1 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:15,440 Speaker 1: Greetings and welcome to woke f with me Danielle Moody. 2 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 1: The last year of life amidst the coronavirus outbreak has 3 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: been a life changing one for so many people. This 4 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 1: week on woke f Daily, I held conversations with two 5 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: inspiring women about the impact COVID nineteen has had on 6 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: people's mental health, and I share my own experiences and 7 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: changes from the last year as well. Fridays on woke 8 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: f Daily are feel Good Fridays, in which I center 9 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: conversations about health and well being in all aspects of 10 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: our lives, whether it's physical, mental, spiritual, or otherwise. These 11 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 1: conversations are valuable, and I use this weekly podcast as 12 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: an opportunity to share important nuggets from them with you. 13 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: But you can hear every Feel Good Friday show in 14 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,960 Speaker 1: full right now on my Patreon starting at just five 15 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: dollars a month at patreon dot com, Slasha app. This Friday, 16 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: I spoke with inspirational speaker kimberly Read, author of Optimists 17 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: Always Win, about my own experiences with social media and 18 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: gratitude during this pandemic and how we can use this 19 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: time to turn our lessons into blessings. Gratitude has been 20 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: something that over the past year. Over the ability and 21 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: I say this from a place of privilege, being able 22 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 1: to work from home during this time is a privilege right. 23 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 1: Not having to put myself into harm's way in order 24 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: to make a living is a privilege. And with that, 25 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: with this time, with this slowdown, have really been able 26 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: to focus on gratitude and how I will be honest, prepandam. 27 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: When you said was twenty twenty year worst year? No 28 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 1: it was not. And I can tell you that having 29 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: gone through a divorce, my mother being diagnosed with a 30 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: brain tumor, and like moving out on my own, twenty 31 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 1: twenty for all intensive purposes should have been my worst year. 32 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 1: But what I continue to say and offer on woke 33 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: app is that it was the year of vision. It 34 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: was an eye opening year for me because what I 35 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 1: realized is that the hamster wheel that I had been 36 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: living on one that was fueled with measuring myself against 37 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: other people, what they had, what I wasn't doing, how 38 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: I needed to do more, be more, produce more right, 39 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,519 Speaker 1: that my value was in my productivity rather than my personhood. 40 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: Is that through the last year, really being grateful and 41 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: instead of asking the question out into the universe of 42 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: why is this happening to me? I have shifted and 43 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,799 Speaker 1: this has been a powerful shift in my own life 44 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 1: of asking instead what is this trying to teach me? 45 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: What is this trying to teach me? Because you go 46 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: from a place of woe is me into a place 47 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: of student right into a place of being open because 48 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: you are available to receive the lessons that are being 49 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: presented to you. And I realized that that could only 50 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: have come from removing the blockage of being ungrateful for 51 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: the life that I was living, for the opportunities that 52 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,640 Speaker 1: I have been given, but I couldn't see it. And 53 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: I think that a large part of that, Kimberly, is 54 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: because we spend so much of our lives on social media. 55 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: Oh that's so much of our lives, for better or 56 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: for worse, regardless of our age, whether you're a tween, 57 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 1: a teen, you know, or in your sixties or seventies, 58 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: people are on social media, and social media has drained us, 59 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: I think in many ways of gratitude. How do you 60 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: manage that? How do you offer both wanting to feel connected? Right, 61 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: the beauty of the connection that social media allows us 62 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: to have but how it also pains us of the 63 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: positive energy and the optimism because they're so much bad 64 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: that is out there. I love what you have just described. Wow, 65 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: I was looking for a pen because you really know that, 66 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: Danielle in your story, right, I've only heard a piece 67 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: of that, but but I can tell your pivot. Yeah, 68 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: from the inside out right. I want to talk about 69 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 1: with social media in a minute, But you said something 70 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: I think that we have to kind of highlight for 71 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: the listeners here because I read a statistic in USA 72 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,360 Speaker 1: today doing some research for a client in writing a section. 73 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: Most people are more optimistic now than ever. Most people 74 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 1: seventy percent believe that the worst is behind us. That's 75 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: seventy percent right USA today. So there's there's still thirty 76 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 1: percent though, which is still a large number that believed 77 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 1: the opposite of that. And one of the things when 78 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: you talk about social media is that there are no 79 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: greater deceivers than comfort and easy hmm okay, And the 80 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: lessons to your point that you said so eloquently are 81 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: our greatest blessings. There's power in our survival right as 82 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 1: we all have a rock bottom right, pain changes who 83 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 1: we are and it has a purpose we know that. Also, 84 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 1: to your point, you said you're going to take the 85 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 1: lessons and turn them into blessings. We love that, right. 86 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: We do that because our future cells deserve more, no 87 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: question about it. Right. Because we have to stop delaying 88 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: our joy. We do that. We do that a lot, 89 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 1: right because to your point about social media, the impact 90 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: of that, we delay our joy because we feel like 91 00:05:56,080 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: we're not good enough because we see this person person 92 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 1: and then we look inward and we're not there yet. 93 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: We're not worthy, we're not right. And we have to 94 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: understand that people often project their hurt yea, who's their 95 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: self esteem? That's where those filters, that's where all that 96 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: stuff comes from. Right, And so you always have to 97 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: remember that you're bigger than the situation that you're facing. 98 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: But one of the things that I really got when 99 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 1: you said about this, you know you ask yourself why me? 100 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: Because I will tell you I kept saying to myself 101 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: when the lights were off of my soul, life was dark, 102 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: my mother and me, everything I remember like it was yesterday, 103 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 1: and I get terry I think about it is that 104 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: I asked myself, when will I be this woman who 105 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: went through life at one hundred and twenty miles per 106 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: hour in the snow and live life with zest again. 107 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: Why is all this happening to me? Right? I felt 108 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 1: this like indescribable pain, like I you know, I didn't 109 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: even know how to walk again? Right, And I know 110 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: that some people, most people have experienced experienced that, right, 111 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: whatever it was, or if it felt like life defeated 112 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: you and the pain that held you at its tightest grip, 113 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 1: right far longer than you could have imagined. Right. But 114 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 1: it's the here's the thing about resilience and what I 115 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: also talk about in the book, Everyone's season is different. 116 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: You described your season to be my sson was different. Right. 117 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: It is true that people with resilience tend to have 118 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 1: a higher tolerance for a kind of emotional distress that 119 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: we go through, right generally that that comes from just 120 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 1: difficult times of valleys in our life, but the more resilient. 121 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: And that's why it's important that you know when we 122 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 1: walk through the valleys, when we go through tough times 123 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: in our lives, that we that we have that stituitiveness 124 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: now that we all of us survive, right, Because the 125 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: better you are able to tolerate the feelings of the 126 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: dress of scadness, of pain that kind of go hand 127 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: in hand with adversity, and find a way to rebound 128 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: from those setbacks. That's power. Yeah, that truly is that's power. 129 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: We haven't talked enough about the mental health impact of 130 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: this pandemic. It has not been easy to endure the 131 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: last year of changes, restrictions, and pressure from so many 132 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 1: different places. My friend, freelance journalist Danielle Campamore bravely shared 133 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 1: her experiences in recovery for an eating disorder and being 134 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: triggered into a relapse by this long turbulent year. I 135 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 1: had invited Danielle on to discuss toxic masculinity as it 136 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: relates to the racist violence around the country, and you 137 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 1: can hear that full conversation now on patreon dot com 138 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: slash wokeaf But I think it's important that everyone here's 139 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: Danielle courageously share her journey with an eating disorder relapse 140 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 1: and her continued recovery, especially if you or someone you 141 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: know is going through the same thing. Please share this 142 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,560 Speaker 1: conversation and spread the word with your loved ones that 143 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: help is out there and recovery is possible. And listen 144 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: in to hear how you can support those in your 145 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: life who might be struggling. As we're getting ready to 146 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: I don't even want to call it moving into post pandemic, 147 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: because we still have a pandemic, but how we are 148 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 1: living in the midst of this pandemic now is changing 149 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: because of vaccination. But a lot has happened over the 150 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: past year. And one of the pieces that you wrote 151 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 1: for insider dot com was about eating disorders and relapsing 152 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: during this time of quarantine. And you know, there has 153 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: been so much pressure on people to either you know, 154 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: you should come out of quarantine with a new hobby, 155 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 1: a new job, a new project, a new business, a 156 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: new body, all of these things. And it was an 157 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 1: added pressure on just trying to survive living in the 158 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: midst of a health pandemic and multiple uprisings and all 159 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: of this angst. Right And you know, for me, the 160 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,719 Speaker 1: folks that listen to me know that I have been 161 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 1: on my own personal journey over the past year, and 162 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: it has been in and around just my mental health 163 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,320 Speaker 1: and how that was showing up with my weight and overeating. 164 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,679 Speaker 1: And this time, this privileged time that I had was 165 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: the ability to slow down, focus on my health and 166 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: well being and shed like so much, so much baggage, 167 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: so much weight, so much trauma over the past year. 168 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,319 Speaker 1: After I read your piece, I was thinking to myself, 169 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 1: you know, that was my way of coping. But the 170 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: way in which like social media through memes and videos 171 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 1: have pressured people into something is wrong with you if 172 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: you're not using this time when for some people just 173 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: curling up on the cow is their useful time, right, 174 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: So talk to us about the ways in which you're 175 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:10,959 Speaker 1: eating disorder presented itself, but in general, how this moment 176 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:17,479 Speaker 1: has really affected folks that do suffer and live with ED. Absolutely. 177 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 1: I'll start and preface it by saying that in this 178 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 1: country we have a very large misunderstanding of eating disorders 179 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: and why they present themselves. It is not about vanity. 180 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: It's not about making it to a certain size, although 181 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 1: for some people it is. Mostly it's a trauma response 182 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,679 Speaker 1: and an attempt to try and control one aspect of 183 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: your life when other aspects are outside of your control. 184 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: And that's how mine presented itself, probably around twelve years ago. 185 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: I grew up in an abusive household. My father was 186 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: physically abusive, and so I turned to eating disorder to 187 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 1: try and have something that I can control. It was 188 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 1: also response to believing a lot of the things that 189 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: my father told me that I wasn't worthy, that I 190 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: wasn't good enough, and so you start to think that 191 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 1: I'm not worthy of nourishment as well. So there's a 192 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: lot of different factors that play into it. But for me, 193 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 1: the biggest trigger for my eating disorder is when things 194 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 1: get out of control. I need something that I can control, 195 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 1: and that is food and how I put food into 196 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: my body and how I take that food out of 197 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: my body. And so when the pandemic hit, my partner 198 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: is an essential worker at Amazon, he was working for 199 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: twelve hours shifts. They weren't providing adequate protection, they weren't 200 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: giving anyone paid time off. We were very scared that 201 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 1: he was going to bring the literal plague into our 202 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 1: home and that our two children might get sick. On 203 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,959 Speaker 1: top of that, there was at home e learning for 204 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: my then five year old, now six year old. I 205 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: had a one year old now two year old, and 206 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 1: so I was also working from home. Everything felt chaotic. 207 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: I was also isolated from my friends and isolated from 208 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 1: my family, which isolation definitely makes it easier for you 209 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,559 Speaker 1: to engage in disordered eating because no one really can 210 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: pay attention, no one can really spot the signs. And 211 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: I relapsed very quickly, and I'm still dealing with the 212 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: aftermath of that. I'm not in recovery right now. I'm 213 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: trying to be. But so all of these factors, from 214 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 1: isolation to the loss of control, additional stress, anxiety, depression, 215 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,839 Speaker 1: all of these things really puts people who are in 216 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: recovery or at risk for developing disordered eating habits at 217 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,840 Speaker 1: a higher risk. And we've seen that play out. There's 218 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: been studies that shown that eating disorders have increased during 219 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 1: the pandemic and are likely to increase once, as you said, 220 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,200 Speaker 1: the nation starts to open up again and people finally 221 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 1: feel like they can try and get help. And there's 222 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: a worry that mental health experts will become overwhelmed and 223 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: unable to actually provide adequate care to those people who 224 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 1: are going to need help. And so it was very sorry. 225 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 1: It was very difficult, I think, to see people joking 226 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: about the pants like COVID fifteen or gaining ebomic weights, 227 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 1: because for a lot of people it's far more than 228 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 1: a joke. And make no mistake, an eating disorder is 229 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 1: the deadliest mental health issue out there. More people die 230 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 1: from eating disorders than any other mental health problem, and 231 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: so it's life or death for a lot of people. 232 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: And that doesn't elude me also that it is a 233 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,760 Speaker 1: severe health issue. And it just goes back to our 234 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: inability to talk about weight, weight gain, weight law different 235 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 1: types of bodies. When we're seeing now fat phobia playing 236 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: out in people gaining weights. People would look at me 237 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 1: and assume that I'm healthy. I am not healthy, but 238 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: just because at a certain weight, they assume that I am. 239 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: So again, it's a lot of misconceptions. It's baked into 240 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 1: the fabric of this society that's so obsessed with women 241 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 1: or female presenting bodies, and it's exhausting. It really is 242 00:14:56,160 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 1: just another source of total exhaustion. What do you recommend, 243 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: you know, what are what have you been doing? And 244 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,920 Speaker 1: what do you recommend that people do that are struggling. 245 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: I know that, you know from my therapist when online. 246 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: She actually just recently got rid of both of her offices. 247 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: She's like, this is just kind of gonna be the way. 248 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 1: I don't foresee me sitting down across from anybody, you know, again, 249 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 1: in a closed space, like there's just no reason we've 250 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: been doing fine on FaceTime. UM. I know that there 251 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 1: are lots of virtual you know, UM therapy groups. UM, 252 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 1: but what what what can people do who who are 253 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 1: in the midst of struggle, who are not at the 254 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: recovery stage but are very aware of what is happening 255 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: and want to do something but don't know what to 256 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: do right. I think that's the key point, and it's 257 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: wonderful that you pointed it out. Is first of just 258 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 1: doing the work to be aware of it. Sometimes even 259 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: that step is very difficult, But if you are at 260 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 1: that step and you are aware and want to try 261 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 1: and make it steps to get into recovery. I think 262 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 1: a very key component, at least for myself as being 263 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: honest with the people around me and be honest with 264 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 1: my partner and asking him to hold me accountable. It 265 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 1: means being honest with my friends in the group chat 266 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: and saying, hey, you know, I haven't had any food 267 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: and X number of days, or I've been purging X 268 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 1: number of days. I just need to talk about it 269 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 1: openly and giving and empowering your support system to to 270 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 1: be there for you and to hold you accountable. This 271 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: can be difficult. A lot of times people don't know 272 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: how to speak about eating disorders in a way that 273 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: isn't triggering. Buys and ask that people who are in 274 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 1: that support support system and that's a support space, to 275 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: do some research on how you can best approach someone 276 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: or talk to them about it, because discussing their weight, 277 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 1: discussing how they look, that ain't it. That won't help. Yeah, 278 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: so I think that that's a big step. Another one 279 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 1: is go online. There are plenty of mental health care 280 00:16:55,200 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: professionals who are doing visits, you know, virtually. There is 281 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: even tech support groups, any of those things where you 282 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 1: can just text somebody, you know. It's a lot of 283 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 1: it is just talking and being willing to be vulnerable 284 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: about this specific part of your health and wellness. I 285 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,680 Speaker 1: think is a very big one. And then the hardest 286 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: part for me, but when I think is pivotal is 287 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: to also give yourself some grace and everything that we do, 288 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,680 Speaker 1: especially now, but when it comes to this, I felt 289 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: so much shame when I relapsed. I'd worked so hard 290 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,359 Speaker 1: to have gotten to that place of recovery, and that 291 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 1: place was imperfect, but it took a lot of work, 292 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 1: and so I was very hard on myself. I still am, 293 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 1: and that all that does is just feed that issue. 294 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,680 Speaker 1: It just makes it that much more harder to get 295 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 1: back on that road to recovery. So give yourself grace, 296 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: give yourself love. It's okay if you aren't where you 297 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: wanted to be. It's okay if you took some steps backwards, 298 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 1: because you're still here and you're still ending. And that's 299 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 1: something that I have to tell myself every day, and 300 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: I would encourage people to tell themselves that too. It's okay, 301 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:12,439 Speaker 1: you haven't failed, You're You're just still walking and moving forward. 302 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: As I often say, the problems that existed before COVID 303 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,919 Speaker 1: nineteen were only exacerbated by the outbreak of this global 304 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 1: health pandemic, and that includes fat phobia, which was already 305 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,159 Speaker 1: rampant in our society, especially with the expectations placed on 306 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 1: women from a very young age. There is no vaccine 307 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: for our various social ills. As we fight through our 308 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: days and hopefully strive to make this country better for 309 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:43,159 Speaker 1: all Americans, know that there are methods and techniques to 310 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 1: help you make it through whatever it is that you 311 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 1: were dealing with. And I hope that this podcast has 312 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,040 Speaker 1: been able to help you in some way on your journey. 313 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,639 Speaker 1: Once again, please share this with your loved ones and 314 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: use whatever insight you may have gained to help yourself 315 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: and those around you. To hear more from me and 316 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: my fabulous gas five days a week, every single week, 317 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: do check me out on patreon dot com slash wokef 318 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: and to the entire Woke a F Nation. Power to 319 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: the people and to all the people. Power, get woke 320 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 1: and stay woke as fuck.