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Speaker 1: Key CUTI misconnections.

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Speaker 2: That was me staring.

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Speaker 1: There's only two places to find true love in this world.

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Speaker 1: One is at Costco when the old sample lady uses

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Speaker 1: her ungloved hands to pop a teriyaki meatball directly into

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Speaker 1: your mouth.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, is that why the line is always so long?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is a wrinkly finger. The other is on

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Speaker 1: the pages of craigslist dot org. We scoured that website

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Speaker 1: every week to find the best misconnections they have to offer,

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Speaker 1: like this first one titled lost My Balance and My

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Speaker 1: Chance with You Oh man for woman thirty three.

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Speaker 2: Roller rink, This is cute.

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Speaker 1: You were the cutie with a blonde ponytail wearing a

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Speaker 1: sun dress and knee pads doing laps like you were

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Speaker 1: training for a roller derby competition.

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Speaker 2: Dude, seriously, have you guys been to an Oh no,

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Speaker 2: sorry roller derby. I've been to, but the roller rink.

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Speaker 2: I'm telling you there are like a handful of adults

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Speaker 2: that are serious out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would the swoll short king wearing an

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Speaker 1: Era's tour sweatshirt that couldn't make it five feet without

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Speaker 1: falling on my face. Yes, one point midnight you skated

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Speaker 1: into me aggressively, and by that I mean you yelled

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Speaker 1: kamikazi and trucked me against the rink rails.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Did you do that on purpose because you liked me?

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Speaker 1: Or were you on bath salts? Regardless, I found myself

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Speaker 1: sprawled out on the rink looking up at the ceiling

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Speaker 1: when the unthinkable happened and you ran over me again.

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Speaker 2: Oh I didn't feel unthinkable to me. I feel like

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Speaker 2: that was exactly what was going to happen.

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Speaker 1: This time. You apologized and offered to share a boat

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Speaker 1: shaped bowl of nachos as a peace offering. Yes, we talked,

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Speaker 1: we ate, I crushed you in several rounds of Big

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Speaker 1: Game Hunter, and now I can't stop thinking about you.

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Speaker 2: This sounds like a legit date.

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Speaker 1: Let's go out for nachos again, but next time. I

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Speaker 1: promised not to slap your hand if you try to

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Speaker 1: double dip, and if we're gonna kiss later, I might

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Speaker 1: as well get used to your saliva early. That signed, Dougie.

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Speaker 2: You're allowed to double dip with anybody that you're kissing. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, still gross.

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Speaker 1: This next misconnection is titled Love at First Ride Man

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Speaker 1: for Woman twenty five bright Red Toyota Prius. You were

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Speaker 1: the lift driver that drove me home from a fun

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Speaker 1: night at the hospital last Wednesday. Nikes, what tbh. I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry about such an awkward ride, but when you swooped me,

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Speaker 1: technically the doctors hadn't officially discharged me out, so that's

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Speaker 1: why I was kind of yelling for you to punch

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Speaker 1: it when we left, even though it was only like

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Speaker 1: a ten minute ride. I must apologize for all my

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Speaker 1: groaning and moaning. I was still in pain for my surgery.

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Speaker 1: Oh but you were so kind to lean the passenger

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Speaker 1: seat back so i'd have somewhere to place my colostomy back.

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Speaker 2: God, my hero. Hey it didn't spill.

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Speaker 1: Okay, it wasn't all bad, though. You have to admit

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Speaker 1: we did have some playful moments with each other, like

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Speaker 1: the time I tried to change the radio station with

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Speaker 1: my left foot but you kept batting it away, flirting much.

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Speaker 2: Why do I picture you barefoot?

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Speaker 1: Some people do that, they take their foot out the

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Speaker 1: window people changing there. Anyway, I know, you said. Other

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Speaker 1: than your job at Lyft, you also worked as a

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Speaker 1: part time fry cook at Long John Silver's.

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Speaker 2: You could remember after all the surgery drugs?

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Speaker 1: Is that what that smell was. I just thought it

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Speaker 1: was really expensive air freshen or ocean breeze.

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Speaker 2: Oh you like the smell.

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Speaker 1: If you don't respond to this, I'll always think of

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Speaker 1: you when I smell fish resting on a beach.

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Speaker 2: What I bet he'll always think of you when he

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Speaker 2: sees a colostomy bag? Yeah you know?

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Speaker 1: Oh that's signed Carolina. Wow. This next misconnection is titled

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Speaker 1: can you refill my heart?

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Speaker 2: My prescription?

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Speaker 1: Is you man for woman? Twenties pharmacy?

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Speaker 2: A lot of medical things happening today.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds like they all need it too. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: were my grocery store pharmacists from two days ago. Tall, shapely,

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Speaker 1: and possibly the woman with the biggest hands I've ever seen.

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Speaker 2: Oh hey, you.

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Speaker 1: Can fill a lot of bottles it once, he says,

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Speaker 1: I was in awe as you held my pill bottle

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Speaker 1: in your hand like it was a poly pocket toy.

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Speaker 2: Dude, big big hands are really impressive.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, if you don't remember, I was the

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Speaker 1: brown haired guy with gray sweats who told you the

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Speaker 1: joke that I had rip resting itch place and pointed downstairs.

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Speaker 2: God, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: You did that.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna hear you on here.

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Speaker 1: You didn't laugh, but I get it. You have to

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Speaker 1: be professional.

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Speaker 2: There's not why.

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Speaker 1: When our transaction was done, I spilled all of my

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Speaker 1: pills all over the counter. You probably thought it was clumsy,

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Speaker 1: but I really did it on purpose, just to give

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Speaker 1: myself a reason to linger. As I watched you struggle

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Speaker 1: to pick up the small pills with those giant oversized myths,

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Speaker 1: I noticed that the store speakers were playing R. Kelly's

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Speaker 1: ignition remix.

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Speaker 2: R Kelly is never allowed to be your couple songs

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Speaker 2: a sign.

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Speaker 1: It's a sign I thought it was, so I asked

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Speaker 1: you out. You pretended to ignore me and help another customer.

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Speaker 1: You know you like me. That signed Bobby aka band

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Speaker 1: aid Boy parentheses my college nickname.

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Speaker 2: Do not ask why he got.

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Speaker 1: Those were your Craigslist misconnections for the week. We've got

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Speaker 1: your phone tap coming up.

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Speaker 2: Right after this. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,