1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's behind the Bastards again, Part two 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:09,560 Speaker 1: of what will be our four partner on Czar Nicholas 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:13,239 Speaker 1: the second a dude who sucked pretty hard with me? 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: Or episodes worth Yeah, what a dick bizar huh. A 5 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 1: lot of possible titles for this one. Jeff, how how you? 6 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: How are you doing? How are you holding in there? Jeff? 7 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: I mean I feel great. I love that, like the 8 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: fact that this is I was you know how sometimes 9 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: like you were like structurally designed to do something. Yeah, 10 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: that's this specific thing right now. Yeah, you were built 11 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: for it, like built for it. A Russian history podcast 12 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: where I get to talk about how much someone sucks, 13 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,159 Speaker 1: your knowledge of Russian history, your experience as a teacher, 14 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: your years is a boxer, all of it coming together 15 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: in this in this endurance test of a podcast episode. 16 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: I'm in. I'm I'm all in. Boy. Howdy, Jeff. You 17 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: are a podcaster. You have a podcast called Tom and 18 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,279 Speaker 1: Jef watch Batman on the game Fully Unemployed Network. Um. 19 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: You have a podcast called Jeff Has Cool Friends. UM, 20 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 1: and you've got a sports cop podcast. That's that's about 21 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 1: the sports is I do you don't even like sports? 22 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 1: Which I don't. I don't know anything about sports. That's 23 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: fair that that would be perfect for you then, because 24 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: that's the name of your podcast more or when? Yeah, 25 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: so I do that, So Tom and Jeff watch Batman 26 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: is with Tom Ryman, who you may know. And you 27 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: don't even like sports with Adam Todd Brown. So we're 28 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,679 Speaker 1: all it's all very incestuous, yes, circle of the circle 29 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: of content creators getting the gooey ideas all over each other. 30 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: M hm, like those are doing I don't know, actually, 31 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: more like those ours uncle uh Turk, one of those, 32 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: one of those with the voice. Yeah, hanging out with 33 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:54,279 Speaker 1: the boys now, Jeff, you famously unless this has changed. 34 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 1: Got drunk exactly once while performing a live show. I did. Yeah, 35 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: just a one time I did at a thing called 36 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 1: performing under the Influence. Uh. It was the partial subject 37 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: of a Cracked article. I got drunk for the first 38 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: time at thirty three, which is a rough time to 39 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: deal with your first hangover. Yeah. You know what's funny 40 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: is I didn't wake up hungover. I drank the water 41 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: before I went to bed, and then I just woke 42 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: up still a little drunk, and then fine, excellent. But 43 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: I haven't been drunks since well, I don't think the 44 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,679 Speaker 1: Czar and his buddies had a lot of easy nights 45 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: because champagne hangovers are a fucking nightmare, and it kind 46 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: of seems like they pounded nothing but champagne and hard liquor, 47 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: real champagne in the ass right there? Uh, Jeff. When 48 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: we last left, our buddy, our old friend, are our 49 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: our pal Nicholas the second Um, his dad had just 50 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: died um, which is normally a very sad thing and 51 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: I'm sure was for him. But also his dad was 52 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: an anti Semitic monster who used his brother to force 53 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: all of the Jews out of Moscow. And so I 54 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: don't know, I don't have I'm pretty glad that he 55 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: died of kidney failure at age forty nine. That seems 56 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: like a good time for him to die. Here's what 57 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: I'll say, though, is that you're not doing your behind 58 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 1: the bastards about him. No, although he plays play quite 59 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: a role, yeah oh yeah, yeah, you know, he's definitely 60 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: a key ingredient. Yeah in this in this stew that 61 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: is now about to be the Czar and Nicholas, you know, 62 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: he's basically the Tsar as soon as his dad dies. 63 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: He doesn't get coordinated for like two years. Like it's 64 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: a whole thing. When you're making a grounding a news are, 65 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: you gotta get a lot of ship locked down. Um, 66 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: it's it's it's a big deal for everybody in Russia, 67 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 1: I would think, and like all around Europe. You gotta 68 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: get all of the Queen Victoria's kids to come over. 69 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: You gotta get set up a special house for the 70 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 1: Kaiser who's weird and nobody wants to hang out with. 71 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: You gotta figure out who's sitting where at the table, 72 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: and again, nobody wants to sit next to the Kaiser. 73 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: You gotta get your your late century Russian version of 74 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: Garth Brooks to come to sing yeah yeah, and songs 75 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: for the czars that they're all about how cool this 76 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: are or how hard it is to be as are. 77 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: I would guess it's that it's like my my peasants 78 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: left me and my carriage got bombed by the communists. 79 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:17,679 Speaker 1: It's friends in low palaces. Yeah, thank you now, that's 80 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 1: that's that's that's pretty good. So Nicholas obviously not a 81 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: particularly optimistic uh journey to power. He's immediate reaction is 82 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: oh funk. I'm going to be terrible at this, which 83 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: would mark the only time in his life that he 84 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: would be right about something meaningful. He nailed that ship. 85 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 1: He really got that one right, like perfect. He's like, 86 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna eat a big old donkey dick about this moment. 87 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: I am gonna fuck this up. Boy, howdy? Am I 88 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: going to be bad at this? Like it's like the 89 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: quantum left into into that job. He just shows up 90 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: out of nowhere being like, well, I have to figure 91 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 1: out how to do this now. It was like me 92 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: when I briefly worked at Sonic, like I am not 93 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:01,359 Speaker 1: gonna do well with this. Wait what? Oh? Yeah I 94 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 1: was when I was a kid. Yeah the first job. Yeah, 95 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: your first job was at Sonic. It was horrible, very 96 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: jealous because when you find out what my first job is, 97 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: it's very weird. I dug holes in a graveyard. That 98 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: sounds so much better than working at Sonic. It sure doesn't, 99 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: I dug You know who doesn't want to know that 100 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: is everyone that you go to school with. That is 101 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: probably true. The plots to headstones, the foundation the foundation 102 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: holds for headstones. That is a rough series of conversations 103 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: with your peers, like Yeah, I gotta double shift at McDonald's, 104 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: so I gotta go, you know, work as a cashier 105 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 1: at the Barnes and Noble. Yeah, I gotta go dig 106 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: some graves. Yeah, I gotta dig some graves holes in 107 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: the ground. It paid so well. But like people would 108 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: be like, what do you do, and I'd be like nothing, 109 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: I don't know. Ideal drugs, I mean ship it does 110 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: sound like a great job to listen to books on 111 00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: tape during yeah, but right right were just a glimmering 112 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,160 Speaker 1: steve jobs as I. Yeah, you'd have to have like 113 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: an old skipping disc man next to you listening to 114 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: one of the four CDs that you own at the time, Yes, 115 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: getting tired all over him. Yeah, there's no, that's it's 116 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: boom box era, and you can't have a boom box 117 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 1: in a graveyards. I don't know if you know this 118 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: about graveyards, but they preferred to not have loud, blaring music. 119 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: That would be really funny, just like listening to fucking 120 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: Fleetwood Mac and digging graves. Yeah, while something they're trying 121 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: to lower somebody down, while like the chain is blasting. No, no, yeah, 122 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 1: you you put on for them lowering the corpse down 123 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: you put on oh M, the answer is um is freebird, freebird. 124 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 1: That's the actual answer, which is what they lowered my 125 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: cousin to. It was yeah, yeah, took songs for it. 126 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: Took a while for them to start it. And to me, 127 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 1: I thought that was really funny that they were like 128 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to get and I was like, man, 129 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: the poetry to this is weird because it was like 130 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: a shitty small boot box. The acoustics weren't great. Alexander 131 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: the Third does not have a great funeral um because 132 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: they funk up the embalming. So it's like horrible and 133 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: nasty and it's the kind of thing where like the 134 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 1: number one thing you read about him and like Summaries 135 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: of the Czars is that like they didn't involve him 136 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,239 Speaker 1: properly and it was super gross um, which I guess 137 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 1: is a fair thing to have. Is your your main 138 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: legacy as a guy who's did a bunch of racism, Like, yeah, 139 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: he had a gross funeral. William the Conqueror exploded it 140 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: like so like I like a good bad funeral. Yeah, 141 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: there's a lot of fun ones with royalty. Uh so yeah, 142 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: he he becomes the czar. His younger brother is his 143 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: heir at first, because though he and Alexandra are together, 144 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: they have not had a boy yet. Um. Georgie scar, yeah, yeah, 145 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 1: he's this yeah yeah, except for Georgie like dies of tuberculosis, 146 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: so he's not a very good scar. He's got He's 147 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: got a lung scar. He does have a lung scar. Yeah, 148 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: and it kills him slowly, which is a problem because 149 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: he's the only one of them who has any sense um, 150 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: and he probably would have done a much better job. 151 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: But he has to spend all of this time. Like 152 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: they have him stay on the beach, basically because they 153 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 1: think it will not kill him faster. But he he 154 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: dies pretty quick anyway. Um, so Nicholas gets coordinated in 155 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: eight six, I wrote nineteen eighty six. That's not when 156 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: it happened. They had a bit of a waiting period. Yeah, yeah, 157 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 1: they waited until Reagan was in office. They need to 158 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:53,199 Speaker 1: get him down there. Um. He has a big ceremonial party, right, 159 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: the thing you'd expect. Um. And it's not just a 160 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: party for the nobles of Europe and stuff. There's also 161 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: a party for the peasants because the Romanovs and the 162 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: peasants have this sacred bond, right, and and Nicholas wants 163 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 1: to honor that and build some goodwill with the little people. 164 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: So he makes like a bunch of gift bags for 165 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 1: them that have like some sausage and some special uh 166 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 1: baked goods and like a nice mug um. And he 167 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: gets like three hundred thousand of these gift bags together 168 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 1: for the poor people. Damn. Now. Problem about a million 169 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,840 Speaker 1: of them show up, seven eight hundred thousands something like that. 170 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: So it's not like it's like Bobblehead Night you gotta 171 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 1: do like the first t it's like bobble Head Night 172 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: or ten cent beer Knight. Like it goes immediately awry 173 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: because there's not enough of this ship. Um. Now. The 174 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: other problem is that he had put grand Dukes Sergei 175 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: who uh you know, the drunken racist uh piece of 176 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,680 Speaker 1: ship dude. Um. He was the guy in charge of 177 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 1: planning this event for the peasants. Um. So he doesn't 178 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 1: get enough gift bags, and he doesn't have any kind 179 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 1: of real crowd control. Um. He doesn't have enough people 180 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:00,439 Speaker 1: there to like deal with the size of crowd that 181 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: there's going to be. And when people realize there's not 182 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 1: enough gifts, they start like rushing to try to get 183 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: at the last ones, and then there is a stampede. UM. 184 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 1: And it is a stampede of eight hundred thousand people 185 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: in an area that is not prepared at all for 186 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: crowd control and doesn't have anybody dedicated to keeping people safe. Um. 187 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: It's real bad. Is anything prepared for eight hundred thousand people? Yeah? 188 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,960 Speaker 1: I mean, you know what I went to when I 189 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,079 Speaker 1: was younger in two thirteen, and it was I went 190 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 1: to the Coombe Mela in India. And every time this 191 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: gathering is held, it's this big religious gathering UM. And 192 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: it's held in four different cities once every four years, 193 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,079 Speaker 1: and there's one city, Allahabad, where it's like most holy 194 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 1: when they do it there every twelve years. And every 195 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: time they do it, it's the biggest gathering of people 196 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 1: in the history of the human race for any reason. Um. 197 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: And when I was there, it was about a hundred 198 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: million people intense, UM. And there was like there was 199 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 1: one stampede at a train station that killed like thirty 200 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: something people, but really like it was fine. Um, I 201 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: think it went pretty well. There was like one day 202 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: where thirty million people all based at the same time 203 00:10:56,160 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 1: in the ganchis like India handles that ship pretty well. Actually, yeah, 204 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:05,079 Speaker 1: I remember, like the Hajj people would die. There's been 205 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 1: so horrible, horrible stampede with thousands. Like a bonus if 206 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 1: you die on the Hajj. Well, it is like it 207 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: is pretty holy way to die. You know. I don't 208 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: know if it's a bonus, but if you well, if 209 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: you die on the Hodge, you get you immediately get 210 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 1: sent to paradise. I'm not an expert, I know that, Like, 211 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: it's definitely like if you if it's not the worst 212 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,959 Speaker 1: way to go. Um, although I think getting crushed to 213 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 1: death is the worst way to go. But like dying 214 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: doing like the holiest thing you can do in your 215 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: religion is probably of some comfort. This is not that 216 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: because nobody's doing anything holy. They're trying to get cups. Um, 217 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,559 Speaker 1: they're trying to get cups and sausage, and it goes 218 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 1: horribly horribly wrong and people are crushed to death in 219 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 1: a stampede. Umsages more meat for the sausages. We finally 220 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: have enough. Um. There are some estimates people, is what 221 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: the state estimates. Uh, it's probably more like three or 222 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: four thousand people die crushed to death, and this this horrible, horrible, 223 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 1: like mass of people. Now this is considered bad luck 224 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,839 Speaker 1: for the news are right, this is his coronation and 225 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: he's just killed several thousand of his own people. Um 226 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 1: because he let his drunken uncle plan the whole event. Uh. 227 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: Nicholas writes at the time, this news left me a 228 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,959 Speaker 1: disgustful impression, um, and noted that he thought the stampede 229 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 1: was a great sin. But he doesn't call off the 230 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,959 Speaker 1: ceremony or any of like the celebrations and stuff. Um, 231 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 1: that's not it's because like he seems to want to. 232 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 1: He's like, I don't really want to party after people 233 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 1: or just got stomped to death in my name, I 234 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: kind of feel like maybe just sitting quietly in a chair. Um. 235 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 1: But his uncle, yeah, his uncle, the Greg dude, was like, no, 236 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: you can't cancel it. We made all these plans. Everyone's coming, 237 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 1: you have to do this big event. Like them they're 238 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: just peasants, and a lot of other people in the 239 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 1: family are like, yeah, you have to do this. Um. 240 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:54,559 Speaker 1: And though kind of you could see this as like, yeah, 241 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: like you have to do this. This is like about 242 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: more than those people. This is like how the change 243 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: of power in our states and all of these international 244 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: people here, like we just have to do the thing. 245 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: You could like, that's definitely a fair take. You could 246 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 1: also see it as he feels like something is wrong 247 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 1: and will be taken badly by people, and he's not 248 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:16,839 Speaker 1: strong enough to stand up to his family. Yeah. Yeah, 249 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,599 Speaker 1: both of those things could be true. Also, you know, um, 250 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: it's probably better for the other crowned heads of Europe, 251 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: like in terms of like their opinion of him, that 252 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: he continues the festivities, but it probably is worse for 253 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:32,079 Speaker 1: the peasants. Um. Yeah. And I'm gonna quote from a 254 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 1: rite up in Russia. Beyond the Moscow society had considered 255 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 1: nicholas refusal to stop the parties as disrespect for the victims. 256 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: In his memoirs, Uh, one of his Bizar's men remembers 257 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 1: the phrase of an old type setter in the newspaper 258 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: printing house, this means trouble. The rain will bring no good. 259 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 1: There were a lot of problems like that. So people 260 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: are like talking about this, you know, like it it's 261 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 1: it definitely is problematic within Russia that he continues the celebrations. 262 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 1: One thing. Everybody. The people are talking. The people are 263 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: talking about the thousands you got killed because you didn't 264 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: make it a fucking cups. Um. Now, for his part 265 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: in the disaster, Nikky gets the nickname Bloody Nicholas, which 266 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,920 Speaker 1: is a dope nickname to have as an emperor, but 267 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: not for this reason. Yeah. No, that's the worst way. 268 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: You wanted to be the blood of your enemies, right, yeah, 269 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: not the blood of the people that were going to 270 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: send you off into congratulations. Yeah, you don't want to 271 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,560 Speaker 1: get it because you were You didn't bring enough sausage 272 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: to the party. That's not why you want to be 273 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: bloody Nicholas. Yeah, it's actually the British version of bloody words. 274 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: Fucking Nicholas. Yeah, fucking Nicholas. Yeahs um make the sausage 275 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 1: dip ship. And now his brother Georgie, who is still 276 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: alive at this point, Um, tries to use the disaster 277 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 1: to convince Nicholas to sack their uncle, the Grand Duke. 278 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: He's like, look, Sergey is obviously bad at things, don't 279 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 1: maybe we shouldn't have him have a government job anymore 280 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 1: because look at all these people he got killed. But 281 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: Nicky shoots his brother down, and and what he says, 282 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: why he says he's not going to fire his uncle, 283 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: is really revealing about his character. This is what he's 284 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 1: saying to his brother in this argument they're having. I 285 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 1: don't want to talk about Moscow. It makes me sick 286 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 1: to remember. It's not particularly comforting to think about the 287 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 1: sad side of the coronation. This seems to be a 288 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 1: year of hard labor with me and Alex as the 289 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 1: martyrs four thousand and nine eleven just died, and he's like, 290 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: I am the victim here. I mean this ties into 291 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:32,280 Speaker 1: his his old train review. Yeah the train was awful. 292 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 1: We got derailed, people died, but more often it took 293 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: us a while stepping over corpses and like, yeah, the 294 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: plates got broken. I was trying to bring a bottle 295 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: of wine to a friend and it's shattered. It's a 296 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: real Oh that's a long Yeah, it's real bad. Can 297 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 1: I be honest? My steak dinner ruined somebody's skull. My wine. 298 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: Um So, after losing a couple of thousand peasants and 299 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: you know, getting through the coronation, Nikki and Alex settle 300 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: into a routine of fly and work Nicholas spent most 301 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: of his time at his desk, in the words of 302 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 1: his cousin Sandro, listening with near awe to the bellowing 303 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: of his towering uncle's um. Nikki was particularly frightened of 304 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 1: his uncle Sergey. Sandro claimed he dreaded being alone with them. 305 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 1: And obviously these are the guys who like helped raise him. 306 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: These are his father's brothers, and he feels inadequate next 307 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 1: to them. He's also much smaller than them. I think 308 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 1: Sergey is like six ft five and Nicholas is a 309 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 1: little dude. Um. So there's a lot going on here, 310 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: and he's just like he's he's kind of dominated during 311 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 1: the early years of his reign by his his just 312 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: kind of It's the Serge show, you know, and as 313 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 1: we've established, not a good show. No, no, no, not, 314 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 1: it's one of the worst. It's like that show that 315 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 1: that that that Friends like spin off that was all 316 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: about Joey. That's that's the Surgy show. Yeah Joey. Yeah. 317 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: I was going to call it the Big Bang Theory. 318 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: It's like the biggest things. I would say his Dad's 319 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: show was the Big Bang Theory. His granddad show was 320 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 1: the big bang theory very fair. So after yeah, they 321 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 1: get into this routine, might call it a rut um 322 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,040 Speaker 1: and Nikki, yesman's a few years just getting dominated by 323 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 1: his uncle's um. Sandro, who become came a naval officer, 324 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: begs his brother to fire the Gray Sandro, his cousin 325 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: um begs his cousin to fire the Grand Duke, but 326 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: Nicholas replies, sacked my father's favorite brother. I believe they're right, 327 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: you didn't turn socialist in America. His cousin has just 328 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 1: gotten back from America. Like, firing this incredibly incapable racist 329 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,920 Speaker 1: man would be like communism. Um my shitty father's favorite 330 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:42,119 Speaker 1: shitty dude. Yeah yeah, like kinda yeah maybe, Like I 331 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 1: don't know, you know, I think forgiveness is important. It's 332 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 1: important for people to have second chances, but I would 333 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,680 Speaker 1: also like, I would not give an employee a second 334 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:57,199 Speaker 1: chance if they killed four thousand people. Yeah, you know, 335 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: we have our little hiccups every now and then on 336 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,480 Speaker 1: the podcast Stee, I get something wrong or there's something 337 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,879 Speaker 1: else goes awry. But um, I think if one of 338 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 1: us were to kill four thousand people making this podcast, 339 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 1: I think that would probably need to be the end 340 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,399 Speaker 1: of that person's job. Let he who is without saying 341 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: casting first. Yeah, I mean it would be pretty cool 342 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: to have the well, no, Joe Rogan beat us to that. 343 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 1: Yeah topic body count. Yeah yeah, that's a shame. Stop 344 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: trying to censor him. So you know who's not trying 345 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: to censor Joe Rogan? Jeff, I mean I feel worried. 346 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: I M really anyone, No one really is. Nobody is 347 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: no no, no one has at all, but certainly not 348 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: the podcasts or the whatever. The ads. These ads aren't 349 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,679 Speaker 1: you know what, you know, just threw off your game there, Robert, 350 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 1: he did this is my killing four thousand people at 351 00:18:52,560 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 1: the czar's coronation moment. Ah, we're back. You know what 352 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,479 Speaker 1: I loved about those ads, Jeff Zero censorship of of 353 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 1: Meathead podcast and I'm gonna I'm gonna go out on 354 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: a limb and say less than a thousand people trampled 355 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 1: to death as a result of those ads. It's going 356 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,639 Speaker 1: to be really awkward when you when you listen to 357 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: the episode again, like there's a big people, it's some 358 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 1: new insurance company. A thousand people you know, got trampled 359 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: to death. The Geico tramplings uh so um, czaren Zarina 360 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: settle into their new life, which you know, he's working 361 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: all the time, but not from the same place. They 362 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 1: travel constantly throughout the year. Air conditioning isn't really a thing. 363 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,960 Speaker 1: So like at the start of the year, they're they're 364 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 1: in the capital in the winter palace um where a 365 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,880 Speaker 1: whole social season in St. Petersburg revolved around like partying 366 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,680 Speaker 1: while it's really cold outside with the Romanovs and their cousins. 367 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,680 Speaker 1: So there's all these big dances and balls and things 368 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,879 Speaker 1: that I think I would rather die than attend. Um, 369 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 1: Like you don't like big balls? No, yeah, it depends 370 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 1: like if they're cradled properly. Um, but I certainly don't. 371 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:16,640 Speaker 1: Like they were clever, Oh yeah, clever, like get it 372 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,680 Speaker 1: and they're like can we get it? Man? Yeah, yeah, 373 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: I see d C. We we understand the joke. We 374 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: get the bit. This is a four minute song. So 375 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,359 Speaker 1: there's are spends a few weeks each year, you know, 376 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 1: in the winter doing galas and balls and you know, 377 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,640 Speaker 1: I had a had these big, insufferable parties. And then 378 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 1: in the spring they go to their second they're like 379 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: their palace, the peter Hof, which is in an area 380 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,719 Speaker 1: that has nicer springs, and then in late summers they 381 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,560 Speaker 1: go on their imperial yacht and sail around the coasts 382 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,120 Speaker 1: and the Baltic and all that stuff. Um, and then 383 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,720 Speaker 1: in autumn they go south and travel to their castles 384 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 1: in Poland and hunt throughout the fall. That sounds so dope. 385 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 1: It does sound pretty rad, right. That sounds like a 386 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 1: man now. I mean he is like working eighty hour 387 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:04,439 Speaker 1: nightmare weeks and like heading religious ceremonies and all this 388 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 1: stuff at the time. But yeah, it sounds like a 389 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: pretty fucking dope work schedule. What's even doper is his 390 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:14,159 Speaker 1: like noble cousins and uncles who have that lifestyle but 391 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 1: also don't have anything to do, like have zero responsibilities. 392 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,640 Speaker 1: That's the man that's the sweet spot. Not the czar, 393 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 1: but his like first cousin. Yeah, yeah, like tight enough 394 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: that the blood is very similar, but not so tight 395 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,359 Speaker 1: that you're going to get murdered in an upright and 396 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: when things go awry you can just kind of bounce 397 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: actually Dutch. Yeah, oh thank god, I spend so much 398 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 1: time in Germany. This worked out good for me. I'm 399 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:43,920 Speaker 1: gonna turn this accent on real quick. Yeah. So um 400 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,400 Speaker 1: Nicholas keeps a rigorous schedule. He wakes up at eight 401 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: every morning. He works until the night most days. Simon 402 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:54,200 Speaker 1: Mountfiori writes, refusing to delegate, Nikki signed off on trivialities 403 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 1: such as every change of name and divorce in the empire, 404 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 1: and lists of staff to receive easter eggs, as well 405 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,200 Speaker 1: as instances of exile and death. So he is he 406 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,199 Speaker 1: takes this thing of like absolute autocrat very seriously, and 407 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,919 Speaker 1: he is like micromanaging. He's doing DMV ship. He's covering 408 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:14,399 Speaker 1: a lot of ground. Yeah, congratulations you are married, and 409 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:23,120 Speaker 1: congratulations you ought to be hitted. Yeah. It is like 410 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 1: we talked about, like he's working all the time, but 411 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: a lot of it is stuff that like he doesn't 412 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: need to do, Like hey, yeah, you can even delegate 413 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,439 Speaker 1: some of this, buddy, but he doesn't, um and so 414 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 1: he has a lot of like busy work. He's again 415 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 1: like kind of the national DMV slash warlord Pope. It's 416 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,359 Speaker 1: a weird thing to do, man, it is. It's a 417 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 1: weird way to set up your gigantic country. Yeah, just 418 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: be like, no, I have to sign off on every divorce. Yeah, no, 419 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:55,119 Speaker 1: one expects this of you, Nicholas. Yeah, so fairly. Early 420 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,160 Speaker 1: on in his reign, Nicholas the Second had to make 421 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,679 Speaker 1: a crucial decision. Would he follow in his grandfather footsteps 422 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 1: and push for reform or would he be like his 423 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: dad an advocate of sacred auto criticism. He chose the latter, 424 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 1: vowing that when he had a son, he would pass 425 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 1: on to him and intact monarchy. This would prove to 426 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:18,640 Speaker 1: be problem Yeah, oh NICKI boiler alert. Yeah, does not 427 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,159 Speaker 1: wind up being that story. Um. This proved problematic for 428 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,680 Speaker 1: a couple of reasons. But the first thing that stymied 429 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: his goal was the fact that Alex just wasn't making 430 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,879 Speaker 1: baby boys. You know. Um, obviously that's not that's not 431 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,160 Speaker 1: on her. Um, you don't have any choice in the matter. 432 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 1: But it's also the most important thing for him to 433 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: do is to make an air, right, like every's our 434 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:43,120 Speaker 1: job number one is make another boy who can take 435 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:47,639 Speaker 1: over keep. Yeah. Um, it's like it's a big deal. 436 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,399 Speaker 1: And like the rain is, there's unrest in the kingdom 437 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,200 Speaker 1: and ship when you don't have an air because people 438 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 1: don't really know, is clearly how things are going to 439 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,679 Speaker 1: shake out. Because even if it's like your first cousin 440 00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 1: or whatnot. It's a lot messier if it's not the 441 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 1: way it's supposed to go in this system. So everybody's 442 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,199 Speaker 1: got a lot writing on he and Alex having a 443 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 1: baby boy, and by god, they try, um, but they 444 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 1: are They just keep making girls. Um he has four 445 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 1: daughters over the course of years. Um, well she has 446 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,879 Speaker 1: four daughters. Uh, and and he he helps. It's like 447 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: a shaking bake situation, you know. Um, and their credit, 448 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 1: they're very devoted to them. There's this story from his 449 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,879 Speaker 1: first daughter that like his wife starts sobbing when she 450 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: realizes she's had a daughter because she hasn't you know, 451 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 1: done her duty yet and give him a son. And 452 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,280 Speaker 1: he reassures her by saying, hey, we're gonna have a 453 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,080 Speaker 1: son one of these days, and he's going to belong 454 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,919 Speaker 1: to Russia. You know, this girl is ours, like our 455 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,479 Speaker 1: this child is just is just our daughter, and like 456 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,640 Speaker 1: that's that's that's great. Yeah, that's a sweet thing to say. 457 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 1: Like that's in a situation that can't possibly be healthy. 458 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 1: The healthiest way to think about this, I think, I 459 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: gotta be honest. He sounds like a real wife guy. 460 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,679 Speaker 1: He's a wife guy. He is he is, he's he 461 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 1: loves super wife. Dude. I love that for him because 462 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 1: apparently everyone else hates his wife. They share do and 463 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 1: and spoiler, his wife is sucks, is trash. His wife's bad, 464 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,159 Speaker 1: but he is too, So it's a good match. Like 465 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 1: it's like an Ava Brown Hitler situation where it's like 466 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 1: we were both deeply unpleasant, but you know, at least 467 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 1: you found each other. Yeah that's good. Yeah. Um, I 468 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe some people should not ever do anything 469 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 1: like Hitler, but we don't have that option. Whoa, whoa, 470 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 1: whoa whoa. Who are you canceling Hitler? Who are you 471 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: to judge? Yeah? What was he supposed to do after 472 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,240 Speaker 1: not getting into art school? What was the are supposed 473 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,880 Speaker 1: to do other than be the czar? Um? Don't man? Yeah, 474 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,879 Speaker 1: quit buddy, take your money and run like that's the thing. 475 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,360 Speaker 1: It's been a year as this are sock and ship 476 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,959 Speaker 1: away in Switzerland. Then go on a diplomatic trip one 477 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: day and just never come back. Just Bruce Wayne at 478 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,919 Speaker 1: the end of the dark Knight, just do a fucking 479 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:01,120 Speaker 1: Irish goodbye on being the Czar of all Russia. Good 480 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 1: Russian goodbye. Yeah, I was hanging out he's like a 481 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:11,199 Speaker 1: tin smith and like Boston. Yeah, figure it out. So 482 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: when duty kept the czar and his wife apart, the 483 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,359 Speaker 1: Emperor in Price would exchange letters on a daily basis. Um. 484 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: They usually had telegrams, and so they're like again, they're 485 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 1: like texting each other, like they are corresponding on a 486 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: rate that is pretty much modern, and they're like the 487 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,399 Speaker 1: Russian royal family really are the only people in the 488 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:29,919 Speaker 1: world who get to do this. I guess there's some 489 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 1: other royals like this, um, but like they're basically texting 490 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,200 Speaker 1: all the time, and so they talk to each other 491 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: about everything, and we, unfortunately, as a result of this, 492 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,000 Speaker 1: no a dismal amount about their sex life and what 493 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: they called each other. Man, how awkward must that have 494 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:54,000 Speaker 1: been for the dudepic guy who's like writing this down. Yeah, whatever, goddamn, 495 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 1: we have message back for confirmation. Do you want to 496 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 1: come on my neck? Did you mean neck? Right? Neck? 497 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,919 Speaker 1: His pet name or her pet name for him was 498 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: boise um like b o y s y, not like 499 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 1: idaho um. And and his pet name for her was 500 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,120 Speaker 1: lady um, which is fine, it's just some funny texture. 501 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 1: Not judging them whatever. Everybody has weird pet names. One 502 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 1: example letter reads, this is going to be hard to 503 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 1: get through doing an accent. It'll be easier tell Boise 504 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 1: that lady sings him her tenderest love and kisses and 505 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 1: often thinks of him in lonely sleepless nights. Like it's 506 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 1: sweet they love each other. But I expected something a 507 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 1: lot more like graphically sexual. They're too boring for that. Um, 508 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: here's how boring they are. We do they talk about 509 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 1: their sex life a lot, but it's all pretty bland. Um. 510 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: Because he's such a repressed dude in the eighteen hundreds, 511 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,880 Speaker 1: Czar is terrified to use the word period. So when 512 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,719 Speaker 1: he's like messaging her on the telegram as he's driving 513 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: back on a train and wants no, like are we 514 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,640 Speaker 1: gonna be able to fuck? Because he's he's obviously he's 515 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,119 Speaker 1: not that cool. Um, so he's asking like, are we 516 00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:06,639 Speaker 1: gonna be able to funk when I get back? And 517 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: so he'll ask, is madam Baker home? That's his like 518 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 1: slang for like are you are you having me mad? 519 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,879 Speaker 1: That's fair? Because remember this is going through to other people, 520 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 1: like it makes sense, like how's that puss? He's not 521 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,680 Speaker 1: gonna do that, I mean, other people do in this 522 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,680 Speaker 1: period and it's pretty funny. But yeah, they're a little 523 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,840 Speaker 1: more coy. He also calls it the military engineer. Um. 524 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: So I also remind you, by the way, I'm sorry 525 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,920 Speaker 1: to interrupt again, but I would also like to remind 526 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 1: you that we're talking about this now. So he is 527 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: funny correct to not be too graphic about this because 528 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,120 Speaker 1: we're like, let's talk about this other dipshit telegraph that 529 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,440 Speaker 1: he wrote Google James Joyce love letters and see how 530 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,920 Speaker 1: it can go when someone sho gets into someone else's hands. Yeah, yeah, 531 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: I'm good about that. Yeah. Um, I don't know. I 532 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 1: just find it funny. That's not a particular moral mark 533 00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,719 Speaker 1: against them, Like, it is interesting to me that they 534 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: are basically like sexting each other in the eighteen hundreds 535 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 1: because they have the ability, like they get to use 536 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: telegram machines that way. But also it means that someone 537 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 1: else has to do all of the actual sexting for them, um, 538 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,360 Speaker 1: which is awkward. It's some guy that's most likely wearing 539 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 1: an official uniform. He's he's got the biggest hat you've 540 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: seen in your life. He's at work, he's a work 541 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 1: setife how was your job, honey, I don't want to 542 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:31,560 Speaker 1: talk about Let me tell you this baker lady won't 543 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 1: go away months she shows up to her place. It's 544 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 1: really bizarre. So Nicholas doesn't seem to have really liked 545 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: his cousin Kaiser Villehelm because nobody liked Kaiser however, and 546 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 1: never never weird dude, um horny for his mom's hands. 547 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:55,000 Speaker 1: But he came calling regularly on like Kaiser Wilhelm came 548 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:58,240 Speaker 1: to Russia to hang out with Nikki pretty regularly. And 549 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,240 Speaker 1: this is for totally self serving reasons, and in he 550 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,719 Speaker 1: wants to get back into an alliance with Russia, so 551 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 1: he's like always dropping by to be like, hey, can 552 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: I borrow your entire military at the event of a 553 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 1: European conflict. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of what usually happens. Um, 554 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 1: and he starts trying to, like, as part of his 555 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 1: plan to win back the Tsar, he tries to convince 556 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 1: Nikki to expand um in in Asia rather than expanding 557 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 1: into Europe because like, Germany's doing some expanding stuff in 558 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 1: this period right there unifying they're getting getting their ship 559 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 1: locked down. Um, They're they're quarreling with a couple of 560 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 1: folks um. And he doesn't want Yeah, it it ends fine, um, 561 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: but he doesn't want he doesn't want the Czar to 562 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:44,960 Speaker 1: to look towards Europe. He wants him to like look 563 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,440 Speaker 1: towards Asia. Um. And also the Kaiser kind of has 564 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: some designs for taking part of China, which is sort 565 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 1: of falling apart in this period. Um. And so he's like, hey, 566 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,719 Speaker 1: why don't we like steal a little bit of of China. 567 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,040 Speaker 1: And because he's the Kaiser and very racist, he describes 568 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:04,000 Speaker 1: this as setting Russia up to quote defend Europe from 569 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,160 Speaker 1: the inroads of the Great Yellow Race. All of the 570 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 1: letters and this that that that racist phraser capitalized I 571 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 1: think by the Kaiser, who also spoke great English. He 572 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: didn't say great Yeah, I don't think you meant it 573 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 1: in a good way um. And he advocated working together 574 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,520 Speaker 1: to steal a bunch of ports from China. Um. And 575 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 1: Russia really wants a Chinese port because China has some 576 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 1: ports that don't freeze, and all of the ports in 577 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 1: Russia freeze at some point, right, Like it's not for 578 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,120 Speaker 1: all the ports at least on the east side of 579 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 1: the Empire. They they've got that problem. He wants like 580 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,040 Speaker 1: a warm weather port um and he wants to take 581 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 1: it from China. UM. And this is kind of like, 582 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 1: you know, the Kaiser is sort of like really pushing this, 583 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 1: but Nicholas definitely once again, as we said, like every 584 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 1: czar's job is to expand the empire um and this 585 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 1: is kind of the only real place to expand. So 586 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 1: Nicholas he hasn't made an air yet. He can't put 587 00:31:55,760 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 1: another boy into the Imperial you know, baby cavern or 588 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,000 Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it. But he can conquer 589 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 1: some land for Russia and maybe prove that he deserves 590 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 1: to be the czar that way. Um. So he sees 591 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,040 Speaker 1: his port arthur on the Chinese coast because again China 592 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,960 Speaker 1: sort of falling apart, and the Kaiser is like, yeah, 593 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 1: this is a great idea. Do it, do it? Do it? 594 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,720 Speaker 1: So he sends troops talk He's like, yeah, man, do it, 595 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 1: do it. It's gonna it's gonna go great for everybody. 596 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 1: It's like jackass, yeah yeah. But I'm Nicholas the second 597 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 1: and this is invading China, this is conquering the Chinese 598 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:34,479 Speaker 1: coast um. And his ministers in the navy are like 599 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 1: this is a bad idea, Bro. You don't know what 600 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:37,880 Speaker 1: you're getting into. Bro. We don't have a lot of 601 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 1: troops on that side of it is far the funk 602 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 1: away from Moscow. I don't know if you know how 603 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 1: big your country is, but like it's gonna be a 604 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:49,600 Speaker 1: problem fighting in China for US. UM. But the Czar 605 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 1: is like, uh, I note, I want I want a port, Um, 606 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 1: And the Navy is even like, well, this is a 607 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,400 Speaker 1: bad one to if you're going to go through this, 608 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,400 Speaker 1: if you're gonna like take all the risks of seizing 609 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 1: apport from China, this is into very good port. Why 610 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 1: don't we like go further south and take a port 611 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 1: in Korea. Um and his prime minister at the time, 612 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 1: a guy named Wit who we've met, you know, used 613 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 1: to be running the trains and stuff. Um points out 614 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 1: that this is going to funk up the alliance that 615 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 1: he already has with China. He's got like treaties because 616 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:19,160 Speaker 1: he's building the Trans Siberian Railway, which goes through territory 617 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,640 Speaker 1: China controls, so he has like a treaty with China. 618 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,600 Speaker 1: And his prime minister is like, well, you know they're 619 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,480 Speaker 1: not gonna be happy with you if you started conquering them. Yeah, 620 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 1: I don't know if you know what a treaty is. Yeah, 621 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:36,720 Speaker 1: generally with someone in the treaty is like that's a 622 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 1: no no yeah. And he's also Wit is also like, 623 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: Japan is not gonna be cool with this because they're 624 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,240 Speaker 1: in the Japan is waging war in China right now. 625 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 1: They are actively conquering chunks of China, and Japan and 626 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,680 Speaker 1: Russia are at peace at the moment. And Wit is like, 627 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 1: do you really want to like funk with Japan and 628 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: like their sphere of influence because like, we're not We're 629 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: not great at fighting over there. It's kind of far away. Um. 630 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: But the Young's are didn't listen. And again his two issues, 631 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 1: his two duties are to expand the empire and to 632 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,920 Speaker 1: make a baby, so like this is he sees this 633 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,839 Speaker 1: is like this is the one thing I can do. Um. 634 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,239 Speaker 1: And during his world tour, that big road trip we 635 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 1: talked about last episode, Nikki had met a prince um 636 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,280 Speaker 1: named Esper who was really into Buddhism. And this prince 637 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,560 Speaker 1: had claimed like, hey, people at Tibet are waiting for 638 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,200 Speaker 1: the Great White Tsar to conquer Tibet from China and 639 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,759 Speaker 1: free them. Everybody in Tibet wants to be ruled by 640 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 1: the czar. You just get you overthrow the British who 641 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,960 Speaker 1: are running things at the moment in there, and like 642 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,000 Speaker 1: they're going to be psyched with you. Um, which is 643 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 1: not Tibet, classic Tibet. Everybody just gets a picture of 644 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:47,120 Speaker 1: a Russian dude on their wall one day. Yeah, the 645 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:50,279 Speaker 1: Dali Lama just has an Ivan Drago poster hanging up 646 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:57,239 Speaker 1: in his So Nikki was very superstitious and religious, and 647 00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,680 Speaker 1: he was entranced by this vision of himself as a 648 00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:03,200 Speaker 1: great white czar. Driven by fantasies of a Russia expanded 649 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,480 Speaker 1: across Manchuria and Korea. He committed more and more of 650 00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:10,359 Speaker 1: his troops to Asia. Now, his brother dies in July 651 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 1: of eight from tuberculosis. And when his brother dies, that's 652 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 1: like the last reasonable voice that he's sometimes listened to. 653 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,400 Speaker 1: You know, he's got with He's got some like ministers 654 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,400 Speaker 1: that are reasonable, but he doesn't give a ship what 655 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,879 Speaker 1: they say, because they're not they're not there. They weren't, 656 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:27,920 Speaker 1: they weren't God given. Yeah, exactly, he did kindness sometimes, 657 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,560 Speaker 1: not all the time, not often listened to Georgie. But 658 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,759 Speaker 1: now Georgie's you know, dead as shit. Um, so this 659 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,920 Speaker 1: isn't gonna go great for anybody, at least of all China. 660 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,680 Speaker 1: Now in ninet Dred, we have the Boxer Rebellion, which 661 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: is this big populist uprising against the West in China. 662 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,520 Speaker 1: A bunch of embassies and Peaking get besieged, and like 663 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 1: everybody who's not China puts a big army together to 664 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:53,359 Speaker 1: go funk up China. Um, it's pretty yeah, we'll talk 665 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:57,440 Speaker 1: about it that this is like a criminally brief explanation 666 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 1: of what happens. I mean, it's a lot of people 667 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 1: that it's some dudes that thought they were in Crouching Tiger. 668 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,280 Speaker 1: And yeah, it did not go the way it was played. 669 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,160 Speaker 1: It did not nothing, nothing, None of this goes well. Um. 670 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,879 Speaker 1: Nicholas doesn't really want to send troops to China. He's 671 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:15,360 Speaker 1: like very anxious about actually having his soldiers in peking um, 672 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: but he's also bullish on conquering a bunch of China. 673 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,520 Speaker 1: So after his troops get back from the Boxer Rebellion, 674 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:25,440 Speaker 1: he sends a hundred and seventy thousand soldiers into Manchuria, um, 675 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 1: which he does not control, and his goal is to 676 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:32,239 Speaker 1: provoke a reaction that will justify like conquering all of Manchuria, 677 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,800 Speaker 1: which Japan is fighting over at the time and is 678 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,840 Speaker 1: owned by China. So he's he's really just like sticking 679 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,719 Speaker 1: his national dick in a hornet's nest um for no 680 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:47,000 Speaker 1: real reason. Like I love that phrasing. Yeah, yeah, he 681 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:48,759 Speaker 1: is about to fuck a hornet's nest. But you know 682 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,440 Speaker 1: who won't fuck a hornets nest? Jeff, go on, who 683 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:56,359 Speaker 1: who would that be? Well? Would um, well, they they'll 684 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,759 Speaker 1: have your cook one first, Yeah, they would have you. 685 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 1: They would have you, well, they would they would use you. 686 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,680 Speaker 1: Would you would marinate your dick in be venom or 687 00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:10,480 Speaker 1: hornet venom and then or something, Yeah, probably filled with hornets, 688 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:14,120 Speaker 1: filled with hornets um or the Washington State Highway Patrol 689 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 1: mostly hornets. Anyway, here's some ads. Ah, yeah, we're back. 690 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,839 Speaker 1: Jeff just got his first bleep I did, and then, 691 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,960 Speaker 1: you know what, I gotta be honest, felt great. It 692 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,880 Speaker 1: does trying to censor me on the New Joe Rogan. 693 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,799 Speaker 1: That's right, you're gonna you've gotta crowdfund and half a 694 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,960 Speaker 1: million dollars off of this. You can't. You can't censor me. 695 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,320 Speaker 1: I'm unsensorable. I'm a straight white man with a background 696 00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:49,480 Speaker 1: and fighting. You can't get you. You are the anti Rogan. 697 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,759 Speaker 1: We could get you guys to touch and uh yeah, 698 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 1: we'd we'd merged together like time cop. Yeah, and then 699 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 1: you would produce season five of Cereal. I don't know 700 00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:05,759 Speaker 1: how that works out, but it does. Um anyway, Yes, 701 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,640 Speaker 1: So how do you feel all this goes getting involved 702 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:13,080 Speaker 1: in in China trying to take a China fuxing with Japan. 703 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,120 Speaker 1: I'm flipping them off a little bit. I think this 704 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:18,040 Speaker 1: guy is good. I've seen the Princess Bride. I know 705 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,960 Speaker 1: for a fact you never get involved in a land 706 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,600 Speaker 1: war in Asia. You you sure do not. Um, and 707 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,600 Speaker 1: you also you really don't want to fuck with Like 708 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:31,439 Speaker 1: early nineteen hundreds, Japan. They have their ship together, they're 709 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,160 Speaker 1: doing okay. They had some walls, they had some ups 710 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:39,880 Speaker 1: and some downs. Japan has been pretty victorious all things considered. Um, China, 711 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:42,560 Speaker 1: they did not have a great second half of the 712 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,960 Speaker 1: You kind of can funk with China in this period, 713 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,759 Speaker 1: which is why the entire world does repeatedly. I mean, 714 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,759 Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, how many, how many drug dealing wars? Did 715 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 1: we have in order to protect our right to turn 716 00:38:55,600 --> 00:39:00,400 Speaker 1: the entire country into opiumatics? Yeah? Yeah, out and it 717 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,480 Speaker 1: was all for tea. That's right, everybody. Look it up. 718 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 1: British invaded a country to force them to buy drugs 719 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,120 Speaker 1: so that they could get tea more easily. Um so 720 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 1: us not even top ten of British Empire crimes. Like yeah, 721 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 1: man I, the open door policy in the opium Wars 722 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,440 Speaker 1: is so wild, it's really we we really need to 723 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,160 Speaker 1: get into that more on this because it is a 724 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,319 Speaker 1: fascinating period and it says just everything about the kind 725 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,320 Speaker 1: of individuals who were involved in colonialism in this period, 726 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:34,400 Speaker 1: one of whom is Nicholas the second so Um. In 727 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,719 Speaker 1: nineteen o one, the Czar and z Arena have their 728 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,440 Speaker 1: last daughter. Um, they've had four so far. I think 729 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,960 Speaker 1: it's four. M Who can keep track of them? Um? 730 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:45,200 Speaker 1: Well the Bolsheviks could. Well, maybe it's kind. They were 731 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:49,359 Speaker 1: little nesting dolls, just keeps popping. They have the one 732 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:51,279 Speaker 1: daughter and they just keep popping her in half and 733 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 1: pulling out another day. Inside is a tiny little son, 734 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:58,799 Speaker 1: the tiny little son who can't bleed right. Um So, 735 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,120 Speaker 1: about a month after they have their last daughter, two 736 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,040 Speaker 1: princesses who married into the Romanov family. They're called the 737 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:08,759 Speaker 1: Crows and simon Montfior's book, they're kind of occultists. Um, 738 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,480 Speaker 1: they're really into like weird witchy stuff, but like Christian 739 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,560 Speaker 1: I think it's pretty dope. There's a lot of that 740 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,440 Speaker 1: going around in this period. Um. They introduced Nicholas and 741 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:20,440 Speaker 1: Alexandra to a French healer. These princesses were originally from 742 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 1: Montenegro and they were part of like they were into 743 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:26,920 Speaker 1: these really occult Christian traditions. Um. And they introduced the 744 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,840 Speaker 1: Romanovs into like the world of like weird spiritual healers. 745 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 1: And Nicholas and Alexandra fall hard for this ship. And 746 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:39,760 Speaker 1: I'm gonna quote from the Romanovs. First, the sisters introduced 747 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:44,520 Speaker 1: to Nicki and alex to the epileptic holy idiot Mitka Colebia. 748 00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:52,759 Speaker 1: But when, but when the the fucking names? That was amazing. 749 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,840 Speaker 1: Um yeah. But then one of the sister's sons falls 750 00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:01,080 Speaker 1: ill and she consults a French peasant boy who working 751 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: at his uncle's butcher shop, had experienced an epiphany and 752 00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,480 Speaker 1: set himself up as a hydrophant specializing in the power 753 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:10,080 Speaker 1: of psychic fluids and astral forces to heal sickness and 754 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,360 Speaker 1: cure female sterility. Now, this guy's name is Philippe, and 755 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,200 Speaker 1: by the time the Czar and Zarina meet him, he's 756 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:19,640 Speaker 1: about fifty small, with black hair and black mustache, very 757 00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,800 Speaker 1: unsightly in appearance, with an ugly Southern French accent of 758 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,880 Speaker 1: someone close to the Romanov's rights. As Nikki and Alex 759 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,200 Speaker 1: struggled to conceive a boy, Philip visited Petersburg at the 760 00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,239 Speaker 1: Palace of the Crows and her one of the Crow women, 761 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,160 Speaker 1: and her husband, the Grand Duke Peter, noted Nicki this 762 00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,560 Speaker 1: evening we met the amazing Frenchman. So they like, they 763 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,480 Speaker 1: fall for this guy hert um and it's you know, 764 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 1: it's a rasputant kind of thing. It's exactly that these 765 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,640 Speaker 1: people are what we referred to as marks. Yes they are. 766 00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:52,320 Speaker 1: They would be devastatingly online and fall for every single 767 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:56,920 Speaker 1: scam number one, number one. The Czar would have like 768 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,719 Speaker 1: a thousand n F T s right now. Um, they 769 00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,560 Speaker 1: would be pouring bleached down their kids throats. They would 770 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,320 Speaker 1: they would have bought into everything they got trying to 771 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,880 Speaker 1: escape the palace. They got caught with seventeen pounds of 772 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:13,640 Speaker 1: board ape pictures they're running out of. Yeah, these are 773 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,399 Speaker 1: these are I can't emphasize this enough. Not smart people. Um, 774 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:23,560 Speaker 1: my precious, my precious ape's all gone. The Bolsheviks, Oh 775 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 1: could you do this to me? Is what the future? Yeah? 776 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,560 Speaker 1: And then you've got like Stalin in a room with 777 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,000 Speaker 1: I don't know, one of the red generals. They're like, no, 778 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,440 Speaker 1: that Lennon is dead. The board apes can go to 779 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,520 Speaker 1: the people. And Stalin looks at the board ape and 780 00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:41,120 Speaker 1: puts it in his pocket. No, no, this is my ap. 781 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:47,279 Speaker 1: Oh apes are stolen's. Um. So the Romanovs fall for 782 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,800 Speaker 1: this guy fucking immediately. They start calling him our friend 783 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,360 Speaker 1: with the F capitalized, which is what they call respute 784 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,160 Speaker 1: in decades later or years later, and they take him 785 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,600 Speaker 1: immediately into their confidence. Again, these people have like no 786 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,279 Speaker 1: guile at all, Like they're like the holy man who 787 00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:04,520 Speaker 1: can heal using magic? Let's tell him every state secret 788 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,640 Speaker 1: we have. I would love for you to plant these beans. 789 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:14,799 Speaker 1: It would have been very easy to spy on the 790 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: czar and Czarina if like you, you are a little 791 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 1: good at tricking people, like if you're a sub magician. 792 00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,600 Speaker 1: Perhaps he would like to see this ruple behind your ear. 793 00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,640 Speaker 1: I've watched the man pull his finger in half. We 794 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,719 Speaker 1: must give him our boy's health or he will be 795 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:38,800 Speaker 1: pulling us all in heath. Yeah, so just just lose 796 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:43,520 Speaker 1: every dime at a carnival. One carnival would have ruined 797 00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:53,160 Speaker 1: the Romano doctors. You cannot take this man's advice. Um. 798 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,480 Speaker 1: He has graduated from no school and he has no 799 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,240 Speaker 1: medical license. Like, you can't. You can't take his advice 800 00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,560 Speaker 1: on your wife's fertility or on the health of your children. 801 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,560 Speaker 1: You like, what are you doing? And those are is like, Oh, 802 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,840 Speaker 1: your problem with him is that he doesn't have a license. 803 00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:09,279 Speaker 1: We'll all make him a medical doctor by declaration and 804 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,720 Speaker 1: give him a medical license. No, that's not how it works. 805 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:19,240 Speaker 1: It doesn't Russia. That's not dude, that's not how it works. 806 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:23,920 Speaker 1: It's very funny, um. Simon Montfior continues. Soon Philip was 807 00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:27,160 Speaker 1: giving political advice. When Nikki met kaiser villelm Alex told 808 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,400 Speaker 1: her husband, our dear friend will be near you and 809 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,680 Speaker 1: help you answering William's questions, giving him the toughness to 810 00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,560 Speaker 1: be friendly and severe so that he realizes he dare 811 00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,800 Speaker 1: not joke with you that he learns to be afraid 812 00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,600 Speaker 1: of you. As for reform, Philip advised Nikki that a 813 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,600 Speaker 1: constitution would be the ruin of Russia. In the spring 814 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:46,160 Speaker 1: of nineteen o two, Alex fell pregnant and our friend 815 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,720 Speaker 1: was prophesying Russia was chosen to dominate the Far East. 816 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,640 Speaker 1: So this guy isn't is reinforcing again. He's doing the 817 00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,920 Speaker 1: thing that like helps you can powerful people. You tell 818 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 1: them what they want to hear. Those are wants to hear. Know, 819 00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,839 Speaker 1: the people don't need a constitution. And yes, you're you're 820 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,440 Speaker 1: going to conquer China. Yeah, which is such like a 821 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:08,640 Speaker 1: big gamble. Yeah to gamble. Yeah, like like you're gonna 822 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:13,279 Speaker 1: be able to do this one very hard thing about that. Yeah, 823 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,439 Speaker 1: the the guy who fell for my tricks are going 824 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:20,520 Speaker 1: to be able to tie this, not this fucking rube. 825 00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,160 Speaker 1: You're gonna be able to take care of it all. Oh, yeah, 826 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,560 Speaker 1: it's gonna go great for you. Send more guys to China. 827 00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,440 Speaker 1: That's gonna be really good. Yeah, you know what, I 828 00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:33,759 Speaker 1: got a mustache do So at this point, absolutely nothing 829 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,239 Speaker 1: but garbage is getting into the tsar's brain right like 830 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:40,919 Speaker 1: his his information Funnel is just pure trash um. Now 831 00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:44,600 Speaker 1: he's introduced by Sandro, who's normally like who's his cousin 832 00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,479 Speaker 1: and is normally like one of the more level headed 833 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,759 Speaker 1: people around him, to a captain named Bezobrazov who wants 834 00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,560 Speaker 1: to be the Cecil Rhodes of Russia and basically is like, 835 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,960 Speaker 1: send me over to Asia and I'll conquer it for you. 836 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,600 Speaker 1: I think your historic destiny is to conquer the East, 837 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,359 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna do it for you, right me, best 838 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,480 Speaker 1: of Brazov, I'm gonna be the guy you like. Give 839 00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,640 Speaker 1: me troops and money and I'll conquered Manchuria for you, 840 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:09,279 Speaker 1: and Korea too. Um, give me enough troops and enough 841 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,160 Speaker 1: money and I could do it. Yeah, I mean, I 842 00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,680 Speaker 1: feel like it wouldn't be that hard to I mean 843 00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:16,880 Speaker 1: if from what I remember of the Korean War, pretty 844 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:20,480 Speaker 1: easy war. Honestly, I'm gonna be like so easy that 845 00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:22,920 Speaker 1: I barely even remember it, barely even talk about it. 846 00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,200 Speaker 1: It's like a forgotten war or something, probably because it 847 00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:32,000 Speaker 1: was so boring, so boring. Japan is engaged at this point. 848 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:36,640 Speaker 1: They're they're again trying to conquer China. Congratulations Japan. Yeah, 849 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:43,080 Speaker 1: it doesn't work different. Mhmm. They're not getting married. You 850 00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:46,640 Speaker 1: would not you would not call this a marriage. Um. 851 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,640 Speaker 1: So they start clashing with Russia diplomatically over the fact 852 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,560 Speaker 1: that Russia's expanding into the areas that Japan is already 853 00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,000 Speaker 1: trying to conquer. And Japan does not want a war 854 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,880 Speaker 1: with Russia because it's a bad idea to go to 855 00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:00,440 Speaker 1: war with Russia historically, most most of the time. Um, 856 00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:05,080 Speaker 1: Japan likes to avoid wars that are not defensive in general, 857 00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:08,800 Speaker 1: until they see the opportunity. You don't want to You 858 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,040 Speaker 1: don't want to leave the island for a war with Russia. 859 00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,320 Speaker 1: It's not a good idea, it's not I mean, especially 860 00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:15,640 Speaker 1: you're already fighting this war with China right like you're 861 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,960 Speaker 1: trying to You're you're engaged in conflict all over. Your 862 00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:22,480 Speaker 1: resources are extended, and Russia is huge and rich. Um, 863 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,359 Speaker 1: you don't really want to funk with them. And they 864 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,520 Speaker 1: have a reputation as being a good naval power too, 865 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,480 Speaker 1: And maybe Japan doesn't really want to like test this ship. 866 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:33,279 Speaker 1: Just look at there. He's dressed like a like a sailor. Yeah, 867 00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,879 Speaker 1: he's gonna be great with boats. He's wearing that little 868 00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:39,320 Speaker 1: outfit dressed like a sailor, his whole goddamn life. Now, 869 00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,280 Speaker 1: Japan is scared of getting into a fight with with 870 00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:47,320 Speaker 1: with Russia. But because he's listening to Bezo Brasov, Nicholas 871 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,320 Speaker 1: is not at all freight frighten the for war with Japan. 872 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,040 Speaker 1: He thinks it's going to be a cake walk, and 873 00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:54,080 Speaker 1: Bezo Brazov convinces him that conflict is inevitable, so the 874 00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,200 Speaker 1: best thing to do is to start threatening Japan with 875 00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,960 Speaker 1: open war. And basically like, hey, if we lay our 876 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,440 Speaker 1: cards out on the table, they'll either fight us and 877 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,359 Speaker 1: we'll win, or they won't fight us and we'll get 878 00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:07,600 Speaker 1: our ship. Right Like, that's Bezobrazov's attitude. He tells there 879 00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,760 Speaker 1: only the bayonet can guarantee the success of our activities 880 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:15,120 Speaker 1: in Manchuria. Um it does not. So, despite the fact 881 00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,480 Speaker 1: that this guy is kind of unhinged, Nikki gives him 882 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 1: two million roubles and sends him east on a secret 883 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,880 Speaker 1: mission to set up a paramilitary force in Manchuria to 884 00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:27,120 Speaker 1: help them conquer it Um, which Bezobrazov has. There's nothing 885 00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,719 Speaker 1: in his background that would make him capable of this. Yeah, 886 00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,359 Speaker 1: that's that's when you make that Irish goodbye. That's when 887 00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:36,360 Speaker 1: you just take your money and bounce. That is, that 888 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,239 Speaker 1: is a bounceable amount of money to have. But he 889 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:42,560 Speaker 1: does not bounce um. And when he finds out Wit, 890 00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,880 Speaker 1: who's again one of the few reasonable people in the 891 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:50,200 Speaker 1: Czar's orbit, uh Like laments that a quote half mad, 892 00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,759 Speaker 1: preposterous adventurer is purely in charge of their policy in 893 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,920 Speaker 1: the East. So Nicholas is basically like, yeah, crazy dude, 894 00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:59,200 Speaker 1: do whatever you want. You're in charge of Russia's policy 895 00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:02,279 Speaker 1: towards China. This is going to end. Well, that's like 896 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:06,480 Speaker 1: giving mel Gibson's character from Lethal Weapon in charge of that. Like, 897 00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,800 Speaker 1: it's just like a very unhinged existence to see somebody 898 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,640 Speaker 1: be in charge of anything with Yeah, it's it's not 899 00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,640 Speaker 1: a great call. And while Nicholas is edging Japan towards 900 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,120 Speaker 1: the brink of war, ship is not copasetic in the 901 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:22,520 Speaker 1: Imperial interior. This article by Shlomo Lambrosa, writing for Oxford 902 00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:26,839 Speaker 1: University Press, lays out the situation. The lack of any 903 00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:30,880 Speaker 1: substantive reform policy, compounded by a deteriorating economy, led to 904 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:34,279 Speaker 1: increased incidents of popular violence. Poor harvests in nineteen o 905 00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,000 Speaker 1: two and nineteen o three caused wide scale unrest in 906 00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,239 Speaker 1: rural areas. Peasants roamed the countryside in search of work 907 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,560 Speaker 1: and food, occasionally resorting to violence. In nineteen o two, 908 00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:46,640 Speaker 1: in the provinces of Kharkov and Poltava, peasants looted homes 909 00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:49,640 Speaker 1: from the nobility, causing thousands of rubles worth of damage. 910 00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:53,160 Speaker 1: So that is a is a problem for the Russians, right, 911 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,960 Speaker 1: It's not a problem people starving, but now rich people 912 00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:59,799 Speaker 1: for the Russians. Yeah, oh, ship, small pockets of the 913 00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,200 Speaker 1: or are rising up against the nobility. Yeah, I guess 914 00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:05,080 Speaker 1: we should just do the same thing for the next 915 00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,799 Speaker 1: sixteen years. Yeah, I guess we should continue taking no 916 00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:13,160 Speaker 1: changes whatsoever and maybe start a war with Japan. Um. Yeah, 917 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:16,440 Speaker 1: so economic the fact that the economy is falling apart, 918 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,800 Speaker 1: it doesn't unfortunately, like there are some isolated pockets of 919 00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,239 Speaker 1: people going after nobles. For the most part, they go 920 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,440 Speaker 1: after the people that Russian peasants go after, and Russian 921 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,640 Speaker 1: nobles go after. When they're angry, they make the same 922 00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,879 Speaker 1: call that Alexander the Third does. They they go after 923 00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:36,080 Speaker 1: the Jews. Um, you know, doubt again, this is why 924 00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,600 Speaker 1: like tens of thousands of Jewish people are leaving Russia 925 00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:42,799 Speaker 1: every year because it's it's not a not an easy spot. Um. 926 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:46,760 Speaker 1: They're like, you know what's better. Yeah, yeah, it sounds 927 00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,120 Speaker 1: like that's a lot gotta be a lot safer for us. 928 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,160 Speaker 1: In nineteen o three, all of this culminates in the 929 00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,719 Speaker 1: first Pegram of the century in a city named Kishenev. 930 00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,919 Speaker 1: It started with what was basically a drunken party where 931 00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,640 Speaker 1: several kids vanned lies Jewish properties. So you get these 932 00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,719 Speaker 1: like young kind of nationalist, right wing youth and they 933 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,800 Speaker 1: vandalize a synagogue, um, and then some Jewish own stops, shops, 934 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,440 Speaker 1: and things just kind of keep escalating. Thank god that 935 00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,359 Speaker 1: doesn't happen in modern times anymore. Yeah, we we got 936 00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,920 Speaker 1: that out of the species is system. Thank god the 937 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,359 Speaker 1: Jews are no longer targeted by hate crimes anymore. That's 938 00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:27,920 Speaker 1: what everyone says about the Jews, that things are simple 939 00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:31,520 Speaker 1: for them now. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna quote from the 940 00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,640 Speaker 1: Harvard Crimson here or Harvard Gazette here, Sorry, not the Crimson. 941 00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,680 Speaker 1: Fuck the Crimson. This is the Harvard Gazette. Gangs of 942 00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,080 Speaker 1: twenty armed with hatchets and knives stormed through the town's 943 00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:44,120 Speaker 1: narrow streets and into its courtyards, where Jewish families defended 944 00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:47,560 Speaker 1: themselves with garden implements and other meager weapons. In the end, 945 00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,920 Speaker 1: forty nine Jews were killed and an untold number of 946 00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:53,960 Speaker 1: Jewish women were raped and Jewish homes were damaged. This 947 00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:57,480 Speaker 1: sudden rush of hoodlum violence, prompted by accusatory rumors of 948 00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:01,120 Speaker 1: Jewish ritual murder, quickly became a talents of imperial Russian 949 00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:09,280 Speaker 1: brutality against its Jews. So, yeah, that's cutting out, guys, 950 00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:15,120 Speaker 1: just cut it out. Great, Yeah, it's it's yeah. Maybe 951 00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:19,960 Speaker 1: maybe don't have you tried not about it and his 952 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:23,520 Speaker 1: his his empire. Maybe not so Nikki. When he hears 953 00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:26,120 Speaker 1: about this big pagram Um, he puts a dude in 954 00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:29,160 Speaker 1: charge of dealing with it Um, a minister named Pleeve 955 00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,120 Speaker 1: who has taken part in anti Semitic violence before and 956 00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,120 Speaker 1: is one of the most infamous anti Semites in the 957 00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:39,319 Speaker 1: Russian government. Um And actually Pleeve becomes one of the 958 00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,480 Speaker 1: more moderate people around him, which is not great Um, 959 00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:46,200 Speaker 1: but his move he fires the governor of of Kishenev, 960 00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:49,799 Speaker 1: which fine Um and Nikki seems to barely kind of 961 00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:52,520 Speaker 1: notice that a pogram has happened. This does not really 962 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,239 Speaker 1: take up a lot of cycles in his brain. He's 963 00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:57,319 Speaker 1: concerned with the fact that his wife is pregnant. Again, say, 964 00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,400 Speaker 1: he's probably too busy sexty. Yeah, he is too busy sexting. 965 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:03,359 Speaker 1: Does not care about this program um on the day 966 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:04,920 Speaker 1: of it, He's just kind of like writing home to 967 00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:06,880 Speaker 1: his wife about ship. He doesn't. This doesn't seem to 968 00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,120 Speaker 1: really left a mark on him at all, um and 969 00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:10,880 Speaker 1: he can Tee and his wife continue to get all 970 00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:13,960 Speaker 1: of their medical advice from Philippe. Uh. This was deeply 971 00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:17,480 Speaker 1: worrying to the old wind Impress, the Czar's mother, and 972 00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,480 Speaker 1: so she sends a secret agent with the acrona Russian 973 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:24,400 Speaker 1: secret service, to investigate Philippe. This this healer, and the 974 00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,560 Speaker 1: investigation realizes, like, this guy has been charged with practicing 975 00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:32,520 Speaker 1: medicine without a license in France. A bunch like arnest, Yeah, 976 00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:35,120 Speaker 1: He's like yeah, this one car and he got close 977 00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,000 Speaker 1: to the Tsar and immediately conned his ass. Smooth the 978 00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:41,080 Speaker 1: ship man. This guy, this guy would talk himself anywhere, 979 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:44,080 Speaker 1: and when this report was brought to the Czar, he 980 00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:47,719 Speaker 1: fires the agent who writes it, not Philippe. UM. And 981 00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:51,440 Speaker 1: Philip's health advice during this this pregnancy that Alex is having, 982 00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:53,880 Speaker 1: UM is that she's not allowed to be weighed or 983 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,319 Speaker 1: inspected by doctors in any way whatsoever. Um. And the 984 00:53:57,360 --> 00:54:00,919 Speaker 1: reason is because she's not actually pregnant. She's like some people, 985 00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:04,000 Speaker 1: she may have had like kind of a miscarriage or something. Basically, UM, 986 00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:06,120 Speaker 1: we don't really know. He may have just been lying 987 00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,000 Speaker 1: to her and trying to get her to put on 988 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,080 Speaker 1: a little weight and telling her that she was pregnant 989 00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:11,520 Speaker 1: so that he could try to get a bunch of 990 00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:14,480 Speaker 1: money out of them. It's kind of unclear exactly what happened, 991 00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:18,680 Speaker 1: but he's definitely yeah, he knows she's not pregnant, because 992 00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,160 Speaker 1: he's like, oh, yeah, I don't let anybody weigh you 993 00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:26,080 Speaker 1: and don't let the doctors look at you. Yeah. This 994 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,960 Speaker 1: six ft party sublivered and and the Zarin Zarina are 995 00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,560 Speaker 1: like that makes sense. Um. Now, obviously, eventually you can 996 00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,919 Speaker 1: only hide from someone that they're not pregnant for so long. 997 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:38,680 Speaker 1: There is a point at which it will become very 998 00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:42,640 Speaker 1: clear that you were not pregnant. Um. This happens, Uh, 999 00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,279 Speaker 1: And when it does. This does kind of break the 1000 00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:48,800 Speaker 1: spell a little bit, and Nicholas finally fires Philip. Simon 1001 00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:52,600 Speaker 1: Montfio writes, before he left, laden with presents, including a 1002 00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:55,200 Speaker 1: Surpole motor car, he gave the Impress a little bell 1003 00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:58,920 Speaker 1: that would ring if dark forces lurked. Philip died soon afterwards, 1004 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,959 Speaker 1: but not before he had warrant that he would merely 1005 00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:04,560 Speaker 1: vanish and then reappear. Sometime. You will have another friend 1006 00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:08,280 Speaker 1: like me who will speak to you of God. That's good. 1007 00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:12,000 Speaker 1: You ain't never had a friend. Lock me a Latin 1008 00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,919 Speaker 1: genie ng he is. He is genieing him and he's 1009 00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:18,160 Speaker 1: also like setting him up for Rasputin, which I kind 1010 00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,440 Speaker 1: of he must have known he was an old man, 1011 00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:22,160 Speaker 1: Like he must have known he didn't have that much longer. 1012 00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:23,920 Speaker 1: I wonder if he was just like, I'm going to 1013 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,000 Speaker 1: do a solid for the next con man who gets 1014 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,520 Speaker 1: close to these idiots. You know what, you gotta get 1015 00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:31,880 Speaker 1: a look out for the next generation. Yeah, he's really 1016 00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,799 Speaker 1: setting ship up for rass S. Butin like another guy 1017 00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,839 Speaker 1: is going to come and con these rich people out 1018 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,600 Speaker 1: of more of their stuff. And I want it to 1019 00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:42,160 Speaker 1: be easy for him because there is something fascinating about 1020 00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:46,440 Speaker 1: these uh, these like mystics that the that the Tsars 1021 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:49,360 Speaker 1: are pulling in at the end here the Romanos because 1022 00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:53,719 Speaker 1: like they say ship that's like oddly like it's an 1023 00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:57,279 Speaker 1: odd portant, Like they'll say ship that. Because we talk 1024 00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,359 Speaker 1: about like Resputin, he's like, yeah, he doesn't think of him, 1025 00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:04,000 Speaker 1: like he's got some really prophetic sounding stuff, the ones 1026 00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,239 Speaker 1: I remember being very specifically, he's like, you know, if 1027 00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:09,640 Speaker 1: you kill me, you are bucked. Yeah, you're fucked. Uh, 1028 00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:12,920 Speaker 1: this war is gonna go bad. Like but also if 1029 00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:15,319 Speaker 1: you rest boot Putin and you're a pretty good con 1030 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:18,439 Speaker 1: man and you know these people, it's a safe bet 1031 00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,520 Speaker 1: to be, like I'll just tell them things are gonna 1032 00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:22,880 Speaker 1: get real bad because they probably are going to keep 1033 00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:28,840 Speaker 1: getting real bad because these people yeah, yeah, yeah, Um 1034 00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:32,080 Speaker 1: I don't know, Jeff, but I do know that that's 1035 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:35,399 Speaker 1: going to be in the end of part two. You get, yeah, 1036 00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:38,120 Speaker 1: let's do it for this for this week. You know, 1037 00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:40,160 Speaker 1: Like I said, if you guys find me on social 1038 00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:42,279 Speaker 1: media Twitter and Instagram at hey there, Jeff ro come 1039 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,200 Speaker 1: say hi. I'm actually uh pretty funny on the old 1040 00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,919 Speaker 1: on the old Twitter, damn straight. We have a good 1041 00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,400 Speaker 1: time on there. You can also check out my shows. 1042 00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:52,239 Speaker 1: I have Jeff Has Cool Friends, which is available at 1043 00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:54,960 Speaker 1: patreon dot com slash Jeff May for early on censored 1044 00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:57,000 Speaker 1: episodes with bonus content, or you can listen to it 1045 00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:58,759 Speaker 1: for three a week later. I have a lot of 1046 00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,160 Speaker 1: really cool friends. If you're a nerve, you absolutely love it. 1047 00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:04,480 Speaker 1: I also have Tom and Jeff watch Batman on the 1048 00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,439 Speaker 1: Gamefully Unemployed Network. You can check that out with Tom 1049 00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:09,759 Speaker 1: Ryman as well as you don't even like sports and 1050 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:13,000 Speaker 1: on Popular Opinion both on the Unpopps network with Adam 1051 00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:16,680 Speaker 1: Todd Brown. Yeah, Robert, what do you got to plug? Man? 1052 00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:19,880 Speaker 1: Tell me something something good. I got a novel called 1053 00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:22,440 Speaker 1: After the Revolution. It's you can preorder it now and 1054 00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:25,800 Speaker 1: get it signed. If you google a k Press After 1055 00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:28,280 Speaker 1: the Revolution, you can find my novel. It'll come sign 1056 00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,640 Speaker 1: to your house. So order order that ship check it out. 1057 00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,640 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, I'm gonna do that. I want you to 1058 00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:35,920 Speaker 1: know my address. I will not, but somewhat at a 1059 00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,640 Speaker 1: k Press will learn your address. Well, yeah, and we 1060 00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:42,160 Speaker 1: eat it for for unsettling purposes. That's that's the guarantee 1061 00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:48,800 Speaker 1: unsavory books. All right, Well, that's gonna do it for 1062 00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:51,479 Speaker 1: us behind the bastards this week. Come back next week 1063 00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:55,080 Speaker 1: for several more hours of talking about Zar Nicholas the Second, 1064 00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:58,120 Speaker 1: so much, Nicholas the Second, way too much Nicholas the 1065 00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:01,880 Speaker 1: Second any responsible amount, Not Nicholas the Second. I would say, 1066 00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:04,480 Speaker 1: that's what Nicholas the Second said right before he got 1067 00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:07,400 Speaker 1: shot by the Bolsheviks. He's like, you know, maybe a 1068 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,880 Speaker 1: few more weeks. I feel like more of me would 1069 00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:11,600 Speaker 1: have been good. I was really going to pull it 1070 00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:15,880 Speaker 1: out in the last quarter. Give me a chance. I 1071 00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:24,840 Speaker 1: can fix. I can fix. I can change baby's tiny war. Fine, perfect, 1072 00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:29,880 Speaker 1: I'll see you next week, all right, bam