WEBVTT - Part Two: Tzar Nicholas II Was A Real Dick 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:06.280 Oh my gosh, it's behind the Bastards again, Part two 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:09.560 of what will be our four partner on Czar Nicholas 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:13.239 the second a dude who sucked pretty hard with me? 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:20.400 Or episodes worth Yeah, what a dick bizar huh. A 0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:23.800 lot of possible titles for this one. Jeff, how how you? 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:25.360 How are you doing? How are you holding in there? Jeff? 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:27.440 I mean I feel great. I love that, like the 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:30.440 fact that this is I was you know how sometimes 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:34.320 like you were like structurally designed to do something. Yeah, 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:37.320 that's this specific thing right now. Yeah, you were built 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:41.000 for it, like built for it. A Russian history podcast 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:42.920 where I get to talk about how much someone sucks, 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:46.159 your knowledge of Russian history, your experience as a teacher, 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:48.600 your years is a boxer, all of it coming together 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.960 in this in this endurance test of a podcast episode. 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:57.120 I'm in. I'm I'm all in. Boy. Howdy, Jeff. You 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:59.800 are a podcaster. You have a podcast called Tom and 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:03.279 Jef watch Batman on the game Fully Unemployed Network. Um. 0:01:03.360 --> 0:01:07.319 You have a podcast called Jeff Has Cool Friends. UM, 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:09.959 and you've got a sports cop podcast. That's that's about 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:13.000 the sports is I do you don't even like sports? 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.440 Which I don't. I don't know anything about sports. That's 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.280 fair that that would be perfect for you then, because 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:20.720 that's the name of your podcast more or when? Yeah, 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:23.240 so I do that, So Tom and Jeff watch Batman 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:26.080 is with Tom Ryman, who you may know. And you 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:28.840 don't even like sports with Adam Todd Brown. So we're 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:32.679 all it's all very incestuous, yes, circle of the circle 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:36.040 of content creators getting the gooey ideas all over each other. 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:41.880 M hm, like those are doing I don't know, actually, 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:45.080 more like those ours uncle uh Turk, one of those, 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:49.360 one of those with the voice. Yeah, hanging out with 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:54.279 the boys now, Jeff, you famously unless this has changed. 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:58.400 Got drunk exactly once while performing a live show. I did. Yeah, 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:00.960 just a one time I did at a thing called 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:05.280 performing under the Influence. Uh. It was the partial subject 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:08.280 of a Cracked article. I got drunk for the first 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:12.680 time at thirty three, which is a rough time to 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.640 deal with your first hangover. Yeah. You know what's funny 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:18.000 is I didn't wake up hungover. I drank the water 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:19.600 before I went to bed, and then I just woke 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:22.960 up still a little drunk, and then fine, excellent. But 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.200 I haven't been drunks since well, I don't think the 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:28.679 Czar and his buddies had a lot of easy nights 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:31.760 because champagne hangovers are a fucking nightmare, and it kind 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.480 of seems like they pounded nothing but champagne and hard liquor, 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:40.160 real champagne in the ass right there? Uh, Jeff. When 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:43.600 we last left, our buddy, our old friend, are our 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:47.480 our pal Nicholas the second Um, his dad had just 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:50.440 died um, which is normally a very sad thing and 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:52.440 I'm sure was for him. But also his dad was 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:55.440 an anti Semitic monster who used his brother to force 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:58.520 all of the Jews out of Moscow. And so I 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:00.680 don't know, I don't have I'm pretty glad that he 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.280 died of kidney failure at age forty nine. That seems 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:05.480 like a good time for him to die. Here's what 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:07.800 I'll say, though, is that you're not doing your behind 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:12.079 the bastards about him. No, although he plays play quite 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:14.440 a role, yeah oh yeah, yeah, you know, he's definitely 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:17.760 a key ingredient. Yeah in this in this stew that 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:20.200 is now about to be the Czar and Nicholas, you know, 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:22.760 he's basically the Tsar as soon as his dad dies. 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:25.120 He doesn't get coordinated for like two years. Like it's 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:27.760 a whole thing. When you're making a grounding a news are, 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:31.360 you gotta get a lot of ship locked down. Um, 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:33.880 it's it's it's a big deal for everybody in Russia, 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:38.120 I would think, and like all around Europe. You gotta 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:40.760 get all of the Queen Victoria's kids to come over. 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:42.800 You gotta get set up a special house for the 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:46.680 Kaiser who's weird and nobody wants to hang out with. 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:49.000 You gotta figure out who's sitting where at the table, 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.000 and again, nobody wants to sit next to the Kaiser. 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:55.080 You gotta get your your late century Russian version of 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:59.120 Garth Brooks to come to sing yeah yeah, and songs 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:01.840 for the czars that they're all about how cool this 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:03.800 are or how hard it is to be as are. 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:06.840 I would guess it's that it's like my my peasants 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.560 left me and my carriage got bombed by the communists. 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:17.679 It's friends in low palaces. Yeah, thank you now, that's 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:22.479 that's that's that's pretty good. So Nicholas obviously not a 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:27.640 particularly optimistic uh journey to power. He's immediate reaction is 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:29.880 oh funk. I'm going to be terrible at this, which 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:31.599 would mark the only time in his life that he 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:34.400 would be right about something meaningful. He nailed that ship. 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:37.359 He really got that one right, like perfect. He's like, 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.680 I'm gonna eat a big old donkey dick about this moment. 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:43.960 I am gonna fuck this up. Boy, howdy? Am I 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:46.000 going to be bad at this? Like it's like the 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:49.960 quantum left into into that job. He just shows up 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:52.760 out of nowhere being like, well, I have to figure 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:54.480 out how to do this now. It was like me 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:57.560 when I briefly worked at Sonic, like I am not 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:01.359 gonna do well with this. Wait what? Oh? Yeah I 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:04.800 was when I was a kid. Yeah the first job. Yeah, 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:07.880 your first job was at Sonic. It was horrible, very 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:10.000 jealous because when you find out what my first job is, 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:14.120 it's very weird. I dug holes in a graveyard. That 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:16.800 sounds so much better than working at Sonic. It sure doesn't, 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.520 I dug You know who doesn't want to know that 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:23.320 is everyone that you go to school with. That is 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:29.440 probably true. The plots to headstones, the foundation the foundation 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:32.360 holds for headstones. That is a rough series of conversations 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:35.080 with your peers, like Yeah, I gotta double shift at McDonald's, 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.400 so I gotta go, you know, work as a cashier 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:39.760 at the Barnes and Noble. Yeah, I gotta go dig 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:43.479 some graves. Yeah, I gotta dig some graves holes in 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:47.040 the ground. It paid so well. But like people would 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:50.200 be like, what do you do, and I'd be like nothing, 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:53.760 I don't know. Ideal drugs, I mean ship it does 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:55.440 sound like a great job to listen to books on 0:05:55.480 --> 0:06:01.120 tape during yeah, but right right were just a glimmering 0:06:01.560 --> 0:06:04.160 steve jobs as I. Yeah, you'd have to have like 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:08.560 an old skipping disc man next to you listening to 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:11.600 one of the four CDs that you own at the time, Yes, 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:16.880 getting tired all over him. Yeah, there's no, that's it's 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:19.240 boom box era, and you can't have a boom box 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:20.839 in a graveyards. I don't know if you know this 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:25.680 about graveyards, but they preferred to not have loud, blaring music. 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.520 That would be really funny, just like listening to fucking 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:32.080 Fleetwood Mac and digging graves. Yeah, while something they're trying 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:38.640 to lower somebody down, while like the chain is blasting. No, no, yeah, 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:40.680 you you put on for them lowering the corpse down 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:47.080 you put on oh M, the answer is um is freebird, freebird. 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:52.200 That's the actual answer, which is what they lowered my 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:58.520 cousin to. It was yeah, yeah, took songs for it. 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:01.120 Took a while for them to start it. And to me, 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:03.880 I thought that was really funny that they were like 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:10.720 trying to figure out how to get and I was like, man, 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:13.920 the poetry to this is weird because it was like 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:18.240 a shitty small boot box. The acoustics weren't great. Alexander 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:21.440 the Third does not have a great funeral um because 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:24.280 they funk up the embalming. So it's like horrible and 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:26.480 nasty and it's the kind of thing where like the 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:29.240 number one thing you read about him and like Summaries 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:32.160 of the Czars is that like they didn't involve him 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:35.239 properly and it was super gross um, which I guess 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:37.160 is a fair thing to have. Is your your main 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:41.640 legacy as a guy who's did a bunch of racism, Like, yeah, 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:46.480 he had a gross funeral. William the Conqueror exploded it 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:50.760 like so like I like a good bad funeral. Yeah, 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:53.680 there's a lot of fun ones with royalty. Uh so yeah, 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:58.240 he he becomes the czar. His younger brother is his 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.120 heir at first, because though he and Alexandra are together, 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:08.040 they have not had a boy yet. Um. Georgie scar, yeah, yeah, 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:13.640 he's this yeah yeah, except for Georgie like dies of tuberculosis, 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:16.800 so he's not a very good scar. He's got He's 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:19.960 got a lung scar. He does have a lung scar. Yeah, 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:23.200 and it kills him slowly, which is a problem because 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:26.320 he's the only one of them who has any sense um, 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:28.640 and he probably would have done a much better job. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:30.120 But he has to spend all of this time. Like 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.960 they have him stay on the beach, basically because they 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:35.200 think it will not kill him faster. But he he 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:39.000 dies pretty quick anyway. Um, so Nicholas gets coordinated in 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.000 eight six, I wrote nineteen eighty six. That's not when 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:46.400 it happened. They had a bit of a waiting period. Yeah, yeah, 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:48.680 they waited until Reagan was in office. They need to 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:53.199 get him down there. Um. He has a big ceremonial party, right, 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:56.240 the thing you'd expect. Um. And it's not just a 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:58.840 party for the nobles of Europe and stuff. There's also 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:01.080 a party for the peasants because the Romanovs and the 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:04.000 peasants have this sacred bond, right, and and Nicholas wants 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.720 to honor that and build some goodwill with the little people. 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:09.880 So he makes like a bunch of gift bags for 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:13.959 them that have like some sausage and some special uh 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:17.719 baked goods and like a nice mug um. And he 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:20.440 gets like three hundred thousand of these gift bags together 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:24.360 for the poor people. Damn. Now. Problem about a million 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:26.840 of them show up, seven eight hundred thousands something like that. 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.440 So it's not like it's like Bobblehead Night you gotta 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:32.040 do like the first t it's like bobble Head Night 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:34.640 or ten cent beer Knight. Like it goes immediately awry 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:38.000 because there's not enough of this ship. Um. Now. The 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:41.040 other problem is that he had put grand Dukes Sergei 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:46.240 who uh you know, the drunken racist uh piece of 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.680 ship dude. Um. He was the guy in charge of 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:51.720 planning this event for the peasants. Um. So he doesn't 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:54.560 get enough gift bags, and he doesn't have any kind 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:57.520 of real crowd control. Um. He doesn't have enough people 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.439 there to like deal with the size of crowd that 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:03.480 there's going to be. And when people realize there's not 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:05.720 enough gifts, they start like rushing to try to get 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:08.400 at the last ones, and then there is a stampede. UM. 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.559 And it is a stampede of eight hundred thousand people 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.360 in an area that is not prepared at all for 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:16.000 crowd control and doesn't have anybody dedicated to keeping people safe. Um. 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:21.320 It's real bad. Is anything prepared for eight hundred thousand people? Yeah? 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:22.960 I mean, you know what I went to when I 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:25.079 was younger in two thirteen, and it was I went 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.200 to the Coombe Mela in India. And every time this 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:30.240 gathering is held, it's this big religious gathering UM. And 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:32.640 it's held in four different cities once every four years, 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:35.079 and there's one city, Allahabad, where it's like most holy 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:37.080 when they do it there every twelve years. And every 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.040 time they do it, it's the biggest gathering of people 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.720 in the history of the human race for any reason. Um. 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:43.160 And when I was there, it was about a hundred 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:46.760 million people intense, UM. And there was like there was 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:48.680 one stampede at a train station that killed like thirty 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:51.880 something people, but really like it was fine. Um, I 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:53.920 think it went pretty well. There was like one day 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.160 where thirty million people all based at the same time 0:10:56.160 --> 0:11:00.839 in the ganchis like India handles that ship pretty well. Actually, yeah, 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:05.079 I remember, like the Hajj people would die. There's been 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:09.560 so horrible, horrible stampede with thousands. Like a bonus if 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:11.840 you die on the Hajj. Well, it is like it 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:13.920 is pretty holy way to die. You know. I don't 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:15.880 know if it's a bonus, but if you well, if 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:18.040 you die on the Hodge, you get you immediately get 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:21.520 sent to paradise. I'm not an expert, I know that, Like, 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:25.160 it's definitely like if you if it's not the worst 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.959 way to go. Um, although I think getting crushed to 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:29.559 death is the worst way to go. But like dying 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:31.600 doing like the holiest thing you can do in your 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:34.280 religion is probably of some comfort. This is not that 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.640 because nobody's doing anything holy. They're trying to get cups. Um, 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:39.559 they're trying to get cups and sausage, and it goes 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:43.080 horribly horribly wrong and people are crushed to death in 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:48.040 a stampede. Umsages more meat for the sausages. We finally 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:51.720 have enough. Um. There are some estimates people, is what 0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:54.880 the state estimates. Uh, it's probably more like three or 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:58.760 four thousand people die crushed to death, and this this horrible, horrible, 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:02.160 like mass of people. Now this is considered bad luck 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:04.839 for the news are right, this is his coronation and 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:07.720 he's just killed several thousand of his own people. Um 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:11.400 because he let his drunken uncle plan the whole event. Uh. 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:14.480 Nicholas writes at the time, this news left me a 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:17.959 disgustful impression, um, and noted that he thought the stampede 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.320 was a great sin. But he doesn't call off the 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.959 ceremony or any of like the celebrations and stuff. Um, 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:27.000 that's not it's because like he seems to want to. 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:30.480 He's like, I don't really want to party after people 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:33.040 or just got stomped to death in my name, I 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:36.720 kind of feel like maybe just sitting quietly in a chair. Um. 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:40.920 But his uncle, yeah, his uncle, the Greg dude, was like, no, 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.480 you can't cancel it. We made all these plans. Everyone's coming, 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:45.440 you have to do this big event. Like them they're 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:47.400 just peasants, and a lot of other people in the 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:49.800 family are like, yeah, you have to do this. Um. 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:54.559 And though kind of you could see this as like, yeah, 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:56.760 like you have to do this. This is like about 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:58.840 more than those people. This is like how the change 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:01.439 of power in our states and all of these international 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:03.360 people here, like we just have to do the thing. 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.760 You could like, that's definitely a fair take. You could 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:10.079 also see it as he feels like something is wrong 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.600 and will be taken badly by people, and he's not 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:16.839 strong enough to stand up to his family. Yeah. Yeah, 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:20.599 both of those things could be true. Also, you know, um, 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:23.280 it's probably better for the other crowned heads of Europe, 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.520 like in terms of like their opinion of him, that 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:28.240 he continues the festivities, but it probably is worse for 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:32.079 the peasants. Um. Yeah. And I'm gonna quote from a 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:35.400 rite up in Russia. Beyond the Moscow society had considered 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.960 nicholas refusal to stop the parties as disrespect for the victims. 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:42.880 In his memoirs, Uh, one of his Bizar's men remembers 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.000 the phrase of an old type setter in the newspaper 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:48.520 printing house, this means trouble. The rain will bring no good. 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:52.000 There were a lot of problems like that. So people 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:55.120 are like talking about this, you know, like it it's 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:59.120 it definitely is problematic within Russia that he continues the celebrations. 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.880 One thing. Everybody. The people are talking. The people are 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:05.480 talking about the thousands you got killed because you didn't 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:08.640 make it a fucking cups. Um. Now, for his part 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:12.160 in the disaster, Nikky gets the nickname Bloody Nicholas, which 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.920 is a dope nickname to have as an emperor, but 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:18.000 not for this reason. Yeah. No, that's the worst way. 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:20.720 You wanted to be the blood of your enemies, right, yeah, 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.080 not the blood of the people that were going to 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.280 send you off into congratulations. Yeah, you don't want to 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:28.560 get it because you were You didn't bring enough sausage 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:30.840 to the party. That's not why you want to be 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:35.080 bloody Nicholas. Yeah, it's actually the British version of bloody words. 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:40.200 Fucking Nicholas. Yeah, fucking Nicholas. Yeahs um make the sausage 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:43.240 dip ship. And now his brother Georgie, who is still 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:45.880 alive at this point, Um, tries to use the disaster 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.440 to convince Nicholas to sack their uncle, the Grand Duke. 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:52.040 He's like, look, Sergey is obviously bad at things, don't 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.520 maybe we shouldn't have him have a government job anymore 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:57.920 because look at all these people he got killed. But 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.000 Nicky shoots his brother down, and and what he says, 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:02.880 why he says he's not going to fire his uncle, 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:06.320 is really revealing about his character. This is what he's 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.440 saying to his brother in this argument they're having. I 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:10.800 don't want to talk about Moscow. It makes me sick 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:13.800 to remember. It's not particularly comforting to think about the 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.160 sad side of the coronation. This seems to be a 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:18.680 year of hard labor with me and Alex as the 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:24.240 martyrs four thousand and nine eleven just died, and he's like, 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:27.840 I am the victim here. I mean this ties into 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:32.280 his his old train review. Yeah the train was awful. 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.480 We got derailed, people died, but more often it took 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:38.240 us a while stepping over corpses and like, yeah, the 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:40.720 plates got broken. I was trying to bring a bottle 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:42.600 of wine to a friend and it's shattered. It's a 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:45.520 real Oh that's a long Yeah, it's real bad. Can 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:52.240 I be honest? My steak dinner ruined somebody's skull. My wine. 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:55.880 Um So, after losing a couple of thousand peasants and 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:58.840 you know, getting through the coronation, Nikki and Alex settle 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:01.760 into a routine of fly and work Nicholas spent most 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:03.520 of his time at his desk, in the words of 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.920 his cousin Sandro, listening with near awe to the bellowing 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:11.000 of his towering uncle's um. Nikki was particularly frightened of 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:15.440 his uncle Sergey. Sandro claimed he dreaded being alone with them. 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:17.880 And obviously these are the guys who like helped raise him. 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:21.320 These are his father's brothers, and he feels inadequate next 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:23.440 to them. He's also much smaller than them. I think 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.680 Sergey is like six ft five and Nicholas is a 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:28.480 little dude. Um. So there's a lot going on here, 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:31.840 and he's just like he's he's kind of dominated during 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:34.760 the early years of his reign by his his just 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.200 kind of It's the Serge show, you know, and as 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:40.400 we've established, not a good show. No, no, no, not, 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:43.120 it's one of the worst. It's like that show that 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.760 that that that Friends like spin off that was all 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:49.320 about Joey. That's that's the Surgy show. Yeah Joey. Yeah. 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.000 I was going to call it the Big Bang Theory. 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:55.080 It's like the biggest things. I would say his Dad's 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:57.400 show was the Big Bang Theory. His granddad show was 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:03.880 the big bang theory very fair. So after yeah, they 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:07.520 get into this routine, might call it a rut um 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:10.040 and Nikki, yesman's a few years just getting dominated by 0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:13.680 his uncle's um. Sandro, who become came a naval officer, 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:16.520 begs his brother to fire the Gray Sandro, his cousin 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:19.200 um begs his cousin to fire the Grand Duke, but 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:23.080 Nicholas replies, sacked my father's favorite brother. I believe they're right, 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:26.080 you didn't turn socialist in America. His cousin has just 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:30.520 gotten back from America. Like, firing this incredibly incapable racist 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:34.920 man would be like communism. Um my shitty father's favorite 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:42.119 shitty dude. Yeah yeah, like kinda yeah maybe, Like I 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:44.960 don't know, you know, I think forgiveness is important. It's 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.600 important for people to have second chances, but I would 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:50.680 also like, I would not give an employee a second 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:57.199 chance if they killed four thousand people. Yeah, you know, 0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:59.320 we have our little hiccups every now and then on 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:02.480 the podcast Stee, I get something wrong or there's something 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.879 else goes awry. But um, I think if one of 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:07.600 us were to kill four thousand people making this podcast, 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:09.840 I think that would probably need to be the end 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:13.399 of that person's job. Let he who is without saying 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:17.560 casting first. Yeah, I mean it would be pretty cool 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:19.560 to have the well, no, Joe Rogan beat us to that. 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:24.800 Yeah topic body count. Yeah yeah, that's a shame. Stop 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:29.200 trying to censor him. So you know who's not trying 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:34.200 to censor Joe Rogan? Jeff, I mean I feel worried. 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:37.720 I M really anyone, No one really is. Nobody is 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:41.560 no no, no one has at all, but certainly not 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:46.320 the podcasts or the whatever. The ads. These ads aren't 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:49.679 you know what, you know, just threw off your game there, Robert, 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:52.560 he did this is my killing four thousand people at 0:18:52.560 --> 0:19:05.199 the czar's coronation moment. Ah, we're back. You know what 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:08.479 I loved about those ads, Jeff Zero censorship of of 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:12.440 Meathead podcast and I'm gonna I'm gonna go out on 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:14.840 a limb and say less than a thousand people trampled 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:17.480 to death as a result of those ads. It's going 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:19.639 to be really awkward when you when you listen to 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:25.760 the episode again, like there's a big people, it's some 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:29.520 new insurance company. A thousand people you know, got trampled 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:37.600 to death. The Geico tramplings uh so um, czaren Zarina 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.600 settle into their new life, which you know, he's working 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:42.800 all the time, but not from the same place. They 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.000 travel constantly throughout the year. Air conditioning isn't really a thing. 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:48.960 So like at the start of the year, they're they're 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.680 in the capital in the winter palace um where a 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:54.880 whole social season in St. Petersburg revolved around like partying 0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:57.680 while it's really cold outside with the Romanovs and their cousins. 0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:00.680 So there's all these big dances and balls and things 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:03.879 that I think I would rather die than attend. Um, 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:07.760 Like you don't like big balls? No, yeah, it depends 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:12.040 like if they're cradled properly. Um, but I certainly don't. 0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:16.640 Like they were clever, Oh yeah, clever, like get it 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:18.680 and they're like can we get it? Man? Yeah, yeah, 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:21.960 I see d C. We we understand the joke. We 0:20:22.040 --> 0:20:28.119 get the bit. This is a four minute song. So 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:30.359 there's are spends a few weeks each year, you know, 0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:32.920 in the winter doing galas and balls and you know, 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.640 I had a had these big, insufferable parties. And then 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:37.680 in the spring they go to their second they're like 0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:40.040 their palace, the peter Hof, which is in an area 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:42.719 that has nicer springs, and then in late summers they 0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:45.560 go on their imperial yacht and sail around the coasts 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:48.120 and the Baltic and all that stuff. Um, and then 0:20:48.160 --> 0:20:50.720 in autumn they go south and travel to their castles 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:54.679 in Poland and hunt throughout the fall. That sounds so dope. 0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:56.920 It does sound pretty rad, right. That sounds like a 0:20:57.520 --> 0:21:00.720 man now. I mean he is like working eighty hour 0:21:00.920 --> 0:21:04.439 nightmare weeks and like heading religious ceremonies and all this 0:21:04.480 --> 0:21:06.320 stuff at the time. But yeah, it sounds like a 0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:10.600 pretty fucking dope work schedule. What's even doper is his 0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:14.159 like noble cousins and uncles who have that lifestyle but 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:17.680 also don't have anything to do, like have zero responsibilities. 0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:20.640 That's the man that's the sweet spot. Not the czar, 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:23.960 but his like first cousin. Yeah, yeah, like tight enough 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:26.320 that the blood is very similar, but not so tight 0:21:26.359 --> 0:21:28.359 that you're going to get murdered in an upright and 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:30.520 when things go awry you can just kind of bounce 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:35.600 actually Dutch. Yeah, oh thank god, I spend so much 0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:39.000 time in Germany. This worked out good for me. I'm 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:43.920 gonna turn this accent on real quick. Yeah. So um 0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:46.400 Nicholas keeps a rigorous schedule. He wakes up at eight 0:21:46.440 --> 0:21:50.080