WEBVTT - 3 Effective Ways to Disconnect from Social Media & How to Optimize Your Morning Routine 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.520 Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be 0:00:02.560 --> 0:00:05.560 adding a really special offering onto the back of my 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:09.039 solo episodes on Fridays. The Daily Jay is a daily 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:12.119 series on Calm and it's meant to inspire you while 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:16.120 outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:18.880 free life. We dive into a range of topics and 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:22.479 the best part is each episode is only seven minutes long, 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.400 so you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:28.800 how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:32.199 on Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:35.080 you this year, so I'll be playing a hand picked 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.840 Daily Jay during each of my Friday podcasts. This week, 0:00:38.880 --> 0:00:41.720 we're talking about your habits and how to develop better 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:44.559 daily routines. Of course, if you want to listen to 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:48.120 The Daily Jay every day, you can subscribe to Calm, 0:00:48.240 --> 0:00:51.000 So go to Calm dot com forward slash Jay for 0:00:51.000 --> 0:01:01.080 forty percent off your membership. Today only made it. Thank 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:04.680 you for having made it happen. You're in LA. 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:08.119 I was a guest on the j Sutty podcast You're 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:10.000 an Amazing I loved you. 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.080 It was the short video we made that we put 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:15.000 on Facebook and Instagram that went so much, like people 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:18.160 loved your episode, like absolutely loved it. Amazing. 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:21.040 Well, they're going to love this episode. I'm pretty big deal. 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:22.039 I'm very grateful to be here. 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.479 Oh, I'm so grateful that you were here. Last time 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:27.680 we saw each other, I was like getting down, I know, 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:28.720 I know, in high heels. 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:29.520 It was impressive. 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:33.399 Okay, so we have to just like start from the beginning. Okay, 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:38.280 not childhood, but like where Jay Shutty was kind of 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:40.760 born into who he is today. 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.959 That was going in a monastery. Yeah, absolutely, so we'll 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:44.560 start from there. 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:45.600 Yeah, let's start from there. 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:47.600 I'll give you a bit of a prequel just because 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.480 it's important. Okay. So I spent my teens being in 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:54.360 absolute rebel, and I was always experimenting with everything under 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:58.400 the sun, multiple relationships, dabbled in drugs a little bit, 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:03.240 nothing for the form of addiction or wanting anything else 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:05.840 apart from really seeking a thrill, like I was looking 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:07.400 for a thrill. I was looking for meeting. I was 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:09.440 looking for passionate purpose. But for me at that time, 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:11.600 I didn't know what that was called, and it kind 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:13.880 of came out in all these rebellious ways. And I 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:15.799 think that also came from coming from a family where 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:18.520 it was very much like live by the rule. You know, 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:20.440 you can be a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure, 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:23.200 like you've got these three options, and then I was 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:26.040 trying to rebel and question that. The most important thing 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:28.920 was that I spent a lot of my teens, starting 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:30.800 at the later end of my teens, really wanting to 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:33.840 learn and really wanting to hear from people who went 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:34.959 from rags to riches. 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:37.359 And it just hit you it was one of those 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:39.360 things I have more purpose, No. 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.600 It was. It was a mixture of a few things. 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.720 My dad was trying to get me to read. Now, 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:47.040 I'd never read a book until I was fourteen, until 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:50.000 my dad said, I giving me autobiographies and biographies, and 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:51.720 those were the books I started reading. So I read 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:55.400 like David Beckham's autobiography and I read The Rocks autobiography interest. 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:57.960 I was massively in to soccer and massively into wrestling, 0:02:58.200 --> 0:02:59.640 so both of those were huge for me. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.440 You said soccer and that football I did. I want 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:04.600 to call it real football, all right. I went to 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:07.120 to a AFC last night, so I'm trying to you know. 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:09.840 But it was that feeling of my father was trying 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:13.360 to help me grow and think and be more thoughtful 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:16.280 and introduce me to wisdom. And at the same time, 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:18.079 I was just going through experiences where I lost a 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:20.200 couple of friends. You know, one of my friends died 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.359 in a car accident and one of my friends died 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:25.920 through gang violence, and like both of those scenarios like 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.840 made me start to question, Like wait a minute, Like 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:32.280 they were good people, right, they were like beautiful, loving, kind, 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:35.520 sweet people, but they just went in a moment and 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:38.120 that really got me that year. Like I was around 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:40.800 sixteen years old when that happened, and that really hit me, 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:42.520 and I was just like, what is the meaning of life? 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:44.520 Like where am I going? Like am I using my time? 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:45.000 Wisely? 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:47.640 You never saw that coming. And I think when you 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:50.640 lose someone that's close to you, whoever that may be, 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:53.440 I think it makes you question what you do with 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:56.120 your own time, right, And that's what happened to you, 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.119 And that's what happened to me, and that's what kind 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.400 of started that journey. A couple of years later, I 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:03.880 was invited to an event by my friend and so 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.760 this monk was invited to speak, and I didn't even 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.440 want to go and I literally said to my friend, 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:10.920 I said, I'll only go if we go to a 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.480 bar afterwards, Like that's the only way I'm coming out. 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:14.920 The reason why I'm saying all of this is I 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:17.800 want people to realize how opposite this was of me, right, 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:19.680 because it's not like I grew up as a spiritual 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:22.000 kid or a religious kid or a kid that was 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:24.200 I was totally the opposite. And then I go to 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:25.919 this event because my friends say, yes, we'll go to 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:31.560 the bar afterwards. I'm completely flawed and speechless because everything 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:35.839 this monk is saying is completely cutting through to my heart. 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:39.200 And he's talking about like selflessness, and he's talking about service, 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:41.400 and he's talking about living a life that is worth 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:44.640 of sacrifice for other people. And I'm thinking, why is 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:47.120 this appealing to this eighteen year old guy? But it is, 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:49.520 like all of it's appealing to me. I end up 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.880 spending time with them afterwards, you know, like you network. 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:56.200 So I went to network for the monk and yeah, exactly, 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:57.680 like can I get your drink? 0:04:57.839 --> 0:04:58.000 Then? 0:04:58.080 --> 0:04:59.880 And then and I go after him and I say, 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.719 you know, everything you so said like really connected with me. 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:06.000 It really felt powerful to me, and I said, I'd 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:08.560 love to experience more of this, and so he said, well, 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:10.120 why don't you come and join me this week? I'm 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:12.520 traveling in London in England, so why don't you just 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.039 come and hear me this week, speak and get to 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.400 know me better. And I did, and then that led 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:19.520 to me actually going to live with him in India. 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:23.200 So I spent all of my summer holidays we didn't 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:26.400 say vacation summer holidays from eighteen to twenty two, while 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:29.200 I was at university. Every break I got half of it. 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:32.560 I spent interning at financial companies in London, and so 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:35.760 I'd be in bars, steakhouses and suits. And then I'd 0:05:35.760 --> 0:05:37.919 spend the other half of my summers living as a 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:41.120 monk in India, robes, meditating, sleeping on the floor. And 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.360 then when I graduated, I decided to do it for real. 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:47.040 So I had all those correct correct Yeah, three years? Yeah, 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:47.360 that's right. 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:49.240 What were you doing in the monastery exactly? 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:51.279 So we would wake up at four am every day 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.440 and half of our day was dedicated to self or 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:58.400 silence and the other half for service self or silence. Yeah, 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:00.440 so you'd spend half the day working on your so 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:06.920 that means self study, self meditation, silence, group meditations, prayer, 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.280 the type of things you expect monks to do, and 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:11.200 that's like half of your day, okay, But then the 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:14.440 other half is totally about service. So we would be 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:19.360 building schools, we'd be feeding homeless children, we'd be trying 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:22.360 to develop sustainable villages and food distribution programs that were 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:25.680 helping in serving tons of people in India. And so 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.040 I chose this part because it was this perfect balance 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.760 between self and service. And the way it was taught 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:32.560 to us is that everything you do in the part 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:34.760 of the self day, you then go and give it 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:37.240 away in the service and you learn more, and then 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:40.040 you come back and do more self realization and then service. 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:43.360 It's like a cycle. Yeah. Exactly three years in, I 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:47.320 had pushed my body to extreme limits, like fasting fasting, 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:49.880 and I'd sleep very little because I wanted to see 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.480 the power of meditation. Had this side of me that 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:55.080 wanted to make what I was learning even more relevant, 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:57.160 even more accessible, even more practical. And this is all 0:06:57.160 --> 0:07:00.920 in hindsight. I didn't know this. Then My teacher said 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:02.520 to me that he felt it would be better if 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:04.280 I left so I could share what I'd learned. 0:07:04.920 --> 0:07:06.960 Wow, And so he wasn't kicking you out. 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:09.280 Well, it felt like that because at that time I 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:11.360 didn't have this hindsight of oh yeah, maybe I was 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:13.360 in the wrong place or maybe I'd done my time. 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:14.920 At that time, I was like, I want to do this, 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:16.760 and I'm pushing and literally he comes out and he's 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:18.800 just like, you know, it's not you, it's me. It's 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.200 like it feels like one of these awkward breakup conversations, 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:23.560 and I'm thinking, I just gave up everything, like I 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:26.320 broke up with my girlfriend, I left, you know, all 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:28.679 my jobs, I turned down my jobs, I left my family, 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:31.040 like I gave up everything to do this. But then 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.680 it was like this revelation both internally and from him 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:36.000 or I was like, maybe this isn't right for me 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:39.080 for life. And that probably is one of the hardest 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:40.720 things to ever have to go through. If you've made 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:43.280 a plan and a vision in your mind of how 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:45.400 you want your life to look like and then it 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:48.280 feels like it's just been taken away. And mine was 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:49.720 to be a monk. It sounds like the weirdest thing, 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:53.000 but if someone takes that away from you, it hurts. 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:56.720 Well, that's an interesting statement because it's like you felt 0:07:57.160 --> 0:08:01.840 a calling to be a monk, but then your teacher said, oh, no, 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:03.880 I think that there's been a different calling for you. 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.760 What's the difference for you between a calling and a desire, 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:09.400 because it sounds like you had both. 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.040 Ooh, I like that. Yeah, that's a great question. That's 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:16.000 a great question. A desire is something that you push 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:18.880 and a calling is something that pulls you. Right, that's 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:21.280 the difference, And you're right. I think you're spot on. 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:23.160 I think it was both. I don't think I was 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:25.360 naturally meant to be a monk. I was someone who 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:29.000 was trying to rediscover myself and work through so much 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:31.760 of my teenage years. So for me, a moment for me, 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:33.560 it was a transformation. It was like going to school, 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:35.920 but at the same time it turned into a calling 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:38.160 because I got so fascinated by serving, and I got 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:41.240 so fascinated by wanting to make an impact, and I 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:45.240 got so fascinated by wanting my life to mean more 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:48.600 than just being successful or just being material. And I 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:50.040 think that's what I got introduced to. 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:52.520 My belief is that like you have to do the 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:55.319 work in order to get to where you are or 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:57.600 where you want to be. And there's so much like 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:02.520 empty prayer or empty meditation that goes into so much 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:06.679 of people's desires or wants or callings. And I think 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:09.920 that sometimes we just have to either be still and 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:14.120 wait for that moment to pull us, or be proactive 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:16.160 in what it is that you truly want to do. 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:19.240 Because you were being proactive in going and talking to 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:22.000 that month. Correct, you were being proactive and spending your 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.360 summers with him, but then it was a pulling that 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:28.800 took you to actually go live in the monastery. So 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:32.040 it's like it does take both to get to where 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:32.640 you want to be. 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:35.360 I couldn't agree with you more. I did a podcast 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:38.520 a few months ago and it's called the Myths of Manifesting, 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:41.280 and I think that's really one of the myths that 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:44.120 we have, that we just believe that just thinking and 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:47.040 just willing and just meditating or just praying and suddenly 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:49.720 someone's going to sprinkle some fairy dust and proof, yeah, 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:51.800 like the Genie's going to turn up and you know 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.640 you now are that person. I think the challenge is 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:57.319 that we have to get the balance right and it 0:09:57.360 --> 0:10:01.280 can't be about the result. I think wanting and desire 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:04.200 is always about the result. A calling is about the process. 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:06.360 Calling is something you're excited to wake up and do 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:09.240 every day. When you have a desire, it's just like, oh, yeah, 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:10.720 I want to be on the top of that list 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:12.160 or I want to be at the top of. 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.600 That yeah, because we have desires in our career, but 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:16.800 we also have a calling to be where we are today. 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:19.960 It's the balance. It's both together, right. You want to 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:22.520 do the prayer and the meditation and the manifest things, 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:24.160 but then you want to go and follow that up 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:26.160 and do the work and go do the meetings and 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:28.760 the strategy. You have to embrace polarities. And what I 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:30.520 mean by that is people are like, do I need 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:32.920 to be sincere or do I need to be strategic? 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:35.319 I'm like, you need to be both. Sincerity and strategy 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:39.240 together is a lethal combination. Whereas if you're just sincere, 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:42.079 then you're not practical, and if you're just strategic, then 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.200 you're not intentional. And you don't want to be lost 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:45.720 by either of those. You want to have both. 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.760 Faith is important to you and you talk about it 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:51.720 a lot, but I want to know what faith is 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:54.520 for you, because for me, faith is very important. Faith 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:57.160 is something that grounds me. It's the center of who 0:10:57.240 --> 0:11:00.200 I am. It's my calling, it's my desires, all of 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.320 those things. But what is faith to you? 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.839 Faith to me, like the two polarities is the day 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:10.480 to day practices and the map. So it's the thing 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.960 that's guiding every decision. It's the thing that's guiding every 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:16.439 direction that I move in. It's the thing that GUIDs 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:17.920 who I want to be friends with, who I want 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:19.880 to connect with, the type of work I want to do. 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:22.640 But then it's also what I do daily. And to me, 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:24.920 that's what's so beautiful about faith that it can be 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.840 practical and simple, but then it can be philosophical and spiritual. 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:31.680 And so me, faith is both because if I'm not 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.560 practicing on a daily basis, how can it last? And 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:38.120 if it's not the governing thing behind all my decisions, 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:40.160 then how is it true? Like how is it really? 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:42.880 How is it your moral compass? Also exactly? Yeah, So 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:45.160 for me, it's both of those things at all times. 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:46.719 And so it's everything I do in the morning, So 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:51.160 my meditation, practices, my prayer, the way I communicate, how 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:53.000 I speak to my wife, like I think all of 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:54.920 those things how I speak to anyone, I think all 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.000 of those things in my faith. And at the same time, 0:11:57.040 --> 0:11:59.880 it's like, I am I doing this out of love? 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.280 I Am I doing this out of service? Am I 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:04.480 taking this decision just because it pays the bills and 0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:05.800 just because it makes money? Or am I doing this 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:08.040 just because I think it will be cool? It's the 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.199 same as It's so funny you asked me this question 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:12.600 because I was speaking to someone about you just before 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.360 coming the show today. Yes, I was saying one of 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.360 the things I love about Ashley and why I think 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.160 we get along so well and we find it so 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:23.040 easy to connect is because we're both have such deep faith. Yes, 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:24.760 And I said, I always find it easier when you 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:27.240 meet someone who has their faith and it may be different, 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:30.080 but they're open yep, and then you just connect. And 0:12:30.080 --> 0:12:31.720 that's how I feel with you that when we first 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:33.920 started talking a meeting, I felt it straight away. 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:36.920 The people who are really rooted in their faith, and 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:38.720 that comes before anything else. 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:40.320 I always connect. 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:41.920 It's a big deal. 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:43.960 Yeah, my wife fell out with you too, even though 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:45.679 we were down to the Bruno Mars. I know, we 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:46.079 were like. 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:52.199 Yeah, it was so Then you left the monastery and 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:54.760 you met Ariana Huffington. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.160 I mean she kind of gave you a platform. Well, yeah, 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.439 it wasn't that quick. So I left and went back 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.240 to London. There was some work there, yeah, exactly. I 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.240 moved him back with my parents and I had my 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:06.719 big debt to pay us. So I had my university debt, 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:08.960 which is nowhere near as bad as US debt. 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:10.199 Oh, it's ridiculous. 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.320 It's so bad here, I can't believe it. So I 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.960 had twenty five thousand dollars. So I come back and 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:17.840 I was trying to figure out what to do. And 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:21.720 then fast forward three years. I started making videos after 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:24.600 I came back. So the videos were far after. But 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:27.960 I'd been speaking about these things, studying, teaching, sharing since 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:29.960 I was eighteen, since I was introduced to it. But 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:33.160 then I really felt this. I was talking to companies, 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.800 I was talking inside events at corporations, and I was 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:38.720 working one to one and coaching lots of people, and 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:40.959 that will naturally evolve. But I was thinking, how does 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:43.200 this reach every person in the world, Like, how do 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:45.840 we get these messages to reach everyone at no cost, 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.520 for absolutely free, to make it really accessible? And I 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:51.000 thought video I don't know if this is true or 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:52.720 whether it's a meme, but I remember seeing something that 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:56.000 said more people in the world own a smartphone than 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:59.040 a toothbrush, and I thought two things. I thought, I 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:00.880 need to make stuff that people can watch on smartphones, 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:02.040 and then I thought, we need to figure out how 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.640 everyone can get two thrushes. So that's a crazy Yeah, 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:06.920 it was crazy. I remember seeing it, so I don't 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:08.080 know if it's true or not. We can check it out. 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.280 And that triggered a thought in me. I was just like, Wow, 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:12.880 that means there's kids out there who have smartphones, they 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.240 don't have two brushes, which means they can access wisdom 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.959 and insight and all of this stuff that I've been learning. 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:19.520 So how do we share it with them? So I 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:22.080 started making these videos. And before that, I went and 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:25.680 pitched my video idea to round forty media companies in 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:29.760 London and they all rejected me watch and this was 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:31.640 before I made a video. I pitched them my idea 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:34.520 for a mindfulness based video series. So they were like, Jay, 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.040 you have no communication experience, you have no video experience, 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:40.760 you have no hosting experience. I had no official training 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:42.840 in this space, and so They're like no, no, no, no, no, 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.000 no no no no. But they were right because I 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.760 hadn't yet demonstrated that I could do what I was 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:49.800 asking them to invest in. Wow. And so then I 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:54.600 started making my videos, and my global HR leader at Accentia, 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:56.280 because I was working at Accenta at the time, a 0:14:56.280 --> 0:15:01.360 big corporate company, she showed Ariannahuffington my videos at Davos. 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:02.920 And the next thing that happened is I got a 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:05.600 call from Arion Huffington's team and they were just like, 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:07.680 we love your videos, we want to meet you in London. 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:09.640 I met them and I said, look, I'd love to 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:11.880 see what we can do with this. I then send 0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:14.680 an email every day for thirty days seeing Danny we 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:17.680 met in London. You promised me that you love my videos, 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:19.120 and the Arian I love them. We've got to do 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:20.720 something with them. They're not just going to sit around 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.000 and get out to people and help people. That's deadicate. 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:24.920 And I wasn't charging anything like I made no money 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:27.760 from this whatsoever. It was me wanting to share a 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:30.080 message and hoping that that message would resonate with people. 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:34.120 A month later, Danny replies to me and says, yes, fine, 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:37.040 we do want to get these videos out. And now, 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:39.000 in hindsight, I realized it's because they were going off 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:41.000 and trying to build thrives. So they were busy with 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:43.200 that movie at the same time is trying to do this, 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.160 and so Danny makes this happen. I sweak to Arion 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:47.320 on the phone. She's like, Jay, we really love your content. 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:48.880 We are going to share it. We want to make 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:51.320 this happen. And then they share these videos. And we 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:55.080 shared four videos, and those four videos collectively did tens 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:57.920 of millions of views. The first video did a million 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:00.120 in a week, the second video did a million in 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:03.880 twenty four hours and did like thirty million overall. And 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:05.720 they were putting all of this on the huff Post site. 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.280 And this was mid twenty sixteen, so it's three and 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:11.440 a half years ago. I literally just it was amazing, 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:14.560 just that overnight of overnight social media, all because of 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:16.640 social media. And like I alway said, I didn't get 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:19.200 paid a penny for any of those That wasn't the point. 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:22.720 The point was always can this message reach people? And 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:24.960 they gave me a platform and so I'm so grateful 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.360 to Arianna and Danny and Caro who was on the 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.040 team at the time, and Dan like that whole group 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:32.640 of people that I'm still friends with today that were 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:35.280 just so committed to the message and believed in it. 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:37.280 I didn't have a platform at that time, I didn't 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.400 have a brand, I didn't have anything, and they believed 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.680 in it. So really it's all credit to them. Because 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:42.200 now you have. 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.240 To use social media, which is like a dark place 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:47.760 sometimes how do you handle it? 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.360 I just really have had to build up rules around 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:54.840 my social media use. So my rule is never look 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:56.120 at the phone first thing in the morning. 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:58.440 Oh my gosh, I am really trying. 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:01.840 This is my biggest one. I think if we did this, 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:03.400 we would conquer our lives. 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:06.320 I have now not looked at Instagram for a sing 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:08.040 in the morning. I just look at like the text, 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.760 the email. Okay, we're good, I that's good. Yep, that's huge? 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:12.600 Is it for me? 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.560 That's huge. At one point I actually used to put 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:18.080 my phone and my laptop locked in my car downstairs 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:21.080 well because that was the only way I could truly 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.919 commence myself not to look at my phone. And I 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:25.800 think we have to go to that extent sometimes, with 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:27.840 that extremity to really push ourselves out of it. So 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:29.560