1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,040 Speaker 1: My wife won't stop ripping as in our bed. It's 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: getting really tiring. How do I stop my wife from 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:10,239 Speaker 1: acting like a brap hoog? Acting like a groundhog a 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: brath hog? 5 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 2: Blog? What is a braphog? I guess it's like just 6 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 2: like farting, like braw brap rap hog. 7 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 3: Brap hog a human female whose life is fully devoted 8 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 3: to the sole purpose of creating big farts. That is 9 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 3: a Urban Dictionary thing from twenty eighteen. Brap hoog. That's 10 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,479 Speaker 3: brap hoog. I've never heard that. Okay, wow, Urban Dictionary 11 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 3: always coming in clutch with always best keep educating us. 12 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 3: Thank you Urban Dictionary. All right, So my wife always 13 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 3: always John gets gas, very bad gas before bad and 14 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 3: while we're laying in bed before going to sleep, she 15 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 3: literally will not stop farting. Every couple minutes or so, 16 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 3: she'll keep adding one rip loudly, like, yes, I'm aware 17 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 3: some woman fart. I'm aware all women fart, even and 18 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 3: it's normal and she doesn't have to be sexy all 19 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 3: the time, blah blah blah. But it's freaking constant for hours. Well, 20 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 3: I've tried to sleep. They smell so freaking ranked too. 21 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 3: It's like something died in her butt. 22 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 23 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 3: It seems like one thing if the farts are kind 24 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 3: of like airy, you know, yeah, but if they have 25 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 3: a pungency to them. Yeah, and it's constant divorce, that's 26 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 3: a divorce. Divorce I's read It says divorce for everything. 27 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 3: I've tried gently suggesting she takes medication for her gas. 28 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 3: How do you gently suggest that. 29 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: Hey, you just gotta be like, yo, you gotta plug 30 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: your asses something, because that's just stinky. 31 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 3: Stop it, dude, you should beak up a couple of cults. 32 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: I really shure, like like, hey, you know, he slept, 33 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: he slept with my with my my mom. And I'd 34 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: be like, huh, nice, fucking sick crazy let me dap 35 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: him up. 36 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 2: Anyway. 37 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 3: But I've tried gently suggesting she takes medication for her gas, 38 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 3: but she doesn't really seem to think of it as 39 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 3: a problem. If I asked her to stop, she says, 40 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 3: you know, I can't help it. 41 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a wet one. I got it all over. Uh. 42 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 3: It's so hard to fall asleep with her constant smelly 43 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 3: farts for hours. She even farts in her sleep too. 44 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 3: It doesn't stop when she goes asleep. It's constant. Oh 45 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 3: my god, I don't know what to do or how 46 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 3: to take this or how to just take this seriously. 47 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 2: I don't know that is that is very tricky. Like 48 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 2: I think it's that true. 49 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,239 Speaker 1: I think I think she's like if she's like, you know, 50 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 1: I can't but like like if she's that playful bad, 51 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 1: I'd be like, all. 52 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,679 Speaker 2: Right, like you could help. 53 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 1: That's too much, it's too like please, I like sleep, Like, 54 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: like maybe we could get you like a smoking section 55 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: at an airport where you can just like fart your 56 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: brains down and then go to bed. But like the 57 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: smoking corner, the corner, dude, like it has to stop. 58 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 59 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 3: I think there's a couple options here, all right. One 60 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,799 Speaker 3: divorce yep, fingo, right, that's that's all. 61 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 2: Right. 62 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 3: Two you know, separate bedrooms, right, that works. Yeah, maybe 63 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 3: you got the bedroom for sexy time, in the bedroom 64 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 3: for farts. Maybe a third bedroom for just sleep. 65 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. 66 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 3: Third you tell her like, yo, this is really buggy, 67 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 3: but you gotta go on some medication or I'm going 68 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 3: to have to divorce you. 69 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 1: I think those are the three options. Fourth option marry 70 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: her mom, marry her mom. Another another reddit but what. 71 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 2: If farting runs in the family. What if she inherited 72 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 2: it from the mother? 73 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: Good points, sir, her best friend or something like, Yeah, 74 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 1: it has to be the crazy. 75 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 2: You know, my I couldn't stop farting, so I married 76 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 2: my best friend. 77 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 3: At least the best friend smells good, though, there'll go 78 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 3: better than your farting ass. 79 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, but there's an update. 80 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 3: Oh, we talked more about it, and she got very 81 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 3: upset with me because I was body shaming her. No, bro, 82 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 3: he's you. You are releasing noxious fumes. I don't know 83 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 3: if that's quite body shaming. You're literally this. This would 84 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 3: be like, this would be a war crime for fucking 85 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:43,599 Speaker 3: bio hazard. 86 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 2: This is this is like weapons. 87 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 1: This is like mustard gas just being disseminated throughout that 88 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 1: I'm imagining. 89 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 3: Like the only solution they come to is like, oh, 90 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 3: he's wearing one of those gas. 91 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 2: How he sues her for methane exposure. 92 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: My wife winds stop farting, So I took the cord 93 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 1: from a bad exposure. She's going to jail, and the 94 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: whole jail cell is gonna have to smell her ass. Yeah, 95 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:13,280 Speaker 1: a bad bird jail sealve bro it's bad, but this 96 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: has been potential to be one of the greatest friend 97 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: of stories of all time. 98 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 3: Like if there's more updates, need more updates, I need 99 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 3: more updates. Okay, So I told her, I get it, 100 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 3: women fart, but she couldn't even make it through us 101 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 3: arguing without fucking without farting for fuck sake, Like, are 102 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 3: your sphincter muscles that loose that you really can't like 103 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 3: hold it? It has to be the diet like Somethingeah, yeah, dude, 104 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 3: something's going on there. 105 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 2: You gotta you gotta like maybe go vegan or something. Wait. 106 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 3: I told her to quit eating fucking milk and cheese 107 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 3: because she's lactose intolerant and she knows this. 108 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 2: There we go. 109 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,120 Speaker 3: She told me I can't control what she eats, So 110 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 3: I said, fine, take lactad, and she claims she does. 111 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 3: I called her on her bullshit and we argued more 112 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 3: and ended up with her angrily sipping from a garden 113 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 3: of milk to punish me. 114 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 2: Later, Oh my god, we're fucking going vegan in this house. 115 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 3: Started as I microwate the large cat of big beans 116 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 3: to defend myself from the incoming fartinado. I know it's 117 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,600 Speaker 3: expensive to go vegan, but I don't eff and care. 118 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 3: No more milk, cheese, eggs, or coffee creamer, which is 119 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 3: apparently ninety percent of my discussing brash hog of a 120 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 3: wife's diet. I'm gonna try to slip lactate into her 121 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 3: food and drink from now on. Kill me now before 122 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 3: the farts do. 123 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 124 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 1: Okay, this is like this is definitely becoming like a 125 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: humongous issue. 126 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but like, bro, if you're lactose intolerant, just 127 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 3: stop eating it. 128 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like you come on like or at a 129 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,599 Speaker 1: bare minimum. I guess the lactate is like a pill 130 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 1: that said, the barest of the bear bear bear minimum. 131 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,719 Speaker 2: But that honestly doesn't work. You know mutual friends, Yes, 132 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 2: I know, mutual friend. 133 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, mutual friends. So, mutual friend, she is lactose intolerant, 134 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 3: like it just started happening, right, and so she cut 135 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 3: out all milk and dairy. But initially she was taking 136 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 3: lactate and thought that would help. But Bro, like she 137 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 3: she she was taking it and she drank like I 138 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 3: don't know, I think she like had like a coffee 139 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 3: creamer or like some cheese. There was stomach upset, upset 140 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 3: to high heavens. Farts released into the wild like like 141 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 3: sheep in the wind. So I lactate doesn't. 142 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: Work super for meThe and exposure. That's that's my advice.