Speaker 1: Wind Down Kraler Michael and Radio podcast. Good morning everybody,
Speaker 1: or afternoon or evening or whenever you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: But it's Janna Kramer and Michael Cosson for another episode
Speaker 1: of wine Down. Jannah Cosson, Hey, Team Cosses all about
Speaker 1: the team. What's going on? Boo you good? I'm great?
Speaker 1: How are you good? I had to take the monitor
Speaker 1: away from you before we recorded this because you're gonna
Speaker 1: be looking at the whole time again. Yeah, where'd it go? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You go. Jason is doing better though. He's doing so good,
Speaker 1: so good. He's not screaming at night any more, which
Speaker 1: is amazing. He's not throwing his love and Wabbi and
Speaker 1: he's back to doing that really cute thing like every
Speaker 1: time I put him in his crib, he'll stand up
Speaker 1: and then give me a kiss and then he'll lay
Speaker 1: back down and like he like watched you walk out
Speaker 1: of the room. Yeah, but he doesn't like throw the
Speaker 1: love and Wabbi at you, and his naps aren't great. Um.
Speaker 1: But a Llana who's the good night sleep coach that
Speaker 1: um we talked about two episodes ago. Yeah, she's um.
Speaker 1: I've been texting her and she's been you know, just
Speaker 1: like keep on it. Like sometimes naps can be the
Speaker 1: one like a little bit harder, but I mean he's
Speaker 1: been given us at least forty five minutes to an hour,
Speaker 1: So I'll take it. I'll take anything. The only like
Speaker 1: she even said to She's like, don't worry about the
Speaker 1: the amount of time he slept. It's about just the
Speaker 1: quiet time of him in his crib, which I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not stressed. She's as long as he's not like
Speaker 1: screaming the entire time, and he's just is he just
Speaker 1: chilling there? And I'm like, yeah, he's just he's not crying.
Speaker 1: So that's been as long as he's not crying. It's
Speaker 1: the crying that gets me. Oh yeah, that wears us down.
Speaker 1: That's what yesterday when you're going and I was here
Speaker 1: during his nap and it was like he woke up
Speaker 1: after forty five minutes, but he was just chilling. It
Speaker 1: wasn't until the last wasn't ntil the last ten that
Speaker 1: you started crying. And so I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: that's good. Yeah he's chilling. No, that's really good. And
Speaker 1: then a lot of people on our Instagram say our
Speaker 1: Instagram's on my Instagram, I should just like rebrand it
Speaker 1: Creamer and Mike girl, Like, how do I say Cramer
Speaker 1: and Mike. I don't know, Cramer Girl, Cramer Boy, Cramer kids.
Speaker 1: But I had not like backlash on the I s R.
Speaker 1: But like, because I posted the video of Jace the
Speaker 1: swimming not being able to he has I posted the
Speaker 1: one video of him um where they were holding him up,
Speaker 1: and then I posted the one of him jumping off
Speaker 1: the diving boar or h then sorry correction, being thrown
Speaker 1: off the diving board. And you know, he's not there yet,
Speaker 1: but he will be, like I think by the end
Speaker 1: of this week, he'll he'll have it. Takes you a
Speaker 1: little bit longer for that age. But it was so
Speaker 1: hard and you weren't You weren't able to go because
Speaker 1: he had a meeting. But I went to I saw
Speaker 1: jolly dooit and she did great, she did amazing. You know,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, she's finally not relying on her
Speaker 1: floaties and she's proud of it, and she's so proud
Speaker 1: of it, which is like makes me so happy, but
Speaker 1: but also a little like a crap. Now we have
Speaker 1: to really watch her in the pool. Really watch her.
Speaker 1: She's a little over confident. Overconfident for sure. So now
Speaker 1: it's like, dang, now we can't go back to the floaties,
Speaker 1: which was like our babysitter in a way. Um well
Speaker 1: know we were always outside of correct, not twisted, um no.
Speaker 1: But so you know, Jollie did it, and so then
Speaker 1: I went to go get Jason. I'm like, is he done?
Speaker 1: And they're like, oh no, he's going off the diving
Speaker 1: board and I was like, um what huh? And so
Speaker 1: I had my friend Linda there with me and I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't watch it, so I'm going to
Speaker 1: turn away, but I want you to record it because
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watched it. She recorded it, but then when
Speaker 1: I heard the splash, I turned around. Then I was like,
Speaker 1: roll over, roll over, Chase, And you know, he didn't
Speaker 1: get it, and obviously they like corrected him and helped him.
Speaker 1: But you know a lot of people are like, how
Speaker 1: could you throw your kid in the water? And that
Speaker 1: seems a little rough, and for some people it is.
Speaker 1: And that's why I like our swim or the I
Speaker 1: s R. Teacher that's teaching this class is he's like,
Speaker 1: I might not be your guy, if you want someone
Speaker 1: to be like your kids aren't here to just play
Speaker 1: splichy splashy, especially as what he said, He's like, if
Speaker 1: you're here to play sp if you want me to
Speaker 1: play splichy splashy with your kids, Like I ain't you guy.
Speaker 1: He's like, you can't leave right now. Yeah. He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna cattle. I'm not gonna hold him, like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, you're fine. And he's like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to teach him how to survive. Yeah, And he's
Speaker 1: like what was he saying the other stuff? He was
Speaker 1: like like he said the floaties were the worst thing
Speaker 1: you could ever do to your kids, Which I'm like, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: pat on my back, bad mom. But I think it's
Speaker 1: one of those things where I started to really do research.
Speaker 1: And you know, we've known people that have not known people,
Speaker 1: but I've seen stories and especially the you know, the
Speaker 1: sweet so many kids and they say say they say
Speaker 1: over childhood deaths are in the back or drownings are
Speaker 1: in your swimming pool, and as a pool owner and
Speaker 1: as a mom, like that's terrifying. So I was like, crap,
Speaker 1: we have to and like my biggest fear is even
Speaker 1: though we have a a cover that they could stand
Speaker 1: on and be fine, it's still scary. It is, it
Speaker 1: really is. And I think we've been We've done a
Speaker 1: great job. I mean, being hyper vigilant in keeping it
Speaker 1: closed at all times, you know, if it's not we're
Speaker 1: out there and just never really taking our eyes off
Speaker 1: of them and taking that for granted. Because I can
Speaker 1: see why, right, people think they're comfortable with their own home. Yeah, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go in and do this real quick,
Speaker 1: I'll be right back or whatever. And it's thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: It takes thirty seconds. Yeah, so I get it. But
Speaker 1: so I would just it might be a little rough,
Speaker 1: but I will just say to the mom is out there,
Speaker 1: you know, to do the training. And I would say,
Speaker 1: I wish I would have done it earlier with Jay's
Speaker 1: like I wish I did it when he was a baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know Andy too because she's four, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know, it's one of those things like even
Speaker 1: though the teacher said, like the puddle jumpers, the floaty
Speaker 1: things are like the worst you can do. It's you
Speaker 1: do things in your time that's that's convenient for you.
Speaker 1: That's that you you know, that works with your schedule,
Speaker 1: that works with your beliefs, that works with what you
Speaker 1: want to do. So yeah, but the second we got
Speaker 1: a pool, that's why I was like, we have to
Speaker 1: get this kid. Yeah, was like walking and able to
Speaker 1: open the door. I was like, and we're going to
Speaker 1: lessons to survive, especially once he started being a little
Speaker 1: velociraptor and opening the doors. Yeah, now that he can
Speaker 1: open the doors, I'm like, Okay, yes, the gate is
Speaker 1: technically closed, but like what if And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just don't want to play any of those things. So
Speaker 1: I'm sorry if people had a hard time looking at it,
Speaker 1: because trust me, it wasn't easy for this MoMA either.
Speaker 1: But but it's in his survival skills. Yeah. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: we just got off a call for our book. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, talking about out like our virtual book tour
Speaker 1: and how the pre sales are going and all of that,
Speaker 1: and we're very taken back by the response that a
Speaker 1: lot of our followers, um, you know, have come through
Speaker 1: and pre ordered the book. So if you haven't yet,
Speaker 1: you won't be left down. It's gonna be amazing. We're
Speaker 1: working on some exclusive content like a private Facebook group
Speaker 1: if you pre order, where we'll jump on their um,
Speaker 1: you know what, every day or at least once a
Speaker 1: week or something like that. We're gonna work out the
Speaker 1: schedule and be posting that stuff. But there's definitely gonna
Speaker 1: be a lot of incentive out there for preordering. So
Speaker 1: maybe even a song, I guess, yeah, go to uh yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe even a song. Who knows um and Mike dot com,
Speaker 1: Jan and Mike dot com, go get your book and
Speaker 1: let's say a quick break. And so we have an
Speaker 1: awesome guest joining the show today, Nikki Hilton. Did you
Speaker 1: ever watch, by the way, the Paris Hilton Show with
Speaker 1: Sofia m Yeah, man, that was like high school. I
Speaker 1: feel like that was the o G of reality shows.
Speaker 1: It was one had to be one of them for sure.
Speaker 1: I love I mean, I know Nikki wasn't on the show,
Speaker 1: but I always loved how Nikki just always seemed very
Speaker 1: not that Paris wasn't, but Nikki always just seemed very classy. Well,
Speaker 1: Paris has just had her own stretch of bad publicity,
Speaker 1: so did she Yeah, just you know, being I guess
Speaker 1: I don't really remember intoxicated or you know, sex tape
Speaker 1: leaking out and stuff like that. So, I mean, but
Speaker 1: look at the Kardashians Award for her Kim Kardashian was
Speaker 1: actually Paris Hilton's assistant. I remember that wardrobe sold her
Speaker 1: wardrobe Now, I mean no, But Nikki has a new
Speaker 1: shoe line out, so we're excited to talk to her.
Speaker 1: And she's married with two kids, and so we'll dive
Speaker 1: into deep what she's going on during her quarantine family life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we'll see. How's everything with you? Great? I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm excited about what we're doing. I'm you have a
Speaker 1: movie coming up? Why, I don't want to say anything yet.
Speaker 1: Potential movie coming up, potential that if it goes through,
Speaker 1: Jane's trying to get me to play a part in it,
Speaker 1: which should be fantastic. It would be so fun. But
Speaker 1: you're you're too cute. You're too cute for like I
Speaker 1: just don't think you could get their role because you're
Speaker 1: just too good looking. But I look like your co
Speaker 1: stars friend. And the only thing is, I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's actually going to happen because with everything COVID,
Speaker 1: I feel like I have massive PTSD from The Canada
Speaker 1: Adventure where it's like you book a movie just kidding
Speaker 1: one scene and we're taking everything you need, don't get
Speaker 1: paid goodbye. It's like, but no, I mean, I hope.
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to stay positive. It's just been it's
Speaker 1: a little hard to stay positive when I feel like
Speaker 1: certain things are kind of being taken from you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's tough. I mean I might have said this on
Speaker 1: here before, at least with a group of our friends,
Speaker 1: where I was like, has some high expectations, like people
Speaker 1: are going to have their their expectations through the roof
Speaker 1: because of the way this year has gone so well.
Speaker 1: It's interesting. My therapist she sent me this quote. For
Speaker 1: so long, you've tried to see the positive. You have
Speaker 1: tried to keep a good balance between being a realist
Speaker 1: and an optimist. You knew the future was lined with unknowns,
Speaker 1: but you also had this hope maybe this was finally
Speaker 1: going to be your year. I mean, how many times
Speaker 1: have we looked in the new year? By the way,
Speaker 1: this is unquote if like when you start a new year,
Speaker 1: you're like, this is okay, this is gonna be my
Speaker 1: year because last year this happened, and this happened, so
Speaker 1: now this is going to be my year. Have you
Speaker 1: ever had that? Do you guys not think that way?
Speaker 1: Because I know girls do, Like you know me, I've
Speaker 1: cried for the first five years of my New Year's
Speaker 1: because I'm like, it's not what I thought it would be.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if it's a guy thing.
Speaker 1: I know, for me, I don't. I don't put that
Speaker 1: much weight into New Year's like I know a lot
Speaker 1: of people do, but I should never have. I've never
Speaker 1: been like this is the start of my year. I
Speaker 1: think it's you know, in my professional career, it's been
Speaker 1: like the end of my year, and so my timeline
Speaker 1: was always a little different because i was like working sometimes,
Speaker 1: I was working sometimes. The last week of this season
Speaker 1: wasn't until after New Year's. So it's like I'm in
Speaker 1: the middle of working towards the tail end of working.
Speaker 1: My year is just ending, like I'm getting ready to
Speaker 1: like shut it down for a little bit, you know,
Speaker 1: as opposed to like new you knew me, like I'm
Speaker 1: starting over. It's like, no, I'm gonna lay on the
Speaker 1: couch for like three weeks, you know, and the rest
Speaker 1: of my body. So I've just I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: that's part of it. Where you know, those middle five
Speaker 1: years or five six years that I was in that
Speaker 1: world really kind of changed my mindset on it. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Um, by the way, that was from
Speaker 1: Morgan Harper Nichols. And she basically goes on to finish
Speaker 1: it by saying, um, you know, uh, the year of
Speaker 1: things that you know, your year the year things finally
Speaker 1: fell in place theory, you finally stepped out of your
Speaker 1: comfort zone to embrace new unknowns. You had a passionate vision,
Speaker 1: you had a plan for how things could go. So
Speaker 1: she goes on to all these things, and then she
Speaker 1: goes here's the thing. These are questions you might have
Speaker 1: to sit with for a little while. And this is
Speaker 1: also true. It's worth it to keep trying to make
Speaker 1: the most of where you are, trusting that right here
Speaker 1: this July, you can still know a meaningful life even
Speaker 1: though it's not what you thought it was going to
Speaker 1: look like. You can keep seeking goodness and everyday life.
Speaker 1: Even if it's hard to think positively about the future.
Speaker 1: You can still try to make the most of where
Speaker 1: you are with music, conversations, writing, nature, and knowing the
Speaker 1: future will arrive when it is meant to arrive. And
Speaker 1: for now you have this moment. It's not what you
Speaker 1: thought it would be. But perhaps the end of July
Speaker 1: can be its own kind of beautiful. Perhaps you can
Speaker 1: only be here right now and that's okay. I love that.
Speaker 1: I absolutely love that, because that's what I'll saying in
Speaker 1: my head is why wait until January for it to
Speaker 1: be like a fresh start on something? Why wait till
Speaker 1: the new year to start something you've always wanted to do,
Speaker 1: you know? And I bring that up because I feel
Speaker 1: like we're halfway to the new year and I feel
Speaker 1: like people might be I mean, shoot, I had that
Speaker 1: mindset like, well, maybe we should wait to put our
Speaker 1: book out because you know, we're gonna miss doing the
Speaker 1: book tour, we're gonna miss doing this. Like but it's like,
Speaker 1: why pause things because it might not look the way
Speaker 1: it's supposed to. And my friend Mallory Irwin, who's so sweet,
Speaker 1: she was like, are you gonna be able to go
Speaker 1: on a book dor And I'm like no, and she's like, man,
Speaker 1: She's like, I know you were so excited about that.
Speaker 1: She's like, but maybe there's going to be some beautiful
Speaker 1: thing within the the stuff that you know you're able
Speaker 1: to do at home, and I was just like, I
Speaker 1: love you things for the optimism, you know, and that
Speaker 1: helps too, But I think that's I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: just something to maybe like introspectively look inside of you
Speaker 1: and go, Okay, what am I pausing on in my
Speaker 1: life right now? And how can I how can I
Speaker 1: unpause this? Like but this uncertainty because like even like
Speaker 1: with the movie or with maybe what with what you
Speaker 1: want to do? Mike, it's like you're afraid to almost
Speaker 1: be positive because you're like it will it be taken away? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But to not stop either way, I guess it's the point. No.
Speaker 1: I love that, and I appreciate you sharing that, and
Speaker 1: I think everyone we'll appreciate you sharing that because it
Speaker 1: is it is eye opening just to make the most
Speaker 1: of the day. And like you said, why wait, like
Speaker 1: why put something off when you can do it now?
Speaker 1: And yeah, I love it? So what are you putting
Speaker 1: off that you would want to start now? Um? Two
Speaker 1: things that have actually been on my mind a lot recently.
Speaker 1: One is I mean I feel like everybody in there,
Speaker 1: cousin is there, really wants to get their real estate
Speaker 1: license these days. But you know, you and I have
Speaker 1: talked about a little bit. Nick car Rioder has talked
Speaker 1: about a talk to us about me doing it a
Speaker 1: little bit. Yes, he hasn't mentioned it. Yeah, I thought
Speaker 1: he'd be upset about it. I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to mend it to Catherine. No, he's mentioned it
Speaker 1: because he's like to have kind of like a partner
Speaker 1: in things. Um. But I think for us, with what
Speaker 1: we want to do in the future, with you know,
Speaker 1: our money and like finances, investments, it would just make
Speaker 1: sense to have it, you know. Um. Yeah, So that's
Speaker 1: one thing that I'm like, why wait, you know, this
Speaker 1: is the perfect time where we're not traveling. We don't
Speaker 1: have these shortened weeks because if we have to go
Speaker 1: somewhere or do this or do that. It's like I can, yeah,
Speaker 1: we don't have as much help with the kids, but
Speaker 1: I can set aside time where it's an hour or
Speaker 1: two during that time of day or whatever. Oh do
Speaker 1: you think you could instead of taking my two hour lunches?
Speaker 1: I don't know. But that's but I don't ask. I
Speaker 1: don't say that from a um from a snarky place.
Speaker 1: I say that from a place like that's what you
Speaker 1: need for sure it is the longest time I was like, God,
Speaker 1: couldn't he be doing something else right now? But then
Speaker 1: I'm like, just because I choose to spend my two
Speaker 1: hour break doing certain things that might seem more in
Speaker 1: someone else's mind like proactive, but that's how that's what
Speaker 1: fuels me, Like, that's what feeds me. And that's where
Speaker 1: I've kind of stopped to be like, no, like, that's
Speaker 1: your that's what you need for you to be centered, Yeah,
Speaker 1: to have something to strive forward. So I don't I'm
Speaker 1: afraid to take that like you shouldn't. I hope you
Speaker 1: don't take that away. No, not at all. Um. So
Speaker 1: that and then I just keep dragging my feet on
Speaker 1: learning French, come a flute into French. So yeah, So
Speaker 1: I think those are my two things just for this
Speaker 1: next six months to really take and uh, make the
Speaker 1: most of. I want to talk about a little bit
Speaker 1: more about that and how I can because I think
Speaker 1: it's important to help you, your your partner, what you
Speaker 1: can do to help. But let's pause on that because
Speaker 1: we have Nikki Hilton in the waiting room, so let's
Speaker 1: get her on. Hello, Hey, Hi, how are you. I'm
Speaker 1: Janna And this is my husband, Mike. I'm good. How
Speaker 1: are you great? We're good. We're just like surviving over here.
Speaker 1: How are you doing with the quarantine stuff? I'm in
Speaker 1: l A now. So I was in Long Island from
Speaker 1: let's see, March twelve to July one, so like lockdown
Speaker 1: and quarantine, and then I finally mustered up the strength
Speaker 1: to come to my family in l A. Which has
Speaker 1: been really how has it been with the kids during
Speaker 1: this time? Because your kids are how old? How old
Speaker 1: are they? Again? I have two and a half and
Speaker 1: almost four. How many do you guys have? So we
Speaker 1: have a four year old and we of an twenty
Speaker 1: month old. Okay, so very very similar. Yeah, so you
Speaker 1: guys were doing the homeschooling and all that, well, we
Speaker 1: tried to do the homeschooling for Jolie. We got to
Speaker 1: letter G and then I was like, I'm not meant
Speaker 1: to be a teacher. I don't have the patients. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, let's just go outside and do chalk or
Speaker 1: something because I can't do this. And you know, he
Speaker 1: was getting just as equally as frustrated as as I was,
Speaker 1: and so we kind of we pulled the plug on it.
Speaker 1: But because she dropped out of her fourth grade preschool class. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so we try we have Obviously, I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people are going to have a greater appreciation for
Speaker 1: teachers right through all of this. So yeah, once we
Speaker 1: got halfway through the alphabet, like, yeah, we weren't meant
Speaker 1: to be teachers, So let's just go play because that's
Speaker 1: our job. What did you do? What I ended up
Speaker 1: doing well boom School, which was brutal because it's all
Speaker 1: of the children and they're muted, and they're crying, and
Speaker 1: it's not there turn and they all want to do
Speaker 1: a twenty minute show and tell of their favorite whatever,
Speaker 1: and that was exhausting. So I ended up doing a
Speaker 1: mini camp on my lawn, which was amazing. Um, there
Speaker 1: was a few kids in the neighborhood that had all
Speaker 1: been quarantined and not left their house. So we got
Speaker 1: two teenagers from the neighborhood and did this little mini
Speaker 1: camp with like five or six children. We did arts
Speaker 1: and crabs, we did sports, and it was so much fun.
Speaker 1: That recommend Yeah, that's exactly what we're doing this fall
Speaker 1: for her. So we decided that we're going to potentially
Speaker 1: bring her back to two days and the other three,
Speaker 1: we're going to do that same thing where it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you're gonna do crafts over at Pamlin's house. You're gonna
Speaker 1: come here and we're gonna do you know, musical theater
Speaker 1: and then like and then we'll learn over here. So
Speaker 1: it's like we're gonna we're going to rotate too, because
Speaker 1: you know, it's just like they're at this at that age,
Speaker 1: it's like, let them have fun but also have experience too.
Speaker 1: So yes, and I would say that Disney plus Apps
Speaker 1: saved my life when they released Frozen too early. It
Speaker 1: was a very exciting day in our household patrols. We're
Speaker 1: on the cocoa melon. Are our old loves cocoa melon
Speaker 1: on YouTube? So it's like, yes, YouTube YouTube another godsend.
Speaker 1: No question, how is how do the kids feel? Did
Speaker 1: you the whole family go back to l A right now? Yes,
Speaker 1: we're all here. How do they feel? Being very nice
Speaker 1: because we're staying with my parents, um, and they have
Speaker 1: their own little room here and it's just nice for
Speaker 1: them to be with people other than my husband and I.
Speaker 1: By the way, speaking of since this is a relationship show,
Speaker 1: have have you guys? I mean do you normally spend
Speaker 1: a lot of time together or was the quarantine just
Speaker 1: like the first time you guys have spent so much
Speaker 1: time together. We both traveled quite a bit, um, but no,
Speaker 1: we spend a lot of time together. But this was
Speaker 1: a lot a lot of time. And I think most
Speaker 1: people can say that that was one of the silver
Speaker 1: linings because at what other point in your life are
Speaker 1: you going to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner with your
Speaker 1: family for a hundred plus consecutive days. And I think
Speaker 1: quarantine was actually great for our relationship. I keep reading
Speaker 1: all these statistics about divorce rates going through the roof, um,
Speaker 1: but I am very grateful. We didn't really butt heads.
Speaker 1: The largest fight we would have is what we're cooking
Speaker 1: for dinner that night. It was real, which by the way,
Speaker 1: is very exhausting. That's why I just kind of took
Speaker 1: it over. That's why he's the oh Mike, I am, Yes,
Speaker 1: my my husband too. Yeah. He I couldn't cook anything.
Speaker 1: I it's frozen pizzas or home chef. But you know
Speaker 1: this guy is he's he cooks everything. And then I
Speaker 1: just I clean. So I love to clean. That's that's
Speaker 1: what I like to do. What's funny is I think
Speaker 1: you know, with love languages, Jana isn't really an active service.
Speaker 1: But I think she realized that she's more of that
Speaker 1: because I hadn't seen her looked at me with so
Speaker 1: so much love when I told her what was for
Speaker 1: dinner without even asking, I was like, hey, I didn't
Speaker 1: say what do you want for dinner? I said this
Speaker 1: is what's for dinner today, this is what's for dinner tomorrow.
Speaker 1: She looked at me like I was her prince charming,
Speaker 1: like I don't have to decide or say anything. Yes,
Speaker 1: let's do it. Yes. Where do you guys live? We
Speaker 1: live in Nashville now. We used to live in l A.
Speaker 1: We just moved back to Nashville last year because with
Speaker 1: the kids to school. Yeah, really really good hiding on
Speaker 1: our behalf, but you know, it was just we we
Speaker 1: love Nashville, so it was it's nice to be back
Speaker 1: here for sure for the kids. Nikki. For you, has
Speaker 1: work at all been inhibited because of all this quarantine
Speaker 1: or have you been able to be creative and kind
Speaker 1: of come up with new things during this time? Um?
Speaker 1: I mean it's definitely challenging to even be able to
Speaker 1: do work. To even be able to do this right
Speaker 1: now without my kids rushing in and screaming, is you know,
Speaker 1: quite a miracle. Um. But have I been creative? Yes? Yes.
Speaker 1: I think what I've learned from my friends also is
Speaker 1: that so many people are trying to be creative in
Speaker 1: the sense of pivoting what they're going to do? What's
Speaker 1: the next step? Um? Because so many jobs occupations are
Speaker 1: just not possible right now, so everyone's tempting to pivot.
Speaker 1: Is that when you started the shoe, how long even
Speaker 1: been working on your shoe line for I've been doing
Speaker 1: the shoes for like two years now, and amazingly, the
Speaker 1: shoes sales have been doing pretty well all things considered,
Speaker 1: because I think they are the ideal working from home shoe.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've seen the collection, but it's
Speaker 1: lots of like cheek loafers, ballet flats. It's home. None
Speaker 1: of us are wearing heels anytime soon. Is that what
Speaker 1: inspired this specific line was because just everyone's at home
Speaker 1: so much right now. I think, just becoming a mother,
Speaker 1: I live in ballet flats. I just think they're comfy, chic,
Speaker 1: and you know, a better alternative than a sneaker and
Speaker 1: so I've just warned them forever. But I've really embraced
Speaker 1: them these past few months because I'm not one of
Speaker 1: those girls who wants to walk round and slippers. I
Speaker 1: don't know, putting on a proper shoe makes them to
Speaker 1: feel a little human during this no one where can
Speaker 1: um where can people actually shot for the shoes too? Um?
Speaker 1: There are my website Nicki, Hilton dot com or Zappos
Speaker 1: and it's yeah, it is your second collection with French Soul.
Speaker 1: Um But yes, it does say the first ever venture
Speaker 1: into the footwear business. But that's not true, then is it?
Speaker 1: Because it's your second collection. I've been doing design since
Speaker 1: some seventeen. I started doing handbags and then got into clothing, jewels,
Speaker 1: um so, but I've never done footwear, so the French
Speaker 1: Soul collab was my first. I'm really enjoying that. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: Have you had a hard time though? I know Mike
Speaker 1: and I were talking about this, and we knew that
Speaker 1: we were going to interview you, and you know, Mike
Speaker 1: brought up a good question, do you want to ask
Speaker 1: a bid? Oh? Yeah, I was. We were just wondering,
Speaker 1: you know, with some one with a family like yours,
Speaker 1: right do you did you find it beneficial but also
Speaker 1: difficult in order to break away from from that name
Speaker 1: in order to build your own brand or is it
Speaker 1: still beneficial at the same time, like kind of where
Speaker 1: was that relationship? I mean, I would say it's a
Speaker 1: double ledged sword. Your name can certainly open doors, but
Speaker 1: ultimately the product speaks for itself. And especially in this
Speaker 1: day and age, a store, um, a retailer is not
Speaker 1: going to stop your product if it's not moving. So
Speaker 1: that name can only take you so far. This is,
Speaker 1: you know, a business and if you're not moving, sure
Speaker 1: you're not going to be carried. What do you want
Speaker 1: to be like go into next after this? Is there
Speaker 1: something that like you're like, like why am I not
Speaker 1: doing this project? Because we're kind of talking about earlier
Speaker 1: before you came on, things that were pausing in our
Speaker 1: life that we have that we're kind of dragging our
Speaker 1: feet on. I would love to get into children's wear. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love. I know that sounds a bit cliche. It's
Speaker 1: not because there's not many places and it's frustrating because
Speaker 1: whenever I look, I don't have a really hard time
Speaker 1: finding like I'll find one piece of clothing there, one
Speaker 1: piece of clothing there, But it's nothing where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can buy from one real site unless I just
Speaker 1: go to Carter's. But you know, I not that anything's
Speaker 1: wrong with Carter's, but I just would like, you know,
Speaker 1: to find it different with other cool things, so that
Speaker 1: that my kid isn't wearing the same thing as Like, yes,
Speaker 1: Like I dropped Jolly off one day and I'm like,
Speaker 1: it was a Target. I think it was a Target
Speaker 1: shirt and three other girls were wearing her same shirt,
Speaker 1: and I was like, which is really cute. It's so cute.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm like, please, please, please, please do that
Speaker 1: because I would love to be able to have somewhere
Speaker 1: else to shop where I can shop for for all
Speaker 1: different kinds of clothes for my kids. Yeah. I did
Speaker 1: a Mommy and Me collab a few years ago with
Speaker 1: this brand with dresses and tops matching with the mommy.
Speaker 1: That's really the only thing I've done in children. But
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just I think people love dressing
Speaker 1: up their children, and if you do it um at
Speaker 1: a good price point, at good quality. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I think there's room for for more brands. Speaking on that,
Speaker 1: have you enjoyed dressing your daughter or your son more?
Speaker 1: Oh I'm so I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Your
Speaker 1: girl know her name is Theodora, but we call her Teddy,
Speaker 1: so that's a fair mistake. Um. I love dressing them up.
Speaker 1: They love dressing up, and they know I like when
Speaker 1: they wear pretty dresses. So they will just run in
Speaker 1: my room all dressed up every morning, all excited to
Speaker 1: show off what they're wearing. Joli had a face where
Speaker 1: she only wore dresses with scream if she scream if
Speaker 1: she had to wear anything other than dresses. Yeah, really
Speaker 1: hid her dresses. I know we had two at one point,
Speaker 1: but now we just embrace it. Are you a Frozen family? Oh?
Speaker 1: One present like she sings, let it go all the
Speaker 1: freaking time like it's and then Frozen two. I mean
Speaker 1: it's it was game over with that one, and that
Speaker 1: soundtracked is so good. So yeah, it's awesome. But all right,
Speaker 1: everyone go to Nikki Hilton dot com get her awesome
Speaker 1: shoes with her collab from French Soul. Nikki Hilton, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for coming on. We really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys. Okay, so, oh, she's so sweet. I
Speaker 1: feel like she's just like a very chill, cool girl.
Speaker 1: And now that our kids are the same age, like
Speaker 1: we're basically best best friends, just like me and Melissa
Speaker 1: Gorga your best friends with everybody. Well, I wasn't the
Speaker 1: other day. We won't bring that story up. But sometimes
Speaker 1: I can be a little sarcastic and I think I've
Speaker 1: to someone, but I can own up and apologize even
Speaker 1: though anyways, anyways, anyways, um do do we should we
Speaker 1: say what happened by the way, or no, we don't
Speaker 1: have to know. You don't want to No, not that
Speaker 1: what happened right before we started recording? Or now sure
Speaker 1: you want to Yeah I don't remember you know what
Speaker 1: happened like thirty minutes ago? Oh yeah, oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: go ahead, so we don't have to know, let's do it. No,
Speaker 1: no, no no, because I don't wan people think I'm like dragging,
Speaker 1: like no, this was so long ago, this was like
Speaker 1: a little different, but not really bring it up. Well,
Speaker 1: right before we started recording, I was like, I got
Speaker 1: this text message from and I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: her name obviously, from anonymous. From anonymous she texted me
Speaker 1: and I was like, what I was like trying to like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, who is this person? Like what like the name?
Speaker 1: I was like oh, and Mike's like what And I
Speaker 1: was like, that's the first girl that you cheated on
Speaker 1: me with when we were dating. Because she was a
Speaker 1: fan of mine and Instagram fan, and she had reached
Speaker 1: out to me on Instagram and we in a way
Speaker 1: became friends. It was kind of weird, like we had
Speaker 1: this friendship in a way, UM, and she had been
Speaker 1: in a few relationships and so she texted me and
Speaker 1: I haven't really read it yet, but she basically it's
Speaker 1: been a long time since we talked, but she just
Speaker 1: wanted to say thank you and tell you how strong
Speaker 1: and inspiring both you and Mike have been. I came
Speaker 1: across your podcast recently and I've been listening to it
Speaker 1: to help me through my marriage and sharing it with
Speaker 1: my husband. Still carrying on six years of certain things.
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to share those details, but like
Speaker 1: she had confided in me about out some things that
Speaker 1: we're going on, UM, and you know, some things have
Speaker 1: clicked in their relationship, and you know, She's like, I
Speaker 1: thought it was ironic to come across your book coming out,
Speaker 1: So maybe you know even more that it can help us.
Speaker 1: She was, I'm so happy for you and Mike. Um
Speaker 1: as happy as you are and have overcome all the struggle,
Speaker 1: it really still gives me hope that we can do
Speaker 1: it too, So thank you for being so real and
Speaker 1: putting it out there. It helps more than you know.
Speaker 1: And I obviously just got it. And I haven't texted
Speaker 1: her back, but I mean I haven't talked to her
Speaker 1: and probably a couple of years. I think we kind
Speaker 1: of stopped talking because of you know, the obvious. But
Speaker 1: it's weird how it's kind of that silver lining where
Speaker 1: even though like our lives, like maybe that had to happen.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying we like because certain things like maybe
Speaker 1: meeting me and you and like us and like than
Speaker 1: having it weave through her relation and ship Like yes,
Speaker 1: it was so traumatic when I found out when we
Speaker 1: were dating, but able we're able to now be like wow,
Speaker 1: like we've helped someone. I've been able to help someone.
Speaker 1: You've been able to help someone, You've been able to
Speaker 1: help her husband, You've been able you know. Where It's
Speaker 1: like that's just such a small such a small world,
Speaker 1: but but also such a beauty in it too. Beauty
Speaker 1: through pain. Yeah, no it is. And I mean I
Speaker 1: commend you for even being able to look at it
Speaker 1: that way. Well, there's certain people I wouldn't be able
Speaker 1: to know. I understand that. I think this. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is a little different to it in a sense, but
Speaker 1: still the fact that you're able to take something that
Speaker 1: was the start of pain between in our relationship and
Speaker 1: be able to look at it through the lens of well,
Speaker 1: maybe that was supposed to happen to for you know,
Speaker 1: for all of this, the positive, the positive things that
Speaker 1: have come out of some of this to happen. Obviously
Speaker 1: we wish we could go back and I should redo it,
Speaker 1: of course. Um, but no, that's that's encouraging though. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's encouraging. And that's the thing I mean, I think
Speaker 1: in that situation too, it's just knowing that. And I
Speaker 1: will say this too, because a lot of people, I
Speaker 1: know something, when we talked about our four you talked
Speaker 1: about it. I didn't even bring it up. I just
Speaker 1: think that right now. But when you were doing like
Speaker 1: Monday and you brought up our four year discovery day,
Speaker 1: you know, that got picked up or whatever, and a
Speaker 1: lot of people are like, why would you celebrate that?
Speaker 1: And I did say something to someone. I was like,
Speaker 1: it's we're not celebrating um this anniversary. What we're doing
Speaker 1: is we're recognizing it, we're acknowledging it, and we're also
Speaker 1: you know, and and we're also saying like wow, like
Speaker 1: look how far we've come from even just last year
Speaker 1: and then the year before that. And then like it's
Speaker 1: not about because the thing is you're not going to
Speaker 1: forget the date. You're not going to forget certain you know,
Speaker 1: do you forget your wedding date? No, like you remember
Speaker 1: certain dates that impact your life, whether good or bad.
Speaker 1: And I think you know someone else is like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, would you stop talking about it already? Well,
Speaker 1: here's the deal. This is our you know, we're dragging
Speaker 1: Mike through the mud. And I'm like, A he brought
Speaker 1: it up. I was not going to say anything. But
Speaker 1: when you shared about it, I was like, okay, Like
Speaker 1: that's amazing that he shared that, because you know I was,
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to and then when you shared it
Speaker 1: as when I put that post, and it's not about
Speaker 1: dragging anybody through the mud. What it is and just
Speaker 1: like with that text message, it's about acknowledging growth and
Speaker 1: acknowledging like how we can help other people like this
Speaker 1: is our podcast as we talk about things that we've
Speaker 1: learned and how we're still learning. We talk about things
Speaker 1: that are uncomfortable because of what we've been through. So
Speaker 1: exactly to your point, it's it was brought up to
Speaker 1: acknowledge the growth, and that's what we want to inspire
Speaker 1: other couples that have been through difficult situations, whether the
Speaker 1: same as we have or similar. Is how you can
Speaker 1: find that silver lining. Just kind of what you're talking
Speaker 1: about with the text messages how to look for positivity
Speaker 1: so that date or that moment or that physical place
Speaker 1: or trigger doesn't have to affect you with the same
Speaker 1: amount of magnitude that it did from the first day
Speaker 1: two years later, you know. So it's anyone who clearly
Speaker 1: people saying that either even if they've been through that
Speaker 1: something like that, they still have a lot of pain
Speaker 1: and shame around it, or they haven't been through it,
Speaker 1: because anyone who has could understand and appreciate how much
Speaker 1: they would like to probably get to the point where
Speaker 1: they can just acknowledge it and connect over it. And
Speaker 1: again we would not bring it up all the time,
Speaker 1: but we are on the platform that we do bring
Speaker 1: it up because it's part of part of our it's
Speaker 1: part of our story. Yeah, it is part of what
Speaker 1: we do. It's part of how to help. It's just like,
Speaker 1: do you want to get a tattoo from someone who
Speaker 1: doesn't have any tattoos? Probably not? Do you want to
Speaker 1: take read a relationship book on a relationship with by
Speaker 1: someone who hasn't been through? Probably not. So we've been through.
Speaker 1: I'm dragging you through the mud? Am I dragging you
Speaker 1: through the mud? I brought it up. People are silly
Speaker 1: well anyways, so yes, um back to the French into
Speaker 1: the how can I help you in getting to your goal? Um?
Speaker 1: Great question? Thank you? But I asked that because I
Speaker 1: think that's something where we have to act like we're
Speaker 1: whoever's listening. That's what you should ask your partner too, mhm,
Speaker 1: because they can't do it. I don't think they can
Speaker 1: do it alone. No. Two things that come up for me.
Speaker 1: The first one is just with my personality and I
Speaker 1: think maybe a guy in general puberty. Sorry, um that
Speaker 1: it has to be like my idea, right, like if
Speaker 1: you started asking me, hey, so when are you gonna
Speaker 1: study it there, Hey, when you're gonna do this today, Hey,
Speaker 1: do you need me to watch the kids so you
Speaker 1: can study? I'll be like, um, that would make me
Speaker 1: not want to do it's because I feel like you're
Speaker 1: being my mom, or I would make up that you're
Speaker 1: being passive and that you were wanting me to do it,
Speaker 1: and that if I didn't do it then then it
Speaker 1: would be an issue or it would be validating like
Speaker 1: that you don't get things done or whatever whatever. So
Speaker 1: that's the first thing. And second is when I do
Speaker 1: do it. When I do tell you ahead of time,
Speaker 1: say hey, from this time to this time, whether it's
Speaker 1: naptime or not, I'll try to do it during that time.
Speaker 1: But to say it's not for whatever reason, and I
Speaker 1: tell you ahead of time and say hey, from eight
Speaker 1: and nine I'm gonna study or whatever. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I'll probably do it during that time. But to treat
Speaker 1: it as work, where it's like, all right, I said
Speaker 1: for for this hour, I'm gonna study you. I'm going
Speaker 1: to respect what you need around it, right, So it's
Speaker 1: not like hey, can you come help me? Knowing that
Speaker 1: it's not quote unquote work, but I'm working towards something
Speaker 1: where it's not like, hey, can you come out here
Speaker 1: for a minute and help me? The kids have been crazy?
Speaker 1: Like yes, if it's everyone's going nuts and I need
Speaker 1: to come help, that I need to come help. But
Speaker 1: to treat it as such, to treat it as if
Speaker 1: I'm unavailable, because you know, if you just like you
Speaker 1: coming in the room, if you have to post something
Speaker 1: or whatever, if I let the kids keep coming in
Speaker 1: and out, you'd be like I asked for an hour
Speaker 1: or five minutes or whatever to do something and doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like your time is being respected. Makes sense? I
Speaker 1: like it. Do you have any emails? I had a
Speaker 1: really good one from wine Down, but don podcast you
Speaker 1: can get one thou take me a second? All right,
Speaker 1: here's one from Jessica. My question comes based on my
Speaker 1: experience with my longtime boyfriend. He has a pass up
Speaker 1: cheating on me with multiple people, even including a so
Speaker 1: called friend. We have worked through our issues mostly and
Speaker 1: much like Mike, he owns his mistakes and allows me
Speaker 1: to feel any and everything I feel. Recently, I heard
Speaker 1: you can't truly forgive until you've forgiven the other person
Speaker 1: the female. At first, I thought no way, but recently,
Speaker 1: I've been dreaming of a conversation with her in which
Speaker 1: she's apologizing and I'm accepting. Having that conversation in my
Speaker 1: sleep makes me feel like makes me feel like there's closure.
Speaker 1: It makes me wonder if I should reach out to her.
Speaker 1: Would you or have you ever done this? Do you
Speaker 1: think it would help or hurt any progress me and
Speaker 1: my boyfriend made have made in the last three years? Interesting?
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts? So when I read this email,
Speaker 1: it made me think of anyone who's familiar with twelve steps,
Speaker 1: made me think of step nine, which, for those of
Speaker 1: you don't know, I'll read Step nine and any twelve
Speaker 1: step program is make direct amends to such people wherever possible,
Speaker 1: except when to do so would injure them or others.
Speaker 1: Let me preface that by saying Step eight is make
Speaker 1: a list of all persons you have harmed and become
Speaker 1: willing to make amends. So step nine is making amends
Speaker 1: to the people that you've harmed unless to do so
Speaker 1: would injure them or others. Now obviously not physically injure them,
Speaker 1: but emotionally harm her or injure them. My thought on
Speaker 1: that is again kind of like I was saying with
Speaker 1: this the step work there is you'd have to be
Speaker 1: really careful on if communicating with that person is going
Speaker 1: to actually help your relationship or not. Because if Jessica,
Speaker 1: if she wants to reach out to the person that
Speaker 1: he cheated on her with, I mean, he's she said,
Speaker 1: multiple people, but the so called friend is the one
Speaker 1: that seems like it's really bothering her. And say that
Speaker 1: the so called friend doesn't apologize or isn't open to it,
Speaker 1: that's just gonna make things worse. So you're going in
Speaker 1: with these expectations that may not be met and then
Speaker 1: which will just set you up for failure. And then
Speaker 1: you don't know how that's gonna Even talk to this
Speaker 1: person in general might even bring up feelings, you know,
Speaker 1: triggered or old feelings that may put a wall between
Speaker 1: you and your boyfriend. So I don't know, it's just
Speaker 1: it's it's the nice I would say no, because the
Speaker 1: connection of moving forward is between you and your boyfriend,
Speaker 1: not anyone else. What are your thoughts? Don't do it? Yep,
Speaker 1: it's it makes it worse. I mean, I wish I
Speaker 1: could take back all the calls because it just makes
Speaker 1: it so much worse, and it drives a bigger wedge
Speaker 1: between you and your partner because there's things that you
Speaker 1: just you'll ask that you don't want to know, and
Speaker 1: it just is. It's like my therapys says, is it
Speaker 1: hurt or harm? It's going to harm you, and if
Speaker 1: something's going to harm you, you you don't do it. So yeah,
Speaker 1: Mike and Janna. I'm thirty three years old, married for
Speaker 1: fifteen years to my high school sweetheart. We have been
Speaker 1: blessed with two boys. I found out my husband hasn't
Speaker 1: watching porn for a long time. We went through this
Speaker 1: when we first got married and I thought it went away.
Speaker 1: Every question I asked that him watching, he just replies,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Then he once told me that it
Speaker 1: was my fault because I am moody towards him. I
Speaker 1: don't know if he's a sex addict or not. I've
Speaker 1: been trying different things in the bedroom or to please him,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if that is enough or what
Speaker 1: I should do. He's refusing counseling or any treatment. I've
Speaker 1: lost all my trust and I don't know how to
Speaker 1: gain it back and be happy again. Good question. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of meat on that bone. Um, here's the thing. Now,
Speaker 1: she said they had a conversation around porn early in
Speaker 1: their marriage, correct, So I mean we don't know what
Speaker 1: that conversation entailed, right, Like, we don't know if she
Speaker 1: said as a boundary or I don't like it, or
Speaker 1: i'd appreciate if you don't, or it's disrespectful towards me
Speaker 1: or considered cheating, whatever it may be, or if she said, well,
Speaker 1: don't do it all the time. So because I mean, shoot,
Speaker 1: for a lot of people, masturbation is still normal, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, It's still a normal thing that
Speaker 1: people do that some a lot of people are able
Speaker 1: to do without it taking away from their relationship. Now
Speaker 1: addict or not. Just the way I am now, I
Speaker 1: do believe that even if you're not an addict, it's
Speaker 1: can drive a wedge with your connectivity with your partner.
Speaker 1: That's just my personal belief. I think over time it can.
Speaker 1: They just need to have she needs to set her
Speaker 1: boundaries around it and consequences for the boundaries of boundaries
Speaker 1: broken and live up to the both you know, like
Speaker 1: if but I also yeah, I would also like to
Speaker 1: ask her too. It's like, is it that she just
Speaker 1: doesn't like it and she feels disrespected or is it
Speaker 1: Can she see and feel the disconnect in their marriage?
Speaker 1: Like question, do you think porn is something that does
Speaker 1: draw a disconnection from a relationship? Like I was just saying,
Speaker 1: I think that porn addiction not can drive a wedge.
Speaker 1: So I mean that's tough. I think she just needs to, yeah,
Speaker 1: put down the boundaries and they need to have consequences
Speaker 1: around these boundaries. And you have that conversation, it's tough. Well,
Speaker 1: let's all go watch a PG rated film right now.
Speaker 1: Go watch Frozen two with Nicky Elton. Just starting Frozen
Speaker 1: two with Nicky Elton. Just leave it at this with
Speaker 1: food for thought is make sure you and your partner
Speaker 1: are are clear about boundaries and communicate around you know,
Speaker 1: some of these tough conversations, um, because when there's too
Speaker 1: much room for interpretation, it can cause you know, a
Speaker 1: big issue. Agree and you, guys, whatever is inside of you,
Speaker 1: it's out prolonging it. Do it. We got a half
Speaker 1: of the year left and it's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1: I love you guys. H