WEBVTT - Let's Talk About SEX!

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the

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<v Speaker 1>Red Table pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the

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<v Speaker 1>Facebook watch show in audio, produced by Westbrook Audio and

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<v Speaker 1>I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review

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<v Speaker 1>on Apple podcasts. So gave me know this episode is

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<v Speaker 1>our sex episode. Oh lord Jesus, I think that people

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<v Speaker 1>still have a very difficult time talking about sex, especially

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<v Speaker 1>women talking about that on camera, like, and certainly you're

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<v Speaker 1>not gonna have Willow on this show? Yes, I am my.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the whole point. I did not want Willow to

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<v Speaker 1>have shame of any kind. She needs to be at

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<v Speaker 1>that table to hear it all. Good, Lord, have mercy.

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<v Speaker 1>You're trying to kill me here. You know, when you

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<v Speaker 1>can talk to your mother, who's been through a whole

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<v Speaker 1>lot in regards to sex. I wouldn't say I'm acconnas or,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm forty seven. So enough said. So you're good.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to prey on it. God help us all.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's rule and c and let's cur back. Please, nicky, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>we're at the table, and today we're at the Red

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<v Speaker 1>Table to talk about sex always, so tapn right, People like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh do you think that's appropriate for will I'm like, hell, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's appropriate. Is it life? Yeah? Is it life? Then? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I have to sit up here and tell her how

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<v Speaker 1>she has to be careful in these streets because of

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<v Speaker 1>all the harms that may come to her because she's

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<v Speaker 1>I'm damn sure not leaving out the good stuff. And

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like a lot of people make that mistake

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<v Speaker 1>of only telling their girls it's scary out there, absolutely

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<v Speaker 1>and that you better be Sack follows you throughout your

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<v Speaker 1>entire life. I want to just take a minute to

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<v Speaker 1>just explain to everybody that to Lana is one of

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<v Speaker 1>Willows very actually my best friend. Do you guys talk

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<v Speaker 1>openly about sex? Willow? Do we get a little too

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<v Speaker 1>open sometime? A little questions text each other? Like you

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<v Speaker 1>know what hairstyles for your vagina? Do you enjoy that?

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<v Speaker 1>That was the latest one vagina hairstyle? You can get

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<v Speaker 1>creative with vagina hairstylesh my goodness, yeah me, Did you

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<v Speaker 1>talk about like with your friends? No, I'm trying to

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<v Speaker 1>think I don't think I talked to my friends openly

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<v Speaker 1>about sex like that. Why do you think that is?

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<v Speaker 1>We just didn't have all the information, you guys have Like,

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<v Speaker 1>I know that a lot of young boys and young

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<v Speaker 1>girls are learning about sex to pornography online on social media? Right,

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<v Speaker 1>was that not your introduction to sex? My introduction to

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<v Speaker 1>sex was obviously walking in on you and Daddy. That

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<v Speaker 1>was the first introduction. When the hell did you walk

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<v Speaker 1>in all else? It was in Utah that one. No,

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<v Speaker 1>not Utah Aspen. I think it was an Aspen. I

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<v Speaker 1>was going downstairs to get some juice and I saw

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<v Speaker 1>for a little moment and I ran away. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, this is so crazy what I just see.

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<v Speaker 1>And then remember it wasn't like I was seeing everything.

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<v Speaker 1>It was the room. It was dark, you know what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying. It was it was stilhouetted. That was your introduction.

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<v Speaker 1>So what was your feeling about that? Oh? Like, I

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<v Speaker 1>just overstepped the boundary something I wasn't supposed to be there.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like if I walked in on you meditating

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<v Speaker 1>when mommy's meditating, don't get in her business, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying. I wish Gammy knew that I meditate

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<v Speaker 1>to Would you guys feel uncomfortab were talking to your

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<v Speaker 1>father's about sex? Whenever I talked to doubt about it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's always an intellectual debate. It's always like about like, okay, So,

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<v Speaker 1>speaking of the degradation of females in the past, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>how do you believe that that trickles into your experience?

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<v Speaker 1>And it's all and it's it's very it's very serious,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's not emotional. It's a very intellectual perspective. And

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like the stuff of life is meant to

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<v Speaker 1>be lived, not analyzed. You know. I felt like my

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<v Speaker 1>dad wasn't okay with yeah, me having a sexuality. Most

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<v Speaker 1>most fathers are not. It's definitely easier to talk with

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<v Speaker 1>like the same sex parents. Yeah. So do you think

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<v Speaker 1>we'll had a conversation with Jaden about sex? I'm almost

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<v Speaker 1>sure that that he did. He probably said, get it, boys,

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<v Speaker 1>go out there and get you. Did you talk to

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<v Speaker 1>Jaden and Trey abou sex? I did? How about I

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<v Speaker 1>knew when they both lost their virginity. I sure did.

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<v Speaker 1>My intuition. I knew the night the night Jaden lost

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<v Speaker 1>his virginity and I had a moment with Trey in

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<v Speaker 1>the kitchen where I looked at him and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>you've had sex, And he ran into the bathroom he did. Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like, fine, yes, I've had sex. Why did

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<v Speaker 1>he runs about he was embarrassed? Oh yeahs like you

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<v Speaker 1>have to be embarrassed, but he was so embarrassed. Just

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<v Speaker 1>the energy of them that made you know that they

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<v Speaker 1>had sex. Yeah, it was it was like a new

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<v Speaker 1>Their innocence was gone, damn gone. I can always tell

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<v Speaker 1>with some of your friends too, I'm like, oh, something happened, ye,

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<v Speaker 1>but I can always tell, like you can just see

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<v Speaker 1>the maturity. I remember my first sexual experience. It was amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't say amazing, like oh you know, but like

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<v Speaker 1>I remember getting me saying to me, oh, I wish

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<v Speaker 1>I could be there to hold your hand, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>going to be terrible. Yeah. I remember her telling me

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<v Speaker 1>that because hers was terrible experience was very painful and yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and mine wasn't. It actually was like it was yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it was like okay, yeah, right, you know. But I

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<v Speaker 1>also came into it differently. My grandmother taught me about

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<v Speaker 1>self pleasuring because she wanted me to know that that

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<v Speaker 1>pleasure was from me. She didn't want me to fall

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<v Speaker 1>into the hands of a man and if he gave

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<v Speaker 1>me pleasure to think that that was him, and she

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<v Speaker 1>taught me at nine. At nine, I had none of that.

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<v Speaker 1>I had none of what Jada had. You know, her

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<v Speaker 1>teaching to me was boys are dirty. Don't let them

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<v Speaker 1>put their tongues in your mouth, and surely not their penises. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So everything was from a very negative and so none

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<v Speaker 1>of you to scare me to and so you were

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<v Speaker 1>probably afraid. Yeah, we as women have been trained that

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<v Speaker 1>women aren't supposed to enjoy sex. Sex is not for women,

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<v Speaker 1>sexes for men. Pleasure is for men, And honestly, I

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<v Speaker 1>think that's why so many women I know have never

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<v Speaker 1>had orgasms. Really, Yes, that's a sad day. Yeah, I've

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<v Speaker 1>struggled in my own sexuality, even in having the information

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<v Speaker 1>that I had at an early age and yet still

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<v Speaker 1>having to constantly educate myself and not allow things to

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<v Speaker 1>come into So if your mom struggled, then you know

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<v Speaker 1>I struggled. The demons in the back of my mind

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<v Speaker 1>are telling me, no, you shouldn't be doing that, and no,

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<v Speaker 1>good girls don't enjoy a sex. Do you do you

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<v Speaker 1>feel like even do you feel like you have the

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<v Speaker 1>freedom now? And where did that come from? I just

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<v Speaker 1>think it just came over time, because over time you realize, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I was there a moment? Was there was their experience?

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<v Speaker 1>Was there a man that? You know what I'm saying,

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<v Speaker 1>because usually there's that aha moment of like the whole

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<v Speaker 1>world opens up whole when you have your first, like

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<v Speaker 1>real good, experienced orgasm. I don't know if I remember that,

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<v Speaker 1>but I just do know that even a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>years ago, having a conversation with my girlfriends talking about

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<v Speaker 1>sex toys and all that, and I didn't have any

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<v Speaker 1>experience with with sex toys right, And they were like, huh,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't know what you're missing. I was like, really,

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<v Speaker 1>he suggested that I go to counseling for that, go

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<v Speaker 1>to counseling for sex. That fills me with so much

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<v Speaker 1>anger because men just experience the same thing. I've had

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of experience with sex toys lots. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>miss that at all. I feel like it brings the

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<v Speaker 1>third party into the situation that's not like human Right, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>what about by yourself? Because I don't think I used

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<v Speaker 1>toys with a partner, but those toys a lot, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean personally, I haven't. Are you still one? Yeah? When

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<v Speaker 1>did that start? I need to go get no, But

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<v Speaker 1>I think by your age, I gave myself multiples first,

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<v Speaker 1>multiple orgasms. Yeah, I didn't. I was really into it

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<v Speaker 1>at one point, just because I was in an exploration

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<v Speaker 1>state and I was abstaining from men. Yeah, and I

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<v Speaker 1>actually think I went through kind of an addiction to

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<v Speaker 1>with it. Yeah, after people. Yeah, and then one day

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<v Speaker 1>I was just like enough, like you're having five orgasm today? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you gotta because you can create so much pleasure. You

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<v Speaker 1>just constantly want. It's just like you know and so

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<v Speaker 1>um yeah yeah with me, and we're like like damn,

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<v Speaker 1>like that's some other that's the next level right there.

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<v Speaker 1>I did find something interesting about your generation in regards

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<v Speaker 1>to virginity and how one loses virginity, Like I I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure for your generation too, that you lose your virginity

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<v Speaker 1>with somebody you've been seeing, right, somebody that you have

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<v Speaker 1>feelings with, just right, Like I've heard certain people say, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm older now and I just need to lose my virginity.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm just gonna this guy that I hang out

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<v Speaker 1>with sometimes and I'm like, really like, just wait till

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<v Speaker 1>you find that person that you care about and that

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<v Speaker 1>person is like, no, guys really talking to me or

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<v Speaker 1>asking me, guys are not brave, that's what do you

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<v Speaker 1>think in this generation? They're not brave? Doesn't have something

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<v Speaker 1>to do with technology and texting and really that people

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<v Speaker 1>don't really know how to deal with dating, like I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it's that like I'm letting you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>in this day and age, the slide into the d

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<v Speaker 1>M is like how you get into your relations exactly right,

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<v Speaker 1>most kids in this day we didn't have that back

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<v Speaker 1>in the day. No, you just had a joker come

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<v Speaker 1>up to you and be like, what's so show it in?

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<v Speaker 1>That's honestly, dude. Nowadays see a beautiful girl, let me

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<v Speaker 1>text her? Am I gonna let me text? Right? Like,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lack of social skills because the technology is

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<v Speaker 1>this how you got into your relationship? Did he slide

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<v Speaker 1>into the DM? Don't judge me, it was m understand.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me guys a question. If you have a young

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<v Speaker 1>girl now that a sleeping has multiple partners, is she

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<v Speaker 1>still considered No, she is considered a regular person. She

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<v Speaker 1>is a beautiful girl. You just have to keep yourself healthy,

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<v Speaker 1>health and respect. Yourself respect can be more important than

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<v Speaker 1>than anything. Loves woman. If you are in a relationship

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<v Speaker 1>with someone who doesn't respect you, and that is the

0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:37.120
<v Speaker 1>most unhealthy relationship and you should get out immediately. Let

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<v Speaker 1>me ask you, guys a question, because your generation is

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<v Speaker 1>known as the hook up generation. How do you guys

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<v Speaker 1>feel about monogamy? That feeling of your my one and

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<v Speaker 1>my only, there's no one else for me, that would

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<v Speaker 1>not work. It's a it's a it's a tricky one.

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<v Speaker 1>And I tell you, I think about it a lot

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<v Speaker 1>with married women who are in this sexual monotony of

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<v Speaker 1>feeling like this obligation towards having to have sex because

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<v Speaker 1>they're in a monogamous relationship, or sometimes you just don't

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<v Speaker 1>feel you just don't feel like it, but you feel

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<v Speaker 1>obligated because you know they do exactly never feel obligated.

0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Hate when I hear that in all of these like

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<v Speaker 1>therapists try to be like, you know, make sure you

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<v Speaker 1>you better go in there and sleep with your man,

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<v Speaker 1>because if you're not having sex with somebody else's it's

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<v Speaker 1>because women fear losing their men if sex isn't good,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you're not having enough sex. It seems like

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<v Speaker 1>such an unrealistic expectation to put on another human being

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's really just about everybody having the freedom

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<v Speaker 1>to find their way and if what works for you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so happy for you in regards to what in

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<v Speaker 1>regard to your sexuality, because you've always been pretty free,

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<v Speaker 1>I think, and just I just didn't have that, but

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<v Speaker 1>you grow like years, I've been able to work through it,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm telling you it has been a challenge, a

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<v Speaker 1>real challenge, to the point at one point in one

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<v Speaker 1>of my marriages, he suggested that I go to counseling

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<v Speaker 1>for that. Wow. Wow, and one of your marriages, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm four times go to counseling for sex. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>That fills me with so much anger that I can't even.

0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:40.800
<v Speaker 1>I can't even because I'm just experience the same thing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not true. Do you know how many men I

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<v Speaker 1>know they've been raped as young boys that I was

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<v Speaker 1>as protective of Jaden as I was. He was not

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<v Speaker 1>listen to me, he was not allowed to spend the

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<v Speaker 1>night at anyone's house because I never underestimated that a

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<v Speaker 1>boy child could be violated in the same way as

0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.720
<v Speaker 1>a girl child. But you did do a lot of

0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.240
<v Speaker 1>things differently. I did do a lot of things differently,

0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:17.680
<v Speaker 1>and let me tell you something else. You got to

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<v Speaker 1>do a lot of things in this house. Did not

0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:50.840
<v Speaker 1>faceis book my favorite? Yes? My Facebook family. So Willow,

0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:53.600
<v Speaker 1>what part of the body do you find the sexiest?

0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.560
<v Speaker 1>I'd have to say in the brain? Yea, the brain

0:15:58.000 --> 0:15:59.840
<v Speaker 1>for me, that's what I see in men as well.

0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.120
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you what I'm attracted to this part right

0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:07.000
<v Speaker 1>here on a man baby, Oh, the next to the shoulder.

0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:12.200
<v Speaker 1>This conversation, I'm starting to realize how much I don't

0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:17.240
<v Speaker 1>think about maybe a strong back. Your father would be

0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:21.880
<v Speaker 1>so happy to hear that you're looking for somebody like him.

0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:26.160
<v Speaker 1>Do you believe in love it first sight? Yes? I do.

0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:31.040
<v Speaker 1>I believe I can look in somebody's eyes and love them. Wow,

0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:35.320
<v Speaker 1>it's happening before. It's great sex necessary for a great relationship?

0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:39.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't think so. I think that. Well let me

0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:42.760
<v Speaker 1>It depends on what kind of person you are. Yeah,

0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.800
<v Speaker 1>I'll say that great sex is not necessary for a

0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:50.480
<v Speaker 1>great relationship or me, especially after being in a union

0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:52.680
<v Speaker 1>for as long as I have been. You start to

0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:58.480
<v Speaker 1>really focus, Yeah, it gets deep. Is there anything sexy

0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:01.440
<v Speaker 1>you've wanted to try but were embarrassed to ask your

0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:07.720
<v Speaker 1>partner about? Give us the tea, Give us the tea.

0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:10.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I want to talk about this

0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:12.840
<v Speaker 1>on air and there you haven't both gonna leave that

0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:16.399
<v Speaker 1>right there. That is our Red Table Talk for today

0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:20.760
<v Speaker 1>about sex. Thank you so much for joining us here

0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:27.639
<v Speaker 1>on Facebook. Oh good night, don't wear out. How do

0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.280
<v Speaker 1>you define jim to fluidity? I don't know if I

0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:33.520
<v Speaker 1>have a straight answer to that. We had to talk

0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:37.000
<v Speaker 1>with Dad, Magic Johnson and icon't everything that I came

0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:38.280
<v Speaker 1>to the top of the Dad, he just let it

0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:41.080
<v Speaker 1>out and then we both just kind of started crying.

0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:47.040
<v Speaker 1>We would love to hear from you. Is it important

0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:49.600
<v Speaker 1>to talk to your children about sex? Is important to

0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:53.480
<v Speaker 1>talk to your daughter? Give your comments below. I didn't

0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:54.879
<v Speaker 1>think this was gonna be so hard for me. It

0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:59.240
<v Speaker 1>really ignites something in you, like damn. The good thing

0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:01.280
<v Speaker 1>about it is that you don't have to figure it

0:18:01.359 --> 0:18:07.600
<v Speaker 1>all out right now, you know what I mean? Yes,

0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:13.200
<v Speaker 1>we're cute. Okay, some guys for the past. To join

0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.280
<v Speaker 1>the Red Table Talk family and become a part of

0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:19.120
<v Speaker 1>the conversation. Follow us at facebook dot com slash red

0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.960
<v Speaker 1>table Talk. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red

0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:26.359
<v Speaker 1>Table Talk podcast produced by Facebook Watch Westbrook audio and

0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:27.320
<v Speaker 1>I Heart Radio