Speaker 1: Mother fucking many years, many mother fucking manyisode. Bang Bang
Speaker 1: bang skeep skeep skeep. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to another
Speaker 1: phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where
Speaker 1: we dive deep deep into the pockets of black conspiracy
Speaker 1: theories and we finally worked to prove the theories that
Speaker 1: you the listener have at home. It's your time to shine, baby.
Speaker 1: You get to shine by listening to me talk for
Speaker 1: roughly fifteen to twenty minutes, or until I get tired.
Speaker 1: It's usually in that span. After a while, I get
Speaker 1: the list really sounds precise in my ears in a
Speaker 1: way that I that's unsettling for me. I took speech
Speaker 1: classes for an entire year fourth grade. Me and three
Speaker 1: other kids would get pulled out of English class and
Speaker 1: taken down to a much smaller and much more shameful
Speaker 1: classroom where they would make us play games and they
Speaker 1: would give us candy every time we says out of
Speaker 1: our stupid mouths. It was a journey each time trying
Speaker 1: to explain to my my classmates where I was going
Speaker 1: and not exposing myself as a mush mouth idiot. And uh,
Speaker 1: it never worked. They knew they always knew. And they say,
Speaker 1: here he comes, old snaggle Puss, he's back from his
Speaker 1: speech course. It's and I had the best. You know
Speaker 1: what's funny about it is I actually had the best
Speaker 1: speech impediment in the entire class. Like everybody else had
Speaker 1: it way worse. They had that weird r thing that
Speaker 1: baby save and apparently you can keep having well into adulthood.
Speaker 1: But the I, I was out there thriving. So I
Speaker 1: won all the games, and I was a big champion
Speaker 1: of the speech classes, but not a champion amongst my
Speaker 1: regular peers. No, Surrey Bob. They didn't respect me at all.
Speaker 1: But that's neither here nor there. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I brought that up. This isn't what the episode is about.
Speaker 1: It has literally nothing to do with today's episode. And
Speaker 1: once again we're gonna be taking submissions from our from
Speaker 1: our dear listeners. And this one actually comes from a
Speaker 1: person who I can't His name is President Cheeto. That's
Speaker 1: the name that was offered up to me. Now I'm
Speaker 1: not sure if that the implication is that he is
Speaker 1: in fact the president of the Cheeto company, or if
Speaker 1: he uh is merely making a a slight at our
Speaker 1: former president, great president, maybe the best president we've ever had. Uh,
Speaker 1: what if this is when I revealed that I was
Speaker 1: the Trump supporter of this entire time. That'd be pretty cool.
Speaker 1: What a fun journey that would have been, and a
Speaker 1: weird turn for all of you who have committed to
Speaker 1: downloading this every week, you fucking idiots. That's right. He's
Speaker 1: cool and I think his body is hot, and I
Speaker 1: like when he plays golf in the middle of horrifying
Speaker 1: moments in the country. It encourages me. Got you all right? Anyway,
Speaker 1: gonna play this recording from President Cheetah and we'll talk
Speaker 1: about it afterwards. It's a fun one. Hey, Lankston, Love
Speaker 1: the podcast had a conspiracy theory for you. For World
Speaker 1: War Two, the US scooped up all the Nazis scientists.
Speaker 1: Look up Operation paper Clip, and one of the scientists
Speaker 1: is actually connected to lyme disease, which you know has
Speaker 1: affected my family. So anyway, I love the podcast. Thought
Speaker 1: it was a We're the white conspiracy theory to follow
Speaker 1: up on. Love the podcast so much, make me laugh
Speaker 1: so hard, keep up the great work, all right. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, President Cheeto, Uh, I don't like open
Speaker 1: ended assignments. I don't care for that one bit. You
Speaker 1: come to me and you say, look up Operation paper Clip.
Speaker 1: You don't even tell me what I'm meant to walk
Speaker 1: away with from this. This is a black conspiracy theory podcast,
Speaker 1: and here you come with some white bullshit that I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do with. And furthermore, line disease
Speaker 1: it affected your family. Tell me how, President Cheetoh. I
Speaker 1: want to know who among you get sleepy at weird
Speaker 1: hours in the day because of their terrible line disease.
Speaker 1: I'm joking. Obviously, I'm very happy that you sent this
Speaker 1: to me. I did have some trouble figuring out exactly
Speaker 1: where this connects and the my mama told me verse
Speaker 1: if that makes sense, and in this whole sort of
Speaker 1: multiverse of black ship that I was digging into. But
Speaker 1: it turns out that there actually is a bit of
Speaker 1: a connection. So for those that aren't aware of what
Speaker 1: Operation paper Clip is, I'll break it down. Basically, Operation
Speaker 1: paper Clip was the CIA mission in the wake of
Speaker 1: World War two to uh salvage the greatest minds quote
Speaker 1: unquote greatest minds of Nazi Germany and bring them to
Speaker 1: the US in order to better prepare themselves for the
Speaker 1: pending battle with the Soviet Union in the Cold War.
Speaker 1: It's a very real thing that happened. A bunch of
Speaker 1: CIA operatives made it possible for German scientists to come
Speaker 1: to the US and work on science here under the
Speaker 1: guise of just being scientists, without revealing that they actually
Speaker 1: were scientists. For fucking Hitler. It's a big deal. And
Speaker 1: at the time, President Truman didn't even approve the ship.
Speaker 1: He wasn't a fan. He had this weird thing where
Speaker 1: he like believed that Nazis were bad and shouldn't get
Speaker 1: the chance to like rebuild their lives. I don't know,
Speaker 1: the guy was a weirdough. But that said, President Truman
Speaker 1: didn't dig it. And the CIA was actually developed. It
Speaker 1: was established for the sole purpose of moving behind his back.
Speaker 1: The CIA basically was was created as a way of
Speaker 1: being able to do international ship for the US without
Speaker 1: having to get presidential approval. And it was developed established
Speaker 1: in nineteen forty seven, obviously two years after World War
Speaker 1: Two ended. So all those people, and this is an
Speaker 1: important note for us to to really get this conversation started.
Speaker 1: All those people who pretend like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: can't believe that we are protecting Nazis. I can't believe
Speaker 1: that Nazis exist in this country. It's important for you
Speaker 1: to understand that we've always protected Nazis. We've always been
Speaker 1: real big fans of Nazis. This isn't a new thing.
Speaker 1: This new version of Nazi where they're kind of sexy
Speaker 1: and uh and bad body but have cool haircuts. That's
Speaker 1: that's just new. That's just baby. That's new coke. That
Speaker 1: is new coke as far as I'm concerned, because we've
Speaker 1: been drinking that poison for a long time now. Langston,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought up new coke. Why is that, Langston?
Speaker 1: Because it actually connects to where this becomes not just
Speaker 1: a international conspiracy theory, not just a conspiracy theory on
Speaker 1: a larger scale, but a conspiracy theory that affects black people.
Speaker 1: And it actually this connection comes from a completely different
Speaker 1: submission that I received from a person named Mitchell. Mitchell
Speaker 1: sent me a message very recently. I won't say when,
Speaker 1: that's me and Mitchell's business when I got it, but
Speaker 1: the important part is Mitchell sent me a message about
Speaker 1: something relating to this theory of Operation paper Clip. It's
Speaker 1: loosely related. But Mitchell after he says a bunch of
Speaker 1: glowing things about how great the podcast is and how
Speaker 1: my voice sounds like it's perfect for whispering in a
Speaker 1: nice lady's there and making love to her. He says
Speaker 1: a lot of blowing things. But then afterwards Mitchell says
Speaker 1: Fantas soda was invented by the Nazis. So during World
Speaker 1: War Two there were a bunch of blockades and such
Speaker 1: around Germany to the point where the people couldn't get
Speaker 1: any outside goods brought into the country. The branch of
Speaker 1: Coca Cola in Germany started running out of the ingredients
Speaker 1: needed to make the normal coke drinks. So to keep
Speaker 1: money running and their Nazi overlords happy, the Nazi cokemakers
Speaker 1: decided to make a new soda that would make all
Speaker 1: the blonde people smile and go, oh yeah, Mitchell, you're
Speaker 1: a beautiful writer. So they threw a bunch of stuff together.
Speaker 1: Then the original Fantas soda was made. Then, after the war,
Speaker 1: and once Germany was no longer being such dicks that's
Speaker 1: up for grabs, the Coca Cola company was looking at
Speaker 1: each other like, damn, this Fanta soda is some good ship.
Speaker 1: So they decided, let's start selling this around the world
Speaker 1: and just pretend it wasn't made by a bunch of
Speaker 1: racist white dudes trying to please a guy who looked
Speaker 1: exactly like the people claimed to hate so much. Hope
Speaker 1: y'all can figure out a way to talk this out.
Speaker 1: Love the show, And just to reiterate, Fanta was made
Speaker 1: by racists for racist but you can drink it if
Speaker 1: you need something cold and refreshing, especially the orange soda,
Speaker 1: because who's orange soda is better? Sun kissed? Fuck that
Speaker 1: ship anyway, this Mitchell telling us that Fanta was created
Speaker 1: by Nazis, and as it turns out, Mitchell is fucking right.
Speaker 1: I did my research. I looked it up and not
Speaker 1: to are responsible for creating a lot of cool shit. Uh. Nazis.
Speaker 1: They made a bunch of weird missiles that that could
Speaker 1: track people and murder stuff. They had indestructible tanks. They
Speaker 1: had something called a super gun, which is very scary.
Speaker 1: Regular guns scare me, but super guns Goddamn. They take
Speaker 1: their glasses off and you don't even recognize them when
Speaker 1: they're flying around shooting stuff. Uh. The VW Beetle was
Speaker 1: invented by Hitler. Hugo Boss designed the Nazi uniforms, and
Speaker 1: most essential to this conversation, the Nazis invented Fanta. In
Speaker 1: the middle of the war, the US decided it could
Speaker 1: no longer trade with Germany because that seemed like some
Speaker 1: funck shit, and instead the Coca Cola developers over in
Speaker 1: Germany were like, Hey, we ain't trying to go broke,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna work with Germany and we are going
Speaker 1: to instead develop our own drink, a new drink in
Speaker 1: German territory. And technically the original Anta was meant to
Speaker 1: be fruit flavored, but because of limited wartime resources, they
Speaker 1: had to use real weird, fucked up ingredients like leftover
Speaker 1: apple fibers and mash from cider presses, and a cheese
Speaker 1: byproduct called Way. None of it was meant to taste good,
Speaker 1: or at least I guess it was meant to taste good.
Speaker 1: But none of it probably tastes good. It probably tastes
Speaker 1: like liquid asks. If I were to guess, I don't
Speaker 1: know what asks. You know, that's not true. I know
Speaker 1: what as states like, but I I don't know what
Speaker 1: liquid as states like. I've only had ass in the
Speaker 1: uh in the solid form. But this probably tastes like
Speaker 1: liquid ass, and that that seems worse somehow. That said
Speaker 1: a biographer named Mark Pendergrast, not pender Grass, and he's
Speaker 1: not related to Teddy. Mark pender Grass actually described Fanta
Speaker 1: as being made from the leftovers of the leftovers. So
Speaker 1: it was not good in the beginning, but Coca Cola persisted.
Speaker 1: They kept selling this Fanta. They kept working with Nazi
Speaker 1: Germany and Coca Cola. They were some big supporters of
Speaker 1: the Nazi, so much so that they actually were the
Speaker 1: major sponsor of the ninety six Berlin Olympics, where they
Speaker 1: produced coke bottles with a swastika printed on the fucking bottle.
Speaker 1: They loved Hitler. They were big fans of Hitler. Now
Speaker 1: here's where I start to connect things back to black people,
Speaker 1: because black people love fanta. That's just a fact. We
Speaker 1: love fanta. We love fruit drinks in general. That's sort
Speaker 1: of our thing. And part of the reason that we
Speaker 1: love these drinks is not because of some inherent thing.
Speaker 1: You pieces of ship. Don't you go around spreading some
Speaker 1: new conspiracy theory that our tongues are shaped in a
Speaker 1: certain way. Where the bubbles of a fruit drink pop
Speaker 1: and make us. Uh. It hypnotizes us with with this deliciousness.
Speaker 1: Fuck you, that's not the way that this works. Part
Speaker 1: of the reason that these fruit drinks live in black
Speaker 1: community so much is because of the way that they
Speaker 1: are marketed their market, specifically towards minorities. If you've ever
Speaker 1: seen a Fanta commercial, it ain't nothing but a thick
Speaker 1: black lady dancing on a beach somewhere. So you goddamn right.
Speaker 1: I like Fanta, I'm horny, and I wanted something refreshing.
Speaker 1: Those two things combined making an unstoppable delicious combination. But
Speaker 1: Fanta wasn't developed with good intentions, right. They weren't making
Speaker 1: Fanta with like healthy considerations in mind. They were making
Speaker 1: Fanta with leftover ship. It literally was described as leftovers.
Speaker 1: So the reality is that these products were being made
Speaker 1: at the possibility that the Nazis were going to win
Speaker 1: the warf Coke was basically playing both sides. If the
Speaker 1: Nazis win, we gotta drink over here. If the Nazis lose,
Speaker 1: we throw Fanto away. But Fanta ended up being something
Speaker 1: that they were willing to keep and continue to sell,
Speaker 1: and then when the Nazis lost the war, Fanta went
Speaker 1: from being a Nazi substitute to Nigga juice. You see that,
Speaker 1: You see the math that I'm doing here, folks. It
Speaker 1: went from being something for the people who couldn't have
Speaker 1: anything in one location to the people they don't give
Speaker 1: a funk in a completely different location. So, despite years
Speaker 1: and years of technological innovation, these products remain mostly as
Speaker 1: the poison that they were to whoever will drink it
Speaker 1: and to whoever they can market it too, because this country,
Speaker 1: in particular the US has and will always be more
Speaker 1: interested in making money and ensuring its own advancements well
Speaker 1: before it does anything to ensure the survival of its citizens,
Speaker 1: particularly it's black ones. So Operation paper Clip, in my mind,
Speaker 1: is just a starting point for the poisoning of the
Speaker 1: black community via Fanta. Fanta and a bunch of thick
Speaker 1: ladies who promoted that's it. That's all I know about
Speaker 1: Fanta and and it's terrible Nazi history and Operation paper Clips.
Speaker 1: So thank you Mitchell, and thank you President Cheeto for
Speaker 1: your submissions. And if anybody at home is sitting and
Speaker 1: thinking of himselves, God damn, I would like to submit
Speaker 1: you can, you piece of ship. All you have to
Speaker 1: do is email us at my Mama pot at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com, and I would love to hear your voice.
Speaker 1: Let me hear that sweet voice at home. Let me
Speaker 1: hear the sultry sounds of you telling me what you
Speaker 1: want me to research and then talk about for fifteen
Speaker 1: to twenty minutes tops. That's where I tap out. But
Speaker 1: please send me messages. I'm tired of reading your emails.
Speaker 1: They're stupid. You know right well, you're not as good
Speaker 1: of a writer as Mitchell. Let me hear your voice anyway.
Speaker 1: Send us messages at my Mama pot at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: And more importantly, like and subscribe and comment on on
Speaker 1: the podcast on Apple podcast so that we can make
Speaker 1: it to the top tier of people uh saying nice
Speaker 1: things in or mean things about our podcasts. Anyway, I've
Speaker 1: talked enough by motherfucking Mini Yourselves mini episodes, motherfucking Mini
Speaker 1: epi sos, motherfucking Mini Yourselves many episodes, motherfucking Mini episelves