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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and.

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Speaker 2: Click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 2: live on the air, just like we're going to.

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Speaker 1: Read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 3: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type

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Speaker 3: We got it. Paul, you here it is Strawberry. Let

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Speaker 3: us all right, nephew, thank you. Subject don't rock the boat.

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Speaker 3: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm twenty eight and I've been married

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Speaker 3: for two years. My parents have been married for almost

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Speaker 3: forty years. They are my example of how a marriage

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Speaker 3: should be. But there are some things that I'm doing

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Speaker 3: differently in my marriage. For example, my dad did not

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Speaker 3: want my mom to work. I work two jobs so

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Speaker 3: I can buy what I want to buy without asking

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Speaker 3: my husband. My mother had to ask my dad before

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Speaker 3: she spent money. Also not listed on the mortgage. I

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Speaker 3: bought my house and added my husband on the deed.

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Speaker 3: My mom has never been to a club, bar, or

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Speaker 3: anything like that. I grew up in the club and

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Speaker 3: I still go out with my girlfriends on special occasions.

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Speaker 3: I also had other lovers before I met my husband,

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Speaker 3: but I'm sure that my dad is the only man

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Speaker 3: that my mother has ever been with.

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine getting married without experiencing other men first.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to have a great marriage like my parents,

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Speaker 1: but I wanted the new, improved version. My dad always

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Speaker 1: says that I'm nothing like my mom when it comes

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Speaker 1: to being settled and married.

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Speaker 2: I agree.

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Speaker 1: On Sunday, he said it again, and then our discussion

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Speaker 1: got heated. He said, my husband doesn't like my slick

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Speaker 1: mouth and he's tired of me working so much. My

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Speaker 1: dad said, I have a good man, and then he yelled,

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Speaker 1: don't rock the boat.

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Speaker 2: My husband came into the room and just stood there.

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Speaker 1: He told my dad to relax, and he looked at

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Speaker 1: me and said, that's not exactly what he told my dad.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe that he talked to my dad about

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Speaker 1: our marriage, and now it's messed up my relationship with

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Speaker 1: my parents because I went off on my dad. Why

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Speaker 1: would my husband create drama like this? And what does

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Speaker 1: rock the boat even mean? It's old fashioned bs to me.

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Speaker 1: What should I do well? It's not a shock to

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Speaker 1: me that your husband and your dad talk about you.

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Speaker 1: That's not a shock. I mean that is the one

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Speaker 1: thing they have in common is you. You never know,

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Speaker 1: your husband may go to your dad for advice or

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Speaker 1: you know. They talk about a lot of other things too,

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Speaker 1: but the one thing they do talk about is you.

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Speaker 1: That's what they have in common. And just because they

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Speaker 1: talk doesn't mean it's something negative all the time. But

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Speaker 1: it sounds like your husband confided confided in your dad

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Speaker 1: about something your dad couldn't wait to snitch. And obviously

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Speaker 1: your dad has a problem with you and how your

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Speaker 1: lifestyle is, you know, because this is not the first

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Speaker 1: time he's brought up this subject to you. He probably

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Speaker 1: is old fashioned and thinks you should be more like

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Speaker 1: your mom.

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Speaker 2: But that's not you.

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Speaker 1: You laid out who you are and what you wanted

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Speaker 1: in your marriage in this letter and how you didn't

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Speaker 1: want to have to ask your husband for money like

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Speaker 1: your mom did, and that's okay.

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Speaker 2: That's why you.

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Speaker 1: Want a new and improved version of your mom and

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Speaker 1: mom and dad's almost forty year marriage. In other words,

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Speaker 1: you respect what your parents have, but you just want

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Speaker 1: to update it a bit. So your dad was out

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Speaker 1: of line for repeating a conversation about you having a

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Speaker 1: slick mouth and working so much. Why is your dad

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Speaker 1: even in this because he thinks you're going to lose

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Speaker 1: your man obviously and in your daughter. I know he

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Speaker 1: wants to help, but no, Dad, you got to stay

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Speaker 1: out of this. Has your husband said anything directly to

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Speaker 1: you about it, because that's who you're married to. Well,

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Speaker 1: I guess he did, but not exactly what you what

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Speaker 1: your dad said he said, So you your husband, You

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Speaker 1: and your husband need to talk see if he has

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Speaker 1: a problem with you working two jobs and see if

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Speaker 1: he has a problem with your mouth. Do you still

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Speaker 1: spend quality time together? Do you still get together or

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Speaker 1: are you too busy because of work? Because that's what

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Speaker 1: we'll call ish cause.

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Speaker 2: Issues in your marriage.

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Speaker 1: You and your husband need to check your temperature in

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Speaker 1: your marriage and just apologize to your dad for going

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Speaker 1: off on him. Please. If he's old fashioned like you say,

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Speaker 1: he's probably stubborn too and he's not gonna apologize to

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Speaker 1: you first, and you don't want that.

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Speaker 4: Steve, Oh, this letter is extremely long and there's a

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Speaker 4: whole lot of nothing in this letter, but I see

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Speaker 4: something different. I see a young lady that's doing the most,

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Speaker 4: and she wants to justify it. And now your husband

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Speaker 4: thinks you're doing the most, so he done and talk

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Speaker 4: to your daddy about it.

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Speaker 5: That's what this is.

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Speaker 4: Are you twenty eight, you've been married for a couple

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Speaker 4: of years. Your parents was married for forty but you

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Speaker 4: all have a different relationship. You wanted it, your dad

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Speaker 4: didn't want your mom to work. You got two jobs,

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Speaker 4: so you can out whatever you want without asking your

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Speaker 4: husband because your mom had to ask your dad or

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Speaker 4: whenever she wanted to spend money. That I understand. I'm

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Speaker 4: okay with that. You can do whatever you want to do.

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Speaker 5: She's also not listed on the mortgage.

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Speaker 4: On the other hand, she went and bought her house,

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Speaker 4: then he added her husband to the deed. Okay, that's one.

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Speaker 4: My mom never been to a club, bar or anything

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Speaker 4: like that. I grew up in the club. You ain't

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Speaker 4: but twenty eight, and I still go out with my

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Speaker 4: girlfriends on special occasions. I've also had other lovers before

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Speaker 4: I met my husband, but I'm sure that my dad

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Speaker 4: was the only man that my mother has ever been with.

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Speaker 4: I can't imagine getting married without experiencing other men.

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Speaker 5: First, Okay, what is this letter about?

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Speaker 1: Read on?

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Speaker 4: No, I'm no, no, you saying that your daddy shouted out,

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Speaker 4: don't rock the boat. But you're giving us a lot

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Speaker 4: of information about what your sexual freedom, your ability to

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Speaker 4: make all your own choices ain't. Nobody got no problem

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Speaker 4: with that. Your mom ain't never been.

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Speaker 5: To a club. You grew up in the club.

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Speaker 4: You've had several lovers, you can imagine being married, just

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Speaker 4: loving one. Okay, okay, but what is your letter about?

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Speaker 4: All right, here we go. I met my husband, but

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Speaker 4: I'm sure that my dad is the only man that

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Speaker 4: my mother has ever been with. I can't imagine getting married.

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Speaker 4: So I wanted to have a great marriage like my parents.

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Speaker 4: But I wanted the new and improved version. Okay, so

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Speaker 4: that's what you want, now, the new and improved version.

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Speaker 2: Hang on, hang on, I know what that is.

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Speaker 5: In a minute.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we'll have part two of your response coming

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Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry

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Speaker 1: letter subject don't rock the boat. We'll get back into

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Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening to the Steve Hardy

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Speaker 1: Morning Show.

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Speaker 6: money back?

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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is don't rock the boat.

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Speaker 4: Well, this twenty eight year old lady's been married two years.

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Speaker 4: Your parents were Her parents were married for forty years,

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Speaker 4: and she says they were my example of how marriage

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Speaker 4: should be. Okay, But then every example she gave goes

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Speaker 4: counter to that one.

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Speaker 5: For example, my dad didn't want my mom to work. Okay.

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Speaker 4: This young lady has two jobs so she could buy

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Speaker 4: whatever she wants without asking her husban because this marriage

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Speaker 4: that she wants to have an example of her because

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Speaker 4: her mother used to have to ask her dad before

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Speaker 4: she spent money. Okay, So you've counted that example of

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Speaker 4: that similarity. She's also not listed on the mortgage. I

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Speaker 4: bought my house and added my husband to the deed. Okay,

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Speaker 4: so this is the forty year marriage that you want

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Speaker 4: to make an example out of, but you want the

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Speaker 4: new version. My mom never been to a club, bar

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Speaker 4: by anything like that. I grew up in the club.

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Speaker 4: I go all the time, and I still hang out

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Speaker 4: with my girlfriends on occasion. Also, your mom was only

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Speaker 4: with one man before she got married.

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Speaker 5: That was your dad.

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Speaker 4: You, on the other hand, I've had other lovers before

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Speaker 4: I met my husband. I'm sure my father was the

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Speaker 4: only one my mother had ever been with. I can't

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Speaker 4: imagine getting married without experiencing other men first.

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Speaker 5: Okay you did that. Oh okay, this whole letter.

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Speaker 4: You're contradicting this incredible forty year man marriage that you

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Speaker 4: wanted to pattern yourself after. So I want to have

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Speaker 4: a great marriage like my parents, but I wanted the

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Speaker 4: new and improved version.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so now you have it.

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Speaker 4: My dad always says I'm nothing like my mom when

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Speaker 4: he comes to being settled and married. I agree. On

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Speaker 4: Sunday he said it again. Then our discussion got heated.

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Speaker 4: He said, my husband don't like my slick mouth, and

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Speaker 4: he tired of me working so much. My dad said,

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Speaker 4: I have a good man, and then he yelled, don't

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Speaker 4: rock the boat. My husband came into the room and

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Speaker 4: just stood there. He told my dad to relax, and

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Speaker 4: he looked at me and said, that's not exactly what

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Speaker 4: he told my dad.

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Speaker 5: I can't believe that he talked to my dad about our.

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Speaker 4: Marriage and how it's messed up my relationship with my parents.

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Speaker 4: Wait a monthe here's what happened. You're doing the most

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Speaker 4: to your husband. Your husband didn't know how to breach

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Speaker 4: the subject with you, so he went to your father.

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Speaker 4: He's tired of you working so much because you're going

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Speaker 4: away from the house all the time, and he tired

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Speaker 4: of your slick mouth. You just talking because you're telling

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Speaker 4: him what you're doing, just like you told us my

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Speaker 4: mama had one man. There's no way I'm gonna get

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Speaker 4: married without testing the market. So you have several lovers. Okay, cool,

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Speaker 4: you did that. You want two jobs, You want to

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Speaker 4: buy what you want to buy. So I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 4: you're saying this to your husband. He didn't talk to

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Speaker 4: your dad about it. I can't believe he talked to

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Speaker 4: my dad about our marriage and now it's messed up

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Speaker 4: my relationship with my parents because I went off on

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Speaker 4: my dad for what Why would my husband create drama

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Speaker 4: like this? And what does rock the boat even mean?

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Speaker 4: It's old fashioned BS to me? What should I do?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 4: The old fashioned BS is coming from that old fashioned

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Speaker 4: marriage that your mom and your daddy had that you

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Speaker 4: said you wanted to emulate, but you're doing everything differently.

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Speaker 4: Don't rock the boat means don't get things unsettled in

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Speaker 4: your house that don't have to be.

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Speaker 5: Example, you're working a.

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Speaker 4: Lot them two jobs keep you away from home all

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Speaker 4: the time. Okay, all right, I don't mind. Is the

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Speaker 4: devil's playground. You ain't at the house. How long you

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Speaker 4: think your husband gonna sit there waiting on you?

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Speaker 5: You're talking crazy to him.

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Speaker 4: I can tell because you know your dad just said

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Speaker 4: he getting tired of your your husband getting tired.

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Speaker 5: Of your slick mouth. Okay, so lady, what come on?

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Speaker 4: Now you've been married for two years and you want

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Speaker 4: the new version of the marriage. Well, the marriage will

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Speaker 4: basically always remain the same basically.

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Speaker 5: Now there's some new.

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Speaker 4: Innovations being added to it, but that's because there's some

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Speaker 4: innovations you all bought into it. Nobody says a woman

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Speaker 4: can't work anymore because you're working. But you got two jobs,

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Speaker 4: and now you ain't at home. So if you ain't

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Speaker 4: at home tending to your husband, who is I think

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Speaker 4: this has been a war and you should heed the warning.

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Speaker 5: You think.

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Speaker 4: Don't rock the boat. It's some old fashioned bs. Don't

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Speaker 4: rock the boat, don't tilt the boat over. You could

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Speaker 4: be with your slick mouth, you could be emasculating your man.

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Speaker 4: Of course you're not gonna put that in the letter,

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Speaker 4: but you kind of write kind of strong note.

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Speaker 5: I can't see myself.

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Speaker 4: Being with no one man before I get married, So

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Speaker 4: I done had several mine. I ain't gonna ask my

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Speaker 4: husband what to buy. So you got two jobs, you know.

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Speaker 4: It's just a couple of things in this letter. Who

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Speaker 4: my dad thinks he talking to? That's some old school mess.

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Speaker 4: You want the forty year marriage that your parents had,

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Speaker 4: but you want the new and improved verge.

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna say this again, marriage is basically the same.

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Speaker 4: I got a few twisting wrinkles in it, and that

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Speaker 4: women do work more in relationships now when that then

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Speaker 4: used to be the case.

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Speaker 5: But that's about it, lady. So your daddy's telling you

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Speaker 5: not to rock the boat.

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Speaker 4: You think it's some old fashioned bs, rock the boat,

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Speaker 4: tilt the boat over.

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Speaker 5: You got a good thing, you got it? You do

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Speaker 5: sound like you do have a good man.

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Speaker 6: All right.

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Speaker 1: Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and

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Speaker 1: Facebook at Steve Harvey f them and check us out

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Speaker 1: on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 1: Coming up next, it is Junior and Sports Talk right

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Speaker 1: after this.

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Speaker 6: WHOA.

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Speaker 5: I used to be the kind of brother that thought

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Speaker 5: I would never slow down. I used to swear that

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Speaker 5: I don't even care what happens. But baby, right now, YO,

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Speaker 5: what up? This is your boy?

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Speaker 4: Jahim Hi, this is your boy, said the entertainer.

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Speaker 2: This is Jolanda Adams. Less up.

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Speaker 4: It's DJ Cavin and you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 5: There's morning shows and there's the Greatest Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 5: Another one.

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Speaker 2: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.