WEBVTT - Are your routines routine?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to ask yourself whether your routines are routine.

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<v Speaker 1>If they are not, figure out why not, and adjust

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<v Speaker 1>as needed, or at least update your perception of your life.

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<v Speaker 1>I often hear from listeners about their struggles with time management. Recently,

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<v Speaker 1>one person said she wanted her routines to actually be routine.

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<v Speaker 1>I get that so many people have visions of their routines,

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<v Speaker 1>but a little time tracking reveals that the routine is

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<v Speaker 1>the exception rather than the default. Sometimes people construct whole

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<v Speaker 1>narratives about their lives based on routines that are not

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<v Speaker 1>actually routine. I have written a lot about morning routines

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<v Speaker 1>over the years, and I eventually started asking people how

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<v Speaker 1>often their beautiful routines actually happened. Sometimes it was every day,

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<v Speaker 1>but often it wasn't, even if the person would have

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<v Speaker 1>told you the routine was a daily thing. This can

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<v Speaker 1>go in the other direction too, by the way, a

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<v Speaker 1>person can construct a woe is Me narrative of always

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<v Speaker 1>spending their Saturdays on chores, and then I get a

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<v Speaker 1>time log with a Saturday spent with friends and the

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<v Speaker 1>person tells me this never happens, except it did. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure you have some of these routines that are not

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<v Speaker 1>actually routine in your life. You theoretically run every Monday, Wednesday,

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<v Speaker 1>and Friday before work, but the last time this happened

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<v Speaker 1>was a couple of weeks ago. Or maybe your weekly

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<v Speaker 1>meal prep routine involves planning the menu, grocery shopping, and

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<v Speaker 1>chopping veggies on Sunday afternoons, but that only happens when

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have anything else to do on Sundays, and

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<v Speaker 1>you almost always do have other plans. You call your

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<v Speaker 1>grandmother every Sunday on the way home from church, except

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<v Speaker 1>for those Sundays when you don't go to church, which

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<v Speaker 1>turns out to be most of them. If you realize

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<v Speaker 1>that some of your routines aren't routine, this doesn't need

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<v Speaker 1>to be a gotcha moment. I think it is simply

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<v Speaker 1>interesting data about your life and your interests and your priorities.

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<v Speaker 1>It might be helpful to figure out why the routine

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<v Speaker 1>isn't routine. It could be that you don't truly care

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<v Speaker 1>about the routine. You may feel like other people meal plan,

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<v Speaker 1>so you decide that you too should develop a Sunday

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<v Speaker 1>meal planning routine. But the truth is that your family

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<v Speaker 1>likes simple meals and you can get home at five

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<v Speaker 1>point thirty and easily get dinner on the table by six.

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<v Speaker 1>You like to do other stuff on the weekends. If

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<v Speaker 1>that is the case, then feel free to let this

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<v Speaker 1>routine go. Or perhaps your routines aren't aligned with your priorities.

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<v Speaker 1>You might think it would be wise to aim for

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<v Speaker 1>routine of unloading the dishwasher and starting a load of

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<v Speaker 1>laundry while your kids are eating breakfast before school, but

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<v Speaker 1>your top priority is being present and connected with your kids.

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<v Speaker 1>You may find that you consistently sit down to have

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<v Speaker 1>a more connected conversation. I don't think that's actually a problem. Instead,

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<v Speaker 1>figure out some other time when you can unload the

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<v Speaker 1>dishwasher and start the laundry. Sometimes the problem is that

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<v Speaker 1>the routine is too ambitious. You may be trying to

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<v Speaker 1>fit more into some part of your day than can

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<v Speaker 1>actually fit, which is why the routine isn't routine. Perhaps

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<v Speaker 1>you can pare down your routine to what is most important.

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<v Speaker 1>If you don't have time to write a full three

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<v Speaker 1>morning pages your journal in the morning, you could elect

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<v Speaker 1>to just write a paragraph, and perhaps you would find

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<v Speaker 1>that more sustainable. If your routines aren't routine, that is fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Some things don't deserve to be routine. Sometimes routines can

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<v Speaker 1>be simpler. Sometimes you just need to change your story.

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<v Speaker 1>But it is good to be aware so we can

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<v Speaker 1>make rational choices about life, rather than thinking something should

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<v Speaker 1>happen more often, or thinking that it does happen more

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<v Speaker 1>often than it actually does. In the meantime, this is Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've

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<v Speaker 1>got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at

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<v Speaker 1>Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit

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<v Speaker 1>the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

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<v Speaker 1>your favorite shows.