Speaker 1: Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the
Speaker 1: Red Table pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the
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Speaker 1: on Apple podcasts. So gave me know this episode is
Speaker 1: our sex episode. Oh lord Jesus, I think that people
Speaker 1: still have a very difficult time talking about sex, especially
Speaker 1: women talking about that on camera, like, and certainly you're
Speaker 1: not gonna have Willow on this show? Yes, I am my.
Speaker 1: That's the whole point. I did not want Willow to
Speaker 1: have shame of any kind. She needs to be at
Speaker 1: that table to hear it all. Good, Lord, have mercy.
Speaker 1: You're trying to kill me here. You know, when you
Speaker 1: can talk to your mother, who's been through a whole
Speaker 1: lot in regards to sex. I wouldn't say I'm acconnas or,
Speaker 1: but I'm forty seven. So enough said. So you're good.
Speaker 1: I'm going to prey on it. God help us all.
Speaker 1: Let's rule and c and let's cur back. Please, nicky, guys,
Speaker 1: we're at the table, and today we're at the Red
Speaker 1: Table to talk about sex always, so tapn right, People like,
Speaker 1: oh do you think that's appropriate for will I'm like, hell, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's appropriate. Is it life? Yeah? Is it life? Then? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I have to sit up here and tell her how
Speaker 1: she has to be careful in these streets because of
Speaker 1: all the harms that may come to her because she's
Speaker 1: I'm damn sure not leaving out the good stuff. And
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people make that mistake
Speaker 1: of only telling their girls it's scary out there, absolutely
Speaker 1: and that you better be Sack follows you throughout your
Speaker 1: entire life. I want to just take a minute to
Speaker 1: just explain to everybody that to Lana is one of
Speaker 1: Willows very actually my best friend. Do you guys talk
Speaker 1: openly about sex? Willow? Do we get a little too
Speaker 1: open sometime? A little questions text each other? Like you
Speaker 1: know what hairstyles for your vagina? Do you enjoy that?
Speaker 1: That was the latest one vagina hairstyle? You can get
Speaker 1: creative with vagina hairstylesh my goodness, yeah me, Did you
Speaker 1: talk about like with your friends? No, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: think I don't think I talked to my friends openly
Speaker 1: about sex like that. Why do you think that is?
Speaker 1: We just didn't have all the information, you guys have Like,
Speaker 1: I know that a lot of young boys and young
Speaker 1: girls are learning about sex to pornography online on social media? Right,
Speaker 1: was that not your introduction to sex? My introduction to
Speaker 1: sex was obviously walking in on you and Daddy. That
Speaker 1: was the first introduction. When the hell did you walk
Speaker 1: in all else? It was in Utah that one. No,
Speaker 1: not Utah Aspen. I think it was an Aspen. I
Speaker 1: was going downstairs to get some juice and I saw
Speaker 1: for a little moment and I ran away. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is so crazy what I just see.
Speaker 1: And then remember it wasn't like I was seeing everything.
Speaker 1: It was the room. It was dark, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It was it was stilhouetted. That was your introduction.
Speaker 1: So what was your feeling about that? Oh? Like, I
Speaker 1: just overstepped the boundary something I wasn't supposed to be there.
Speaker 1: It was like if I walked in on you meditating
Speaker 1: when mommy's meditating, don't get in her business, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I wish Gammy knew that I meditate
Speaker 1: to Would you guys feel uncomfortab were talking to your
Speaker 1: father's about sex? Whenever I talked to doubt about it.
Speaker 1: It's always an intellectual debate. It's always like about like, okay, So,
Speaker 1: speaking of the degradation of females in the past, you know,
Speaker 1: how do you believe that that trickles into your experience?
Speaker 1: And it's all and it's it's very it's very serious,
Speaker 1: but it's not emotional. It's a very intellectual perspective. And
Speaker 1: I feel like the stuff of life is meant to
Speaker 1: be lived, not analyzed. You know. I felt like my
Speaker 1: dad wasn't okay with yeah, me having a sexuality. Most
Speaker 1: most fathers are not. It's definitely easier to talk with
Speaker 1: like the same sex parents. Yeah. So do you think
Speaker 1: we'll had a conversation with Jaden about sex? I'm almost
Speaker 1: sure that that he did. He probably said, get it, boys,
Speaker 1: go out there and get you. Did you talk to
Speaker 1: Jaden and Trey abou sex? I did? How about I
Speaker 1: knew when they both lost their virginity. I sure did.
Speaker 1: My intuition. I knew the night the night Jaden lost
Speaker 1: his virginity and I had a moment with Trey in
Speaker 1: the kitchen where I looked at him and I was like,
Speaker 1: you've had sex, And he ran into the bathroom he did. Yes.
Speaker 1: It was like, fine, yes, I've had sex. Why did
Speaker 1: he runs about he was embarrassed? Oh yeahs like you
Speaker 1: have to be embarrassed, but he was so embarrassed. Just
Speaker 1: the energy of them that made you know that they
Speaker 1: had sex. Yeah, it was it was like a new
Speaker 1: Their innocence was gone, damn gone. I can always tell
Speaker 1: with some of your friends too, I'm like, oh, something happened, ye,
Speaker 1: but I can always tell, like you can just see
Speaker 1: the maturity. I remember my first sexual experience. It was amazing.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say amazing, like oh you know, but like
Speaker 1: I remember getting me saying to me, oh, I wish
Speaker 1: I could be there to hold your hand, and that's
Speaker 1: going to be terrible. Yeah. I remember her telling me
Speaker 1: that because hers was terrible experience was very painful and yeah,
Speaker 1: and mine wasn't. It actually was like it was yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like okay, yeah, right, you know. But I
Speaker 1: also came into it differently. My grandmother taught me about
Speaker 1: self pleasuring because she wanted me to know that that
Speaker 1: pleasure was from me. She didn't want me to fall
Speaker 1: into the hands of a man and if he gave
Speaker 1: me pleasure to think that that was him, and she
Speaker 1: taught me at nine. At nine, I had none of that.
Speaker 1: I had none of what Jada had. You know, her
Speaker 1: teaching to me was boys are dirty. Don't let them
Speaker 1: put their tongues in your mouth, and surely not their penises. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So everything was from a very negative and so none
Speaker 1: of you to scare me to and so you were
Speaker 1: probably afraid. Yeah, we as women have been trained that
Speaker 1: women aren't supposed to enjoy sex. Sex is not for women,
Speaker 1: sexes for men. Pleasure is for men, And honestly, I
Speaker 1: think that's why so many women I know have never
Speaker 1: had orgasms. Really, Yes, that's a sad day. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: struggled in my own sexuality, even in having the information
Speaker 1: that I had at an early age and yet still
Speaker 1: having to constantly educate myself and not allow things to
Speaker 1: come into So if your mom struggled, then you know
Speaker 1: I struggled. The demons in the back of my mind
Speaker 1: are telling me, no, you shouldn't be doing that, and no,
Speaker 1: good girls don't enjoy a sex. Do you do you
Speaker 1: feel like even do you feel like you have the
Speaker 1: freedom now? And where did that come from? I just
Speaker 1: think it just came over time, because over time you realize, hey,
Speaker 1: I was there a moment? Was there was their experience?
Speaker 1: Was there a man that? You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: because usually there's that aha moment of like the whole
Speaker 1: world opens up whole when you have your first, like
Speaker 1: real good, experienced orgasm. I don't know if I remember that,
Speaker 1: but I just do know that even a couple of
Speaker 1: years ago, having a conversation with my girlfriends talking about
Speaker 1: sex toys and all that, and I didn't have any
Speaker 1: experience with with sex toys right, And they were like, huh,
Speaker 1: you don't know what you're missing. I was like, really,
Speaker 1: he suggested that I go to counseling for that, go
Speaker 1: to counseling for sex. That fills me with so much
Speaker 1: anger because men just experience the same thing. I've had
Speaker 1: a lot of experience with sex toys lots. I don't
Speaker 1: miss that at all. I feel like it brings the
Speaker 1: third party into the situation that's not like human Right, Well,
Speaker 1: what about by yourself? Because I don't think I used
Speaker 1: toys with a partner, but those toys a lot, I
Speaker 1: mean personally, I haven't. Are you still one? Yeah? When
Speaker 1: did that start? I need to go get no, But
Speaker 1: I think by your age, I gave myself multiples first,
Speaker 1: multiple orgasms. Yeah, I didn't. I was really into it
Speaker 1: at one point, just because I was in an exploration
Speaker 1: state and I was abstaining from men. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: actually think I went through kind of an addiction to
Speaker 1: with it. Yeah, after people. Yeah, and then one day
Speaker 1: I was just like enough, like you're having five orgasm today? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta because you can create so much pleasure. You
Speaker 1: just constantly want. It's just like you know and so
Speaker 1: um yeah yeah with me, and we're like like damn,
Speaker 1: like that's some other that's the next level right there.
Speaker 1: I did find something interesting about your generation in regards
Speaker 1: to virginity and how one loses virginity, Like I I'm
Speaker 1: sure for your generation too, that you lose your virginity
Speaker 1: with somebody you've been seeing, right, somebody that you have
Speaker 1: feelings with, just right, Like I've heard certain people say, well,
Speaker 1: I'm older now and I just need to lose my virginity.
Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna this guy that I hang out
Speaker 1: with sometimes and I'm like, really like, just wait till
Speaker 1: you find that person that you care about and that
Speaker 1: person is like, no, guys really talking to me or
Speaker 1: asking me, guys are not brave, that's what do you
Speaker 1: think in this generation? They're not brave? Doesn't have something
Speaker 1: to do with technology and texting and really that people
Speaker 1: don't really know how to deal with dating, like I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean it's that like I'm letting you know, like
Speaker 1: in this day and age, the slide into the d
Speaker 1: M is like how you get into your relations exactly right,
Speaker 1: most kids in this day we didn't have that back
Speaker 1: in the day. No, you just had a joker come
Speaker 1: up to you and be like, what's so show it in?
Speaker 1: That's honestly, dude. Nowadays see a beautiful girl, let me
Speaker 1: text her? Am I gonna let me text? Right? Like,
Speaker 1: there's a lack of social skills because the technology is
Speaker 1: this how you got into your relationship? Did he slide
Speaker 1: into the DM? Don't judge me, it was m understand.
Speaker 1: Let me guys a question. If you have a young
Speaker 1: girl now that a sleeping has multiple partners, is she
Speaker 1: still considered No, she is considered a regular person. She
Speaker 1: is a beautiful girl. You just have to keep yourself healthy,
Speaker 1: health and respect. Yourself respect can be more important than
Speaker 1: than anything. Loves woman. If you are in a relationship
Speaker 1: with someone who doesn't respect you, and that is the
Speaker 1: most unhealthy relationship and you should get out immediately. Let
Speaker 1: me ask you, guys a question, because your generation is
Speaker 1: known as the hook up generation. How do you guys
Speaker 1: feel about monogamy? That feeling of your my one and
Speaker 1: my only, there's no one else for me, that would
Speaker 1: not work. It's a it's a it's a tricky one.
Speaker 1: And I tell you, I think about it a lot
Speaker 1: with married women who are in this sexual monotony of
Speaker 1: feeling like this obligation towards having to have sex because
Speaker 1: they're in a monogamous relationship, or sometimes you just don't
Speaker 1: feel you just don't feel like it, but you feel
Speaker 1: obligated because you know they do exactly never feel obligated.
Speaker 1: Hate when I hear that in all of these like
Speaker 1: therapists try to be like, you know, make sure you
Speaker 1: you better go in there and sleep with your man,
Speaker 1: because if you're not having sex with somebody else's it's
Speaker 1: because women fear losing their men if sex isn't good,
Speaker 1: and if you're not having enough sex. It seems like
Speaker 1: such an unrealistic expectation to put on another human being
Speaker 1: I think it's really just about everybody having the freedom
Speaker 1: to find their way and if what works for you.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you in regards to what in
Speaker 1: regard to your sexuality, because you've always been pretty free,
Speaker 1: I think, and just I just didn't have that, but
Speaker 1: you grow like years, I've been able to work through it,
Speaker 1: but I'm telling you it has been a challenge, a
Speaker 1: real challenge, to the point at one point in one
Speaker 1: of my marriages, he suggested that I go to counseling
Speaker 1: for that. Wow. Wow, and one of your marriages, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I'm four times go to counseling for sex. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That fills me with so much anger that I can't even.
Speaker 1: I can't even because I'm just experience the same thing.
Speaker 1: That's not true. Do you know how many men I
Speaker 1: know they've been raped as young boys that I was
Speaker 1: as protective of Jaden as I was. He was not
Speaker 1: listen to me, he was not allowed to spend the
Speaker 1: night at anyone's house because I never underestimated that a
Speaker 1: boy child could be violated in the same way as
Speaker 1: a girl child. But you did do a lot of
Speaker 1: things differently. I did do a lot of things differently,
Speaker 1: and let me tell you something else. You got to
Speaker 1: do a lot of things in this house. Did not
Speaker 1: faceis book my favorite? Yes? My Facebook family. So Willow,
Speaker 1: what part of the body do you find the sexiest?
Speaker 1: I'd have to say in the brain? Yea, the brain
Speaker 1: for me, that's what I see in men as well.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I'm attracted to this part right
Speaker 1: here on a man baby, Oh, the next to the shoulder.
Speaker 1: This conversation, I'm starting to realize how much I don't
Speaker 1: think about maybe a strong back. Your father would be
Speaker 1: so happy to hear that you're looking for somebody like him.
Speaker 1: Do you believe in love it first sight? Yes? I do.
Speaker 1: I believe I can look in somebody's eyes and love them. Wow,
Speaker 1: it's happening before. It's great sex necessary for a great relationship?
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think that. Well let me
Speaker 1: It depends on what kind of person you are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll say that great sex is not necessary for a
Speaker 1: great relationship or me, especially after being in a union
Speaker 1: for as long as I have been. You start to
Speaker 1: really focus, Yeah, it gets deep. Is there anything sexy
Speaker 1: you've wanted to try but were embarrassed to ask your
Speaker 1: partner about? Give us the tea, Give us the tea.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I want to talk about this
Speaker 1: on air and there you haven't both gonna leave that
Speaker 1: right there. That is our Red Table Talk for today
Speaker 1: about sex. Thank you so much for joining us here
Speaker 1: on Facebook. Oh good night, don't wear out. How do
Speaker 1: you define jim to fluidity? I don't know if I
Speaker 1: have a straight answer to that. We had to talk
Speaker 1: with Dad, Magic Johnson and icon't everything that I came
Speaker 1: to the top of the Dad, he just let it
Speaker 1: out and then we both just kind of started crying.
Speaker 1: We would love to hear from you. Is it important
Speaker 1: to talk to your children about sex? Is important to
Speaker 1: talk to your daughter? Give your comments below. I didn't
Speaker 1: think this was gonna be so hard for me. It
Speaker 1: really ignites something in you, like damn. The good thing
Speaker 1: about it is that you don't have to figure it
Speaker 1: all out right now, you know what I mean? Yes,
Speaker 1: we're cute. Okay, some guys for the past. To join
Speaker 1: the Red Table Talk family and become a part of
Speaker 1: the conversation. Follow us at facebook dot com slash red
Speaker 1: table Talk. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red
Speaker 1: Table Talk podcast produced by Facebook Watch Westbrook audio and
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