WEBVTT - Bonus: Listener Stories, Episode 5

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<v Speaker 1>Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>Danny Shapiro, and this is family Secrets, the secrets that

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<v Speaker 1>are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others,

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<v Speaker 1>and the secrets we keep from ourselves. As I tore

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<v Speaker 1>the nation from my book Inheritance, I've heard from so

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<v Speaker 1>many about your own family secrets and realize that what

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<v Speaker 1>we are creating for each other on this podcast is

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<v Speaker 1>a community, a community for those who are looking for

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<v Speaker 1>a safe and supportive space to unburden themselves. To that end,

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<v Speaker 1>we've created a number for listeners to call in to

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<v Speaker 1>record stories to share here in this space. This week,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to share a few of those stories from

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<v Speaker 1>our community. Thanks for listening. My family's secret is UM

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<v Speaker 1>something that actually ended up being the reason that I

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<v Speaker 1>was born. My grandfather had fallen in love with this

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<v Speaker 1>woman and they had conceived a child out of wedlock.

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<v Speaker 1>Her parents wouldn't let them get married, so they took

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<v Speaker 1>her away um to have the baby and put the

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<v Speaker 1>baby up for adoption. This was I think very early

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<v Speaker 1>sixties to late fifties, and uh they they didn't need

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<v Speaker 1>his signature or anything back then. So my grandfather has

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<v Speaker 1>a child my mom got pregnant with me very young.

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<v Speaker 1>Um also was not married. And uh, that's when my

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<v Speaker 1>grandpa told us his secret for the first time. My

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<v Speaker 1>grandmother didn't even know, and he took my mom out

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<v Speaker 1>and she was contemplating her options, and my grandfather said,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a child who has a big place for adoption.

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<v Speaker 1>It is the worst experience I've ever had to deal

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<v Speaker 1>with and live with. Please keep your baby, and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't help you it. That's really what happened to UM.

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<v Speaker 1>My grandfather is very much my father in a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of ways, especially in angry years before my dad became

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<v Speaker 1>a part of life. And Uh, I've been trying to

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<v Speaker 1>find my uncle. Uh, we know that the baby was

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<v Speaker 1>a boy, and we've all gone on the DNA websites

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<v Speaker 1>and I've just been waiting for a hit and hoping

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<v Speaker 1>for a hit someday. That's my family's secret. Hi, And

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<v Speaker 1>my family's secret starts with my grandfather on my mom's side.

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<v Speaker 1>He never knew his grandparents from his dad's side, so

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<v Speaker 1>his paternal grandparents. I took it upon me to do

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<v Speaker 1>the genealogy and try to find out who his family was.

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<v Speaker 1>Eventually we were able to find them out, But along

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<v Speaker 1>the way we found out that his dad had been

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<v Speaker 1>married previously and had a child from that first marriage.

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<v Speaker 1>When I went over to my grandparents house to share

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<v Speaker 1>this information, of all the ancestors we were able to find,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, his grandparents and beyond, and then also this

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<v Speaker 1>information about long lost sister that we thought he never

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<v Speaker 1>knew about. Um he just said, oh, I thought it

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<v Speaker 1>was a brother that I had, which my grandma and

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of looked at him in dis police since

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<v Speaker 1>he had never shared this information if anyone, and come

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<v Speaker 1>to find out, you know, he was an only child,

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<v Speaker 1>so he thought, and his parents and other family members

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<v Speaker 1>were of the mindset that children should be seen and

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<v Speaker 1>not heard, so he would just only overhear things but

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<v Speaker 1>could never ask questions, and if he did, he would

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<v Speaker 1>be told, you know, we'll talk about that when you're older,

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<v Speaker 1>which they never did. So now our project is trying

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<v Speaker 1>to find out more about the sister. We know that

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<v Speaker 1>she passed away in the mid nineties, and now we're

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<v Speaker 1>trying to find family relations on her side that we

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<v Speaker 1>can connect with and find out more about her and

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<v Speaker 1>what may have happened with that relationship, why the dad

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<v Speaker 1>never had contact with her again why they got divorced

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<v Speaker 1>and she was never a part of his life. Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>I am calling to UM leave a little bit of

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<v Speaker 1>that family secret story UM that has recently come to light.

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<v Speaker 1>UM and Tinnah had some light on some past events

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<v Speaker 1>that have happened in my life. I am almost thirty

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<v Speaker 1>years old, and when I was in sixth grade, I

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<v Speaker 1>remember my mom coming up and telling me, after my

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<v Speaker 1>parents had had some real difficulty and my dad had

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<v Speaker 1>moved out for a bit, that things were going to change.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course, assumed divorce, UM time goes on, nothing happens.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have the courage to ask about it. They

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<v Speaker 1>stayed together until in the junior in high school and

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<v Speaker 1>I finally asked her, were you guys going to get

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<v Speaker 1>a divorce? And she simply responds the yes. And when

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<v Speaker 1>I asked, why did you not, she said because of

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<v Speaker 1>you kids. I am the oldest sibling of a few

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<v Speaker 1>of us, UM. And fast forward to now, as an

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<v Speaker 1>almost thirty year old, my parents are having some more

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<v Speaker 1>marital difficulties and during this process, my dad decides to

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<v Speaker 1>send us a letter telling us about the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>he cheated on my mom. When UM, I was back

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<v Speaker 1>in sad sixth grade and kind of left us all

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<v Speaker 1>in a three page long letter. This story about a

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<v Speaker 1>necessarily had um the process of telling my mom and

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<v Speaker 1>quite a convoluted story UM that kind of shed some

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<v Speaker 1>clarity on a lot of events throughout my childhood and adolescence.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been an overwhelming thing to know about and to

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<v Speaker 1>hear UM. I kind of read the letter initially it

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<v Speaker 1>met was met with shock and lots of tears obviously

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<v Speaker 1>as well, and then kind of has been a process

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<v Speaker 1>of being very glad that I know giving a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of clarity to past events, and kind of this ongoing

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<v Speaker 1>process of feeling really fresh hurt and fresh anger for

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<v Speaker 1>something that happened so long ago, and kind of processing

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<v Speaker 1>what that looks like now in my life as an

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<v Speaker 1>adult and my relationship with my parents and the perspective

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<v Speaker 1>I have on a lot of things that happened throughout

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<v Speaker 1>my life. So UM, there is a little bit of

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<v Speaker 1>my story. Thank you so much for this podcast. It's

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<v Speaker 1>been really relatable in a lot of ways, even though

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<v Speaker 1>the stories are different for every person. To thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>If you'd like to share your story, call one eight

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<v Speaker 1>eight eight secret zero and record your story. We won't

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<v Speaker 1>be able to run all the stories, but we do

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<v Speaker 1>want to shine a light on as many as we can.

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<v Speaker 1>The number again is one eight eight eight Secret and

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<v Speaker 1>then the numeral zero. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio,

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<v Speaker 1>visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite shows.