Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, friend.
Speaker 3: Or a terrible throffle, guess what You've got decisions?
Speaker 4: All right, y'all, we are back again giving you decisions,
Speaker 4: because you've got decisions. If you make If you guys
Speaker 4: want to have Weezy and I answer your questions, make
Speaker 4: sure you shoot us over and email Hyne Decisions pod
Speaker 4: at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Now, this advice may be good or it may not be,
Speaker 1: but we're gonna give it to you.
Speaker 4: Either way, we're gonna we gonna listen. We are giving
Speaker 4: you what we got. That's it, and it's bad. I'm
Speaker 4: just a podcaster, that's it. Do not take this as
Speaker 4: what is it when your therapist give you advice that
Speaker 4: all of that, Like, this is not healthcare advice or what.
Speaker 1: I don't fuck it?
Speaker 2: What's this bitch one?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 4: So y'all, this week we are talking about the possibility
Speaker 4: of outgrowing relationships.
Speaker 1: Uh so, here we go.
Speaker 4: Question is have I outgrown my relationship? Hey, Ma, Andy
Speaker 4: and Weezy, I love you guys so much, but I
Speaker 4: boom So I've been with my boyfriend since I was
Speaker 4: eighteen and I really love him, but lately I feel
Speaker 4: like I'm outgrowing the relationship.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six now and finding that I.
Speaker 4: Want more from life to go out, explore and build
Speaker 4: something meaningful together. While he's kind, loyal, debatable and loves
Speaker 4: me deeply, he lacks motivation and often puts things off,
Speaker 4: like plans to go to the gym or doing activities
Speaker 4: together when I ask. Most of our time together has
Speaker 4: been spent smoking and talking with very few dates since
Speaker 4: he spends a lot of his money on weed, and honestly,
Speaker 4: I'm over smoking too. It is always last when we're together,
Speaker 4: and I feel like we are so comfortable together and
Speaker 4: have turned into family. But honestly, I realize it's been
Speaker 4: years and years of the same routine with him. Even
Speaker 4: the sex has faded away sort of. He gets frustrated
Speaker 4: when we go a while without sex. He tries to
Speaker 4: be chill about it and asks if it's him, but
Speaker 4: I never know what to really say. But I feel
Speaker 4: like I'm never in the mood because there's not much happening. Then,
Speaker 4: when I recommend stuff for us to do, he agrees
Speaker 4: and says we will, but we rarely do. Sometimes I
Speaker 4: feel like I'm being difficult, but I don't know. I
Speaker 4: asked him if he's went and had sex with anyone else,
Speaker 4: and he admitted that he did. This actually didn't make
Speaker 4: me mad because I know it's just because we haven't
Speaker 4: been having sex. But should this be my time to exit?
Speaker 4: I'm in a dilemma because I really do love him.
Speaker 4: He feels like family. Recently, I reconnected with an old
Speaker 4: friend who has qualities I wish my boyfriend had. He's responsible,
Speaker 4: driven and active. Being around him makes me realize what
Speaker 4: I might be missing out on. He's also about to
Speaker 4: be moving back out where I live, and I honestly
Speaker 4: want to get into his skin so badly. I feel
Speaker 4: guilty for wanting more because I know my boyfriend is
Speaker 4: committed and loves me, bitch. He also is all right,
Speaker 4: but part of me wonders if it's time to move on.
Speaker 4: How should I handle this conversation with my boyfriend? And
Speaker 4: do you think it's right to step out?
Speaker 1: Yes? I love y'all. Thank y'all in advance.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of things about this I want you
Speaker 3: to start, but what I would like to say is
Speaker 3: you're confused, but you type that whole thing up, girl,
Speaker 3: And what I will say is, if you're at the
Speaker 3: point where your paragraphs into a podcast, there's some bitches
Speaker 3: to talk about sex.
Speaker 2: But you know you've far gone, you noticed a relationship.
Speaker 3: Far gone, and you also know that like when the
Speaker 3: doubt is that heavy, you're really just writing this because
Speaker 3: you just want us to tell you it's okay to go,
Speaker 3: But go ahead.
Speaker 1: No, I believe that too. I think it's interesting.
Speaker 4: Saying that he's a great boyfriend but also cheated on you,
Speaker 4: whether he admitted to it or not, Like he has
Speaker 4: already stepped out, so to me, a few things can
Speaker 4: happen here, right, Like I think on decisions, decisions, the
Speaker 4: conversation is leaning more into what a non traditional relationship
Speaker 4: could look like. So the fact that he stepped out
Speaker 4: and it didn't even make you upset because you weren't
Speaker 4: giving him sex, but you have the desire to have
Speaker 4: sex with someone else. Of course, I'm always going to say,
Speaker 4: start there, see how you can navigate a relationship where
Speaker 4: maybe you both are open to getting the things you
Speaker 4: want from someone else, knowing.
Speaker 1: That you guys still have love for each other. Right.
Speaker 4: Secondly, however, you wanting to do more and him being
Speaker 4: in the same space he was probably in when y'all
Speaker 4: met at eighteen. You guys have been together for eight
Speaker 4: years since you were eighteen, you're now twenty six. I
Speaker 4: think that it's okay to notice that you're I wouldn't
Speaker 4: say outgrowing, but changing. Change is okay, and change is
Speaker 4: expected in a relationship. So I think that's the first
Speaker 4: thing you should have a conversation with your boyfriend about.
Speaker 1: Hey, I want to do these things. I bring them up,
Speaker 1: we don't do them. Hey, I know.
Speaker 4: You like getting high, I don't really like smoking anymore,
Speaker 4: And I think you bring up the things that you
Speaker 4: do enjoy doing to see if you and him can
Speaker 4: enjoy these new things together.
Speaker 1: I don't think that you should leave him, don't.
Speaker 4: I will never tell you to cheat, but I think
Speaker 4: you have to have a real conversation with him about
Speaker 4: how the relationship could maybe mold into looking differently, especially
Speaker 4: if you're not mad that he stepped out and he
Speaker 4: admitted it like as if he was expecting you not
Speaker 4: to be mad.
Speaker 1: So ID lean that way first, and.
Speaker 4: Then maybe find someone else that you could have that
Speaker 4: fun with if you still really love being with this man.
Speaker 3: The problem is like even questioning, oh is it okay
Speaker 3: if I step out? It's like you only want to
Speaker 3: do it just because the motherfucker did it, and then
Speaker 3: you really have this thing of now you're the one
Speaker 3: who hasn't. I think that's when a lot of people
Speaker 3: start talking about stepping out.
Speaker 4: It doesn't sound like even she wants to step out
Speaker 4: because he wants. She asked that, yeah, no, no, she
Speaker 4: asked if she should step out. But it doesn't sound
Speaker 4: like she wants to get back. It sounds like I've
Speaker 4: met this guy that has all the qualities that I
Speaker 4: wish my boyfriend had, and now it's making me sexually
Speaker 4: attracted to him, which is what she says in the
Speaker 4: last paragraph. Now that he's ambitious, he's driven, he's outgoing.
Speaker 1: I want to get in his skin.
Speaker 4: I want to fuck this man because he's everything I
Speaker 4: kind of wish my boyfriend was. But she's also not
Speaker 4: saying she hates her boyfriend. He's just not into the
Speaker 4: thing she likes right now. And I think that's the
Speaker 4: thing too. When you're a twenty six year old woman, bro,
Speaker 4: nothing is sexier than a man with ambition and drive
Speaker 4: and a go get a like.
Speaker 1: At twenty six. You don't want a man that just
Speaker 1: plays video games all day and smokes weed. But I
Speaker 1: also understand her saying.
Speaker 3: You feel like family, because I think a lot of
Speaker 3: couples turn into family.
Speaker 1: When she made that much, and she said that multiple times.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Like I'm really watching myself with I've never farted.
Speaker 3: Like I'm getting to this point of comfortability in my
Speaker 3: relationship where if I'm a little bloated, he'd be like, baby,
Speaker 3: just try to shit, or if I say it like
Speaker 3: I'm feeling so bloated, I don't feel well and I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, we can't talk about shit.
Speaker 2: I can't talk about shit with you, And He've turning
Speaker 2: around my brother, like what the fuck?
Speaker 1: I don't want to.
Speaker 4: Like get to this point where it's so different, bitch,
Speaker 4: I'll be shitting on the phone, niggas on FaceTime. They
Speaker 4: just look at the ceiling. As long as I don't
Speaker 4: have to like push it out. I'll shit on face
Speaker 4: time with you push it on, and I mean when
Speaker 4: it's really strong and you gotta focus, but like I'll
Speaker 4: just have the face time looking up to the ceiling
Speaker 4: and or are you kidding me? No, bitch, I'll be
Speaker 4: on the toilet when I can't you call them back
Speaker 4: because we're in a good conversation.
Speaker 5: And I agree, I definitely use the restaurant.
Speaker 4: But I on FaceTime again, I just make it look
Speaker 4: and I just keep going. Or I'll talk louder when
Speaker 4: I know it's about.
Speaker 5: That, or you have it or you haven't excused me.
Speaker 5: I just I like talk a little loud about.
Speaker 1: It on you.
Speaker 4: But I'm my god, it's so comfortable if I'm eating
Speaker 4: your ass and if we're gonna be having sex, and.
Speaker 1: Manby, that's sex. That's duram sex.
Speaker 5: Bro.
Speaker 1: If I am licking your body.
Speaker 5: I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not like delusional to what we do with our body.
Speaker 3: I want to see a statistic about couples of this
Speaker 3: ship in front of each other and fart in front
Speaker 3: of each other.
Speaker 1: That's different relationships.
Speaker 5: Don't get it in front of me. I'm I'm not
Speaker 5: gonna ship.
Speaker 1: In front of you. But on FaceTime you're not seeing
Speaker 1: me ship. Yeah, you just know I'm on the toilet.
Speaker 2: No, there has to be some science to this, like
Speaker 2: does it actually make you closer?
Speaker 1: It?
Speaker 2: Does it make your worse?
Speaker 5: Don't you get peed on? No?
Speaker 1: Right, what are we talking.
Speaker 3: About it's a sexual act, but that's the toilet act.
Speaker 3: It's not like you're shitting for a sex, but.
Speaker 1: That's a toilet act. Bitch, I am not one of you.
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 5: That means?
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 2: You're a ship on the FaceTime girl, bro?
Speaker 1: Because I'm very comfortable with and you know, always say worse.
Speaker 3: Your butt is such a fucking attribute of you where
Speaker 3: you was like, oh wow, like a lot of people
Speaker 3: don't have that. But and now all I could think
Speaker 3: is ship coming out of it.
Speaker 1: On the No, Bro, I need people to like we
Speaker 1: are human beings.
Speaker 4: If you don't think your nigga, don't ship, it may
Speaker 4: have some rough ones you are, like.
Speaker 1: Bro, don't be delusional with the human body. I don't
Speaker 1: know how we got here, but anyway, I don't want to.
Speaker 3: Get because like I feel like, once you get to
Speaker 3: that family point where you could do anything around each other,
Speaker 3: I don't always think that's good. I think you should reserve. No,
Speaker 3: I think you should reserve some things for private.
Speaker 6: I agree, like what shit, No, I mean, don't ship
Speaker 6: in front of me? Like that's one in front of me.
Speaker 6: I'm kind of whatever.
Speaker 2: He is not a big deal.
Speaker 3: But I think, well, we know I think that, But
Speaker 3: I can farting in front of someone deliberately.
Speaker 1: Do not do that.
Speaker 4: Do not just walk by and far. I don't want
Speaker 4: to be in your fumes and stuff like that. But
Speaker 4: we're on FaceTime, I'm on the toilet, We're not even
Speaker 4: by each other. And and to me, like when my
Speaker 4: ex was coming over all the time, I love him.
Speaker 5: Know you might not want to go in the bathroom
Speaker 5: for a little bits that happens.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1: Dan, you're dating a girl. Let's say it's been.
Speaker 2: Let's give it two months, okay, dave you two.
Speaker 3: And you're on face time and she's like, oh, I
Speaker 3: gotta go to the bathroom. Now you're thinking it's p
Speaker 3: you realize she's shitting.
Speaker 5: You said, yeah, well I kind of. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 6: I do say call me back if you want you want.
Speaker 6: It's for the privacy, not because of the shipping.
Speaker 1: But is there a problem. Is she's like, no, it's good, No.
Speaker 5: I'm chilling.
Speaker 2: No not a DJ.
Speaker 5: Yeah day what you're doing?
Speaker 6: Yeah, call me back, But only if the woman wants,
Speaker 6: if she wants.
Speaker 1: To hold on.
Speaker 2: So she wants to ship on the phone. You're still
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 1: Y'all do anything for some puss. That's just crazy to me.
Speaker 4: Sorry that we're human and we all understand we have
Speaker 4: humans like to call for a phone. Let's all phone
Speaker 4: a friend. I can't believe you just want someone to
Speaker 4: be on your bro You're out numbered here.
Speaker 1: It's okay. If you were leave the one and I
Speaker 1: mean insane, I.
Speaker 6: Need if your man's was shipping while y'all are on FaceTime,
Speaker 6: he didn't realize the last minute you'd be You.
Speaker 4: Would be upset that you knew he was shitting on
Speaker 4: the phone with you.
Speaker 2: No on face on FaceTime is crazy? Why did you
Speaker 2: involve me in your ship?
Speaker 1: On the audio?
Speaker 2: It's different. I shop on a fucking zoom audio call exactly.
Speaker 5: What's the difference?
Speaker 1: Difference?
Speaker 5: But you're not gonna see me on the face.
Speaker 1: You're looking at the ceiling, not looking.
Speaker 4: At the FaceTime showing the ship.
Speaker 6: Leave my ass please, she already put that visual in
Speaker 6: my head around I don't.
Speaker 1: They don't need to know that we ship.
Speaker 6: Okay, I mean okay, I very much subscribe to the
Speaker 6: realm of I don't want to protect like I don't
Speaker 6: want to know that girl's poop.
Speaker 1: You don't have to know the food.
Speaker 4: By the way, Can we get back to what this
Speaker 4: listener should do in her relationship?
Speaker 2: Oh, just break up with him?
Speaker 4: Yeah for Oh wait, you feel like that she should
Speaker 4: break up with this man kind of word to the
Speaker 4: read Just break up with him?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Sorry?
Speaker 4: What about you think she should work on it? I
Speaker 4: think she is twenty six. But then this might be
Speaker 4: where you just introduced a non traditional style leader.
Speaker 2: Can I say this?
Speaker 1: I will say that.
Speaker 4: I will say that since you could most likely do
Speaker 4: better because Amanda just wants to smoke weed all day
Speaker 4: and that doesn't take you on dates.
Speaker 1: You deserve better.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: I don't want to sound very aunto your mom like,
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna.
Speaker 5: Say this too late.
Speaker 2: I really is too late.
Speaker 3: That smoke for breakfast shit is a fucking oh my god,
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry I'm saying this. But the most low
Speaker 3: vibrational bullshit vibration. I mean, above fucker, that's smoking morning.
Speaker 3: I could s feel the weed in their how they
Speaker 3: like need the fucking smoke. That's all we do. I'm disgusted. Honestly,
Speaker 3: I don't hang with men or women like that. I
Speaker 3: hang with weed smokers. I don't hang with people that
Speaker 3: make that a part of their aesthetic. I think that
Speaker 3: shit is fucking weird.
Speaker 4: It's not an aesthetic. But maybe there's not actually what
Speaker 4: I'm talking about, but a lot.
Speaker 5: Of my friends, it's a very low percentage.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: I have friends that literally, if we're going out to dinner,
Speaker 4: they're going outside to smoke because they have to smoke
Speaker 4: before they feel like they wake up and smoke.
Speaker 1: They're driving and they smoke. I have friends that literally
Speaker 1: smoke all day long, not to show.
Speaker 5: Are they functional?
Speaker 6: Yeah, see, I feel like there's a low percentage of
Speaker 6: people who can do all that wake and make and
Speaker 6: everything and to actually happen.
Speaker 4: Well, that's probably the issue with her boyfriend right now.
Speaker 4: He may smoke so much to where he's not functional
Speaker 4: to take you on dates, sport to remember.
Speaker 1: That you said, don't be real.
Speaker 3: I don't care if it's functional. I take anything that
Speaker 3: you need to do as a sign a weakness. If
Speaker 3: you need alcohol to have a good time, you need
Speaker 3: to smoke before we go eat or in the morning,
Speaker 3: and not to call your friends week. I don't mean
Speaker 3: that genuine I'm not trying to say that I just
Speaker 3: mean what it looks like.
Speaker 1: It's your opinion.
Speaker 3: I don't care what it looks like. To me, I can't.
Speaker 3: I can't be around it all the time. Like if
Speaker 3: I'm sitting with a like a partner, if my boyfriend
Speaker 3: is doing this, like what the fuck the I have
Speaker 3: ship to do? Like, I don't give a fuck if
Speaker 3: I am a freelancer or I can dictate my own day.
Speaker 3: I don't think that type of culture is cool. I've
Speaker 3: literally been around people that won't go to a spot
Speaker 3: if they can't smoke in it, and I think that's crazy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, but to me that's one Like I
Speaker 4: have friends that literally wake up in Papa audterall because
Speaker 4: that's what they need. Like, I don't think again, if
Speaker 4: you're functioning, it's fine. As a partner. The only thing
Speaker 4: I don't want my partner to do all day is
Speaker 4: play video games. But that's because I think that has
Speaker 4: an impact on you being productive.
Speaker 2: Hold on, do you think wake and bake is.
Speaker 4: I would rather a man smoke all day long every
Speaker 4: day and need to smoke before eating than playing video games.
Speaker 1: For hours on end.
Speaker 5: Yes, I kind of see that. Yes, Yes, do not.
Speaker 4: Be unless unless you're making six figures playing video games.
Speaker 1: Let me go ahead and throw the.
Speaker 4: Ca yeah, because the gamers are going to be like, well,
Speaker 4: someone wants to make a lot of money doing it.
Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up. Majority of the men may just
Speaker 1: play video games.
Speaker 3: Associate video games differently, So like I feel that video
Speaker 3: games if I guess, if you're talking in terms of
Speaker 3: someone that does it all day, sure, but like if
Speaker 3: someone enjoys a game for leisure, what do I give.
Speaker 1: A fuck now for hours on end?
Speaker 4: If you're talking if we're talking about the addiction on
Speaker 4: how much you do it, if you play a video
Speaker 4: game for one hour, no, I'm not going to compare
Speaker 4: you to someone who smokes all day. If we're talking
Speaker 4: about a guy who needs to smoke and function, I'm
Speaker 4: comparing him to a gamer that may literally be able
Speaker 4: to sit a whole work shift six to eight hours
Speaker 4: and play video games.
Speaker 5: Well, what my Saturday is smoking and playing video games.
Speaker 5: But every other day is fine.
Speaker 4: You better have a savings account. Oh, I mean yeah,
Speaker 4: but you better you better work. Like to me, it
Speaker 4: makes sense on your off day. I'm talking about a
Speaker 4: daily thing. So I don't want a daily gamer.
Speaker 3: If for I think a way that I do like
Speaker 3: mindless shit and decompress is trash TV.
Speaker 2: Everyone knows I love night everyone knows you love your house.
Speaker 1: You do you have the time to do it every day.
Speaker 2: But if I spent my whole Saturday doing that, is
Speaker 2: that not compared?
Speaker 5: That's fine, I'm.
Speaker 1: Saying, but that's the point.
Speaker 4: We're talking about the everyday weed smoker compared to the
Speaker 4: everyday gamer.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about binging on an off day. We're
Speaker 1: literally compared. I don't have anyone.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 3: You can't binge on anything and not fucking get to it.
Speaker 3: That's a no for me, period. I'm just saying that comparison. Yeah,
Speaker 3: to me, video games in a way can be brain games.
Speaker 3: But there is something about weed smoker culture that is
Speaker 3: very lazy and and addictive, and I just I don't know.
Speaker 3: I can't appreciate it. But I am somebody that smokes weed,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? So when I hear that
Speaker 3: that's what they like to do. He can't get up
Speaker 3: and do stuff. Of course, I'm going to correlate the
Speaker 3: two laziness.
Speaker 1: It's laziness.
Speaker 4: And again I think he's one of those that is
Speaker 4: a weed smoker. That's not functional. And I think that
Speaker 4: when you again get to twenty six years old, you
Speaker 4: do start requiring and looking at your partner differently because
Speaker 4: you're looking at them as well. Is he a provider?
Speaker 4: Is this someone that I can build with? Which is
Speaker 4: also what she's saying. When I was eighteen, I wasn't
Speaker 4: looking at At twenty six, I want to be able
Speaker 4: to build with my partner, and this is clearly someone
Speaker 4: you can't build with.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: There's another thing that my homegirl said. She was dating
Speaker 3: a smoker, like one of them every day types. She
Speaker 3: literally said to me, I just feel like he always
Speaker 3: got to escape from something, And she's like, and I
Speaker 3: hate it. I hate when someone's got to drink or
Speaker 3: smoke to escape from some shit. Well, there's sex, there's
Speaker 3: a lot of.
Speaker 1: Us we use.
Speaker 3: The average person will use these things to add to
Speaker 3: the vibe, not to be the fucking day, just literally
Speaker 3: your life. So I think meeting someone at that young
Speaker 3: age that's already starting off that way, no, I think
Speaker 3: you got to get to a point like where you
Speaker 3: deserve it.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 4: I think she said that she was also that person,
Speaker 4: and she just notices that she's in a place of change.
Speaker 2: You don't need to be with that man like that.
Speaker 1: You know, you definitely don't need to be with him.
Speaker 1: Let's be very clear. Yeah, if you're you have some
Speaker 1: bad habits about you.
Speaker 3: One of the most important things I feel like I
Speaker 3: recognized recently in business and in a relationship is knowing
Speaker 3: where I'm my weaknesses are, being very upfront about those things.
Speaker 3: If you know your weakness is something that you see
Speaker 3: in a partner, you'll drag each other down. Like it's
Speaker 3: just there's no point in being together. If I know
Speaker 3: that I'm always late or I'm delayed on projects often,
Speaker 3: and my partner doesn't excel in that, what the fuck
Speaker 3: are we doing? How we ever get shit done together?
Speaker 3: This is not a good match. Like the faults need
Speaker 3: to be a strength in someone else. The same thing
Speaker 3: in business, having a business partner and you're both bad
Speaker 3: at something, what the fuck is the point of that?
Speaker 3: So I really believe that a lot of people need
Speaker 3: to pay attention to that and love. Like if your
Speaker 3: partner or someone you're interested in has something admirable about
Speaker 3: them that you're like, damn, I would like to be
Speaker 3: like that, or you admire it?
Speaker 1: Hell the fuck?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a hell yes, the same for men and
Speaker 3: women listening. Don't you dare get what a motherfucker that
Speaker 3: got the same advice as you?
Speaker 2: Hey A, no, yeah, you're fucked.
Speaker 1: I agree.
Speaker 4: Will if you want to take our advice, or need
Speaker 4: our advice, or think you want our advice, make sure
Speaker 4: you can next week.
Speaker 1: Was like, you probably don't. Make sure you email us Decisions.
Speaker 4: Pod at gmail dot com because you've got decisions and
Speaker 4: we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2: Bye, y'all.