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Speaker 1: Hey, it's Chris Fairbanks, host of the podcast you're currently

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Speaker 1: listening to. I have just a weekend of shows I'd

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Speaker 1: like to announce at the end of the month here

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Speaker 1: in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, January twenty fourth and twenty fifth, I'll

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Speaker 1: be at the Laughing Tap Comedy specific comedy Club. Get

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Speaker 1: tickets at Chris Fairbanks dot com. Thank you and you're welcome.

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Speaker 2: Are you leaving?

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Speaker 1: I you wanna way back home?

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Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you clean.

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Speaker 4: Give us time and they turning on engage.

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Speaker 1: We want to send you uf instil.

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Speaker 2: We want to welcome you back home.

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Speaker 4: Tell us all about ity scared or was it fine? Melbourne?

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Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need.

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Speaker 1: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?

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Speaker 1: This is Chrisphairbanks and this is Karen Kilgarriff. We're doing

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Speaker 1: our first musical epison.

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Speaker 2: Do you feel about it?

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Speaker 1: It's so far so it was a minor over sight

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Speaker 1: adding this choreography. Why are we dancing? To an audio show.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't really make sense that we're singing either, because

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Speaker 4: we're not that good at it, and this isn't that entertaining.

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Speaker 1: I hope a lot of people didn't just log off.

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Speaker 1: Am I using that is it? Would it be a

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Speaker 1: log off, It would be a full log off. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for coming to Do You Need a Ride? Dot com

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Speaker 1: slash http and logging on to our live net broadcast.

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Speaker 2: It's really more of a free form art vibe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this episode. I always say I'm good at improv,

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Speaker 1: but that was before you know, people were asking me

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Speaker 1: to do it. Now, when I get asked to do

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Speaker 1: it or I'm suddenly doing it now, I'm just bad

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Speaker 1: at it. Yeah, I feel like it's.

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Speaker 2: Like me and the Witch Jokes just cannot perform.

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Speaker 1: On the Today in a folder that is part of

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Speaker 1: Instagram that I always ignore because it's like requests. I

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Speaker 1: just noticed there's years of people saying, like the nicest

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Speaker 1: people that for whatever reason, I think they have a

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Speaker 1: private account. But I got a pitch for the end

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Speaker 1: of the witch Joke from Just Today.

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Speaker 2: Robert Booth give Robert credit.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Robert Boose said, I was listening to Do You

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Speaker 1: Need a Ride? With the witch moon joke. Can I

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Speaker 1: propose a closer What if the witch says pumpkin rata

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Speaker 1: toui and then cackles. But you still might need some

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Speaker 1: sort of reflection statement, like I guess the universe is

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Speaker 1: telling me to try new foods. He said pumpkin rata tooy,

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Speaker 1: because again it was a there was a rat right

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Speaker 1: in the.

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Speaker 2: Pumpkin, referencing what's already been described.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't I like that he was thinking, well,

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Speaker 1: there's a rat in there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he's trying to make the joke work, Yes, as

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Speaker 4: an actual joke.

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Speaker 1: And I really appreciate because you and I. The only

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Speaker 1: reason I brought it up is I knew it was

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Speaker 1: a mute premise.

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Speaker 2: Mute is that a new.

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Speaker 1: I think it is a null avoid present, A bad

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Speaker 1: prem a bad premise. There we go, got you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: humpkin ratachuey, pumpkin rata chuy.

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Speaker 2: But then the in the witch voice.

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Speaker 1: Pumpkin rata chwey.

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Speaker 2: Again.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why I can't do a witch voice.

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Speaker 1: I always turn into a cartoon villain.

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Speaker 4: How about well, because their witches culturally totally oppressed, completely

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Speaker 4: bias opinion about who they are as people. Second, you

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Speaker 4: see that hat, you're supposed to believe she's of the devil.

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Speaker 4: It's munch bullshit. It's been go on for a long time.

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Speaker 4: Let's not get into it.

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Speaker 2: Here's my pitch. Robert has inspired me. I think I've

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Speaker 2: done it.

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Speaker 4: The Witch pulls up and goes, is it this season

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Speaker 4: for pumpkin spice locked? As?

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Speaker 1: Oh, like, that's why the Witch stopped in front of

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Speaker 1: the moon. She thought it was the beginning of a

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Speaker 1: line to a drive through.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it are you guys making pumpkins spice locked? Here's

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Speaker 4: what I did. And this happens a lot in comedy writing,

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Speaker 4: especially we're in a room together, only usually the genders

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Speaker 4: are reversed. Robert pitch is a perfectly great solution to

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Speaker 4: that joke problem. And I come in with a parallel pitch.

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Speaker 2: That's bad.

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Speaker 4: And then I'm just like, as if I'm somehow forwarding

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Speaker 4: this conversation instead of sending it to.

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Speaker 1: The And then yeah, you get all the credit, yes,

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Speaker 1: because I.

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Speaker 4: Just pitched a new different food basically of like, oh,

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Speaker 4: what if it's a hackier food?

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Speaker 1: Well let me be Robert. Now, okay, well we could

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Speaker 1: combine them both and say, is this the line for

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Speaker 1: pumpkin spice rata touey lattes. I throw the ratituey back

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Speaker 1: in just.

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Speaker 2: For Robert's sake. Yes, now he is a professional.

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Speaker 1: Writer, right, I don't know. I don't know Rob Titanic.

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Speaker 1: Really no, the fans of this podcast.

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Speaker 4: Oh, far and wide, all kinds of people doing all

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Speaker 4: kinds of things in the world.

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Speaker 1: I at the beginning of Bowling League the other night

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Speaker 1: where I'm just an alternate.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so that means you're hanging out at the bowling

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Speaker 4: alley hoping.

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Speaker 1: I yeh, I just it's weird. I just hitch. I

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Speaker 1: hold my thumb out because I want which in the

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Speaker 1: bowling world, lets people know I don't bowl with my

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Speaker 1: thumb and the ball.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I thought you. And you're like hitch trying

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Speaker 2: to hitch onto a bowling team.

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Speaker 1: Well, then I'm worried that I'll just end up in

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Speaker 1: a car and get abducted. I think in the bowling

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Speaker 1: world they know what a thumbs up means. It means

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Speaker 1: I just bowl with my fingers two fingers in thumb

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Speaker 1: cradling the ball. Anyway, we were about to bowl and

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Speaker 1: this guy was at the Roosevelt being basically choked out,

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Speaker 1: trying to fight everyone, losing his mind why and I

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Speaker 1: missed the part. I later found out he was just

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Speaker 1: being a lunatic and having some sort of psychotic break.

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Speaker 1: But he kept saying I wrote like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to say what movies. He kept saying, I wrote this

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Speaker 1: movie and this movie. And I looked him up and

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Speaker 1: he indeed was the writer of these blockbuster movies. But

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Speaker 1: he was like a young angry looked like he had

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Speaker 1: no business being in the Roosevelt because he's disheveled and

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Speaker 1: obviously hasn't been doing well since these two thousand and

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Speaker 1: five hits.

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Speaker 2: That's horrible.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it kind of takes the scheme out of

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Speaker 1: my story because I'm I'm not saying the movies because

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Speaker 1: I don't want I don't know why I want to.

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Speaker 1: This guy was a dick, He has been a dick.

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Speaker 4: But he also that wasn't his choice. He was mentally unstable, right.

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Speaker 1: Right, And but everything I've read was like there was

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Speaker 1: a time where he wasn't and he was talking about

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Speaker 1: sobriety and buying the house and taking care of some

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Speaker 1: kid that he had out of wedlock, and became the

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Speaker 1: father like basically adopted this and cut to living in

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Speaker 1: a hotel getting in fights because there's been no part

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Speaker 1: two of Beep.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the movie Beep, the movie Beep.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why I did that.

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Speaker 4: It's so dark because this town, truly you can have

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Speaker 4: that life where you're like, I have it all, I

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Speaker 4: lost it all, I got it all back. Wait, now

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Speaker 4: I suddenly am addicted to fentanyl for some reason. Wait,

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Speaker 4: everything is possible. And also it's kind of boring. It's

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Speaker 4: the most confusing town to live in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, AD do it that. It's kind of boring.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of boring.

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Speaker 1: I think that it's an exciting place to live. But

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Speaker 1: no matter what you think of that sounds exciting, there

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Speaker 1: will be no parking.

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Speaker 2: There will be no parking.

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Speaker 4: And if you are, if you're working on the exciting thing,

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Speaker 4: you're working your ass off to a degree that's insane. Right.

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Speaker 4: So this guy that was upset was basically probably like

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Speaker 4: I poured my heart and soul into this. I started

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Speaker 4: this career and you're telling me it doesn't go forever.

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Speaker 2: Yes, fuck you, guys.

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Speaker 1: But was the most hateable person when I came into

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Speaker 1: his life, sure, because he was like trying to fight people.

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Speaker 1: And the guy was like, please get to stop, because

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Speaker 1: for some reason the security wasn't immediately taking care of it.

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Speaker 1: I just I witnessed all this happened, and he was

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Speaker 1: just throwing punches.

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Speaker 4: And you weren't right in there trying to throw punches

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Speaker 4: like you love to do.

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Speaker 1: No, I was actually scared. Oh yeah, I don't know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I And it was right after I hit my boxing

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Speaker 1: boxing coach my box. Okay, I've been playing bochi ball.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, admitted the story about.

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Speaker 1: Boxing was all fabricated. I threw a botchy ball at

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Speaker 1: the coach's face.

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Speaker 2: And when you're talking about boxing, do you mean bowling?

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Speaker 1: I every story. I've never even stood on a skateboard.

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Speaker 1: I've been talking about bowling this whole time.

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Speaker 4: Lives Lives, Lives, otho, the old story of boxing. When

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Speaker 4: you punched your boxing Yes.

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Speaker 1: I pretend that, Uh, episodes we recorded months ago just happened.

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Speaker 2: Okay, No, it's all fresh for you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it's all fresh trauma. But I know I

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Speaker 1: when someone is being uh you know, held down because

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Speaker 1: they're losing their mind and they're big and they have

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Speaker 1: nothing to lose and they have a wild look in

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Speaker 1: their eye and they're drunk, all those things, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: calm walking into ball. Yeah, I do not. Yeah, even

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Speaker 1: if I'm even I'm wild eyed, I don't want anything

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Speaker 1: to do with it. I just talked tough. Well.

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Speaker 4: You also, it's like it's much easier to get into

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Speaker 4: a fistfight with like a drunk stand up comic than

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Speaker 4: this kind of uh you know, X factor.

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Speaker 2: You have no idea what that could bring in your door.

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Speaker 1: And I've never I've never gotten that fight with a

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Speaker 1: drunk stand up comic. There's been, you know.

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Speaker 2: Just that lady security guard.

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Speaker 1: Well, let me remind you. She was antagonizing me while

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Speaker 1: vaping and I called her vape cop. Okay, that's not that, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, vape cop okay. But that was in Portland

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Speaker 1: and the security at a party who was bothering me

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Speaker 1: because there was the bathroom. There's a huge line. I

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Speaker 1: went by a dumpster. We were in an industrial area,

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Speaker 1: no one was around. She hunted me down people around,

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Speaker 1: not by the dumpster. I was going to the bathroom

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Speaker 1: by the dumpster. It's like she came to just validate

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Speaker 1: her being hired that night.

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Speaker 4: You're not allowed to do that in public though, No,

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Speaker 4: you're right, So I should have just said you're right.

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Speaker 2: Said said, thank you, vape cup.

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Speaker 4: You've taught me a valuable lesson about peeing.

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Speaker 1: Yes, because I understand. Yes, it's a serious law. What

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Speaker 1: if a child was out at two am in the

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Speaker 1: industrial part of Portland behind am and saw my mutilated genitals,

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Speaker 1: was traumatized. I don't want to get into it. It

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Speaker 1: was a bully accident.

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Speaker 4: Please don't do not. We have to circle back around.

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Speaker 4: So I'm sorry. When you were thumb out bowling, that

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Speaker 4: was and the and the man wanted to fight everybody

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Speaker 4: because he used to be famous. Yes, that was at

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Speaker 4: Oh that's a new place that they're putting there.

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Speaker 1: That's good. I like that. I like how they're trying

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Speaker 1: to mimic the architecture of the nearby whatever restaurant. That's

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Speaker 1: fancy smokehouse. Smokehouse, doesn't it have has gables and looks

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Speaker 1: like and whatnot? And and eves and me if you will,

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Speaker 1: uh sorry again the bull so thumb.

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Speaker 2: Out come out.

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Speaker 4: Well, but Roosevelt, if you've never been listening to the

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Speaker 4: Roosevelt Bar, it's in the Roosevelt Hotel, which is a

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Speaker 4: historic gorgeous hotel on Hollywood Boulevard.

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Speaker 2: Lots of famous people have been there, and there is a.

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Speaker 4: Bar on the second floor stairs up, and it is

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Speaker 4: so beautiful.

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Speaker 2: We had our Christmas exactly right Christmas party there last year.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 4: And they have two lanes of bowling kind of in

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Speaker 4: the middle of this fancy, old dark wood bar.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And and the shoes are cobbled by a designer.

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Speaker 1: They're like three hundred dollars shoes that you get to wear.

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Speaker 2: Yes, is that true?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yes, I'd remember I got to wear Kelly Green shoes

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Speaker 1: and I wanted them. And there's like a bowling caddy

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Speaker 1: guy that keeps the score and he has suspenders and

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Speaker 1: gives me a lot of tips. He's like, last time,

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Speaker 1: you release the ball right at the line. This time,

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Speaker 1: I want you to like unsolicited but correct advice. Yea,

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Speaker 1: the only kind of unsolicited advice I'd like to receive. Yes,

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Speaker 1: And he's helped me be a better bowler and a

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Speaker 1: better person.

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Speaker 2: Nice. I love that.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, that it was that that place.

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Speaker 2: Is because you weren't just getting bowling tips. You were being.

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Speaker 4: Taught how to take notes, how to take constructive criticism

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Speaker 4: right hard.

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Speaker 2: To do. The vape crop didn't do it right.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, right exactly, giving any helpful options, no,

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Speaker 1: like why don't you pee yourself while waiting in line?

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Speaker 1: That was the only option I knew of.

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Speaker 4: She didn't understand you're the weird situation with your bladder.

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Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, ma'am. I know that vaping is just fun

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Speaker 1: for you. For me, it's a way to shrink my prostate.

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Speaker 1: Please leave me alone. And then I took a tug

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Speaker 1: off her vape. You're a vape cop. I'm a vape purp.

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Speaker 2: I'm get ready for some vape justice.

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Speaker 1: What's my crime? Showing myself to the Department of Sanitations

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Speaker 1: object without any eyes? I meant to say in an

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Speaker 1: it you know it's fine.

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Speaker 4: Everyone understands you, except the vape cop. She doesn't know

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Speaker 4: what the fuck you're doing.

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Speaker 1: Again, the next day riddled with regret, as I always

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Speaker 1: felt the day after drinking. Sure I have not had

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Speaker 1: I've not woken up with regret for two years now.

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Speaker 2: How does it feel?

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Speaker 1: It feels great? But so boring?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty boring.

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Speaker 1: I found the police lady's number and I sent a

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Speaker 1: text and said I'm sorry about last night. I'm the

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Speaker 1: guy that was saying vape Cop being an idiot at

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Speaker 1: the party. Please accept my apology, which I thought was

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Speaker 1: it was a long, well worded better better wording than

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Speaker 1: some than some things I've said currently tonight today I'm nervous. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm on call.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's right.

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Speaker 4: You want to tell the people, we can, but really quick,

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Speaker 4: vave Cop. I think you've told this, but I can't remember.

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Speaker 4: Probably vape Cop. It's fresh to me. Vape Cop forgave you?

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Speaker 4: Or was she like I said, okay, fuck her?

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Speaker 1: Then? Yeah? Right ya bake you caro. Sometimes it's a journey. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you always meet me.

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Speaker 2: I have I know I have to, but you have

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Speaker 2: to make me right. Is how we do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for you, the journey. There's a crosswalk and the

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Speaker 1: don't walk is blanking, and I'm driving all around town,

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Speaker 1: but inevitably we both meet.

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Speaker 2: You're driving all around town.

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Speaker 1: To meet you at the corner.

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Speaker 4: You're on foot with a tortured pet or something like that.

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Speaker 4: So I'm always like, I don't want.

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Speaker 2: To get in this car.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's add to this analogy. Okay, I'm driving around town,

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Speaker 1: trying late at night, trying to find a vet, a

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Speaker 1: vet for my pet vet pet, Yeah, vet, pet, thank you.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. It would be a pet vet.

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Speaker 4: A vape vet, a vape vet, very dangerous for those.

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Speaker 1: Pets and for those vets. You know, weret talk about

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Speaker 1: those that have served and the Chevrolet Corvette.

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Speaker 2: Why aren't we talking about it?

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Speaker 1: Why aren't we let's talk about.

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Speaker 2: Why can't we right now?

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Speaker 1: Let's do it?

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Speaker 4: But you know why because we have exciting news and

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Speaker 4: you were about to say you're nervous right now?

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Speaker 1: Becalled, oh, thank you. See it's so not in the ordinary,

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Speaker 1: not in the ordinary. Maybe I shouldn't get this call

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Speaker 1: to night. The director Kimmel said, hey, are you? Is

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Speaker 1: this your number? Chris? Is this Chris's number still? And

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Speaker 1: I said, yes? Is is something happening tonight? Is? Actually?

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Speaker 1: I said, is this a wedding invite? Because he had

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Speaker 1: a crush on the singer of the band that opened

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Speaker 1: for LCD sound System, I ran into him at LCD

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Speaker 1: Sounds is.

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Speaker 2: Oh right, okay?

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Speaker 1: So as a joke he said, sadly, no, uh hang

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Speaker 1: tight though, so hang tight means I will I will

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Speaker 1: hang but I will be tight as a drum because

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Speaker 1: I don't know if we have to drop me off

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Speaker 1: at the El Capitan to do what. Who knows a character.

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Speaker 2: Could be A character could be a stand up comedy.

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Speaker 1: Do they do stand up anymore?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, do they?

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Speaker 2: I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: No, I'd probably be Yeah, we want you to be

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Speaker 1: Matt Getz falling down the stairs or something great. I

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Speaker 1: can do that.

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Speaker 2: You can do that.

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Speaker 1: Also, I'll come with my eyebrows done. Well he is

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Speaker 1: I'm saying gry eyebrows.

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Speaker 2: That's true. Yeah, you go get botox. Yes, at some point.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think are you good at memorizing lines?

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Speaker 2: Or do you? When you do stuff there? Do you

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Speaker 2: get to read off a teleprompter?

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Speaker 1: I don't think I am good at memorizing lines, but

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Speaker 1: I do have more faith in my ability to memorize

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Speaker 1: than to read a teleproctor. Yeah, so uh it, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I I uh let's check. Let's check to see if

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be on Kimmel doing god knows what.

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Speaker 1: Nothing yet? Okay, nothing yet.

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Speaker 4: That's a pretty selfish, or at least maybe not super

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Speaker 4: self aware thing for that director to write, because what

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Speaker 4: if he's like hang tight because he was like eating

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Speaker 4: a sandwich, and then when he's done. He's like, anyway,

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Speaker 4: I'm probably gonna ask that girl up. No, it's like

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Speaker 4: there's nothing to do with anything at all.

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Speaker 2: No.

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00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,200
Speaker 1: No, he did say I wrote a sketch that oh yeah,

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00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 1: oh nic, And I'm like, wait, does that shoot tonight?

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm waiting tight. So I'm not telling you anything.

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Speaker 1: It might be it's good for the future. And this

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Speaker 1: is a friend of mine. Andy Fisher was a comic.

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Speaker 1: When I was in Austin. He was in a duo

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Speaker 1: with our friend Leon Mandel, who I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I do not, they're the best and they were duo

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Speaker 1: and Bob Odenkirk saw them once and produced a little

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00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: pilot episode and it was so weird and funny. They

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Speaker 1: were a duo that while they were on stage I

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Speaker 1: would be nervous because they made the craziest decisions, Like

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Speaker 1: Andy used to sing Fastcar by Tracy Chapman, perfectly mimicking

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Speaker 1: her voice, while Leon was John Belushi overdosing, and so

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Speaker 1: he would just go into the audience violently vomiting and

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Speaker 1: fake Vomit was getting on people, and then he'd drank

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Speaker 1: kiss people. And meanwhile, Andy, it's just two things happening

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Speaker 1: at once, they're like, well you do this and just

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00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:50,200
Speaker 1: random theater please. Early two thousand's the most alternative comedy

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00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: you've ever seen. Hell yeah, And they were geniuses in

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Speaker 1: my mind. Then we moved here and he needed a job,

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Speaker 1: so to get hired as an editor at Jimmy Kimmel Live.

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Speaker 1: And now he's for ten years now been the director

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00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: in that big room camera Ford.

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00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:11,120
Speaker 2: Like, I went in there.

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00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, roll it, go to tape. He yells at people,

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00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 1: you're fired. Now. It's very nice, but he's in that

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00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 1: job where he probably intimidates you know, he runs that show. Yes,

387
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 1: But to me, he's the same Andy that I don't

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Speaker 1: think anyone there knows how funny he is as a

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Speaker 1: performer because he's been a director for years.

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00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 2: That's his little secret. He gets to have that secret.

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00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: And I ran into it Andy and Leone LCD sound System,

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00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: and it's so fun to hang out with them again

393
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Speaker 1: just because Yeah.

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Speaker 4: It's also because usually a lot of the super brilliant

395
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Speaker 4: comedians that I knew from early two thousands that were

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Speaker 4: like really thinking of cool shit like that and funny

397
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 4: and definitely individual. Like it's always a sad story, right,

398
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 4: It's like no one goes and now I'm the director

399
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 4: at Kimmel.

400
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 2: That almost never fucking happened.

401
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Andy, uh ear Leon, his partner in the comedy,

402
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 1: is in many things as a character. Actory. They're both

403
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 1: doing great.

404
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 2: Will you show me a picture of Leon?

405
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 1: I will right now. I think you might recognize you

406
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: better recognize. Let's see Leon Mandel seventy three, former publisher

407
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 1: of Autoweek, dies, Oh, don't worry, it's a different Leon.

408
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 2: Thank god.

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00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 4: That's how you find out he's seventy three.

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00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 1: He looks great.

411
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 2: It's Nutso.

412
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 1: Here you go. Here's his ion b. This is I mean,

413
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: thank you for sticking with us, and I'm sorry we

414
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 1: bailed on our first ever musical episode.

415
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Speaker 2: Hey listener, you're welcome, You're welcome.

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00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: That's that's Leon. Okay, look at those two pictures. How

417
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: did you He's wearing the same.

418
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 4: He faced Fucky photoshopped a different shirt onto two different Well.

419
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 1: The one eye is like, ooh, I'm kind of frisky.

420
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 1: And then it's like that I became business.

421
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 2: That I'm breaking into your car as you stare at me.

422
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, like one's wink about to wink.

423
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 2: That was director.

424
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 1: That's so funny.

425
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:27,199
Speaker 2: I'm going to kill you.

426
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 1: Oh, welcome to the episode where we roast my friend's headshots.

427
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 2: Leon, you've been roasted?

428
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just watched. Sometimes I forget that Andy Samberg

429
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 1: has made me laugh.

430
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 2: He did, Oh my god, he did really funny.

431
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 1: He's so funny. And he did some roast where he's

432
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: just complimenting everyone where he's like sez An Sari's here.

433
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: His parents are from India and he grew up in

434
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: North Carolina. How's it feel that have an interesting perspective

435
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: on what it is to be American? Shit, Like he

436
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 1: just said, I don't know, but I never butchered a

437
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: thing more. I start to panic just now. Yeah, because

438
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 1: any time you're doing someone else's.

439
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,640
Speaker 4: Joke, okay, but here's the thing, you better get over

440
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 4: that because you have to go to Kimmel tonight and nail.

441
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: It and do someone else's joke.

442
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,959
Speaker 2: So do someone else's joke right now.

443
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 1: I'm getting it out of my system.

444
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, fucking it up?

445
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, good god, this podcast. I make a living

446
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: off fuck them ups. No one knows. The minute we're

447
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 1: done recording, I become the most confident, buy the book

448
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 1: trained actor.

449
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

450
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 1: Uh and no one's ever seen it. No, because I

451
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 1: save it. You save it for the big one. Yeah

452
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 1: that's upcoming, right, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I spend all the

453
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: stupid on this podcast, so I save up all the

454
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: smarts for later.

455
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

456
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 4: You have to kind of clear it out, like a

457
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 4: gasket or something in a car.

458
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

459
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 2: Or's hair, he's Elvia's hair.

460
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's perfect hair. And he knows it.

461
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 2: He's so stuck up.

462
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 1: I saw my unreasonably handsome garbage man. You kind of

463
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 1: don't like it when I bring this guy up.

464
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 4: No, no, no, that was a kind of like wistful.

465
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 4: I love a attractive garbage man.

466
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: It is. Well, now he's taken to I don't steroids.

467
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 1: He's bulked up, he's ripped good. He looks like Gosling.

468
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:46,879
Speaker 1: But he's got some you know, Dahmer eyeglasses. So you

469
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: know he's like either a killer or he's like a

470
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 1: hipster guy. Yeah, but he's bulked up, about thirty pounds

471
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: of solid muscle.

472
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 2: Nice.

473
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 1: And if this story's turning you on, I can tell

474
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: its slower if you go to my only fans. I recite.

475
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 2: About other people who are a dragon.

476
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: Mostly laborers. In my neighborhood. Some are in a union.

477
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: It's all hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hot union description porn.

478
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 2: Everybody. Everybody likes a pension plan.

479
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: Yeah that's whatever. Yeah, yeah, I go for the deep

480
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: dark web and describe. Then just find me on there.

481
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 4: I feel like that person. I'm just going to do

482
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 4: a quick guess of that person. I think I'm right.

483
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 2: Is if he's a Gosling looker in the first place,

484
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,679
Speaker 2: and you first swim skinny and he was being a

485
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:46,360
Speaker 2: garbage man.

486
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, he just wasn't mute. He was ripped, but like,

487
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 1: oh that guy runs marathons. Now it's like, oh he.

488
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 4: Squats, yeah, sinewy to beefy beefcake. And so I think

489
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,360
Speaker 4: he was an actor. That's like, I need a good job,

490
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 4: good paying job. I got this in and it will

491
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 4: be interesting for me. And then he starts doing it

492
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 4: and realizes this is the look, this is the life.

493
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 4: Like I am flourishing and thriving. Yeah, I'm now playing

494
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 4: the part of the beefy garbage man.

495
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 5: Right.

496
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,400
Speaker 2: No one wants a sinewy garbage man.

497
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 1: And from a distance, it's like, oh, look at that

498
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 1: guy in Carharts that's ripped with a tight white T

499
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 1: shirt that has some smudges on it. Then you get

500
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: closer and you realize those smudges are any number of

501
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 1: unspeakable things that I could now say.

502
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, same sam boo boop.

503
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: I mean the garbage is the the dumpster, specifically where

504
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: I see him often as a Petra's patras Burgers. It

505
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 1: is the smelliest because they throw away I don't know,

506
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 1: retired food, sour beef.

507
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 2: Fifty five year old food.

508
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is the smelliest, and it's just all

509
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: over his shirt like that is a job. I maybe

510
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: he has no sense of smell. Could be because that's

511
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: what has kept me away from that business, is my

512
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: gag reflet.

513
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 2: That's not what's kept you away.

514
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: I can't even stand having anything on my hands. I'm

515
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 1: afraid to get my hands dirty literally, which yeah, with

516
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: a lot of careers that you get a bad rap?

517
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: Or is it rap? I'm seriously asking.

518
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know what you're what do you say

519
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 2: the sentence again?

520
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 1: I if you are afraid to get your hands dirty,

521
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 1: you get a bad rap in my business.

522
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, rap is the saying.

523
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: But isn't rap accurate? Also accurate?

524
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 4: It's accurate, But I think getting a bad rap is

525
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 4: like a rap sheet. I think it's from the fifties

526
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 4: or earlier, so a rep is more current of like

527
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 4: a thing you'd have and get what era?

528
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 1: And I've been waiting to roast you on this, but

529
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 1: you know I'm a slow burner. What era is the

530
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: pronunciation of Roosevelt Roosevelt? Gotcha? Gotcha? It took like ten minutes.

531
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: Roosevelt the Roosevelt. That's how I say.

532
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: We were born in the same area of California. Yeah,

533
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: how is do you say President Roosevelt?

534
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 2: Yeah?

535
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 1: Oh wow?

536
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 2: Can you say Roosevelt Roosevelt?

537
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 1: Yeah?

538
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 4: Sorry, Now I'm having like a Mandela effect thing where

539
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't know which one is right at all.

540
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: Tell me you don't smell toast, I mean goodbye, and

541
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: I'm being I'm being a dick.

542
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 2: Sorry, No, you can't.

543
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: A lot of people say Roosevelt.

544
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 4: We have to pull on a lise into this one,

545
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 4: because what the fuck is going on?

546
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 2: Right?

547
00:30:54,880 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 1: Like Franklin Delano, Deleanor Roosevelt. Yes, it's how I say.

548
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's correct. Do you answer I pronounced it Roosevelt.

549
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm that's two against

550
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 2: one though. The thing I hate the most.

551
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: This school yard rules. If two against one.

552
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 4: I've lived my whole life to not be the one,

553
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 4: and now I am.

554
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 2: Damn it.

555
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 4: The Roosevelt what what is that?

556
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 1: Well? That robot?

557
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 2: He doesn't know there.

558
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: Are there are certain areas I my friend's mom used

559
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: to say, Hey, I washed your cloth. I used to

560
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: find it charming.

561
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 4: Yes, that's a in California. That's a kind of central

562
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 4: Valley thing. My friend Dave said worst and he also

563
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,479
Speaker 4: said a pin? Can you hand me that pin? Instead

564
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 4: of wow? And also Bay Area my cousin's South Bay

565
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 4: how an ax up like they.

566
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 2: You know, it was the eighties, but yeah there act.

567
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: I wonder how I would have sounded if I stayed

568
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: in Mono. Hey, would you like to buy a glass

569
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 1: dolphin sculpture? That's what I do for a living. Pardon me?

570
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: You buy the war Do you need it? Extra fishermen?

571
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 1: Because I fish, dude. I also though, make sculptures of

572
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: fish with glass everything.

573
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 4: What if Kimmel calls you and they're like, we need

574
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 4: a Monterey baye based surfer, dumb guy?

575
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 1: I would faint? I would would I'm gonna nail this

576
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: so hard that I'm gonna faint, need to go to

577
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: the hospital and miss the taping. But what a story. Yeah,

578
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 1: it would be a story for the nurses that took

579
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 1: care of me.

580
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 2: Look at this. Look at the path we're about to take.

581
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,959
Speaker 2: It looks like the fucking stock market, hower me. You know,

582
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 2: there's so many fuck up left turns.

583
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: God, well, if it is a stock market, it is

584
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 1: going up according to this map. So if you heard

585
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: it here first, our destination is the twentieth of January,

586
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: where it comes to a complete stop, noted by a black.

587
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 2: The dot that is. Yeah, well what Chris is looking at?

588
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: Yes? Hold, yes, I have to describe what I'm looking

589
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 1: at looking at dude, Dude, I'm just describing what I'm

590
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: looking at.

591
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 4: Did you ever snowboard or skateboard with people that talk

592
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 4: like that? Do you think that's why this character is

593
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 4: so readily available?

594
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: See it's so funny because yes, there was an accent

595
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: that and I love one of my best friends ever,

596
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: Ross came back from snowboard camp on ar and he

597
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 1: kind of talk like this. He's like, yeah, it's pretty cool, dude,

598
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:03,959
Speaker 1: But it was a boise Idaho accent. He was hanging

599
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: out with our good friend Greg and I went to

600
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: Boise and I realized everyone in Boise kind of talks

601
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: like this, and they it's I'm not even doing it

602
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 1: justice because I am doing the surfer guy.

603
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 3: But there was something about like the delivery, like a subdued,

604
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 3: tiny mouth, like tight lipped. They all talk like this,

605
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,800
Speaker 3: and but it's funny because it's not. It's Idaho.

606
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 1: So they're like, Oh, my dad's a sugar beet farmer,

607
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:45,359
Speaker 1: and it's pretty fucking gnarly. Dude, take that Boise God.

608
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: This episode, it's.

609
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 4: Just like we're tearing you apart. I'm jumping on it.

610
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,359
Speaker 4: We're just tearing your ass, Karen and I.

611
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 1: Are ripping you to shreds be town, ripping you.

612
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 4: Idaho lot of white supremacy, a lot of whit frightening.

613
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 1: Amount, but also a lot of like, uh, I went

614
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: to the gay Pride parade there and it was I

615
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,919
Speaker 1: was tears. Yes, I happened to get on the wrong

616
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 1: side of the road and she knows that she had

617
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: to look a panic. That's like, I don't have time

618
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 1: to tell you, but I just got booked on something

619
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 1: at Kimmel.

620
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,359
Speaker 2: Oh that girl was taking her Surfa art.

621
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: As we speak, she knows nothing about the art scene

622
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: in Monterey. Mosaics, dolphin paintings, dolphin sculptures.

623
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:45,720
Speaker 6: Caramel caramel cararamel, saltwater, taffy stores, Teddy Roosevelt dolls, and

624
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:50,479
Speaker 6: Clan Eastwood's may oral office.

625
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 4: I told you at the time I saw Clane Swood

626
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 4: in a car on Laurel Canyon Inventura right. No, I

627
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 4: was coming up Laurel Canyon. He was coming down Laurel

628
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 4: Ke and he was turning right onto Ventura. I was

629
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 4: turning left on Ventura. So we were both in the

630
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 4: intersection together staring at each other, and it looked like

631
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 4: a poster for a clean Eastwood movie, except where it

632
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,280
Speaker 4: was him in a light blue Jaguar.

633
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,760
Speaker 2: Wow, and it was cool.

634
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 1: Was it like an old Jaguar or a new one? Old?

635
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,359
Speaker 4: And like it was like clearly his fancy movie star

636
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 4: car but from nineteen eighty one.

637
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 1: Oh, that's that's great. Did he look at you and go, well,

638
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: you're going to turn left? Punk?

639
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 2: He looked like he could have said that because his eyebrows.

640
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 4: I think he has the thing my dad has where

641
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 4: it's just like constant eyebrow furrowing over nothing. So it

642
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 4: looks like you're either thinking or mad all the time.

643
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

644
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 2: I think he has that too.

645
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's he did always have those wild.

646
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 4: Eyebrows and that lack of an upper lip that brought

647
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 4: the intensity to a boy.

648
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. The only I watched In the Line of Fire recently.

649
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:10,240
Speaker 1: Great film it is, and it's one of those uh

650
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: you know where John Malkovich is oh very good. Oh

651
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 1: my god, Well he has the Nicholas Cage ability to

652
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 1: not be good lately. May I go on a limb?

653
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 4: I mean, I am behind you and supporting you in

654
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 4: this theory and purely just an opinion because clearly, oh

655
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 4: look at there's the.

656
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 1: Is it an opinion or did you just get roasted Malcolvich?

657
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 2: Oh shit, Malkovich, even you're not.

658
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,280
Speaker 1: Safe, No one's safe.

659
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 4: I love the idea that we would just talk to

660
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 4: John Malkovich like he is a listener. You motherfucker. You've

661
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 4: been here for fourteen years. Finally were coming at you.

662
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but that movie.

663
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 4: We used to when we would come home drunk in

664
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 4: the nineties, we would put it on. And I had

665
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 4: a friend who knew all of John Malcovitch's lines because

666
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 4: he worshiped the job he did in that movie so much.

667
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, that it.

668
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,839
Speaker 2: Was like a thing he had to reenact, right.

669
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: And it's funny because I watch it now and uh,

670
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: maybe I'm becoming someone frustrated with my country. But a

671
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: lot of what Malkovich says makes sense. Yeah, it's And

672
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 1: then you've watched Clint Eastwood, who's supposed to be the hero,

673
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:28,760
Speaker 1: and he is a womanizing like like very sexually inappropriate

674
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: all the time with the who's the main star? She's

675
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: the best? Uh?

676
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 2: Is it Melanie Myron?

677
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 1: No?

678
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 2: Is it Melanie?

679
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: No, it's Julia Roberts. Let's just go with Julia Roberts

680
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: or Julia Roberts type as it said on her audition papers.

681
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,720
Speaker 2: What color hair does she have in? What was the length?

682
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 1: Brown? Uh?

683
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:58,479
Speaker 2: Rene Russo? Oh she has red hair?

684
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, red to brown. It's auburn, burgundy, burgundy.

685
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 4: She's such a good actress and she deserves more all

686
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 4: the time. And it's ridiculous that she isn't like the legendary.

687
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:17,760
Speaker 1: Actually so right, so good in it that he sings

688
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 1: all these inappropriate flirty things and she just brushes it

689
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 1: off and makes it seem like he's not saying terrible

690
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: things because she's still in control.

691
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 2: And that was your woman in the nineties, right.

692
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's it's funny what movies you watch and

693
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 1: you're like, wow, this part doesn't hold up at all,

694
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 1: And it's usually the way a woman's being treated in

695
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 1: a script, like some coped up group of dudes wrote

696
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:48,479
Speaker 1: her to be that way.

697
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 4: A lot of divorces write in scripts in the nineties

698
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,360
Speaker 4: of a lot of people who are unsatisfied with their relationships.

699
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, you take it out on the page.

700
00:39:58,520 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

701
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, these women talking all the times like okay, sorry,

702
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 4: it's one of the things he do.

703
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, she just gets all soaked up in her work.

704
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: She couldn't find the right man. But it's okay with

705
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: Clint Eastwood. He was just giving a raw deal.

706
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 2: He's just gonna tap her on the ass a couple

707
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 2: of times.

708
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: May I think there are yeah, there are some even

709
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 1: physical things where it's like, oh no, you can't do that.

710
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: But you can see that in a movie from twenty ten.

711
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 1: They say and knew the wrong things.

712
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 4: Why in God's name would this be a street where

713
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 4: the cross traffic doesn't stop?

714
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: Quick? Que I don't know that's a good.

715
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 2: Uh, I mean it seems dangerous.

716
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 1: She's good.

717
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:42,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

718
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. Why is it so wide? It's only gonna make

719
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 1: people go faster.

720
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,479
Speaker 2: Also, why is everyone walking their dog right now?

721
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

722
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: Every single person?

723
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 1: Don't they know we're in Coyote City? Yeah?

724
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 2: Oh god, damn it.

725
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 1: Well what what happened the one protected intersection? It's the

726
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 1: one you turned on?

727
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 4: Well, I guess dude, Okay, this should be okay. There's

728
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 4: if there's a stop light down here. They just love

729
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 4: to make your turn left when there's no stop light.

730
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 1: It's weird. When I one time I went to that

731
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 1: house and loaded a tiny motorcycle out of the garage

732
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,799
Speaker 1: and into a truck. I can't remember who lived there

733
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,839
Speaker 1: or who I was with. Oh isn't that funny? How

734
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 1: life is?

735
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 2: Are you gonna tell the story on Timmel tonight?

736
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,800
Speaker 1: Yes? Yeah, they told me and just riff my favorite stories.

737
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 1: I thought it open with that, okay, and then you know,

738
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,240
Speaker 1: close out with my new witch joke, one.

739
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 4: Witch joke with all the alts. Just read those alts

740
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 4: off a piece of paper.

741
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I think this, luckily is a scripted thing

742
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 1: and it'll be quick. But who knows. What if they're like,

743
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: we had a very involved, complicated James A doming And

744
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: character and he can't do it. Then I would just

745
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 1: faint like I can't I can't do I can't do

746
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:12,319
Speaker 1: what he does.

747
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 4: But your friend Andy knows what you can do, right.

748
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 4: I mean as someone who's like.

749
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 2: Oh, look at this Christmas talas. Yes, snoopy on a motorcycle.

750
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 1: I love it. That's the headlight lights up. That's funny.

751
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 1: I get. I still get excited for Christmas decorations.

752
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 4: Me too, because it's like it's some someone gives a

753
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 4: shit in this area.

754
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's that.

755
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

756
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 1: See that guy has embraced the coyotes by leashing a wolf,

757
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:50,800
Speaker 1: a timber wolf. I mean, how close that's not a husky.

758
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 4: Maybe it is, Maybe it is. It's weird though. Even

759
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 4: huskies seem weird in LA. Aren't they hot?

760
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 1: Yeah? You would think, right, shave that thing, yes, But

761
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 1: then sometimes when you shave them, they feel really embarrassed.

762
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.

763
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: Other ones are like, let me in front of that

764
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 1: mirror again. You don't know.

765
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 2: No, they're all different.

766
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it's oh there's a jaguar, it's clean eastern. Oh,

767
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 1: don't look at them. Yeah, this is one of those

768
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: areas where when I moved here, I'm like, oh, this

769
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 1: must be where all the movie stars live, or at

770
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 1: least actors that you see in things, And no, they

771
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: live in more modest homes. These are I don't know

772
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: what rich people do.

773
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 2: I mean, you know a lot of them just inherit wealth.

774
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 1: Right.

775
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 4: The guy just made me like almost pull over just

776
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 4: because probably because he was an angry Republican.

777
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he just took up the middle of the road.

778
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: I can tell how you voted just by how you

779
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: act on a uh surface street. Yeah, I can tell.

780
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:06,879
Speaker 2: And I'm not letting you off the hook even if.

781
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 1: I'm wrong, right, I mean correct.

782
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 4: What would be the ideal sketch for you to be

783
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 4: in on Kimmel tonight, dam dream a dream?

784
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: Well? I do like my idea about you know, Matt

785
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 1: gets slipping in some sexual lubricant at some sort of

786
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 1: a Epstein whatever. I didn't finish writing that one. Get good,

787
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: but yeah, it immediately makes me think because Kimmel does

788
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: so much political commentarian is monologue, sure that maybe it

789
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 1: would be That's immediately where my brain goes. But if

790
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 1: it was a a fumbling professor comes in, like, if

791
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 1: I get to be a pardon me like something like

792
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 1: that and then drop something and while wearing thick glasses, Yeah,

793
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: I guess I want to do a Jerry Lewis nineteen

794
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:13,840
Speaker 1: fifties type characters.

795
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:17,879
Speaker 4: Except you could do that. Yeah, definitely, Please don't do that. No,

796
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 4: don't be racist. But what about is there anything you

797
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 4: two talked about when you were bowling that would make

798
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 4: him think you would?

799
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 2: Hey, you could actually come in and do.

800
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 1: This ohing you talk all the time. No, I hadn't

801
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 1: seen those guys for a long time, and we didn't.

802
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: We talked before the show, but then danced to music

803
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 1: because it was that LCD sound System show, so it

804
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 1: was like there wasn't a lot of there is the

805
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: immediate catchup in the beginning.

806
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:49,800
Speaker 2: So this could be a dancing sketch.

807
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:55,280
Speaker 1: But it was so fun to be with two friends,

808
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 1: even though we weren't speaking. It was so fun to like,

809
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: the Palladium is so cool because it's a giant gymnasium

810
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 1: and everyone. It took me a while before I would

811
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 1: publicly dance, but by the end, everyone was dancing and

812
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:13,760
Speaker 1: it's so fun. You forget I mean, I could quote

813
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 1: any number of Kevin Bacon's lines from Footloose right now.

814
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:23,760
Speaker 1: But it's it's there's a reason dancing's in the Bible.

815
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 2: Because it's so beautiful. Yes, and of the Lord.

816
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 1: Yes.

817
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 4: Yes.

818
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: Even John Lithgow would have done a headspin at the

819
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 1: LCD sound System show. It was fun to see Andy

820
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 1: and Leon dancing.

821
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,720
Speaker 2: What if LCD sound Systems on Timmel tonight?

822
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 4: Oh man, they have a sketch where you were like

823
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 4: the dancing guy.

824
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 1: Oh you know what? My if it were that there

825
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,799
Speaker 1: was a that song where he talks about all the

826
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: bands that used to play at CBGB's. We talked about

827
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 1: this already right where he's like mentions Yeazz and mentions

828
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: uh other bands.

829
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:03,400
Speaker 4: Uh.

830
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 1: If I was hired to do those mentions impressions of

831
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,240
Speaker 1: those singers, wouldn't that be fun?

832
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 2: Could you do? Almer?

833
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:17,399
Speaker 1: Uh? I could, but we get sued because it's so real.

834
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna let you.

835
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 2: Go, don't go, I'm kenny.

836
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: It was. That was more like al Similie if she

837
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 1: became a glass dolphin.

838
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 2: Sculptor, I'm go go to camel.

839
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 1: Well, when I was a kid, I'd listen to Yaz

840
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: and uh, I would imagine, like when I listened to

841
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: a lot of music, I imagine myself singing because I thought

842
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,520
Speaker 1: I didn't when you're a little kid, You're like, wait,

843
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 1: I can't be the singer imagined if it's a grown

844
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: lady singer. So now I have to imagine someone else singing.

845
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 1: But I liked it when I was the singer. Yeah,

846
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 1: but now I got to change my voice a little,

847
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:00,840
Speaker 1: and then I put do it anymore.

848
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 2: Oh okay.

849
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 1: But she has a very smoky, sultry and like when

850
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: I first heard, well a lot of bands, like there's

851
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: that rich, deep voice. And then when you're a little kid,

852
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 1: that's like, why can't pretend I'm a lady singer? You know,

853
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: kids are dumb.

854
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 2: Well, kids raised in a patriarchical society.

855
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: Choice, But I blamed my dad in the society I

856
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 1: surrounded him. I can sing like Alison Noyer if.

857
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:35,359
Speaker 2: You want to.

858
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 4: Is that her name alone. I've seen a couple of

859
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 4: clips of her on TikTok recently. I think she did

860
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,879
Speaker 4: an interview somewhere. I think she did a festival where

861
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 4: people went crazy because she was there, and it made

862
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 4: me so happy, so happy.

863
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 2: She's the best.

864
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 1: Actually, maybe that was one of the albums my sister

865
00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 1: gave me upstairs at Eric's. Oh hell yes, and I

866
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 1: I think it had to grow on me over years

867
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 1: and years. I didn't like it until I was in

868
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 1: my twenties.

869
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a certain it's a certain energy.

870
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:13,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like a Dancy type singing.

871
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 2: Can you me right love that kind of stuff?

872
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 1: Right?

873
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 2: Sorry, Jim, I'm sorry.

874
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that okay. I thought for a

875
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:29,399
Speaker 1: second that was I'm not remembering a lot of band

876
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: names right now. I'm a bit friends, and you don't

877
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 1: have It's right. I'd be terrible if this was a

878
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:37,320
Speaker 1: podcast about music.

879
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 2: I mean, I'd be bored.

880
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 1: If a podcast to Thank God, it's just roast. Take

881
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: a left delivery boy.

882
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 4: Go to hell, you dumb Lime scooter rental salesman.

883
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 1: I bet that that band is filmed with charged up limescooters.

884
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 1: It's a good side business.

885
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 2: I bet people make nice money.

886
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: I and I'm not kidding. I had a neighbor in

887
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: Venice that apparently they only give you. They govern the

888
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 1: amount of chargers you can get, and with one charging

889
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:18,439
Speaker 1: unit you can charge up to twenty scooters a night.

890
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:23,760
Speaker 1: This guy that lived near me, had his entire family

891
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:29,720
Speaker 1: sign up to be Lime Scooter recharging people so he could,

892
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 1: and then he rented for a long time, rented a

893
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 1: giant like U haul type enterprise, rent a van and

894
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 1: would fill it with hundreds of these things when they

895
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: first started dropping them off in Venice and people are like,

896
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: what are these things? And just threw them in the

897
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 1: river or in the the canals, and it was like

898
00:50:56,120 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: five bucks a recharge, I think, And he earned enough

899
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 1: to buy himself a van, just like the money is renting.

900
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 1: Continued to do it and started a moving business and

901
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 1: uh ended up buying the house he was renting with

902
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,279
Speaker 1: the money he was earning. The story, I mean, he

903
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 1: was working his ass off, and you'd think there'd be

904
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 1: other get quick rich, get quick rich. What is wrong

905
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 1: with my brain? I haven't even started memorizing my lines.

906
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 1: Here's what's going to happen is we'll be done recording

907
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:44,360
Speaker 1: and he'll say false alarm, thanks for I love you, buddy.

908
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 1: That's the that I mean, not to sound pessimistic, Let's

909
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 1: just let that guy go. He's got he's got the

910
00:51:54,200 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: Ghostbusters Spirit catcher that looks exactly like the Ghostbusters Spirit Catcher.

911
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 1: Did I call it?

912
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 4: I mean spirit Catcher is kind of a fun uh.

913
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 1: A proton, Yes, I mean it's it's the ghost Catcher.

914
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 2: Ghosts.

915
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: I would not be surprised if that wasn't a prop

916
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: from the movie.

917
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really looked realistic.

918
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, but then he opened his trunk and there were

919
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:34,360
Speaker 4: so many uh, plastic bottles, empty plastic bottles.

920
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 1: Those were ghosts and bottles, much like, uh, you know

921
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 1: what else are you going to keep them in contained? True? Yeah,

922
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 1: you just fired them in there and cap it and throw.

923
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 2: Them in your trunk.

924
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 4: Me like, I'm gonna I'm gonna bring these to the

925
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 4: ghost recycling center soon.

926
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 1: God, the thirty five pending lives and need to be relived.

927
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 2: They have to get sent back up.

928
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 1: Wait, I think we just pitched a movie.

929
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:08,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's Ghostbusters five. Yes, and it's more spiritual kind

930
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 4: of a little Jesus.

931
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Yeah, there's a lot of mention in the Lord.

932
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: Actually Jesus comes back and actually accidentally gets hit my

933
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:22,320
Speaker 1: New York City bus and they have to there's a

934
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: whole bunch.

935
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 2: Of Jesus gets hit by a bus.

936
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:31,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm back, everybody, time to get judged. Hong he's

937
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 1: on life support.

938
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:35,399
Speaker 2: And then he's like, I'm actually wondering how I got here.

939
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're like, oh, maybe we should pray to.

940
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,240
Speaker 2: Not me. I'm off the clock.

941
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 1: That's his last words. And then and then the Ghostbusters

942
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 1: for it coming soon? Or is it seven? I haven't

943
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: kept track.

944
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 2: There's been plenty lately.

945
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 1: There's a I started watching the most recent and I

946
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 1: stopped washing watching out of respect for past ghostbusters have passed.

947
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 2: Can you read truck for me?

948
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 1: Free estimates?

949
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 2: The name says it all, and then what's the name?

950
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:19,319
Speaker 1: Ww colm? Oh, this business is over?

951
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:23,839
Speaker 4: Oh no, you know why because those estimates are free. Yeah,

952
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,400
Speaker 4: don't fucking give people free estimates. You don't owe anybody anything.

953
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:29,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not even gonna be able to pay off

954
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 1: the stickers on your.

955
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,280
Speaker 2: Truck the names.

956
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:39,440
Speaker 1: I don't do this for money. Go to freesthmus dot

957
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 1: com where we're taking a bath over here.

958
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 4: The business is not doing well as free estimates dot com.

959
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,360
Speaker 1: Did you see that other guy that was like on

960
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 1: his way tour from work and he was just unloading

961
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:57,280
Speaker 1: his trunk because his car was smashed into a pole. No,

962
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:03,440
Speaker 1: oh man, goddamn, he did freehousepanning dot com.

963
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 2: The name says it all.

964
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: It's wearing all white. Oh should we help them? That'd

965
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:14,359
Speaker 1: be a very special episode. Maybe next episode we can

966
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 1: pull over and help someone. Because we are recording and

967
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:17,839
Speaker 1: that's it.

968
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:18,920
Speaker 2: I can't get involved.

969
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 1: It's my favorite Instagram video where they're like, hey, are

970
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:25,799
Speaker 1: you having trouble in life? Here's one thousand dollars. I

971
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 1: love you and I'm always like on the fence, like,

972
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 1: and all the comments are like, they wouldn't do that

973
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:35,320
Speaker 1: if there wasn't a camera. Yeah, so what they're really

974
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:35,799
Speaker 1: doing it?

975
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 2: They are doing it?

976
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

977
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,200
Speaker 4: Have you seen the ones where they go to home

978
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 4: depot where people are waiting to work outside, and then

979
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 4: they're like they they get them all in the truck, like, yeah,

980
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 4: are you ready for a job?

981
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 2: Have you ever been to Disneyland? And then they bring.

982
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:51,840
Speaker 1: Ill Yeah, I love it they yeah, yeah, and they

983
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 1: are having Yeah. They turned the little kids on the

984
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 1: roller coaster.

985
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:57,759
Speaker 2: Most of them have never been.

986
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 4: It's the And then they get money yeah, and they're

987
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:01,719
Speaker 4: just like, this has been the best day.

988
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 2: It's so precious.

989
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 1: I a long time ago in a panic in a meeting,

990
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 1: a general meeting where I pitched the ideas that I liked,

991
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 1: and they were like, do you have anything else? And

992
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 1: I had seen I had just moved here and was

993
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:23,959
Speaker 1: kind of new to the world of like there being

994
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 1: a lot of unhoused people and clearly people in need

995
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 1: of mental health care. And I was like, what if

996
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 1: it's a show where we help people that are out

997
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 1: in the streets get medicated and get their lives together,

998
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 1: Like we help them take the steps and it's like

999
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:46,760
Speaker 1: an episodic where you do it for a different person.

1000
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:50,000
Speaker 1: And they were like, yeah, but then you'd have to

1001
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 1: follow up and then leave that person hanging. And I'm like, oh,

1002
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 1: that's a good point. I guess. Yeah, you don't want

1003
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,280
Speaker 1: to get someone started on medication and be like Okay,

1004
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 1: good luck later. But I'm seeing that it is the

1005
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 1: most popular thing, yeah, twenty years later on Instagram.

1006
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 5: I mean, because people have realized we're going to have

1007
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 5: to do this for each other because no one will

1008
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:15,160
Speaker 5: fucking come and give anybody the kind of mental health

1009
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 5: services that they should actually have.

1010
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 1: Right Yeah, Yeah, Luckily I just got callous to it.

1011
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 4: Also, I love were like at Comedy Central pitching let's

1012
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:27,920
Speaker 4: help the homeland.

1013
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was comedy, so I really I can't.

1014
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: I think I got confused because it just said viacom

1015
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 1: on the wall. I'm like, that's all types of media.

1016
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 1: What about I'm oprah, I help people. Where are the jokes? Oh,

1017
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 1: there's no jokes at all.

1018
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 2: And I worry about those jokes. It won't be funny.

1019
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:51,440
Speaker 1: And don't mind that I'm crying right now right of

1020
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:55,400
Speaker 1: this is a problem, like as like this, that person

1021
00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 1: in that tent is having a difficult time right now. Yeah,

1022
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: and what if we were like, hey, what do you need,

1023
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 1: Let's go to a doctor. I don't.

1024
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 4: I think it doesn't work like that because I think

1025
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 4: that kind of it's like sometimes those people are like

1026
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 4: what I need is for you to get the fuck

1027
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:14,320
Speaker 4: away from me.

1028
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 2: Right.

1029
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 4: It's like all right, So that's the we don't have

1030
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 4: the solution all the time.

1031
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 2: And what it is is.

1032
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 4: There needs to be fucking services so people can go

1033
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 4: get what they need, as opposed to like, hey, why

1034
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:28,960
Speaker 4: is your complex?

1035
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:30,840
Speaker 2: I'll be the one that does a thing.

1036
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 1: Well. Those services got ended in nineteen eighty one as

1037
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 1: retaliation against John Hinckley for not going to prison. That's

1038
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 1: why I think Regan shut him all down. Think so yep,

1039
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 1: he was mad because he wanted him to go to jail,

1040
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,720
Speaker 1: and he went to psychiatric hospital and then that same year,

1041
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:48,520
Speaker 1: in nineteen eighty one, he shut him all down.

1042
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,000
Speaker 2: And incredible.

1043
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 4: Oh I know about that because my mom was a

1044
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 4: psychiatric nurse and she fucking talked about it NonStop, and

1045
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 4: she predicted the state at the worlds and now where

1046
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 4: it's like, where will these people go? They need people,

1047
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 4: well to give them care, they need people to help

1048
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 4: them take their pills. This is a sect of society

1049
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 4: that we've all already agreed we were going to help,

1050
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 4: and we're just gonna stop helping them.

1051
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I could wait until, like we I can

1052
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 1: just hang out where I live and wait for the

1053
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 1: many people that come up to me and actually ask

1054
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: me for help yeah and say patch yes, Like oh really,

1055
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 1: I believe it was speaking of needing help. Right, You

1056
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:28,880
Speaker 1: just got roasted Blaine.

1057
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 2: Fuck you, Blaine.

1058
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:35,439
Speaker 1: So I got inspired by that Andy sketch. I say

1059
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 1: Andy sketched because his last name has also escaped me.

1060
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 1: Is there low oxygen in your car?

1061
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 2: Let's do this.

1062
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:51,760
Speaker 4: Maybe there's we've all recirculated too much whatever that that chemical, right,

1063
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 4: two CO three.

1064
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:59,919
Speaker 2: There it is in hails deeply R two D two.

1065
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 1: Oh my, did you like that impression?

1066
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:05,320
Speaker 2: It was pretty good?

1067
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 1: Save it.

1068
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 2: Put it in your little bindle for tonight.

1069
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh my, get.

1070
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 2: Those elbows up.

1071
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:15,920
Speaker 1: Oh my, rusty elbows are too Uh.

1072
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 2: Oh, there's a big event happening.

1073
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:22,680
Speaker 1: Oh, this looks like a job for us. That's right.

1074
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 1: Help wherever they're sirens will get in the way. Kuh

1075
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: need any help with that gurney?

1076
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 4: Oh those are ambulances at the Oh.

1077
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 1: Oh, we would have gotten away with it if you

1078
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 1: didn't tell everyone. Maybe I should go offer my help.

1079
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:51,560
Speaker 1: All right, let's ride this and then call viacom. Fine,

1080
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 1: you've been listening to Do you need a ride? D

1081
01:00:54,440 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 1: y n A R. This has been an exactly right production.

1082
01:01:06,560 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 2: Our senior producer is Analise Nelson.

1083
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 1: Mixed by Edson Choy.

1084
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 4: Our talent booker is Patrick Kotner.

1085
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 1: Theme song by Karen Kilgarret.

1086
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:17,000
Speaker 2: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

1087
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 4: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar

1088
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 4: podcast That's d y nar Podcast.

1089
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:27,480
Speaker 1: For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.

1090
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:29,760
Speaker 2: Thank you, Oh you're welcome.