Speaker 1: Hey, the folks, it is Monday, August seventeenth. Shocking news
Speaker 1: this morning that actress Hayden Panetier has died at the
Speaker 1: age of thirty six, and with that, welcome to this
Speaker 1: episode of Amy and TJ Rogues. Thirty six. A young life,
Speaker 1: a troubled life, but also a life that, for the
Speaker 1: most part, has been lived in the spotlight.
Speaker 2: Yes she you know, first of all, just what a shocking,
Speaker 2: incredibly sad story to wake up to, especially for so
Speaker 2: many people who knew her and loved her and believed
Speaker 2: most of her struggles and all the pain that she
Speaker 2: has been so public about were behind her. She had
Speaker 2: just released a memoir and it seemed by most people's
Speaker 2: accounts that she was on the right path. She finally
Speaker 2: found her way after multiple stints and rehab and dealing
Speaker 2: with loss and dealing with a really painful custody situation.
Speaker 2: It seemed like she was building her life back together.
Speaker 2: But yes, she became an actress so to speak, at
Speaker 2: eight months old. That's hard to imagine. She had been
Speaker 2: in dozens of commercials by the time she was five.
Speaker 2: She lived her life in the spotlight.
Speaker 3: And we don't know as of this recording what happened.
Speaker 1: No cause of death was released, but we did get
Speaker 1: official word from her dad that she had passed away. Again,
Speaker 1: this is a young lady. You just mentioned the memoir
Speaker 1: that just came out in May. I do believe, but
Speaker 1: she's so young, and really I guess the past, and
Speaker 1: I guess most people what would be the thing robes
Speaker 1: we would point to first that people know her from, Well,
Speaker 1: what would it be? Because the screen movies were pretty recent.
Speaker 2: Nashville was a pretty big hit. That was a huge
Speaker 2: hit for ABC, but people remember people talk about her
Speaker 2: breakout role being Heroes, where she was that cheerleader on NBC.
Speaker 2: People started to get to really know her and know
Speaker 2: her by her name write at about sixteen, but she
Speaker 2: had been in I mean, going through her IMBD. It's
Speaker 2: too much to even put all in one episode. That's
Speaker 2: just how much this young lady had been working since
Speaker 2: she I mean, she doesn't remember a time in her
Speaker 2: life where she wasn't working. And part of that pressure
Speaker 2: and part of that scrutiny of being a child actor
Speaker 2: many people will be examining as playing a role into
Speaker 2: many of her struggles that may have ultimately led to
Speaker 2: her untimely death.
Speaker 1: You know that are going to be pointing to you.
Speaker 1: Probably already saw it this morning as well. I believe
Speaker 1: it was a variety that had the headline Hollywood failed
Speaker 1: Hayden Benetier correct, and it went through all. I mean,
Speaker 1: she's detailed these before, but the story after store of
Speaker 1: how she was exploited, how she was you could even
Speaker 1: argue sexually abused in Hollywood, and just kept going. It
Speaker 1: was kind of an accepted thing. She details all that
Speaker 1: stuffes and a lot of it led to all kinds
Speaker 1: of troubles that she had with addiction, with alcoholism and
Speaker 1: in relationship problem all she's doing all of this in
Speaker 1: front of the world en robes at the same time
Speaker 1: fighting for roles in Hollywood. I mean that's stressful enough.
Speaker 1: So this and I saw the age, I said, Jesus,
Speaker 1: because she's still she always has the little cheerleader look
Speaker 1: to her. She looks the way she looked in Heroes
Speaker 1: still kind of I couldn't believe.
Speaker 3: She was just thirty six.
Speaker 2: It's hard to believe. I mean, yes, she's been in
Speaker 2: our lives. We've known of Hayden Penetier since as long
Speaker 2: as I can remember. And I didn't realize how young
Speaker 2: she still was. That was actually one of the more
Speaker 2: shocking things to me to see that she was only
Speaker 2: thirty six. Because we've known her for the past twenty years,
Speaker 2: I expected her to be much older. Granted she looks
Speaker 2: like she's still a teenager for sure, but to know
Speaker 2: that her birthday, her thirty seventh birthday, would have been
Speaker 2: this Friday, August twenty first, What a damn shame like it.
Speaker 2: I've never met her, I've never come across her, but
Speaker 2: we all felt like we knew her, and we all
Speaker 2: are mourning this shocking loss of her, because, yeah, we
Speaker 2: we were kind of along for the ride. She brought
Speaker 2: us along with her, whether she wanted to or not.
Speaker 2: We were watching, We were witnessing.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: To a degree. I'm trying to think of other examples
Speaker 1: of this. Some Britney Spears comes to mind. Yes, But
Speaker 1: there are some people who begin as child actors. We are,
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, when they become adults a little more
Speaker 1: protective of them. We still see them in some way
Speaker 1: as folks who always, even as they get older and
Speaker 1: maybe make some mistakes and have troubles, we're willing to.
Speaker 1: We almost want to put our arms around them. They
Speaker 1: were kids and.
Speaker 3: They grew up.
Speaker 1: It's almost like we raised them to some degree. And
Speaker 1: she just feels that way. She was troubled and to
Speaker 1: see another and I say Britney spears and that she
Speaker 1: was a young she was a child. Yes, she had
Speaker 1: made hits, but to some degree still to watch her,
Speaker 1: you feel some sense of that with some of these
Speaker 1: folks who came up in an industry that you know,
Speaker 1: at those young ages, they were exploited, absolutely.
Speaker 3: Used and exposed to things that no kids should be.
Speaker 2: And she has been and had been very passionate about
Speaker 2: protecting child actors because she knew all too well the
Speaker 2: dangers of being in the spotlight like that. And if
Speaker 2: there aren't people who are constantly protecting these young actors,
Speaker 2: unfortunately there is a lot of heartache that can follow them.
Speaker 2: And look to hear her and to see her write
Speaker 2: about all of these struggles, I think we remember them
Speaker 2: as they came up. She was very open about her
Speaker 2: postpartum struggle. She was very open about her alcohol and
Speaker 2: her subscription or prescription pill addiction. She was very open
Speaker 2: about domestic violence that she suffered from a boyfriend that
Speaker 2: followed the relationship we had with her ex fiance, which
Speaker 2: produced her young daughter. She lived apart from her daughter.
Speaker 2: Her daughter, her eleven year old daughter lives in Ukraine.
Speaker 2: The pain of that she lost her brother unexpectedly three
Speaker 2: years ago at the age of twenty eight. He had
Speaker 2: an enlarged heart. I mean, you just start to see
Speaker 2: trauma after trauma after trauma that this young woman has
Speaker 2: faced in the spotlight and ropes.
Speaker 1: So many of those things you mentioned happened very recently
Speaker 1: in her life, and a cluster of time where, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know the screen movies came out that's in recent years.
Speaker 2: Was twenty twenty three, I believe.
Speaker 1: She was in four and six? Yes, I think it
Speaker 1: was to have right, you do? So, yeah, maybe she's
Speaker 1: going through Hollywood is hard. Forget the personal stuff for
Speaker 1: a second, competing for roles, even getting the role, and
Speaker 1: then the reviews come and then all that stuff is
Speaker 1: difficult enough. She was managing and maintaining that while dealing
Speaker 1: with addiction in and out of rehab, custody, disputes, breakups
Speaker 1: and all these things. It seems like too much, quite frankly,
Speaker 1: but all those things you mentioned robes the X but
Speaker 1: I didn't realize the domestic violence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he went to jail for herm he did so, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and that should be point. It wasn't her just saying
Speaker 2: he was abusive to her. No, his name was Brian Hickerson.
Speaker 2: She dated him right when her marriage ended and her
Speaker 2: daughter was She allowed her daughter she did feel like
Speaker 2: in her ex fiance and they seem to have a
Speaker 2: really good relationship, but he was just like, my daughter
Speaker 2: is not our daughter is not safe in your presence.
Speaker 2: And I think she came to realize, even though she
Speaker 2: denied it, she realized she had a problem, and so
Speaker 2: she allowed him to take her and move to Ukraine
Speaker 2: with her. And in that same year she started dating
Speaker 2: this guy. I think he's a fellow actor. Don't know
Speaker 2: him from his work, Brian Hickerson. But he ended up
Speaker 2: pleading no contest to two fell counts of domestic violence
Speaker 2: and spent I think forty five years in forty five
Speaker 2: years forty five days behind bars for that. But yes,
Speaker 2: it was documented and she suffered emotional and physical abuse
Speaker 2: from him, and she describes it in her memoir.
Speaker 1: The Girls, When the girl went through hell, And I
Speaker 1: don't know what anybody is supposed to do from a
Speaker 1: public standpoint, from a fan standpoint, what do you do?
Speaker 3: Robes?
Speaker 1: Is it just supposed to be Really the people that
Speaker 1: are around her that should have protected her better. This
Speaker 1: is not to blame anybody for her death. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that, but she describes a life of hell.
Speaker 3: Robes.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're celebrating, we're smiling, and she's a great actress,
Speaker 1: all these and she was living it through some hell
Speaker 1: that she describes.
Speaker 3: Robes.
Speaker 1: Everything you throw in there, addiction, abuse, relationship breakdowns, assaults,
Speaker 1: postpartum depression, throw it all, I mean ROMs.
Speaker 2: And look, we've been talking a lot about postpartum depression, psychosis,
Speaker 2: and this Lindsay Clancy murder trial that we've been talking about.
Speaker 2: This woman in Massachusetts who killed her three children, strangled them.
Speaker 2: She says she's not criminally responsible because of postpartum psychosis.
Speaker 2: But to hear I think I can never say her
Speaker 2: last name. This is awful for me. Pennatier, Hayden Pennatier
Speaker 2: was very outspoken. She is one of the first women
Speaker 2: I remember, or I recall, famous woman, a huge Hollywood star,
Speaker 2: actually describing what that process was like and what it
Speaker 2: was like to be that depressed on the set of Nashville.
Speaker 2: They actually remember had to write into her character's part
Speaker 2: about being pregnant because she was so visibly pregnant. But
Speaker 2: she said the whole time she was on the set
Speaker 2: she was starting to feel the effects of just depression
Speaker 2: and that just reared its ugly head right after her
Speaker 2: daughter was born in twenty fourteen, and then to lose
Speaker 2: custody of her when she was just three years old,
Speaker 2: be in a different country than your child as a
Speaker 2: mother is incredibly painful.
Speaker 1: And I'm not sure what I can only imagine what
Speaker 1: the public reaction was at the time. But when you
Speaker 1: hear a mother either losing or giving up custody of
Speaker 1: her child to a father, it immediately You talked about
Speaker 1: this very much recently. It brings judgment from other women.
Speaker 2: But I actually think how brave and courageous of her
Speaker 2: to do that, knowing that she was battling something that
Speaker 2: would negatively impact her daughter and was willing to sacrifice that.
Speaker 2: It can make me cry. She was willing to sacrifice
Speaker 2: being with her daughter because she knew her daughter was
Speaker 2: safer and better off with her father. That takes an
Speaker 2: unbelievable act of courage and selflessness I believe to abdicate
Speaker 2: that role in a physical presence. I mean, she talked
Speaker 2: about literally trying to help raise her via FaceTime and
Speaker 2: how no mother should have to do that. That is
Speaker 2: where she was at this point, she I mean, just
Speaker 2: listening to her own words. We don't know why, we
Speaker 2: don't know how officially she died, but we do have
Speaker 2: her words that she just recently gave us in this memoir,
Speaker 2: again released in May, but she said not being under
Speaker 2: the same roof with her every day has been the
Speaker 2: most gut wrenching experience of my life, she says. I
Speaker 2: grieve that I'm not the mother I thought i'd be,
Speaker 2: and definitely not the mother I want to be. Trust me,
Speaker 2: no one should ever raise a child on FaceTime. That
Speaker 2: obviously had to weigh heavily on her.
Speaker 1: I mean, who knows, I mean, and who knows how
Speaker 1: much more we'll find out. It's just to see one
Speaker 1: of these We saw what very recently we've been talking
Speaker 1: about Jason R. Day professor and just people getting pushed
Speaker 1: I guess robes by what by pressure by these She
Speaker 1: clearly had some real problems that she documented throughout, and
Speaker 1: we just talk about addiction and what robes This stuff
Speaker 1: messes with your brain chemistry.
Speaker 3: Right, and that's it.
Speaker 1: You're wired in such a way robes that you have
Speaker 1: that you can't it gets to a point you can't cope.
Speaker 1: And we're seeing that and we know this, And how
Speaker 1: do you help these folks? How do you identify it?
Speaker 1: How do you intervene? What are you supposed to do?
Speaker 2: I don't know. She had months, several months long stays
Speaker 2: in different rehab facilities, some for addictions, some for postpartum depression.
Speaker 2: She was seeking help. She was trying to get help,
Speaker 2: and I think I wonder, like this, really it's jarring
Speaker 2: to know that she wrote this memoir and she talked.
Speaker 2: I mean, she went on a big campaign. She gave speeches,
Speaker 2: she went on podcasts. Obviously, this is what you do
Speaker 2: when you promote your New York Times bestselling book. But
Speaker 2: her whole point was to help other people, to show
Speaker 2: other people that there was a way out, that there
Speaker 2: was a light at the end of the tunnel, and
Speaker 2: to hear like I just she was just on Jay
Speaker 2: Shetty's podcast. This is one of her last public interviews.
Speaker 2: And this is so chilling. Now, this is one of
Speaker 2: her final statements, she said, I finally feel like I've
Speaker 2: shaken off all of this darkness and this negativity, and
Speaker 2: that means I've closed one door and another is open.
Speaker 2: She said she could feel the exciting possibilities. I feel
Speaker 2: like I have a lot more life to live. I
Speaker 2: wonder if by writing this book and talking about how
Speaker 2: there's hope and how she'd overcome, if maybe somehow a
Speaker 2: setback was just too much. At that point, she'd already
Speaker 2: publicly said I've gotten through the tough times. I've made
Speaker 2: it past this darkness. I'm now in the light, and
Speaker 2: then maybe just putting that out there publicly and then
Speaker 2: having some sort of setback just was too much to face,
Speaker 2: too much to bear.
Speaker 3: We have no idea.
Speaker 1: We just have no idea what was going on in
Speaker 1: her life at this particular moment that led to this,
Speaker 1: And we do not have a cause of death.
Speaker 3: So yeah, folks will right now.
Speaker 1: This is just this is a tragedy the extent to
Speaker 1: which we don't quite know. We don't we know what
Speaker 1: her life was was. I don't know what her life
Speaker 1: is because by all accounts, it where it should have
Speaker 1: been is a place that didn't result in this. So
Speaker 1: what was there an event that triggered it? What happened?
Speaker 1: We just don't know.
Speaker 2: And to your point, when we come back, we will
Speaker 2: talk about all the stars, all the people who worked
Speaker 2: with her, who loved her, who have reacted online, and
Speaker 2: most of them have reacted with absolute shock. Welcome back
Speaker 2: everyone to Amy and TJ. We mentioned that her father,
Speaker 2: Hayden Panetier's father is the one who announced her death,
Speaker 2: and I think maybe we should read his statement just
Speaker 2: so you can hear. And the family did ask for privacy,
Speaker 2: as you might imagine, but he wrote, it is with
Speaker 2: profound sadness that we share the tragic passing of our
Speaker 2: beloved Hayden. She was an incredible light and a force
Speaker 2: of names who brought immeasurable love and joy to all
Speaker 2: who knew her and the millions who watched her on screen.
Speaker 2: And I don't know if you've read or seen any
Speaker 2: of the comments. Just as people are waking up or
Speaker 2: just finding out about her death, but literally everyone is saying,
Speaker 2: this can't be real. I love you, don't be gone.
Speaker 2: Please say this isn't true. I mean, we're talking about
Speaker 2: Selma Blair. David Arquette Biola Davis, Kelly Osborne. It just
Speaker 2: everyone who worked with her, loved her, knew her. They're
Speaker 2: all saying, wait, how is this possible. I just spoke
Speaker 2: with you, things were going well, I mean, and someone
Speaker 2: even saying I should have known, I didn't. I'm so
Speaker 2: sorry for every moment I didn't reach out or I
Speaker 2: didn't check in. And this is what often happens with
Speaker 2: these types of situations. People always wonder what they could
Speaker 2: have done differently.
Speaker 1: Well, here's your answer. Don't ever hesitate when somebody's on
Speaker 1: your mind to reach out. I learned to live by
Speaker 1: that in the past several years. But under if somebody
Speaker 1: crosses your mind, send a note. If they don't write back,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter that you shouldn't need it. I just know
Speaker 1: how it feels on the other end to be in
Speaker 1: a desperate situation and that phone buzzes and to see
Speaker 1: somebody just gives a damn to reach out to say hi.
Speaker 1: It makes a difference. So I'll keep preaching that robes
Speaker 1: don't ever hesitate. There's some people listening now, friends of ours,
Speaker 1: who are laughing because they've gotten that message. For me,
Speaker 1: at some point in the past five years, didn't want
Speaker 1: to think cross my mind, and didn't want to pass
Speaker 1: up an opportunity to say hello, hope you're good.
Speaker 3: Send that message all the time.
Speaker 2: And that's how you have no regrets, because yes, people
Speaker 2: do need to know that people care. And it did
Speaker 2: appear that so many people loved her. I do look back, though,
Speaker 2: you start to look at her resume, and it really
Speaker 2: is you can't imagine how it wouldn't take a toll
Speaker 2: on somebody to just be constantly working. I mean, it
Speaker 2: wasn't just like she had a few roles here and there.
Speaker 2: I mean it was she and by all accounts, remarkably talented,
Speaker 2: highly intelligent, and super efffescent and bubbly. And it's just
Speaker 2: so sad to think that because and you see this
Speaker 2: in so many tragic cases. I even think about someone
Speaker 2: like Whitney Houston. When you have someone who's so talented,
Speaker 2: who's such a hard worker, who is constantly working, and
Speaker 2: their art is everywhere, and somehow it's almost as if
Speaker 2: they've been taken advantage of, they've been used, they've been
Speaker 2: a pawn in the entertainment industry, and they ultimately pay
Speaker 2: with their own lives in the most tragic of ways.
Speaker 2: And it does kind of feel like this is one
Speaker 2: of those cases.
Speaker 1: Okay, we all very curious to know what happened, given
Speaker 1: that she seemed to be doing so well, very curious
Speaker 1: to know what happened. But for the time being, I
Speaker 1: mean we she stretched enough, she touched I guess enough
Speaker 1: variety of art robes that she made something that I'm
Speaker 1: interested in, that I was a fan of, that, you
Speaker 1: were a fan of that, your daughters were a fan
Speaker 1: of that, my daughter was a fan of and just
Speaker 1: it's go mean. And even though she was didn't have
Speaker 1: a starring role, she was in remember the type I
Speaker 1: was just going to say that one, even that, right,
Speaker 1: she has just been a part of some bitty, pretty
Speaker 1: big I guess, cultural moments and very popular films in
Speaker 1: that way.
Speaker 2: Until Dawn. We just watched that one recently, until Don
Speaker 2: that horror movie she was in so good. Obviously we
Speaker 2: love Scream four, in Scream six and her last film
Speaker 2: we haven't seen it, Sleepwalker. It's a psychological thriller, but
Speaker 2: that was out in January. So yeah, she was working
Speaker 2: the entire time. She was going through some debilitating personal
Speaker 2: issues that so many people have faced. Just one of
Speaker 2: those crises that she went through would be enough to
Speaker 2: bring people or bring someone to the brink. She had
Speaker 2: just tragedy after tragedy after tragedy, and ultimately now we
Speaker 2: all wake up to this awful news and we just
Speaker 2: we wish the best for those who knew her, loved her,
Speaker 2: her family. This has got to just be so devasitting.
Speaker 2: I think about her family who lost their son to
Speaker 2: a just an unexpected heart failure at twenty and now
Speaker 2: they've lost their daughter, both of their they were there
Speaker 2: each other's only siblings, So I just I feel for
Speaker 2: that family. It's uh, it's beyond tragic. But wanted to
Speaker 2: put this on your radar and I'm sure we'll get
Speaker 2: a lot more information in the days to come about
Speaker 2: what led up to her untimely death. And with that, everyone,
Speaker 2: we always appreciate you listening to us. I'm Amy Roboch
Speaker 2: alongside TJ. Holmes. We'll talk soon.