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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: My sister is already pushing my limits now she wants

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Speaker 2: to bring her children.

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Speaker 3: Stop pushing my buttons.

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Speaker 2: Do not push it to the limit. So my sister

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Speaker 2: lives in a house literally next door to our parents,

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Speaker 2: and I live in a large city about forty five

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Speaker 2: minutes away from there. Subburdso, my sister has two kids,

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Speaker 2: eight female, five male, and was a military wife but

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Speaker 2: was widowed he got in a car accident didn't happen

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Speaker 2: when he was in action. She has gone back to

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Speaker 2: school and gotten a degree in it and is very

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Speaker 2: good with computers, tech and math. So that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user, My sister makes

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Speaker 2: me crazy. And if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay story Time subredit and

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Speaker 2: submit them there.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, there aren't really jobs where she is anymore, not many,

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Speaker 2: so she is having to look in the big city

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Speaker 2: where I am. Well, she got a job, but she

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to move her kids out until the end

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Speaker 2: of the school year to make sure the job works

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Speaker 2: out and also make it smoother for them, So she

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Speaker 2: devised a plan to stay with me during the week

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Speaker 2: in the city and let our parents watch the kids

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Speaker 2: during the week. My parents are thrilled. Being grandparents is

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Speaker 2: their favorite thing ever, and they love taking care of

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Speaker 2: the kids. And I'm perfectly okay with it, except my

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Speaker 2: sister is the worst housed guest ever. Here are some issues.

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Speaker 2: My husband and I are child free, and I'm the

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Speaker 2: older sister, so it's clear we're not having kids. We

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Speaker 2: also made it clear when this agreement was made that

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Speaker 2: we didn't want her kids staying overnight in our home.

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Speaker 2: They never have and it's not a home for kids. Instead,

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Speaker 2: what a home for kids do? They just leave sharp

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Speaker 2: objects anywhere, and it's like the.

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Speaker 4: Outlet, it's not a home for kids.

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Speaker 3: You can't have your kids over.

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Speaker 2: The outlets have tiny neon signs over them.

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Speaker 4: We put all our forks next to the outlets.

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Speaker 2: We leave them inside.

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Speaker 4: We sharpen them every day.

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Speaker 2: We take a little angle grinder and we sharpen up

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Speaker 2: the corners of every service in our house.

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Speaker 3: There's also a bunch of holes that you can fall into.

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Speaker 2: And also we've got a guy just welding stuff in

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Speaker 2: the middle of the living room.

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Speaker 3: Also, penny Wise is in our sewers. So it's just

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Speaker 3: not safe for kid. It's just not a home for kids.

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Speaker 2: There's a river of lava upstairs. We don't talk about it.

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Speaker 2: The contractor said it's not fixable.

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Speaker 4: The hwo I said we couldn't take it out. Okay,

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Speaker 4: We tried, okay.

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Speaker 2: Instead of keeping the normal routine for her winter break,

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Speaker 2: since she still had to work one of the two

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Speaker 2: weeks the kids were off, she tried to bring her

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Speaker 2: kids here for a full week. She just arrived with

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Speaker 2: the kids, so they had to stay the night, and

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Speaker 2: she threw a fit when we told her this could

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Speaker 2: not stand for the week. She bad talked us to

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Speaker 2: my parents and her kids over it, which is whack,

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Speaker 2: and complained endless about how heartless we were to keep

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Speaker 2: her away from her kids. She also previously to this,

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Speaker 2: had her daughter over several times when her daughter was sick,

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Speaker 2: and one time, since it was a day my husband

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Speaker 2: had off, she even wanted to go to work and

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Speaker 2: have him watch her while she was home sick. He

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Speaker 2: refused and went out for the day, but that was ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: She also asked me to stay home with the kids

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Speaker 2: since she was new at her job. But I'm not

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Speaker 2: sure why my niece needed to be dragged into the

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Speaker 2: city sick. Why not just leave her with my parents.

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Speaker 2: They're still relatively young, spry, and have no issues taking

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Speaker 2: care of them, So why would a time when the

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Speaker 2: child is sick be appropriate to bring her to our place?

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Speaker 2: Another weekend with approval when the kids had a Monday

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Speaker 2: off and so did I. She had the kids stay

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Speaker 2: Saturday and Sunday night, and I took them to the

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Speaker 2: zoo for the day on Monday while my sister was

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Speaker 2: at work. We don't hate her kids. We just feel

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Speaker 2: she uses them to cross boundaries.

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Speaker 3: I mean absolutely. If you're saying, hey, we can't take

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Speaker 3: care of the kids and she just drops them off,

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Speaker 3: yeah she's crossing boundaries.

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Speaker 2: Yes exactly.

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Speaker 3: You got one of those salt boundaries and she's crossing it.

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Speaker 2: And look, it's not child friendly. Is this a case

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Speaker 2: of op like maybe just like not liking the kids.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. It sounds like it's like they were okay,

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Speaker 2: like Timeline, it was fine. They don't like the kids. However,

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Speaker 2: even if that was the case.

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Speaker 4: Fine, it's fine, that's the case.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is not op's responsibility to take care of

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Speaker 3: these kids.

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Speaker 2: And then it's also just doubly goos to be like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you don't want me looking after your kids. I won't

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Speaker 2: like them, yeah, and they don't like no one's gonna

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Speaker 2: have a good time.

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Speaker 3: A very fair excuse to give anyone who says, hey,

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Speaker 3: can you babiesit my kids?

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Speaker 2: No? Sorry, no, no, why can't you. I won't treat

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Speaker 2: them very well because I don't like children. They will

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Speaker 2: annoy me quickly and I will be hostile. And it's like, okay, well,

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Speaker 2: if you know that about yourself, don't watch kids.

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Speaker 4: Watch kids.

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Speaker 2: Maybe don't have them either.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, probably not.

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Speaker 2: And that sounds like that's what the plan is. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so anyways, real back into the story. She's also really messy.

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Speaker 2: The baby, well I was, I was assuming the sister,

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Speaker 2: but I bet you the eight and five year olds yeah,

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Speaker 2: are also not the tidiest, always making a mess. She

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Speaker 2: is really messy. I mean, her own house was always beautiful,

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Speaker 2: so I don't get it. But she has literally not

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Speaker 2: bothered to wash a single dish that she's used. Start

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Speaker 2: the dishwasher, and she throws her laundry in with mine,

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Speaker 2: even though my husband and I don't even have common laundry. Finally,

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Speaker 2: I bought her a laundry bin of her own and

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Speaker 2: she started using it. But she's always asking me to

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Speaker 2: do her laundry for her. I did it a few times,

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Speaker 2: but now I just refuse. It's constant and she hasn't

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Speaker 2: participated in house cleanup since she moved in. She will

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Speaker 2: sometimes cook for herself, but she leaves a huge mess

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Speaker 2: in the kitchen, even worse leaving scrambled eggs or beef

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Speaker 2: fat and such on the pants. We're vegan, but we're

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Speaker 2: not rude about it. She can have and cook meat, eggs,

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Speaker 2: et cetera in the house, but I can't see stand

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Speaker 2: the side of her dishes sometimes with all these meat

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Speaker 2: products in them. She's also very loud in the morning.

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Speaker 2: Both my husband and I have more flexible jobs and

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Speaker 2: sleep until eight or nine, but she gets up at

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Speaker 2: five thirty am and as soon as she's out of

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Speaker 2: the shower, it goes straight into the living room, blairs

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Speaker 2: the TV, loudly, makes breakfast, often on the egg pans,

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Speaker 2: and wakes up all of us, not every day, but

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Speaker 2: often we've talked to her about it and she apologizes,

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Speaker 2: but lately she just says, well, maybe you should wear

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Speaker 2: earplugs if he sleeps so light. She doesn't have a

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Speaker 2: TV in her room, but she has an iPad she

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Speaker 2: could watch on, or we have headphones set up to

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Speaker 2: our TV that we use late at night so as

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Speaker 2: to not wake the neighbors or her, which she could

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Speaker 2: easily be using. I really feel ready to remove her

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Speaker 2: just after a few months, and I don't know how

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Speaker 2: to make it to summer when the kids get out

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Speaker 2: of school. Honestly, I also don't really see why she

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Speaker 2: hasn't started showing her house since her job is going well,

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Speaker 2: and she has started mentioning that we have an extra room.

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Speaker 2: It's a game room, not an extra room that the

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Speaker 2: kids could stay it. I always laugh her off or

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Speaker 2: seriously shoot her down, but she's now clearly been saying

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Speaker 2: it to my parents because they are bringing it up too. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to let her stay out, let alone

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Speaker 2: lengthen the stay. This is ridiculous, but my mother seemed

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Speaker 2: very insistent I let her and the kids move in

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Speaker 2: with me this summer. I am not going to, but

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Speaker 2: I would like this do not become a giant family drama.

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Speaker 2: I'm already the black sheep of the family, as both

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Speaker 2: my sister and my brother across the country have kids,

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Speaker 2: and my parents always wanted us all to have big families.

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Speaker 2: They think my husband and I are kind of defective,

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Speaker 2: that we don't want children. They love me, but they

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Speaker 2: don't really like me, at least that's how it feels sometimes.

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Speaker 2: They also hate that I'm vegan, even though I try

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Speaker 2: really hard to never be rude about it. Basically, we're

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Speaker 2: already the weirdos of the family. There's a preface at

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Speaker 2: it here. I feel like, maybebe I down played that

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Speaker 2: my sister was widowed two years ago, and that some

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Speaker 2: of this seems like her not being quite herself. We

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Speaker 2: are close, and she is actually the one who never

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Speaker 2: treated me like I was weird for being a child,

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Speaker 2: free and vegan, so on and so forth. So I

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Speaker 2: wanted to add that, as someone suggested I should. I

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Speaker 2: don't think I exaggerate her behavior here at all. This

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Speaker 2: is what's happening, but some context might be more fair.

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Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, that would be a really gnarly thing

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Speaker 2: to have to deal with on the day to day,

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Speaker 2: Like you have a husband who's in the service, he

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Speaker 2: gets out, he makes it, comes back home, gets you know,

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Speaker 2: meets his maker via car accident. Oh like that's yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's that's a real tough one to figure out to digest.

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Speaker 4: It's really hard.

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Speaker 2: Here's the update. So I sat down with my father

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Speaker 2: before talking to my sister because I felt my mom

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Speaker 2: was being very pushy about the whole situation. My father

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Speaker 2: mentioned that my mom was just very worried about my

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Speaker 2: sister because apparently she'd fallen apart worse than any of

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Speaker 2: the rest of us had seen after her husband passed away.

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Speaker 2: She seemed to be seeing a therapist, raising her kids,

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Speaker 2: going to school and getting a job, getting her license,

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Speaker 2: and keeping it together. But apparently the messiness and laying

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Speaker 2: about had already started in her own house, and my

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Speaker 2: mom had been cleaning up after her et cetera. Since

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Speaker 2: my sister had always been an amazing housewife and kept

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Speaker 2: a beautiful house, this really startled my mother. Apparently they

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Speaker 2: went in her house after not going in there for

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Speaker 2: a month because she always went over to theirs, and

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Speaker 2: it looked like an episode of hoarders with bugs and

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Speaker 2: roaches and all kinds of problems. No one ever told.

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Speaker 4: Me, oh, horrible.

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Speaker 2: This is why it's good to approach situations with curiosity.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like check in on her. So why she's acting

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Speaker 4: like that?

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Speaker 2: Not my sisters leaving all this crap all over my

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Speaker 2: house because she's a slob and she hates me and

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Speaker 2: she doesn't care what I think. Like, oh, my sister

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Speaker 2: is completely emotionally drained and is probably going through a

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Speaker 2: depressive episode.

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Speaker 4: So also trying to take care of children.

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Speaker 2: Clearly, this issue was very deep in my sister, and

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Speaker 2: her psyche was somehow embedded in the dishes and laundry issue.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't think continuing to enable her was really

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Speaker 2: helping her anyway, So I still sat down and gave

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Speaker 2: her some clear house rules in writing with consequences.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, that is the way to do it.

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Speaker 3: It's clear communication where you're saying, hey, these things need

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Speaker 3: like I'm here for you. I understand that things are

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Speaker 3: like really tough for you, but these are what I

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Speaker 3: need to see change, uh, And these are the consequences.

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to kick you on the street right now,

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Speaker 3: but you know you up to change how you're acting

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Speaker 3: in my house, it's true.

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Speaker 2: I also told her there was no way to extend

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Speaker 2: her stay or bring the kids here, and talk to

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Speaker 2: her about potentially commuting if she decided she could, since

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Speaker 2: many people asked why she didn't. She does have a

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Speaker 2: driving phobia, but it's clearly improving. I told her I

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Speaker 2: support her and will always be here for her, but

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Speaker 2: some kinds of behavior are just not okay, no matter

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Speaker 2: how much pain she's in. We had what I'd consider

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Speaker 2: a good talk. She agreed to all the rules about cleanliness.

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Speaker 2: In the past few days she has been much neater

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Speaker 2: end quieter, but of course it's too short of a

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Speaker 2: time to tell much of anything major. I hope things

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Speaker 2: will improve for her. She's not sure she can commute

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Speaker 2: back and forth, but doesn't want to sell the house

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Speaker 2: in case she can't, So that was part of wanting

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Speaker 2: to extend her stay, not having to make a decision.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, you can make a decision to

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Speaker 2: listen to full episodes with stories like this on Spotify, iHeartRadio,

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Speaker 2: Apple podcasts. Wherever you listen to podcasts, you can just

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Speaker 2: search Okay story time and there you will find fifty

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Speaker 2: three consecutive day is worth of stories for you to

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Speaker 2: listen to with your cute little ears. You think I

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Speaker 2: don't see them. I do. They're cute, They're adorable. Look

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Speaker 2: at you with those little cute ears. Hevan have an

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Speaker 2: a cute here having it. Okay, Sorry, I lost it there.

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Speaker 2: I lost the plot there for a second. Guys, but

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Speaker 2: I'm back okay, and we've got a little bit of

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Speaker 2: story left. Your cute ears distracted me, so, oh god,

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Speaker 2: the story disappeared. Okay.

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Speaker 3: Well, well, I'll give some final thoughts. I think has

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Speaker 3: handled this very well. I think approaching it with maybe

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Speaker 3: not as much curiosity as she should have in the beginning,

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Speaker 3: but like we've gotten to that point where she understands

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Speaker 3: kind of the full story and understands why her sister

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Speaker 3: is doing all of this, and it seems to be

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Speaker 3: now giving her a little bit more grace while also

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Speaker 3: still maintaining boundaries, which I think is important.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. And I'm I feel guilty of sort

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Speaker 2: of brushing that car accident under the rug, because we

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Speaker 2: did read that at the beginning of the story, and

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Speaker 2: I did internally think I was like, oh, I guess

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Speaker 2: she must have been miss I guess she must have

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Speaker 2: processed it truthfully because they said it was like in

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Speaker 2: a parenthesis. Yeah, but the way it was said made

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Speaker 2: me feel like I thought maybe they had really processed it,

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Speaker 2: like it's been a couple of years and she's like,

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Speaker 2: on the other side of this was recent. Clearly the

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Speaker 2: exact opposite of that is what was going on. Check

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Speaker 2: in on your people, folks. Yeah, let's finish the story.

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Speaker 2: I pointed out June is far away, so we can

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Speaker 2: make the decision of whether to rent out or sell

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Speaker 2: the house in April or May, since she has money

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Speaker 2: saved anyway, and our parents can help her rent it out.

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Speaker 2: They literally rent out houses for a living. I will

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Speaker 2: continue to help and support her with this, and she's

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Speaker 2: going to try to commute home a few days a

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Speaker 2: week if she feels up to it, to tackle her

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Speaker 2: phobia and see her kids more. I just wanted to

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Speaker 2: leave an update about the situation and a thank you

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Speaker 2: because the thread gave me some great ideas. Talked to

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Speaker 2: my dad, why wasn't she commuting, et cetera, and really

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Speaker 2: help me find my words, And that is the end

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Speaker 2: of that sort.

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Speaker 4: My sister is furious I forgave my brother. She doesn't

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Speaker 4: know how I did it?

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Speaker 2: Why didn't you give me the cheat code? Updown updown,

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Speaker 2: abab start.

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Speaker 3: My siblings and I have had a really complicated relationship.

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Speaker 3: They are eight and five years older than me. Our

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Speaker 3: father was a very heavy drinker and he passed away

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Speaker 3: in a car accident when I was three years old,

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Speaker 3: so I have very few memories of him, practically none.

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Speaker 3: My brother and sister obviously remember a lot more than

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Speaker 3: I do, and were mistreated by him during their time.

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Speaker 3: As far as I know, he never laid a hand

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Speaker 3: on me. By the way, this comes from Coco Cola,

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Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to our slash Okay storytime Separate. So, for lack of

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Speaker 3: a better word, they were both bullies to me. My

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Speaker 3: brother wasn't so much a bully, but he was very intimidating,

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Speaker 3: very strict, and would be very scary when I did

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Speaker 3: something bad.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like a bully, Yeah, I was scared.

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Speaker 3: Of him for most of my childhood. My sister was

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Speaker 3: more of a typical bully.

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Speaker 4: Do you hit me a lot?

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Speaker 3: Slapped me, took out her anger on me, teased me,

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Speaker 3: picked on me. In retrospect, I understand that my siblings

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Speaker 3: were acting out a lot of aggression from their traumatic childhoods.

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Speaker 3: It's very sad to think about from an objective POV. However,

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Speaker 3: at the time, I always felt scared of them and

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Speaker 3: hated them when they were being mean to me, which is,

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're a kid, you didn't understand why they

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Speaker 3: were doing it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But my brother went straight into the Navy after high

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Speaker 3: school and became a totally different person. I don't know

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Speaker 3: what exactly changed for him, but he became responsible, caring, patient, compassionate,

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Speaker 3: and understanding. He really made an effort to be nice

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Speaker 3: to me whenever he came home, which was not often,

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Speaker 3: but it It really made a difference to me when

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Speaker 3: I was a kid. My sister never changed. If anything,

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Speaker 3: she got worse a little later in the year. She

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Speaker 3: refused to come to my high school graduation or get

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Speaker 3: me a gift when my mom and aunts and uncles

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Speaker 3: pressured her, because, in her words, she never got me

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Speaker 3: a gift for my high school graduation.

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Speaker 4: I was twelve when she graduated.

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Speaker 2: Ah, holding a good old grudge, aren't we?

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Speaker 4: I mean?

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Speaker 3: After that, we rarely had any contact with each other,

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Speaker 3: and if we did, it was always strained and weird

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Speaker 3: and unpleasant. My brother got married a few years ago

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Speaker 3: and had a daughter last year, and we remained on

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Speaker 3: good terms with each other. I also got along with

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Speaker 3: his wife earlier this year, he invited me on vacation

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Speaker 3: with them to Mexico. For the first time ever, he

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Speaker 3: actually sat me down and talked about the elephant in

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Speaker 3: the room and fumbled through explaining why he was so

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Speaker 3: mean to me when I was young, how he felt

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Speaker 3: very bad for what he did, how he tried to

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Speaker 3: make up for it in his own way when I

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Speaker 3: was young, but that he was sorry for never actually

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Speaker 3: apologizing to me. He said that he had a lot

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Speaker 3: of growing up to do, a lot of damage to undo,

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Speaker 3: and it took getting me married and having his own

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Speaker 3: child to really understand fatherhood and forgive ours and try.

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Speaker 4: To fix his relationships.

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Speaker 3: I mean, like, really huge props to this huge props

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Speaker 3: to this guy for recognizing, oh, you know, kind of

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Speaker 3: working through his childhood.

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Speaker 2: Breaking down generational troma love that damn.

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Speaker 3: I of course accepted this apology because I have come

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Speaker 3: to terms with a lot of my issues and heartaches

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Speaker 3: as well, and I do recognize that he tried to

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Speaker 3: be nicer to me since he left the house. Ever

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Speaker 3: since then, our relationship has been stronger.

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Speaker 4: That's I love that.

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Speaker 2: This is getting me emotional and like hyped up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I have really appreciated his efforts. I have

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Speaker 3: no anger towards him anymore. We see each other often

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Speaker 3: and have since gone on another vacation to Miami with

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Speaker 3: his family.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, my sister no has.

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Speaker 3: Apparently found out about our newly reconciled relationship through social

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Speaker 3: media and other family members.

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Speaker 2: Oh, this is gonna be complicated.

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Speaker 3: She called me on the phone for the first time

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Speaker 3: for a year last week.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 3: At first I thought it was a normal call, but

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Speaker 3: it became increasingly passive aggressive, and she keept bringing up

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Speaker 3: the past and saying, you know, I know that your

380
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,959
Speaker 3: brother and I were pretty crappy to you when we

381
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Speaker 3: were growing up. We went through a lot of things

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Speaker 3: you don't remember or you never saw, and I try

383
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Speaker 3: my best to be a good sister to you. But

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00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 3: you were collicky and difficult as a baby as Okay, okay,

385
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 3: so you're not like you had collic as a baby,

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Speaker 3: and that was really a bummer for me.

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Speaker 2: When you're blaming the baby, you're not ready to reconcile yet.

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Speaker 4: You haven't learned.

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Speaker 3: Anything, girl, and I think it was better that you

390
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Speaker 3: grew up without a father rather than having to deal

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Speaker 3: with a dad who hits you. Why are you trying

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Speaker 3: to one aup opee?

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Speaker 4: This is not an apology?

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Speaker 2: What are we doing?

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Speaker 4: Why why did you even come back?

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Speaker 2: You're like, we were both bad to you, but you're

397
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Speaker 2: a terrible baby.

398
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Speaker 4: You're you're a baby, and you fucked.

399
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Speaker 2: You're a mean baby. I saw some of those side

400
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Speaker 2: eyes you were giving me.

401
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Speaker 3: Yeah, one time you cried, and.

402
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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, here we go again.

403
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Speaker 3: I mean, just on and on and on, no apologies

404
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:03,920
Speaker 3: or remorse, all these weird, passive aggressive excuses and explanations

405
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 3: about things I already know about. I wasn't exactly cold

406
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,160
Speaker 3: to her, but I just have nothing to say about

407
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,919
Speaker 3: these things. I just said, I know, so what do

408
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,040
Speaker 3: you really want to say? What's going on? Then she

409
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,879
Speaker 3: lashed out of me and said, nothing is going on.

410
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,360
Speaker 3: I just wanted to talk to you about why things

411
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Speaker 3: were the way they were. Why do you always have

412
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Speaker 3: to be such an ahole about things?

413
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Speaker 2: Uh? Oh, I guess it's because I'm still a bad baby. Wow.

414
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,159
Speaker 3: It was really frustrating, and we both hung up in

415
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Speaker 3: a bad mood. Later, she sent me an email getting

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Speaker 3: to the point, which was that she felt upset that

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Speaker 3: our brother and I had reconciled our past and how

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Speaker 3: badly he treated me. But I have no mind to

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Speaker 3: reconcile with her because you haven't apologized.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you called the pe up to blame her for

421
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Speaker 2: being a baby.

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Speaker 3: If you want a relationship, apologize to her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. It's like he apologized very sincerely in heartfelt lee

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Speaker 2: after having his own family and realizing, oh my god,

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00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,680
Speaker 2: I've made so many mistakes. I wish I could have

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Speaker 2: been better. And you called her and yelled at her

427
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Speaker 2: and called her a bad baby.

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00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 3: She said she feels left out in outcasts from this

429
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Speaker 3: love fest, and she doesn't know why or what she

430
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,760
Speaker 3: did wrong. In my anger, I impulsively wrote her an

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Speaker 3: email right back to say that she never even apologized

432
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Speaker 3: for how she acted, only gave excuses. Also, our brother

433
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,399
Speaker 3: never ever hit me like she did or picked on me.

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Speaker 3: And also she never even tried to reach out to

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Speaker 3: me about these issues until just now when she felt

436
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Speaker 3: left out. Our brother has at least tried to be

437
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 3: nice to me since I was ten. She sent an

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Speaker 3: email back saying she doesn't have to apologize for supposedly

439
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 3: hitting me when I was younger, because she was disciplining

440
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 3: me and spanking me as a child, not a me

441
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,360
Speaker 3: for no reason. Jesus Christ, get over yourself. You don't

442
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:37,840
Speaker 3: know what I've been through, and now you refuse to

443
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 3: maintain a relationship with me to get revenge on.

444
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,240
Speaker 4: Me, to hurt me.

445
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 2: Newsflash, you also hadn't called me in over a year.

446
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,200
Speaker 4: Really, really sad?

447
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 2: Where are we at?

448
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 3: This is so sad because, like clearly, this is a

449
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 3: woman who thinks everyone is out to get her because

450
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 3: she's been raised in that environment, and now she truly

451
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 3: doesn't understand why op he won't have a relationship with her,

452
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 3: Like she doesn't get it. I stop responding after that

453
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,040
Speaker 3: because I was getting way too upset. She sent me

454
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 3: two more emails after that with similar ranting. I just

455
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 3: feel all over the place. On one hand, I feel

456
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 3: genuinely sorry that she's had such a hard life, and

457
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 3: I know she isn't an evil person. She's never been

458
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,479
Speaker 3: expressive or affectionate. I know she carries a lot of

459
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 3: pain and hurt inside her. She did her best to

460
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 3: get through a difficult life. On the other hand, have

461
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 3: you On the other hand, I was like, I totally

462
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 3: understand what she went On the other hand.

463
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 2: It absolutely not.

464
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 3: Don't terrorize me for not accepting an apology you never gave,

465
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 3: never even took ownership for I can't count how many

466
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,560
Speaker 3: times hair out of my head supposedly disciplining me or

467
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 3: attacked me. I've gotten tons of therapy and tried to

468
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 3: forgive her in my own way, But God, don't demand

469
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 3: that we become besties forever and then get mad that

470
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 3: I don't want to play along. It's not that I

471
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 3: intend to cut her out of my life, but I

472
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 3: should give this some space.

473
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 2: Right.

474
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 3: Should I let her know that just ghosts for a while.

475
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,680
Speaker 3: Should I limit my social media photos? Should I try

476
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,120
Speaker 3: to us this with my brother, or should I try

477
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 3: to sit down with her in person and talk it out?

478
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 3: And there are some comments I think, if you actually

479
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 3: want change here, maybe getting the brother to come with

480
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,680
Speaker 3: you and having a conversation with your sister and saying, hey,

481
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,640
Speaker 3: this didn't happen with nothing. You know, this happened because

482
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 3: like me and my brother, we're friends now because we

483
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 3: put in the work, and saying like I've been going

484
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,360
Speaker 3: to therapy. I've been working through this. Yeah, I think

485
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:27,919
Speaker 3: that is an option where you could have that in

486
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 3: person conversation. I do think a mediator. I think your

487
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 3: brother would probably be the most helpful because you guys

488
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 3: went through it together.

489
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 2: But she might feel ganged up on. I do agree

490
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,159
Speaker 2: with that. It was like that's the most relevant person.

491
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 2: Just the whole perspective she's approaching it from is just

492
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 2: so weird, where she's like she somehow heard about the

493
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 2: love fest and she's like, I don't understand why being

494
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 2: kept on the outside of it, Like it's like you

495
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 2: and your brother went to go get like ice cream

496
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 2: and didn't get her like a cone. It's like, that's

497
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 2: not what happened. This isn't like a product that we

498
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 2: went and bought somewhere. This is like a thing we

499
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 2: had to craft out of all the broken pieces of

500
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 2: our childhood in our trauma. And it literally took.

501
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 4: Him having his own child until he just.

502
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 2: Set out out.

503
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's something that happened overnight.

504
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, but there's some comments.

505
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 3: Comment one says, I would keep it to a script.

506
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 3: We can have a better relationship when you treat me better.

507
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 3: If she keeps pressing our brother has apologized and made

508
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 3: amends with me and treats me well. You can't blame

509
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,880
Speaker 3: everything on what happened in the past. All you offer

510
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 3: are excuses and deflections. You should take responsibility for your

511
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 3: actions and behavior. Comment two says, I think that graduation

512
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 3: story is actually a nice parallel to this incident. It's

513
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 3: about being entitle Your sister does not care about you

514
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 3: or your brother or the substance of your reconciliation. She

515
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 3: just sees you and your brother as happy in loving

516
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 3: and so now she wants that too. She feels like

517
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 3: she should get to have it, even though she hasn't

518
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 3: earned it. So what she's doing is this, she sees

519
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 3: what she wants, and she knows vaguely about how you

520
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 3: guys achieved it, so now she's trying to initiate it

521
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 3: in order to fool you into giving her the reconciliation

522
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 3: you and your brother have. She's aping what she thinks

523
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 3: your brother did. I think the real catch here is that,

524
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 3: by the way you describe your sister, it doesn't sound

525
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,679
Speaker 3: like she especially wants what comes with reconciliation, right. It

526
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 3: doesn't appear that she's desperate for a closer relationship with you,

527
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 3: or even a warmer one. I think it's just a

528
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 3: case of her seeing you and your brother being happy,

529
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 3: and so she feels like she should get whatever you

530
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 3: got to make you happy. It's like a kid that

531
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 3: sees another kid playing with a toy and instantly wants it. Yeah,

532
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 3: she's like, give it to me, Give to me, and

533
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 3: then she like has it.

534
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 4: And she's like, I'm bored.

535
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 2: Have you seen kids do that? Yeah, it's I it

536
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 2: makes me so upset. Could just be like, give me,

537
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 2: bye bye bye, give me and then they just have

538
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 2: it and they.

539
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 4: Go, yeah, crying.

540
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 2: About that thing. You just threw it all the way

541
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 2: across the room.

542
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 3: That's being a child, But she doesn't really have an

543
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 3: excuse because she's not a child.

544
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 2: But she's a fully grown adult.

545
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 3: The other important thing is that you can't take reconciliation.

546
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 3: It absolutely has to be earned. It's abundantly clear that

547
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,360
Speaker 3: that's what you'd be doing if you humor your sister's demands.

548
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 3: If you cave door, it'll just be two people pretending

549
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 3: to have reconciled.

550
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 2: What good is that?

551
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 3: I can see no benefit enforcing yourself to further engage

552
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 3: with this PS reconciliation attempt.

553
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story. My brother

554
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 4: in law wants to invite his ex to my wedding.

555
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 4: They both have.

556
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,120
Speaker 2: New partners, so that sounds normal.

557
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 4: My fiance and I have been together for ten years

558
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 4: and we finally decided to get married. I initially didn't

559
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 4: care for a big wedding, so we settled for a small,

560
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 4: private ceremony, which was great. After our ceremony last year,

561
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 4: my now husband told me that because he has a

562
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 4: big family, it was important for him to have a

563
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 4: large wedding reception. By the way, this comes from tradition No.

564
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 4: Thirty four to ninety six, and if you want to

565
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the slash the r

566
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 4: slash Okay storytime subreddit. So I agreed with him and

567
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 4: we began planning our reception, which is coming this May

568
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 4: twenty twenty five. It's so soon. I wanted to see

569
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 4: him happy, and he seemed very excited about it. We

570
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,719
Speaker 4: received some money from both our families and we are

571
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 4: able to afford a larger wedding than we initially thought.

572
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 4: We made our guest list and sent out our invitations

573
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 4: and save the dates. We both assumed that my husband's

574
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 4: middle brother, who would be present. After he returned from

575
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 4: his six month long trip to their hometown, I heard

576
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 4: that his brother, my brother in law, had found a

577
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 4: new girl back in his country of birth, even though

578
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 4: he is currently married here in the States. I was

579
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 4: really happy for him because I know the story I

580
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 4: lived through it between him, between his wife and him.

581
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 4: To make things short, she took advantage of him by

582
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:38,679
Speaker 4: faking a pregnancy and forcing him to marry her for citizenship. Okay, okay,

583
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 4: that makes a little more sense. He didn't want to

584
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 4: get married, but his family told him that he needed

585
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 4: to be responsible for their child. After their rushed and

586
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 4: hushed wedding ceremony, my brother in law left for his

587
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 4: six month vacation again to his country of birth or hometown.

588
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 4: She decided not to go with him because she was

589
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 4: working with a lawyer to get her citizenship and didn't

590
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 4: want a trip to ruin her chances. She was going

591
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 4: to wait for him. However, she was getting unexpected visitors

592
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 4: after he left. Later, we found out that she had

593
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 4: found another man, and when my mother in law confronted

594
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 4: her about it, she called her husband and told him

595
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,679
Speaker 4: that it wasn't true. My brother in law called his

596
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 4: mom and yelled at her to not get involved in

597
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 4: his marriage. A few weeks later, she moved away, literally disappeared,

598
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 4: and when my mother in law asked about her, she

599
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 4: was told that she was living with another man and

600
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 4: had left her husband, but not even gotten divorced because

601
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 4: she still wanted her citizenship from him. We also found

602
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 4: out that she had lost the baby around that time,

603
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 4: and it's in quotes. That wasn't just me, So maybe

604
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 4: it was a fake. Maybe maybe a.

605
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 2: Fake fingers crossed for fake, fingers crossed for fake because

606
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,479
Speaker 2: that was in quotes.

607
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, my brother in law story happened around two years ago.

608
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 4: She is still living with that other man and my

609
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,199
Speaker 4: brother in law has found a new girl back in

610
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 4: his country, but they are still married anyways. I respect

611
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 4: whatever his decision was because it's his life and he

612
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,640
Speaker 4: does what he pleases with it. A few days ago,

613
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 4: my hu told me that his brother, my brother in law,

614
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 4: was going to bring his plus one to our wedding.

615
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 4: I thought he couldn't bring his new girl because she's

616
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 4: outside of the country, but I never thought that he

617
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 4: would bring his actual wife. My husband told me that

618
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:16,400
Speaker 4: he invited her and she said yes, which I absolutely

619
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 4: do not want her being at my wedding. Bear with me,

620
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 4: I have my reasons. Reason number one, my mother in

621
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 4: law cried to me for advice to her son to

622
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 4: help her son get out of the deep depression that

623
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 4: he went into after his wife left him for another man.

624
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 4: I couldn't do much because he left back to his

625
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 4: hometown soon after that conversation, but it broke my heart

626
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 4: to see her suffer like that for her son. Reason

627
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 4: number two. When my husband and I were dating, my

628
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 4: brother in law's wife would knock on my husband's bedroom

629
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 4: door to give him his favorite candy or tell him

630
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 4: that she made him his favorite dish. I didn't like that,

631
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,360
Speaker 4: but I said, it's all right as long as I'm

632
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 4: there too. I don't want to be a crazy witch.

633
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 4: Reason number three. I in her search for a sponsor

634
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 4: for her citizenship paperwork, she asked my husband to spot her,

635
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 4: not even asking me about it, which I absolutely said

636
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 4: no to. My husband saw nothing wrong with that request,

637
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 4: but I knew her intentions were not good with my

638
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 4: brother in law or anyone in this family. I knew

639
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 4: that she only wanted my brother in law for papers.

640
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 4: Reason number four, she has a man already and she's

641
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 4: happy with him. My brother in law has his girl

642
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,640
Speaker 4: too and seems to be happy with her, So what

643
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 4: that is she doing there anymore? If they were getting

644
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 4: back together and trying to fix their marriage, I would

645
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 4: be the first one to invite her to my wedding

646
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 4: in support of my brother in law. But they are

647
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 4: not getting back together. Reason number five.

648
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 2: I don't like her energy.

649
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 4: She can come any other time on my birthday, on Christmas,

650
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 4: on any other party, but not my wedding day. I'm

651
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 4: afraid everyone will ask my brother in law about her

652
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 4: because no one else knows about their marriage, and I'm

653
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 4: sure I can almost predict that there will be a

654
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 4: huge drama because her because of her presence there, which

655
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 4: I do not want on my wedding day. I talked

656
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 4: to my husband about it. He said that she is

657
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 4: my brother in law's wife after all, and he can

658
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 4: bring his plus one. It breaks my heart that none

659
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 4: of them think of my mother in law's feelings and

660
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 4: pain or my wishes. I don't know if this matters,

661
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 4: but she's absolutely gorgeous, which I think is why my

662
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 4: brother in law wants to bring her that day to

663
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 4: show her off to everyone in that family. I'm also

664
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 4: upset at my brother in law for not respecting his

665
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 4: new relationship and stepping away completely or getting a divorce.

666
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 4: I don't even think that he has told his new

667
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 4: girl that he's married, and I'm sure that she won't

668
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 4: be happy if she finds out that he is not

669
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 4: only married, but continues to see his wife and will

670
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 4: bring her to a very special day of his brother.

671
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 4: I talked to my brother in law and told him

672
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 4: that if he brings her on my wedding day, he

673
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 4: is banned from attending our wedding. If he decides to

674
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 4: show up with her anyway, I will leave the party

675
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 4: as the bride do.

676
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 2: Walking out of your own wedding is such a power move,

677
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 2: that's crazy.

678
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 4: I'm asking for the same respect that I have shown them.

679
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 4: I've never stepped on them when they decided to get

680
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 4: married or intervened in any of their decisions as a couple.

681
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 4: I feel that my wishes for my wedding should be

682
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 4: respected as well. So am I the a hole? And

683
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 4: we do have an update? But what's your answer?

684
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 2: No, you're not the a hole? No, absolutely not. Yeah,

685
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: you don't want your wedding, and you're like, I know

686
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 2: this is gonna be bad. Why are we doing this? Sure,

687
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 2: you're gonna have a plus one just like not that

688
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 2: one anyone else on earth besides the one person that's

689
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: gonna take all the attention away. And I bet you

690
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 2: there will be some drama, because there's no way there's

691
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 2: not gonna be. This is weird.

692
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 4: But we do have an update. So first of all,

693
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 4: thank you all for your amazing advice. From perspective, You're right,

694
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 4: I definitely have to consider my hobby say on this matter.

695
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 4: To be fair, he and I have been on the

696
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 4: same page when it comes to who we are inviting

697
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 4: to our wedding and avoiding drama people, even if that

698
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 4: is a family member close to either of us. For example,

699
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 4: I told him to invite his karate buddy, who I

700
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 4: think is a weird guy but very sweet and nice.

701
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 4: I like his vibe. He invited him, but when he

702
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 4: didn't seem to care for the wedding at all, my

703
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 4: Hobby decided to uninvite him. I support him on that.

704
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 4: It's his friend, it's his wedding too, and I want

705
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 4: him to feel comfortable. On another occasion, one of his

706
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 4: cousins made a comment about being happy if we canceled

707
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 4: the wedding because it seems like Huppy is doing it

708
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 4: for the show and I'm doing it for love, and

709
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 4: he can tell that we are not going to have

710
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 4: a good time. So the cousin supported that we cancel it.

711
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 4: When my Hobby found out about his comment, he got

712
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 4: so so upset that he decided to uninvite him, as you.

713
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 2: Should make you should when people were saying that.

714
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 4: Again, I told him I supported him in his decision

715
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 4: if that's what he wanted. It's our wedding and the

716
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 4: happiness of both of us matters more than anything else.

717
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 4: He and I also agreed on not inviting friends of

718
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 4: mine who might get really wasted and cause drama that day.

719
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 4: Like I said, we have been on the same page

720
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 4: so far. When it comes to brother in law's wife,

721
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 4: I know my Hobby likes her a lot. She is

722
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 4: a sweet girl to him, and to be honest, she

723
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 4: had not done anything to me either, But I feel

724
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 4: so personally attacked by the way that she broke my

725
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 4: brother in law. My brother in law cried a lot,

726
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 4: He locked up in his room and wouldn't eat, go

727
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 4: out or do anything else but try to come to

728
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 4: terms with what she did to him. I saw him

729
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 4: suffer too, and I think that I'm taking it too personally.

730
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 4: It's hard to see someone we care about get hurt,

731
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 4: and maybe that's my biggest reason why I cannot stand

732
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 4: her anymore. And we do have another big update. What's

733
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 4: what's going on?

734
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 2: So really it's reading now like brother in law is

735
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 2: just a sweetie pie, yeah, and yeah, is being manipulated

736
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 2: by this woman to get papers and stuff, which would

737
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 2: make sense. Why it was like, well, we came to

738
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: the agreement that it would make sense to stay married

739
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 2: for her immigration process.

740
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 4: It's like right, But anyway, onto the update, Hobby talked

741
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 4: to brother in law about not bringing his wife. Brother

742
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 4: in law told him to tell me to take it easy.

743
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 4: Your wedding doesn't have to be perfect.

744
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 2: I kind of I like that perspective, not in like

745
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 2: a take it easy way, but in just like a hey,

746
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 2: you gotta be ready. It's not going to be a

747
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 2: perfect day. Realistic. Something's gonna end up going wrong and

748
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 2: we have to like move through that.

749
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 4: No exactly sure what he meant to say by that.

750
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 4: Hubby talking to brother in law caused brother in law

751
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 4: to ask his wife to contact me and ask me herself.

752
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 4: I received a message today from the wife. FYI. She

753
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 4: had blocked me when she moved away with her new

754
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 4: guy and we lost contact. She said, Hi, I hope

755
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 4: you're doing well. I just found out through brother in

756
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 4: law that you two are getting married. Congratulations. Brother in

757
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 4: law has been pushing me to attend your wedding. I

758
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 4: am really excited for your wedding and I will be

759
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 4: there to celebrate it. Thank you, I replied, Hi is

760
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 4: sister in law. I hope you were doing well too,

761
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 4: and thank you for reaching out. I really don't want

762
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 4: you to attend my wedding.

763
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 2: Just right off the gate. Yeah, be super honest, let's go.

764
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 2: I like this. I like that I.

765
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 4: Have nothing against you, and I respect your decision and

766
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 4: the way that you handled the breakup, although I do

767
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 4: not agree with it.

768
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: You do you.

769
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 4: However, Hubby and I have been avoiding drama people on

770
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 4: our wedding day, and I believe that since brother in

771
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 4: law and you are no longer together, he has a

772
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 4: new relationship and you do too, there is going to

773
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 4: be drama due to your presence. I really want my

774
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 4: wedding day to be a happy celebration of our love

775
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 4: and not get spoiled by drama of any kind. You

776
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 4: are welcome any other day, but please not on my wedding.

777
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 4: I hope you understand and respect my decision, very honest,

778
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 4: very upfront. It's hard because that it can be seen

779
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 4: as rude, but she's already no contact with her.

780
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's more interesting being straight up. It's like it's

781
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 2: maybe it's cold water, but it's like it'd be more

782
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 2: rude to like invite her to the wedding and then

783
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 2: like just try to like keep her on the outside

784
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 2: the whole time. You just be like honest, like I

785
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 2: actually don't want you to come right right.

786
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 4: Thank you for being honest with me. I completely understand

787
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 4: and I respect that it's your wedding day and you

788
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,320
Speaker 4: decide who goes there. I don't want to cause any problems.

789
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 4: I just wanted to be respectful and reach out to

790
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 4: you first. I know things haven't been easy between you

791
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 4: and me, but I hope someday we can make peace

792
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 4: and move on. I wish you guys the best. Took

793
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 4: it amazingly well. That was I was not a expecting

794
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 4: it to be taken that well. I replied, thank you

795
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 4: for understanding, and thank you again for reaching out. I

796
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 4: wish you well too, take care well. I was happy

797
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 4: that she understood and agreed with me. However, brother in

798
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 4: law insists that she is his wife and he has

799
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 4: a plus one, and since he is the brother of

800
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 4: the group, he needs to be there and not be

801
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 4: denied attendance. Hubby got upset about it and told him

802
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 4: that it's our day and we decide what we want

803
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 4: for it. We don't want drama, period. They got into

804
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 4: a heated argument about it, and now I feel responsible

805
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 4: because he banned his own brother from going to the wedding.

806
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 4: And by the way, we will never ban you from

807
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 4: going to iHeartRadio, Spotify or Apple podcasts and searching okay,

808
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 4: story time because you know what you're gonna find there.

809
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 2: Full episodes with stories just like this.

810
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, but there is a little bit more so.

811
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 4: Hubby's words to brother in law, you cannot just come

812
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 4: in out of nowhere and demand that your happiness gets

813
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 4: priority in our wedding. Bride and I decide to not

814
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 4: have drama that day. So unless you two are getting

815
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,879
Speaker 4: back together for good, she is not welcome, and if

816
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 4: you insist on bringing her, even against our will, you

817
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 4: don't have to go stay home. We did it all

818
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 4: without your help and your presence, and we will be

819
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 4: just fine without you. Okay, it seems a little harsh,

820
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 4: but I mean message received. Yeah, the last part we

821
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 4: did it all without your help is pretty uh yeah,

822
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 4: it's more like a little harsh there.

823
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 2: Op.

824
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 4: He just finishes it out by saying, I feel like crap,

825
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 4: and now I feel like the a whole. But I

826
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 4: don't think you're the a hole. I mean, obviously the

827
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 4: wife took it super well. That's really the only person

828
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:37,839
Speaker 4: that should be like, uh, just offended by her not

829
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 4: being divided. If anyone's going to be offended, Yeah, like

830
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 4: this brother in law should not be. So, I don't know,

831
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 4: very weird, very weird situations. I don't think Op is

832
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 4: a hole.

833
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no at all. You did that perfectly,

834
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, yeah, he dealt with that perfectly.

835
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 4: Absolutely.

836
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get

837
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

838
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:02,800
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

839
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 3: My sister in law's family trashed our house and they

840
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 3: won't leave.

841
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,280
Speaker 4: We'll get out of here, don't you. No, you can't

842
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 4: leave trash.

843
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 3: My wife and I are empty nesters living in a

844
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 3: good sized, four bedroom house. Our daughters are in their

845
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 3: late twenties and moved out years ago. We talked about downsizing,

846
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,439
Speaker 3: but never seriously did anything about it. By the way,

847
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 3: this comes from farmer John two and if you want

848
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 3: to smit your own stories, go to our slash Okay

849
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 3: storytime supparate it. So early this summer, my brother in

850
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 3: law was fired from his fairly good paying job and

851
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 3: was denied unemployment from his employer for some type of

852
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 3: unethical actions. I don't really know what he did, just

853
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 3: that he and a couple of others did something shady.

854
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 3: Their credit is terrible, a bankruptcy in the past, and

855
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 3: they really never lived within their means. They have two boys,

856
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,879
Speaker 3: eight and thirteen, and two good sized dogs, so their

857
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 3: little house was very cramped. They wanted a larger house,

858
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 3: but couldn't get a loan and had no money for

859
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,959
Speaker 3: a down payment. Somehow they convinced his parents to allow

860
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 3: them to build a larger, related living style house around

861
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 3: the parents' small ranch house, and he's been building it

862
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 3: for the past year or two. As time and money allow.

863
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 3: Now they have a half finished huge house they can't

864
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 3: move into and have to put their current small home

865
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 3: up for sale to finance finishing the construction on the

866
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 3: new place. To make matters worse, their current house is

867
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 3: actually owned by my wife's brother, who bought the house

868
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 3: from them so they would not lose it when they

869
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 3: went bankrupt. They had been paying him the mortgage and

870
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 3: promised to let them have any profit from the sale.

871
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 3: I feel like, if you just went break bankrupt and

872
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 3: like you don't have a good job anymore, maybe don't

873
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 3: start building a huge house. My wife asked me back

874
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 3: in June if they could move in with us until

875
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 3: the house was completed so they could fix up their

876
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 3: current tiny house for sale. I balked at first, since

877
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,880
Speaker 3: we already have one large dog and didn't like the

878
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 3: idea of having three dogs, two kids, and four adults

879
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 3: living in my house for an undetermined amount of time

880
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 3: that is crowded. Yeah, my wife talked me into letting

881
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 3: them move in since we have three empty bedrooms, and

882
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 3: we've regretted it ever since. It started off not too badly,

883
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 3: but now it's been four months and my brother in

884
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 3: law is no closer to getting a new job and

885
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 3: is only interested in finding another management job, even though

886
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 3: I'm sure his previous employer is.

887
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 4: Bad mouthing him.

888
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,720
Speaker 3: He currently does side jobs for another of my wife's brothers,

889
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 3: who does construction, demos, citing jobs, et cetera. My sister

890
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 3: in law works part time as a doctor's office receptionist

891
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 3: and makes probably just above minimum wage. All her money

892
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 3: goes towards food and gas for their cars. We don't

893
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 3: charge them any rent, hoping they can put the money

894
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 3: towards finishing the new house construction. The crap hit the fan,

895
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 3: so to speak, when they would not pick up their

896
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 3: dogs crap from our backyard so I could mow the lawn.

897
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 3: I offered to pay my thirteen year old nephew twenty

898
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 3: dollars a week to mob lawn, but he didn't want

899
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 3: to do this because it would interrupt his video game playing.

900
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,239
Speaker 3: When I saw my wife picking up the dog crap

901
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 3: while her sister was getting ready to leave the house,

902
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 3: I exploded. I told her that if she couldn't pick

903
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 3: up after her dog's then the dogs would have to

904
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 3: be sent somewhere else. She got upset and replied that

905
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 3: she had no place else to send the dogs. That's

906
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 3: not the point. Just pick up after them.

907
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a very easy fit. That's a crazy.

908
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 3: Response to someone being like, if you can't pick up

909
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:32,879
Speaker 3: her after your dogs, we're gonna have to send them away.

910
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 3: And she's like, I don't have anyone to send them.

911
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

912
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: The answer is okay, I'll pick up after my dog

913
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 3: exactly like you know what you gotta do. Then one

914
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 3: of the dogs is black, and the house now not

915
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 3: only smells like a kennel, but there is black dog

916
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,280
Speaker 3: hair all over the floor. Is that she won't vacuum

917
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 3: up unless my wife tells her to. My sister in

918
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,240
Speaker 3: law and her husband then decided to take his mother's

919
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 3: offer of a loan against her retirement money to help

920
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 3: finance finishing the house so she wouldn't have to live

921
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 3: with that's mean people. Now four months later, they're still here.

922
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 3: She no longer really talks to me in the house,

923
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 3: comes home from work and goes straight upstairs to her

924
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 3: bedroom to watch television. I guess I'm the bad guy.

925
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 3: Her eight year old son is left with my wife

926
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 3: and me when they come home, while his mother is

927
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 3: upstairs in her room. Our family room now is toys

928
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 3: scattered all around and has two bins of legos and

929
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 3: action figures for his amusement. His mother doesn't clean up

930
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 3: after him, and doesn't tell him to clean up after himself,

931
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 3: and leaves the job, putting him to bed at night

932
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 3: to her unemployed husband. I mean, really quick, like the

933
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 3: fact that the unemployed husband is not, you know, doing

934
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 3: a bunch of housework to make up for living in

935
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 3: this house for free and not contributing at all financially.

936
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 3: Like he should be taking care of his kid. He

937
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 3: should be picking up a dog poop, He should be

938
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 3: helping around the house. What are you doing, dude, great

939
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 3: question I want to know. I'm a big fan of

940
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 3: HBO original TV series, which of course are not fit

941
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 3: for kids to watch. My nephew also doesn't really have

942
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 3: a bedtime either, and I have to tell them to

943
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 3: leave the family room sometime between nine and ten PM

944
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 3: so I can finally get around to watching some adult

945
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,879
Speaker 3: content before going to bed. I honestly don't think they

946
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 3: realize what a crabstorm they leave in their path, but

947
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 3: just expect everybody to help them out. She's the baby

948
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 3: of the family, and my wife said she has always

949
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 3: been this way. I guess what I'm looking for is

950
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 3: some outside perspective. How do I get rid of them?

951
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 3: Am I being too hard on them? This is affecting

952
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 3: my relationship with my wife because she feels like she's

953
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 3: the only person in the house taking care of the

954
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 3: place while I'm at work. Any suggestions help? And there

955
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 3: is an update, But do you have any thoughts or suggestions?

956
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe we need to have a family meeting because

957
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 4: it's not just them. Yeah, Like we've talked about how

958
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 4: it's the dad too.

959
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,359
Speaker 3: I think I think you're right with like the have

960
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 3: a conversation, have that family meeting and say these are

961
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 3: the rules. We need you out by this date. Yeah,

962
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 3: we need to see you actually, you know, trying to

963
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 3: get a job. I don't care where you get a job. Yeah,

964
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 3: just get something something.

965
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:07,439
Speaker 2: Yeah.

966
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 4: Because it's also again like I wanted to be a

967
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 4: family meeting because apparently too this husband isn't really stepping

968
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 4: up and doing enough either. Nothing. So I think everyone

969
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 4: needs to be on the same page. Yeah, And boundaries

970
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 4: need to be put in place and everyone needs to

971
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 4: be there to hear it. Yep, get a secretary, someone

972
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 4: can write this stuff down, you know.

973
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I honestly, I think you and maybe

974
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 3: you have another meeting with just the parents and you say, hey,

975
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 3: your son, you know, someone needs to pick up the poop.

976
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 3: And either I'll pay your son twenty bucks or I'll

977
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 3: pay him nothing and he still has to do it.

978
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, So like get him on the same page.

979
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

980
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, But let's get into the update.

981
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 3: Well, it all finally came to a head about a

982
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 3: week after my previous post. On Saturday, when I went

983
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 3: to mower lawn, my wife asked my sister in law

984
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,240
Speaker 3: to pick up the dog poop. Sister in law stated

985
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 3: texted my wife back and stated that she picked up

986
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 3: about half a grocery size bag and told my wife

987
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 3: that she should get the rest.

988
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 4: Well, it's your dogs.

989
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 3: She's like, I picked up two pieces, why do I have.

990
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 4: To do the whole thing? Also, if it's really like

991
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 4: half a grocery besides that mul well, I'm thinking that's

992
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 4: a lot.

993
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 3: I mean, if it's building up, it seems like it's

994
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,359
Speaker 3: probably building up because she's not doing it right.

995
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 4: No exactly. So it's just like, girl, you can't you

996
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 4: can't be doing that. Fill it up, Dan, fill up?

997
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 3: My wife phone my brother in law and explained that

998
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 3: we had enough, it was getting too hard to have

999
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 3: three dogs in the house, and to make plans to

1000
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 3: move the dogs elsewhere. We were on our way to

1001
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 3: meet my daughter and son in law at a restaurant

1002
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 3: about an hour from home. They had just announced they

1003
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 3: were expecting their first child, our first grandchild. Okay, five

1004
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 3: minutes later, my sister in law calls my wife back,

1005
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 3: asking what the problem was, et cetera, and they get

1006
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 3: into an argument about what was going wrong. It ends

1007
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 3: with my sister in law telling my wife that if

1008
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,840
Speaker 3: that was the way we're going to be, she was

1009
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,760
Speaker 3: moving her family out of the house as well.

1010
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,839
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, don't. That's not what we wanted. That's

1011
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 4: exactly what we wanted, right, come back please.

1012
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 3: She then texted my wife that living in our house,

1013
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 3: she came to believe that she didn't like the way

1014
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 3: I treated my wife and she noticed it, but that

1015
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:24,280
Speaker 3: my wife was too blind to my treatment of her.

1016
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 3: Now this upset me even more. I was roue with

1017
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 3: my sister in law. When we got home from our

1018
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 3: dinner out, the dogs were gone, and so were they.

1019
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 3: My wife was upset, but we were both believed they

1020
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 3: were gone, finally some peace and quiet in the house.

1021
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,919
Speaker 3: They ended up taking their two dogs to my brother

1022
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 3: in law's parents' house, where they were constructing their new home. Now,

1023
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 3: my brother in law lives at his parents' house with

1024
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 3: the dogs and the oldest teenage son. My sister in

1025
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 3: law at first moved into her parents' two bedroom townhouse

1026
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,720
Speaker 3: with her youngest son and traveled between the two locations.

1027
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:03,359
Speaker 3: So now they have spread their inconvenience to both their

1028
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 3: elderly parents and their kids, just because my sister in

1029
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 3: law was too proud and lazy to pick up after

1030
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,800
Speaker 3: herself and her dogs well in my house. My wife

1031
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,360
Speaker 3: asked her why this was better than just keeping the

1032
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 3: dogs at one of the other houses while keeping her

1033
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,840
Speaker 3: family together at our house and not spread their troubles

1034
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 3: to two other households.

1035
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,880
Speaker 4: But she didn't have an answer. I think it's just pride.

1036
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 4: I think she's just like you can't tell me what

1037
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 4: to doubt for sure.

1038
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 2: Sure.

1039
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 3: Now, in the meantime, they have finally sold their old

1040
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 3: house and my brother in law has finally got a

1041
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 3: full time, regular job. Most of their junk is still

1042
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 3: in our house. My wife moved most of it to

1043
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 3: one bedroom, and they are in no hurry to move

1044
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 3: their things out yet. Construction on their new place is

1045
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,439
Speaker 3: still going on. No idea when it will be completed yet.

1046
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 3: Thanksgiving dinner at my mother in law's house was very

1047
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:57,839
Speaker 3: uncomfortable with my sister in law and brother in law

1048
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 3: there with their kids and both sets of parents. I

1049
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 3: have nothing to do with my sister in law now,

1050
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 3: nor do I want to, since she stuck her nose

1051
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 3: in my relationship with my wife with her comments to

1052
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,720
Speaker 3: my wife about me. By the way, I've got some

1053
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 3: comments for you.

1054
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 4: What is that, Sofia?

1055
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,320
Speaker 3: And one is that you can listen to full episodes

1056
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:21,239
Speaker 3: of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1057
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 3: or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay, story time, there's a

1058
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,839
Speaker 3: little bit left to this story, but do you any

1059
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 3: final thoughts, try to check itself out.

1060
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, they were like, all right, we're out here.

1061
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 3: It's like, oh yeah, yeah, exactly.

1062
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 4: Because that's the thing with these boundaries, right, It's like,

1063
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 4: can you talk about them? They either follow them or

1064
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 4: they don't.

1065
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1066
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,399
Speaker 3: It's like it's not even like you guys were kicking

1067
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 3: them out. You didn't just say get out of the house.

1068
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 3: You say, pick up the poop or leave, and they

1069
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 3: chose to leave instead of picking up the poop.

1070
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 4: Like, so whatever, you know, at least you don't have

1071
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 4: to deal with it anymore.

1072
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got your house back to yourself and they

1073
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 3: can go live. I where over they're living. My wife's

1074
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,720
Speaker 3: parents are trying to stay above it and not pick sides,

1075
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 3: but it's wearing on them. My wife and her sister

1076
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 3: do still talk to each other now, but the relationship

1077
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 3: is now very cool. It was tough, but at least

1078
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 3: we have our house back and we're now trying to

1079
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 3: get it back into shape after our visitors left. I'm

1080
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 3: very happy, but I know my wife is still hurt

1081
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 3: and things are uncomfortable with her family. And that is

1082
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 3: the end of the story.

1083
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 4: All right, Wow, they you're dealing with it as much

1084
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 4: as you can, honestly. Yeah, people like that. You can't

1085
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 4: control them. No, they're just gonna do whatever they want. Yeah,

1086
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,280
Speaker 4: so you just have to set your own boundaries exactly

1087
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 4: exactly and follow through on them what you did well

1088
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 4: on you.

1089
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, hey, it's johnio Og host here. We're gonna

1090
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 2: get back to the stories. But he's a quick three

1091
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 2: minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1092
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 4: My in laws think I can't provide for my wife.

1093
00:48:55,800 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 4: It's straining our marriage. Where to begin? This has been

1094
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 4: a problem for a little over a year now. My wife,

1095
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 4: let's call her Sarah, and I have been married for

1096
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:09,240
Speaker 4: roughly a year and a half at this point, together

1097
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:11,839
Speaker 4: before that for four years, and are expecting our first

1098
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 4: child soon. Congradulation too. By the way, this comes from

1099
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 4: deleted and if you want to submit your own stories,

1100
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay story time step breddit.

1101
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 4: So marriage has been a blast so far. We seemed

1102
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,280
Speaker 4: to get along just fine. Spicy sleep was great, quality

1103
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 4: of life was good, besides the small stresses with the baby,

1104
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 4: shower planning and room decoration for our first child. Typical

1105
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 4: honeymooner mindset, right, Well, it's great until it comes to

1106
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 4: her parents. I'm going to start where this problem first

1107
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,720
Speaker 4: weird its head, which would be a few short months

1108
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,399
Speaker 4: before our wedding. Up until then, I never had an

1109
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 4: issue with Sarah's parents. We both lived at home at

1110
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,439
Speaker 4: the time and never had trouble going back and forth

1111
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 4: between each other's houses and or staying there a few

1112
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 4: nights leading up to everything. Of course, trying to be responsible.

1113
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:57,719
Speaker 4: I figured it was time to start looking for a

1114
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 4: place to live, whether it was an apartment house, condo,

1115
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:04,040
Speaker 4: or whatever. Her parents made the offer that if needed,

1116
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 4: we could live with them, which at the same time

1117
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 4: was a nice offer, But I was always raised to

1118
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 4: be independent and had also heard enough horror stories about

1119
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 4: living with in laws that I figured it would be

1120
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 4: best to deny smart smart, very smart. If you are

1121
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 4: on our page for long, yeah, it's a lot, I

1122
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 4: don't think calls yeah yeah. I did so politely and

1123
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 4: everything seemed well, or so, I thought. To keep things short,

1124
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 4: I'll just give some bullet points about what happened leading

1125
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 4: up to our wedding. Her mother always complained about her

1126
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 4: wedding day, saying that it was in shambles and nothing

1127
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 4: went right. This led to her trying to redo her

1128
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 4: wedding with hours. My mother gets the idea after I

1129
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 4: talked to her one night. She proceeds to mention something.

1130
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 4: At their next meeting at the venue Sarah chose. Pissing

1131
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 4: match ensues. Sarah calls me at work upset both are

1132
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 4: in the wrong. I talked to my mom, tell her

1133
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 4: thanks for standing up for me. But from now on

1134
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 4: they won't be together for decorating. Mom takes it that

1135
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 4: I'm telling her to bow down and resents me. Sarah

1136
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 4: talks to her mom to this day. Don't know if

1137
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,879
Speaker 4: that really ever happened. I get left out of cake

1138
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 4: tastings and other activities I wanted to do with her.

1139
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 4: Work wasn't an issue. I was focused mainly on trying

1140
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 4: to find a place. I find a nice apartment, get

1141
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 4: first in line, get the application filled out, give it

1142
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 4: to Sarah to finish, and turn in. Application was never

1143
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 4: turned in. Turns out her mother took it filed in

1144
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 4: our income to be over the limit, and if I

1145
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,760
Speaker 4: had turned it in, it would have been a waste

1146
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 4: of time had I not caught the error or intended mistake.

1147
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1148
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 4: Never get a straight answer for this either. Wow, So

1149
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:49,400
Speaker 4: just sabotage. A lot of sabotage in going on my sabature. Sure,

1150
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 4: so we find a place yay. Proceed to tell my

1151
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 4: mom and Sarah about it. Sarah is excited and supposed

1152
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:59,760
Speaker 4: to tell her mom. Wedding shower comes, My mom makes

1153
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 4: me of the place. Her mom causes a fuss and

1154
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 4: ruins the shower. We decide from then on that family

1155
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 4: events are to be separate. Also, I don't know exactly

1156
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 4: what happened here and never got a straight answer once again,

1157
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,320
Speaker 4: but from what I pieced it. From what I pieced together,

1158
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:18,240
Speaker 4: my mom said it in a spiteful way, which pissed

1159
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 4: her mom off. The rehearsal comes. Her mother brought a

1160
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:24,439
Speaker 4: wedding planner. Wait where was this lady the whole time

1161
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 4: that Sarah needed help, She brought the wedding planner to

1162
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:30,359
Speaker 4: plan the aisle walk and standing positions. I politely say

1163
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,319
Speaker 4: I got most of it worked out, but needed help

1164
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 4: with a few things. Lady is excited, loves what I've

1165
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 4: worked out. Her mother gets pissed, cries and yells at me,

1166
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 4: you should have told me this before the last day minute.

1167
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 4: I already told her this three months prior, if not

1168
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 4: more so. The wedding goes down. First part goes great.

1169
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 4: Ten out of ten would do it again. Reception not

1170
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 4: so much. Sarah's mother forgot to lay out coasters that

1171
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 4: she designed, turns around and throws a fit that they

1172
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:04,880
Speaker 4: more than the dang invitations which I paid for and designed.

1173
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 4: My mom tries to be nice, tells her that it's okay.

1174
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 4: Her mother proceeds to scream to stop cussing at her,

1175
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 4: So the pissing match number three ensues between both of

1176
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 4: our families. Sarah and I change and slip out the

1177
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 4: back door after she's said After she says bye to

1178
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 4: her family. Now the honeymoon nine out of ten. Last day,

1179
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:27,879
Speaker 4: her mom calls and acts like her father is hurt.

1180
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 4: Sarah gets upset, returns the calls. We were out at

1181
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 4: the time. Father in law is a okay. It turns

1182
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,759
Speaker 4: out that my mother sent a Facebook message to her

1183
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 4: about how rude she was at the wedding and that

1184
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 4: they will not speak to each other anymore. This causes

1185
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 4: me and Sarah to fight. It ruins the night, and

1186
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 4: then we go home. That's just half of it, you guys.

1187
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 4: Oh just half, just half, that's a whole lot of things.

1188
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness. Luckily things calmed down for a few

1189
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:59,319
Speaker 4: moments after the wedding. We moved into our new place.

1190
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 4: As soon as we got back, we settled in, and

1191
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 4: then just a short year later, get a surprise. Her

1192
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 4: family is excited. My family is excited. We stick to

1193
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 4: our pupews, plan out baby showers separate for each side

1194
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,279
Speaker 4: of the family. Things go well, then Sarah gets sicked.

1195
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:20,560
Speaker 4: The main point here is just a hospital visit that

1196
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:24,320
Speaker 4: we encountered. The first visit happened under my nose. Sarah

1197
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 4: didn't want me to get upset, but in turn it

1198
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,120
Speaker 4: did cause me to get pissed because she didn't tell

1199
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 4: me that she was being rushed to the er. The

1200
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:36,720
Speaker 4: baby was fine, she was just super sick. The second

1201
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:41,840
Speaker 4: visit went to h E Double hockey Sticks. While Sarah

1202
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 4: is on medication, her mom proceeds to go off on

1203
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,400
Speaker 4: me that I caused all this, that I knocked up

1204
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 4: her daughter, and then it was my fault. I asked

1205
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:53,880
Speaker 4: her what she thought was going to happen. We were married,

1206
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 4: having spicy sleep, it was bound to happen. This pissed

1207
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,919
Speaker 4: her mom off. I kissed Sarah and proceed to leave.

1208
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 4: Turns out her mom had a reputation with the er

1209
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 4: staff there and could be heard screaming outside. Two nurses

1210
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,880
Speaker 4: ask me if I'm okay. I tell them it's cool.

1211
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,399
Speaker 4: Stress levels are high and she's just worried about her daughter.

1212
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:16,360
Speaker 4: What happened next is where I lost respect for her father.

1213
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 4: I went into the waiting room told him that I

1214
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 4: had to leave because of work in the morning. It

1215
00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 4: was two am at the time, and he asks how

1216
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:26,520
Speaker 4: she's doing. I give him an update. She's cool, keeping

1217
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 4: fluids down, et cetera, et cetera. I do what I

1218
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 4: thought was the right thing and give him a heads

1219
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 4: up that the wife is pissed. But then he questions me.

1220
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 4: I tell him what happened, and he proceeds to tell me, oh, well,

1221
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 4: she just gets like that. What the heck? She just

1222
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 4: gets like that. Something is seriously wrong here. Dude, do

1223
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 4: you mean she just gets like that. I hate when

1224
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 4: that's someone's explanation for everything. She's just like that. Come on, guys,

1225
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 4: we gotta do something here, Gotta do something. Her dad

1226
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,800
Speaker 4: seems to be a pushover. I lose all respect for

1227
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 4: him and go home. Maybe I'm wrong to just drop

1228
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 4: respect like that, but dude, seriously, if you can't stand

1229
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 4: up to your own wife when she's on a tirade,

1230
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:09,440
Speaker 4: then something is wrong. I always thought that he was

1231
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 4: just laid back, but now I realized that he just

1232
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 4: tunes his wife out so that he doesn't have to

1233
00:56:13,719 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 4: deal with it. So the pregnancy goes on, no more sickness,

1234
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 4: But it seems like her parents are now trying to

1235
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 4: get her to move closer to their house. Mom shows

1236
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 4: up uninvited at random times, and I've got several texts

1237
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 4: between her and her dad about places to rent. So

1238
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 4: here are the main points again. My drawers broke a

1239
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 4: few weeks back. Her dad and brother had come over

1240
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 4: that day to drop off two nights stands for our

1241
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:39,879
Speaker 4: bedroom that her aunt had offered due to them moving

1242
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 4: to somewhere small. So we accept it. They move them in.

1243
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:46,399
Speaker 4: Notice my dresser broke. I played off, it just needs

1244
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 4: a new screw, an old one stripped. I was just

1245
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 4: gonna fix it that night, and I did. The next day,

1246
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 4: her mother shows up with a new five hundred dollars

1247
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,840
Speaker 4: set of drawers for her daughter.

1248
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're trying to show off that. They're like, see,

1249
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 3: we can provide for our daughter. Yeah, you can't provide

1250
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 3: for you have a broken dresser. This is the day

1251
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:09,920
Speaker 3: after my birthday. We're both not decent, and my mother

1252
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 3: didn't call ahead.

1253
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 4: She just showed up. I answered the door, explained that

1254
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 4: it was my set, and she gets pissy. Her brother

1255
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 4: tells her, I told you it wasn't Sarah's set, and

1256
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 4: they leave to return the set. Last night, her father

1257
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 4: texted her. I noticed the phone light up. Sarah was

1258
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 4: cooking dinner, so I looked down and saw that it

1259
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:31,480
Speaker 4: was her dad. But I also saw the message. It said,

1260
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 4: there's a house to rent on X Road. Would you

1261
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 4: be interested?

1262
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 2: Now?

1263
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 4: What the egg? I worked my butt off to get

1264
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 4: the place that we are at now and continue to

1265
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 4: do so that way we live there. Where was his

1266
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 4: help a year and a half ago when we actually

1267
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 4: needed it. I didn't tell her I saw it, just

1268
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 4: that her dad texted. I haven't looked yet to see

1269
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 4: her response. Kinda don't want to. Doesn't matter what she said.

1270
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:57,600
Speaker 4: Just the thought that he would overstep me and try

1271
00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:00,080
Speaker 4: to offer a place closer to them just irks me.

1272
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 4: Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't know what to do.

1273
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 4: I know her family is really tight knit, almost scary wise.

1274
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 4: My family is close, but we are all so independent.

1275
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:11,920
Speaker 4: We drift and do our own thing most of the time.

1276
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 4: She never seems to have time for herself. She might

1277
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 4: stay at home one day a week. The rest is

1278
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 4: spent with her mother running about and doing whatever. She

1279
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 4: doesn't ever tell me that she is going out. I

1280
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 4: find out most of the time through Facebook. Posts from

1281
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 4: her cousins and the other family that she sees during

1282
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 4: the week. Then I try to give her the chance

1283
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 4: to tell me what's up, and it's always as simple.

1284
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 4: I just hung out with my mom when she went

1285
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 4: and saw half of her family. Interesting, It's like, why

1286
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 4: would you lie about that? Yeah, that's really weird. Her

1287
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 4: mom buys her so much crap it's not even funny.

1288
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:49,160
Speaker 4: I find snacks from Target and Walmart all the time,

1289
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 4: where she goes and buys Sarah medicine and house supplies

1290
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 4: that we can't afford. It makes me feel like they

1291
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 4: don't think I can provide at all, or that we

1292
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 4: are so poor that we can't buy anything, which isn't

1293
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 4: the case. For sure. I don't mind her going out,

1294
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 4: but it's gotten to the point where the house is

1295
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:08,360
Speaker 4: almost never cleaned and spicy sleep has become less and less.

1296
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 4: She's constantly tired, and I know being pregnant doesn't help.

1297
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:15,720
Speaker 4: The sink looks like crap, the house hasn't been dusted

1298
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 4: and god knows how long, And if she does decide

1299
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:22,440
Speaker 4: to clean, it's uh, half half budded, barely wiped down,

1300
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:25,120
Speaker 4: and just a bit of laundry done. Wait, why can't

1301
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 4: OPI do any of this? Oh, I don't know. I

1302
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:32,160
Speaker 4: think he's working. Yeah, but he's not working all the time.

1303
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:35,280
Speaker 3: It feels like, I mean, half of it is probably

1304
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 3: the amount of time she's spending with her mom. But yeah,

1305
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 3: a lot of this could be you know, she's tired

1306
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 3: from pregnancy and she doesn't have the same ability to

1307
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 3: clean all the house. Maybe, yeah, it's very possible. No,

1308
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 3: but I think either way, communication.

1309
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, communication is always important. And you know what else

1310
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:59,880
Speaker 4: is important us us checking us out on Spotify, Apple

1311
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 4: or iHeart Radio and cerchi okay story Time because you

1312
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 4: know it's there full episodes and more stories just like

1313
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 4: this one. So yeah, check us out. But there's a

1314
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 4: little bit more to the story. But yeah, what how

1315
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 4: do we think? What would you say if we're talking communication?

1316
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 4: What would you say?

1317
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 5: As op Okay, I would say, Hey, Girley girl, Hey girl,

1318
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:26,560
Speaker 5: noticed you've been spending a lot of time with your

1319
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 5: mom and like doing a lot of stuff for her,

1320
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:31,720
Speaker 5: Like I feel like we haven't been able to spend

1321
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 5: a lot of time together as partners.

1322
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:34,360
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1323
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 3: Uh, And I think like maybe maybe you know, I

1324
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:41,640
Speaker 3: would love to have a conversation with you about your parents'

1325
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 3: boundaries because it feels like they're I feel like they're

1326
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 3: overstepping mine. Yeah, And I want to talk to you

1327
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 3: about how you feel about that, and maybe we can

1328
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:53,200
Speaker 3: kind of find a middle ground where you obviously are

1329
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:57,760
Speaker 3: not gonna stop seeing them, but see them less.

1330
01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:02,320
Speaker 4: Right and maybe community just like asking how how the

1331
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:05,480
Speaker 4: wife feels with all this, how she feels being pregnant

1332
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:06,760
Speaker 4: with all this too big?

1333
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, and saying like, hey, do you need help with

1334
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:10,240
Speaker 3: the cleaning stuff?

1335
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1336
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 3: You know, like I've noticed, I feel like it's like

1337
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:15,920
Speaker 3: kind of uh been harder for you. Do we need

1338
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:17,440
Speaker 3: to like, if they have the money, do we need

1339
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 3: to hire someone to come? Like right, every couple weeks?

1340
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:24,160
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit more to this story.

1341
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 4: So I've been having to spend the weekends cleaning, which

1342
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:30,680
Speaker 4: I don't mind, but when I'm the only one working,

1343
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 4: I expect her to keep up the house a little

1344
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 4: bit when she can. Okay, there we go. That's almost

1345
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 4: impossible to do, though, when she's constantly with her mother.

1346
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 4: I don't know what to say to her. I've tried

1347
01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 4: talking to her about it, but it just gets swept

1348
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 4: under the rug until I finally can't take it anymore,

1349
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:47,920
Speaker 4: and then we get in a huge fight and there

1350
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 4: is a little edits. Thanks guys for a lot of

1351
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,160
Speaker 4: good points. I plan on getting a game plan together

1352
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 4: for the rest of the day at work. Uh. Work

1353
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:57,200
Speaker 4: should help me ease my mind a bit, but I'm

1354
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,680
Speaker 4: sure i'll just get antsy again here soon. I'll check

1355
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 4: out those groups and subs when I get home. I

1356
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 4: think I may take tonight to get everything together for

1357
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:08,120
Speaker 4: a talk, though I don't know yet. And that is

1358
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:11,040
Speaker 4: the end of that story. And then you freaking have it, brother, there.

1359
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:11,440
Speaker 2: You have it.

1360
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 4: So, yeah, you did talk, and it seems like you know,

1361
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,200
Speaker 4: things didn't really happen exactly.

1362
01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 3: I haven't had an effective conversation. Yeah, so hopefully they're

1363
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 3: able to have one of those suit Yeah a sap, yes,

1364
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:26,320
Speaker 3: they say,