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Speaker 1: Hay Hurdlers.

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Speaker 2: Emily a body here chiming in for five Minute Friday

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Speaker 2: from Hurdle.

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Speaker 1: Y'all know the drill. On five Minute.

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Speaker 2: Friday, I share a story, I offer a prompt, and

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Speaker 2: then I break things down in my Highlights of the week,

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Speaker 2: the things that I am loving, content picks, charities, humans,

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Speaker 2: you know. This week for five Minute Friday, I am

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Speaker 2: talking about something that's been popping up in my dms

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Speaker 2: a lot on Instagram, and that is comments about my looks.

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Speaker 2: Not just you know, you're so pretty or something like that. No,

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Speaker 2: that's not what I'm here to talk about. What I'm

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Speaker 2: here to talk about is a frequently to comment I'm

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Speaker 2: getting lately on my size and my muscle tone and

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Speaker 2: things of that nature. And it's interesting, right because when

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Speaker 2: I look back on the last few months, I have

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Speaker 2: had quite the time. I mean back on April tenth,

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Speaker 2: if I scrolled through my Instagram, that's when I posted

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Speaker 2: this what felt like really vulnerable post talking about how

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Speaker 2: many times I had been going to the fridge on

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Speaker 2: the regular. And I think the day that I put

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Speaker 2: up that post, I had counted fourteen different times that

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Speaker 2: I walked into my kitchen to look for something to eat.

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Speaker 2: And at the time, I was really struggling, right, I

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Speaker 2: felt really helpless. It was at the beginning or toward

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Speaker 2: the beginning of the entire coronavirus situation. We were all

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Speaker 2: told to stay at home as much as possible. My

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Speaker 2: routine was completely out of whack. I wasn't running because

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Speaker 2: my hip was really painful. I was crying sporadically at

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Speaker 2: my desk. I mean, things felt like they were at

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Speaker 2: a low point, for sure. And in that post I

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Speaker 2: wrote something like, I don't think that I'm failing by

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Speaker 2: going to the kitchen constantly, but I would be lying

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Speaker 2: if I didn't acknowledge that I think this looking for

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Speaker 2: something when it comes to food and beverage. It's me

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Speaker 2: trying to cope with things that I'm not confronting on

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Speaker 2: a personal level. And I mean I was dealing with

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Speaker 2: a lot my self talk was awful, and I remember

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Speaker 2: shortly after putting up that post, I braved the scale

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Speaker 2: for the first time in a long time, as if

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Speaker 2: it felt like I was back in college and I

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Speaker 2: was about to get out of the scale and confront

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Speaker 2: something that felt like a little bit bigger than me.

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Speaker 2: And although the number that I saw when I stepped

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Speaker 2: on the scale that day wasn't anything near what I

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Speaker 2: saw in college. The feelings I felt around this experience,

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Speaker 2: they were very, very similar, and I knew that I

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Speaker 2: really needed to do a personal audit of sorts, and

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Speaker 2: so the audit it wasn't rooted in changing that number,

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Speaker 2: although I definitely expected that to be a byproduct of

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Speaker 2: the work that I knew I had to do. But

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Speaker 2: my goal was really just to find my happy again.

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Speaker 2: I'm not the kind of person that just like wallows

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Speaker 2: and being upset, and for a few weeks at that point,

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Speaker 2: I almost accepted this feeling of subpar as normal and

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Speaker 2: that's just not what I'm about. I knew I wanted

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Speaker 2: to get back to a place of feeling proud of me,

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Speaker 2: a place of feeling more at home in my mind

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Speaker 2: and in my body, and I wanted to feel empowered,

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Speaker 2: and I wanted to feel confident. And so it started

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Speaker 2: with honestly a lot of letting go, primarily of the

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Speaker 2: frustration over the things that I couldn't change. I stopped

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Speaker 2: seeking comfort in the wrong relationships. I made it a

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Speaker 2: point to get to bed earlier. I stopped setting an

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Speaker 2: alarm the morning. I stuck with my regular journaling practice,

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Speaker 2: and each and every single journal entry with something that

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Speaker 2: I was grateful for that happened in the last twenty

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Speaker 2: four hours.

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Speaker 1: Let's see here.

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Speaker 2: I started moving more regularly, even if that didn't mean

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Speaker 2: that I got to get up and run. It just

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Speaker 2: meant that I would move some way each and every

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Speaker 2: day in a way that felt good for my body.

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Speaker 2: I focused on a strength routine that would help me

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Speaker 2: get back to a place where I could run again.

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Speaker 2: And I also started to make regular like dates with

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Speaker 2: friends and family on Zoom and FaceTime that I could

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Speaker 2: look forward to, just like in the good old days

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Speaker 2: when you could go down to Bar Premi and see

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Speaker 2: one of my best friends.

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Speaker 1: And just relish in the feeling.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, I did a lot right, Like that's a lot

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Speaker 2: of stuff, but it all just felt really, really right.

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Speaker 2: And I remember about a month later, at the beginning

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Speaker 2: of May, I woke up after one particular night of

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Speaker 2: like nine and a half hours of sleep or something,

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Speaker 2: and I felt great, like noticeably great, and I felt

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Speaker 2: light and like I could breathe holy. And I remember

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Speaker 2: that I went to my journal and I wrote down

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Speaker 2: something like I feel better and more open with every

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Speaker 2: day as I invest in myself, which is like pretty

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Speaker 2: bold and strong wording for when this journal usually happens

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Speaker 2: at like six point thirty in the morning. Anyway, fast

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Speaker 2: forward to a few days ago. I've been, you know,

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Speaker 2: still doing this work, still taking the time for myself,

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Speaker 2: listening to me. It's early in the morning, I post

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Speaker 2: my shoe tying Instagram. I'm getting ready to head out

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Speaker 2: the door, and I get a DM from someone and

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Speaker 2: it's like six point fifty in the morning, and the

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Speaker 2: DM says, what have you been doing for your arms

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Speaker 2: in quarantine?

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Speaker 1: You look so toned? That's my impression voice.

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Speaker 2: I know that this person wasn't trying to I'm sure

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Speaker 2: they I'm sure they just they don't actually sound.

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Speaker 1: Like this at all.

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Speaker 2: Here's the thing, this isn't the first message that I

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Speaker 2: have received over the past few weeks along these lines.

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Speaker 2: And they're coming from people that I do know, friends

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Speaker 2: that are commenting on my appearance. And then they're coming

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Speaker 2: from you know, people that I don't even know, of course,

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Speaker 2: via social media.

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Speaker 1: I won't lie.

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Speaker 2: The external validation certainly feels like a drug, for lack

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Speaker 2: of a better comparison, at times, it encourages me almost

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Speaker 2: to like do things that I wouldn't do otherwise. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm not sitting here lifting the dumbbells that are sitting

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Speaker 2: next to my television. In fact, I can't remember the

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Speaker 2: last time I touched.

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Speaker 1: One of those.

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Speaker 2: What I what I am doing, and what I want

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Speaker 2: to bring up every single time that one of these

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Speaker 2: messages comes through is like this outer change is.

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Speaker 1: The result of a lot of inner work. Right.

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Speaker 2: So many of the things that make me really proud

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Speaker 2: like I'm doing something right, those are the things that

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Speaker 2: I want to talk about. I mean, let's please talk

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Speaker 2: about finally taking the time to strengthen my body instead

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Speaker 2: of just running it into the ground, or me exercising

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Speaker 2: because it feels good, not because I'm trying to combat

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Speaker 2: quote unquote poor eating habits or being more intuitive with

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Speaker 2: those eating habits. God, having hard conversations with myself, hard

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Speaker 2: conversations with others that I've shied away from before, setting

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Speaker 2: boundaries and understanding that these boundaries are not selfish, maintaining

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Speaker 2: regular therapy appointments.

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Speaker 1: I mean, there's so much.

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Speaker 2: Work happening here, and so I guess what I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to say here is that I want you, the hurdlers,

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Speaker 2: I want the people that are sending the messages to

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Speaker 2: know that what's happening here is bigger than what's on

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Speaker 2: the outside. And it's not that I don't appreciate my arms,

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Speaker 2: my strong arms, but to be honest, again, I don't

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Speaker 2: have much to say about them. But I can tell

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Speaker 2: you about all of the other stuff, the important stuff.

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Speaker 2: I can tell you that when you take the time

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Speaker 2: to work on what's on the inside, then that's when

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Speaker 2: the real you shines through. And I would argue that

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Speaker 2: the energy that you're seeing from me lately, that's the

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Speaker 2: good stuff. I'm proud of my strong heart. I'm proud

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Speaker 2: that I am in this continuously an ever evolving chapter

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Speaker 2: of self love. I'm proud of all the work that

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Speaker 2: enables me to show up during the hard times. And

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Speaker 2: trust me, I mean there are always going to be

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Speaker 2: those moments where I'm still crying at my desk in

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Speaker 2: the middle of the day. And I will always talk

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Speaker 2: to you about all of the things. But what I

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Speaker 2: really want.

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Speaker 1: To talk to you about.

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Speaker 2: It's got nothing to do with my arms. So my

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Speaker 2: prompt for you this week, what is one thing you

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Speaker 2: have been working on that no one knows about in

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Speaker 2: the work that you're doing personally, What is one stride

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Speaker 2: that makes you proud? What can you reflect on from

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Speaker 2: the past few months that you've been working on to

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Speaker 2: be a better you that has nothing to do with

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Speaker 2: the physical Highlights of the week and links to all

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Speaker 2: of these highlights can be found in the show notes.

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Speaker 2: By now, you have probably seen Emmanuel acchos videos Uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: Conversations with a Black Man on your social feed and

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Speaker 2: what I love about Acho's approach I was thinking about

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Speaker 2: this as I was washing my face last night.

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Speaker 1: Is I love his analogies.

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Speaker 2: I mean, every time I get on my bicycle, I

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Speaker 2: think about the on your left one he made in

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Speaker 2: his first episode and this week's episode, episode three, he

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Speaker 2: sits down with Chip and Joanna Gaines as well as

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Speaker 2: they're cute kids to talk about a lot of uncomfortable stuff.

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Speaker 2: I love when one of the Gaines children asks him

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Speaker 2: if he is afraid of white people, and his answer

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Speaker 2: to this involves an analogy, talking about water and electricity

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Speaker 2: and that he feels sometimes like he has to be cautious,

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Speaker 2: saying both are necessary for life. But if water and

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Speaker 2: electricity have a negative interaction. It can be lethal. Definitely

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Speaker 2: check those videos out. Last week in the Weekly Hurdle Newsletter,

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Speaker 2: I highlighted some of my favorite pairs of shorts for running,

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Speaker 2: and this week I am highlighting some of my favorite

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Speaker 2: sports bras a question I get asked all of the time.

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Speaker 2: Links to all three of those, including the under Armour mid,

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Speaker 2: the Lululumit Energy Bra, and the Nike Swoosh Sports Bra,

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Speaker 2: are in the show notes. I know you're wondering why

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Speaker 2: these three As someone that's not the biggest girl on top,

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Speaker 2: they're supportive for everything from literally running a marathon to

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Speaker 2: doing downward dog in my living room, and that is

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Speaker 2: my litmus test. Something else for you to check out

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Speaker 2: this week, definitely give Nicole Cardoza's Anti racism daily newsletter

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Speaker 2: a Lookxi. Just like your yoga practice, anti racism work,

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Speaker 2: it involves diligent work and Nicole Cardoza she's the founder

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Speaker 2: of both Yoga Foster as well as Reclamation Ventures.

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Speaker 1: She wants to give us all a helping hand to

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Speaker 1: do that work.

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Speaker 2: This was brought to my attention by one of you,

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Speaker 2: the Hurtlers, so thank you so much for the highlight.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to check it out myself. Something else

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Speaker 2: worth highlighting. Pick up Please, free donation pick up. I

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Speaker 2: am so one of those people that usually is like

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Speaker 2: bringing at least one bag a month to the Goodwill

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Speaker 2: on the next block for me, and to my knowledge,

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Speaker 2: Goodwill centers around the country have been closed for some

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Speaker 2: time now because of the coronavirus pandemic.

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Speaker 1: So this pickup.

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Speaker 2: Please donation is supported by the Vietnam Veterans of America.

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Speaker 2: I found it googling this week and they will send

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Speaker 2: you a free ups shipping label so that you can

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Speaker 2: send your goods off to them. And all of these

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Speaker 2: donations go to benefiting or veterans, which I think is

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Speaker 2: an excellent cause. And this way you're doing something with

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Speaker 2: your lightly used goods that is productive. Second to last

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Speaker 2: pick of this week. You heard me talk about it

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Speaker 2: on the show on Monday. It's the one Million Miles

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Speaker 2: for Justice with Black Girls Run Challenge.

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Speaker 1: I'm so amped to.

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Speaker 2: Report back to you guys that more than one hundred

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Speaker 2: hurdlers have signed up to join Team Hurdlers for this challenge.

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Speaker 2: Each person that joins pledges at least twenty five dollars

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Speaker 2: and then as you run or walk or bike or

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Speaker 2: however you move throughout the month, go into your account

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Speaker 2: on the site again linked in the show notes, and

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Speaker 2: log your mileage. The goal is that together, not only

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Speaker 2: will we raise funds and awareness, but we will also

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Speaker 2: be able to move together. The password to join our

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Speaker 2: team if you are interested is Hurdle Moment.

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Speaker 1: I would love, love, love to have you.

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Speaker 2: And one last note on this, the challenge goes through

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Speaker 2: July fifteenth, so if you're a little hesitant, you've got

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Speaker 2: some time to get in on the action. And the

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Speaker 2: last highlight of the week it goes to all of

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Speaker 2: the fathers out there. Father's Day on deck this Sunday.

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Speaker 2: I personally am so so grateful for my dad. Bob.

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Speaker 2: You are a one of a kind guy. Literally my

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Speaker 2: best friend, my confidant. I can talk to you about anything.

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Speaker 2: I truly believe that not only is my life better

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Speaker 2: because of you, but the world is better because of you.

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Speaker 2: Happy Father's Day to you and yours. As always, Please,

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Speaker 2: if you love what you're listening to, make sure to

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Speaker 2: pass this episode of Five Minute Friday along to a friend.

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Speaker 2: Click on into the show notes, subscribe to the Weekly Hurdle.

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Speaker 2: Also rate and review the podcast in the iTunes store

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Speaker 2: and hit me up on social. It's at Emily Body

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Speaker 2: at Hurdle Podcast, Another hurdle conquered.

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Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.