Speaker 1: Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be
Speaker 1: adding a really special offering onto the back of my
Speaker 1: solo episodes on Fridays. The Daily Jay is a daily
Speaker 1: series on Calm and it's meant to inspire you while
Speaker 1: outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress
Speaker 1: free life. We dive into a range of topics and
Speaker 1: the best part is each episode is only seven minutes long,
Speaker 1: so you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter
Speaker 1: how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the
Speaker 1: on Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for
Speaker 1: you this year, so I'll be playing a hand picked
Speaker 1: Daily Jay during each of my Friday podcasts. This week,
Speaker 1: we're talking about your habits and how to develop better
Speaker 1: daily routines. Of course, if you want to listen to
Speaker 1: The Daily Jay every day, you can subscribe to Calm,
Speaker 1: So go to Calm dot com forward slash Jay for
Speaker 1: forty percent off your membership. Today only made it. Thank
Speaker 1: you for having made it happen. You're in LA.
Speaker 2: I was a guest on the j Sutty podcast You're
Speaker 2: an Amazing I loved you.
Speaker 1: It was the short video we made that we put
Speaker 1: on Facebook and Instagram that went so much, like people
Speaker 1: loved your episode, like absolutely loved it. Amazing.
Speaker 2: Well, they're going to love this episode. I'm pretty big deal.
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful to be here.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so grateful that you were here. Last time
Speaker 2: we saw each other, I was like getting down, I know,
Speaker 2: I know, in high heels.
Speaker 1: It was impressive.
Speaker 2: Okay, so we have to just like start from the beginning. Okay,
Speaker 2: not childhood, but like where Jay Shutty was kind of
Speaker 2: born into who he is today.
Speaker 1: That was going in a monastery. Yeah, absolutely, so we'll
Speaker 1: start from there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's start from there.
Speaker 1: I'll give you a bit of a prequel just because
Speaker 1: it's important. Okay. So I spent my teens being in
Speaker 1: absolute rebel, and I was always experimenting with everything under
Speaker 1: the sun, multiple relationships, dabbled in drugs a little bit,
Speaker 1: nothing for the form of addiction or wanting anything else
Speaker 1: apart from really seeking a thrill, like I was looking
Speaker 1: for a thrill. I was looking for meeting. I was
Speaker 1: looking for passionate purpose. But for me at that time,
Speaker 1: I didn't know what that was called, and it kind
Speaker 1: of came out in all these rebellious ways. And I
Speaker 1: think that also came from coming from a family where
Speaker 1: it was very much like live by the rule. You know,
Speaker 1: you can be a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure,
Speaker 1: like you've got these three options, and then I was
Speaker 1: trying to rebel and question that. The most important thing
Speaker 1: was that I spent a lot of my teens, starting
Speaker 1: at the later end of my teens, really wanting to
Speaker 1: learn and really wanting to hear from people who went
Speaker 1: from rags to riches.
Speaker 2: And it just hit you it was one of those
Speaker 2: things I have more purpose, No.
Speaker 1: It was. It was a mixture of a few things.
Speaker 1: My dad was trying to get me to read. Now,
Speaker 1: I'd never read a book until I was fourteen, until
Speaker 1: my dad said, I giving me autobiographies and biographies, and
Speaker 1: those were the books I started reading. So I read
Speaker 1: like David Beckham's autobiography and I read The Rocks autobiography interest.
Speaker 1: I was massively in to soccer and massively into wrestling,
Speaker 1: so both of those were huge for me.
Speaker 3: You said soccer and that football I did. I want
Speaker 3: to call it real football, all right. I went to
Speaker 3: to a AFC last night, so I'm trying to you know.
Speaker 3: But it was that feeling of my father was trying
Speaker 3: to help me grow and think and be more thoughtful
Speaker 3: and introduce me to wisdom. And at the same time,
Speaker 3: I was just going through experiences where I lost a
Speaker 3: couple of friends. You know, one of my friends died
Speaker 3: in a car accident and one of my friends died
Speaker 3: through gang violence, and like both of those scenarios like
Speaker 3: made me start to question, Like wait a minute, Like
Speaker 3: they were good people, right, they were like beautiful, loving, kind,
Speaker 3: sweet people, but they just went in a moment and
Speaker 3: that really got me that year. Like I was around
Speaker 3: sixteen years old when that happened, and that really hit me,
Speaker 3: and I was just like, what is the meaning of life?
Speaker 3: Like where am I going? Like am I using my time?
Speaker 2: Wisely?
Speaker 1: You never saw that coming. And I think when you
Speaker 1: lose someone that's close to you, whoever that may be,
Speaker 1: I think it makes you question what you do with
Speaker 1: your own time, right, And that's what happened to you,
Speaker 1: And that's what happened to me, and that's what kind
Speaker 1: of started that journey. A couple of years later, I
Speaker 1: was invited to an event by my friend and so
Speaker 1: this monk was invited to speak, and I didn't even
Speaker 1: want to go and I literally said to my friend,
Speaker 1: I said, I'll only go if we go to a
Speaker 1: bar afterwards, Like that's the only way I'm coming out.
Speaker 1: The reason why I'm saying all of this is I
Speaker 1: want people to realize how opposite this was of me, right,
Speaker 1: because it's not like I grew up as a spiritual
Speaker 1: kid or a religious kid or a kid that was
Speaker 1: I was totally the opposite. And then I go to
Speaker 1: this event because my friends say, yes, we'll go to
Speaker 1: the bar afterwards. I'm completely flawed and speechless because everything
Speaker 1: this monk is saying is completely cutting through to my heart.
Speaker 1: And he's talking about like selflessness, and he's talking about service,
Speaker 1: and he's talking about living a life that is worth
Speaker 1: of sacrifice for other people. And I'm thinking, why is
Speaker 1: this appealing to this eighteen year old guy? But it is,
Speaker 1: like all of it's appealing to me. I end up
Speaker 1: spending time with them afterwards, you know, like you network.
Speaker 1: So I went to network for the monk and yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: like can I get your drink?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 1: And then and I go after him and I say,
Speaker 1: you know, everything you so said like really connected with me.
Speaker 1: It really felt powerful to me, and I said, I'd
Speaker 1: love to experience more of this, and so he said, well,
Speaker 1: why don't you come and join me this week? I'm
Speaker 1: traveling in London in England, so why don't you just
Speaker 1: come and hear me this week, speak and get to
Speaker 1: know me better. And I did, and then that led
Speaker 1: to me actually going to live with him in India.
Speaker 1: So I spent all of my summer holidays we didn't
Speaker 1: say vacation summer holidays from eighteen to twenty two, while
Speaker 1: I was at university. Every break I got half of it.
Speaker 1: I spent interning at financial companies in London, and so
Speaker 1: I'd be in bars, steakhouses and suits. And then I'd
Speaker 1: spend the other half of my summers living as a
Speaker 1: monk in India, robes, meditating, sleeping on the floor. And
Speaker 1: then when I graduated, I decided to do it for real.
Speaker 1: So I had all those correct correct Yeah, three years? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right.
Speaker 2: What were you doing in the monastery exactly?
Speaker 1: So we would wake up at four am every day
Speaker 1: and half of our day was dedicated to self or
Speaker 1: silence and the other half for service self or silence. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you'd spend half the day working on your so
Speaker 1: that means self study, self meditation, silence, group meditations, prayer,
Speaker 1: the type of things you expect monks to do, and
Speaker 1: that's like half of your day, okay, But then the
Speaker 1: other half is totally about service. So we would be
Speaker 1: building schools, we'd be feeding homeless children, we'd be trying
Speaker 1: to develop sustainable villages and food distribution programs that were
Speaker 1: helping in serving tons of people in India. And so
Speaker 1: I chose this part because it was this perfect balance
Speaker 1: between self and service. And the way it was taught
Speaker 1: to us is that everything you do in the part
Speaker 1: of the self day, you then go and give it
Speaker 1: away in the service and you learn more, and then
Speaker 1: you come back and do more self realization and then service.
Speaker 1: It's like a cycle. Yeah. Exactly three years in, I
Speaker 1: had pushed my body to extreme limits, like fasting fasting,
Speaker 1: and I'd sleep very little because I wanted to see
Speaker 1: the power of meditation. Had this side of me that
Speaker 1: wanted to make what I was learning even more relevant,
Speaker 1: even more accessible, even more practical. And this is all
Speaker 1: in hindsight. I didn't know this. Then My teacher said
Speaker 1: to me that he felt it would be better if
Speaker 1: I left so I could share what I'd learned.
Speaker 2: Wow, And so he wasn't kicking you out.
Speaker 1: Well, it felt like that because at that time I
Speaker 1: didn't have this hindsight of oh yeah, maybe I was
Speaker 1: in the wrong place or maybe I'd done my time.
Speaker 1: At that time, I was like, I want to do this,
Speaker 1: and I'm pushing and literally he comes out and he's
Speaker 1: just like, you know, it's not you, it's me. It's
Speaker 1: like it feels like one of these awkward breakup conversations,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, I just gave up everything, like I
Speaker 1: broke up with my girlfriend, I left, you know, all
Speaker 1: my jobs, I turned down my jobs, I left my family,
Speaker 1: like I gave up everything to do this. But then
Speaker 1: it was like this revelation both internally and from him
Speaker 1: or I was like, maybe this isn't right for me
Speaker 1: for life. And that probably is one of the hardest
Speaker 1: things to ever have to go through. If you've made
Speaker 1: a plan and a vision in your mind of how
Speaker 1: you want your life to look like and then it
Speaker 1: feels like it's just been taken away. And mine was
Speaker 1: to be a monk. It sounds like the weirdest thing,
Speaker 1: but if someone takes that away from you, it hurts.
Speaker 2: Well, that's an interesting statement because it's like you felt
Speaker 2: a calling to be a monk, but then your teacher said, oh, no,
Speaker 2: I think that there's been a different calling for you.
Speaker 2: What's the difference for you between a calling and a desire,
Speaker 2: because it sounds like you had both.
Speaker 1: Ooh, I like that. Yeah, that's a great question. That's
Speaker 1: a great question. A desire is something that you push
Speaker 1: and a calling is something that pulls you. Right, that's
Speaker 1: the difference, And you're right. I think you're spot on.
Speaker 1: I think it was both. I don't think I was
Speaker 1: naturally meant to be a monk. I was someone who
Speaker 1: was trying to rediscover myself and work through so much
Speaker 1: of my teenage years. So for me, a moment for me,
Speaker 1: it was a transformation. It was like going to school,
Speaker 1: but at the same time it turned into a calling
Speaker 1: because I got so fascinated by serving, and I got
Speaker 1: so fascinated by wanting to make an impact, and I
Speaker 1: got so fascinated by wanting my life to mean more
Speaker 1: than just being successful or just being material. And I
Speaker 1: think that's what I got introduced to.
Speaker 2: My belief is that like you have to do the
Speaker 2: work in order to get to where you are or
Speaker 2: where you want to be. And there's so much like
Speaker 2: empty prayer or empty meditation that goes into so much
Speaker 2: of people's desires or wants or callings. And I think
Speaker 2: that sometimes we just have to either be still and
Speaker 2: wait for that moment to pull us, or be proactive
Speaker 2: in what it is that you truly want to do.
Speaker 2: Because you were being proactive in going and talking to
Speaker 2: that month. Correct, you were being proactive and spending your
Speaker 2: summers with him, but then it was a pulling that
Speaker 2: took you to actually go live in the monastery. So
Speaker 2: it's like it does take both to get to where
Speaker 2: you want to be.
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree with you more. I did a podcast
Speaker 1: a few months ago and it's called the Myths of Manifesting,
Speaker 1: and I think that's really one of the myths that
Speaker 1: we have, that we just believe that just thinking and
Speaker 1: just willing and just meditating or just praying and suddenly
Speaker 1: someone's going to sprinkle some fairy dust and proof, yeah,
Speaker 1: like the Genie's going to turn up and you know
Speaker 1: you now are that person. I think the challenge is
Speaker 1: that we have to get the balance right and it
Speaker 1: can't be about the result. I think wanting and desire
Speaker 1: is always about the result. A calling is about the process.
Speaker 1: Calling is something you're excited to wake up and do
Speaker 1: every day. When you have a desire, it's just like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to be on the top of that list
Speaker 1: or I want to be at the top of.
Speaker 2: That yeah, because we have desires in our career, but
Speaker 2: we also have a calling to be where we are today.
Speaker 1: It's the balance. It's both together, right. You want to
Speaker 1: do the prayer and the meditation and the manifest things,
Speaker 1: but then you want to go and follow that up
Speaker 1: and do the work and go do the meetings and
Speaker 1: the strategy. You have to embrace polarities. And what I
Speaker 1: mean by that is people are like, do I need
Speaker 1: to be sincere or do I need to be strategic?
Speaker 1: I'm like, you need to be both. Sincerity and strategy
Speaker 1: together is a lethal combination. Whereas if you're just sincere,
Speaker 1: then you're not practical, and if you're just strategic, then
Speaker 1: you're not intentional. And you don't want to be lost
Speaker 1: by either of those. You want to have both.
Speaker 2: Faith is important to you and you talk about it
Speaker 2: a lot, but I want to know what faith is
Speaker 2: for you, because for me, faith is very important. Faith
Speaker 2: is something that grounds me. It's the center of who
Speaker 2: I am. It's my calling, it's my desires, all of
Speaker 2: those things. But what is faith to you?
Speaker 1: Faith to me, like the two polarities is the day
Speaker 1: to day practices and the map. So it's the thing
Speaker 1: that's guiding every decision. It's the thing that's guiding every
Speaker 1: direction that I move in. It's the thing that GUIDs
Speaker 1: who I want to be friends with, who I want
Speaker 1: to connect with, the type of work I want to do.
Speaker 1: But then it's also what I do daily. And to me,
Speaker 1: that's what's so beautiful about faith that it can be
Speaker 1: practical and simple, but then it can be philosophical and spiritual.
Speaker 1: And so me, faith is both because if I'm not
Speaker 1: practicing on a daily basis, how can it last? And
Speaker 1: if it's not the governing thing behind all my decisions,
Speaker 1: then how is it true? Like how is it really?
Speaker 1: How is it your moral compass? Also exactly? Yeah, So
Speaker 1: for me, it's both of those things at all times.
Speaker 1: And so it's everything I do in the morning, So
Speaker 1: my meditation, practices, my prayer, the way I communicate, how
Speaker 1: I speak to my wife, like I think all of
Speaker 1: those things how I speak to anyone, I think all
Speaker 1: of those things in my faith. And at the same time,
Speaker 1: it's like, I am I doing this out of love?
Speaker 1: I Am I doing this out of service? Am I
Speaker 1: taking this decision just because it pays the bills and
Speaker 1: just because it makes money? Or am I doing this
Speaker 1: just because I think it will be cool? It's the
Speaker 1: same as It's so funny you asked me this question
Speaker 1: because I was speaking to someone about you just before
Speaker 1: coming the show today. Yes, I was saying one of
Speaker 1: the things I love about Ashley and why I think
Speaker 1: we get along so well and we find it so
Speaker 1: easy to connect is because we're both have such deep faith. Yes,
Speaker 1: And I said, I always find it easier when you
Speaker 1: meet someone who has their faith and it may be different,
Speaker 1: but they're open yep, and then you just connect. And
Speaker 1: that's how I feel with you that when we first
Speaker 1: started talking a meeting, I felt it straight away.
Speaker 2: The people who are really rooted in their faith, and
Speaker 2: that comes before anything else.
Speaker 1: I always connect.
Speaker 2: It's a big deal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my wife fell out with you too, even though
Speaker 1: we were down to the Bruno Mars. I know, we
Speaker 1: were like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was so Then you left the monastery and
Speaker 2: you met Ariana Huffington.
Speaker 1: I mean she kind of gave you a platform. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: it wasn't that quick. So I left and went back
Speaker 1: to London. There was some work there, yeah, exactly. I
Speaker 1: moved him back with my parents and I had my
Speaker 1: big debt to pay us. So I had my university debt,
Speaker 1: which is nowhere near as bad as US debt.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: It's so bad here, I can't believe it. So I
Speaker 1: had twenty five thousand dollars. So I come back and
Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out what to do. And
Speaker 1: then fast forward three years. I started making videos after
Speaker 1: I came back. So the videos were far after. But
Speaker 1: I'd been speaking about these things, studying, teaching, sharing since
Speaker 1: I was eighteen, since I was introduced to it. But
Speaker 1: then I really felt this. I was talking to companies,
Speaker 1: I was talking inside events at corporations, and I was
Speaker 1: working one to one and coaching lots of people, and
Speaker 1: that will naturally evolve. But I was thinking, how does
Speaker 1: this reach every person in the world, Like, how do
Speaker 1: we get these messages to reach everyone at no cost,
Speaker 1: for absolutely free, to make it really accessible? And I
Speaker 1: thought video I don't know if this is true or
Speaker 1: whether it's a meme, but I remember seeing something that
Speaker 1: said more people in the world own a smartphone than
Speaker 1: a toothbrush, and I thought two things. I thought, I
Speaker 1: need to make stuff that people can watch on smartphones,
Speaker 1: and then I thought, we need to figure out how
Speaker 1: everyone can get two thrushes. So that's a crazy Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was crazy. I remember seeing it, so I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's true or not. We can check it out.
Speaker 1: And that triggered a thought in me. I was just like, Wow,
Speaker 1: that means there's kids out there who have smartphones, they
Speaker 1: don't have two brushes, which means they can access wisdom
Speaker 1: and insight and all of this stuff that I've been learning.
Speaker 1: So how do we share it with them? So I
Speaker 1: started making these videos. And before that, I went and
Speaker 1: pitched my video idea to round forty media companies in
Speaker 1: London and they all rejected me watch and this was
Speaker 1: before I made a video. I pitched them my idea
Speaker 1: for a mindfulness based video series. So they were like, Jay,
Speaker 1: you have no communication experience, you have no video experience,
Speaker 1: you have no hosting experience. I had no official training
Speaker 1: in this space, and so They're like no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no no. But they were right because I
Speaker 1: hadn't yet demonstrated that I could do what I was
Speaker 1: asking them to invest in. Wow. And so then I
Speaker 1: started making my videos, and my global HR leader at Accentia,
Speaker 1: because I was working at Accenta at the time, a
Speaker 1: big corporate company, she showed Ariannahuffington my videos at Davos.
Speaker 1: And the next thing that happened is I got a
Speaker 1: call from Arion Huffington's team and they were just like,
Speaker 1: we love your videos, we want to meet you in London.
Speaker 1: I met them and I said, look, I'd love to
Speaker 1: see what we can do with this. I then send
Speaker 1: an email every day for thirty days seeing Danny we
Speaker 1: met in London. You promised me that you love my videos,
Speaker 1: and the Arian I love them. We've got to do
Speaker 1: something with them. They're not just going to sit around
Speaker 1: and get out to people and help people. That's deadicate.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't charging anything like I made no money
Speaker 1: from this whatsoever. It was me wanting to share a
Speaker 1: message and hoping that that message would resonate with people.
Speaker 1: A month later, Danny replies to me and says, yes, fine,
Speaker 1: we do want to get these videos out. And now,
Speaker 1: in hindsight, I realized it's because they were going off
Speaker 1: and trying to build thrives. So they were busy with
Speaker 1: that movie at the same time is trying to do this,
Speaker 1: and so Danny makes this happen. I sweak to Arion
Speaker 1: on the phone. She's like, Jay, we really love your content.
Speaker 1: We are going to share it. We want to make
Speaker 1: this happen. And then they share these videos. And we
Speaker 1: shared four videos, and those four videos collectively did tens
Speaker 1: of millions of views. The first video did a million
Speaker 1: in a week, the second video did a million in
Speaker 1: twenty four hours and did like thirty million overall. And
Speaker 1: they were putting all of this on the huff Post site.
Speaker 1: And this was mid twenty sixteen, so it's three and
Speaker 1: a half years ago. I literally just it was amazing,
Speaker 1: just that overnight of overnight social media, all because of
Speaker 1: social media. And like I alway said, I didn't get
Speaker 1: paid a penny for any of those That wasn't the point.
Speaker 1: The point was always can this message reach people? And
Speaker 1: they gave me a platform and so I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: to Arianna and Danny and Caro who was on the
Speaker 1: team at the time, and Dan like that whole group
Speaker 1: of people that I'm still friends with today that were
Speaker 1: just so committed to the message and believed in it.
Speaker 1: I didn't have a platform at that time, I didn't
Speaker 1: have a brand, I didn't have anything, and they believed
Speaker 1: in it. So really it's all credit to them. Because
Speaker 1: now you have.
Speaker 2: To use social media, which is like a dark place
Speaker 2: sometimes how do you handle it?
Speaker 1: I just really have had to build up rules around
Speaker 1: my social media use. So my rule is never look
Speaker 1: at the phone first thing in the morning.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I am really trying.
Speaker 1: This is my biggest one. I think if we did this,
Speaker 1: we would conquer our lives.
Speaker 2: I have now not looked at Instagram for a sing
Speaker 2: in the morning. I just look at like the text,
Speaker 2: the email. Okay, we're good, I that's good. Yep, that's huge?
Speaker 2: Is it for me?
Speaker 1: That's huge. At one point I actually used to put
Speaker 1: my phone and my laptop locked in my car downstairs
Speaker 1: well because that was the only way I could truly
Speaker 1: commence myself not to look at my phone. And I
Speaker 1: think we have to go to that extent sometimes, with
Speaker 1: that extremity to really push ourselves out of it. So
Speaker 1: I don't look at my phone until I go down
Speaker 1: to the gym, which is two hours after I meditate
Speaker 1: and wake up and everything. So I try and avoid
Speaker 1: looking at my phone for those first two hours. And
Speaker 1: I find what that does is it gives your mind
Speaker 1: time to warm up. You don't start your mind on
Speaker 1: someone else's reactive schedule. When you wake up and you
Speaker 1: look at that email and you look at that notification,
Speaker 1: You're now thinking about everything everyone wants you to do,
Speaker 1: not what you want to do right. You're not thinking
Speaker 1: about who you want to be or what you want
Speaker 1: to achieve. You're thinking about, Oh, Mary wants me to
Speaker 1: get that right, you know, Julie wants me to do
Speaker 1: that right? Like whatever. It is like, you start thinking
Speaker 1: about everyone else's schedule. And then the third day that
Speaker 1: happens is And I've said this before, but I think
Speaker 1: it's really powerful when you think about it. I think
Speaker 1: about this in the morning. It really stops me. None
Speaker 1: of us, and I mean literally, none of us would
Speaker 1: let one hundred people walk into our bedroom first thing
Speaker 1: in the morning. That's true. Ever, before doing your hair,
Speaker 1: before you do maybe your makeup, getting clothes on, having
Speaker 1: a shower. You never do that, but we let one
Speaker 1: hundred notifications enter our mind. That's literally trying to shake
Speaker 1: our consciousness awake, right, It's like really trying to wake
Speaker 1: your mind up. You're expecting your mind going from zero
Speaker 1: to sixty miles per hour in five seconds when you
Speaker 1: open up Instagram or WhatsApp or emails, and it's so
Speaker 1: much pressure on our minds. That's really all it is.
Speaker 1: It's pressure and stress for your mind to have to
Speaker 1: wake up and warm up way quicker than our bodies do.
Speaker 1: So that's been a huge one for me. That rule.
Speaker 1: The other rule I love, which I fail out all
Speaker 1: the time but I'm trying, is no technology zones in
Speaker 1: your home and no technology times. So I believe that
Speaker 1: the bedroom and the dining table should be technology free
Speaker 1: because it's more fun to sleep and eat with people. Yep,
Speaker 1: so we shouldn't. We should take them out of those
Speaker 1: two places in the home. Everywhere else you can use
Speaker 1: them places in your home, yes, where you can have
Speaker 1: human connections, human time in the just take it away
Speaker 1: from those areas. And I think you almost have to
Speaker 1: imagine when you walking around your home, you almost have
Speaker 1: to imagine, like a red line around the dining table
Speaker 1: and a red line around the bedroom, almost like a
Speaker 1: laser like imagine if you cross over, it's going to
Speaker 1: like electrocute you or something. Maybe we should do that
Speaker 1: for some time. You know that could stop you. Bet,
Speaker 1: So that's it. Setting up rules around technology for me
Speaker 1: has been huge. Making sure that when I get back
Speaker 1: in the evening, you're not using technology past seven pm APM.
Speaker 1: Whatever that rule is for you. And yes you're gonna
Speaker 1: break it, of course, and yes you're not gonna be perfect,
Speaker 1: But the point is, at least if you have the rule,
Speaker 1: you're working towards something. That's really what wonders for me. Definitely,
Speaker 1: at least if it's four out seven days a week, like,
Speaker 1: that's good enough for me.
Speaker 2: You're so good with your words and you're such a
Speaker 2: great listener, but who is your rock? Who's the person
Speaker 2: that's listening to you? And you're able to bounce everything off.
Speaker 1: My wife, My wife is definitely my right. Like she's amazing.
Speaker 1: She's more monk than I'll ever be because she naturally
Speaker 1: has these like sage like qualities, like so waking up
Speaker 1: for her is like a piece of cake. My wife
Speaker 1: looks at five am every day and can meditate five
Speaker 1: am five am, and spiritual qualities too. She just has that.
Speaker 1: So for me, I find my wife's amazing. She's always
Speaker 1: good at making sure that I'm doing things for the
Speaker 1: right reason. She's always good at checking me. She's always
Speaker 1: good at humbling me, grounding me, but in a good way,
Speaker 1: not in a critical way, but in a j I
Speaker 1: know you can be better than this.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I really have that with her.
Speaker 2: You know, you need a cheerleader. Yes, I think it's
Speaker 2: very important. Yeah, and I think that again on social media,
Speaker 2: there's like always these ideas of like fairy tale relationships, right,
Speaker 2: and expectations, and people aren't talking about what they need.
Speaker 2: And I know that you have to talk about relationships
Speaker 2: a lot on your social media, like people really want
Speaker 2: to know about relationship. Yes, this is something that's kind
Speaker 2: of plaguing people. Yeah, I kind of to get into
Speaker 2: it a little bit. It's because I feel like, even
Speaker 2: though you may not be the expert, you kind of
Speaker 2: have to be an expert because of all of like
Speaker 2: your followers and all their questions.
Speaker 1: About Well, I think this is fun because I know
Speaker 1: you have a wonderful relationship too. Yeah, so my things
Speaker 1: never been to be an expert. What I think is
Speaker 1: it's fun to unpack the journey when you're on it, right,
Speaker 1: Like I almost think like you never get to the
Speaker 1: end of the journey. So how do you ever become
Speaker 1: an expert because it's almost like if you're an expert,
Speaker 1: then that's like you're saying I've nailed this.
Speaker 2: No, but it's it's.
Speaker 1: You can never can't be it can't be an expert
Speaker 1: in something like relationships because your relationships always evolving, Like
Speaker 1: for example, you're having a baby now, yes, that's going
Speaker 1: to evolve your relationshiship change.
Speaker 2: I've never been more in love with Justin than right now.
Speaker 2: I love hearing that yes, Like it's just something about
Speaker 2: growing life with him is oh my gosh, it like
Speaker 2: makes my heart melt. But then when the baby comes,
Speaker 2: they all say everybody says like, and we.
Speaker 1: Don't have to sign up for that, everybody I know.
Speaker 2: And that's the other thing. You don't have to listen
Speaker 2: to what everybody says. I have blocked out so many
Speaker 2: things that people are like, you know, what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: It's going to be like this, and I'm like, does
Speaker 1: it have to be like that? It doesn't know, there
Speaker 1: are certain trends and patterns that we can be wary of,
Speaker 1: of course, and people see that, they're like, Okay, when
Speaker 1: you get married, this happens, when you have kids, this
Speaker 1: of course. But I think if you let that define
Speaker 1: your whole experience, that's the biggest mistake you can make.
Speaker 1: And so for me, all I'm trying to share is
Speaker 1: the journey and the process of figuring it out. That's
Speaker 1: all I'm trying to share. And when she was the
Speaker 1: first guest on my podcast that I interviewed, and the
Speaker 1: whole conversation was, here's all the mistakes we made in
Speaker 1: our first three years of marriage, like, this is what
Speaker 1: we got wrong. Oh wow, you went in. That's what
Speaker 1: we talked about because I wanted people to hear how
Speaker 1: much stuff we've worked through, because that's the fun of it.
Speaker 1: Because when you can have fun working through stuff and
Speaker 1: people are hearing that, they're like, oh, my relationship is
Speaker 1: not so different now, because if all I'm seeing is
Speaker 1: the selfies and the happiness and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: So for me, that's where my expertise is. My expertise
Speaker 1: is how do I share while I'm going through it
Speaker 1: and with you just the experience I have. So like,
Speaker 1: I'm not giving advice to couples who have kids, right
Speaker 1: because I've not been through that. I don't know what
Speaker 1: that feels like. When I go through it, I'll figure
Speaker 1: it out and I'll share some So I'm sharing pre marriage,
Speaker 1: getting married. The earlier is in marriage what I'm.
Speaker 2: Learning from that point, which also is a really hard
Speaker 2: part of the marriage. I think, so it is. Our
Speaker 2: first year was quite interesting to say go on. I mean,
Speaker 2: it was just like we waited till we were married
Speaker 2: to have sex. We hadn't lived together. My career was
Speaker 2: really kind of started taking off, and he went to
Speaker 2: grad school, and it was like finding this balance of
Speaker 2: like who we are in so many different aspects, but
Speaker 2: like knowing that divorce is not an option, so it's
Speaker 2: like we have to focus and work on this. And
Speaker 2: nobody they tell you, oh, marriages work, marriages work, but
Speaker 2: nobody can explain it to you because every marriage is
Speaker 2: so different. So it's good to hear that other people
Speaker 2: are explaining their first three years of marriage and the
Speaker 2: struggles that they've been through. Something we did do on
Speaker 2: our Honeymoon actually was read the Five Love Languages. Have
Speaker 2: you read that? I loved that book.
Speaker 1: I've made videos on that book. Yeah, I've made like
Speaker 1: three videos on that book. And I think Gary Chapman's
Speaker 1: a genius.
Speaker 2: What are your languages?
Speaker 1: I believe your love languages based a lot about how
Speaker 1: your parents loved you. Oh iNeST, so my love like.
Speaker 2: You want what your parents didn't give you, or you
Speaker 2: still want what they gave you, both depending on how
Speaker 2: good or brother correct.
Speaker 1: So mine was and this is how I traced it back.
Speaker 1: I love my mom. She's amazing. And when my mom
Speaker 1: was raising me, she sometimes couldn't spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time in me because she was working too. But I
Speaker 1: knew that on my birthday she would always get me
Speaker 1: the gift that I wanted. She would always get it,
Speaker 1: no matter what it was. And we didn't grow up
Speaker 1: with a lot, but she would save up make sure
Speaker 1: that I had it, and she would find it and
Speaker 1: should get it for me, and it would just be
Speaker 1: one thing, but it would always be the one thing
Speaker 1: I most wanted. So, like one year is like Power
Speaker 1: Rangers or something like that, And I realized that I
Speaker 1: associated love with gifts.
Speaker 2: So is that your number one?
Speaker 1: That was my number one love language? Is it giving
Speaker 1: and getting? Yes? So I love giving people grand gestures
Speaker 1: and I love receiving grand gestures. But my wife, her
Speaker 1: number one love language is quality time because her family
Speaker 1: on their birthdays and stuff, would just time spent. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they wouldn't go out to work that day, her dad
Speaker 1: would stay home. They would plan an activity or whatever
Speaker 1: something like that, and so they spend time together. So
Speaker 1: when we met, I was like, where's my gift? Like
Speaker 1: where is it? It's like, do you not love me?
Speaker 1: And I would be giving her these grand gestures and
Speaker 1: gifts on her birthday and she'd be like, I just
Speaker 1: want to spend time with you, and.
Speaker 2: Okay, I want you to break mine down.
Speaker 1: Go on.
Speaker 2: I'm acts of service? Yes, what does it mean that
Speaker 2: giving out receiving? I like getting acts of service? Like,
Speaker 2: if you want to love me acts of service?
Speaker 1: Well, that's the hardest one, right was amazing is a
Speaker 1: talented man?
Speaker 2: That is I mean it's like the vacuums make the
Speaker 2: best and the thing that I asked you one time
Speaker 2: and it's done.
Speaker 1: Wow, that is impressive. Oh yeah, active service is one
Speaker 1: of the hardest ones. Oh, so I'm hard. No you're not. No. No,
Speaker 1: So that's me projecting my bias and how scary. That's
Speaker 1: me going, oh my god, I'm so glad that I
Speaker 1: could never do that. I could never live up to that.
Speaker 1: But no, that's beautiful and that's what I mean. That
Speaker 1: you are with a partner who understands that, loves that,
Speaker 1: is able to give that, and that's great.
Speaker 2: Love languages are very important in relationships, and Justin's time
Speaker 2: spent and physical touch okay, those are his tops. So
Speaker 2: I just know that, like I know what he needs
Speaker 2: and you knows what I need. And I think that
Speaker 2: anybody who feels like they're not connecting with their partner
Speaker 2: should read that book.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. I love that book. I recommend it
Speaker 1: to everyone. And I think the biggest thing we should
Speaker 1: all notice is until you read that book and until
Speaker 1: you figure out love languages, you are speaking different languages, right,
Speaker 1: and so it's like literally speaking to your partner in
Speaker 1: a language they don't understand, right, And so you could
Speaker 1: be doing everything like for example, for you, you know,
Speaker 1: Justin could be buying you like the best gifts in
Speaker 1: the world and taking on fancy holidays and all this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, but he's not doing acts of service,
Speaker 1: and you're going to be like, well, now, what doesn't
Speaker 1: he love me? Yeah, exactly any and he does. Like
Speaker 1: you may be with someone, anyone who's listening and watching
Speaker 1: this right now. You may have someone who loves you deeply.
Speaker 1: You've just never articulated what your love language is. You
Speaker 1: have to speak up. You have to share it. You
Speaker 1: can't no one can read in between the lines. You
Speaker 1: can't expect that person to figure it out by looking
Speaker 1: at you. You need to tell them this is how
Speaker 1: I feel most loved right This is what I need
Speaker 1: to feel loved. And I see so many couples that
Speaker 1: get scared about saying this or doing this or there.
Speaker 1: It's like hard for your ego because being able to
Speaker 1: have enough vulnerability and openness to say to your wife,
Speaker 1: I need you to tell me I've got this right
Speaker 1: like words of affirmation that I need words of affirmations,
Speaker 1: and you know, the ego goes, oh no, I don't
Speaker 1: really need that for my wife. But you have to
Speaker 1: share it. If you don't tell them that, how are
Speaker 1: they're going to know. You're got to put your ego
Speaker 1: aside and be really open and honest.
Speaker 2: Everything you talk about on social media and through your
Speaker 2: videos is so emotional based, and there's just a lot
Speaker 2: of like that inner work, especially like with relationships. But
Speaker 2: what about the physical aspect, like physical like the intimacy
Speaker 2: and all of that.
Speaker 1: Do you ever touch on any of that?
Speaker 2: Ah?
Speaker 1: Let me think I've definitely talked about it from an
Speaker 1: abuse point of view, right, You're talking about from a.
Speaker 2: From well, like when you're married, sex is important, yeah, right,
Speaker 2: And I think that for me, my understanding is like
Speaker 2: you have to have the emotional first before the sex
Speaker 2: can stay consistent, correct and great.
Speaker 1: It's so much easier to talk about that or go
Speaker 1: into that, And that's why I focus so much on
Speaker 1: my content on the other side, right, And my content
Speaker 1: is so heavily focused on the compatibility, on the healing,
Speaker 1: on the deep work, because I'm like, if people get
Speaker 1: this right, they're gonna have an amazing relationships, You're gonna
Speaker 1: have amazing physical Like everything's gonna be great. But when
Speaker 1: you look at all these magazine covers and you always see, like,
Speaker 1: you know, the seven things she wants in bed and
Speaker 1: the three things, and it's always those things. And that's
Speaker 1: what I love about what I've been able to do
Speaker 1: with video is that we've shifted the conversation. The videos
Speaker 1: game millions, millions and millions of views, but we're talking
Speaker 1: about stuff that actually is going to make a difference,
Speaker 1: right Whereas you telling someone like, these are the three
Speaker 1: things she wants in bed, like, that's not going to
Speaker 1: change your relationship. If you aren't compatible, if you don't connect,
Speaker 1: if you don't speak the right love languages, if you're
Speaker 1: not empathetic, if you're not vulnerable, like, then that three
Speaker 1: list of this and seven lists of that isn't going
Speaker 1: to do anything. It's void. And that's where I'm trying
Speaker 1: to get to with people, because I don't want people
Speaker 1: to use sex as a substitute for that, and I
Speaker 1: don't want people to use sex as an excuse for that,
Speaker 1: and I don't want people to use sex as a
Speaker 1: cover up for not having any of that, because I
Speaker 1: know having been in tons of relationships where it was
Speaker 1: just physical and that's all there was. That's the only
Speaker 1: time it felt good. It didn't felt good at any
Speaker 1: other time. I didn't go home with a beautiful feeling
Speaker 1: in my heart. And then when it's only about that,
Speaker 1: that's also when it can be easily replaced, right, Because
Speaker 1: that's easily changeable, right, And that's why I think so
Speaker 1: many people go through and I talk about my videos
Speaker 1: so much about cheating and loyalty, because when it is
Speaker 1: just physical, it becomes so much more easier to just
Speaker 1: disconnect and till away it's happened.
Speaker 2: And now heartbreak, Yes, what's your advice on heartbreak?
Speaker 1: I know you.
Speaker 2: You have a video up it's like the five things
Speaker 2: people should do through heartbreak, and one of them is like,
Speaker 2: get rid of everything from the past and only focus
Speaker 2: on the present in the future. I like that's hard
Speaker 2: for people.
Speaker 1: I like getting rid of visual triggers. I think the
Speaker 1: challenge in a lot of our lives is that we're
Speaker 1: surrounded by the same sounds, the same sights, right, and
Speaker 1: the same people that we were in our past. And
Speaker 1: I see this with anything. And I'm sure you felt
Speaker 1: this when you went deeper into your faith. Did your
Speaker 1: circles change?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: When you went deeper into your faith? Did what you
Speaker 1: look at change? Right? So you look at my heart change,
Speaker 1: your heart changed, but internal lint external?
Speaker 2: Yes, Because for me, when I transformed in my faith,
Speaker 2: it was a transformation of my heart, yes, not about
Speaker 2: what I was actually doing or not doing correct.
Speaker 1: And that's what I feel for anyone, anyone that I've
Speaker 1: witnessed and observed go through transformation in their life. Their
Speaker 1: environments have changed, and so for me, a lot of
Speaker 1: us are making it harder for yourself. It's like saying,
Speaker 1: I want to start working out every day, but I
Speaker 1: don't own any trainers. Right, It's like that's not going
Speaker 1: to work. It's like doing the opposite, Like I want
Speaker 1: to go on a diet, but I'm going to keep
Speaker 1: chocolate cake in my refrigerator, right Like it's that. So
Speaker 1: you're saying, I want to get over the past, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to keep my ex's sweater right next to me,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to keep all these text messages that
Speaker 1: I could keep reading through.
Speaker 2: Again, why do people go back and read text messages
Speaker 2: because from someone that broke their.
Speaker 1: Heart, Because nostalgia and imagination is more powerful, right, the
Speaker 1: feeling of nostalgia, And this is in studies too, Like
Speaker 1: the research by nostalgia is you always think things were
Speaker 1: better in the past with something like that. So you
Speaker 1: read a message, You're like, oh, but they love me
Speaker 1: so much and now, what you're doing is reality is here,
Speaker 1: and you've got your own version of reality playing here.
Speaker 1: So you're basically writing your own movie script up here
Speaker 1: when reality is telling you this, and nostalgia is that script.
Speaker 2: That fantasy that's never going to be.
Speaker 1: That fantasy that isn't real. So it's you saying I
Speaker 1: don't want to accept what is, and I'm trying to accept.
Speaker 2: What if those people who can't get over that hump?
Speaker 1: What do you tell them? One of the biggest things
Speaker 1: like do you really want no? No, no, no, no, it's good,
Speaker 1: it's a good conversation. I think one of the biggest
Speaker 1: things I say to people is just like, let's kind
Speaker 1: of break their space that they're in. It's almost like
Speaker 1: that person needs a space change and they need to
Speaker 1: get out of that zone. And so for me, I'm
Speaker 1: always encouraging people to start doing new things. I think
Speaker 1: it's so powerful when you go and have a new experience,
Speaker 1: when you try something new, you join a new class,
Speaker 1: you've never done it before, because guess what, it's about
Speaker 1: finding yourself again. So you're now learning new things about yourself.
Speaker 1: You're now falling in love with yourself. It's about falling
Speaker 1: in love with you correct, And I think that the
Speaker 1: biggest mistake we make in that time is everyone's telling you, oh,
Speaker 1: when's the rebound, Like are you going to date this guy?
Speaker 1: When are you going to start dating again or this girl?
Speaker 1: When you're going to be out there again? And it's
Speaker 1: almost like, well, no, maybe it's about I go inside
Speaker 1: this time and spend some time with myself. And I
Speaker 1: think new experiences are a beautiful way of doing that,
Speaker 1: because you only learn new things about yourself when you
Speaker 1: do new things with yourself right free. You never, like,
Speaker 1: we never do new things with ourselves. You're always you're
Speaker 1: always doing the same things with the same people. But
Speaker 1: imagine you start doing new things on your own, and
Speaker 1: now you have new memories. And one of the things
Speaker 1: I've been talking about a lot with people is forming
Speaker 1: new memories. If you don't make new memories, the old
Speaker 1: ones will always hold you back. And that's why we're
Speaker 1: stuck in the old because we're not making any new ones,
Speaker 1: so the old ones just keep pulling you back. So
Speaker 1: the best way to make new memories is a set
Speaker 1: up an experience do with a friend that you love,
Speaker 1: and when you go out there, it's this technique that's
Speaker 1: often used for grounding and therapy and everything, but I
Speaker 1: use it for presents and that's how we were trained
Speaker 1: in it as monks. When you go somewhere and you're like,
Speaker 1: I want to take a mental picture of this. How
Speaker 1: many times have you ever said that? Where you go somewhere,
Speaker 1: you're like, I want to have this in my mind
Speaker 1: and I want to keep it forever, and the iPhone
Speaker 1: camera is not and the camera is not going to
Speaker 1: do it. It's not going to keep it emotionally. And
Speaker 1: I think we're so bad at creating emotional memories that
Speaker 1: are new. So the best way to do it is
Speaker 1: called five four three two one. Okay, So when you're
Speaker 1: in a space and let's say I want to do
Speaker 1: it this, I look at five things that I can see,
Speaker 1: So five things that I can see right now. So
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, you obviously important part of the memory.
Speaker 2: You're important too. Yeah, Yeah, I'm doing it with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm going to say the rug, So I'm getting
Speaker 1: for space. You're going to look at the ceiling, so one, two, three, four,
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, the couch. There five things that
Speaker 1: I can see. The second thing is four things that
Speaker 1: you can touch. Okay, so four things I can touch my.
Speaker 2: Silky dress, really dry skin. You're good at descriptions, silky dress,
Speaker 2: dry skin, this is good. Texted ro yes and oh yeah, amazing.
Speaker 2: Three things that you can hear. I can hear the light, yes,
Speaker 2: I can hear myself swallow, and I can hear your
Speaker 2: voice perfect.
Speaker 1: And then two things that you can smell.
Speaker 2: I can smell my garlic breath. I'm having a hard
Speaker 2: time smelling basically anything because you can hear how clogged
Speaker 2: I am. Yeah, me too, but maybe my perfume.
Speaker 1: Okay. And then one thing about me. Yeah, no, that's
Speaker 1: and the one thing you can taste garlic. Great. So
Speaker 1: if you did that in an experience, then all you
Speaker 1: have to do to make a mental picture, to take
Speaker 1: a mental picture of everything you do. Five four, three
Speaker 1: to one. Five things you can see, four things you
Speaker 1: can touch, three things you can hear, two things you
Speaker 1: can smell, and one thing you can taste. I really
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, it's beautiful. And this is what I
Speaker 1: mean by when you're going through a breakup, the biggest
Speaker 1: mistake you make is the old memories hold you back
Speaker 1: because you don't know how to make new memories. And
Speaker 1: so my advice to everyone is go and make new memories.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I did Tony Robbins right, and it was
Speaker 2: the lightning. It was fun and the biggest thing that
Speaker 2: I came away with was I don't live in the present.
Speaker 2: I'm constantly living for the what's next. Yes, here we go,
Speaker 2: you know, okay, team, it's time to hustle. And he
Speaker 2: said what are you grateful for? And I mean I
Speaker 2: could sit there and say, I'm grateful for my health,
Speaker 2: I'm grateful for my family, I'm great, you know, like
Speaker 2: I could list a few things, but he said, what
Speaker 2: are you grateful for in your career? And it's like
Speaker 2: I had to really go so deep. And I think
Speaker 2: that maybe if I started doing in the five four
Speaker 2: three two one, I would be able to go back
Speaker 2: to experiences that I thought my heart remembered, but my
Speaker 2: mind did it totally. And I am totally implementing five
Speaker 2: fourth three.
Speaker 1: And that's exactly what it's so today it's used for
Speaker 1: a lot of people who struggle with anxiety to bring
Speaker 1: them back into the moment. When we were trained in
Speaker 1: as monks, it was what we did for presents, like
Speaker 1: is Zellie what you said. And this is why the
Speaker 1: biggest mistake we make is when you're having an experience,
Speaker 1: the only sense we activate is the eyes. And that's
Speaker 1: where when you're trying to think of a past memory,
Speaker 1: you go, what was it again? Because you have to
Speaker 1: close your eyes because that was the only one that
Speaker 1: was activated. Whereas what we've done with five four three
Speaker 1: to one is you've now absorbed this memory through all
Speaker 1: the five senses, which means each one of them is
Speaker 1: going to give you a different bond. And I like it. Yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: all right, switching gears a little bit.
Speaker 2: I really feel like insecurities breed negativity, right, And a
Speaker 2: model that I like to live by is kill people
Speaker 2: with kindness. What do you think about that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I love that. I agree with you completely. This
Speaker 1: is the beautiful thing that happens when you say thank
Speaker 1: you to someone who's kind to you. It does three things.
Speaker 1: The first thing is you recognize kindness, So now you're
Speaker 1: triggering your mind to start recognizing kindness and you're not
Speaker 1: recognizing kindness in them. The second thing you do is
Speaker 1: you reinforce kindness in them. They realize they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: when I'm kind people appreciate it, so I'm going to
Speaker 1: be more kind. So you've now reinforced kindness within them.
Speaker 1: And the third thing is you help them repeat it.
Speaker 1: Now that you've shown them that their kindness is reciprocated,
Speaker 1: they're now going to be kind to more people. So
Speaker 1: when you recognize kindness in someone, it reinforces that belief
Speaker 1: that kindness is amazing, and then they repeat that kindness
Speaker 1: to other people. So now you've started this domino effect
Speaker 1: of kindness just by thanking one person who knew.
Speaker 2: It's so interesting to hear you talking about being a
Speaker 2: monk and like how you spend half the day working
Speaker 2: on yourself and half of the other day working to
Speaker 2: give out to others. What is your take on putting
Speaker 2: yourself first? And like is it selfish?
Speaker 1: So with monkey teachings, the point is you are taking
Speaker 1: care of yourself first in order to serve better. So
Speaker 1: it's always like I'm going to put myself first so
Speaker 1: that I can fill up so that I can serve
Speaker 1: with more it because we want to serve with our
Speaker 1: best selves. I always say this people. It's like people
Speaker 1: just like Jay, should I go to this party? Should
Speaker 1: I go oud to this event? Should I call up
Speaker 1: this person, Should I do this? Should I do that?
Speaker 1: I'm just like, well, if you're going to show up
Speaker 1: there with that energy where you're gonna have to convince
Speaker 1: yourself to go, then guess what that person's going to
Speaker 1: feel that, right, is if you're want to show up
Speaker 1: and you're gonna show up with your best So I
Speaker 1: feel for me, it's not selfish. If the intention is
Speaker 1: I want to give more and serve more, that's good.
Speaker 1: It's selfish when it's just like, oh, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: take care of myself because that's all that matters. Right
Speaker 1: where it's just like, no, I'm gonna take it on
Speaker 1: myself because I want to give my best self to
Speaker 1: the people I love, to the people of the world,
Speaker 1: to the people I care for, and so I'm going
Speaker 1: to keep prioritizing myself. So I went down the wrong journey.
Speaker 1: When I first started wanting to serve, I used to
Speaker 1: just think, Oh, I'm going to stay up all night.
Speaker 1: Someone needs me to drive halfway across the country, I'll
Speaker 1: do that. And I would do things like that, and
Speaker 1: I started to realize I was just people pleasing. I
Speaker 1: wasn't serving. I was actually serving my own ego. That
Speaker 1: was the most selfish thing. Interesting, it was the most
Speaker 1: selfish thing because it's just people pleasing. But then I realized,
Speaker 1: actually me saying, look, you know what, I need to
Speaker 1: go a good night's sleep tonight, but I promise you
Speaker 1: first in the morning, we're going to talk about this
Speaker 1: and I'm going to bring my best self to this conversation.
Speaker 1: People started to respect that and value that and gave
Speaker 1: me that space. And so for me, as long as
Speaker 1: your intention is clear that you're putting yourself first so
Speaker 1: you can give more, that's the best thing you can do.
Speaker 1: Because I don't want to die early because I'm negligent
Speaker 1: of my health, because I mean, you're going to serve
Speaker 1: less in the long term.
Speaker 2: And have you noticed this shift on social media where
Speaker 2: it feels like we're all kind of competing in the
Speaker 2: self care Olympics. What do you feel like that pressure
Speaker 2: is that for everybody just to like look and feel centered.
Speaker 1: I think it's a good thing that people are now
Speaker 1: starting to realize that fatigue is not a badge of honor,
Speaker 1: that you're only successful if you feel that way at
Speaker 1: the end of the day. But I think this is
Speaker 1: what always happens in the world. Balance only comes when
Speaker 1: we go from one extreme to the other extreme. So
Speaker 1: at one point, maybe a few years ago, I don't
Speaker 1: know how long, people were always like, you have to,
Speaker 1: you know, grind and hustle, and that's the only thing
Speaker 1: about success. And you have to work hard. And if
Speaker 1: you're not tired, then you're never going to be successful.
Speaker 1: You're never going to be a millionaire, billion or whatever
Speaker 1: it is. And I think that was the talk. And
Speaker 1: now the talk's gone the other way. If you're not
Speaker 1: getting a message every week and you're not you know,
Speaker 1: sleeping eight hours and massages, yes, exactly, and then it
Speaker 1: goes to the other extreme. And that's how the world
Speaker 1: gets back into balance. Right, And we know the answers
Speaker 1: the middle, right, We know that you need to feel
Speaker 1: a bit stretched in order to work on yourself. You
Speaker 1: need to work on yourself to stretch yourself a little more.
Speaker 1: And life is never the perfect middle. It's constantly back
Speaker 1: and forth. And I think that's the mistake. We're looking
Speaker 1: for middle, or we're looking for extreme, and actually it's
Speaker 1: just back and forth. It's just oscillating. I'm never at
Speaker 1: a point where I'm like, oh my life is in
Speaker 1: perfect balance, because balance is a myth.
Speaker 2: What are three pices for self care that you live
Speaker 2: by or that you give as examples?
Speaker 1: One of my favorite ones is what I talk about
Speaker 1: emotional vocabulary. So Harvard and you can google this has
Speaker 1: this great table and it shows how limited our emotional
Speaker 1: vocabulary is. So what I mean by this is if
Speaker 1: someone asks you, how's your week been? That's all right?
Speaker 1: All right? Good? Bad? Fine? Okay? Right, how's your wee
Speaker 1: going good? How's your day been? Okay? How are you
Speaker 1: doing tonight? Fine? Right? That's literally how we describe our lives.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I say so good, I love it good. At
Speaker 1: least you've got an expansive emotional vocabulary so expensive, but
Speaker 1: our emotional vocabulary so limited. Now there's a challenge here.
Speaker 1: We don't get to understand how we truly feel because
Speaker 1: we never articulate and express it. So when you say
Speaker 1: that you're angry, are you offended? Are you irritated? Are
Speaker 1: you defensive? There's so much more to the word angry
Speaker 1: than just anger. Or when you say I'm sad. When
Speaker 1: you say you're sad, are you upset? Are you regretful?
Speaker 1: Are you triggered? Right? There's just so much more. When
Speaker 1: you self diagnose and you limit your vocabulary, you're just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just sad, I'm just angry, and which means that
Speaker 1: you can't articulate to yourself what you're really dealing with,
Speaker 1: and you can't articulate to a friend what you're dealing with,
Speaker 1: so you don't feel understood. And feeling understood is such
Speaker 1: an important part of self care. The feeling that I
Speaker 1: can articulate what I'm really going through and someone understands me.
Speaker 1: That's huge for self care. I think it's one of
Speaker 1: the most important things of self care. When you look
Speaker 1: at someone and you feel they really get me. Isn't
Speaker 1: that so good for your confidence and your self worth
Speaker 1: and your significance. You like that feel loved exactly all
Speaker 1: in one moment. So for me, that's one of the
Speaker 1: best self care techniques is when I'm struggling with something,
Speaker 1: let me not settle for the base level emotion, let
Speaker 1: me really understand it. And then if you're speaking to
Speaker 1: a therapist, you're speaking to your adoptor you're speaking to
Speaker 1: your friend, you can now actually articulate it better so
Speaker 1: they can actually help you back Wow, and you full understood.
Speaker 1: The second yeah, The second self get that I absolutely
Speaker 1: love is how we talk to ourselves, right, and so
Speaker 1: this to me is probably the biggest one. One thing
Speaker 1: I was talking about is I looked at the definition
Speaker 1: of confidence, and I've never done this, but I love.
Speaker 2: Literally I haven't either. I've never talked about confidence all
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 1: So I told I look at the definition and it
Speaker 1: starts off by talking about self assurance and you think, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I imagine when confidence. And then it says
Speaker 1: and it's the appreciation of one's own abilities and qualities,
Speaker 1: which blew my mind. Notice it didn't say receiving appreciation
Speaker 1: for your qualities self. Yeah, appreciation of one's own abilities
Speaker 1: and qualities, not the appreciation of others, not the validation
Speaker 1: of our there's not the approval of others.
Speaker 2: But that's why you can say I have confidence in you,
Speaker 2: correct or I have confidence in myself correct.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, And so the way we talk to ourselves
Speaker 1: is all over the place. It's key. When you're going
Speaker 1: out to a party, you dress up and you look
Speaker 1: at the person and you go, how do I look
Speaker 1: in this? And I'm like, no, ask yourself, how do
Speaker 1: I look in this like how do I feel in this?
Speaker 1: Or when you go to an interview people say how
Speaker 1: would people describe me in three words? It's like, why
Speaker 1: do we care about how people would describe it? How
Speaker 1: would I describe myself in three words? And so for me,
Speaker 1: the way we talk to ourselves is such a big thing.
Speaker 1: So I have this mechanism that I love coaching people
Speaker 1: on and sharing with people. It's called spot stop swap
Speaker 1: spot my British accent. Okay, spot spot a spot of tea.
Speaker 1: Spot stop stop swap swap. Yeah. So every time that's
Speaker 1: very good, that's very very and I'm not even that partial,
Speaker 1: but you made me sound really fush.
Speaker 2: I I love it.
Speaker 1: I feel like we need to hold a bit of tea.
Speaker 1: But spot stop swap. So every time you notice yourself
Speaker 1: say something negative to yourself, oh, spot it first, start
Speaker 1: spotting that pattern because that's all it is. It's a pattern.
Speaker 1: And we don't realize how much the words we say
Speaker 1: to ourselves have an impact. That when you say something
Speaker 1: like yourself like oh I'm starving. Right when you say that,
Speaker 1: guess what your body gets triggered into feeling like it's starving. Son.
Speaker 1: So do I That's what I'm picking on this example,
Speaker 1: Whereas what you actually mean is I've been lazy, I
Speaker 1: haven't planned my meals, i haven't eaten for two three hours,
Speaker 1: and you're saying I'm starving. Starving is the person who
Speaker 1: doesn't know where their next meal is coming from. You're
Speaker 1: just hungry and disorganize. And so when we say to myself,
Speaker 1: I'm exhausted, rather than saying I'm going to make time
Speaker 1: for a nap today or I'm going to sleep earlier today,
Speaker 1: you're saying the same thing. But what you're saying is changing.
Speaker 1: It's a spot first, spot that pattern. One of the
Speaker 1: things I think a lot of people say to themselves
Speaker 1: is I'm not good enough. I'm ugly, I'm not beautiful.
Speaker 1: She's beautiful, he's really good looking, he's got a great body,
Speaker 1: she's whatever. And if you spot that, where is that happening.
Speaker 1: It's usually happening when you're browsing through social media. So
Speaker 1: now let's stop. Let's limit the time you spend in
Speaker 1: that place with that person. Whatever it is that's sparking
Speaker 1: and triggering that thought, Let's limit that time and then
Speaker 1: let's swap it for something better. So what am I
Speaker 1: going to swap that with. I'm going to listen to
Speaker 1: Ashley's podcast. I'm going to read this book that actually recommended,
Speaker 1: called The Five Love Languages. I'm going to go to
Speaker 1: a class that I've been wanting to go to, or
Speaker 1: a workshop or whatever it may be. Like, you've now
Speaker 1: opened yourself up to swapping it to spot stop swap
Speaker 1: to start to spot the patterns the way you talk
Speaker 1: to yourself that are bringing you down. Start stopping being
Speaker 1: in those places and times that spark that thought because
Speaker 1: there's usually an alignment, and then swap it, upgrade it
Speaker 1: for something higher. Yeah that's good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't say it three times fast though.
Speaker 1: Spot stops. Yeah. So that's That's really my second one
Speaker 1: and my third one. This is probably one of my
Speaker 1: favorite ones right now. And I think we've been told
Speaker 1: for a long time that you're the average of the
Speaker 1: five people who spend most time with We've had that
Speaker 1: again and again and again, and everyone's always like, get
Speaker 1: together with people and be like and stuff. And I've
Speaker 1: been thinking about that a lot lately, and I was
Speaker 1: a lot of my friends were saying, you know, je,
Speaker 1: I'm always around people, but I still feel lonely. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've heard there people like I'm busy,
Speaker 1: but I'm lonely. I'm around people, especially here in LA
Speaker 1: and New York, right, Yeah, and you feel that people
Speaker 1: feel lonely. And I said, the challenge is we need
Speaker 1: to stop getting together and when you start growing together.
Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is, schedule one experience
Speaker 1: once a week with a friend. Well, you're both growing together.
Speaker 1: Choose an activity that neither of you are a proa.
Speaker 1: So don't go to yoga class if one of you
Speaker 1: is a yoga enthusiast and the other is it. Go
Speaker 1: somewhere where there's a level playing field. Why because you
Speaker 1: now get a fresh experience together. It's so good because
Speaker 1: it boosts your confidence. So you're bad totally. And because
Speaker 1: you're going together and you're both bad, there's no pressure.
Speaker 1: And my best memory of this is once for training,
Speaker 1: I was sent to Chicago and it was eighty of
Speaker 1: us who'd never worked together. This was when I joined
Speaker 1: a corporate company. Eight of us were sent to Chicago
Speaker 1: for training, but we were told it was Chicago, but
Speaker 1: actually we were two hours outside of Chicago, in the
Speaker 1: middle of nowhere, and we'd be at training nine am
Speaker 1: to six pm, and then at six pm it was
Speaker 1: too late to get into Chicago, so we'd have to
Speaker 1: do something. And the only thing we could do is
Speaker 1: play sport because there are all these outdoor sports places.
Speaker 1: Ten of us every night would go out and we
Speaker 1: played volleyball in the snow. None of us had ever
Speaker 1: played volleyball before. I could pick up the phone to
Speaker 1: any of these people today because we all just had
Speaker 1: this crazy unique experience together and you're learning something together.
Speaker 1: I think we underestimate this. Learning something every day is
Speaker 1: huge for your self care because you only feel good
Speaker 1: about yourself when you feel your progressing. So I started
Speaker 1: this really simple habit and it's learning a new word
Speaker 1: every single day.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, I've been writing down in my notes.
Speaker 1: Woh I love this. Okay amazing. So literally learning a
Speaker 1: new word everything. And you may say, yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to learn a new city, or I want to learn
Speaker 1: about a new culture, or I want to learn about
Speaker 1: a new cuisine, or I want to learn, but make
Speaker 1: it small and something you can achieve, like in three minutes.
Speaker 1: And so my word today was maraki mr aki. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And what it means is to do something with soul
Speaker 1: or to create and leave a piece of you in it,
Speaker 1: in what you create. And what I love about that
Speaker 1: word is, now I've shared that with you. We're not
Speaker 1: having a discussion about it. You've now contributed to a conversation.
Speaker 1: Your self worth gets boosted because you've learned something new,
Speaker 1: You've proved to yourself you can remember and share it.
Speaker 1: Those are just some answers straight away that came to
Speaker 1: my mind. Practices that I think are really simple.
Speaker 2: They are simple. Explain them because I think some people
Speaker 2: just rattle things off and they don't go into explanation,
Speaker 2: and I think that's really important. I think that a
Speaker 2: lot of people are looking for peace. What do you
Speaker 2: say to those people who are just in search of peace?
Speaker 1: I'm glad you asked this. So the tagline of my
Speaker 1: book is called train your mind for peace and purpose
Speaker 1: every day.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: I believe that it's something that can be trained, and
Speaker 1: I believe it's something that you have to take responsibility for.
Speaker 1: The world around you is never going to be fully peaceful. Ever,
Speaker 1: even if there was world peace, you would still not
Speaker 1: have peace. With a little argument with your partner or
Speaker 1: a little issue at work. That's never going to disappear.
Speaker 1: So the desire for everything around you to be calmed
Speaker 1: is a wishful thought that doesn't have an end, whereas
Speaker 1: the feeling of wanting to create calm and peace within
Speaker 1: is very realistic. And the point is that that piece
Speaker 1: is always going to get triggered. And I think that's
Speaker 1: the mistake we make. We're looking for this perfect, consistent,
Speaker 1: never touched definition of piece, whereas piece is something you're
Speaker 1: constantly training yourself to look for. So what I would
Speaker 1: say is that people should try and find the one
Speaker 1: activity they have in their day that brings them peace.
Speaker 1: It could be sitting and having them warning tea. It
Speaker 1: could be sitting and reading from a book they love.
Speaker 1: It could be having a beautiful conversation in their partner.
Speaker 1: Whatever it is, just have one activity a day that
Speaker 1: brings you peace. In my book, obviously I talk about
Speaker 1: a lot more than that, but to find just something
Speaker 1: that brings you peace. It could be a mindset that
Speaker 1: brings you peace. So I really believe that all stress,
Speaker 1: pressure or lack of peace comes from your mind being
Speaker 1: ahead of your body, or your body being ahead of
Speaker 1: your mind. So how many times have you been in
Speaker 1: a scenario or your mind's like racing really really fast,
Speaker 1: and your body's like, oh, I just want to be
Speaker 1: in bed, right, right. Everyone been in that situation, yeah,
Speaker 1: Or you're in the opposite scenario where your body is
Speaker 1: moving really really fast doing a lot, but your mind's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm still want to be in bed.
Speaker 2: Oh that was me, yes, true, right, right.
Speaker 1: So we've all experienced both.
Speaker 2: You get into all this in your book, don't you. Yes, Oh,
Speaker 2: I can't wait.
Speaker 1: To get it. So the alignment of the two is
Speaker 1: what creates peace. Let's say why I did. I was
Speaker 1: running late today and I'm stressing. I'm like, I haven't
Speaker 1: thought about this, and I don't know what it's about.
Speaker 1: And maybe i'm you know, all that stuff that we
Speaker 1: know that you'd be stressed about when you're running to
Speaker 1: work and I'm sitting in the back of a lift
Speaker 1: or uber or I'm driving and I turn up to
Speaker 1: the meeting.
Speaker 2: Because you live in LA and you can draft correct.
Speaker 1: So what I would do is I sit down and
Speaker 1: I breathe in for the same count that I breathe out.
Speaker 1: So I breathe in for account of four and those
Speaker 1: through the nose, out through the mouth, and I breathe
Speaker 1: out for account of four. Now, when you breathe in
Speaker 1: for the same amount of time as you breathe out,
Speaker 1: you're lining your body and mind. Why because your mind
Speaker 1: is counting one two three four and your body in
Speaker 1: unison is breathing in and out one two three four.
Speaker 2: This is very similar to hypno birth things.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh oh no, I didn't know that I was.
Speaker 2: What they're teaching me through like going through contractions and things.
Speaker 2: It's amazing because it like it connects your body and
Speaker 2: your mind and it helps you deal with any kind
Speaker 2: of stress. Yes, and because I'll be going through physical
Speaker 2: stress correct, it's going to help me through that.
Speaker 1: Amazing. Yeah, I love that. And that's the point that
Speaker 1: whenever your mind or body are ahead or behind of
Speaker 1: each other, that's where you feel a lack of peace, right,
Speaker 1: And so you find peace when you come back into alignment.
Speaker 1: So Gandhi said, when what you think, what you say,
Speaker 1: and what you do are align, then you'll feel peace
Speaker 1: and harmony.
Speaker 2: I'm excited for more J. Shetty knowledge.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, you're very kind.
Speaker 2: No, you're kind.
Speaker 1: You're very kind, honestly, And I really love our conversations
Speaker 1: because a you ask an amazing question as well. Be
Speaker 1: you make it very fun to be around me, and
Speaker 1: see I'm just so impressed. Right, oh, I am blown away.
Speaker 2: Thank you for being here having me. But before I
Speaker 2: let you go, there's one thing that we do at
Speaker 2: the end of every pretty big deal. Everybody kind of
Speaker 2: freaks out. You don't have to get up and do
Speaker 2: but you have to answer a couple of questions. We
Speaker 2: do the live body lightning round. What's the last pretty
Speaker 2: penny you spent?
Speaker 1: Ooh? Probably these?
Speaker 2: Oh those are good. He's lifting up his ship. These
Speaker 2: are nice trainers. What's your biggest deal breaker on in
Speaker 2: any scenario?
Speaker 1: No? Intention? Oh that's good. If I don't feel someone
Speaker 1: as an intention, it doesn't have to be right or wrong,
Speaker 1: because I think that's subjective. Right.
Speaker 2: But it's like it's like an empty question.
Speaker 1: Correct, Like where's the heart? Is there? Any heart? Is there? Soul?
Speaker 1: Is there intention to this? Or is it just because?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: And because we're on pretty big deal and you're a
Speaker 2: pretty big deal, I want to know what's a pretty
Speaker 2: big deal to you.
Speaker 1: I'm not used to being on the other side of these.
Speaker 1: I ask a lot of this questions.
Speaker 2: I put it on the other side.
Speaker 1: I know you were great. A pretty big deal to
Speaker 1: me is being able to make really meaningful friendships after
Speaker 1: thirty years old. As we get older, I think it's
Speaker 1: hard to build really deep, meaningful relationships. A pretty big
Speaker 1: deal to me is finding really meaningful, deep, beautiful relationships
Speaker 1: that are genuine, authentic that I could pick up the
Speaker 1: phone too in a tough time, that would call me
Speaker 1: in a tough time. Yeah, I put that above everything.
Speaker 2: That's a good point there, Jay, Thank you so much
Speaker 2: for coming on. Thank you, Neil. I really appreciate you.
Speaker 1: This sears. Thank you. This is so much fun. It was.
Speaker 1: I love this. Check this out. On an average commercial flight,
Speaker 1: the captain has the autopilot engaged about ninety percent of
Speaker 1: the time, and some psychologists estimate that we make about
Speaker 1: ninety percent of our desc decisions similarly on autopilot without thinking.
Speaker 1: But unlike an airline pilot, when we take our hands
Speaker 1: off the controls, we don't usually end up where we
Speaker 1: want to go. But don't worry. There's a simple way
Speaker 1: that we can stay dialed In the next seven minutes
Speaker 1: are about intention and adding direction to the choices you
Speaker 1: make in life. I'm Jay sheddy, Welcome to the Daily Jay. Now,
Speaker 1: before we take off, let's pause and take three deep
Speaker 1: breaths to help us get centered. Breathing in and breathing out,
Speaker 1: inviting inward and releasing outward, opening up and settling in. Now,
Speaker 1: let me tell you a story. Before I started high school,
Speaker 1: if you'd have asked me what my worst subject was,
Speaker 1: I'd have said art, no question. But then I met
Speaker 1: mister Buckerridge. He was an art teacher in my school,
Speaker 1: Tall and thin, and I remember how he always wore
Speaker 1: these red checked shirts and knit ties. I also remember
Speaker 1: something mister Buckridge would do that really bugged me, at
Speaker 1: least at first. He'd stroll around the room looking at
Speaker 1: our work, and each time he'd stop at my desk
Speaker 1: and ask me this question why, like, why had I
Speaker 1: decided to use that color combination? I don't know. I'd say,
Speaker 1: because it looks cool. Mister Buckrage would shake his head,
Speaker 1: that's not a real reason. He always pushed me to
Speaker 1: really think things through, to be clear about my choices,
Speaker 1: and honestly, that's where I first learned the power and
Speaker 1: the importance of intentionality. That lesson has helped me throughout
Speaker 1: my life and it's one that can help you too.
Speaker 1: When I left high school, art had gone from being
Speaker 1: my worst class to my best. But it wasn't because
Speaker 1: I got good at painting or drawing. I didn't. I'm
Speaker 1: still terrible at them. It's because I learned to look
Speaker 1: at the world through the lens of intention. And now today,
Speaker 1: if I'm launching a new project, or even just decorating
Speaker 1: my office, at every step along the way, I know
Speaker 1: my why. When we ask why, it's like turning on
Speaker 1: a light in a dark room. We're no longer just
Speaker 1: feeling our way around, hoping we'll eventually find the door. Instead,
Speaker 1: we have a vision and an direction. It also ensures
Speaker 1: that we're living with purpose instead of being driven by
Speaker 1: unquestioned impulses or unexamined emotions. That we're not living life
Speaker 1: on autopilot or playing follow the leader. Why is an
Speaker 1: opportunity to check in with yourself to make sure that
Speaker 1: your actions align with your values and your priorities. Here's
Speaker 1: a simple, yet profound exercise today. At each decision point
Speaker 1: you encounter, as you contemplate your choice, pause and ask
Speaker 1: yourself why. Okay, it doesn't have to be every decision
Speaker 1: considering how many we actually make in a day, but
Speaker 1: try to do it for a few hours. Why am
Speaker 1: I having cereal for breakfast? Why am I opting to
Speaker 1: wear this shirt? Why am I stopping to buy a
Speaker 1: coffee on my way to work? And why did I
Speaker 1: choose this coffee shop? Remember answers like because it's cool
Speaker 1: or because I always do? We'll get the mister buckrage buzzer.
Speaker 1: Challenge yourself to go deeper. You might be surprised at
Speaker 1: what you discover and how being more thoughtful and deliberate
Speaker 1: impacts your life. I know it may seem like a
Speaker 1: little thing, but asking yourself why gives you back the
Speaker 1: controls so you can fly with direction and intention. And
Speaker 1: with that in mind, let's practice our intentionality as we
Speaker 1: turn to our meditation. First, yet comfortable wherever you are,
Speaker 1: and be purposeful about what that means for you in
Speaker 1: this moment. During this practice, you shouldn't do anything just
Speaker 1: because it's what you usually do. Instead, be very deliberate,
Speaker 1: so eyes open or closed and consider why you're making
Speaker 1: that choice. Tune into your breath here and you can
Speaker 1: keep flowing along with your natural rhythm or mindfully breathe
Speaker 1: a little deeper. Feel free to hold your attention on
Speaker 1: your breath or consciously shift your awareness somewhere else, like
Speaker 1: a sensation in your body or a sound in the environment. Now,
Speaker 1: take a moment to think about your day so far.
Speaker 1: Why are you where you are right now? Why are
Speaker 1: you listening to the Daily Jay? Why are you listening
Speaker 1: at this time of day, in this place? And now
Speaker 1: let's open this up. How often do you do things
Speaker 1: with clarity of purpose and intention? And how often would
Speaker 1: you say you're an autopilot as you moved through life?
Speaker 1: When and where could you ask yourself why? How could
Speaker 1: this transform your life for the better? Personally? My wife
Speaker 1: for the Daily Jay is very clear. I'm incredibly motivated
Speaker 1: to help others live their most mindful lives. I hope
Speaker 1: mister Buckerrage would be proud. Thanks for being here, and
Speaker 1: I'll see you tomorrow.