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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker.

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Speaker 2: And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. I'm a mother of three,

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Speaker 2: a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are

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Speaker 2: two working parents who love our careers and our families.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura.

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Speaker 1: This is our back to school episode, which alert listeners

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Speaker 1: know we have been doing for many years now. We've

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Speaker 1: gone through a great many grade levels and added additional children.

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Speaker 1: Sarah now has a kindergartener who was not even with us,

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Speaker 1: you know, outside Sarah when this podcast began. So, Sarah,

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Speaker 1: why don't you give our listeners a quick rundown of

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Speaker 1: where your kids are in you know, age, why, and

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Speaker 1: how your logistics are for the start of this back

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Speaker 1: to school season.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So, my kids are currently at kindergarten, fourth grade,

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Speaker 2: and sixth grade, which I do feel is a little

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Speaker 2: bit of a milestone parenting year. In that I don't

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Speaker 2: have anyone in preschool anymore. However, in reality, it's a

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Speaker 2: little bit less dramatic or anti a little bit anti

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Speaker 2: climactic compared to what that might feel like, because, as

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Speaker 2: I've discussed, my kids go to a Montessori school and

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Speaker 2: for the youngest age group the three year olds to

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Speaker 2: age six, so all the way from pre K three

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Speaker 2: to kindergarten essentially are in the same classroom. So while

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Speaker 2: this sounds really momentous and I know kindergarten start is

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Speaker 2: a really big deal for a lot of kids, for

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Speaker 2: Genevie if it was just like I get to go

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Speaker 2: back to my same friends, my same teacher. The only

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Speaker 2: difference is that this year she gets to take field trips,

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Speaker 2: so that's I've been kind of playing that up as

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Speaker 2: something exciting to look forward to. And then Cameron also

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Speaker 2: switched classrooms. They are all at the same school, which

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Speaker 2: goes from preschool to eighth grade. He is now in

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Speaker 2: the class that annabel just spent two years in, so

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Speaker 2: that's kind of interesting. And then Annabelle is in middle school.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like if anybody has had their biggest

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Speaker 2: shift this year, it's her. A little different than my

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Speaker 2: middle school experience growing up, because their school is tiny,

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Speaker 2: which I think has some major benefits and some major downsides.

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Speaker 2: So it'll be interesting to see how it goes this year,

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Speaker 2: and I'm just trying to enter it with an open

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Speaker 2: mind and hoping it works out because the logistics are

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Speaker 2: just so wonderful. It's one drop off, one pickup, and

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Speaker 2: the times are not in sync, so the younger kids

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Speaker 2: start almost an hour earlier than the oldest kids, and

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Speaker 2: the oldest kids finished almost an hour later. But they

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Speaker 2: do provide complimentary aftercare for the little kids as long

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Speaker 2: as you have an older siblings. So essentially Genevieve is

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Speaker 2: spending an extra hour at school that we don't have

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Speaker 2: to pay for and gets picked up at almost four

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Speaker 2: o'clock most days, So that's a little bit of an

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Speaker 2: adjustment too.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Well, at least it's logistically convenient.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's three kids in the same school is

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Speaker 1: definitely a nice thing, and they've certainly sound like they've

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Speaker 1: thought about it.

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Speaker 3: What would be the sticking points? I mean, that would just.

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Speaker 1: Be so terrible if like the lower school and upper

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Speaker 1: school had different drop ups and they're like, yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: on your own sorry, just go hang out in our

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Speaker 1: parking lot for thirty minutes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that it would be a problem. And also,

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Speaker 2: just to remind listeners, the school is located on my

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Speaker 2: way to work, so there is kind of more than

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Speaker 2: one logistics benefit to our choice there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well we are My five children are going to

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Speaker 1: be a junior in high school, eighth grade, sixth grade,

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Speaker 1: third grade, and pre K. Everyone though, is in the

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Speaker 1: same school that they were last year. So last year

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Speaker 1: we had two kids starting new schools and Henry was

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Speaker 1: starting school for the first time, and well three kids

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Speaker 1: because my two middle schoolers, there was a new middle

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Speaker 1: school that opened in our district and we were our

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Speaker 1: district guide lines. I don't know how you how do

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Speaker 1: you say it?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: You know, we were in that catchment area. So we

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Speaker 1: had to switch schools for the older one and then

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Speaker 1: Ruth started. They switched from being six to eight to

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Speaker 1: being five to eight. How this all played out? So anyway,

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Speaker 1: they spent fifth and seventh grade at this school, and

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Speaker 1: now they will be sixth and eighth grade at the

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Speaker 1: same school, so that's not as huge a change. So

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping everything will be pretty much the same in

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Speaker 1: terms of the bus times we are given, so you

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Speaker 1: know when jazz band will be meeting hopefully you know,

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Speaker 1: in the morning, at the same days or even something.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we'll work it out, but I think logistically

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff will be the same, so no

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Speaker 1: major schedule changes, which is good. I think there's going

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Speaker 1: to be a lot of shifts over the years, as

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Speaker 1: you know. Well, next year Sam will start high school

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Speaker 1: and there will be changes, but right now we don't

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Speaker 1: have as many, so kind of looking forward to that.

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Speaker 1: We're not in school yet. When this is airing, Sarah's

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Speaker 1: been in school for like a week and a half.

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Speaker 1: We were like, yeah, you know, we don't start till

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Speaker 1: after Labor Day, so I take this back to school,

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Speaker 1: as you will wherever you are in the process.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to think about whether there will ever be

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Speaker 2: a moment you have five kids in five different schools.

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Speaker 2: It might be right college, I.

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Speaker 3: Mean middle school, when Jasper goes to college.

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Speaker 1: So his freshman year of college, Sam will be a sophomore.

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Speaker 1: Ruth will be in eighth grade, but Alex will be

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Speaker 1: in fifth grade, so he'll be in school with Ruth,

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Speaker 1: so we won't be all separate at.

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Speaker 3: That point, they're not quite so spread out that that

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Speaker 3: would happen.

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Speaker 2: Totally fascinating and sounds incredibly challenging from my kind of

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Speaker 2: easier vantage point. So in terms of like kind of

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Speaker 2: school morning type nanny type logistics, are you kind of

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Speaker 2: sticking to the same schedule as last year?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, with the.

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Speaker 1: One caveat that I'm hoping to start work earlier. So

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Speaker 1: this past year I often wound up helping with the

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Speaker 1: sort of Alex and Henry getting ready time, and you know,

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Speaker 1: it's one of those things that like they could sleep

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Speaker 1: until eight basically, so I had no desire to kind

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Speaker 1: of wake them up earlier if they were still asleep.

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Speaker 1: But Henry in particular was always very He's a little

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Speaker 1: you know, wants mommy in the morning, and so then

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Speaker 1: I wound up kind of being with him while or

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Speaker 1: nanny was helping Alex get ready and get breakfast and

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Speaker 1: get you ready for school and all that, and then

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Speaker 1: they would leave at eight forty and then I would

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Speaker 1: start work. But I'm like, well, I think this year,

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Speaker 1: especially since Henry's going to be in school nine to twelve,

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Speaker 1: five mornings a week, to sort of feel like I

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Speaker 1: justify having the nanny coverage in the morning. I want

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Speaker 1: to start work closer to eight when she gets there,

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Speaker 1: which means that I probably just need to get Henry

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Speaker 1: up earlier, Like if I get him up at seven

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Speaker 1: forty five, if he's not already a wake which sometimes

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Speaker 1: he was, but if he was awake seven forty five,

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Speaker 1: then I could do, you know, fifteen minutes with him,

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Speaker 1: get him kind of starting the day, and then so

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Speaker 1: when she came, I could transition to my office and

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Speaker 1: get the benefit of having her there for you know,

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Speaker 1: because people like, well, why are you doing that if

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Speaker 1: your kids are in school from nine to at least

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Speaker 1: nine to noon. But the problem is if she came

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Speaker 1: at noon, one of us couldn't really start work until

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Speaker 1: like nine fifteen, nine twenty, when we're back from the

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Speaker 1: preschool drop off.

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Speaker 3: And it's like, that's a lot of time that I'm

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Speaker 3: not you know, me or Michael, but probably me more often.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to give up that eight to nine

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Speaker 1: fifteen productive time, so I need to make sure I'm

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Speaker 1: using it, though.

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Speaker 2: I get it, especially if you're more likely to have

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Speaker 2: the end of the day truncated by kid related things.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to give it up at both ends.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that and we really, I mean, we can't

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Speaker 1: not have the full time coverage anyway just because we're

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Speaker 1: I mean, we both do stuff, like, we both have

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Speaker 1: things we have to be places, and so then it

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Speaker 1: just doesn't work to not have an adult there in

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Speaker 1: the morning or available. But I want to make sure

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Speaker 1: I'm using the time that I do have, So that's

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Speaker 1: my goal. We'll see how it plays out.

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Speaker 2: I love it. Well, we were going to talk about well,

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Speaker 2: I guess I'll give you my nanny logistics, and then

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Speaker 2: we're going to talk about lunches because that's always fun

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Speaker 2: and exciting. But we're not making any big changes in

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Speaker 2: that area. But compared to this summer, she definitely starts

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Speaker 2: significantly later and sometimes ends significantly later than the summer.

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Speaker 2: So generally Josh or I meet eighty percent of the time,

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Speaker 2: usually four mornings a week do school drop off, and

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Speaker 2: then that means that she can basically just get them

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Speaker 2: for pickup, which as I said, is pretty late. She

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Speaker 2: often comes in earlier than that, like at noon or

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Speaker 2: one to do some house related stuff or grocery shop

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Speaker 2: or things like that, but she doesn't have to start

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Speaker 2: her day early, which is great because as we'll get

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Speaker 2: to we have a lot of evening activities and sometimes

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Speaker 2: I do need help because two kids may have to

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Speaker 2: be in different places at once, or I don't want

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Speaker 2: to drag all three kids to the soccer field that's

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Speaker 2: everyone's least favorite activity, and so she doesn't mind kind

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Speaker 2: of shifting her day later, and that's going to work,

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Speaker 2: I think, really well for us this year.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the evening coverage with the activities is definitely

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Speaker 1: going to be something for us.

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Speaker 3: Not so much that any given night it's terrible, but

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Speaker 3: we do have stuff.

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Speaker 1: I mean, Alex is going to be swimming two nights

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Speaker 1: a week, you know, Sam has fencing. Jasper and I

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Speaker 1: are actually going to be singing in choir together. It appears,

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Speaker 1: you know, fingers crossed that's going to work out. But

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Speaker 1: he sang in the summer choir with me a few

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Speaker 1: times and liked it.

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Speaker 3: And it's, as we.

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Speaker 1: Joke about its, people always want a tenor, so we

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Speaker 1: have a willing tenor is a good thing. So hopefully

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Speaker 1: that's going to work out that we'll both be singing

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Speaker 1: together on Thursday nights. But then that means, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was not available, and now he's not going to

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Speaker 1: be available to stay with Henry or anything, so we

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Speaker 1: definitely will have to work out the coverage on that

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Speaker 1: as well. Oh but that's so worth it.

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Speaker 2: I love I love that that's going to be such

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Speaker 2: a fun I mean, assuming he continues to love it,

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Speaker 2: like what a great memory and experience.

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Speaker 1: No, I think it's good. I always have my designs.

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Speaker 1: There's a potential choir tour in the works for early

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Speaker 1: next summer, which I'm like, figures cross would be fun,

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Speaker 1: you know, an international tour, and I can go with

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Speaker 1: my kid as my roommate.

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Speaker 2: So that is awesome. Oh my gosh. I can't wait

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Speaker 2: to hear more details about that, and I hope it

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Speaker 2: goes really really well.

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Speaker 3: So school lunch, yes, So.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I was thinking that we were going

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Speaker 2: to make more use of the like catered lunch provided

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Speaker 2: not by the school but by like an outside company,

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Speaker 2: and then I went to buy it. It was like

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Speaker 2: nine fifty a kid for like a hot dog, and

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Speaker 2: I have three kids and then five days a week

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, that's one hundred and fifty dollars a

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Speaker 2: week and I still have to pack their snacks. And

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Speaker 2: I'd still have to remember to order their lunch, and

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Speaker 2: then some kids would want it, some kids wouldn't want it,

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, you know what, too much work for

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Speaker 2: that amount of money to justify doing it. So I

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Speaker 2: think we're going to continue to generally pack lunch. We've

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Speaker 2: been delving more into the warming things up and putting

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Speaker 2: it in the thermos because actually it's a nice way

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Speaker 2: to use leftovers and is easier than I kind of

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Speaker 2: expected it might be. And Annabeal makes her own lunch.

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Speaker 2: I have not pushed that upon camera, despite the fact

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Speaker 2: that he's passed the Laura vandercam age of lunch making.

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Speaker 2: But our nanny does help with that Tuesday through Friday,

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Speaker 2: so it's probably why there is no fire lint under

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Speaker 2: me to have him do it. It works.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, this is the upside of a public school

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Speaker 1: is that nobody's charging ten dollars for a lunch. I

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Speaker 1: think there would be an uproar over that actually get

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Speaker 1: free breakfast in our state now, So if the kids

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Speaker 1: show up early, they could just go to the cafeteria

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Speaker 1: and grab breakfast, which you know, we've often fed them

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Speaker 1: before they left too. But it's like a morning snack

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Speaker 1: for you know that they can even kind of have

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Speaker 1: with them or whatever.

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Speaker 3: But it's just a little benefit there.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, the older three order lunch, which is not

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Speaker 1: as pricey as that, although it's not you know, it

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Speaker 1: was free for like three years with COVID and then

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Speaker 1: that went on, but it's not as.

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Speaker 3: Cheap as I remember it being.

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Speaker 1: I mean, obviously inflation hits everywhere, but there's also just

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Speaker 1: a la carte items as well. And so I know,

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Speaker 1: for instance that Jasper likes to get the fruit cups,

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Speaker 1: you know, lunch, and I'm not gonna be like no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: don't get the fruit cup, you know. So anyway he

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Speaker 1: will have that, and I'm watching their balances go down

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Speaker 1: as the time goes on.

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Speaker 3: I wind up putting in money probably every six weeks.

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Speaker 1: Or so, which you know, I could do more money

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Speaker 1: and less frequently, but I'm always just like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Anyway, it's a thing. But Alex is gonna

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Speaker 1: pack his lunch. He tends to just it's mostly like

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Speaker 1: snacky stuff anyway, like a yogurt, a string cheese, crackers,

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Speaker 1: or some sort of bread and raisins. So it's pretty

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Speaker 1: easy and modular. And not that challenging to put together.

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Speaker 1: I think if he was doing like a tuna fish sandwich,

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Speaker 1: that would be more complicated or you know, soups. But

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Speaker 1: it's the same thing every day. It's pretty easy, so

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Speaker 1: he'll be doing that. And then of course Henry is

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Speaker 1: nine to twelve, so no lunch involved in that for

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Speaker 1: him yet.

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Speaker 2: Nice. Nice. And I've also found out recently that I

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Speaker 2: don't have to be peanup for you for any of

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Speaker 2: my kids, so I feel like that opens up a

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Speaker 2: whole window of really really easy lunch options.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Ruth was occasionally packing lunch or packing snack, but

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Speaker 1: I found I don't think they have a requirement. But

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Speaker 1: one of her good friends like has some allergy, so

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Speaker 1: she packs according to that, so very.

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Speaker 2: Go totally totally.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm all for respecting whenever there's rules, like, I

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Speaker 2: always follow them, but they're like, there's no allergies, so yeah, yeah, Well.

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Speaker 1: Why don't we take a quick break and then we'll

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Speaker 1: be back with a little bit more on how back

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Speaker 1: to school schedules are working for us and any advice

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Speaker 1: we have for anyone else, Not that you need to

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Speaker 1: listen to us on, but hey, we've been through it

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Speaker 1: a few times. All right, here, we'll take a quick

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Speaker 1: ad break. All right, Well, we are back with our

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Speaker 1: annual back to school special, which I realized, like we're

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Speaker 1: talking more about what we're doing, and you can take

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Speaker 1: it or leave it. I don't know if we have

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Speaker 1: great advice for back to school season, such as it is,

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Speaker 1: but Sarah, what's your thought on We know what your

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Speaker 1: thought is family dinners during the school week.

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Speaker 2: I don't have negative thoughts about family dinners or anything.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think they sound lovely. They just aren't

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Speaker 2: something we've been able to make a priority for us,

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Speaker 2: in part because of my husband's work schedule. So again,

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Speaker 2: it's just he is not going to reliably be home

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Speaker 2: at a dinner hour necessarily, and that unpredictability kind of

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Speaker 2: makes it feel a little bit like a waste. Like

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Speaker 2: if we're all planning to eat dinner together and then

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Speaker 2: it doesn't happen like forty to sixty percent of the

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Speaker 2: time or something, then it maybe you're just better off,

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Speaker 2: like not hoping for that specifically, But also, we have

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Speaker 2: a number of new sports commitments and things, and many

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Speaker 2: of those fall right around the traditional dinner hour, which,

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Speaker 2: as we talked about I think in a previous Q

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Speaker 2: and A. You can look at that in two different ways.

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Speaker 2: You can look at that as, oh man, how annoying

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Speaker 2: that's messing with my sacriscanc dinner hour, or you can

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Speaker 2: look at it as wow, for working parents who don't

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Speaker 2: have someone able to drive their kids, like, isn't it

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Speaker 2: great that there are things available that are a little

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Speaker 2: bit more inclusive. All that said, it is actually hard

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Speaker 2: for me, Like Cameron soccer starts at five point forty five,

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Speaker 2: but it's across town, so it's hard for me to

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Speaker 2: actually make the beginning of that. And then we've got

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Speaker 2: like dance two nights a week, gymnastics two nights a week,

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Speaker 2: and I thought we were gonna have a free night

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Speaker 2: on Tuesdays, but then that went away because one kid

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Speaker 2: switch from one other thing. So there's like something almost

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Speaker 2: every night, which means dinner is going to be quick

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Speaker 2: Monday through Thursday. But we enjoy family dinner on the

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Speaker 2: weekends almost always on Sunday, always on Saturday unless we're

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Speaker 2: going out either as a family or if Josh and

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Speaker 2: I are going by ourselves. And Fridays, I almost always

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Speaker 2: eat with the kids because he often works late, but

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Speaker 2: at least that's kind of like a halfway there kind

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Speaker 2: of a thing. So I don't know, it's not all

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Speaker 2: or nothing. Three days a week is a habit. So hey,

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Speaker 2: we almost have a habit of family dinners, even though

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Speaker 2: we don't do them Monday through.

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Speaker 1: Thursday, absolutely three times a week as a habit. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to be a little bit more organized about it.

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Speaker 1: I think there's getting all seven of us at the

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Speaker 1: table at the same time is not going to happen

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Speaker 1: every night by any means. But the thing is, you know,

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Speaker 1: five people is still a pretty big dinner. You know,

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Speaker 1: six people is still a pretty big dinner. So I

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Speaker 1: think from that perspective, it's gonna be a lot of

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Speaker 1: semi family dinners in the course of the weekend. So

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Speaker 1: we try to figure out what is the time that

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Speaker 1: the majority of people could sit down and eat something

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Speaker 1: and then whoever is not there or can get a

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Speaker 1: helping of it later or could have something.

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Speaker 3: Earlier, or whatever it is that worked for that.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to be a little bit more organized on

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Speaker 1: meal planning, just so we have the stuff and it's

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Speaker 1: not like this ordeal. What are we going to eat,

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Speaker 1: and the kids also ask, you know, it's one of

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Speaker 1: those things that they want to know what am I

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Speaker 1: going to eat tonight? And I guess they can deserve

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Speaker 1: to know that, So, I mean, it's often been something

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Speaker 1: like Monday is pasta, Tuesday is tacos or fajitos or

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Speaker 1: something like that. Wednesday we often have breakfast for dinner. Thursday,

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Speaker 1: our home manager cooks in the morning. Something that's often

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Speaker 1: the crock pot for us Friday is make your own pizza,

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Speaker 1: you know, and then the weekends we grill something or

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Speaker 1: make something a little bit more more complicated, or go

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Speaker 1: out or something like that.

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Speaker 3: But one of the reasons we did choose Alex's swim.

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Speaker 1: Time he's going to be six forty five to seven thirty,

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Speaker 1: is that it would allow us to eat at like

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Speaker 1: six on those nights, which usually even if the cad

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Speaker 1: have the older kids have activities, they'd like leave on

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Speaker 1: the four to thirty bus and be home for fifty

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Speaker 1: or even if it was you know, five thirty, somebody

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Speaker 1: could pick them up then five twenty whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: and be you know, we can eat it six o'clock

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Speaker 1: and then go for the evening round.

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Speaker 3: So just trying to sort of short this out.

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Speaker 1: That there is a window somewhere between five thirty and seven,

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Speaker 1: a window of at least twenty minutes where it might

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Speaker 1: be possible for a group of people to sit down together.

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Speaker 2: So totally makes sense. I love it, and I'm not

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Speaker 2: anti meal planning by any I love meal planning. I oh,

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Speaker 2: I cannot go into the week without knowing what we're

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Speaker 2: having for dinner. It's just that we don't necessarily attempt

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Speaker 2: to sit down and all eat it. At the same time,

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Speaker 2: it's more interest Well, I.

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Speaker 3: Mean, you can go into a week without knowing what

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Speaker 3: you're going to beat.

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Speaker 2: I prefer not to go into a week. Yes, and

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Speaker 2: I either I love using Preptish, which they are a

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Speaker 2: best laid planned sponsor, but I actually really it's like

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Speaker 2: a list where you basically have your shopping list and

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Speaker 2: your recipes and you can do a lot of the

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Speaker 2: prep either on Sundays or a lot of times our

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Speaker 2: nanny does it on Mondays, and that it's like done

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Speaker 2: for the week. It's not one of those things where

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Speaker 2: you're like making a bunch of freezer meals. It's more

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Speaker 2: like you put together a sauce on Sunday or Monday

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Speaker 2: that you're going to use for Monday and Wednesday's meal

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Speaker 2: and stuff like that. It's actually like put together very

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Speaker 2: efficiently and it's pretty healthy, so we use that a lot.

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Speaker 2: And then also our We've had some meal kit sponsors

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Speaker 2: that I've enjoyed using in the past on really busy

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Speaker 2: weeks as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, always a great idea. Yeah, I mean, we

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Speaker 1: often get questions from people who seem to be putting

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Speaker 1: a lot of time into cooking and even into thinking

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Speaker 1: about it as well, which we want to just say,

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Speaker 1: like that may be a source of a place where

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Speaker 1: you couldn't maybe limit some mental bandwidth and not have

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Speaker 1: terrible meals by any means, but just keeping it simple,

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Speaker 1: which is what we do. Like it's very very simple

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Speaker 1: to make spaghetti and sauce, right and like cut up

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Speaker 1: some fruit on the side, or tacos like you just

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Speaker 1: you know, brown meat and you're to put out the toppings.

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Speaker 1: Like these are all very very simple things to do,

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Speaker 1: and so the cooking process is like a twenty minute

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Speaker 1: sort of thing that night, which means it's not an

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Speaker 1: ordeal in the way that I feel like sometimes some

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Speaker 1: of the questions we're getting from people imply that cooking

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Speaker 1: for a family would need to be so something to

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Speaker 1: look into, and it's a topic we will continue to

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Speaker 1: revisit because we get that question so many times. But

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Speaker 1: all right, Sarah, let's talk about homework. Homework in the

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Speaker 1: back to school era. I mean, your kids are still

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Speaker 1: relatively young as this goes, So what are you doing

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Speaker 1: with this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Genevieve doesn't have homework. That's good. She's not at

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Speaker 2: one of those schools where they're giving kindergartener's homework, So yay,

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Speaker 2: one kid I don't have to think about at all

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Speaker 2: with the homework, so that is good. The other two,

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Speaker 2: So the school is really big on doing longer term

438
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 2: stuff with the idea that it helps kids to manage

439
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 2: their time. So they almost never have like a worksheet

440
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 2: designed for the next day, or like math problems assigned

441
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 2: for the next day. Cameron's class, which was an animal's class,

442
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 2: so I know the routine. It's always weekly, so they'll

443
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 2: have like a bunch of stuff that they get on Thursday,

444
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,159
Speaker 2: they have to turn it in the next Thursday, and

445
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 2: from when I'm gleaning from the middle school, it's more

446
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 2: like big projects unless that kind of like daily busy work.

447
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 2: Plus you know, now, I feel like middle schools when

448
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 2: you have to when most people learn, not all people,

449
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 2: but that like, oh, I can study for a test

450
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 2: and that will make a difference. Annabel didn't have grades

451
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,040
Speaker 2: for the last couple of years. They don't have them

452
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 2: in emale elementary school what they do in the middle school.

453
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 2: And as silly as it is, like, I do feel

454
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,120
Speaker 2: like she probably is going to care a little bit,

455
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 2: so it'll be, you know, up to her to kind

456
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,159
Speaker 2: of develop habits that support performing at the level that

457
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 2: she wants to. I don't want to sit over my

458
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,879
Speaker 2: kids and help with homework. They wish that I would

459
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,360
Speaker 2: do this. They request this, especially one of them. I'm

460
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 2: not going to specify, but I do feel like I

461
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 2: want to help them plan their homework so that especially

462
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 2: for the family's benefit, so that we don't have like

463
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 2: a panicked child on Wednesday night that hasn't started anything,

464
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 2: that's having a total freak out. I mean, I guess

465
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 2: the truth is I could let that happen a couple

466
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 2: times and then have them not do their homework and

467
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: get yelled out by their teacher, and maybe they would

468
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: figure it out. But I think it's also like worth

469
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 2: to be like, here's a whiteboard, why don't you think

470
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 2: about writing stuff down and give them at least some

471
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 2: tools to play with to maybe help them budget their time,

472
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 2: since it's something that I feel very passionate about. And

473
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 2: they can take those tools or leave them, and so yeah,

474
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: I guess I see my role more as like providing

475
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 2: tools to help them manage their time and resources, not

476
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,119
Speaker 2: stand over them while they do it. And I don't

477
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 2: really plan on I mean I never did with Annabel.

478
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 2: I never checked what she was doing, So I don't

479
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 2: really want to start unless I hear that there's a

480
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 2: problem from a teacher.

481
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that.

482
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 1: I mean, because the homework, again, it's for them. It's

483
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 1: not like we already did eighth grade.

484
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 3: We made it through. It's not about whether we can

485
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 3: do it. The goal is always that the child.

486
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 1: Wants to be successful in these classes, and I think

487
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 1: they have to develop the motivation to get there. So

488
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 1: I'll occasionally ask one particular child like do you have

489
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 1: any homework? But it turns out like a lot of

490
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: times they've done stuff in class, like they have extra

491
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 1: time or you know, a study hall or something, and

492
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: some people are very motivated by the idea of not

493
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: taking work home. Eventually it becomes impossible, and I think

494
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 1: people go through a period of adjustment there where they

495
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 1: realize that it is you're going to have to take

496
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:39,919
Speaker 1: work home as a successful student in hard classes. But

497
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: they have to kind of get their heads around that too,

498
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: and you, as a parent can sort of suggest the

499
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 1: idea that, oh, well, you know, sometimes people find it

500
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 1: helpful to spend a little bit of time reviewing things

501
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: before major quizzes. But eventually they kind of figure that

502
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: out on their own if they care and if they're

503
00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:02,199
Speaker 1: around other children who are motivated too. But yeah, so

504
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 1: I'm I'm always trying to be as hands off as possible.

505
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: Alex gets homework and he needs a little bit more

506
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 1: guidance to do it, but I'm hoping that this year

507
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 1: that's less the case. I think we're going to try

508
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 1: and work out something where he remembered or has a

509
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: time where he commits to doing it, and then all

510
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 1: I'll do is just ask if you've done it, because yeah,

511
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:25,239
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the teachers also, it's kind of

512
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,639
Speaker 1: between them and their teachers, and their teachers can express

513
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: disappointment in them too, like, Oh, it's interesting because I know,

514
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: seemed like such a curious, smart kid and you're not

515
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 1: turning in your homework.

516
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 3: I wonder what's up with that?

517
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 1: And you know, then maybe that doesn't feel so good

518
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 1: and that's something that you want to be supportive, but

519
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 1: you also want them to develop the skills.

520
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 3: I don't know, That's just my take on it.

521
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,679
Speaker 2: I'm also very pro outside tutor, which is something I

522
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 2: didn't necessarily know and I haven't done tons of this

523
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 2: with my kids, but I find it as a parent,

524
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 2: helping them with things can be really fraud and not

525
00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 2: necessarily the best for relationships. And so if I I

526
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: know what is the kids struggling in a particular area,

527
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 2: I have like found an expert. And honestly, if you

528
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 2: find someone that is like engaging, then they don't even

529
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 2: hate it and it preserves that portion of the relationship.

530
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 2: So if you have a kid that's like struggling to

531
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 2: like write out a sentence without having a fit, then

532
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 2: you may want to seek outside assistance.

533
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

534
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 1: Well, even if they're I mean, we probably many of

535
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: our listeners are in competitive schools, districts, et cetera. Even

536
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 1: if your kid is pretty good at a topic, you

537
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: may wind up giving them a little boost, particularly as

538
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 1: we get toward For any of our listeners who are

539
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 1: not like using calculus on a daily basis, I'm sure

540
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: that's not anyone, right, You're all using calculus on a

541
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 1: daily but if you're not, for instance, you may find

542
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: it increasingly difficult to help your children, even if they

543
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 1: did have questions, which you know, you always say like, okay,

544
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: well there's resources out there. You go to con Academy,

545
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 1: you go to whatever else, and you know, watch a

546
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: video of them explaining the topic. But a tutor can

547
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 1: help with as well as somebody who is, for instance,

548
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: a former math teacher and is doing this on the

549
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 1: side might be helpful.

550
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm much more pro tutor as I think

551
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: I thought I was going to be with much younger kids.

552
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So let's talk about a m routines because

553
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: this is always a source of stress for people, I

554
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: think with getting back to school.

555
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 3: You know, I know many of our listeners still have

556
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 3: kids in daycare.

557
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 1: Over the summer, they have had camps, so it's not

558
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 1: like you're completely out of the routine of getting people

559
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 1: out the door in the morning. But there may be

560
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 1: a little bit more rigor to it on school mornings.

561
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: So what have you been experimenting with this year, Sarah?

562
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 2: I today went really badly, So I'm like, I can't

563
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 2: tell anyone anything except that it's okay if this is

564
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 2: a work in progress. It actually went so badly that,

565
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 2: like I had a whole like talking to to the

566
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 2: kids on the way to school. I did not play

567
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 2: the Barbie soundtrack they requested. Instead, we talked about the

568
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 2: logistics of the morning and how it could have gone better.

569
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 2: But we did talk about but in seat time, which

570
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 2: I got that from the mom hour. They actually called

571
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 2: it ais with a different word, but we're very clean podcast,

572
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:07,400
Speaker 2: so we're not going to use that word.

573
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 3: Yes we are.

574
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 2: So we did talk about that, so they know the

575
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 2: kind of goal time that I want them in the

576
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: car ready to go. Today they sort of almost made it,

577
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 2: but not without a lot of more help than I

578
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: feel like they should need maybe, so we're going to

579
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 2: keep working on it. I've kind of talked to them

580
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: about like working backwards because I often get back from

581
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 2: running and I don't want to micromanage every second from

582
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 2: the wake up to the out the door. Josh is

583
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 2: going to I think help in some more specific ways.

584
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's a work in progress. The kids have

585
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 2: to get up around six forty six forty five in

586
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 2: order for it to get smoothly, so that we can

587
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 2: have butt in seat time at seven thirty five, which

588
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 2: is necessary because, by the way, since it's on the

589
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 2: way to work, like, my drop off with them affects

590
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 2: my arrival at work time, and I don't like getting

591
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 2: there when patients are already in the room, like it's

592
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 2: not good. So I have a very vested interest in

593
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 2: keeping things running smoothly in the morning. And so it's

594
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 2: a work in progress and we will I think it

595
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 2: will get better.

596
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well, you know, it's always a learning process

597
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 1: the first few weeks, getting people to understand the importance

598
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 1: of it. We have so many button seat times in

599
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 1: the course of our morning just because of the number

600
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 1: of different schools and start times and up that I just.

601
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 3: I assume this year will be relatively similar.

602
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 1: Probably I will set my alarm at six point thirty,

603
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 1: make sure Jasper is up, then I go shower. The

604
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 1: first run leaves at seven o'clock, so that's either Jasper

605
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:45,080
Speaker 1: and Michael or it's Jasper and Sam and Michael. If

606
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: on the jazz band mornings, they drop Jasper off right

607
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 1: around you know, seven to ten, then bring Sam over

608
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 1: to the middle school for a seven twenty drop off

609
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: for his rehearsal, and then Mike either comes home or

610
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: goes straight to.

611
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,080
Speaker 3: Work whatever the need is.

612
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: He often will try to then make a like eight

613
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 1: ten train or something if he's going somewhere. I get

614
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: Ruth up at seven and she gets ready to take

615
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: the bus. If Sam's home on that morning, he'll take

616
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: the bus too. They walk down the hill or if

617
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: it's rainial, drive them in the van and just down

618
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: the bottom of the hill from our driveway basically, and

619
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: then they get on the bus probably like seven thirty five,

620
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: seven forty I think is the time.

621
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 3: We'll have to see what that is this year. Then

622
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 3: it's back, you know, in the house.

623
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: I can either have the quiet time or this year,

624
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to wake Henry up so he's good to

625
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: go and has had his mommy time so that I

626
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: can get started working at eight.

627
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 3: But they leave around eight thirty five eight forty.

628
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: For Alex can be dropped off after eight forty eight

629
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: forty five, I think for the elementary school and Henry's,

630
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 1: you know, somewhere around eight fifty to nine nine o'clock

631
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 1: for the preschool.

632
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 2: So yeah, yours is so there are just a lot

633
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 2: of moving parts. I feel like I'd have to write

634
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 2: it all and it sounds like you got it.

635
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, the problem is if it was like I mean,

636
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: because occasionally both my husband and I have had to

637
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: do the whole morning on our own for one reason

638
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 1: or another, and it's a long time. You get up

639
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: at six point thirty, you're coming home from the last

640
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 1: drop off at like nine fifteen. It's like you put

641
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: in a whole shift and you haven't done anything out

642
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: of to get people out the door. It's really kind

643
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: of exhausting, and you can do it because what we

644
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: then do, actually we shift it. If one person is

645
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 1: home alone Ruth does not take the bus then because

646
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 1: we leave her with the little kids to drive the

647
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: other two, or Sam is on the bus that morning,

648
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 1: then it's okay because we just drives and leave Sam

649
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: and Ruth, but the little kids then they can take

650
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: the bus. But if not, you know, she stays home

651
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 1: until the other person back and then we need to

652
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 1: get her to school. So it's just a lot. It's

653
00:30:55,720 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 1: more driving, but in order not to be neglectful of

654
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 1: small children. Obviously that doesn't work. But yeah, you can

655
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 1: do it as one adult, but it's hard.

656
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 2: Wow. Yes, no, I'm intimidy. I mean if you ever

657
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 2: had to completely outsource that, like if both of you

658
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 2: were away, you'd have to draw like out like a

659
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 2: well we have.

660
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: There have been mornings where we've both been gone and yes,

661
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: that's what we do that. Everyone knows the routine, like,

662
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 1: there have been times when I've done it solo, Michael's

663
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: done it solo, or Nanny's done at solo. But it

664
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: kind of stakes, which is why we all we try

665
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: to not make that happen too often.

666
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 2: Got it? Team effort makes sense. Screens, Yes, our favorite topic.

667
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 2: Just kidding, not really, we're visiting this again. So what's

668
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 2: your timeline for this? I don't have a huge one.

669
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 2: I mean, I kind of don't want the kids. They

670
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 2: don't have a lot of time for screens during the

671
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 2: week once all the sports and activities start, so that's good,

672
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 2: But I don't know, I'm kind of I actually haven't

673
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 2: made up my mind entirely because part of me just

674
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 2: feels like it would be simple, or to just be like,

675
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: other than Annabel having some social screen time because Camera

676
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 2: doesn't seem to care about that yet, to just be

677
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 2: like no screens until Friday, like because I don't know,

678
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 2: like the constant at like can I have it? Can

679
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 2: I not have it? Is your homework done well? That

680
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 2: gets really nebulous when your homework is like on a

681
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: week cycle or you have big projects, Like part of

682
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 2: me just wants to draw some kind of hardline. I

683
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 2: know I want them off of all screens by seven thirty,

684
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 2: and I know I want them to have completed some

685
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 2: whatever homework they had planned for, plus potentially like practice

686
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 2: piano and like do some other things before they get

687
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 2: on them. But I have it entirely decided how I

688
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: want things to look other than I do want Annabel

689
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 2: to be able to participate socially with friends and stuff

690
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 2: like that. So I'm fine to concede that. Now her

691
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 2: school has a hard line no cell phone policy, and

692
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 2: apparently it is very much enforced. I actually didn't know that,

693
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: and I'm really excited about it, and it also makes

694
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 2: me feel better about the fact she was self conscious

695
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 2: about having a Nokia flip phone, which is what we

696
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 2: gave her. But it doesn't really matter because honestly, everybody's

697
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 2: phones are like basically in their bag and they're only

698
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 2: to be used like in an emergency or something, and

699
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 2: if they're seen out at any other time, they just

700
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 2: get taken away. So yeah, I'm really glad about that

701
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 2: part because I think in prior years they allowed them

702
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: at certain break periods, but then the head of the

703
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 2: school decided that wasn't in their best interests. So pretty

704
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 2: screen free at school other than obviously they're chromebook and

705
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 2: doing work and stuff.

706
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been sort of. The high school is definitely not.

707
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,479
Speaker 1: I mean I think most teachers are like not in class,

708
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: but you can have it during like your free period

709
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 1: or your lunch or whatever, because I'll get texts in

710
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: the middle of the day. The middle school, I think

711
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 1: it is in your backpack except for bus and whatever

712
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: other time like that, or if there's an emergency you

713
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,959
Speaker 1: have to text your mom about something. But yeah, so

714
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 1: we are probably going to have our same rule as

715
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: last year, which is that everyone gives me their devices

716
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,719
Speaker 1: or goes and puts them, docks them, and mikel in

717
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: my room at nine and lights out as at ten.

718
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 1: This is the older four kids, by the way, that

719
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: they have a screen free hour then from nine to ten,

720
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: which I know Josper is still doing homework at that point.

721
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,800
Speaker 1: I think the others are mostly going to be reading

722
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: or doing little hobby stuff in their rooms. So yeah,

723
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 1: that's the plan. And then obviously you can't. I mean

724
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: in the morning. We've gone back and forth of this,

725
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: like most of the time they don't have time for

726
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 1: it because they're trying to get out the door. Alex

727
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 1: is sometimes motivated, like he can have it for a

728
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 1: while if he gets everything done. But the problem is

729
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 1: then sometimes he wants to wake up early, guess. So

730
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: we've had alarms go off at early moments in the

731
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: that he's set because he wants to get.

732
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 2: Up to you.

733
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 3: So we have to kind of thread that needle a

734
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 3: little bit.

735
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 1: Generally, my thought is you have to do your homework,

736
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 1: you're doing your activities, you've got school. There's just not

737
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 1: that much time, and so I don't feel like police it.

738
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: Other than that, we'll figure out.

739
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 3: With Alex.

740
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: We took away the iPad in the spring because it

741
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: just wasn't working.

742
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,359
Speaker 3: He wasn't able to handle it.

743
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 1: But we got it back in the summer, just because

744
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 1: there's a lot more time and like we're traveling and

745
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 1: all that. I think if he does things cooperatively and

746
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 1: there's no trouble, then maybe he can have it back

747
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:21,399
Speaker 1: in the fall.

748
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 3: But we'll see, because I don't know.

749
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: I was listening to him watching some YouTube shorts or

750
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 1: whatever on the couch and something came out of there

751
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 1: that was just like nasty, and I was like, whoa,

752
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: I you know, if you don't watch this again, we're

753
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: watching other things. You watch shows, But it's like impossible

754
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: to police that entirely, and so I'm yeah, I don't know.

755
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,399
Speaker 3: Have to figure out how to manage that one.

756
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,400
Speaker 2: It's tough. And I'll say one of our challenges is

757
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 2: that the kid who probably has the most time for

758
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: screens is Genevieve. But like, it doesn't quite sit right

759
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: with me to have like a five year old spending

760
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 2: like four hours a day while her siblings go to

761
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,800
Speaker 2: activities on screen. So that's why I just feel like

762
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:57,879
Speaker 2: I need to figure something out.

763
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 1: But well, it she'll probably be more reading into during

764
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,800
Speaker 1: the year, though at some point that might develop a

765
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: little bit more.

766
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 3: Let's hope.

767
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 1: I'm sure yeah, it'll happen. It'll happen in time. And

768
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 1: then what times your kids go to bed? I just

769
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: said mine are in their rooms at nine, bedtime at ten,

770
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: which if anyone wants to add it up, it works

771
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: with the morning start.

772
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 2: If your kids start a lot later than my mind

773
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 2: have to be really honestly, if they could be up

774
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 2: at six thirty, it would be better.

775
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 3: Right now.

776
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 2: Genevieve, I kind of start putting her to bed at

777
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 2: like eight, and then usually she goes to bed by

778
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: eight thirty. The big kids, I actually don't really police that.

779
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 2: I just sort of like lie with them for a

780
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 2: little bit, talk to them, and then a lot of

781
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,879
Speaker 2: times just like leave them to read. So I don't

782
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 2: actually know exactly when they turn their lives off. They

783
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: don't have devices at that point, so it's whenever they're tired,

784
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 2: probably nine, nine thirty something like that. I will say again,

785
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 2: it's we just started the school year, but it's been

786
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 2: a struggle getting them out of bed, so I may

787
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 2: have to kind of work with them to work backwards,

788
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 2: to be like, what's the right time so that when

789
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 2: it's morning, it's not like I have to like blow

790
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,439
Speaker 2: a trumpetty times my scream that we have to leave

791
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,360
Speaker 2: to get everyone awake. And that's all about going to bed,

792
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 2: because if you've gotten enough sleep, you're probably going to

793
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 2: be easier to rouse. Although I guess as they get

794
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 2: older that clock gets it gets more challenged.

795
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:15,320
Speaker 3: It's a teenager think it's.

796
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 1: Hard to get people up in the morning, regardless of

797
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:18,959
Speaker 1: how much sleep they've had. I mean, I can't see

798
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 1: that they are nights that they've been to bed at

799
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 1: like a reasonable time, and they're still sleeping until ten

800
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: if you let them.

801
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 3: I don't know.

802
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 2: So interesting, Yeah, I believe it. I fully believe that biology.

803
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then finally our own back to school energy.

804
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: How are you celebrating the start of the school of year, Sarah.

805
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 2: I just feel like kind of like excited to do

806
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 2: all the things, excited to get the sports schedule, like

807
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,240
Speaker 2: everything that's I know, going to feel like a burden

808
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 2: later on, is like yay doing this, doing that, Oh,

809
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: soccer meet and greet. Like I already scheduled our first

810
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 2: book club, and I invited my whole running club. Well

811
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 2: it's not a huge running club, it's small over for dinner.

812
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 2: Because I was like, I feel like we need to

813
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 2: do something, so I definitely have some of that. I

814
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 2: also already kind of feel tired and overwhel so I

815
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 2: don't know, like maybe this is a very fleeting, fleeting

816
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 2: kind of a feeling. And I'm also marathon training in

817
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 2: really hot weather and that's making me kind of tired.

818
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 2: So I don't know. We'll see how I can channel

819
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 2: my energy properly.

820
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

821
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 1: Well, here's something i'd throw out as an idea for

822
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: people who are hoping to capture some of that back

823
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: to school energy is like, go to the library, not

824
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: necessarily with your kids. I mean, you can go with

825
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: your kids if you want and just get a bunch

826
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: of random books on random topics and enjoy flipping through them.

827
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,320
Speaker 3: You know, it's like the Ultimate course catalog.

828
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: Even if your local branch is not that huge, like

829
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 1: the probably the nonfiction section of randomness is large, because

830
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: that's certainly the case with our tiny, little local library.

831
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: I have been reading all sorts of random stuff because

832
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: it's free, right. So It's like I read a book

833
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: on Virginia Wolf's Garden. It was like a coffee table

834
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 1: book of like the current. You know, they preserved the

835
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: house and gardens as a historic site, but then they

836
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,919
Speaker 1: also historically about what was there because her her very

837
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: close friend Vita Sackville West, was a very famous gardener

838
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 1: as well, so there was a lot of influence there.

839
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 3: And Leonard Wolfe, her husband, was also a major gardener,

840
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 3: so that was interesting. I've been reading.

841
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: I read a book about like the science of metabolism.

842
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:26,240
Speaker 1: I read Oh gosh, I'm reading a book about trees,

843
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 1: and the sounds like the acoustics of this of trees,

844
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: you know, just totally totally random. That looks interesting in

845
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 1: the library. So if you were the sort of person

846
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 1: who was enjoying looking at all the options in a

847
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 1: course catalog like at your university, I would throw that

848
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:44,240
Speaker 1: out there as an idea.

849
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: I feel like this is your pattern, Like when your

850
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 2: kids get past three, all of a sudden, you're like

851
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 2: reading like ten times more than you were before. That's awesome.

852
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:55,399
Speaker 3: I love it. Oh well, I can see it from

853
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 3: time logs too.

854
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: You know, women with children over the age of two

855
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: like spend statistic significantly more time on things like reading

856
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: than when they're under two.

857
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 3: So yes, own it all right.

858
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 1: So our question for the week this was sent into Sarah,

859
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: but we can both answer it because this person give

860
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:14,240
Speaker 1: a shout out by the way to best laid Plans,

861
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 1: which everyone should be listening to if you listen to

862
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 1: this podcast. She says, you've mentioned you try to spend

863
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: one on one time with each of your kids, like

864
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: mommy days. Sometimes your husband also does activities one on

865
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,240
Speaker 1: one with the kids as well. How do you recommend

866
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 1: organizing one on one time when you have multiple kids

867
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 1: with each parent, making sure they have similar amounts of

868
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: time so that it is fair, and working this into

869
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 1: an already busy schedule. I can tell this person like

870
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 1: really listens to you, Sarah, I mean, and that they're

871
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,279
Speaker 1: really into like the planning aspect of it.

872
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 3: I'm like, WHOA, that sounds like a lot of planning.

873
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 2: To make this a lot of planning, I mean my

874
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 2: method of doing it, And I'm not even like, I mean,

875
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 2: there are so many ways you could do this, and

876
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: you could do it on some kind of like frequency

877
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 2: or cadence. I think I tried that once. It was

878
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 2: like too much, but I just tryver yearly and I

879
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 2: generally do it in the summer because they're more likely

880
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 2: to be free. There's some weeks without camp and stuff

881
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 2: like that, and I literally will just block off like

882
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 2: days in my planner. Once I did it like all

883
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: in one week, that was like a mistake. I was like,

884
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 2: I cannot do three days in a row of like

885
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 2: all kid led activities. This past year I did like

886
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 2: three tuesdays in a row, which also wasn't the best

887
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 2: because like every time I do that, I lose my

888
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 2: work day for podcasting and stuff, and I get squeezed

889
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 2: and then I'm like stressed. So I think I'll keep

890
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 2: experimenting with cadences, maybe with like one day a month

891
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 2: for each kid that might be the winner. But I

892
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,320
Speaker 2: literally do have to block off that time months in

893
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 2: advance because stuff will fill it. I'll put a hair

894
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 2: appointment or what you know, I'll put a podcast interview.

895
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 2: Like stuff is gonna fill it, So I block it out.

896
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 2: And then as we get closer to the dates, I

897
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 2: let the kids kind of just like decide what they

898
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 2: want to do, and we keep it really simple, like

899
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: I know Laura's de like theme parks and stuff, but

900
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,359
Speaker 2: generally we're like we'll go to them all. I watch

901
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 2: a movie, get ice cream, like, go to Target, and

902
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 2: they enjoy just having that attention bestowed upon themselves. You

903
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 2: reference my husband, and yes, he's done a couple of

904
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 2: like one on one type trips with Cameron, in particular

905
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 2: going snowboarding, and I will say, like, maybe that's not fair,

906
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 2: although I think I took both girls on different occasions

907
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 2: to North Carolina on a one to one trips and

908
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 2: maybe it is fair. But it's more about like what

909
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 2: each kid needs or what makes sense at a given moment,

910
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 2: and I worry more about like, is each kid getting

911
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 2: the time that they need versus being tit for tat

912
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 2: totally fair. It's impossible to be totally fair when it

913
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 2: comes to things like even presence or attention. You know,

914
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 2: you just can't add up like that in your life.

915
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 2: So I don't stress about that too much. So yeah,

916
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,439
Speaker 2: that's kind of how I've done it, and I do

917
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 2: feel like they enjoy it, they look forward to it,

918
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 2: and it does take a lot of planning or just

919
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 2: like the protection of that time.

920
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the protection of the time is the

921
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 3: hardest part of it. I started out.

922
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: Saying like, oh, maybe I'll do mommy days with all

923
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 1: five in the course of the summer, and then realize

924
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 1: like we could split this, and especially like by using weekends,

925
00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 1: so my husband wound up doing Daddy days with the

926
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: two younger kids. One was more truly planned, like they

927
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: chose a date and then my husband looked into stuff

928
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: that he thought they would enjoy. They wound up doing

929
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: this mountain biking and fishing extravaganza up in the Poconos.

930
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: And then for Henry what wound up happening is he

931
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 1: was like the only one who really wanted to go

932
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 1: to this fair, like the York State Fair or whatever

933
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 1: it is.

934
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 3: So he and Michael went for the day and they

935
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 3: they had a plast.

936
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 1: I mean, just Henry rode like every single kiddie ride

937
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 1: and they looked at animals and all that. So that

938
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 1: was fun for Henry at least, I hopefully my husband

939
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 1: was okay with it. I wound up taking the older three,

940
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 1: and this is really more dictated by their interests, and

941
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 1: sometimes kids ask for trips over Christmas for interest and since,

942
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 1: and that winds up being something that can only be

943
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 1: executed over the summer. Jasper's always up for a trip

944
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 1: to New York. The bar has kind of been raised

945
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 1: because we've been doing like overnight trips, but this summer

946
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 1: I wound up taking Sam to Bar Harbor for a

947
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 1: couple of days. That was his Christmas present, but we

948
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: wound up saying that kind of your your mommy day.

949
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: Jasper went to New York City overnight with me and

950
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: we did you know, stuff there. Then Ruth wanted to

951
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 1: get her ears pierced, and so we turned that into

952
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 1: a bit of a mommy day. We went out for lunch,

953
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: we got our ears praised, we did some shopping, so

954
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: that was it was kind of not as big a

955
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 1: production as some of the others, but it still had

956
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 1: to be scheduled with the appointment with the ears and

957
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 1: all that.

958
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 3: So you know, that's how we do it.

959
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: But I think on a sort of more day to

960
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 1: day kind of basis, I will often audit myself kind

961
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: of at the end of the day and say, did

962
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,799
Speaker 1: I spend some time with each of the kids? And

963
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 1: usually the answer is yes, either because I've driven them somewhere,

964
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 1: or we had a chat about something before bed, or

965
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: I sat with them doing something, you know, but trying

966
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 1: to figure this out, like am I spending time? And

967
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: if I feel like one particular kid did not get

968
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: some time, I might make a point of being in

969
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 1: their room a little bit longer at night, like I

970
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 1: might go in a little bit earlier so I have

971
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 1: time to chat with them or go to them first,

972
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 1: so I a little bit longer of a time.

973
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's what we do.

974
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 2: Awesome love of the week, All right.

975
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:09,320
Speaker 3: Do you have one?

976
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 2: Sure? So we talked about school supplies and getting them

977
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 2: for adults. So I decided and Annabel have been really

978
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:19,800
Speaker 2: pushing for a jet pens order, so we did a celebratory,

979
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 2: totally unnecessary jet Pens order. And in particular my I

980
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 2: think a great school supply for someone just exploring Japanese

981
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 2: stationary are Cocuyo campus notebooks. They are pretty inexpensive, they're thin,

982
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,280
Speaker 2: you could use them for like taking notes or studying,

983
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 2: and Annabel had been wanting a set of them for

984
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 2: like forever, and they came and they're in these cute

985
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 2: pastel colors, so we're sharing them. They come in like

986
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 2: sets of five, so nice. Just my love of the week.

987
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:50,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, since we're still recording this, and what's summer

988
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 1: for me? We are at the beach and I love

989
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 1: being at the beach. It's really just kind of my

990
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 1: happy place. I love to see the ocean, in particular,

991
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 1: the light on the waves yesterday at about five pm.

992
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 1: We were out on the beach then and as the

993
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 1: sun's going down, so it's not so hot, and it

994
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,760
Speaker 1: kind of has this slanted light, particularly in late summer,

995
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,879
Speaker 1: it's just so beautiful and you know, so, I guess

996
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 1: that's my love of the week is light on water

997
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 1: and sand in August.

998
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:22,280
Speaker 3: Makes me happy that it's still summer here.

999
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, we're going back to school soon, so this

1000
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: has been our best of Both Worlds annual back to

1001
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: school extravaganza. I'm sure we'll update on how things are

1002
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 1: going soon enough, but in the meantime, we'll be back

1003
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 1: next week with more on making work in life fit together.

1004
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the

1005
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 2: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,

1006
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 2: and you.

1007
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:51,359
Speaker 4: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This

1008
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 4: has been the best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please join

1009
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 4: us next time for more on making work and life

1010
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 4: work together.

1011
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: A