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Speaker 1: Hey fam, Hello Sunshine.

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Speaker 2: Today on the bright Side, we're diving into networking and

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Speaker 2: why the holiday season might just be the perfect time

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Speaker 2: to rekindle your professional connections.

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Speaker 3: Caulfin It's coach Susie.

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Speaker 2: Moore joins us with the tools to crush those networking

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Speaker 2: nerves and the smartest ways to reach out, and a

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Speaker 2: little known secret how gratitude can be a game changer

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Speaker 2: in a cold call. It's Tuesday, November nineteenth. I'm Danielle Robe.

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Speaker 1: And I'm Simoan Boyce and this is the bright Side

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Speaker 1: from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together

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Speaker 1: to share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day. Danielle,

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving is a week away, which is so crazy, and

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Speaker 1: that means we're going to be in a mad dash

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Speaker 1: through the holidays and into the new year.

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Speaker 2: I love how social this time of year is, and

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Speaker 2: our guest today is here to help us make the

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Speaker 2: most of the holiday season's networking opportunities with what she

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Speaker 2: calls the holiday glow.

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Speaker 1: We all know the benefits of networking, but frankly, I

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Speaker 1: don't always have the energy for it. And to be honest,

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Speaker 1: like I used to network quote unquote a lot more

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Speaker 1: when I was younger and in my twenties and just

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Speaker 1: starting out, But as I've gotten older, sometimes the idea

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Speaker 1: of networking can feel kind of cringe. I know that

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Speaker 1: this is a struggle among some of my friends too.

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Speaker 1: I hear that people don't always know what to say

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Speaker 1: when they reach out, or don't even know who to

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Speaker 1: reach out to in the first place.

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Speaker 2: To that point, I actually stopped calling it networking a

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Speaker 2: few years ago and just started calling it relationship building

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Speaker 2: because I agree it can feel kind of cringe, and

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Speaker 2: I'm excited to ask our guests about that. So Confidence

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Speaker 2: Coach Susie Moore is a former Silicon Valley sales director

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Speaker 2: turned life coach. Susie's all about removing the fear around

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Speaker 2: networking and equipping us with the tools to reconnect with

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Speaker 2: colleagues both past and present and spark relationships that can

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Speaker 2: really set us up for success in the new year.

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Speaker 1: Susie Moore, Welcome to the bright Side.

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Speaker 4: I am so excited, Danielle someone to be here, truly,

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Speaker 4: thank you for having me.

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Speaker 1: Of course, we're so happy to have you, and we

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Speaker 1: were just talking about how this actually isn't the first

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Speaker 1: time that your teachings have appeared on our show. We

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Speaker 1: initially shared your insights on how to manage emotions while

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Speaker 1: you're at the workplace and dealing with business frustrations. So

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Speaker 1: we're so happy to have you here to talk about

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Speaker 1: another very important topic, which is networking, and specifically we

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Speaker 1: want to talk about networking through the lens of the

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Speaker 1: holiday break. You actually say that we should be thinking

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Speaker 1: about networking strategically this time of year.

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Speaker 5: Why is that?

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, ladies, when you think about it, isn't

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Speaker 4: there a holiday glow around this kind of time of

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Speaker 4: year heading through November into December. I know it's busy.

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Speaker 4: I know there's family stuff, but this is the season

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Speaker 4: right of generosity, of being warm hearted. It's all about

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Speaker 4: the spirit and what we can do for each other.

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Speaker 4: So I say, take advantage, take advantage of this time

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Speaker 4: when people happier, spirits a buoyance, and it's very natural

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Speaker 4: that it can be really fun to reach out to

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Speaker 4: people this time of year. We're all feeling a bit reflective,

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Speaker 4: hopeful for a new year, and I think there are

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Speaker 4: so many easy ways that we could do it.

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Speaker 2: I am so curious what those easy ways are, because

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Speaker 2: I mentor a lot of younger women, And the most

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Speaker 2: common thing that they all say to me is they

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Speaker 2: don't know how to reach out or like, is it

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Speaker 2: weird if they say X, Y, and Z or send

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Speaker 2: a cold email. But in your work you say that

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Speaker 2: emails are not the only way to reach out. What

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Speaker 2: do you think the best ways to reach out are?

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Speaker 4: I think even just the term networking seems intimidating, right,

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Speaker 4: I even kind of use other words in some cases,

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Speaker 4: just you know, connecting or reconnecting or showing up in

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Speaker 4: new places. And when it comes to reaching out to people,

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Speaker 4: not only is it appropriate, but if we're not doing it,

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Speaker 4: we're really missing out. Whatever it is that you want

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Speaker 4: from your networking in the coming weeks. Your intention, for example,

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Speaker 4: is to find a job, or to move into a

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Speaker 4: new career or into a new industry. It's going to

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Speaker 4: be people that let that happen. Right. Sometimes we think, oh,

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Speaker 4: it's a company. It's not a company, it's not a brand.

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Speaker 4: It's human beings who work there, human beings who know

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Speaker 4: other human beings who hire, etc. So the way that

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Speaker 4: I think about it is networking is appropriate, it's natural,

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Speaker 4: it can be fun, and ideally you start where you

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Speaker 4: are with what you have, and most people don't even

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Speaker 4: realize that their networks are bigger than perhaps they realize.

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Speaker 4: This is what it's good to have an intention for

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Speaker 4: your networking. Who do you know? Where can you potentially start,

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Speaker 4: even if it's not an obvious match, by just creating

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Speaker 4: a list getting started? I like to start with at

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Speaker 4: least thirty people, so that you don't feel super attached

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Speaker 4: or tied to one.

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Speaker 2: Person, Lance Suzi, you think so thirty, Well, I like that.

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Speaker 2: I get what you're saying is so you feel less attached.

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Speaker 2: But I've never thought about putting a list together of

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Speaker 2: thirty people.

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Speaker 4: Well, if you think about if if you've had just

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Speaker 4: say one or two jobs, even say entry level jobs,

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Speaker 4: there are coworkers that you've had, and managers and people

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Speaker 4: who know other people. Maybe you're part of a book

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Speaker 4: club or a running club, or you have a gym membership.

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Speaker 4: There are so many ways that I think we overlook

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Speaker 4: the connections that we have, and when we're willing to

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Speaker 4: take the initiative, feel willing to feel a little uncomfortable,

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Speaker 4: which is all confidence is really in the end, then

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Speaker 4: so much can open up. And why wouldn't we like

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Speaker 4: why wouldn't we do that take advantage of this time

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Speaker 4: of year. There is nothing worse in sitting around hoping

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Speaker 4: something's going to just land on your lap. Taking the initiative,

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Speaker 4: creating your own momentum and reaching out to others. It's

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Speaker 4: amazing the turnarounds that we can see.

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Speaker 1: So how do you compile this list of thirty people?

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Speaker 1: Where do you look for them?

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Speaker 4: I find LinkedIn the most helpful because you can filter

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Speaker 4: by location, you can filter by industry, you can even

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Speaker 4: filter by job level, And I would think, who do

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Speaker 4: I know? Who? Maybe I've just forgotten about. Often when

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Speaker 4: I even help people compile their this, they're like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 4: I forgot that that friend's husband works here. And so

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Speaker 4: I'd stop by sitting down doing a rough brainstorm. There

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Speaker 4: are going to be some obvious people that come to

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Speaker 4: mind to begin with. That's really letting it be easy, right,

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Speaker 4: the first people who come to mind. But then when

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Speaker 4: you just look at your social channels and you look

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Speaker 4: at any other networks you have in your life, like

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Speaker 4: in real life, then if you set this goal of thirty,

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Speaker 4: so if I wanted to connect with an old co worker,

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Speaker 4: extending gratitude and connecting with others in this way of

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Speaker 4: appreciating them is also a really lovely way to open

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Speaker 4: up or reopen a conversation.

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Speaker 2: I also love the specificity of that susy because I

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Speaker 2: think people are more apt to reply or want to

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Speaker 2: reply when it doesn't feel like this blanket hello, here's

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Speaker 2: what I need type of an email when it's really

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Speaker 2: tailored and thoughtful.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and that takes very little time. That takes very little,

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Speaker 4: just like sometimes in my work I'll say one or

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Speaker 4: two minutes of homework can save like hours of hustle.

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Speaker 4: So reaching out with something like you say specific that

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Speaker 4: sincere right sincerity is really important in this because I

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Speaker 4: think networking has this reputation of you know, reaching out

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Speaker 4: you need something, using people getting what you can. But

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Speaker 4: when we approach it, I think open heartedly from a

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Speaker 4: place of integrity and honesty. Who knows what can form,

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Speaker 4: who knows how your world can open up when you

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Speaker 4: sees it and you make it happen, especially this time

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Speaker 4: of year.

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Speaker 2: I've actually reframed the word in my mind. I think

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Speaker 2: of it as relationship building because networking has this sort

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Speaker 2: of like connotation that you're talking about, like like snake

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Speaker 2: in the grass, almost and it's just not how I

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Speaker 2: view it at all, Like we're all in different ways

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Speaker 2: in the business of connection, and so I just think

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Speaker 2: about in terms of relationship building, and I approach it like,

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Speaker 2: how would I approach a new friend.

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Speaker 4: Who knows what could come from a connection, And yeah,

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Speaker 4: of course ideally something good for you, but who knows

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Speaker 4: what it could also do for someone else. Good things

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Speaker 4: happen when we care about each other.

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Speaker 1: And when you're providing value to someone else. When I

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Speaker 1: think about the people who I actually wanted to stay

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Speaker 1: in touch with when I was working as a reporter,

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Speaker 1: someone that comes to mind is a publicist who every

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Speaker 1: time he reached out to me, he provided value in

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Speaker 1: some way. He invited me to come check out some

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Speaker 1: exhibit he was working on, or he provided some new

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Speaker 1: insight into women's sports that I wasn't aware of. So

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Speaker 1: I always prioritized that relationship with this particular publicist because

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Speaker 1: he just positioned himself to be of service, and I

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Speaker 1: thought that that was a really powerful way to go

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Speaker 1: about relationship building.

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Speaker 3: Don't go anywhere. We have more from Susie.

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Speaker 2: Right after the break, and we're back with Susie Moore. Susie,

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Speaker 2: what about specific language for the ask. Because you gave

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Speaker 2: us a great intro to the email, which is a

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Speaker 2: thank you or a thoughtful moment, what about the ask?

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Speaker 2: Do you are you in the camp of just going

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Speaker 2: for it?

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Speaker 4: Well, it depends on what the ask is, right, So,

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Speaker 4: if you want to get together in person with someone,

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Speaker 4: that's not always going to be possible based on your location.

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Speaker 4: But if you're getting together in personal that feels like

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Speaker 4: feasible and fun. Absolutely. By the way, fun fact, December

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Speaker 4: specifically that week between Christmas and New Year, it's less

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Speaker 4: busy than people realize. It's always that, you know, let's

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Speaker 4: circle back off to the holidays. That's kind of like

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Speaker 4: the mantra we start hearing around now. But a lot

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Speaker 4: of people they have like this holiday downtime, And I've

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Speaker 4: had lots of meetings, lots of connections in this period.

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Speaker 4: Have you ever noticed that, Like, are you that busy

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Speaker 4: between Christmas and New Year?

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Speaker 1: I completely lose track of time during that liminal space

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Speaker 1: between Christmas and New Year's Like I don't know what

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Speaker 1: day it is. I personally, I don't think I'm in

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Speaker 1: the right headspace for work and relationship building. Then I'm

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Speaker 1: so family oriented but I think you bring up a

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Speaker 1: really good point that sometimes the seasons where we expect

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Speaker 1: people to be really busy, maybe they're actually open to connection.

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Speaker 4: Yes and not everyone has a close by family, right

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Speaker 4: and now everyone has the gorgeous luxury of like close friends,

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Speaker 4: they spend time with their kids. So getting together with

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Speaker 4: someone during you know, the holidays, that can even have

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Speaker 4: this pressure of oh community and connection. You can even

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Speaker 4: be that for somebody. So I would absolutely go for

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Speaker 4: an ask, ask for something low stakes thirty minutes. I

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Speaker 4: love the statement to share information. Let's just share spinfo

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Speaker 4: about the industry. It's not like I'm looking for a job.

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Speaker 4: Can you help me? Make it very casual, be cool,

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Speaker 4: and don't put any pressure.

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Speaker 3: I just have a quick little pushback to that.

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Speaker 2: And I want to know what you think, okay, because

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Speaker 2: when I get emails from people who are just kind

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Speaker 2: of like, would like love to share some information about

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Speaker 2: the industry, I'm like, I'm so sorry, I don't have

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Speaker 2: time for that. Like I actually want a specific ask

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Speaker 2: because then maybe I can help.

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Speaker 3: So what do you think?

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Speaker 4: So if someone who didn't know you at all was

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Speaker 4: coming to you with the question, that'd be better for

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Speaker 4: you yeah, I think that there are some people who

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Speaker 4: receive a lot of requests. I don't know if that's everybody.

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Speaker 4: I think that if someone is receiving a lot of

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Speaker 4: requests specificity absolutely, because you know that you're probably one

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Speaker 4: of many in an inbox and you want to stand

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Speaker 4: out and you want to just really shoot your shot. Well,

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Speaker 4: when you're reaching out to someone in that case, I'm

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Speaker 4: sure you even have your typical kind of response, like

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Speaker 4: do you just have a quick question? You know, how

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Speaker 4: can I help you? Like you'd also want something to

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Speaker 4: be probably quite rapid, a rapid way in which you

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Speaker 4: could help. But I'm not sure that's true at large necessarily,

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Speaker 4: but I agree for someone who receives a lot it

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Speaker 4: has a very very busy inbox full of requests. Then

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Speaker 4: being specific and having one direct question and just say

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Speaker 4: saying five minutes or a quick answer to this or

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Speaker 4: for example, it's the same if someone's asking for a

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Speaker 4: book endorsement, it's like, hey, can I and here are

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Speaker 4: three that I've written up? Can you approve one?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Right exactly?

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Speaker 4: Making its speed is wonderful. But I do think, largely speaking,

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Speaker 4: if you're going for abroad, if you're casting a wider net.

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Speaker 4: You'd want to gauge it based on the person and

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Speaker 4: what you think, like how kind of in demand they are?

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Speaker 4: And this is a thing too, right, Life is not

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Speaker 4: like this one approach fits all. And you know you said,

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Speaker 4: Danielle blanket approaches. They're a little rough. In my opinion,

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Speaker 4: I really don't like them when I receive them. So

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Speaker 4: this is also a bit experimental, right, like, let's have fun.

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Speaker 4: Why are you so serious? I think networking is like

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Speaker 4: this fun natural part of life that I want to

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Speaker 4: take advantage of and enjoy versus psyche myself up for

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Speaker 4: and go, Okay, it's my networking hour. I'm going to

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Speaker 4: sit down now and do my reach out. What if

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Speaker 4: it's different, what if it's a bit more lighthearted and

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Speaker 4: not so serious?

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 5: I love approach.

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Speaker 1: I think everything goes wrong whenever you place too much

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Speaker 1: pressure on the outcome.

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Speaker 5: So I agree with you one thousand percent, susy.

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Speaker 1: Okay, speaking of keeping things fun and light, do you

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Speaker 1: have any suggestions for subject lines? Is it okay to

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Speaker 1: get playful with the subject line?

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Speaker 2: I love?

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Speaker 4: Do you just love a cheeky little subject line?

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Speaker 1: I do personally, but I don't know if it's effective

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Speaker 1: or professional.

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Speaker 4: I think it's wildly wildly professional if you're speaking to

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Speaker 4: a corporation. I had this funny distinction recently. There was

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Speaker 4: a new head of human resources for a tech company,

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Speaker 4: and no one was responding to his emails. You know,

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Speaker 4: you had to fill out a new form based on

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Speaker 4: a new tax law. It was like, please fill out

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Speaker 4: XYZ form reminder action required, And no one's responding, and

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Speaker 4: he's freaking out and the subject is, hey, can I

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Speaker 4: pay you? It's like, we're all human beings, right. I

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Speaker 4: think that we get it wrong when we think that

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Speaker 4: we have to sound like corporations, or we have to

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Speaker 4: sound like lawyers, or we have to use this kind

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Speaker 4: of contract style language with human beings. So I'm all

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Speaker 4: about the fun, super fun subject lines all lower case.

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Speaker 4: I keep it really really casual. If it's something like

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Speaker 4: formal request, you know, I can see that's important. But

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Speaker 4: when we can kind of I think, even crack through

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Speaker 4: some of the things that we think we should do,

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Speaker 4: and we can be even like the bright spot in

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Speaker 4: someone's day. So I've seen some wild funny subject lines

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Speaker 4: in my life and I love them, and I think,

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Speaker 4: aren't you some much more apt to click on something

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Speaker 4: that makes you smile or raises like a sense of

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Speaker 4: curiosity over potential meeting requests.

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Speaker 1: I love how granular we're going here. I want to

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Speaker 1: ask you guys about leveraging another contact for an introduction

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Speaker 1: to someone else. Do I think this is a red flag,

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Speaker 1: beige flag, or a green networking flag.

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Speaker 4: It's absolutely cool so long as you're also willing to

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Speaker 4: do that for others. So if I'm always asking you both,

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Speaker 4: can you introduce me to say five people each over

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Speaker 4: the course of a year. But I've never done that

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Speaker 4: for you, or I've never even responded when you've asked,

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Speaker 4: or I haven't even had the haven't even taken upon

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Speaker 4: myself to go, hey, you should. I really know this

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Speaker 4: amazing person in la coming from a place of being generous,

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Speaker 4: I think that it's absolutely a green flag so long

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Speaker 4: as it's equal, and it won't always be one hundred

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Speaker 4: percent equal fifty to fifty, they'll be different seasons. But

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Speaker 4: I love it. What about you, guys, do you like it?

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Speaker 3: Simon's giggling, I'm taking that as a no for her.

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Speaker 5: It's a red flag for me.

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Speaker 1: But perhaps it's because whenever I've gotten a request like

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Speaker 1: this to leverage one of my contacts on behalf of

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Speaker 1: someone else. Usually that person never never offers that sort

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Speaker 1: of value in my direction. And to take it a

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Speaker 1: step further, what's really a red flag for me with

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Speaker 1: networking is when people don't follow up with me just

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Speaker 1: without an agenda to see how I'm doing. They only

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Speaker 1: get in touch when it is a request, and so

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Speaker 1: I think that's when it begins to feel like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: is this actually genuine? And I think like finding that

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Speaker 1: genuine connection is what this is all about, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: none of us want to have to force anything at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, We're all looking for something,

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Speaker 1: you know, a relationship that feels easy, that has some

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Speaker 1: sort of ease to it.

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Speaker 5: How about you, Danielle, what do you think.

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Speaker 2: I go back and forth simone, because there's definitely been

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Speaker 2: times in my life where I feel taken advantage of.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty quick with a yes as long as it's

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Speaker 2: comfortable for me and the person asking, I know is

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Speaker 2: like going to represent themselves well and not you know,

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Speaker 2: embarrass me. I feel like connection is such a gift,

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Speaker 2: Like I get so excited and grateful when somebody goes

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Speaker 2: out of their way to email me out of the

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Speaker 2: blue and say, hey, Danielle, you should know so and so. Like,

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Speaker 2: I know this is random, but I just had this feeling.

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Speaker 2: So I actually do this all the time. I try

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Speaker 2: and do like one or two a week actually, where

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Speaker 2: I just think about people in my network, think about

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Speaker 2: people that I've met recently, and think like, Okay, who

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Speaker 2: do I know that could add value to each other's lives.

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Speaker 2: And honestly, some great things have come out of it,

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Speaker 2: like people have made money, people have started businesses, and

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Speaker 2: so I just think of it as like good karma.

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Speaker 1: You know. I think you enjoy it, though, Danielle is

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Speaker 1: because it's organic. I think that's when this works best.

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Speaker 1: It's coming from a genuine place of I feel like

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Speaker 1: these two people would vibe.

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Speaker 5: I want to connect you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, if it's forest, you're right like you guys both

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Speaker 2: talked about integrity and sincerity.

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Speaker 3: If it's forced, it's weird.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: There's an old joke, right that you don't want to

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Speaker 4: be like the drunk uncle right showing up just when

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Speaker 4: you want money, Like you're showing up right, Hey, Hey

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Speaker 4: it's Christmas?

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Speaker 5: Can I have money?

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Speaker 4: Like it's like no, I'm always in touch. I'm always

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Speaker 4: checking in on you, and I don't mean every single week,

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Speaker 4: but two or three texts a year. We're not talking

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Speaker 4: texting work. Here, these tiny things that we can do

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Speaker 4: to stay in touch. That's also what networking over the

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Speaker 4: holidays could be. You don't even need an ask. It

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Speaker 4: can just be a really great way to get in

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Speaker 4: touch or get back in touch with somebody.

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Speaker 1: We're going to take a short break, but we'll be

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Speaker 1: right back. Stay with us, and we're back with Susie Moore.

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Speaker 2: Susie, there's a question I'm going to ask you that

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Speaker 2: I'm actually repurposing. I can't even take credit for the

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Speaker 2: question because there's this awesome woman that I connected with

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Speaker 2: over a cold message via DM and she was looking

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Speaker 2: for just a little guidance and she's in a transition

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Speaker 2: phase in her life, and she asked me something I

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Speaker 2: didn't know how to answer. So I would love your expertise.

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Speaker 2: I've shared the story of how when I moved to

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Speaker 2: LA I lived in a garage and no one would

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Speaker 2: reply to my cold emails because I had nothing really

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Speaker 2: to give them, like I had no value to add.

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Speaker 2: What I did was I sent people bamboo plants or

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Speaker 2: cookies with a little note because if they receive something

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Speaker 2: physical it was harder to ignore. And then that way

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Speaker 2: they would email me a thank you and we would

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Speaker 2: start an email.

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Speaker 3: That's actually how I got my first job.

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Speaker 2: Eventually, like eight months later, one of those companies emailed

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Speaker 2: me and said, our host is out sick.

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Speaker 3: Can you fill in?

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Speaker 2: So she knew that story from listening to a podcast,

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Speaker 2: and she said, I love that.

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Speaker 3: I love a bold move.

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Speaker 2: I'm willing to make it, but I'm like eight years

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Speaker 2: into my career and so sort of like sending something

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Speaker 2: like that feels like a little desperate or a little weird,

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Speaker 2: and I don't quite know what the right move is now,

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Speaker 2: Like what's a bold move eight to ten years into

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Speaker 2: your career?

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Speaker 3: And I said, I agree with you. I don't know

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Speaker 3: what do you?

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Speaker 4: So she so she's eight to ten years in and

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Speaker 4: she's looking to open up her network.

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Speaker 2: Yes, she's thinking about, you know, expanding. She's like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know what the bold move is now that I'm

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Speaker 2: not new.

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Speaker 4: No, it's a great question. And so you've required at

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Speaker 4: that point, Danielle in your garage, like you required a

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Speaker 4: bold move because you didn't really know anybody yet. But

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Speaker 4: when you think about like that bridge between maybe where

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Speaker 4: you were and where you want to to be, there

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Speaker 4: was a gap, right, And what a great story, What

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Speaker 4: a great thing to share, like let people know, you know,

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Speaker 4: anything's possible. But if someone's already got a decade under

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Speaker 4: their belt, maybe she's not even acknowledging how many people

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Speaker 4: she knows and how awesome she is. If someone says

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Speaker 4: I'm ten years in, I'd go, well, you're probably really

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Speaker 4: primed to actually just be connecting, to actually just be

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Speaker 4: reaching out very confidently and with complete elegance. And I

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Speaker 4: think that sometimes we think that it has to be

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Speaker 4: a bit harder than maybe it is. But I'm guessing

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Speaker 4: this woman, whoever she is, probably if she just sat

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Speaker 4: down for a quick brainstorming session came up with a

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Speaker 4: list of thirty, she's far better placed than she might think.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes you think, oh, I don't know anybody or they

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Speaker 4: don't care. But it's very easy, I think, to discount

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Speaker 4: how far we've come, how much we know, how good

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Speaker 4: we are, and also what it is that we have

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Speaker 4: to offer.

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Speaker 2: Right, that's interesting, she just needs a move. We're asking

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Speaker 2: the wrong question.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think sometimes it's easy to that too, to

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Speaker 4: think that has to be bigger and harder versus Okay, well,

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Speaker 4: it's like, where's the warmest place for me to start?

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Speaker 1: I would love to talk about holiday parties now. I

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Speaker 1: know our schedules are going to be filling up with

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Speaker 1: those in the next few weeks. They can be fun

439
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 1: and celebratory, but they can also be intimidating. If you've

440
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: ever experienced some social anxiety, I know I have, And

441
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 1: coming back to this idea of placing outsize pressure on ourselves,

442
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: I think this is an environment where that can happen too.

443
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 1: How do you make the most of the few moments

444
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 1: that you have with someone irl? How can you make

445
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: it really magical and memorable to facilitate a follow up?

446
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,959
Speaker 4: I love this question because I think it's an area

447
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 4: that's way easier than most people think. They think, Oh,

448
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 4: I've got to say the perfect thing, or I've got

449
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 4: to have this perfect polish introduction. I even have to

450
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,199
Speaker 4: look great. This is what I'll do with my hands.

451
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 4: But if you just ask questions like, what's keeping you

452
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 4: busy right now? What's something cool this happened to you

453
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 4: in twenty twenty four? What are you most looking forward

454
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 4: to about the new year? People will talk and talk

455
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 4: and talk and you will learn about them. And there's

456
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 4: someone's like, oh, I want to learn to ski. Then

457
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,200
Speaker 4: maybe you're like, okay, I'm going to remember that when

458
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 4: you follow up, you have something again specificity, right, Danielle.

459
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 4: That's coming back to how can I make this really

460
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,439
Speaker 4: really customed, like this one on one connection and my

461
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 4: secret kind of weapon. I just remember that everyone's human

462
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 4: and everyone's nervous, and if you're the one who's generous

463
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 4: enough to ask questions and be a good listener, that's

464
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 4: actually what makes you a great conversationalist, just listening. And

465
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 4: isn't that like pressure off?

466
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 5: Yes? I love this advice, Susie.

467
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: This is such sound advice because if you just lead

468
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 1: with your curiosity, then it really takes the burden off

469
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 1: of you.

470
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 4: Right, Simona, be useful, like be helpful. If someone's like, oh,

471
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 4: you know, I'm going to go to London for the

472
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 4: first time, I'm like, I've got my London checklist, and

473
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 4: that's like, ah, like something custom and lovely that really

474
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 4: kind of solidifies even a relationship from the get go,

475
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 4: and it's also really fun. So I think listening, being generous,

476
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 4: and then when it comes to following up, which we

477
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 4: have to do otherwise it's just a fleeting moment in time,

478
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 4: which could also be nice. But if you want to

479
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,439
Speaker 4: build something, then those seeds that are planted. Oh there

480
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 4: are so many fun ways that you can go.

481
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,880
Speaker 1: So I think we all know that the real power

482
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: of connection is in the follow up, Like that's where

483
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 1: everything really starts. So how soon should you follow up?

484
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 1: What are some ground rules after you connect with someone

485
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:36,919
Speaker 1: in person?

486
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 4: Follow up within a week because people actually do forget right.

487
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 4: Just say you go to an event in real life

488
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,199
Speaker 4: and you meet say eight people, right, maybe have a

489
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 4: deep conversation with one or two people. Once a week

490
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 4: has passed, they've been to other events, there has been

491
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 4: you know, there's just like the commotion of action during

492
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 4: the holidays. So I follow up. I would do it

493
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 4: within a couple of days, no later than a week.

494
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 4: Reference the conversation or reference and something that you spoke

495
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 4: about that shows hey, this isn't my so nice to

496
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 4: meet you. Shall we get coffee? And then if you

497
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 4: can offer something helpful, And because as human beings, we

498
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 4: are very likely to match someone's energy and give what

499
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 4: we receive, then they're likely to often meet us in

500
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 4: the way that we're showing up.

501
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 3: Do you recommend asking somebody for their email while you're

502
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 3: in person, Like sometimes I think you don't even have

503
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 3: their contact info. Two follow up.

504
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 4: I always like to ask for a phone number or say, hey,

505
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 4: what's the best way to keep in touch? What's the

506
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 4: best way? That's great, I'll tell you. Yeah, let them

507
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 4: let them inform you what they want.

508
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 3: That feels very elegant, Susian.

509
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, before you leave us, Susie, I need one green

510
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 2: flag and one red flag for networking.

511
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 4: A red flag would be when your intuition is just saying,

512
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 4: m you know that feeling you get even if someone

513
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 4: presents well, yeah, there's nothing that you could define that

514
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 4: feels a little off. If your intuition is like, I

515
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 4: don't know, I think that's an excellent thing to trust.

516
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,400
Speaker 4: And if you look in your history, probably times you've

517
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 4: kind of overridden that you've regretted it.

518
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really great that's that's actually something that

519
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 2: I don't think a lot of people say.

520
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 3: That is a really great piece of advice.

521
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 4: That's great when you've had the intuition like kind of

522
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 4: pulling you to go somewhere, even if you're tired, even

523
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 4: if you're like eah, but I don't know, but something

524
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 4: saying go and then you go. Aren't you happy?

525
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: Oh?

526
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 3: Yeah?

527
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 2: I have a bigger say yes to life theory.

528
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 4: Say yes when you want to write, because there's clear

529
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 4: nose you're like, no, no way, not even what I

530
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 4: was paid when I go. But then you're like, ah,

531
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 4: something about this is like kind of speaking to me.

532
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 4: So the grief flag is say ye when you're curiosity calls,

533
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 4: then sure up, no matter what.

534
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 2: I really like that it allows for a little randomness

535
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 2: in your life, which is I think sometimes where the

536
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 2: magic is.

537
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, and only only we know and no one

538
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 4: knows how we feel, so I always come to trusting

539
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 4: wirn feelings.

540
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 2: Well, Susie, thank you so much for your time. This

541
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 2: has been really fun and easy.

542
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 4: I love this conversation. Thank you, Danielle and Simone so

543
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 4: so much.

544
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 5: Thank you, Susie.

545
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 1: This is such a great refresher on all things relationships.

546
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 2: Susie Moore is a life coach, advice columnist, and the

547
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 2: author of Let It Be Easy. Simple Ways to Stop

548
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 2: stressing and start living.

549
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 5: That's it.

550
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: For today's show, Tomorrow, It's Wellness Wednesday. We're joined by

551
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 1: relationship and boundaries expertndra to Wab to help navigate the

552
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:44,119
Speaker 1: extra pressures of the holidays. Join the conversation using hashtag

553
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 1: the bright Side and connect with us on social media

554
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 1: at Hello Sunshine on Instagram and at the bright Side

555
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: Pod on TikTok oh, and feel free to tag us

556
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 1: at Simone Boye and at Danielle Robe.

557
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 2: Listen and follow the bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,

558
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 2: Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

559
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 1: See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.