1 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: What's going on? 2 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 2: Everyone? Emily here, you are listening to another episode of 3 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 2: Five Minute Friday from Hurdle. 4 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. 5 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 2: Can I tell you that every time I meet a 6 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 2: new hurdler, and by that I mean not someone that's 7 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: necessarily new to the show, but just new to me 8 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 2: and our IRL relationship, they tell me how much they 9 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 2: love the five minute segments, and I appreciate that. I 10 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,600 Speaker 2: want to get that same feedback about the Mondays. I 11 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 2: know that you all love it because I see you 12 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 2: keep coming back, But I want to know who is 13 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 2: it that you want me to talk to. What stories 14 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 2: are you itching to hear? My dms are open over 15 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 2: on social I'm over at Emily a Body and at 16 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 2: Hurdle Podcast, and also always available for you over email. 17 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 2: You can reach to us over at Hello at Hurdle 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 2: dot us. On that note, when you're emailing me, feel 19 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 2: free to send a listener question. As you know, every 20 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 2: five Minute Friday, at the end of this segment, I 21 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 2: answer a question from the community, and I would love 22 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,119 Speaker 2: to answer yours. I'm always hunting for them, So if 23 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 2: there's something on your mind, let me know. Send me 24 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 2: a quick little email over at Hello at hurdle dot us, guys, 25 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 2: a baby moved in nextdoor. Actually a baby moved in 26 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 2: next door, and then a baby is also literally coming 27 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 2: into the world. 28 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 1: I think the baby's here. 29 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 2: My other neighbors also had a baby this week, and 30 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 2: so I am surrounded by young children, which is quite 31 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 2: an interesting experience, not only because I am having so 32 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 2: many thoughts about fertility and whatnot. But I am currently 33 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 2: in the process of deciding whether or not to resign 34 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 2: my lease. And at first I was sold on I'm 35 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 2: not going anywhere. I love this place. Sign me up 36 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 2: for another two years, the terms are great, et cetera. 37 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 2: And then I believe it was on February first evening, 38 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 2: so the new family moved in next door on February first. 39 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: I didn't see that happen. 40 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 2: I was out during the day, but I'm sleeping and 41 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 2: at three fifteen am I wake up to the soft 42 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 2: sounds of a baby crying. 43 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 1: And the thought process that goes through me. 44 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 2: So I'm laying there, I hear a baby crying, and 45 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 2: I'm like, is that a baby crying? Now? Also, I 46 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,000 Speaker 2: really don't hear much in my apartment, which I'm so 47 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 2: thankful for. This is the first nicer building that I've 48 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 2: ever lived in up until this apartment, which, mind you, 49 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 2: I moved to the city in twenty twelve. 50 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: I moved into this building in twenty twenty one. 51 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 2: So every building I lived in up until this point 52 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 2: was a walk up building, super old. Right, this is 53 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,799 Speaker 2: a nicer building, if you will. And so I don't 54 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 2: hear much in my apartment. I'm lying there three fifteen, 55 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 2: I hear baby crying. The thought process goes like, this, 56 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 2: is that a baby crying? Me? 57 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: What day is it? 58 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 2: Me? 59 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: Do I have new neighbors? 60 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 2: Me? Oh my god, do I share a wall for 61 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 2: my bedroom with a baby's nursery? Me? 62 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: Deep sadness. 63 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:24,360 Speaker 2: I'm lying there, and I start to catastrophize, right, I 64 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 2: start to think, Oh my god, this baby's going to 65 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 2: wake me up all the time. I can't do this. 66 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 2: I can't stay here. Maybe I shouldn't sign this least renewal. 67 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 2: This is going to happen every day. The world is spinning, right, 68 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 2: And then I take a deep breath. Well, I get 69 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 2: up from the bed and I go and sit on 70 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 2: the living room couch. And I'm sitting there and I 71 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 2: say something that my life coach always says to me, 72 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 2: which is, if we know that the world is happening 73 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 2: for you, and I know it sounds woo woo, but 74 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 2: if we know the world is happening for you, why 75 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 2: is this happening for you? Maybe I'm supposed to look 76 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 2: around for other apartments. Maybe it's time for me to reevaluate. 77 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 2: And so I go down that route, and then I 78 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 2: also allow myself to go down the path, which is, 79 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 2: maybe it's not going to be that bad. 80 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: Maybe this is just a one off. 81 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 2: Maybe this child isn't a newborn, maybe they're a year old. 82 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 2: I know that the doorman that is going to be 83 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 2: there when I walk downstairs in the morning, he has 84 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 2: a relatively new child. I believe his daughter is now 85 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,919 Speaker 2: two or three years old, so not that new. But 86 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 2: you get what I'm saying. Many people around me, a 87 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 2: lot of insights, a lot of friends with babies, and 88 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I'm going to talk to the village. 89 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 2: So the next day was spent talking to the village. 90 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 2: And I will report that it is now when this 91 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 2: episode comes out February sixth. 92 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: I haven't heard the baby crying. 93 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 2: Since February first, so I'm basically in this inquiry period 94 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:51,919 Speaker 2: of deciding and gathering information, so I know the child 95 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 2: is over one years old. If you have insight on this, 96 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 2: what I'm told is that typically sleeping through the night, 97 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 2: does that mean I'm not going to be woken up 98 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,119 Speaker 2: from time to time? I'm of course not, but again 99 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 2: I love my home. And the takeaway from this, rather 100 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: than me just like spilling all the tea on what's 101 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 2: going on in the building, is that it is human 102 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 2: nature to catastrophize. It is human nature to go quickly, 103 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 2: perhaps into victim mindset. But it is your choice then 104 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 2: whether or not to stay there is your choice then 105 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 2: to say what is within my control to move forward 106 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 2: from this situation. I know over the past few weeks 107 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 2: I've been sharing some insight on a frustrating know that 108 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 2: I got within business, and this is a theme within 109 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 2: life right now for me, as I'm sure it is 110 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,599 Speaker 2: for many of you. This opportunity to say what is 111 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 2: within my control to do with what is happening in 112 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 2: front of me? How can I move forward in the 113 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 2: best way possible? And again asking myself that forever question 114 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 2: what's best for Emily. There are always going to be 115 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,599 Speaker 2: things that are beyond your control. But if you have 116 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 2: the inner knowing to appreciate that when things don't go 117 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 2: as you had hoped, it can still be great. It 118 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 2: can be not what you expected, and it could be better, 119 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 2: and it could be good for you. There's so much 120 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 2: power in that, so much trust me. And I sit 121 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,719 Speaker 2: here and I tell you this, and I would be remiss. 122 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 2: I'm a human being. I struggle with this all the time. 123 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 2: But it's that foundational knowing that helps you escape that 124 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 2: victim mindset, that helps you get to this place of 125 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 2: it's going to be okay, and that is so important. 126 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 2: It's a rep We say this all the time on 127 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,160 Speaker 2: the show. The more reps you do, the stronger your 128 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,919 Speaker 2: muscle gets. How does a muscle strengthen you give it 129 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 2: something to push up against? How does your will strengthen 130 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 2: you give it something to push up against. I felt 131 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 2: lately like there is a lot that I'm pushing up against, 132 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 2: but I know, no, no, that I am strong enough 133 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:58,480 Speaker 2: to handle it and so rio. So my thought prompt 134 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 2: for you this week was one something that you feel like, 135 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,359 Speaker 2: I'm giggling a little bit. Here is imploding around you, 136 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 2: and why might it be happening for you? Maybe imploding 137 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 2: is dramatic. What is one thing that's not going as 138 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 2: you'd hoped right now? And where can you find the 139 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 2: silver lining? And now a listener question. Hey, Emily, I'm 140 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 2: a longtime listener and loved your recent conversation with Gabby Thomas. 141 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for all that you do. With Valentine's 142 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: Day coming up, I'm finding. 143 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 2: It a bit of a hurdle pun intended to maintain 144 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 2: that sense of self compassion while being single. So much 145 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 2: of this holiday is focused on external validation and romantic partnerships, 146 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 2: and honestly, I feel super isolated. I know that it's 147 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 2: just another day, and I also know that I need 148 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 2: to shift my mindset. How do you handle the pressure 149 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 2: of a day like this when you're writing solo? I'd 150 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 2: love some advice on how to flip the script, any 151 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 2: tips on how to conquer this hurdle and feel empowered 152 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 2: instead of just waiting for the day to be over. Wow, 153 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 2: I feel this in my heart, and listen, I get it. 154 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 2: I have been single for I've lost count of so 155 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 2: many Valentines Days now can I tell you that? I mean, 156 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: I don't know if this is the last Valentine's Day 157 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 2: that I was in a relationship and if it is, wow, 158 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 2: I mean it's like over ten years ago. But I 159 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 2: was in a relationship once when the man I was 160 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 2: dating bought me a ladle as a gift on Valentine's Day. 161 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 2: I wish it was thoughtful but also comical, Like you 162 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 2: think about having a partner for Valentine's Day and like 163 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 2: all the things he can bring you, and he literally 164 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 2: showed up instead of flowers, I needed a ladel and 165 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 2: he showed up with a ladel from my kitchen. 166 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 1: I digress. I get it. 167 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 2: Valentine's Day can feel like a forced performance of romantic success. 168 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 2: It's like, let me show everyone all the good parts 169 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 2: of my relationship, when transparently, there's probably a lot of not. 170 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 1: So good parts too. 171 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,679 Speaker 2: Just like so many of the people that you hear 172 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 2: me talk to on the show, elite athletes and entrepreneurs 173 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 2: and experts, they feel defined by their results. Single people, 174 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 2: myself included, can feel defined by their relationship status on 175 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. I'll start with this, The noise on social 176 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 2: media is going to be loud, So protect your peace 177 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 2: and know that. Scrolling through a feed of flower deliveries 178 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 2: and dinner reservations might be a little triggering. Give yourself 179 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 2: permission to say no to the scroll and self love 180 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 2: on Valentine's Day, for many, could just be putting your 181 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 2: phone down, putting it on do not Disturb, and reclaiming 182 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 2: that mental real estate for yourself. Now. Instead of viewing 183 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 2: this day as an absence of a partner, I want 184 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 2: you to view it as a presence of your holistic identity. 185 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 2: You are so much more than your relationship status. You 186 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 2: are a friend, you are an athlete, you are a professional, 187 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,959 Speaker 2: You're a neighbor, a creator. Lean into the parts of 188 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 2: your life that make you feel whole. You get the 189 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 2: opportunity to treat yourself with the same curiosity you'd bring 190 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 2: to a new hobby, your new friend, and ask yourself, 191 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 2: what would generally make me feel good today with zero audience. 192 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 2: Romantic love is only one flavor of connection. I'll say 193 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:16,080 Speaker 2: that again. Romantic love is only one flavor of connection. 194 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 2: You get to use this day to lean intentionally into 195 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 2: your community and transparently. 196 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,559 Speaker 1: You get to do that every day. 197 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 2: So ask yourself, maybe my best way of showing my 198 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 2: self love, showing my community love today is texting a 199 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 2: friend or getting together with someone that I haven't seen 200 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 2: in a while. There are stakeholders in your life that 201 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 2: show up when your quote unquote stadium is empty. Celebrate 202 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 2: them and allow them to celebrate you. We often put 203 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 2: so much pressure on ourselves to win at every holiday, 204 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,319 Speaker 2: and if you feel lonely, that's okay. Do not judge 205 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 2: the feeling. I repeat, do not judge the feeling. Just 206 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 2: be gentle with the process. Use this day to practice 207 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 2: a visualization of where you. 208 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:03,200 Speaker 1: Want to be. 209 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that in a relationship. Self love 210 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 2: is loving yourself is loving the process. We get to 211 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 2: manifest our own happiness by being our own biggest advocate. Remember, seriously, 212 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 2: your identity is vast. You're doing incredible things. Do not 213 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 2: let a silly, little twenty four hour event convince you 214 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 2: any other way. You're worthy. I'm worthy. And that's my 215 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 2: rant about Valentine's Day. 216 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: We've got this. 217 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 2: It's just one day of the year, and if you 218 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 2: reframe it and choose to celebrate yourself on this day, 219 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 2: regardless of your relationship status, even if you're in a relationship, hell, 220 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 2: what an opportunity it is. 221 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 1: I want to hear what you have going on I 222 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: want to chat with you. 223 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 2: Email me over at Hello at hurdle dot us, Tag 224 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 2: me on social at Hurdle Podcast at Emily Body. I 225 00:11:55,640 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 2: got you another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys, next time 226 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 2: you