Speaker 1: Boom. If you've thought more hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old Republic, the sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now. Yes it does for the the disfranchise,
Speaker 1: the exploited members of the Malla militia that don't get enough,
Speaker 1: that don't get enough of this nonsense during the week.
Speaker 1: And we know that four hours are not enough. So
Speaker 1: here we are. I just noticed the open. We might
Speaker 1: have to redo the open of the Fifth Hour, and
Speaker 1: I'll tell you why in a second. But we are
Speaker 1: in the air everywhere, really everywhere, the vast power of
Speaker 1: the I Heart Company, the global reach of podcasting, part
Speaker 1: of the I Heart podcast Network. We're avail, as you
Speaker 1: already know. But I want you to tell your friends this.
Speaker 1: Wherever you get your podcast or your enemies, I don't
Speaker 1: really care, because remember we learned one minute. All that
Speaker 1: need one good minute. You can pretty much do anything
Speaker 1: for a minute, even if you hate it. So like
Speaker 1: people that aren't sports people could download this for one minute,
Speaker 1: we get credit. Of course, the argument. I guess this
Speaker 1: isn't even a sports podcast anymore. I don't know what happened,
Speaker 1: but it's like just a bullshit podcast. But we have
Speaker 1: myself Ben and he's a hero on the internet, his
Speaker 1: parody accounts. He's got so many burner accounts. He's I
Speaker 1: think he's behind the Carlos Beltron Niece Burner account. David Gascount,
Speaker 1: I'm happy to be here breaking as fast as we speak.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a brand new day, and yeah, let's
Speaker 1: get into it. You can do a Marcel and Brooklyn impersonation.
Speaker 1: You have some oodles and boodles for noodles, maybe some
Speaker 1: chef boyard. I can't believe you let that guy on radio.
Speaker 1: That's a national show and it's just train wreck for
Speaker 1: a couple of minutes. Well, Marcel is a polarizing call
Speaker 1: and you don't understand talking radio. I understand polarizing. Many
Speaker 1: of the callers blow all right, there's only a few
Speaker 1: good callers. So what I do is I'm like a coach.
Speaker 1: I I'm coaching up Marcel. If you would have heard
Speaker 1: Marcel's first two phone calls to talk radio when he
Speaker 1: called me a while back, horrific. He's nervous. I'm giving
Speaker 1: him a direction, I'm giving him a role. Now. Heats
Speaker 1: a little bit, a little bit off from time to time.
Speaker 1: But I like Marcell. He he thinks he is a star,
Speaker 1: and that's all that really matters in Marcel's head. I
Speaker 1: believe Marcel believes he is a major media star because
Speaker 1: he calls our show and a bunch of other local
Speaker 1: morning shows and whatnot. So there you go. Wait, so
Speaker 1: if you gave him instruction and correct me if I'm
Speaker 1: wrong on this, But you started off in this industry
Speaker 1: as what like a board op or or a producer?
Speaker 1: Well I was when I was a kid. I was
Speaker 1: a kid caller, kid caller, producer, board op anchor. And
Speaker 1: don't give any notes to any of your any of
Speaker 1: your regular show colleagues. Well I would, but they don't
Speaker 1: show up until, you know, right before the show, like
Speaker 1: a minute before. So it's hard to give out notes
Speaker 1: when they show up a minute before, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Fair enough? Yeah, um, before we we get sorry,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to give an update, which I failed
Speaker 1: to do on the last radio show because this this
Speaker 1: is far as we always say, the super p ones
Speaker 1: of the show right that. You know, Holy Mac like
Speaker 1: you're a big fan if you listen to this crap um.
Speaker 1: But Marcel in Brooklyn versus Blair and Maine, there's gonna
Speaker 1: be a verbal octa guy. Now, Blair and Maine started this.
Speaker 1: But I have bad news to report, all right. A
Speaker 1: member of the Mallard Militia from the Great State of
Speaker 1: Maine informed me that Blair, our guy, the caller of
Speaker 1: the Year, went on the JAB, it was a Morning Jab,
Speaker 1: which is the affiliate in Portland, Maine, and said he
Speaker 1: cannot fight Marcel in Brooklyn. I did not get all
Speaker 1: the details. Maybe there's some shame and embarrassment there. Maybe
Speaker 1: his mom told him he can't do it, or the
Speaker 1: Special Olympics told him he can't do it. But he says,
Speaker 1: how you do it? So I think he's holding out
Speaker 1: for more money Gascon. I think he you know how,
Speaker 1: sometimes there's a big fight in the one of the
Speaker 1: boxes is and I'm not gonna do it. Like Mayweather,
Speaker 1: He'll say, I'm not gonna do it, but you gotta
Speaker 1: pay me more money and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: he's willing to do it. Yeah, weed man, Hippy, you've
Speaker 1: got a bunch of panhandlers on your show. Ben, Yes,
Speaker 1: you need a verbal octagon between blind Scott and Mark
Speaker 1: the full name guy. Yeah. Well Mark doesn't call as much,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that would see, that would be good. Blind
Speaker 1: Scott can get really worked up. He's good occasionally. Or
Speaker 1: you like him because you met him and he gave
Speaker 1: you he was your tour guide in Boston and you
Speaker 1: enjoyed that. No, but he's he's actually at something to
Speaker 1: your show, which is personality. That show lacks personality. How
Speaker 1: does lack of personality? It's a personality driven show. I
Speaker 1: don't know. It's an opinion based personality driven. It's a
Speaker 1: little flat. It's a little what I say, flat, little lethargic.
Speaker 1: How is the show lethargic? Are you gonna listen to it?
Speaker 1: Do you say? Right now? How is it? Letharge? You
Speaker 1: know I'll give you those notes off the air. You
Speaker 1: have nothing, you have nothing, you have you listen, you
Speaker 1: are pounding the table because you have nothing. That famous
Speaker 1: quote that's not true. I mean that's right. If you
Speaker 1: have the facts on your side, you go with the facts.
Speaker 1: If not, you pound the table. No, that's not true
Speaker 1: at all. That's it. The quote. Yeah, the quote is,
Speaker 1: if you have the facts on your side, pound the facts.
Speaker 1: If you have the law on your side, pound the law.
Speaker 1: If you have neither on your side, you pound the table.
Speaker 1: You're pounding the table. Do it off. Here. We do
Speaker 1: everything on this stupid podcast. We do. Yes, Well, we're
Speaker 1: usually pressed for time. Usually unfortunately we're not pressed for
Speaker 1: time today. Well, we kind of are. I have a
Speaker 1: busy day at a busy morning. I have a busy
Speaker 1: this is my life here. You know, normally the star
Speaker 1: of a podcast or a radio show people bow down
Speaker 1: and uh and and give them shoulder rubs. It's a
Speaker 1: manny and a petty for the big talent. This is
Speaker 1: how I grew up in radio, and I still see it.
Speaker 1: Like Colin Coward gets a manny and petty every day
Speaker 1: from Greg Toohey, I'm told, but but here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Like with me, it's like an annoyance that you have
Speaker 1: to do the show with me. Like on the radio show,
Speaker 1: I get the same thing. I thought, well, maybe i'd
Speaker 1: get a ben at on the podcast. No, I got
Speaker 1: fucking guest gone, Who's got to schedule me around auditions?
Speaker 1: What a Hollywood one percent funk up that this guy's
Speaker 1: going around l A doing auditions, And then I gotta
Speaker 1: plan my schedule on a fucking day off. I gotta
Speaker 1: plan my schedule around what audition you're doing to sell
Speaker 1: cheese on television. It's not sure you work this morning,
Speaker 1: so it's not your day off. You're still working. It
Speaker 1: is my day off once I go to the dude,
Speaker 1: day starts when you wake up. You know how that works.
Speaker 1: To be fair, you're getting paid nothing for this, so
Speaker 1: you're not working on your day off. You're just talking
Speaker 1: into a microphone that's been recorded on your day off.
Speaker 1: So that is logic. You just threw some logic out there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sorry about that. Whatever. I was at the studio twice
Speaker 1: yesterday to record your stupid podcast. I was doing it
Speaker 1: before I had to call a game at cal State Northridge,
Speaker 1: and then I came back after to edit your podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's fine, but but I had to run around the
Speaker 1: byways and highways to get to the studio I was on.
Speaker 1: I did at the five different highways. I believe it
Speaker 1: was to get to where we do the show from
Speaker 1: because there was a little bit of rain. So everyone
Speaker 1: was out on the on the four oh five and
Speaker 1: the two ten and the ten and the five and
Speaker 1: all these different freeways in l A one on one
Speaker 1: on pontoon boats. They were floating along on pontoon boats
Speaker 1: because there was a freeway, uh act like an accident
Speaker 1: on the on the freeway there. So it was it
Speaker 1: was a nightmare. So I'd believe early if it hadn't
Speaker 1: been bad, I maybe you could have pulled it off.
Speaker 1: But you were lazy, you were slow, that you did
Speaker 1: a long postgame show that you were doing. It's bad
Speaker 1: job by you, inappropriate, inappropriate pontoon But that gives me
Speaker 1: a great memories of my time in Lake Havasu. Anyways, Um, alright,
Speaker 1: so here's the menu today. You've we've got the by
Speaker 1: the way, just to put the footnote on that fight.
Speaker 1: I believe it will still happen, although Marcel did not
Speaker 1: call the Friday show, which was one of his scheduled
Speaker 1: days to call the show, so he might be getting
Speaker 1: cold feet also, so I'm gonna have to talk to
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to coach these guys up, both of them,
Speaker 1: these jamos, these Pelucas and get these guys into a
Speaker 1: fighting posture. So we have Bingo card of death. Everything
Speaker 1: in the kitchen sink dial long distance, we've got that
Speaker 1: as well. Study this. We'll get to that, glamour shots,
Speaker 1: gascon and on the Graham and also grab bag time permitting.
Speaker 1: So that's what's coming up on the podcast, but we'll
Speaker 1: begin with the Bingo card of death all right. Now.
Speaker 1: I lost a friend of mine, a guy that I
Speaker 1: had worked with for a very long time as a reporter,
Speaker 1: and we didn't work at the same radio station. But
Speaker 1: when I first started in l A radio and I
Speaker 1: came up from San Diego, I was a reporter for
Speaker 1: several years before I got into complete gas baggery when
Speaker 1: I do these days. But I covered basketball, baseball, whatever,
Speaker 1: hockey pretty much. I had no girlfriend, I had no life.
Speaker 1: I had an apartment in Hollywood, and I pretty much
Speaker 1: went two games every night. And I said again, I
Speaker 1: go to you know, I grew up at Dodger Stadium. Literally,
Speaker 1: like I'd go out there at like, you know, one o'clock,
Speaker 1: two o'clock in the afternoon and be there till midnight
Speaker 1: most days when they were home, and then I'd go
Speaker 1: to the Angel Games and do the same thing when
Speaker 1: the Angels were home. And uh, the different teams in
Speaker 1: l A. That I was covering for the Mighty six
Speaker 1: ninety in San Diego, which no longer exists. So I
Speaker 1: befriended this guy, Alex, who it's an odd tale. He's
Speaker 1: he's rushing, but he his family, I guess during the
Speaker 1: World War Two a aped Russia and moved. I think
Speaker 1: it was Argentinas, somebody told me. And so he grew
Speaker 1: up fluent in Russian and Spanish. And he's such an
Speaker 1: he's such a smart guy, Alex that he realized if
Speaker 1: you live in l A and you want to make
Speaker 1: money in radio, you do the Spanish radio. That's where
Speaker 1: the money is. And so that's what he did, and
Speaker 1: he did that. He had a long career in radio.
Speaker 1: But anyway, he passed away recently. And I don't normally
Speaker 1: talk about this kind of stuff because I think it's
Speaker 1: you're patting yourself on the back when people have asked
Speaker 1: about it. So I will talk about it here. So
Speaker 1: he had a funeral, which I think most people do
Speaker 1: when they die. If the people like them, there's a funeral, uh.
Speaker 1: And so it was on Tuesday of this week at
Speaker 1: eleven a m uh local time in Los Angeles in
Speaker 1: the morning. Now, guess gon, this is the middle of
Speaker 1: the night for me. Do you understand, like this is
Speaker 1: the eleven am. I mean, I know he didn't consult
Speaker 1: with me on the time of the funeral, but this
Speaker 1: was about the worst possible time for me, right, I
Speaker 1: guess worse would have been like nine am, but eleven's
Speaker 1: in the same spectrum, you understand, No, I don't par
Speaker 1: of the reasons because you sent me some horrific texas
Speaker 1: like an eight or nine or ten o'clock in the morning,
Speaker 1: and I'm baffled as to why you're still awake, so
Speaker 1: you can't get so you can't get any pity for
Speaker 1: me on your sleep schedule? What time you usually go
Speaker 1: to bed? Anyway, I usually go to bed between eight
Speaker 1: and nine in the morning, and you get off of
Speaker 1: work at three. Well, I go to work out. I
Speaker 1: know you don't work out, your big fat take, but
Speaker 1: I go work out and I do that, and then
Speaker 1: I have to wind down. I am, I'm all wired
Speaker 1: after the workout in the show, and I gotta kind
Speaker 1: of wind down a little bit, and uh, my mind
Speaker 1: is racing. I'm already thinking about the next show, and
Speaker 1: it's a problem. I can't slow them. You're gonna get
Speaker 1: a new producer then, well not you, I don't. I mean,
Speaker 1: someone will take your mind off of this. You're a
Speaker 1: ball of stress. Though that's part of the reason. I'm
Speaker 1: a type A man. I'm about everything, and that's just
Speaker 1: the way it is. You don't have blame my d
Speaker 1: n A. What's that you don't have O C D. Though, No,
Speaker 1: not really O c D. But my my nightmare. You know,
Speaker 1: I've worked with some people guests, and I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I work with him now, but I work with people
Speaker 1: that aren't dependable occasionally, and so it puts me in
Speaker 1: a in a position where I my nightmare is to
Speaker 1: be behind the microphone and not be prepared because I've
Speaker 1: been there. I've been there early in my career, and
Speaker 1: I I the first show I the problem I have
Speaker 1: is the first radio show I ever did by myself,
Speaker 1: talk radio. I've told the story before, but I went
Speaker 1: in there gung hole. I had prepared. I had a
Speaker 1: great monologue. Um and and my programmer at the time,
Speaker 1: Bo Bennett Um, he was there. He was excited. You know,
Speaker 1: I was the young, up and coming radio guy and
Speaker 1: I first shot behind the microphone by myself solo. Man
Speaker 1: was that important? And uh it was a Saturday morning
Speaker 1: UM radio show and I came in there and I
Speaker 1: just fucking nailed the monologue. It was like a ten okay,
Speaker 1: And then I didn't prepare for the rest of the show.
Speaker 1: I didn't have anything like just in case nobody calls
Speaker 1: kind of thing. You know, I drowned. I'm amazed I
Speaker 1: was brought back. I'm like a cat with nine lives
Speaker 1: because I'm convinced I drowned. I had so much flop
Speaker 1: sweat going. You know, it was like a game of Survivor.
Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out a way to to
Speaker 1: survive here. And and but they do say happiness is
Speaker 1: that jowning out of destination. So my theory is the
Speaker 1: reason I am overly prepared for all these other shows
Speaker 1: is because of that first show that went so terribly
Speaker 1: after it started out so well, That's that's why this
Speaker 1: nonsense happened. This sounds like prom nite for you, right,
Speaker 1: like popping the cherry for the first time, you think
Speaker 1: of doing a good job, and then she's just like
Speaker 1: is that it? Are you still hear that these days? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Your plugs it. I don't even care. Like, let's get
Speaker 1: this over with quick, let's move on. We got I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta watch a game. So how do you
Speaker 1: run when you when you're nine, ten eleven o'clock in
Speaker 1: the morning, what are you running on? Espresso coffee? Be
Speaker 1: sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
Speaker 1: weekdays at two am Eastern Pacific. Well, I didn't go
Speaker 1: to the gym that day, and I tried to sleep,
Speaker 1: but I can't just fall asleep after the show because again,
Speaker 1: I'm worried up why. I'm like, boy, I hope my
Speaker 1: bosses don't hear the show last night. That was really bad,
Speaker 1: you know that kind of thing. And then I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to think? Like what the big story
Speaker 1: is going to be for the next show? You know
Speaker 1: what do I Because the good thing about sports is
Speaker 1: a lot of this stuff is telegraphed, like we kind
Speaker 1: of know what the big story. There's a big game
Speaker 1: that night, or there's rumors of a trade, or somebody's unhappy.
Speaker 1: Kind of know that the day before. Now that changes,
Speaker 1: but you kind of know, going in, what's gonna work,
Speaker 1: what what what could be on the agenda? So I
Speaker 1: think about that stuff. But I didn't go to the
Speaker 1: gym that day. I had trouble falling asleep, but I
Speaker 1: got up in morning rush hour traffic. Man, I don't
Speaker 1: know how you people do it. I'm talking about you
Speaker 1: and you and you, because what a nightmare, what a
Speaker 1: fucking nightmare morning rush hour traffic is. But I did it.
Speaker 1: I didn't get to hours roughly to get to that funeral.
Speaker 1: And but it's a good miss way I have funerals.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to go to a funeral. A funerals are
Speaker 1: for the living, and you're supposed to show appreciation for
Speaker 1: the living because the dead's not there. I mean, their
Speaker 1: bodies there, but they're not really there there. And so
Speaker 1: but again I don't usually talk about this kind of
Speaker 1: stuff because, uh, that's just I think that's personal going
Speaker 1: to this kind of stat stuff. And I'm not doing
Speaker 1: it to get a pat on the back, um, just
Speaker 1: telling you about my week. Uh. And I also want
Speaker 1: to point out that I have now almost completed my
Speaker 1: Bingo card of death, my funeral Bingo card of death.
Speaker 1: I have been two the here the following funerals. I've
Speaker 1: been too, because unfortunately I started radio and I was
Speaker 1: nineteen years old and a lot of the people I
Speaker 1: started with have started to die, um because they were
Speaker 1: older or whatever, they were middle aged and then whatever.
Speaker 1: So I've been to the Jewish funeral, Catholic, Christian, non religious,
Speaker 1: from over, an atheist ceremony. I've been to a funeral
Speaker 1: in a black church in the hood. Now I have been.
Speaker 1: This is my first ever. This is this is eye
Speaker 1: opening here, my man, I shouldn't you know. It's nothing
Speaker 1: to do with Alex or his family. It's just the
Speaker 1: way I didn't know what I was walking into a
Speaker 1: Russian Orthodox funeral. Have you ever been to a Russian
Speaker 1: Orthodox funeral? I've only been to Italian Jewish. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: been to Italien up in the Italian Yeah. Isn't that
Speaker 1: the same as a Catholic isn't the same concept? No,
Speaker 1: there's a lot more eating involved. I'm just talking about
Speaker 1: the actual ceremony, and you know all that I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Have you been to it? You haven't
Speaker 1: been to a military funeral yet, have you. I've not
Speaker 1: done the military. I was trying to think what's left
Speaker 1: on my Bengo card of death. I need Hindu, Muslim,
Speaker 1: and military, and I think I'm good. If anybody's a
Speaker 1: friend and that you wanted me to go to your
Speaker 1: funeral and you're in one of those three camps let
Speaker 1: me know, and doing funeral tour like around the globe.
Speaker 1: Well I want to complete it. You know. Eventually I'll
Speaker 1: go to my own funeral, but that'll be to you know,
Speaker 1: either a non religious or a Jewish one. So, uh,
Speaker 1: I gotta get these other Maybe I can have a
Speaker 1: Hindu funeral even though I'm not really Hindu. Do you
Speaker 1: trust me reading a monologue for your for your eulogy?
Speaker 1: You'll die before me? I think that. Yeah. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know I'm better than you. You're you're older than
Speaker 1: me anyway, so I don't have to worry about. So
Speaker 1: we're doing back to back uh debt talk monologues for
Speaker 1: for these podcasts David Stern last week and now Your
Speaker 1: Friend this week. Yeah, and it's even better. We're leading
Speaker 1: with this this week. There is a lead. That's how
Speaker 1: bad this podcast is. We're leading. Uh death is what
Speaker 1: we're leading with. But this this just to put the
Speaker 1: foot Noteicze I you've ever been to a Russian Orthodox
Speaker 1: Um funeral, you probably haven't been. So this is this
Speaker 1: was the daily double from me. Okay. Now, it was
Speaker 1: at this old church in Los Angeles right near it
Speaker 1: was kind of l a but near Hollywood. So it
Speaker 1: did this old Russian Orthodox church, which is fine. You know,
Speaker 1: it's a nice building and it had obviously a lot
Speaker 1: of history, a lot of memories were in there. So
Speaker 1: I drive two hours hand to God gas gun, which literally,
Speaker 1: when you're at a funeral, your hand is almost a god.
Speaker 1: I did not understand one thing that was said. The
Speaker 1: entire thing was in Russian. Okay, now that's the first
Speaker 1: part of the daily double. The second thing it was
Speaker 1: an open casket, not a fan guess gun. I want
Speaker 1: to remember the living as the living. So me and
Speaker 1: my friend Norm and Lee we were there so that
Speaker 1: one side of the church was that you could face
Speaker 1: the casket, and then the other side was you could
Speaker 1: see the back of the casket. So we s get
Speaker 1: dattled over to the other side and we circumvented there's
Speaker 1: like a line to go and uh, you know, see
Speaker 1: the corpse um. We didn't do that. We snuck off
Speaker 1: to the side and waited for the ceremony to start.
Speaker 1: Now was it Lee Klein that was there? Lee was there,
Speaker 1: so was the Prince of Darkness himself was making an appearance,
Speaker 1: So he I would imagine he was just annihilating this
Speaker 1: this funeral. Correct, No, he was actually respectful, which I
Speaker 1: was shocked. But we were. We were worried, me and
Speaker 1: normal word because we got there before him, and Lee
Speaker 1: showed up after the ceremony started, so we were concerned
Speaker 1: he was gonna come in there like a ball of
Speaker 1: lightning and uh, I'm here everybody, and you know, he's
Speaker 1: all in Russian and all you know, I was like,
Speaker 1: but he fortunately was on his best behavior, which he
Speaker 1: I don't know how that happened, because he would be
Speaker 1: the guy that would make the awkward statement and to
Speaker 1: make a joke to the to the priest, you know,
Speaker 1: and all that. But so it was all in Russian
Speaker 1: and all that we had that going on. And the
Speaker 1: thing that all bothered me probably more than anything, was
Speaker 1: unfortunately been to a lot of these funerals. I to
Speaker 1: me and each of their own funerals are about you know,
Speaker 1: sharing memories and stories, right, telling stories and remembering the
Speaker 1: person I know, you can do that after the funeral,
Speaker 1: but I think at the funeral because a lot of
Speaker 1: people don't go to the other stuff, the wakes or
Speaker 1: whatever or sitting, uh, you know, different things that religions
Speaker 1: do to celebrate the rituals that people have. But I
Speaker 1: think of the funeral part of it should be giving
Speaker 1: um mulogies. And I actually wanted to give a little
Speaker 1: I had a couple of stories that I wanted to
Speaker 1: give about my friend Alex, and I wasn't allowed to
Speaker 1: do it because I don't speak Russian and there was
Speaker 1: no time for that and that only so I actually
Speaker 1: want to share a couple of them with you right now.
Speaker 1: You want to hear my my favorite Alex? Yes, please
Speaker 1: give me. Can you at least describe Alex? First? Alex
Speaker 1: was a kind of grizzled uh rough exterior gentlemen probably
Speaker 1: about who I don't know how old he was. I
Speaker 1: really don't know how he is. I don't know how
Speaker 1: old anybody is, um. But he kind of had a
Speaker 1: not a husky he wasn't he wasn't skinny, but he
Speaker 1: wasn't overly husky, kind of a little chubby um. And
Speaker 1: I first met him and when I again, I was
Speaker 1: a kid, and when I first started going to these games,
Speaker 1: and it was so funny because uh, I covered the
Speaker 1: Clippers in the nineties. They were horrific. I loved it,
Speaker 1: but they were horrific. But at some point I became
Speaker 1: I started become jaded because the team was so bad
Speaker 1: and I had stuff to do after the game. So
Speaker 1: everyone on press row, everyone in the press box, and
Speaker 1: we we sat in radio row, and um, we were
Speaker 1: all like, at some point, we're like, just get these
Speaker 1: fucking games over with. We've got stuff to do, you know,
Speaker 1: I go interview the dumb players and then we'll go
Speaker 1: off and do our own thing. Well, Alex, he loved
Speaker 1: he was so excited to be at these games, um,
Speaker 1: and the and he was so happy. And he didn't
Speaker 1: really speak English that well at that time for some reason,
Speaker 1: but he would shout when the game was close in
Speaker 1: the fourth quarter. He double all over at the time.
Speaker 1: He wanted, he wanted, he never wanted the games to end,
Speaker 1: and we got to kick out it. We were like,
Speaker 1: this is unbelieved. This look, get a load of this
Speaker 1: fucking guy. You know, we're all trying to get the
Speaker 1: funk out of here. And this guy wants double overtime.
Speaker 1: And I'll never forget a guest on the Clippers, who
Speaker 1: were horrible in those years. They played the Boston Celtics,
Speaker 1: soho I think had Larry Bird. Maybe I'm wrong on that,
Speaker 1: And I know the Chicago Bulls had Michael Jordan's back
Speaker 1: to back games went to double overtime. It was orgasmic
Speaker 1: for my friend Alex, and so for the rest of
Speaker 1: his life, any time I ran into him with a
Speaker 1: game and I got married, I don't go to games where,
Speaker 1: you know, as often as I used to, but anytime
Speaker 1: i'd run into him, I would. His nickname was double
Speaker 1: Overtime because he said double overtime and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: So that was that was a good memory of Alex.
Speaker 1: I also played in that same year, I played in
Speaker 1: a Clipper media game coached by Hall of Famer Bill Fitch,
Speaker 1: and Alex was part of that, and Alex used to
Speaker 1: I busted his balls calling him double overtime. Well, Alex
Speaker 1: busted my balls because Bill Fitch in the middle gascon
Speaker 1: Oh that uh that basketball it was even more like
Speaker 1: a scrimmage type thing, wasn't a full game or whatever.
Speaker 1: But Bill Fitch called time out in the middle. It's
Speaker 1: in front of all that. It was a media game,
Speaker 1: calls time out and in front of the entire l
Speaker 1: A media contingent that was covering the Clippers in those
Speaker 1: days said to me, You've got to be the worst
Speaker 1: play year I've ever coached. And uh, and Alex never
Speaker 1: let me forget about that. He reminded me of that,
Speaker 1: and then I told him, I said, well, listen, you
Speaker 1: know Bill Fitch coached Larry Bird, you know, so you know,
Speaker 1: you remember the greatest and the worst. And I think
Speaker 1: he I think he coached he was in Houston. Did
Speaker 1: he have I don't know if he had a team
Speaker 1: Elijah Wan or not, but um, he had some good
Speaker 1: players in Houston as well when he's coaching the Rocket.
Speaker 1: So so I was. I told Alex, I said he
Speaker 1: would say that, and my comeback was like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: but he coached Bird, so it's me and Bird, you know,
Speaker 1: me and Elijah Wan or whatever. So but that was fun.
Speaker 1: I mean, that was a good memory. Um I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think what else? Oh, he all. I was also
Speaker 1: with him another story involving the Celtics. He he asked
Speaker 1: Dino Rajah, who was like a big star at the
Speaker 1: time for the for the Celtics, there was kind of
Speaker 1: in between the Bird era and then when they became
Speaker 1: good again when they had the truth Paul Pierce and
Speaker 1: so the Celtics were going through a rough patch and
Speaker 1: they had lost to the Lakers and then they lost
Speaker 1: to the Clippers. Were losing to the Lakers is no
Speaker 1: you know, it's no shame because the Lakers were good
Speaker 1: in those days. But the Clippers. I mean, you gotta
Speaker 1: do some soul searching when you lose the Clippers. And
Speaker 1: so Alex goes in there like a ball of fire
Speaker 1: and says the Dino Rager, who's all depressed because they
Speaker 1: just lost the game and all over to a bad
Speaker 1: Clipper team, and he says, uh, something to the effect
Speaker 1: I'll paraphrase. It was something of the effect of like,
Speaker 1: how does it feel to lose to both the Lakers
Speaker 1: and the Clippers? You want to get out of l a,
Speaker 1: don't you? And Rock Dino Raja wanted to punch and
Speaker 1: got all it was it was some of them. We
Speaker 1: got kicked out of the Celtics locker room by Dino Roger.
Speaker 1: That was funny. And the final out story because I know,
Speaker 1: you don't, you might not care about it, but I
Speaker 1: think these are good stories, and these are stories I
Speaker 1: would have shared if I had the opportunity to his funeral.
Speaker 1: But I Alex would take public transportation a lot to
Speaker 1: get to these games, right, so sometimes I would try
Speaker 1: to do him a solid, you know. And I took
Speaker 1: the train a lot also, but sometimes I drive to
Speaker 1: the games. And in the peak, Carrol usc Era and
Speaker 1: USC had all those rock Star players and all that
Speaker 1: I picked up Alex. Uh, they were playing Notre Dame
Speaker 1: was big Notre Dame USC game, big rivalry game at
Speaker 1: the Colosseum in l A. And I picked up Alex
Speaker 1: from the train station to give him that final push
Speaker 1: to the to the Colosseum, and we got stuck in
Speaker 1: a horrific traffic traffic jam that was just we We
Speaker 1: didn't think we were gonna be able to even make
Speaker 1: it to the goddamn stadium the way things were going. Um,
Speaker 1: So we were stuck in an intersection, you know, trying
Speaker 1: to turn left into the place we need to go,
Speaker 1: and then we had to turn right to go to
Speaker 1: the good parking lot. So we're stuck there, bumper to
Speaker 1: bumper there's a traffic cop that's there. Alex is so upset.
Speaker 1: I think this is the Russian blood in him. He
Speaker 1: rolls down the window and starts cursing at the the
Speaker 1: police traffic officer. Now keep in mind, it's my fucking car, right,
Speaker 1: it's my car, my license plate, and he just is
Speaker 1: giving this person the business about how they're terrible at
Speaker 1: their job. Now, everything he said was right, they were
Speaker 1: terrible at their job. But I was I still remember that,
Speaker 1: you know, he said, Alx, what are you doing. They're
Speaker 1: not gonna come after you. They're gonna come after me.
Speaker 1: But hey, those are my Alex stories. So rest in peace.
Speaker 1: Too bad that that locker room story didn't have social
Speaker 1: media with it, because that would have been great to
Speaker 1: see him videotaped. Oh my god, guess I I yeah,
Speaker 1: he he had some great moments. I also, I mean
Speaker 1: I got kicked out of several locker rooms that if
Speaker 1: we only had Twitter, I could have become a viral sensation,
Speaker 1: all of us back in those days. The ship that
Speaker 1: happened before social media, that players got away with because
Speaker 1: nobody called them out on their bullshit, is amazed. Daryl
Speaker 1: Strawberry and the Dug Hunt. Well, yeah you, Darryl. You
Speaker 1: can go down the list of of of nonsense that
Speaker 1: I I witnessed that you know, in today's world, no chance,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, those guys would be just hung out
Speaker 1: to dry and it would be wild. Be sure to
Speaker 1: catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
Speaker 1: two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
Speaker 1: and the I Heart Radio app. Alright, anyways, moving on
Speaker 1: from the bingo card of death everything in the kitchen sink,
Speaker 1: It's time now for your obligatory Mallard Kitchen Update. Guest,
Speaker 1: Gun you ready for this? Yeah? I I did my
Speaker 1: best to uh to provide you with some some aid.
Speaker 1: That is a lie. I provide your your wife with
Speaker 1: some aid and some some advice by someone I know,
Speaker 1: dear to my heart. Yum, I don't know if that
Speaker 1: came to fruition. I want to see how this all
Speaker 1: turned out for you. Yeah. So, I think the term
Speaker 1: is you took me for a ride because you said
Speaker 1: from the last this is bullshit. Let's not let me explain, dummy.
Speaker 1: So last week you you've definitely led me a ray.
Speaker 1: You deliberately misled me because you made it seem like
Speaker 1: you knew somebody at this this crappy insurance company that's
Speaker 1: sucking me over. You knew somebody that I could like,
Speaker 1: you had an insider, like somebody on the board. That's
Speaker 1: what That's the way you made it. See I did.
Speaker 1: And then I found out that he left to go
Speaker 1: to a different agency. Yeah. So so I feel like
Speaker 1: I was deceived because I I told my wife, I said,
Speaker 1: you she didn't listen to the podcast all the time.
Speaker 1: I said, you're not gonna believe this. My man Gascon's
Speaker 1: got a guy. I think we're good, and so, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like but then then it turned out it was
Speaker 1: your thumb was on the scale. You know, you're manipulating
Speaker 1: U situation. So, but it was very nice to talk
Speaker 1: to you. Want to say, who you recommended I talked
Speaker 1: to Yeah, the Chief, Yeah I recommended you. Now my
Speaker 1: wife called the Chief, loves the Chief. We should all
Speaker 1: get together. I'd rather have dinner with him. I'll buy
Speaker 1: him tacos. I'll buy the Chief tacos. I was not
Speaker 1: buy you tacos. How about that? Wait, you lost the
Speaker 1: bet to me, though, I'll buy him. I like him
Speaker 1: more than you. He coil listeners did not download the
Speaker 1: required amount, and therefore I want the bed well again.
Speaker 1: I think that is also misleading and trying, you know,
Speaker 1: using diversionary tactics, which I know all about because I
Speaker 1: created this versionary tactics. But but but no, the podcast
Speaker 1: did better than the normal podcast, so I feel like
Speaker 1: that's a win. No, and regardless, um, you can buy
Speaker 1: us both tacos. It's all good. I'm down for it.
Speaker 1: I mean, he wanted to know why your wife was
Speaker 1: more engaging than you were, and I just said, I
Speaker 1: got no answer for it. He's an introvert. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: picked my spots. My wife's always you know, she's not
Speaker 1: always like that, but when in public she is. Yeah
Speaker 1: she is. Rob Parker's party, she was all about it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: People love her. Absolutely, they were. It's wonderful. Serious. I mean,
Speaker 1: I they were asking jobs just because of her, maybe
Speaker 1: because of her, maybe because of me. Here we go,
Speaker 1: no stop, it's just you know, I mean I could
Speaker 1: squad a lot. I just didn't know I had to
Speaker 1: squad a human ing the side of six ft five
Speaker 1: in to sixty and Ben Maller. But here I am,
Speaker 1: you know what I am? I am the left tackle
Speaker 1: with They call me the pancake maker because I have
Speaker 1: so many pancake blocks. And then all you have to
Speaker 1: do is you can crawl through the hole. I opened
Speaker 1: up the A and the B gap, and I get
Speaker 1: rid of all those people that are trying to obstruct
Speaker 1: your path. You know anything about football, you know that
Speaker 1: a left tackle would not be on the A and
Speaker 1: B gap. Dummy, so unbelievable. Anyway, analogy should I have
Speaker 1: use you want to you? You should have said that
Speaker 1: you blocked the weak side, the blind side, and you're
Speaker 1: also the lead block no matter what comes. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you are such a technical dick. So it's our the
Speaker 1: obligatory malcause you had me. You had us talk to
Speaker 1: you the chief, your your old man who and apparently
Speaker 1: this happened to him. The same thing that happened to me,
Speaker 1: pretty much happened to him, and he had the same
Speaker 1: situation in But then he told me that that did
Speaker 1: not have a happy ending. That I was just trying
Speaker 1: to understand, because obviously I couldn't see your house, but
Speaker 1: I was trying to I talked to him about it
Speaker 1: and understanding how in the world you can actually even
Speaker 1: identify prior to thirty days expiring that kind of damage
Speaker 1: to your house, and you really can't outside of a
Speaker 1: major disaster with water seeping onto the floor and you
Speaker 1: being barefoot, it's hard to identify any kind of leaks
Speaker 1: in the wall like that. Yeah, and if you missed
Speaker 1: the previous podcast, I had a leak in the wall.
Speaker 1: I thought it was the refrigerator and it turned out
Speaker 1: to be a leak in the wall. And then the insurance,
Speaker 1: these opportunities, these hustlers, these shysters at the insurance, They're like, well,
Speaker 1: it was more than a month, so we don't have
Speaker 1: to pay anything, so I have no kitchen and the
Speaker 1: the update. Get that just just bullshit. You have reported
Speaker 1: the I still don't understand they're weasels. But apparently they
Speaker 1: put it in the contract and they you know, we
Speaker 1: all signed anything they put in front of us. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I mean, it's we all do it.
Speaker 1: You signed a car, you sign away your life. And
Speaker 1: my friends, my friend Lee who works in the car business,
Speaker 1: said you could you could sign that paperwork and in
Speaker 1: the fine print can say we can repossess your car
Speaker 1: in two years, even if you've paid all of it
Speaker 1: and you'd sign away that. It's just like when people
Speaker 1: sign for mortgages. They don't know this, but a bank
Speaker 1: or an investor can look into your financials ten years
Speaker 1: down the road because you signed some disclosures that allowed
Speaker 1: you to do that. So yeah, it's it's it's it's
Speaker 1: crazy towns. So but as far as the update, there
Speaker 1: is no update. Did you appeal, Well, we are appealing.
Speaker 1: That was your your advice and your old man, So
Speaker 1: we are appealing. But the we we've been trying to
Speaker 1: get a contractor to start working so we can live
Speaker 1: our lives normally. Again everything's upside down. That and one
Speaker 1: thing I've noticed about the contractors not in a big hurry. No,
Speaker 1: not a rush. You know, la la la la, la
Speaker 1: la la. They're driving in the slow land. We want
Speaker 1: to drive on the Autobahn and they're in the slow
Speaker 1: lane going you know, it's a Sunday drive for them.
Speaker 1: So I had a couple of one contractor came out.
Speaker 1: I showed him the damage. Nice guy, good guy. I
Speaker 1: don't think he's in any hurry to do anything. He
Speaker 1: still hasn't given us an estimated how much is gonna
Speaker 1: cost now? Blind Scott advised me. He said, I need
Speaker 1: to hire each individual person. I'll save money that way.
Speaker 1: So I'm thinking we might have to do that. You
Speaker 1: hire a floor person to dry drywall person, a kitchen
Speaker 1: cabinet person, a kitchen counter person. Uh, and you go
Speaker 1: that way, and that's how you do. You save money
Speaker 1: that way. I think there's some silver lining to all this,
Speaker 1: And I don't want to play the role as a rat,
Speaker 1: but I guess I can do it here. Um, I
Speaker 1: know firsthand that that this kitchen needs to be updated,
Speaker 1: and there's someone, there's someone inside that house that has
Speaker 1: one of that kitchen to be redone for months and
Speaker 1: months and months and years. It's finally gonna happen because
Speaker 1: of this. So I think there's some positive spent all this. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes what you do is I don't know
Speaker 1: if you know this, but you budget for things like this.
Speaker 1: You know, you look for cost overruns and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: all those things you're supposed to do as an adult. Um,
Speaker 1: we did none of that. We were planning on doing this,
Speaker 1: all right, and now you are. You know what, you
Speaker 1: weren't planning on having a wife. You weren't planning on
Speaker 1: having a family. Weren't planning on having a house, and
Speaker 1: damn it, then you're having all of it. So you
Speaker 1: know you're doing the damn kitchen. So can we put
Speaker 1: some granite top on the kitchen? Uh? Can we have?
Speaker 1: I'll tell you it will look a lot different than
Speaker 1: to look before. I hope, So I hope the cooking
Speaker 1: is much better too. Wow, I'm just making an observation.
Speaker 1: You know, I've been a several Christmas parties now and
Speaker 1: uh still you know, still waiting for that that flaming
Speaker 1: on you're Let me tell you something, you're so snocker
Speaker 1: when you go to those parties. You don't remember anything.
Speaker 1: I do remember a little bit, you know. I'm happy
Speaker 1: that your wife actually introduced her girlfriend to Brian family.
Speaker 1: By the way, that's a that's a great story and
Speaker 1: it keeps on the long tradition of update anchors at
Speaker 1: the ben Mellor House on Christmas. Christmas Steve, Yeah, a
Speaker 1: bunch of Philanderers that coming to my house here, amateur
Speaker 1: casanova was on on on the prowl, because I would
Speaker 1: be honest, I think both men and the women at
Speaker 1: that party who are single are on the prowl both sides.
Speaker 1: But yeah, nothing wrong with this party is like the
Speaker 1: it's like the Venus flytrap, you know, with these stories
Speaker 1: and all that. Yeah, yeah, exactly who knew. I'm just
Speaker 1: sitting by the fire and waiting for the damn thing
Speaker 1: to get over with. But everyone else is lovey dovey,
Speaker 1: right line and dine, lovebirds, the Dance of Romance, all
Speaker 1: that crap going on. So but anyway, but so that's
Speaker 1: there's no update on the kitchen. And thanks to some
Speaker 1: of the militia that reached out, I appreciate. We had
Speaker 1: a couple of people that were in the construction business
Speaker 1: that said, hey, I can help you out. We're good
Speaker 1: for now, but tune in next week. Maybe I will
Speaker 1: revisit that we might do that. How are there was
Speaker 1: so much there was so much panic with your itch
Speaker 1: and I got emails, I got Instagram direct messages and
Speaker 1: I got Twitter direct messages asking for your contact info
Speaker 1: for this. I'm like, well, what the hell is wrong?
Speaker 1: This is Ben Mallard, This isn't like, this isn't you
Speaker 1: Since you have no no fans, um, let me explain
Speaker 1: how this works. We have a very small group called
Speaker 1: the Mallew Militia. It is an elite group of people
Speaker 1: that are part of this. Uh, it's a special group.
Speaker 1: It's like the A team, right, we love it when
Speaker 1: a plan comes together. We are a crack commando unit,
Speaker 1: the Mallew Militia, and we are living in the underground
Speaker 1: of different cities and occasionally we get active. So what
Speaker 1: I did You don't even realize. This is the nuance
Speaker 1: I used. Is I sounded the bugle, and the cavalry
Speaker 1: right the infantry charged in like knights and shining armor
Speaker 1: to save my my kitchen. And they heard me with
Speaker 1: my bugle saying I have a problem. I need some help,
Speaker 1: and hoppity hop right at these people came right out.
Speaker 1: They sprinted, Okay, they sprinted to to help out. And
Speaker 1: that's what the great thing about the malam Lisha. Everyone
Speaker 1: says we're a bunch of losers and all that, but
Speaker 1: we got everybody, rich, poor, you name it, and they
Speaker 1: were all there to help. Seldom do they not come
Speaker 1: through for me. So screw you. Unbelievable. Well, they couldn't
Speaker 1: get you into uh, they couldn't get you in a
Speaker 1: week seventeens of fair between San Francisco and Seattle, So
Speaker 1: shame on them. Sham. Well, that's the incompetent Seahawks PR department,
Speaker 1: so dial long distance. Some bad actor Gascon is making
Speaker 1: me consider possibly changing my cell phone number. I've had
Speaker 1: the same cell phone number for probably thirty years. Maybe not,
Speaker 1: but I am considering changing my cell phone number because
Speaker 1: I've been getting random text messages and phone calls from
Speaker 1: people who are hands of the show. Yeah that was
Speaker 1: not me. I don't know who the hell is doing that,
Speaker 1: but that was not man. Somebody has been giving out
Speaker 1: my phone number, and um, you know, I love the
Speaker 1: people listen to the show, but uh, not on my
Speaker 1: personal phone. I've given less than five listeners have my
Speaker 1: phone number in the years I've been doing this. There
Speaker 1: are less than five listeners. I can name them. Doc Mike,
Speaker 1: that was a mistake. He was going to jail. That
Speaker 1: was a mistake. And he's still alive. He still calls me.
Speaker 1: He's not calling me now because he's an ecuador and
Speaker 1: he didn't want to pay for the longest phone call.
Speaker 1: I just gave my phone number to Jay Scoop, that's
Speaker 1: a good, great guy from Seattle, and we had a
Speaker 1: you know, we text. I'm fine with him texting me, Uh,
Speaker 1: Paul and his lady friend Aliyah, who live in Maine
Speaker 1: alias from Brooklyn. They got my number, although they only
Speaker 1: got my number because they were supposed to send me
Speaker 1: a hat they never sent me. Um, I give my
Speaker 1: card and then they saw I can youive us an address?
Speaker 1: I said, I'll give you the hard and then they
Speaker 1: I'm still waiting for that hat. But they're cool. I
Speaker 1: liked Emilie is funny and she's cool and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: So I don't mind those people. But that's four uh,
Speaker 1: to my knowledge. I and maybe I'm forgetting, But I
Speaker 1: don't recall giving out my number to any other listener
Speaker 1: to the show, any female that I don't know in
Speaker 1: real life, any any females at all. Well, Eli is
Speaker 1: a female. Well, I mean that's a couple. But I meant,
Speaker 1: like any any single female. Well, why would I'm married?
Speaker 1: Why would I do that now? I mean before I
Speaker 1: was single, I didn't want my number. Did you try
Speaker 1: handing it out back in the day, Oh no, I was.
Speaker 1: I didn't because it was I was very I did
Speaker 1: a lot of issues because people think you make more
Speaker 1: money than you do and then they you know, it's
Speaker 1: the whole plus we're public figures. All your all your crap,
Speaker 1: is all your laundry is available online these days. But anyway,
Speaker 1: so the point is is, I if I didn't give
Speaker 1: you my number, don't text me, don't call me. I
Speaker 1: didn't say, hey, give me a call. Whatever. Ever, here's
Speaker 1: my number. I love the fact that you're a super
Speaker 1: fan of the show, and you know, there's a couple
Speaker 1: of people from New Jersey um have been sending me
Speaker 1: messages and whatnot. And I I like that you love
Speaker 1: the show and you're a p one and that's great.
Speaker 1: I appreciate your enthusiasm. And I do not want to
Speaker 1: be a dick. Okay, I don't want to be a dick,
Speaker 1: but if this continues, I'm either gonna have to change
Speaker 1: my number. I'm gonna have to somehow get I heeart
Speaker 1: media security involved in this too, you know, for you know,
Speaker 1: why are you calling this and whatnot? And I don't
Speaker 1: want to do that. I don't just block me in trouble.
Speaker 1: I don't think these people are trying to do this
Speaker 1: in a mean way. I think they they think that
Speaker 1: this is just the way to do. But I'm advising
Speaker 1: you not to do. Okay, what time of these people
Speaker 1: call or text. Um, it's random, you know, it's a
Speaker 1: it seems will be a lot of time in the
Speaker 1: nighttime hours, the evening hours or whatever, but it's in
Speaker 1: the afternoon. I'm it's east these A lot of these
Speaker 1: guys are on the East coast. So I'm trying to
Speaker 1: figure out who about my number? Blind Scott, No, he
Speaker 1: didn't have my number. Uh weed man, hippie. Nah, oh,
Speaker 1: he definitely doesn't have my number. I call him. I've
Speaker 1: called him a few times from a block number. I
Speaker 1: don't want him to have my Why don't you just
Speaker 1: block the numbers that are calling or texting you? Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I can't do that. But that's that's also
Speaker 1: annoying to have to because you know, it's paying the
Speaker 1: ass they have those turbo was it turbo calls or
Speaker 1: robot calls or whatever that is. So that's my Um,
Speaker 1: that's my So you got some Stockers, you got some
Speaker 1: I mean, I know you had fanboys. I just didn't
Speaker 1: know how big it was. So that's fine. It's a
Speaker 1: lot of hoods. But though Gascon like when I was
Speaker 1: growing up listening, like if I was a fan of
Speaker 1: Howard Stern and if somebody gave me Stern's number, I
Speaker 1: would be like, I would be afraid to call him.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I wouldn't look at it as an open
Speaker 1: invitation to call him. Well you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but see this just kind of goes with your persona
Speaker 1: on air about being relatable and air quotes being part
Speaker 1: of the common man. Solid a stick that you throw
Speaker 1: out there like people are are intoxicated by it. They
Speaker 1: get drunk on it, and they feel like you're the
Speaker 1: buddy that's next doors. They just wanna give you a call,
Speaker 1: rub some elbows, buy you a drink, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, lo and behold. Like Ben Maller is
Speaker 1: an introvert. He doesn't leave his house unless his wife
Speaker 1: or I take him out, or you know, to go
Speaker 1: to a fucking funeral for Russia or or you know,
Speaker 1: or well, no, listen all that stuff. I do treat
Speaker 1: the radio show like it's um manual labor. Yeah. For
Speaker 1: for me, it actually is labor. I bring my lunch
Speaker 1: pail and uh, you know, I like to think that
Speaker 1: I eat truck stop food just like the truckers, you know,
Speaker 1: the trash men are out there doing their thing. And
Speaker 1: all that stuff, and the people that are busting their
Speaker 1: asks driving those eighteen wheelers and whatnot working in warehouses.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, I mean, I you know, when I'm
Speaker 1: when I'm in my my personal space with my wife
Speaker 1: and I get a a text message out of the blue,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, what happened? Maybe there was some big,
Speaker 1: big story. I should probably check that out. And then
Speaker 1: I click on my phone and it's dump Truck Dexter
Speaker 1: who's texting me. I'm like, well, I mean, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: sure Dexter is a nice person, if that's even his
Speaker 1: real name, But I don't know that I really want
Speaker 1: to hear from dump dump truck Dexter right now, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. That's pretty good though. I'm encouraged
Speaker 1: by this. This is a new year in the New
Speaker 1: Year's new youth, so I appreciate the uh. I like
Speaker 1: the people there just have the balls to go out
Speaker 1: and reach out to you. That's that's pretty irre remarkable.
Speaker 1: I would never do something like that. It must be
Speaker 1: that whole New Jersey thing. Mostly, it's just something must
Speaker 1: that's like a pot of people in New Jersey that
Speaker 1: have my number, All of a sudden may we knew
Speaker 1: we were so big in Jersey. I had no idea. Well,
Speaker 1: maybe one of your brothers started working with you and
Speaker 1: had well you know, I was thinking, my I have
Speaker 1: an uncle that is not a fan of the show.
Speaker 1: But um, I I don't really talk to him that much.
Speaker 1: But he mentioned that there were some some people in
Speaker 1: Jersey that were fans of the show and m Brooklyn
Speaker 1: and um they were actually this is good. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't have time. How much time do we have,
Speaker 1: gues do we have to hurry up here? We'll get
Speaker 1: your story in. Come on, alright, So you have some
Speaker 1: uncle that doesn't like your show? Uh? No, you know,
Speaker 1: he's kind of I'm not very religious. He's very religious,
Speaker 1: you know that kind of what kind of religion, but Jewish.
Speaker 1: She's very religious. And he's like, you know, hardcore and
Speaker 1: you know, not hard hardcore like you know, So does
Speaker 1: he hate you because your wife is is Catholic? No, No,
Speaker 1: he's he's cool. Every it was nice about that, but
Speaker 1: she's uh, I can't say this, but anyway, you know
Speaker 1: the derogatory to every everyone does it. But anyway, Um, no,
Speaker 1: So my uncle's cool and anyway, he had some people
Speaker 1: that were studying to become rabbis, that some young guys
Speaker 1: that came out to stay with his house. I gets
Speaker 1: it's something they do. They tore the country or what.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was all. I don't know
Speaker 1: all the ins and outs. Um, so he calls me
Speaker 1: up and these people like saw his last name and
Speaker 1: they the same last name as me, and they said
Speaker 1: that you were it and they said yes, and then
Speaker 1: so he I don't know if he gave my number
Speaker 1: out to these guys because they because it's all from
Speaker 1: like the New York A lot of these calls are
Speaker 1: from the New York tri state area, like New Jersey,
Speaker 1: New York, that area. So I'm wondering if it's some
Speaker 1: of those guys that got the number from him. And
Speaker 1: I don't know why he would give it out though,
Speaker 1: I don't think he would give it out right. Why
Speaker 1: would you give out my number? Yeah, it's very odd.
Speaker 1: I can't figure. I don't. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1: Did you ask the person how they got your number? Yes?
Speaker 1: Oh I did, hold on, let me go. I asked
Speaker 1: my guy dump truck, Darryl. I said, how did you guys,
Speaker 1: how did you get my number? He said from a friend?
Speaker 1: Is this Big Ben? My favorite host? I'm a die
Speaker 1: hard fan. He said, yeah, well, see, your voicemail doesn't
Speaker 1: have you talking on it, so you should just deny that.
Speaker 1: You should just said no, this is not Ben and
Speaker 1: then block the number. He wouldn't have been none of
Speaker 1: the wiser. Yeah, and again he's like answering questions about
Speaker 1: the show during you know, he's like texting me during
Speaker 1: the show saying, hey, I think the answer is Anthony
Speaker 1: Lynn or something like him. That's sucking awful. You need
Speaker 1: to block that number. Yeah. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: a dick, but you know what you're on. You're on
Speaker 1: a fucking podcast right now saying hey, if I didn't
Speaker 1: give you your the number, don't contact all right, I'll
Speaker 1: block him. Done block. Unbelievable, Such a prima donna. I
Speaker 1: need so whenever, whenever we get our next TV gig,
Speaker 1: I need twenty percent from you off of the top,
Speaker 1: not on the back, and I need it off the
Speaker 1: top next TV g Yeah, because it's gonna happen. Yeah alright,
Speaker 1: well maybe, well, but there's enough TV channels now where
Speaker 1: I think they could put us on a like one
Speaker 1: in the morning or something like that. And uh, you know,
Speaker 1: why not anywhere you can do that, right, They can
Speaker 1: bring on the fourth Letter network can do that. They
Speaker 1: bring on talent and just bury them in an overnight
Speaker 1: hour like two or three o'clock in the morning. They
Speaker 1: pay him hundreds of thousands of dollars. I know, I
Speaker 1: know people were we're saying, why don't you simulcast the
Speaker 1: radio show? Hey, I don't think the management would allow that,
Speaker 1: but be I don't know. I mean, if they paid enough,
Speaker 1: I would be open. How that's easy to I just
Speaker 1: put a camera in the studio and yeah, I talked
Speaker 1: to you about watching that. I talked to you about
Speaker 1: this last year. Yeah, and you're just like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be on camera radio, you know. And
Speaker 1: it's I feel like part of the magic of radio
Speaker 1: is you don't really know what's going on in the
Speaker 1: magic radio boss. You think you know, but when you
Speaker 1: put cameras in there, suddenly you know. Yeah, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But to be fair, you've got a
Speaker 1: lot of people they're driving it at those late hours,
Speaker 1: or they just can't sleep. I think if they had
Speaker 1: an opportunity to watch you and watch the show. I
Speaker 1: think they would do that. Yeah, but when you know TV,
Speaker 1: it's lights, camera action, you know that whole thing. And
Speaker 1: cheat just to me that you don't want to get
Speaker 1: dressed up, you don't want to comb your hair? No,
Speaker 1: I listen to everyone's got a price, and I would
Speaker 1: certainly be willing to clean up if the price was right.
Speaker 1: I think we all would. But there's that there's that thing.
Speaker 1: There was a study, that famous study the I think
Speaker 1: it was the the Hawthorne effect right where people observed
Speaker 1: they their behavior changes there, they're increasing. What's the other
Speaker 1: trying to get the other study off the top of
Speaker 1: my head, um where oh, when you put a camera
Speaker 1: changes everything? You know what I'm saying. I forget the
Speaker 1: there's a study that was done years ago about I
Speaker 1: forget the term off to look it up. But but anyway, alright,
Speaker 1: So glamour shots gas guard. Yeah, so you are such
Speaker 1: a Hollywood fuck that you have these glamor shots. You're
Speaker 1: a man. You women do the glamor shots, not men, No,
Speaker 1: I mean I think we all do it, I think,
Speaker 1: And then you send them to my my wife like, hey,
Speaker 1: look at this she got She was asking for him
Speaker 1: and she the audio was great. I sent her a
Speaker 1: couple of voice reels and she would love those. I
Speaker 1: think I got glowing remarks from her. Um, And I
Speaker 1: think in a roundabout way, this actually motivated you to
Speaker 1: activate your Instagram account. So it's kind of all going
Speaker 1: back to me not doing it for me, but doing
Speaker 1: it for you, the uplifting, the motivating, the encouragement, the poking,
Speaker 1: the prodding, like I am the doctor that's not certified
Speaker 1: as an m D for you, Like I'm not a
Speaker 1: PhD in medicine, but I am your PhD for your career.
Speaker 1: And I think you owe me a round of applause.
Speaker 1: I think you owe me a lot, because a lot
Speaker 1: you're like, you're you're no different than weed man hands.
Speaker 1: You get your hand out asking for stuff you've done nothing.
Speaker 1: I think I haven't gotten paid at all for doing this.
Speaker 1: I think none of this. It's been a nuisance. It's
Speaker 1: been a pain in my ass. It's you're giving me
Speaker 1: a nightmare having to do this show every week with you. Listen,
Speaker 1: it's uh so fifty two posts so far on your
Speaker 1: Instagram account, which is great, Um, and you're actually posting
Speaker 1: pictures of where you're at who you're with. You had
Speaker 1: a fat head picture with you and and Coop and Eddie,
Speaker 1: which is great a couple trying to I'm trying to
Speaker 1: up my game. It's tough, man. I'm an ugly middle
Speaker 1: aged talk show so that doesn't overnight talk show. I
Speaker 1: would think any guys that listen to show are going
Speaker 1: on there look at booty models, t n A. That's
Speaker 1: what they want to see. They want to see me. Well,
Speaker 1: do you go on Instagram? What do you look at
Speaker 1: it for? I don't really go on Instagram very much.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to, but I ever where I look, there's
Speaker 1: somebody doing yoga in uh in yoga pants, bending over
Speaker 1: and showing their ask to everybody. That's what That's what
Speaker 1: it is. Maybe your followers want to do that, Maybe
Speaker 1: they want to see you in yoga. Well I said
Speaker 1: that the other day that I have to get my
Speaker 1: banana hammock out and have some fun with that. But
Speaker 1: I haven't done that yet. We can see on the
Speaker 1: rooftop of like uh, you know, Vasquez Rocks or or
Speaker 1: somewhere else on the mountain side, just doing uh, doing
Speaker 1: nude yoga and tai chi. Ben Maller overnight radio host. Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: So just I forget the name of the study, but
Speaker 1: I got a little clip here that I I found
Speaker 1: on the internet, Guesco. I was just google it, and
Speaker 1: it says that social science, research and folk wisdom agree
Speaker 1: that being watch change his behavior. When people know they're
Speaker 1: being recorded, they tend to clean up their act, that
Speaker 1: they steal, less, act nicer, that kind of stuff. So
Speaker 1: that means, well, I guess that works for you then,
Speaker 1: because with with television, Yeah, because television is more formatted
Speaker 1: and it's more I mean, like I can't like pick
Speaker 1: my nose and uh, you know, and I can't lay
Speaker 1: back like I'm in a lazy boy chair if I'm
Speaker 1: on TV. Although Mike Francesa did all those things, right,
Speaker 1: Mike Francesa did all those things. He didn't care about
Speaker 1: any of that. And well, in the studio that you
Speaker 1: work out of usual it's darkly lit, yes, yes, and
Speaker 1: TV would be bright lights and oh man, yeah, nose
Speaker 1: powdered and you'd have to be a suit and were
Speaker 1: nice shoes and take off your hat. Well, I don't
Speaker 1: have to take your hat off. You can leave the
Speaker 1: hat on it. Well, it depends, well, we'll see whatever
Speaker 1: we negotiate, we'll make sure that you're dressed accordingly, because
Speaker 1: you're like, unless they're giving me a marv Albert rugg
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wear a hat. You know, wait, why just
Speaker 1: because you know are you? Are you receiving pretty bad? Well? No,
Speaker 1: I mean it's fine, I mean it's whatever. But you know,
Speaker 1: my head, guy, is it a bad comb over? I'm
Speaker 1: known as a head that's bad, bad col cobo or
Speaker 1: whatever you comb over? That's fine. Alright, movie, So you
Speaker 1: got these glamoursho why do you do How much do
Speaker 1: you spend? My wife said, you spend five grand on
Speaker 1: these glamors? Spend five grand on that? You did not nothing,
Speaker 1: not even in the thousands. Why would it be in
Speaker 1: the thousands? Listen, because professionally done glamour shots in l
Speaker 1: A where it's Hollywood and all that. Yeah, people want
Speaker 1: to see a couple of head shots. They want to
Speaker 1: match a name with the face, they want to match
Speaker 1: a name with a voice, and so you gotta do
Speaker 1: these things. You're gonna have you ever thought about doing
Speaker 1: a funny head shot to try to stand out from
Speaker 1: the crowd. Yeah, there a funny outfit or something like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did take a couple of pictures that were like that.
Speaker 1: One of them, the photographer had some some southern attire
Speaker 1: and so he's like, hey, you got your beard on
Speaker 1: right now, why don't you shave it? And I had
Speaker 1: a handlebar mustache, look like a great redneck. It was
Speaker 1: a great redneck look. But you are your family is
Speaker 1: a bunch of rednecks, so it would make sense. That's
Speaker 1: not true. I got family from Los Angeles, family from Boston.
Speaker 1: There's nothing from the down South area. So there's some
Speaker 1: rednecks out in the burbs of Boston in correct. Well life,
Speaker 1: come on, not not my family. They were, they were
Speaker 1: up there. They were like the Cambridge area there is.
Speaker 1: It's a joke. Cambridge, a little Harvard money there, a
Speaker 1: little royalty. Damn it. You're yes, you are. I hate you.
Speaker 1: What's you don't like head shots? You don't like the
Speaker 1: glamour shots? You don't like He's ridiculous. It's that you're
Speaker 1: like a woman or somebody but a dude getting glamour
Speaker 1: shots and then you're like so proud of them, which
Speaker 1: I don't understand. I'm not. It's one thing to do
Speaker 1: them because you have to do them, but then to
Speaker 1: pump your chest out and be like a peacock. I mean,
Speaker 1: what are we doing with that peacock nonsense? I don't
Speaker 1: need that. First of all, I'm not on on all
Speaker 1: these social media platforms like you're on. Second of all,
Speaker 1: I don't broadcast all these head shots and all these
Speaker 1: yes you do your hell, dummy, you're talking to a
Speaker 1: microphone right now. You're the one that brought it up.
Speaker 1: You thought it would be low as that you are,
Speaker 1: so you are so flamboyant. Wanted me like a pinata,
Speaker 1: and I just said, fine, Like I will be your
Speaker 1: piniata for the day. I'll be battering ram. It's fine
Speaker 1: if you want to what guest gans like. He prances around,
Speaker 1: he's like on the catwalk when he's in the studio.
Speaker 1: Look at my clothing, hallelu yeah, look at this. Well,
Speaker 1: because I'm the best dressed guy in here, that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean ship. There you go, see the narcissist rags. That's
Speaker 1: why guys got like holes in their jeans and barely
Speaker 1: wearing shoes and have like a cut up, ripped up
Speaker 1: shirt and it's wrinkled. What what you know? Most jobs
Speaker 1: you get in media are not because of what you
Speaker 1: look like or how good you are. No, no, no no,
Speaker 1: that's bullshit. That's true. Everything everywhere I've been, every job
Speaker 1: I've gotten, I either you knew somebody. It's never been
Speaker 1: because of my talent. I have no talent because I
Speaker 1: knew somebody. There's plenty of people that got worked because
Speaker 1: of the way they looked. There are people on TV
Speaker 1: and radio who are god awful who were on there
Speaker 1: because either their agent knows somebody, or they know somewhere
Speaker 1: because they look fantastic, or they played in football fifty
Speaker 1: years ago or whatever that Those are the other ways
Speaker 1: you get on every in the NBA or whatever. What
Speaker 1: do you want for me? I'm just playing the I'm
Speaker 1: playing the game like you told me to. So you're
Speaker 1: a ray of sunshine, is what you are? Thank you
Speaker 1: very much. Finally, uh compliment from Ben Mallory A ray
Speaker 1: of sunshine right next to the nuclear reactor for Chernobyl.
Speaker 1: Yes that's what you are, alright, So on the Graham
Speaker 1: real quick. So I'm on Instagram now is Gascon reference there?
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to figure it out and I'm just
Speaker 1: I guess you just have to post a lot of photos.
Speaker 1: That's it, just post a lot of photos. I have noticed,
Speaker 1: Gastar that people seem pretty nice on Instagram, which I like.
Speaker 1: Twitter's a cesspool everyone, it's an asshole, fuck you, you
Speaker 1: know and all this. I'm going to war now with
Speaker 1: Houston again over the cheating astros. But on Instagram, everyone's
Speaker 1: been pretty nice. They're they're pretty cool, and they seem
Speaker 1: to be happy with the dumb photos I'm posting there.
Speaker 1: No one's calling me out for being ugly, so I'm
Speaker 1: happy about that, and I'm I'm good. So you got
Speaker 1: So you've got photos on there, you have videos that
Speaker 1: you can post, and you also have Instagram Stories if
Speaker 1: you like to as well, which are basically like twenty
Speaker 1: four hour snippets of an event that you can post
Speaker 1: on there as well too. So if you clicked on
Speaker 1: your face, there's a plus sign on it and allows
Speaker 1: you to post a video or a picture. Maximum length
Speaker 1: is fifteen seconds long, but you can post as many
Speaker 1: as possible within a twenty four hour period. So if
Speaker 1: you want to get someone a quick little you know,
Speaker 1: quick little I don't want to say, how do you
Speaker 1: want to say? It? Like a little flirtation of what
Speaker 1: you're doing for the day, A little fling you can
Speaker 1: provide them with that. That's good. That's good a girl.
Speaker 1: So you got three different ways, So there's a way
Speaker 1: I can do that, and then but that will be
Speaker 1: time sensitive, and then it will be no one will
Speaker 1: go back. And if I say, hey, coming up on
Speaker 1: the show tonight and I put that on Instagram, that'll
Speaker 1: be good for about three hours and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, that's you know, right, who's gonna watch it?
Speaker 1: So if you want to do an Instagram story, you
Speaker 1: can do that. It's a great tease to what you're
Speaker 1: gonna do later on that night, and people stay tuned,
Speaker 1: they'll be engaged. So yeah, a couple. So I could
Speaker 1: like record fifteen seconds of you blowing kisses to yourself
Speaker 1: and then I could put that on Instagram. Actually, you
Speaker 1: can do it for a lot longer than that. They're
Speaker 1: just in fifteen second increments, so yes, okay, maximize that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, So I'm excited about the Instagram and I
Speaker 1: please follow me. I gotta I just started paying attention
Speaker 1: to this. So I have an embarrassingly low number of
Speaker 1: people that follow me on Twitter. Based on the amount
Speaker 1: of people that download this podcast and listen to the
Speaker 1: radio show. It's quite embarrassing, but I'm okay with me
Speaker 1: because I'm new to Twitter and I don't have a
Speaker 1: big booty and boobs and all that stuff. So that's
Speaker 1: usually how you get a lot of followers on Twitter.
Speaker 1: But are we fun to be like an Instagram influencer?
Speaker 1: You know, you get paid for that. How many people
Speaker 1: do I have to have follow me? Because right now
Speaker 1: I have like five? How many people do I need
Speaker 1: to become an Instagram, um, like influencer and just get paid.
Speaker 1: I heard there's a Super Bowl commercial that's coming out
Speaker 1: this year with mostly influencers. Yeah. But see, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter how many followers you have at the moment.
Speaker 1: It's about like your kind of products. So you're in
Speaker 1: the sports and entertainment industry, you can easily reach out
Speaker 1: to someone that's online for social media purposes and say, hey,
Speaker 1: this is the medium that I work in. Let me
Speaker 1: sponsor or sponsor me, let me advertise your product or
Speaker 1: whatever it may be, and um, you'll watch my audience grow.
Speaker 1: So you can always reference your Twitter account and your
Speaker 1: Facebook account too, So if people just are looking only
Speaker 1: at your Instagram account just say hey, this is brand new.
Speaker 1: You can populate that information to the other social media.
Speaker 1: There you go, look at you guess can All right,
Speaker 1: so pimp myself out on the gram. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you start making more money on Instagram that you do
Speaker 1: on this fucking podcast, I'll kill you. Well, if I
Speaker 1: made one dollar, would they keep more money than I
Speaker 1: make on the podcast? Pro We should change the name
Speaker 1: from the fifth Hour to the pro Bono is what
Speaker 1: we should do, is the name of the podcast. Not
Speaker 1: that I'm complaining gascon No, no, no, that would be
Speaker 1: wrong to complain. Yeah, you don't complain. No, I don't
Speaker 1: you complain. I don't I get to complain. Fox Sports
Speaker 1: Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation.
Speaker 1: Catch all of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot
Speaker 1: com and within the I Heart Radio app search f
Speaker 1: s R to listen live. You can plain all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's good at complaining. I am. I'm very modest
Speaker 1: over here and down to earth, and I don't complain,
Speaker 1: right right, You're not assuming that's what I am until
Speaker 1: you get on the national airwaves of Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 1: I'm courteous, I'm respectful. You're nothing of that, I got
Speaker 1: a very angry email from a guy in Houston, which
Speaker 1: I loved because I've been doing nothing but just attacking
Speaker 1: the astros over the last week and the guys like
Speaker 1: he's and I'm paraphrasing, he's like, you're such an asshole too,
Speaker 1: like jose Al tuo A and Bregman and he then
Speaker 1: he used a derogatory term about our friend in Brooklyn
Speaker 1: and Blair and Maine and uh, you know, you're like,
Speaker 1: you know, he's like, you're driving the short bust with
Speaker 1: the You're nice to the people to call the show
Speaker 1: and there, but you idiots and you know, use all
Speaker 1: these horrific terms to people. I call it, you know what.
Speaker 1: I'm like, You're kind of right. I like the people
Speaker 1: that call the show. I'm I'm more I'd rather hang
Speaker 1: out with them than you know, the Altuba and those
Speaker 1: other guys. Now, I'm not a I'm not a star
Speaker 1: effort like like Jerry Jones and and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm one of the things I like. I don't. I
Speaker 1: try not to canonize human beings like I don't uh,
Speaker 1: you know, teams I like. I will be enthusiastic about
Speaker 1: the players on my teams, but I try to keep
Speaker 1: that in check for the most part. But there's a
Speaker 1: lot of these other people that are just fanboys in
Speaker 1: the media and just worship these athletes, and I find
Speaker 1: that nauseating. I just I find that horrific, and so
Speaker 1: I try not to try not to do that. They
Speaker 1: wave the pompons and then they get access to future stuff,
Speaker 1: and that's how this game. Oh that's true. I would
Speaker 1: be much more successful if I kissed everyone's ass, like
Speaker 1: you know, give these guys a bubble bath like out
Speaker 1: of the media does. I would be included at these
Speaker 1: these different events and all that stuff. Wait till super
Speaker 1: Bowl Week. I'll be watching from afar here while those
Speaker 1: guys are busy drawing bubble bass for the people that
Speaker 1: are coming by selling sneakers and all that other stuff.
Speaker 1: I will be throwing no bouquets and anybody super Bowl week.
Speaker 1: So we have we have a choice here. We have
Speaker 1: a fok in the road. Giscon We can either do
Speaker 1: study this or grab bag, which are listener questions submitted
Speaker 1: by fans of the show. So which direction should we go?
Speaker 1: I think it's up to you, because I am I
Speaker 1: am running out of time. As we speak. So I
Speaker 1: think I think we should go with fan grab back.
Speaker 1: All right, grab back, we grab back. We'll study this.
Speaker 1: We'll do for next week cause Guestcon's gotta go put
Speaker 1: some lipstick on or something like that. Actual questions by
Speaker 1: actual listeners. I'll skip through this, all right. Well, here's
Speaker 1: Mark from Ottawa. He says, which would you pick? One
Speaker 1: million dollars or free food for life and the ability
Speaker 1: to eat whatever you want, always remain fit, and never
Speaker 1: have it impact your health. So I'll go first. I
Speaker 1: will take the free food for life. Now I don't
Speaker 1: even eat that much, but I would eat a hell
Speaker 1: of a lot more if it wouldn't affect my health
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't gain weight and all that stuff and
Speaker 1: and have bad you know, things happen to me because
Speaker 1: like a million dollars sounds good, but you gotta pay
Speaker 1: taxes on it and all that. So I think the
Speaker 1: free food for life and the ability to not have
Speaker 1: to worry about that impacting your health is I'd eat
Speaker 1: nothing but the cheese, steaks and the I mean, I'd
Speaker 1: eat great. No chance for me. I'm taking a million dollars.
Speaker 1: I'll take the tax hit. I will invest it. I'll
Speaker 1: buy real estate. I'll invest in the market. Real estate
Speaker 1: markets great right now. The economy is great. Stock markets tremendous.
Speaker 1: I invested the thing, and I make a million turn
Speaker 1: into a lot more than that. I'd be eating a
Speaker 1: lot of food. And if it's free food for life,
Speaker 1: I'd be giving out food to people. They'd be paying
Speaker 1: me money, so I'd make more than a million dollars.
Speaker 1: A christ from Iowa writes, and he says, where did
Speaker 1: Mark the full name Guy go? I love hearing him
Speaker 1: all call in. Let's have him and whoopee I Blair
Speaker 1: battle out and be hilarious. Well, Mark the full Name
Speaker 1: Guy moved to Medford, Oregon, Chris, and he has a
Speaker 1: day job, so he actually is working. He was homeless
Speaker 1: when he started calling the show. That's why he was
Speaker 1: so angry. But he's got a job now. His life's
Speaker 1: going well and he is not able to call his
Speaker 1: off and he stays up maybe once a week to
Speaker 1: call in. That's why he only calls in that off.
Speaker 1: Uh Dale from Lancaster City, Pennsylvania, Amish Country says, if
Speaker 1: you had to fire someone from the show, who would
Speaker 1: it be? I know who would be? No? You don't.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't, you know, I wouldn't fire anybody pretty much.
Speaker 1: Let these guys do whatever they want. They walk all
Speaker 1: over me, so I I do my own thing, they
Speaker 1: do their own thing. I don't. I wouldn't fire anybody.
Speaker 1: I've been fired. I don't want to fire anybody. I'd
Speaker 1: like some people to work better, but I wouldn't fire anybody.
Speaker 1: You know, I can understand that. Uh let's see here.
Speaker 1: Pat from Winter Park, Florida says, why do all odd
Speaker 1: numbers have the letter E in them? I don't uh
Speaker 1: loope in soap castas mallam Militia meet up Southern California.
Speaker 1: When's it's happening? I think we should schedule something. What
Speaker 1: do you think, like maybe April in like Santa Anita
Speaker 1: or something like that. What do you think that would
Speaker 1: be great? Yeah, it would be a good spot, or
Speaker 1: any I mean anywhere, if anybody's owns if you own
Speaker 1: a restaurant, you're in the militia in Southern California, own
Speaker 1: a restaurant or you you know somebody that owns the restaurant.
Speaker 1: You want us to come out and hang out your place?
Speaker 1: Let us know, you know, we'll do it. I love
Speaker 1: to do. What what were you laughing? What are you snicker?
Speaker 1: Why is it always about food? Well, where do you
Speaker 1: get to get what? You gonna go to church and
Speaker 1: get together with the Malley militia? About a casino? What about?
Speaker 1: What about Hustler's casino in Los Angeles? Compton? Yeah? Why not? Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's all meet in Compton. That's what we're gonna do.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to Compton. You said you went to
Speaker 1: a funeral in south central Los Angeles. Who cares? Well?
Speaker 1: I have been to a funeral in Sustati. But that's
Speaker 1: paying my respects to the dead. Oh boy, that was
Speaker 1: an open casket one too. I can imagine. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what a nightmare that was? All right? What else? We
Speaker 1: got a few more? Because I know you got a
Speaker 1: jam here. Let's see, I want to pick out some
Speaker 1: good ones. Mark from New Hampshire says, in honor of
Speaker 1: Sean the hood guy, what's the worst legal trouble you
Speaker 1: guys have been in. I've not been in much legal trouble. Uh.
Speaker 1: You know a few incidents have happened where I had
Speaker 1: to talk to police about stuff when I was younger,
Speaker 1: but no, I've never been yeah, No, I haven't been
Speaker 1: any legal trouble. I've been. You know, when you're back
Speaker 1: in like college, you get ship happening. Like I went
Speaker 1: to San Diego State, so cops would show up at
Speaker 1: parties and start questioning people and seeing who's under twenty
Speaker 1: one who's not. And when I was in San Jose,
Speaker 1: I was at a college. I was in junior college.
Speaker 1: Saddleback was playing in the Junior college State Championship tournament
Speaker 1: San Josette cat San Jose State, and there was no
Speaker 1: parking around the arena, and we had all this radio equipment,
Speaker 1: this big bulky radio equip man, and so uh, my
Speaker 1: my friends like, He's like, I can't park here because
Speaker 1: it's like two hour parking whatever. So he dropped the
Speaker 1: stuff off, and then when we were leaving, he wanted
Speaker 1: me to put it to save the space so we
Speaker 1: could pull up and we could put the equipment. And
Speaker 1: so I put this radio equipment from KSPR, the college
Speaker 1: radio station, out on the to save the parking place,
Speaker 1: right so no one could park there. And this woman, uh,
Speaker 1: this woman pulls up very angry. She starts backing into
Speaker 1: the parking space. She's gonna run over the equipment, right,
Speaker 1: So I go out and I'm like, I'm in a panic.
Speaker 1: I'm seeing my life flash in front of me because
Speaker 1: this is my college radio equipment. They told me that
Speaker 1: if this does not come back perfect, I might as
Speaker 1: well not come back because I'll be dead. And so
Speaker 1: this person is backing into the equipment. So I run
Speaker 1: out and I slapped my hands on the hood of
Speaker 1: the car to get them to stop. Then her kids
Speaker 1: get out and start yelling at me. She gets out,
Speaker 1: starts yelling at me. She calls the police, trying to
Speaker 1: press charges because I hit her car, and unfortunately the
Speaker 1: police officers like, well, there's no damage to the car,
Speaker 1: so he talked her out of it. But that that
Speaker 1: was one time I was like, what's going on with this? Right?
Speaker 1: That's what I say, Man, you can't get in trouble
Speaker 1: gascon though, because you're pops. Man, your pops will be like,
Speaker 1: hey yeah, even though he's no doubt about it. Uh,
Speaker 1: let's see here, Dan, and Kalamazuski says, can you rip
Speaker 1: Peyton Manning for a minute. No, we don't have that time, damn.
Speaker 1: But I will tell you The Dark Side documentary is great.
Speaker 1: It's still on YouTube. You can learn all about how
Speaker 1: Peyton Manning came back from next fusion surgery to throw
Speaker 1: fifty five double nickel touchdowns. That's right. Uh, see who
Speaker 1: else do we have? I'm trying to see what else
Speaker 1: is good here? Page down, page down? See can't read
Speaker 1: that one on the air. Uh. Here's one from Colin
Speaker 1: and Denvery says, what are your favorite sports mascots? And
Speaker 1: how does Gascon have a job. Let's take that second half, Gaston,
Speaker 1: how do you have a job? I work hard, I'm diligent,
Speaker 1: I'm nice, I'm respectful of a good idea of sports.
Speaker 1: I have a good idea of the media. I'm a
Speaker 1: former athlete. I've got two degrees, two of them that
Speaker 1: Ben does not have. This is the narcissist. I have
Speaker 1: the degree. I have two degrees guest guard, School of
Speaker 1: hard Knocks and the streets. Right, you grew up in Anaheim.
Speaker 1: I didn't grow up in anna Newport, in Irvine, very dangerous,
Speaker 1: very white collar. You know how many kills they have
Speaker 1: in Irvine Here it is a blood beat. It's one
Speaker 1: of the lowest crime rates in the entire There are
Speaker 1: so many gangs get Irvine. It's not out of Control
Speaker 1: where I grew up White not a planned community at all.
Speaker 1: Silver Spoon Mallory Wow again west of the four oh
Speaker 1: five Gascon west of the four h five Gaston. I
Speaker 1: want to point that my favorite mascots to the Philly
Speaker 1: Fanatic and Chuck the Condor Philly for attics. Great Mr
Speaker 1: Metz up there. Uh yeah, I like a lot of
Speaker 1: the mascots, Billy the Marlin. Have some photos with Billy
Speaker 1: and the Marlin from back in the day. Mr Betts Good,
Speaker 1: I'm a bias, but I'm a big fan of Bailey
Speaker 1: Elly King's mascot. Billy is cool. I like Bailey. Bailey
Speaker 1: follows me on Twitter, so I'm a fan of Bailey. Wally.
Speaker 1: The Green Monster is not bad at Finway, although kind
Speaker 1: of a version of Cookie Monster except green. I've noticed that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a big, big fan of the maskets. I
Speaker 1: don't really like the Rams mascot because the Rams mascots
Speaker 1: like in good shape. You know. I like mascots to
Speaker 1: be fat. I think mascot should be fat and jolly,
Speaker 1: not skinny and buff. And you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: no doubt. All right, here's one more from John in Corona.
Speaker 1: He says, here's what the Malarmos is considering to replace
Speaker 1: David Gascon. Who would you choose to replace him? And
Speaker 1: he he lists weed Man, Hippy, Marcel and Brooklyn Skeeer
Speaker 1: in Montana, Ralph Irvin, wreck It Ralph, MGM, John Blair
Speaker 1: in Maine, or Barbecuing Lynn all characters part of the show.
Speaker 1: I would probably take Skeeter in Montana, old guy, season guy,
Speaker 1: veteran guy. I think he would work hard. Weed Man
Speaker 1: wouldn't show up to work and would be high as
Speaker 1: a kite. Marcel would be waiting for Uncle Dynamite to
Speaker 1: tell him what to do. Wreckord, Ralph's a pain in
Speaker 1: my ass. MGM. John, he doesn't stay on hold that long,
Speaker 1: so I don't think he would have the focus it takes.
Speaker 1: Blair and Maine would demand too much money and Barbecuing
Speaker 1: Lenn wouldn't show up. Because Lenn said he was gonna
Speaker 1: show up to that Mallard meet and greet in Seattle,
Speaker 1: the Mallard Man March, he didn't show up, So I
Speaker 1: would go with Skeeter in Montana. Yeah. I don't really
Speaker 1: have a lot of people that can fill my shoes,
Speaker 1: so you can. I mean, there's tons that can can
Speaker 1: fill your shoes. It's not true. John the Jayli says,
Speaker 1: have you seen the Aaron Hernandez documentary There Killer Inside?
Speaker 1: I have not. I plan on watching it this weekend,
Speaker 1: so I'll let you know how it is. But I'm
Speaker 1: looking forward to I know a lot of the story.
Speaker 1: I was on the w E I and I know
Speaker 1: the guys on that morning show that I'm interested to
Speaker 1: see what the story is. My wife doesn't know the story,
Speaker 1: so she'll watch it. I'm excited for it. I want
Speaker 1: to see what happens behind the curtains. This one Aaron
Speaker 1: Hernandez and also Jeffrey Epstein. That documentary is coming out
Speaker 1: soon too. I know this, so I'm gonna enjoy what
Speaker 1: we got in terms of the investigations and all the
Speaker 1: background stuff. One more, one more funal one from Derek
Speaker 1: the E sports guy in Boston. He says, if you
Speaker 1: had to choose between Coop removing your goal bladder high
Speaker 1: or Roberto removing your goal bladder drunk off of tequila,
Speaker 1: which one would you choose? Gotta be Coop, yeah, because
Speaker 1: Coop would be mellow and he'd go slow. Roberto would
Speaker 1: be sloppy, right, when Roberto's hammered, like a lot of us,
Speaker 1: he would just man right, he'd be loud, he would
Speaker 1: be sloppy, he'd be I probably wouldn't be able to
Speaker 1: locate your gallbladder. Coop high would be matha to cold.
Speaker 1: He'd be meticulous, he'd concentrate. So he's like Coops. You
Speaker 1: know again, he could calm. But there's like four kinds
Speaker 1: of drunks, right, when you drink a lot, there's four
Speaker 1: types of drunks. Like he's Roberto is like a Mr. Hyde, right,
Speaker 1: he's more hostile, a little less responsible. Yeah, Roberto is
Speaker 1: like fight guy when he's in toxic kid Coop. When
Speaker 1: he's high, he's just he's laid back. He's got no
Speaker 1: worries in the world. Yeah, he's like Mary Poppins. He's sweet, happy,
Speaker 1: you know. Alright, So I think we're done right because
Speaker 1: you have things to do and you don't want to
Speaker 1: do the rest of it. So we study this is out,
Speaker 1: no study this. We don't have that we don't have.
Speaker 1: Don't stick to sports. You're short changing the audience. Guest,
Speaker 1: gon to go try to sell some bananas whatever, as
Speaker 1: long as I get paid for it, right, Yeah, alright, anyway,
Speaker 1: have a great week and try the other podcast. I
Speaker 1: know this one was up a little later than normal
Speaker 1: because we actually recorded it the same day, but anyway,
Speaker 1: I have a great weekend. We'll be back after the
Speaker 1: a f C, NFC Championship games on the radio. Want
Speaker 1: to point out Guestcon could have worked on that show
Speaker 1: chose not to work with me, thank god. But we
Speaker 1: will have that coming up Sunday night and the Monday.
Speaker 1: Have a great weekend. I'll catch you next time.