Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm
Speaker 1: Danny Shapiro, and this is family Secrets, the secrets that
Speaker 1: are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others,
Speaker 1: and the secrets we keep from ourselves. As I tore
Speaker 1: the nation from my book Inheritance, I've heard from so
Speaker 1: many about your own family secrets and realize that what
Speaker 1: we are creating for each other on this podcast is
Speaker 1: a community, a community for those who are looking for
Speaker 1: a safe and supportive space to unburden themselves. To that end,
Speaker 1: we've created a number for listeners to call in to
Speaker 1: record stories to share here in this space. This week,
Speaker 1: I'd like to share a few of those stories from
Speaker 1: our community. Thanks for listening. My family's secret is UM
Speaker 1: something that actually ended up being the reason that I
Speaker 1: was born. My grandfather had fallen in love with this
Speaker 1: woman and they had conceived a child out of wedlock.
Speaker 1: Her parents wouldn't let them get married, so they took
Speaker 1: her away um to have the baby and put the
Speaker 1: baby up for adoption. This was I think very early
Speaker 1: sixties to late fifties, and uh they they didn't need
Speaker 1: his signature or anything back then. So my grandfather has
Speaker 1: a child my mom got pregnant with me very young.
Speaker 1: Um also was not married. And uh, that's when my
Speaker 1: grandpa told us his secret for the first time. My
Speaker 1: grandmother didn't even know, and he took my mom out
Speaker 1: and she was contemplating her options, and my grandfather said,
Speaker 1: I have a child who has a big place for adoption.
Speaker 1: It is the worst experience I've ever had to deal
Speaker 1: with and live with. Please keep your baby, and I
Speaker 1: don't help you it. That's really what happened to UM.
Speaker 1: My grandfather is very much my father in a lot
Speaker 1: of ways, especially in angry years before my dad became
Speaker 1: a part of life. And Uh, I've been trying to
Speaker 1: find my uncle. Uh, we know that the baby was
Speaker 1: a boy, and we've all gone on the DNA websites
Speaker 1: and I've just been waiting for a hit and hoping
Speaker 1: for a hit someday. That's my family's secret. Hi, And
Speaker 1: my family's secret starts with my grandfather on my mom's side.
Speaker 1: He never knew his grandparents from his dad's side, so
Speaker 1: his paternal grandparents. I took it upon me to do
Speaker 1: the genealogy and try to find out who his family was.
Speaker 1: Eventually we were able to find them out, But along
Speaker 1: the way we found out that his dad had been
Speaker 1: married previously and had a child from that first marriage.
Speaker 1: When I went over to my grandparents house to share
Speaker 1: this information, of all the ancestors we were able to find,
Speaker 1: you know, his grandparents and beyond, and then also this
Speaker 1: information about long lost sister that we thought he never
Speaker 1: knew about. Um he just said, oh, I thought it
Speaker 1: was a brother that I had, which my grandma and
Speaker 1: I kind of looked at him in dis police since
Speaker 1: he had never shared this information if anyone, and come
Speaker 1: to find out, you know, he was an only child,
Speaker 1: so he thought, and his parents and other family members
Speaker 1: were of the mindset that children should be seen and
Speaker 1: not heard, so he would just only overhear things but
Speaker 1: could never ask questions, and if he did, he would
Speaker 1: be told, you know, we'll talk about that when you're older,
Speaker 1: which they never did. So now our project is trying
Speaker 1: to find out more about the sister. We know that
Speaker 1: she passed away in the mid nineties, and now we're
Speaker 1: trying to find family relations on her side that we
Speaker 1: can connect with and find out more about her and
Speaker 1: what may have happened with that relationship, why the dad
Speaker 1: never had contact with her again why they got divorced
Speaker 1: and she was never a part of his life. Hi,
Speaker 1: I am calling to UM leave a little bit of
Speaker 1: that family secret story UM that has recently come to light.
Speaker 1: UM and Tinnah had some light on some past events
Speaker 1: that have happened in my life. I am almost thirty
Speaker 1: years old, and when I was in sixth grade, I
Speaker 1: remember my mom coming up and telling me, after my
Speaker 1: parents had had some real difficulty and my dad had
Speaker 1: moved out for a bit, that things were going to change.
Speaker 1: Of course, assumed divorce, UM time goes on, nothing happens.
Speaker 1: I don't have the courage to ask about it. They
Speaker 1: stayed together until in the junior in high school and
Speaker 1: I finally asked her, were you guys going to get
Speaker 1: a divorce? And she simply responds the yes. And when
Speaker 1: I asked, why did you not, she said because of
Speaker 1: you kids. I am the oldest sibling of a few
Speaker 1: of us, UM. And fast forward to now, as an
Speaker 1: almost thirty year old, my parents are having some more
Speaker 1: marital difficulties and during this process, my dad decides to
Speaker 1: send us a letter telling us about the fact that
Speaker 1: he cheated on my mom. When UM, I was back
Speaker 1: in sad sixth grade and kind of left us all
Speaker 1: in a three page long letter. This story about a
Speaker 1: necessarily had um the process of telling my mom and
Speaker 1: quite a convoluted story UM that kind of shed some
Speaker 1: clarity on a lot of events throughout my childhood and adolescence.
Speaker 1: It's been an overwhelming thing to know about and to
Speaker 1: hear UM. I kind of read the letter initially it
Speaker 1: met was met with shock and lots of tears obviously
Speaker 1: as well, and then kind of has been a process
Speaker 1: of being very glad that I know giving a lot
Speaker 1: of clarity to past events, and kind of this ongoing
Speaker 1: process of feeling really fresh hurt and fresh anger for
Speaker 1: something that happened so long ago, and kind of processing
Speaker 1: what that looks like now in my life as an
Speaker 1: adult and my relationship with my parents and the perspective
Speaker 1: I have on a lot of things that happened throughout
Speaker 1: my life. So UM, there is a little bit of
Speaker 1: my story. Thank you so much for this podcast. It's
Speaker 1: been really relatable in a lot of ways, even though
Speaker 1: the stories are different for every person. To thank you.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to share your story, call one eight
Speaker 1: eight eight secret zero and record your story. We won't
Speaker 1: be able to run all the stories, but we do
Speaker 1: want to shine a light on as many as we can.
Speaker 1: The number again is one eight eight eight Secret and
Speaker 1: then the numeral zero. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio,
Speaker 1: visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.