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Speaker 1: It's your girl Ebenet from the Professional Homegirl podcast. The

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Speaker 1: only place where you would hear interviews from women of

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Speaker 1: color anomalously on stories that would enlighten and expand on

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Speaker 1: taboo topics. Now, if you hear someone that sounds familiar,

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Speaker 1: not in a business that pays your child. We are

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Speaker 1: back with the second part of last week's episode. My

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Speaker 1: pain led me to my purpose starting now. So within

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Speaker 1: three years, you moved to Atlanta and you receive your

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Speaker 1: degree in communications. I did, and then in addition, you

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Speaker 1: receive your master's degree in two thousand and eight in

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Speaker 1: social work. So what were some of the sacrifices you

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Speaker 1: had to make? Because I feel like when I interview

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Speaker 1: a lot of survivors, one thing that they always say

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Speaker 1: is how they was addicted to the streets. Yeah, there

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Speaker 1: was a strace for me, you know, my self awareness model,

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Speaker 1: it's an addition model. And then addicted to the spreets

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Speaker 1: because I didn't know what that's obvisdicted to. Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: You you gotta think about dropping out of high school?

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Speaker 1: Chief grade seven dope h went big dope mean now

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Speaker 1: the dope men, big dope mean. I got a gun.

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Speaker 1: Then the whole. I'm in the club. I'm living a

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Speaker 1: dangerous life. UM. I go from that too, clubbing, you know,

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Speaker 1: from Miss Charity, a baby nineteen dropping out on the

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Speaker 1: streets of babbit. He am in a white Predomini unit

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Speaker 1: rosity trying to read. You know, didn't there a white

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Speaker 1: cross pointing years old with th point I was gone

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Speaker 1: the blue eyes and I'm thirty through get them bast Okay.

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Speaker 1: Readers sent it h WHOA Can you imagine every day

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Speaker 1: go out home and feeling like can you do this right?

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Speaker 1: Some brought home potential guys because you was too afraid

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Speaker 1: to get your paper back. M. You don't want to

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Speaker 1: read out loud because you do in Fay. You came

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Speaker 1: you could gonna miss the world M and you got

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Speaker 1: ten year half because you're professor Kyd. You're pre telling

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Speaker 1: you not you can't read the rite. And so the

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Speaker 1: best thing I ever done for my stuff was that's

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Speaker 1: for help? Can you help me? Can you helped me

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Speaker 1: be better? I went to the writing BAP for three years.

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Speaker 1: I took twenties sixteen five four five fast. I went wrong.

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Speaker 1: It ron on my wall and my mirrors failure. It's

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Speaker 1: not an option. I had I had master priest, mastered

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Speaker 1: this deception, master being out here with these these men,

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Speaker 1: master getting money. I was good at what I did there.

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Speaker 1: I look up faverit date to get with the cleted Dollar,

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Speaker 1: wrote it and brought him here Manadama. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was good of that. Know, I thubs me all kind

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Speaker 1: of stuff because I was not sanding them streaked that.

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Speaker 1: I made it my job, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I know. So I just got if I could master

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Speaker 1: these striek, I could master these books. Okay, I'm star.

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Speaker 1: That was my thought process. And I got with every

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Speaker 1: white girl at the white girl in my class that

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Speaker 1: made it. Hey, I got with that white girl, and

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Speaker 1: I fettered with that white girl, and I learned how

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Speaker 1: to stutter. I learned how to take this, and I

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Speaker 1: learned how to pass with an eight. That's what I did.

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Speaker 1: And so yes, it was a hard stained woman. And

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Speaker 1: learn how to talk with that saying y'all nail mean

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Speaker 1: hilman nil mean you know no. The thing was PSD.

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Speaker 1: Then it was the girl from my PSHD. Because I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be here. I was dead. I was a loud hey,

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Speaker 1: but good so um the odd course the barriers that

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Speaker 1: was put in in follow me from my PSD program.

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Speaker 1: I'm as stoppable. All thing me is me. Only thing

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Speaker 1: is step stupaflige needs me. M we're all biggest telling

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Speaker 1: me to our steps with out saves and my wife.

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Speaker 1: So I went to clap to another universe and said,

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Speaker 1: listed here I am, and that let me tell you

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Speaker 1: the girl at PSD who I had a red bull

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Speaker 1: a sticker red uh ever, hardest thing I've ever done.

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Speaker 1: You know I've got turned down. They turned me down

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Speaker 1: with my digestation, told me trowed me. Then I had

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Speaker 1: to I'm undoctorate feeler and that turned out two three times.

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Speaker 1: So the message is what's your lever? That am about

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Speaker 1: to tell you? But you can't beat right? Don't you

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Speaker 1: nevering about to tell you your background? It's done. I

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Speaker 1: had to I have a robbery. I was in the

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Speaker 1: mouth still and got the fightment to keep in the stoat.

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Speaker 1: So he tuned into a robbery. I didn't know twenty

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Speaker 1: five years old, two children, the family robbery. I'm done,

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Speaker 1: That's what they told me. And and so it took

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Speaker 1: me seven years to get my part. I called bunk im.

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Speaker 1: The Hall of Doom was seventy years and Terry answering

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Speaker 1: fault and game and allowed me to come to mother.

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Speaker 1: I'm standing for the boy and got my part. I

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Speaker 1: d seven years. That's from what I tell people who

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Speaker 1: come to be with all excusedon. They ain't don't understand.

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Speaker 1: But you telling me you can't go to go. You're

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Speaker 1: telling me you can't do what you're telling me you

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Speaker 1: can't buy the ball. I'm the same way. I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't do well with excuses. You cannot come to

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Speaker 1: a woman like me and give me an excuse. It's

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Speaker 1: either a single swim and I became a shark. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I wrote my book when I couldn't even raid and

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Speaker 1: run him the tip brad lobble. Do you hear me?

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Speaker 1: I accomplished my own book. I did this and stop things.

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Speaker 1: I don't running. Come on now, I don't have an

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Speaker 1: add I ain't got them. See your out. I did

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Speaker 1: that fucking sting your vobble and it's still novel one. Okay,

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Speaker 1: ain't got another one. I'm doing. I'm just come now.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like you. We sharks out here. Help me.

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Speaker 1: Oh you don't understand. I'm I'm listening. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: you fine, I'm said, or won't you are going to

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Speaker 1: coming here with it? See the part and it's gone

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Speaker 1: mm hmm. That's though, because I'm gonna live a witness

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Speaker 1: that you could do this thing in my life. Right, No,

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Speaker 1: you're right. I gotta em me. I gotta enmy to

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Speaker 1: prove it. Okay, come on now, don't flex on them,

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Speaker 1: don't I'm never bringing the emy out. Don't bring the

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Speaker 1: emmy out. And you know, I think people think when

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Speaker 1: they see me that all am I supposed to die.

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Speaker 1: On the day I bearing my suppostaf semin Indiana, and

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Speaker 1: so I flew to Georgia. I mean I flew home

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Speaker 1: to my house in Georgia. I drove to from him

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Speaker 1: to get my SUPs book. Together with that book, you

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Speaker 1: can imagine how pain so that was to me. I'm

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Speaker 1: on the same day I put my bearing my sipstaf

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Speaker 1: to grow to Georgia and received the presidential uh we war.

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Speaker 1: I got the presidential war for um um best and

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Speaker 1: what is it? A lifetime achieta the presidential war from

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Speaker 1: body and ars for a lifetime achievement the war. So

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Speaker 1: I put my Emmy with me because when I got

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Speaker 1: the Presidential war up at last, not anybody say this

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Speaker 1: is for use. Fania, mm hmm, this is for you.

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Speaker 1: You know we we we're doing things to people in

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Speaker 1: the war, said because do I don't think it was

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Speaker 1: a dry neck role. Yeah, I want it. I want to.

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Speaker 1: I wanted so to me a funeral and then go

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Speaker 1: and get it the award. And they kept telling me,

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Speaker 1: you know you don't have to come and steps yes,

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Speaker 1: I do. You know this might fo to keam me

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Speaker 1: for it for the president, it stopped for me, and

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Speaker 1: I like, it's by the rough that we do, you know. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I think those two awards for me. So

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Speaker 1: you know, I think my problem means and you may

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Speaker 1: have this, you may not. You may be ever happy

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Speaker 1: with this. I don't know how to own my systemic

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Speaker 1: I feel like I have to say to the park

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Speaker 1: where I don't want to ever feel like, oh she

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Speaker 1: just but no, I definitely agree with you because I

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Speaker 1: feel like in the beginning of my entrepreneur journey, I

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Speaker 1: wasn't able to fully own my or own any successes

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Speaker 1: because I failed so much. So I feel like and

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Speaker 1: I also had a different definition of what success looked

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Speaker 1: like to me during those times. So now that I

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Speaker 1: feel like I have a new definition of it and

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Speaker 1: I'm getting closer and closer to making that into a reality.

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Speaker 1: I'm fully owning it. Um So John C. Mass World,

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Speaker 1: I am five of his books and imagine. Then in

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Speaker 1: his latest book, he got a book off fifteen, the

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Speaker 1: fifteen in Valuable Laws to grow It's and I'm number three.

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Speaker 1: M I was so moved, you know, without the gas,

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, I'm not successful, woted his throat May nineteen,

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Speaker 1: minions people about this book and the all names of

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Speaker 1: the world. It's bad to me saying are you rare?

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Speaker 1: And I'm wanted to find you people that there him?

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Speaker 1: Why did you choose me? But it's duck right and

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Speaker 1: so I and you know what, my girlfriends up because

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Speaker 1: you are her we want you are. Yeah, So I'll

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Speaker 1: just have to stay it. So staying humble, I know

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Speaker 1: you gotta feelmer Staying staying humble is authentiic mm hm.

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Speaker 1: And now people look at me as I'm a public figure,

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Speaker 1: and all right, I'm gotta I'm not about the figure.

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Speaker 1: And now I've never in my life felt so alone

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Speaker 1: with me because when you get to the top, you

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Speaker 1: see alone it And I know I can tell this.

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Speaker 1: I can't. I mean, you ask contation, but you know

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Speaker 1: all the dam who me ain't your de else? Okay,

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Speaker 1: what if you talking about I'm just saying, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's a whole lot of thirsty people out here. I'm

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Speaker 1: saying about that. And I'm like, so it's hard, but

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Speaker 1: doing anything out here cross you know, you got to

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Speaker 1: decap where you got your head, where you put your

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Speaker 1: win there where you like you don't know somebody to take. No,

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Speaker 1: that's a fact. That's a fact. That's a fact. People

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Speaker 1: have sold my flyer either and put their picture on it.

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Speaker 1: What Oh, that's how you know you're doing something now

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Speaker 1: her people have went that was a woman going around

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Speaker 1: in Atlanta at her use the nice store to try

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Speaker 1: to get the movie. Then in the documentary, Nah, who

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Speaker 1: are you serious? And they right now, I want to

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Speaker 1: go through what I went through. No, that's a that's

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Speaker 1: a different type of person. So I just think so

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Speaker 1: happy when I found people like you, and I need you. No,

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Speaker 1: I need you, And I'm so thankful that you want

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Speaker 1: to come on this show and share your stories, share

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Speaker 1: your story. I just have two more questions. One of

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Speaker 1: the things that you mentioned a documentary is because of

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Speaker 1: the cycles of sexual abusetion your family. You said that

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Speaker 1: you had to look at your sons in question if

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Speaker 1: they were going to ever fall into that cycle. So

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Speaker 1: what did you do? What did you have to do

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Speaker 1: as a mom to prevent that. The other thing I

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Speaker 1: did was I moved from Outabama because I wanted to

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Speaker 1: move my children out of polite. I wanted to move

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Speaker 1: my children in the better neighborhood. Let's be honest. Because

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Speaker 1: that now, yeah, I needed to love my step and

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Speaker 1: found my whole strick so that I could be a

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Speaker 1: good mother. I wasn't a good mother. I already myself

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Speaker 1: and I didn't want my two sons too sending the

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Speaker 1: surfers so where because of me. I didn't want them

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Speaker 1: being in jail old rapists. I just don't freddy to

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Speaker 1: my children because my my granddaddy, my less of my mom,

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Speaker 1: them and my uncle's inn. And I was afraid that

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Speaker 1: my two sons would be the next blood my and

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Speaker 1: I come there. I have to stay with them, sade

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Speaker 1: them from jail. My uncle put the prison, all us

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Speaker 1: dropped out. My uncle's on drugs and here we are

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Speaker 1: a polished family. I wanted my sons to marry, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, married somebody because we didn't see that. We

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Speaker 1: didn't we didn't have fogles the fathers in our life.

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Speaker 1: And I wanted them to be the opposite. So what

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Speaker 1: I had to do for that, the stuns, I had

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Speaker 1: to be an example. I want the cordage of my kids.

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Speaker 1: Can understand it. You can go to powderge. I wanted

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Speaker 1: my children to go to Common because what I learned

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Speaker 1: white households is they they they their children go to

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Speaker 1: kinds because it's the rule. Right. Yeah, I wanted my

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Speaker 1: children to go to college. They started me. So if

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Speaker 1: you used to speak to both of my children, they

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Speaker 1: would tell you, oh my god, my mom was out

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Speaker 1: about breaking and facful. We gotta break. They tell you

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Speaker 1: you're going to school to here. I'm not doing mediocricy.

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Speaker 1: We not use the word. I came in here. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna be something. You're a black man. You know, nobody

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Speaker 1: go get you something, Go out here and get it.

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Speaker 1: And when I wrote this book, my children was the

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Speaker 1: first to get a copy of this book, my tooth stocks.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine how to carry your things, your story,

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Speaker 1: telling your child or too male that you was this

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Speaker 1: top of a woman. You ran these threess that you

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Speaker 1: and to see My two stars love me. They Mama,

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Speaker 1: you de five the odds to speak both of them.

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Speaker 1: One is going to graduate and then in a year

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Speaker 1: before they seek you. The third and three year old

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Speaker 1: got two degrees. Come on out, you know, gave me

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Speaker 1: my three grand babies that I got. Oh yeah, tweed

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Speaker 1: and grand babies. Yeah, come on out. There's something else, girl,

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Speaker 1: ain't something never And that's a hopeful another kind of

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Speaker 1: a little that. But you know what I'm happy about

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Speaker 1: that when I leave here, that my children be able

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Speaker 1: to take on this thing that my grand babies are

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Speaker 1: now starting do take next plane geration where they go

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Speaker 1: to college and they be stuff. I'm no longer I've

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Speaker 1: broken that this such to cycle. I've stopped it with me.

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Speaker 1: And that's what I'm so proud of that when I

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Speaker 1: die and they put the dirt on me that this story,

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Speaker 1: this documentary, this book a continue for me to continue

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Speaker 1: through to empower women. If I leave you to day's

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Speaker 1: supposed to, I've done my job. Yes, you have a

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Speaker 1: good place to be in your life. You know I

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Speaker 1: go to the document knee here. You know, I think

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Speaker 1: the three something, her her diff it all, her ain't

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Speaker 1: dropping log just's hot. Like I used to a coupe,

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Speaker 1: I can't get back up. That's so when I'm going

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Speaker 1: to the dogs, and that he's like and that not

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Speaker 1: to be. He said, you have the amazing attitude about

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Speaker 1: everything when I stay, Honey, if I be here today,

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Speaker 1: I done something in twenty years that the average person

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Speaker 1: would never do in their life. Twenty years they come

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Speaker 1: staging one hundred thousand dollars and seaking you know, fifteen

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Speaker 1: thousand books. You know, emmy prosdential warm to stea my

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Speaker 1: two stars and take prison and jail. But that beautiful,

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Speaker 1: amazing to see my two stars become grown. Need to

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Speaker 1: steam two stars educated. If I don't do anything else

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Speaker 1: to suss that they're doing the old gods the story,

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Speaker 1: I've done the know and I'm not even done. I'm

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Speaker 1: just starting. Oh I already No, No, I just started

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Speaker 1: to God and from the skins of name and girl,

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Speaker 1: you gotta go through the moon because you've gotta you

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Speaker 1: gotta believe it. You gotta believe it. So and I

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Speaker 1: know you got another questions. I want to get an

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Speaker 1: a onlineest. What's the next one? No, last for my least.

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Speaker 1: What is your advice to those who are still suffering

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Speaker 1: from their childhood trauma? You know what, you kind of

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Speaker 1: face this thing. Mm. You gotta oh where you are hidden.

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Speaker 1: You gotta take it at your heart, your good, your memory,

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Speaker 1: your bad, hood of the clouds, it under the dog.

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Speaker 1: You gotta go and face that face took the brother.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. I'll tell you what I'll know.

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Speaker 1: And it's gonnakay to cry. No, I don't can't do

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Speaker 1: writing the found it burn it up in my life.

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Speaker 1: I don't care if you writing though the way teared

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Speaker 1: up the baby. You gotta get this thing out of you.

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Speaker 1: This thing is killed you. This thing is said you stuck.

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Speaker 1: Look enough. You gotta be tired or being tired. You

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Speaker 1: gotta be tired or being broken. You gotta be tired

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Speaker 1: of being this disrescycled or stuff this flustered, badd relations

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Speaker 1: stilps know anything. You got to be towded. You gotta

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Speaker 1: be tired of protecting everybody for you and my life,

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Speaker 1: you gotta protect your own hard. Baby. You need to

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Speaker 1: be good for your kids. You need to be strolled

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Speaker 1: for your children. You need to open your eyes and

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Speaker 1: say sire that your children ain't stuff from two. So

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Speaker 1: how you getting from this thing? Baby? You gotta own this.

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Speaker 1: You gotta stay righted, talk about it. Get you getting therapy.

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Speaker 1: You got to do this, say baby, you gotta be

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Speaker 1: d put the work in. You can clyde, you can shout,

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Speaker 1: you can stream, you can holler, and it's stuff to

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Speaker 1: go okay, But when you get up, you gotta look

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Speaker 1: at that me or you gotta forgive you. You gotta

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Speaker 1: forgive you, to give you around your stuff to say stuff,

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Speaker 1: for giving you, for lining your stuff, to be tired

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Speaker 1: of this moment. Forgive your father. But what you put

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Speaker 1: you through, baby, I should stop forgiving you. You get

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Speaker 1: that fair ride and you put it on your head

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Speaker 1: and you start loving you take this stuff to dinner.

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Speaker 1: I stopped buying me roses. I stopped taking me out

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Speaker 1: eating my faith is state. I started going to the

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Speaker 1: movement by myself so that I could Lauren hide feel

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Speaker 1: to love my own company. Baby, Come on, my own company.

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Speaker 1: We need a man, We need somebody to go leave.

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Speaker 1: You gotta get your fought up and go like eat man.

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Speaker 1: You're not ready to love halfter your life. We're not

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Speaker 1: ready to gain your perpetrators half of your mike. You

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Speaker 1: gotta take the other head back. And what I mean

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Speaker 1: by that, it's freedom. And get what that means. You

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Speaker 1: gotta cut people loose. That means you gotta stop making

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Speaker 1: this difference. For Uncle Pop told Uncle touching you, they

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Speaker 1: mean your mama don't STEPTI. They mean that your mama

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Speaker 1: don't own up to it. You gotta keeping moving, baby.

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Speaker 1: You didn't have to go open to the body to

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Speaker 1: you because your anka there the path, everybody else is there.

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Speaker 1: You gotta say to help them boundaries to the people.

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Speaker 1: They are people how to treat you because you're no

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Speaker 1: volga that broken posting no more. You don't lo the

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Speaker 1: look girl, you do know more of that person's hold

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Speaker 1: onto this speapret don't speak with it out, but you

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Speaker 1: could complete. But people ain't gonna like this little you now.

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Speaker 1: So now you's got to get around your raft like

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Speaker 1: you and they I he because I'm one of them. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's must do all that wors you start getting your

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Speaker 1: diverence through your trauma and your tribe, and you want

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Speaker 1: to write a body to tell about and talk about it.

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Speaker 1: You can, you know, But once you get there, and

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Speaker 1: you can rely on your step. That everything in your

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Speaker 1: pay does not have to define you today. And you

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Speaker 1: got to know that. And it's okay to see the

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Speaker 1: fell or some time, let's some cut ups in healing.

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Speaker 1: You're healing. You're not gonna forget it. You're healing or what.

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Speaker 1: I can't promise you, baby, that you can laugh and

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Speaker 1: you can love. You can lead in the bed about

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Speaker 1: your step because speak out your step. You ain't desperate,

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Speaker 1: you don't have the hell I'm nobody to define. Let

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Speaker 1: me tell you something about love and God come with

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Speaker 1: you and you don't need nobody to define it for you.

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Speaker 1: And and I'm an end with this one thing I

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Speaker 1: know for sure the hardest thing in the world. It's

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Speaker 1: a little love someone and don't love them still you

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Speaker 1: would but ever be a bad relationship. You would be

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Speaker 1: needy and cleaning. You're being a chastman because you don't

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Speaker 1: know anything else. But let me tell you something bad

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Speaker 1: bad stay. I don't not one and you don't have

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Speaker 1: luck about this thing while we're here. Uh, this is

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Speaker 1: so much to people that're like, who he should come,

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, he should come. And baby, you know

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Speaker 1: I'm your girl. Had him still on the shippy, Come

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Speaker 1: on all right, yeah, so I want to stay that

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00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 1: before our end is you gotta have a plan because

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Speaker 1: once you come out of stomach, you need a plan

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Speaker 1: in your life. It's just like a you know, you

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Speaker 1: stop drinking and I like to go to AA. Need

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Speaker 1: you know stop? You need a plan in your life.

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Speaker 1: You needed to know when you're feeling it. You know

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Speaker 1: you need to be at the feel that and you

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Speaker 1: need to know where to put it self. It is

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Speaker 1: so good for that, the hairs, to get it out,

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Speaker 1: the hairs to stet up. Am I right? Plans that

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Speaker 1: helps you with coping neck, getting that he helps you

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Speaker 1: with all of that. That's right? What's this? I working?

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Speaker 1: Because you ain't just staying. I tell your stir go

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Speaker 1: home and thank he's gonna go wait or you're gonna

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Speaker 1: feel better. If not, and my wife, it's not gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: But what I did for me right quick was I

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Speaker 1: got a mirror, and I'm looking at this mirror. Everyone

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Speaker 1: off the shower but naked, and I will hult my

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Speaker 1: step with my mother never hurt me. And I will

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Speaker 1: huld my step and said I love you to myself

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Speaker 1: and put my feel on stairs and how do you

380
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Speaker 1: need the real loud today? That they had kicked in people,

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Speaker 1: I was come on, Dada was in the moll walking

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Speaker 1: in with with the aral and you know what I'm

383
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Speaker 1: saying to somebody's behind, you need it. People thought I

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Speaker 1: was a fault. I still talk because the way I

385
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: was well, I didn't even realize. You think my father,

386
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Speaker 1: because every day I started to love me, indcare, repetition

387
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Speaker 1: and my life right, because how long does it take it? Habit?

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Speaker 1: Is it twenty one days? The former habit? M think

389
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Speaker 1: about that? By one day? Ain't the former new habit?

390
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 1: So twenty one days you keep carry instead you loved

391
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Speaker 1: you for to day and my life fifty days. Think

392
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Speaker 1: about that. And I stopped hurting my step. And then

393
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Speaker 1: when I ran, I was all this step love was

394
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Speaker 1: coming in and then and and in what's called And

395
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Speaker 1: I'm like, how I do guys? What? So I want

396
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: to stay when you get in front of when you

397
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: owe it, when you can stay it, when you can

398
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 1: when you can read love and you can act forgiveness. Um,

399
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: and then you got this three in mife, so you

400
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 1: can storm, you can go out and be the best

401
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 1: of you but that's that's that's the process. And I

402
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 1: and I do that for living. I help women, you know,

403
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: right with with this process, you know, um, And that's

404
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: what I do. And and and at least based on

405
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: a auction. You gotta wanted me, you know, you gotta right,

406
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,439
Speaker 1: you gotta warn, you have to want it. I mean

407
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 1: me and you can do this all that long, but

408
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: you gotta want it. You know. Nobody for gave me nothing.

409
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 1: Let me just stare y'all. I nobody hadn't. I didn't

410
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 1: take a short cut. I'm like, I ain't no short

411
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 1: cut to this. You stidn't thay, ain't no dab but

412
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 1: do you this ain't a little bit And then you

413
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 1: won't cay you. It's like take god, it's gotta take

414
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Speaker 1: it all, you know what I'm saying. And now take

415
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Speaker 1: all of them. You know. And it caused with the

416
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 1: good in the day, and I right, it caused with that.

417
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 1: You know, you gonna fail, you go, you're gonna backslide,

418
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Speaker 1: You're gonna have your daddy's well, you're gonna I understand

419
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 1: it's not quick. When I got to Georgia, everything that

420
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 1: I I've done when I was in my trauma. M

421
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 1: I got to George, I made a dope me. You

422
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: see my point of my baking. I mad with me

423
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: everything that I was doing in the street. I'm met

424
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: And but what I'm grateful for? What's my step a wearing?

425
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm not doing this again. Right. I changed

426
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: my zip code and air a code for a reason. Right,

427
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this And that some of the things

428
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 1: that you gotta change your whole life, you really do.

429
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: You gotta change your melto environ me through because what

430
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 1: you can't do is that too many people with too

431
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 1: much faith on your brain facts and I lie. And

432
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 1: you can't go back to the food trying to change

433
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 1: everybody else because you're trying to fly and be and

434
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,679
Speaker 1: let me know, I, like Kat Wallen said, I'm waiting

435
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you can't go back and change everybody, y'all.

436
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: You know I'm my white. You can't do it. That's

437
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: not your battle and something for me, it's not going back.

438
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: Can I start that. It's not going back to things

439
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: that they value you. You're a woman. We tk things

440
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 1: that make us feel bad, and I wie, we know

441
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: places that we go to make make her feel bad.

442
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: So you got to have enough stuff. Woke can now

443
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: put your stuff back in those positions. And if that

444
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: thinks work and that right, it cuts once out to

445
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 1: do that, it turns wealthy. Being a healthy relationship. I've

446
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: never seen it healthy relationship all my life. My mama

447
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 1: cut killed a man and cut it so my momde

448
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: so I've never saw them for fighting and in such

449
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 1: us to stop bub abuts. You know what I mean,

450
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: gonna mess the dollar. Mama got shot fair everything in

451
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: buck up. I didn't even went to jail with my mama.

452
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,400
Speaker 1: Mama was doing there. She took up the jail walk.

453
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 1: Can't you letter to a little girl said to death?

454
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 1: So for me, I never knew her healthy looked like

455
00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 1: am I right? But right now this is healthy? This

456
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 1: is something right here? Oh girl, please, I'm a king

457
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: be I love to say, no, what is my favorite world? No? No,

458
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: thank you? No, no, no, no, I was wondering. No

459
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 1: I ain't I got no father staying. I am very

460
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 1: selective with my energy. You better be select with you

461
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 1: and the people will stop it braining. And in this

462
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: business that we are in, I'm speaking to me like

463
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: quick before I go. People reach out to me. But

464
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 1: I first got start, I wound to stay very about it.

465
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: I know you know that feeling. I'm damn bay about

466
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: come on, God, let's do this together. Right. Oh that's

467
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 1: a fact. Fact Now I had to long. I love

468
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 1: because my patching it's so much right, But I hadn't stay.

469
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 1: I have to stay. No, I mean, I know you

470
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: understand that, you know not today. Let me think about that,

471
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 1: right because now I got a blind to protect, right,

472
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: I got I gotta no, I ain't to protect, you know,

473
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: I got prevential to protect. I'm like, you know, I

474
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,120
Speaker 1: gotta ps thing I worked ten years or through. I can't.

475
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't meet you at the trap house.

476
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't thank Torrance with you no more.

477
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: You know what's that saying? Because I got people looking

478
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 1: at me and and and and reaching out to me.

479
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: So I gotta be what I say. I ain't am

480
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 1: I right then? That takes good energy. I need people

481
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 1: like you to keep me on my farely girl, come

482
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 1: on here, when you're doing that, that's what your raft do.

483
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: So I'm just I'm just leaving it with just so

484
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: when you're learning this saying, you you gotta know where

485
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: you where you speak, I've turned off. I'm speaking engage

486
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: just because sometimes it's not for me, and I learned

487
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: I can't stay aloud. I can't do that, So I

488
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: ain't know. Sometimes hearing stories like this can be very difficult,

489
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: But I just want to say that it really means

490
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: a lot to me to showcase the unwavering perseverance and

491
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 1: determination that is necessary to attain the life that you

492
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: truly deserve, no matter what life made through your way,

493
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: because we all know life be life and okay, However,

494
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: it is imperative to understand the journey of true resilience

495
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: and making sure that you achieve your goals, and I

496
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: believe stories like this convey that message. So to my guests,

497
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: I am so thankful that you came on the show

498
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 1: and you was very transparent because I really do believe

499
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: that storylines can sometimes be lifelines. So I really appreciate

500
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: you for coming on the show. You know, Yeah's be honest,

501
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 1: this thing is fuddly that we got a fradom, we

502
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 1: got people tell me you don't keep you steading me.

503
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: You look so good? You know why that can't blan

504
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: You don't look like your story are you say you

505
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 1: helping me. I have the story and look like that

506
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: I don't look like your story to the listeners. I

507
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: gonna have any questions Thomas to concerns, please make sure

508
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: to email me at hello at the pashg podcast dot com.

509
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: And until next time, everyone, Later you're gonna say bye

510
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: bye the Professional Homegirl podcast. It's a production of the

511
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit

512
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to

513
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 1: your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show,

514
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 1: and you can connect with me on social media at

515
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 1: the pad podcast