ship is just better left unposted, unsaid.

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Speaker 1: It's not for everybody to know. Also, we have social media.

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Speaker 1: Social media, it doesn't help with mental illness. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: help mental health at all. We got these trolls, these

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Speaker 1: people that hide behind these fucking accounts. They are cruel,

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Speaker 1: They say what they want and they and and nine

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Speaker 1: times out attend the motherfucker would never say it to

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Speaker 1: your face. A lot of these trolls online they're even

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Speaker 1: mentally ill as well. So before you clap back out

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Speaker 1: a troll, just think about where they are mentally. That's

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Speaker 1: why y'all don't see me clapping back too often anymore.

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Speaker 1: You have to take an account. Everybody ain't really right

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Speaker 1: up there, and a lot of people inflict pain and

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Speaker 1: cruel insults on other people because that's where they're feeling.

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Speaker 1: They can't look in the mirror and realize how ugly

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Speaker 1: the inside of them is, so they project that ship

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Speaker 1: on other people. Those people need help as well. You know,

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Speaker 1: I deal with it. I deal with it a lot,

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Speaker 1: but I'm very strong. I got tough skin. Of course,

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Speaker 1: I break down sometimes, not ever from a motherfucker online,

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Speaker 1: but real life ship gets to me. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. That's the ship I let break me down,

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Speaker 1: not a motherfucker sitting behind a fake page. People want

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Speaker 1: to see people fall more than anything. These days. Negativity

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Speaker 1: fuels evil. You would rather hear something negative about a

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Speaker 1: person then to complement a positive. A lot of younger kids,

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Speaker 1: a lot of teenagers, suffer from mental illness that stems

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Speaker 1: from society rules, social media, society rules. Kids have committed

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Speaker 1: suicide trying to live up to these views and and

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Speaker 1: societal rules. A lot of teenagers are damaged by this ship.

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Speaker 1: The Internet is a very evil fucking place. It's a

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Speaker 1: gift and a curse. I say all the time for

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Speaker 1: people like me. It's a gift for people like me,

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Speaker 1: it's a curse as well. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I make my money online. I'm an influencer. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm a public figure. Growing up, all everybody want to

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Speaker 1: do is be famous. Being famous was like a goal

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Speaker 1: in African American dream. Everybody wants to be famous. Until now.

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Speaker 1: Being famous ain't so fun, especially not now, like social

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Speaker 1: media influences so much. The influence is so strong. The

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Speaker 1: Internet controls a lot of people's minds. That leads to

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Speaker 1: mental illness as well. I don't know if y'all listening

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Speaker 1: can understand what I'm getting at and where I'm going

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Speaker 1: a lot of social trends, a lot of people let

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Speaker 1: it depict their life. You let the internet dictate your life.

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Speaker 1: Just speaking in general about people that I've seen it

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Speaker 1: has affected firsthand. You have to help people. You know

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Speaker 1: how they say, hurt people, hurt people, helped people, help people.

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Speaker 1: You know, if I help you over here with your

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Speaker 1: mental illness, you can help somebody else with theirs, and

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Speaker 1: then that person can help somebody else. Help people, help people.

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Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying. It may sound crazy, but

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Speaker 1: I know what I'm getting at, and so do y'all.

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Speaker 1: Now we got a commercial, and if you click off

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Speaker 1: of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen.

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Speaker 1: That brings me to just fix my mess. Now, as

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Speaker 1: y'all know, I go online hashtag carefully reckless, and I

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Speaker 1: ask your personal experiences with these topics that I talked

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Speaker 1: about on Carefully Reckless, and I said, hey, guys, how

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Speaker 1: has mental health affected you or someone close to you

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Speaker 1: in an unhealthy way? Have you ignored signs and now

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Speaker 1: regret it. I'm gonna read off a few Now, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to leave all of these people anonymous. I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to disclose anybody's names, even though they asked me to.

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Speaker 1: I'm still not one, beautiful lady said, I believe that

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Speaker 1: my sister has bipolar and she refuses to get diagnosed.

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Speaker 1: So she had a real low day recently and messed

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Speaker 1: with me until I smacked her in the face and

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Speaker 1: she couldn't take it, so we all got kicked out

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Speaker 1: of our house. She cares about her money, but she

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Speaker 1: does not care about her mental and I hope it

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Speaker 1: just doesn't make her crash and burn. She's completely ignoring

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Speaker 1: because of her status. She doesn't want to be thought

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Speaker 1: of as someone that has mental illness, but she's clearly

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Speaker 1: sick now. Listen, that brings back the denial factor. Nobody

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Speaker 1: wants to suffer mentally. Nobody does so a lot of

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Speaker 1: people try to sweep it under the rug. But a

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Speaker 1: lot of things you can't control mentally. You can't control

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Speaker 1: your illness. You can't. If you don't get any help,

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Speaker 1: you can't control it. So I do totally understand, but

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Speaker 1: you still gotta try. You smacked her in the face,

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Speaker 1: you may have to smack a few more times before

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Speaker 1: she realized that she has to get diagnosed, and she

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Speaker 1: has to be helped. Go after her, baby, Go after her.

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Speaker 1: That's your sister. You can ave her life. It's not

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Speaker 1: easy dealing with people who are mentally ill. No, it's not.

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Speaker 1: But how do you think they feel? We still have

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Speaker 1: to suit up and boot up and get it together

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Speaker 1: for them. I'm gonna read another one, Jess. My mental

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Speaker 1: illness has caused me to lose a very special female.

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Speaker 1: There we go, look at Kanye. I don't know who

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Speaker 1: filed the voice. I'm not sure. At first they said

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Speaker 1: Kanye did, then it came out that that Kim did.

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Speaker 1: It can cause you to lose people in your life.

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Speaker 1: It can cause you to lose your children. It can

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Speaker 1: cause you to lose yourself. Get help, baby, Get help.

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Speaker 1: You know. The first step is knowing, coming to terms

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Speaker 1: with it. Okay, I'm mentally ill. At least you know

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Speaker 1: you confessed. You already told me, you admitted to knowing

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Speaker 1: that you're mentally ill. Now go get help so you

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Speaker 1: can go get that female back if you can. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna read another one. Yes, Jess, it has you being

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Speaker 1: busy when your body is tired, exactly, And I think

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Speaker 1: that's what happened to my friend's mom. She was so tired,

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Speaker 1: her body was tired. She couldn't deal with it, so

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Speaker 1: she killed herself. That's what we don't want a Marie

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Speaker 1: one more. Ignoring my mental health resulted in me blowing

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Speaker 1: the dope, smoking heavy. I did it to feel more

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Speaker 1: calm and at peace, not realizing I was depressed. Now,

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Speaker 1: when I go through challenges, I try to be sober

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Speaker 1: so I can actually push through and not bandage it.

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Speaker 1: That's very, very, very sad, but it's very common and

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Speaker 1: mental illness people turn to drugs. I said it at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of the episode. People turned to two bad habits.

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Speaker 1: People even hear voices, they try to get them out.

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Speaker 1: Mental illness has different levels. We need to help these

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Speaker 1: people conquer these battles before it gets to the worst level.

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Speaker 1: I need you to get help, baby. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to say your name, but I need you to get help.

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Speaker 1: This person just admitted that they they started a drug habit.

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Speaker 1: They was smoking dope just to escape, but not realizing

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Speaker 1: when you come down off that high, you back where

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Speaker 1: you was. You gotta get the help. Now. All the

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Speaker 1: people that wrote me, they never said anything about help.

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Speaker 1: I've read a lot and I've set with this overnight.

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Speaker 1: It's sad how many people deal with this in our country.

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Speaker 1: And I'm right up under our nose. You don't know

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Speaker 1: how you can save a life by helping somebody. Just help,

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Speaker 1: Just check on people. Pay more attention two your spouses,

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Speaker 1: your kids, your children, your parents, your family members, your friends,

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Speaker 1: your boss, your co workers. Pay attention to people. Pay

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Speaker 1: more attention. A lot of people may call it nosy

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Speaker 1: or my my business. Nah, it's a difference between paying

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Speaker 1: attention and being nosy. Sometimes you gotta be fucking nosy

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Speaker 1: to get to the bottom of a situation to help somebody,

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Speaker 1: because they nobody going to offer up that they're mentally ill.

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Speaker 1: You gotta figure it out. So please, let's just come

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Speaker 1: together as a people and pay more attention and help people.

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Speaker 1: And on that note, I'm going to end this episode

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Speaker 1: of Carefully Reckless. I hope this has helped someone. I

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Speaker 1: hope this has touched someone. If you feel like you

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Speaker 1: need someone to just listen to you, d m me. No,

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Speaker 1: I can't give you my number. I love you, but

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Speaker 1: I can't give you my number. But I will send

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Speaker 1: voice notes all day to you. And if you know

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Speaker 1: me and you're one of my fans. You know, I

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Speaker 1: send voice notes to fans all the time. And just

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Speaker 1: like that, I concluded, and I love y'all because y'all

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Speaker 1: love me. And next week I'll be back with another

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Speaker 1: episode of Carefully Reckless and then my deepest Pam voice

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Speaker 1: yet sexy and be like, just you got your ass, nigga,

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Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. I've been, I'm hit on my

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Speaker 1: cash told us i've been. I don't know what get

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Speaker 1: like snuffing. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart

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Speaker 1: Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from my

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Speaker 1: heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.