WEBVTT - Dead Man Talkin' 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.440 Boom. If you've thought more hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:09.120 week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:12.400 of the old Republic, the sole fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:15.440 treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:20.160 rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:24.040 break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:29.720 Maller starts right now. Yes it does for the the disfranchise, 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:32.880 the exploited members of the Malla militia that don't get enough, 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:36.120 that don't get enough of this nonsense during the week. 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:38.440 And we know that four hours are not enough. So 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:41.400 here we are. I just noticed the open. We might 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:43.400 have to redo the open of the Fifth Hour, and 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:44.919 I'll tell you why in a second. But we are 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:48.440 in the air everywhere, really everywhere, the vast power of 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:53.040 the I Heart Company, the global reach of podcasting, part 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:56.640 of the I Heart podcast Network. We're avail, as you 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:58.880 already know. But I want you to tell your friends this. 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:01.600 Wherever you get your podcast or your enemies, I don't 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:04.600 really care, because remember we learned one minute. All that 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:07.600 need one good minute. You can pretty much do anything 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:10.959 for a minute, even if you hate it. So like 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.080 people that aren't sports people could download this for one minute, 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:16.240 we get credit. Of course, the argument. I guess this 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.680 isn't even a sports podcast anymore. I don't know what happened, 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:22.319 but it's like just a bullshit podcast. But we have 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:26.280 myself Ben and he's a hero on the internet, his 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:29.280 parody accounts. He's got so many burner accounts. He's I 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:35.160 think he's behind the Carlos Beltron Niece Burner account. David Gascount, 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:38.280 I'm happy to be here breaking as fast as we speak. 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:41.880 It's a it's a brand new day, and yeah, let's 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.400 get into it. You can do a Marcel and Brooklyn impersonation. 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:46.959 You have some oodles and boodles for noodles, maybe some 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:49.800 chef boyard. I can't believe you let that guy on radio. 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:53.800 That's a national show and it's just train wreck for 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:57.680 a couple of minutes. Well, Marcel is a polarizing call 0:01:57.720 --> 0:02:01.360 and you don't understand talking radio. I understand polarizing. Many 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:03.320 of the callers blow all right, there's only a few 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:06.320 good callers. So what I do is I'm like a coach. 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:10.120 I I'm coaching up Marcel. If you would have heard 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:12.800 Marcel's first two phone calls to talk radio when he 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:16.840 called me a while back, horrific. He's nervous. I'm giving 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:22.639 him a direction, I'm giving him a role. Now. Heats 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:25.920 a little bit, a little bit off from time to time. 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.880 But I like Marcell. He he thinks he is a star, 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.960 and that's all that really matters in Marcel's head. I 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:38.080 believe Marcel believes he is a major media star because 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:39.720 he calls our show and a bunch of other local 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:42.640 morning shows and whatnot. So there you go. Wait, so 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:45.440 if you gave him instruction and correct me if I'm 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:48.040 wrong on this, But you started off in this industry 0:02:48.840 --> 0:02:51.920 as what like a board op or or a producer? 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:54.600 Well I was when I was a kid. I was 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:59.840 a kid caller, kid caller, producer, board op anchor. And 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.360 don't give any notes to any of your any of 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:06.440 your regular show colleagues. Well I would, but they don't 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:08.400 show up until, you know, right before the show, like 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:10.480 a minute before. So it's hard to give out notes 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:12.079 when they show up a minute before, you know what 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:17.200 I'm saying. Fair enough? Yeah, um, before we we get sorry, 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:19.519 I just wanted to give an update, which I failed 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:22.360 to do on the last radio show because this this 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:24.200 is far as we always say, the super p ones 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.480 of the show right that. You know, Holy Mac like 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:29.760 you're a big fan if you listen to this crap um. 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:34.000 But Marcel in Brooklyn versus Blair and Maine, there's gonna 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:36.480 be a verbal octa guy. Now, Blair and Maine started this. 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:39.560 But I have bad news to report, all right. A 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:43.280 member of the Mallard Militia from the Great State of 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:47.760 Maine informed me that Blair, our guy, the caller of 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:52.200 the Year, went on the JAB, it was a Morning Jab, 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:56.640 which is the affiliate in Portland, Maine, and said he 0:03:56.840 --> 0:04:03.080 cannot fight Marcel in Brooklyn. I did not get all 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:06.360 the details. Maybe there's some shame and embarrassment there. Maybe 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:07.920 his mom told him he can't do it, or the 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:10.280 Special Olympics told him he can't do it. But he says, 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:12.280 how you do it? So I think he's holding out 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:14.640 for more money Gascon. I think he you know how, 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:16.919 sometimes there's a big fight in the one of the 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:18.920 boxes is and I'm not gonna do it. Like Mayweather, 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:20.320 He'll say, I'm not gonna do it, but you gotta 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:21.839 pay me more money and then all of a sudden, 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:23.440 he's willing to do it. Yeah, weed man, Hippy, you've 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:25.920 got a bunch of panhandlers on your show. Ben, Yes, 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:30.279 you need a verbal octagon between blind Scott and Mark 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:35.279 the full name guy. Yeah. Well Mark doesn't call as much, 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:38.080 but yeah, that would see, that would be good. Blind 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:42.160 Scott can get really worked up. He's good occasionally. Or 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:43.760 you like him because you met him and he gave 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.560 you he was your tour guide in Boston and you 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:49.159 enjoyed that. No, but he's he's actually at something to 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:54.280 your show, which is personality. That show lacks personality. How 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:56.920 does lack of personality? It's a personality driven show. I 0:04:56.920 --> 0:05:00.360 don't know. It's an opinion based personality driven. It's a 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.680 little flat. It's a little what I say, flat, little lethargic. 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:06.520 How is the show lethargic? Are you gonna listen to it? 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.480 Do you say? Right now? How is it? Letharge? You 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:12.080 know I'll give you those notes off the air. You 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:16.760 have nothing, you have nothing, you have you listen, you 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:20.000 are pounding the table because you have nothing. That famous 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:22.440 quote that's not true. I mean that's right. If you 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:24.920 have the facts on your side, you go with the facts. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.320 If not, you pound the table. No, that's not true 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:29.680 at all. That's it. The quote. Yeah, the quote is, 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:32.040 if you have the facts on your side, pound the facts. 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:34.760 If you have the law on your side, pound the law. 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:36.960 If you have neither on your side, you pound the table. 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.400 You're pounding the table. Do it off. Here. We do 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:44.159 everything on this stupid podcast. We do. Yes, Well, we're 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:48.520 usually pressed for time. Usually unfortunately we're not pressed for 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:51.440 time today. Well, we kind of are. I have a 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:53.680 busy day at a busy morning. I have a busy 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:57.560 this is my life here. You know, normally the star 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.839 of a podcast or a radio show people bow down 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:03.960 and uh and and give them shoulder rubs. It's a 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:06.800 manny and a petty for the big talent. This is 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:09.200 how I grew up in radio, and I still see it. 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:11.560 Like Colin Coward gets a manny and petty every day 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:15.560 from Greg Toohey, I'm told, but but here's the thing. 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.200 Like with me, it's like an annoyance that you have 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:20.839 to do the show with me. Like on the radio show, 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:22.800 I get the same thing. I thought, well, maybe i'd 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:25.719 get a ben at on the podcast. No, I got 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:29.800 fucking guest gone, Who's got to schedule me around auditions? 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:34.320 What a Hollywood one percent funk up that this guy's 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:36.919 going around l A doing auditions, And then I gotta 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.080 plan my schedule on a fucking day off. I gotta 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:43.080 plan my schedule around what audition you're doing to sell 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:45.960 cheese on television. It's not sure you work this morning, 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:47.839 so it's not your day off. You're still working. It 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:50.359 is my day off once I go to the dude, 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:52.679 day starts when you wake up. You know how that works. 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:55.200 To be fair, you're getting paid nothing for this, so 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.279 you're not working on your day off. You're just talking 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.920 into a microphone that's been recorded on your day off. 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:03.360 So that is logic. You just threw some logic out there. Yeah, 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:05.680 sorry about that. Whatever. I was at the studio twice 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.400 yesterday to record your stupid podcast. I was doing it 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.000 before I had to call a game at cal State Northridge, 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:14.080 and then I came back after to edit your podcast. Okay, 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:19.600 that's fine, but but I had to run around the 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:23.840 byways and highways to get to the studio I was on. 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.760 I did at the five different highways. I believe it 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:30.360 was to get to where we do the show from 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:32.440 because there was a little bit of rain. So everyone 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:34.920 was out on the on the four oh five and 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:37.920 the two ten and the ten and the five and 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:39.760 all these different freeways in l A one on one 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:44.360 on pontoon boats. They were floating along on pontoon boats 0:07:44.360 --> 0:07:47.320 because there was a freeway, uh act like an accident 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:49.040 on the on the freeway there. So it was it 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:51.640 was a nightmare. So I'd believe early if it hadn't 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.520 been bad, I maybe you could have pulled it off. 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.240 But you were lazy, you were slow, that you did 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:57.240 a long postgame show that you were doing. It's bad 0:07:57.320 --> 0:08:00.760 job by you, inappropriate, inappropriate pontoon But that gives me 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:04.760 a great memories of my time in Lake Havasu. Anyways, Um, alright, 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.680 so here's the menu today. You've we've got the by 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:09.920 the way, just to put the footnote on that fight. 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:14.120 I believe it will still happen, although Marcel did not 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:16.600 call the Friday show, which was one of his scheduled 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:18.520 days to call the show, so he might be getting 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:21.080 cold feet also, so I'm gonna have to talk to 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:22.960 I'm gonna have to coach these guys up, both of them, 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:27.760 these jamos, these Pelucas and get these guys into a 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:33.760 fighting posture. So we have Bingo card of death. Everything 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:37.440 in the kitchen sink dial long distance, we've got that 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.319 as well. Study this. We'll get to that, glamour shots, 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:45.920 gascon and on the Graham and also grab bag time permitting. 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:48.319 So that's what's coming up on the podcast, but we'll 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:53.920 begin with the Bingo card of death all right. Now. 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:56.200 I lost a friend of mine, a guy that I 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:59.320 had worked with for a very long time as a reporter, 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.240 and we didn't work at the same radio station. But 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:05.480 when I first started in l A radio and I 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.240 came up from San Diego, I was a reporter for 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:11.679 several years before I got into complete gas baggery when 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:17.679 I do these days. But I covered basketball, baseball, whatever, 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:21.000 hockey pretty much. I had no girlfriend, I had no life. 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:24.120 I had an apartment in Hollywood, and I pretty much 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:27.760 went two games every night. And I said again, I 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:30.720 go to you know, I grew up at Dodger Stadium. Literally, 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.600 like I'd go out there at like, you know, one o'clock, 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.080 two o'clock in the afternoon and be there till midnight 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.559 most days when they were home, and then I'd go 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:40.480 to the Angel Games and do the same thing when 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:42.760 the Angels were home. And uh, the different teams in 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:44.800 l A. That I was covering for the Mighty six 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:49.040 ninety in San Diego, which no longer exists. So I 0:09:49.280 --> 0:09:54.280 befriended this guy, Alex, who it's an odd tale. He's 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:58.920 he's rushing, but he his family, I guess during the 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:01.640 World War Two a aped Russia and moved. I think 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.720 it was Argentinas, somebody told me. And so he grew 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:08.400 up fluent in Russian and Spanish. And he's such an 0:10:08.480 --> 0:10:11.080 he's such a smart guy, Alex that he realized if 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:13.080 you live in l A and you want to make 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:16.120 money in radio, you do the Spanish radio. That's where 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:18.640 the money is. And so that's what he did, and 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.319 he did that. He had a long career in radio. 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:24.680 But anyway, he passed away recently. And I don't normally 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.520 talk about this kind of stuff because I think it's 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:28.240 you're patting yourself on the back when people have asked 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:30.960 about it. So I will talk about it here. So 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:33.920 he had a funeral, which I think most people do 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:37.520 when they die. If the people like them, there's a funeral, uh. 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:41.600 And so it was on Tuesday of this week at 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:45.560 eleven a m uh local time in Los Angeles in 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:49.800 the morning. Now, guess gon, this is the middle of 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:52.640 the night for me. Do you understand, like this is 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.880 the eleven am. I mean, I know he didn't consult 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:57.679 with me on the time of the funeral, but this 0:10:57.800 --> 0:11:00.679 was about the worst possible time for me, right, I 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:04.160 guess worse would have been like nine am, but eleven's 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:07.360 in the same spectrum, you understand, No, I don't par 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:10.640 of the reasons because you sent me some horrific texas 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:12.840 like an eight or nine or ten o'clock in the morning, 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:16.880 and I'm baffled as to why you're still awake, so 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:18.760 you can't get so you can't get any pity for 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:20.920 me on your sleep schedule? What time you usually go 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:24.640 to bed? Anyway, I usually go to bed between eight 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:26.920 and nine in the morning, and you get off of 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:29.640 work at three. Well, I go to work out. I 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:31.360 know you don't work out, your big fat take, but 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.920 I go work out and I do that, and then 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:37.000 I have to wind down. I am, I'm all wired 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:39.559 after the workout in the show, and I gotta kind 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:42.760 of wind down a little bit, and uh, my mind 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:45.640 is racing. I'm already thinking about the next show, and 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:47.840 it's a problem. I can't slow them. You're gonna get 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:52.760 a new producer then, well not you, I don't. I mean, 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.480 someone will take your mind off of this. You're a 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:58.880 ball of stress. Though that's part of the reason. I'm 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:01.840 a type A man. I'm about everything, and that's just 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:03.760 the way it is. You don't have blame my d 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.640 n A. What's that you don't have O C D. Though, No, 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:10.040 not really O c D. But my my nightmare. You know, 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.600 I've worked with some people guests, and I'm not saying 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:13.800 I work with him now, but I work with people 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:16.640 that aren't dependable occasionally, and so it puts me in 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:19.280 a in a position where I my nightmare is to 0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:22.079 be behind the microphone and not be prepared because I've 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:23.760 been there. I've been there early in my career, and 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.000 I I the first show I the problem I have 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:28.080 is the first radio show I ever did by myself, 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.439 talk radio. I've told the story before, but I went 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:33.240 in there gung hole. I had prepared. I had a 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:37.320 great monologue. Um and and my programmer at the time, 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:40.320 Bo Bennett Um, he was there. He was excited. You know, 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:42.240 I was the young, up and coming radio guy and 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:45.040 I first shot behind the microphone by myself solo. Man 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:48.400 was that important? And uh it was a Saturday morning 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:51.760 UM radio show and I came in there and I 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:56.360 just fucking nailed the monologue. It was like a ten okay, 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:00.800 And then I didn't prepare for the rest of the show. 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:02.959 I didn't have anything like just in case nobody calls 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:08.280 kind of thing. You know, I drowned. I'm amazed I 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.480 was brought back. I'm like a cat with nine lives 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:13.480 because I'm convinced I drowned. I had so much flop 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:17.840 sweat going. You know, it was like a game of Survivor. 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:20.360 I was trying to figure out a way to to 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.679 survive here. And and but they do say happiness is 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.760 that jowning out of destination. So my theory is the 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:28.520 reason I am overly prepared for all these other shows 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:31.520 is because of that first show that went so terribly 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:34.080 after it started out so well, That's that's why this 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.600 nonsense happened. This sounds like prom nite for you, right, 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:38.840 like popping the cherry for the first time, you think 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.640 of doing a good job, and then she's just like 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:46.760 is that it? Are you still hear that these days? Yeah? 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:50.480 Your plugs it. I don't even care. Like, let's get 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:52.480 this over with quick, let's move on. We got I 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:54.360 gotta I gotta watch a game. So how do you 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:56.880 run when you when you're nine, ten eleven o'clock in 0:13:56.920 --> 0:14:00.160 the morning, what are you running on? Espresso coffee? Be 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:02.640 sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:06.440 weekdays at two am Eastern Pacific. Well, I didn't go 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:08.200 to the gym that day, and I tried to sleep, 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:11.000 but I can't just fall asleep after the show because again, 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:12.920 I'm worried up why. I'm like, boy, I hope my 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:15.240 bosses don't hear the show last night. That was really bad, 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:17.480 you know that kind of thing. And then I'm like, well, 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:20.240 what I'm trying to think? Like what the big story 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:22.280 is going to be for the next show? You know 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:24.200 what do I Because the good thing about sports is 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:26.920 a lot of this stuff is telegraphed, like we kind 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.080 of know what the big story. There's a big game 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:33.320 that night, or there's rumors of a trade, or somebody's unhappy. 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:36.400 Kind of know that the day before. Now that changes, 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.560 but you kind of know, going in, what's gonna work, 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:41.720 what what what could be on the agenda? So I 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:43.240 think about that stuff. But I didn't go to the 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:45.520 gym that day. I had trouble falling asleep, but I 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.440 got up in morning rush hour traffic. Man, I don't 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.000 know how you people do it. I'm talking about you 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:53.520 and you and you, because what a nightmare, what a 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:58.840 fucking nightmare morning rush hour traffic is. But I did it. 0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:02.240 I didn't get to hours roughly to get to that funeral. 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:05.400 And but it's a good miss way I have funerals. 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:08.080 Nobody wants to go to a funeral. A funerals are 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:10.600 for the living, and you're supposed to show appreciation for 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:13.680 the living because the dead's not there. I mean, their 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.520 bodies there, but they're not really there there. And so 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:19.280 but again I don't usually talk about this kind of 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:22.960 stuff because, uh, that's just I think that's personal going 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:24.720 to this kind of stat stuff. And I'm not doing 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:26.720 it to get a pat on the back, um, just 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:29.480 telling you about my week. Uh. And I also want 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:32.880 to point out that I have now almost completed my 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.960 Bingo card of death, my funeral Bingo card of death. 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:40.920 I have been two the here the following funerals. I've 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:42.920 been too, because unfortunately I started radio and I was 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:46.400 nineteen years old and a lot of the people I 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.440 started with have started to die, um because they were 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:51.640 older or whatever, they were middle aged and then whatever. 0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:55.800 So I've been to the Jewish funeral, Catholic, Christian, non religious, 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:59.520 from over, an atheist ceremony. I've been to a funeral 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:02.680 in a black church in the hood. Now I have been. 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:04.960 This is my first ever. This is this is eye 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:08.160 opening here, my man, I shouldn't you know. It's nothing 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:09.800 to do with Alex or his family. It's just the 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.040 way I didn't know what I was walking into a 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:16.400 Russian Orthodox funeral. Have you ever been to a Russian 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:20.720 Orthodox funeral? I've only been to Italian Jewish. Yeah, I've 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.400 been to Italien up in the Italian Yeah. Isn't that 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:26.560 the same as a Catholic isn't the same concept? No, 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:30.720 there's a lot more eating involved. I'm just talking about 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:33.280 the actual ceremony, and you know all that I don't. 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:34.720 I don't know. Have you been to it? You haven't 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:37.480 been to a military funeral yet, have you. I've not 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:39.600 done the military. I was trying to think what's left 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:43.960 on my Bengo card of death. I need Hindu, Muslim, 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.600 and military, and I think I'm good. If anybody's a 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:49.200 friend and that you wanted me to go to your 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:52.800 funeral and you're in one of those three camps let 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:56.200 me know, and doing funeral tour like around the globe. 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.320 Well I want to complete it. You know. Eventually I'll 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.600 go to my own funeral, but that'll be to you know, 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:03.280 either a non religious or a Jewish one. So, uh, 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:05.679 I gotta get these other Maybe I can have a 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:08.119 Hindu funeral even though I'm not really Hindu. Do you 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.640 trust me reading a monologue for your for your eulogy? 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:14.280 You'll die before me? I think that. Yeah. I mean, 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:16.280 you know I'm better than you. You're you're older than 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:18.679 me anyway, so I don't have to worry about. So 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:22.240 we're doing back to back uh debt talk monologues for 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.560 for these podcasts David Stern last week and now Your 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:26.600 Friend this week. Yeah, and it's even better. We're leading 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.400 with this this week. There is a lead. That's how 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:32.960 bad this podcast is. We're leading. Uh death is what 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.000 we're leading with. But this this just to put the 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.080 foot Noteicze I you've ever been to a Russian Orthodox 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:41.359 Um funeral, you probably haven't been. So this is this 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.800 was the daily double from me. Okay. Now, it was 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:48.520 at this old church in Los Angeles right near it 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:51.639 was kind of l a but near Hollywood. So it 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:54.680 did this old Russian Orthodox church, which is fine. You know, 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:56.600 it's a nice building and it had obviously a lot 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:58.520 of history, a lot of memories were in there. So 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:03.440 I drive two hours hand to God gas gun, which literally, 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:05.480 when you're at a funeral, your hand is almost a god. 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:09.600 I did not understand one thing that was said. The 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:14.359 entire thing was in Russian. Okay, now that's the first 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:16.840 part of the daily double. The second thing it was 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:21.160 an open casket, not a fan guess gun. I want 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:23.639 to remember the living as the living. So me and 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:27.560 my friend Norm and Lee we were there so that 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:30.720 one side of the church was that you could face 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:32.920 the casket, and then the other side was you could 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:35.479 see the back of the casket. So we s get 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:38.480 dattled over to the other side and we circumvented there's 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:40.560 like a line to go and uh, you know, see 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:43.880 the corpse um. We didn't do that. We snuck off 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:46.520 to the side and waited for the ceremony to start. 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:49.160 Now was it Lee Klein that was there? Lee was there, 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:52.400 so was the Prince of Darkness himself was making an appearance, 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:55.680 So he I would imagine he was just annihilating this 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:59.840 this funeral. Correct, No, he was actually respectful, which I 0:18:59.920 --> 0:19:01.480 was shocked. But we were. We were worried, me and 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:04.520 normal word because we got there before him, and Lee 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:08.080 showed up after the ceremony started, so we were concerned 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:09.600 he was gonna come in there like a ball of 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:12.760 lightning and uh, I'm here everybody, and you know, he's 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:14.199 all in Russian and all you know, I was like, 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:16.800 but he fortunately was on his best behavior, which he 0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:19.119 I don't know how that happened, because he would be 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:21.159 the guy that would make the awkward statement and to 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:23.760 make a joke to the to the priest, you know, 0:19:23.840 --> 0:19:25.879 and all that. But so it was all in Russian 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:28.600 and all that we had that going on. And the 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:31.520 thing that all bothered me probably more than anything, was 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:34.800 unfortunately been to a lot of these funerals. I to 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:38.719 me and each of their own funerals are about you know, 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:42.439 sharing memories and stories, right, telling stories and remembering the 0:19:42.480 --> 0:19:44.359 person I know, you can do that after the funeral, 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:46.159 but I think at the funeral because a lot of 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:48.000 people don't go to the other stuff, the wakes or 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:51.800 whatever or sitting, uh, you know, different things that religions 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:54.960 do to celebrate the rituals that people have. But I 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:57.000 think of the funeral part of it should be giving 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:00.879 um mulogies. And I actually wanted to give a little 0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:02.600 I had a couple of stories that I wanted to 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:05.320