WEBVTT - Beware of these Deal Breakers!

0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:06.000
<v Speaker 1>All right right around, Welcome to my show.

0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:09.280
<v Speaker 2>I am a Marara and you're listening to Exactly Amada,

0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:12.320
<v Speaker 2>a production of iHeart. Thank you so much for tuning in,

0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:15.360
<v Speaker 2>and as usual, don't forget us. Don't forget to give

0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:19.520
<v Speaker 2>us those five stars because jommees and I always give

0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:22.560
<v Speaker 2>you the best of me. Subscribe to the podcast, and

0:00:22.600 --> 0:00:24.680
<v Speaker 2>of course go check us out on the YouTube channel

0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:28.880
<v Speaker 2>by searching for Mike Coltuda podcast and clicking on Exactly

0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:31.680
<v Speaker 2>A Mada. With that being said, I've had like three

0:00:31.720 --> 0:00:35.240
<v Speaker 2>red bulls. I am ome, I am running, and I

0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:37.720
<v Speaker 2>had Cuban coffee. You already know that I am with.

0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:39.599
<v Speaker 1>The shit today.

0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:43.280
<v Speaker 2>And Don says, ever since I started this podcast, I

0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:45.320
<v Speaker 2>want to do something where I was organic, I was

0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:48.159
<v Speaker 2>really me. I was just you know, transparent and this

0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:51.479
<v Speaker 2>is exactly a Mana. But I can't do this show

0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:55.920
<v Speaker 2>without my producers that have become my friends. They are

0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:59.000
<v Speaker 2>my half of my brain. They literally are half of

0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:04.959
<v Speaker 2>my brain. And that is Alex and Arlen Better before

0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:06.480
<v Speaker 2>I liked I don't like the Alex and Arlene.

0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:08.680
<v Speaker 1>I like it better when it was what was it, Alex?

0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.000
<v Speaker 1>It was a.

0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:11.880
<v Speaker 3>Big sexy for me of course.

0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:15.280
<v Speaker 1>Big sexy and Arlene, what was your sexy name?

0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:16.000
<v Speaker 4>Miss nasty?

0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:19.119
<v Speaker 2>We always change your sexy name. We need your sexy name.

0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:21.480
<v Speaker 2>You know what, guys, let me know what world name

0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:24.360
<v Speaker 2>should we give Arlene her sexy name on exactly amada

0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:28.600
<v Speaker 2>on social media on Instagram, Twitter or something good? Yeah,

0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:34.600
<v Speaker 2>something good? What should be Arlene's sexy name? Anyways, how

0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:35.319
<v Speaker 2>have you guys been?

0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:40.160
<v Speaker 5>You woke me up like I drank a million rebels

0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.720
<v Speaker 5>because you are already before we even started recording, you

0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:49.400
<v Speaker 5>were already dropping some gems about deal breakers. Learned it

0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:52.840
<v Speaker 5>like bad breath in the morning. I didn't realize you

0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:53.880
<v Speaker 5>were into that.

0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's how you know if you really love someone,

0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:59.560
<v Speaker 2>you just had to get them that breath in the morning.

0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:03.000
<v Speaker 1>And if they still love you that, oh my god,

0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:06.680
<v Speaker 1>that morning, that morning saliva.

0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:08.160
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god.

0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:09.399
<v Speaker 1>But it ain't good.

0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:12.040
<v Speaker 2>It ain't good for everybody. Some people can pull it

0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:15.200
<v Speaker 2>off like their breath is still like it's it's a little,

0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.760
<v Speaker 2>it's a little stint a little, but it's okay.

0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:20.400
<v Speaker 1>And some of y'all, y'all need to not do it.

0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:24.120
<v Speaker 2>Y'all's breath is reading the detox and it'd be like

0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.720
<v Speaker 2>that morning, Saliva'd be like, you just had like a

0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:28.560
<v Speaker 2>whole spoonful of yogurt.

0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:32.280
<v Speaker 1>It's just too much, Like I can't do it. I

0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:34.280
<v Speaker 1>just don't want to. I do drool.

0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:36.080
<v Speaker 2>I drew.

0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:38.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sister.

0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:42.240
<v Speaker 2>By the way, yo, what what are a couple of

0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:45.200
<v Speaker 2>deal breakers, Alex, have you ever had any deal breakers

0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:46.040
<v Speaker 2>with any girls?

0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:47.600
<v Speaker 1>They'd be like, yo, I can't do it.

0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:51.800
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, you know that's a that's a good question.

0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.840
<v Speaker 3>I am not a very picky person, but Jesus, I

0:02:55.880 --> 0:03:03.280
<v Speaker 3>would say, don't be super jealous and crazy. I hate that. Like, yeah,

0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.280
<v Speaker 3>that's a deal breaker for me. If I notice off

0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:13.120
<v Speaker 3>the bat that you're over possessive and at that day

0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.400
<v Speaker 3>right that that is a turnoff. That is a deal breaker.

0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:18.680
<v Speaker 3>That is a no. No. I don't like drama. So

0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:23.239
<v Speaker 3>all of that combined is like I run the opposite direction.

0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:26.440
<v Speaker 2>But if you've noticed women, like in your case, if

0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:28.240
<v Speaker 2>you've ever had that situation.

0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Happen to you, that means you have a good dingling.

0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:30.960
<v Speaker 1>Because if your dingling.

0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.919
<v Speaker 2>Is whack and doesn't it they be like, yo, I

0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:34.840
<v Speaker 2>don't care what you do, want to do whatever you

0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:35.400
<v Speaker 2>want to care.

0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:38.440
<v Speaker 1>If she's only like where you at, Where are you at?

0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:38.920
<v Speaker 1>Who are you with?

0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:39.200
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:41.480
<v Speaker 2>Hell no, he's giving me daing somebody else. And then

0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:42.480
<v Speaker 2>that's when you go crazy.

0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:47.000
<v Speaker 3>That's exactly how it happens. You know, I'm not gonna

0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:48.400
<v Speaker 3>lie or.

0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:54.360
<v Speaker 5>You were doing something suspicious. Why we cause there's a

0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:58.360
<v Speaker 5>difference between being jealousy and just trying to hold you accountable.

0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:00.480
<v Speaker 1>Can that what I mean being?

0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:03.320
<v Speaker 2>And if you haven't figured it out, today's topic is

0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:08.200
<v Speaker 2>deal breakers and the behaviors that sometimes we encounter when

0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:11.360
<v Speaker 2>we're dating, hookups or just when you're playing you know, dating.

0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:15.840
<v Speaker 2>And honestly, I've had a couple of deal breakers. But Arleen,

0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:17.800
<v Speaker 2>what are some of the deal breakers for you?

0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:21.640
<v Speaker 4>Oh no, I'm nervous.

0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:23.279
<v Speaker 1>I have high standards.

0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.240
<v Speaker 2>Give me some Let me see their high standards. Let

0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:27.440
<v Speaker 2>me see, okay, I.

0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:31.560
<v Speaker 4>I can't no, mam. Second, thetis I don't.

0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:35.400
<v Speaker 5>Like, okay, like to even the littlest even the littlest lie,

0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:38.039
<v Speaker 5>because if you can say one little lie to me,

0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:40.360
<v Speaker 5>that's like you can say anything right.

0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:45.720
<v Speaker 2>Deal Breakers for me are, for example, bad hygiene is

0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:47.960
<v Speaker 2>a deal breaker. And if you have a bad hygiene

0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:51.400
<v Speaker 2>one or two days or you know you're having I

0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:52.080
<v Speaker 2>understand it.

0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:52.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm cool with it.

0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.560
<v Speaker 2>For example, when I had my girls, my hormones were

0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:58.360
<v Speaker 2>all over the place, not during my pregnancy, but after

0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.640
<v Speaker 2>for like for like a mon month afterwards, I don't

0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:05.960
<v Speaker 2>know sometimes what is happening. That's not like me. And

0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:09.039
<v Speaker 2>then afterwards yet got back into place. But you have

0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:11.840
<v Speaker 2>to understand your body is going through a transformation. But

0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:14.520
<v Speaker 2>for men, if you have a moment that being, you know,

0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:17.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't even mind. I love sometimes to have my

0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:18.920
<v Speaker 2>man smell a little funky ogain.

0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:19.599
<v Speaker 1>I like the funk.

0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:20.640
<v Speaker 3>I like the girls.

0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.560
<v Speaker 2>If you're sweaty and you know you have sweaty balls

0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:27.960
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, you know, you have a little.

0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:29.400
<v Speaker 1>Must come get.

0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:30.239
<v Speaker 3>That's moment.

0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:39.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm let me smell colado. Sometimes it's okay.

0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.560
<v Speaker 2>Now if the funk is real, you gotta go handle.

0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:46.520
<v Speaker 2>But hygiene is the thing. Teeth is a thing. If

0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:49.120
<v Speaker 2>your teeth, teeth is a thing. For me, I don't

0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:52.200
<v Speaker 2>want to get put my mouth, you know, all in it.

0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:55.440
<v Speaker 2>I just it makes me feel like I'm okay. Just

0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:57.560
<v Speaker 2>from looking at it, I'm already itching, Like, don't put

0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:00.400
<v Speaker 2>your mouth any word. No, I don't want to do it.

0:06:01.320 --> 0:06:04.279
<v Speaker 2>Mons that I just don't they want to.

0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:07.000
<v Speaker 5>You want to make sure that they that they've cleaned

0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:08.520
<v Speaker 5>their teeth, that they're flossying and brushing.

0:06:08.760 --> 0:06:14.159
<v Speaker 2>You're talking to your teeth and I can't even imagine.

0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:17.560
<v Speaker 2>If you're kissing or doing things in certain places, I

0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:19.920
<v Speaker 2>feel like the bacteria. I just don't want to do it.

0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:22.760
<v Speaker 1>So that's one. Nails.

0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:28.960
<v Speaker 2>If your nails are really dirty, you know, I don't mind.

0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:33.000
<v Speaker 2>But sometimes you you look like you've been working soon,

0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:36.360
<v Speaker 2>super nasty that I start to itch. I feel like

0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:37.840
<v Speaker 2>it's a bacteria. I don't want to do it.

0:06:38.760 --> 0:06:41.760
<v Speaker 3>Into beards. I love beards.

0:06:41.920 --> 0:06:43.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't mind the beards. I don't mind the being.

0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:45.640
<v Speaker 3>That's not a deal breaker for you. You're a lot.

0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:48.080
<v Speaker 3>You could go with a guy that's clean shaven or

0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:48.919
<v Speaker 3>a guy that hasn't.

0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:52.440
<v Speaker 2>I like metrosexual men in that aspect. Get that to pericure,

0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.520
<v Speaker 2>to manicure, get you know. I think that's important on

0:06:55.560 --> 0:07:04.880
<v Speaker 2>both sides. What else is a deal breaker?

0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:09.200
<v Speaker 1>Baby mama's You know, every baby mama is a hot mess.

0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:10.960
<v Speaker 1>You have to have your things under control.

0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:12.680
<v Speaker 2>You don't want anybody who's gonna be aut up in

0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.600
<v Speaker 2>your relationship while you guys are trying to date, indicate

0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:15.960
<v Speaker 2>every time you're on in the day, she.

0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:18.480
<v Speaker 1>They come, get the kid, or through where are you at?

0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:19.680
<v Speaker 1>There's some mom.

0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:22.480
<v Speaker 2>There's some ex ex girlfriends, ex boyfriends that can be

0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:26.360
<v Speaker 2>very toxic and can mess up your relationship. So those

0:07:26.360 --> 0:07:27.600
<v Speaker 2>are definitely deal breakers.

0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:33.760
<v Speaker 3>So so if if they have an old significant other,

0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:39.080
<v Speaker 3>they most most likely a mom, baby mama, right, that's

0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:41.280
<v Speaker 3>what we call them, baby mom or baby daddies or

0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:44.160
<v Speaker 3>baby daddy's right. How much do you do you take

0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:46.600
<v Speaker 3>before it is a deal breaker, because you're not starting

0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:49.800
<v Speaker 3>it off as a deal breaker, right, right, It's something

0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:51.960
<v Speaker 3>that maybe a month and you're like, fair, I don't

0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:54.960
<v Speaker 3>want this anymore, right, correct? So for you, have you

0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:58.520
<v Speaker 3>experienced that where you've had a dated someone that maybe

0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:02.520
<v Speaker 3>had a sign X significant other that was just out

0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:03.200
<v Speaker 3>of their mind.

0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I did it once.

0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:08.040
<v Speaker 2>Every time we would go out, they get specifically when

0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:11.120
<v Speaker 2>we when we were out, Yes, the cthographer, the baby,

0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:14.760
<v Speaker 2>and that's weird. I'm pro baby. There's some women that

0:08:14.920 --> 0:08:18.120
<v Speaker 2>can get over the relationship. They can't get over their X.

0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:19.880
<v Speaker 2>They can't get over the fact that they've moved on,

0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.720
<v Speaker 2>especially if if they still have feelings for that person.

0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:25.800
<v Speaker 2>So they'll use their children as a way to try

0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:29.600
<v Speaker 2>to control their you know, their X, like come get

0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.600
<v Speaker 2>the baby, I need a babysitter, or I need to

0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:33.440
<v Speaker 2>do this, or I need to do that or yeah okay,

0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:36.280
<v Speaker 2>got And those things can be very good, okay, damaging

0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:38.160
<v Speaker 2>because you could really have something good. But if you

0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:40.959
<v Speaker 2>don't know how to control that X part of your

0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:44.040
<v Speaker 2>life that's somewhat is still part of your life, then

0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.000
<v Speaker 2>that is definitely an issue.

0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:48.960
<v Speaker 3>So you know what I want. I want to know, honestly,

0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:51.840
<v Speaker 3>I want to be a fly on the wall somewhere

0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:54.840
<v Speaker 3>and I would like to figure out whose deal breaker

0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:59.280
<v Speaker 3>you are, which sitting out there right now saying uh

0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.000
<v Speaker 3>uh that to the breaker I cannot be with a

0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:03.880
<v Speaker 3>mata like I want to. I would like to know,

0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:09.320
<v Speaker 3>oh yeah, yeah, so who's using a matter as their

0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:11.199
<v Speaker 3>deal breaker right like I, you know, because a lot

0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:14.120
<v Speaker 3>of guys might not be able to take on the

0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:17.080
<v Speaker 3>mantle of like you have a very busy lifestyle. You're

0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.920
<v Speaker 3>you're flying around, you're doing this, you have kids, you

0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:21.520
<v Speaker 3>you know, just a new business.

0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:23.319
<v Speaker 1>By the way, I just started a new business.

0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:27.000
<v Speaker 2>Let me promote who has Royal Twins Transportations. I am

0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.760
<v Speaker 2>now renting vehicles, so you have to sell you memore,

0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:31.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm always looking for something else to do, but I

0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.720
<v Speaker 2>definitely get it. You know what would be interesting, Alex,

0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:37.720
<v Speaker 2>Give me the reasons why you think you would be

0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:39.040
<v Speaker 2>a deal breaker to someone.

0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:41.959
<v Speaker 3>Oh, man, I'll tell you what. Give me your flaw,

0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:46.360
<v Speaker 3>I'll tell you what I am. I like this because

0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:48.360
<v Speaker 3>I can tell you that I have a lot of

0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:50.560
<v Speaker 3>flaws and one of them is a lot of them,

0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:52.760
<v Speaker 3>A lot of them could be. I'm not as super

0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:54.280
<v Speaker 3>organized as I think that I am.

0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:54.880
<v Speaker 2>I am.

0:09:56.480 --> 0:10:01.240
<v Speaker 3>Thriving chaos, right, so I have what's called control chaos.

0:10:01.320 --> 0:10:04.680
<v Speaker 3>It's everywhere. Things might be everywhere, but I know where

0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.079
<v Speaker 3>they're at, not like messages, like on the bed because

0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.200
<v Speaker 3>at all what I'm doing, the things that i'm My

0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:11.000
<v Speaker 3>mom is just.

0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:14.880
<v Speaker 1>Like but she knows exactly where everything is under everything.

0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:16.040
<v Speaker 1>So you're one of those.

0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So mentally, that's where I'm at. One and two.

0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:23.040
<v Speaker 3>I think I might be a deal breaker because I

0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:25.400
<v Speaker 3>did have kids. You know a lot of girls. I

0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:27.640
<v Speaker 3>don't know. You tell me about it. I think that

0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:29.480
<v Speaker 3>I was always a deal breaker because I had a

0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.360
<v Speaker 3>past and I had two older daughters, So to me,

0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.400
<v Speaker 3>in my head, I thought maybe that was a deal breaker,

0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:35.880
<v Speaker 3>because girls always.

0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:39.880
<v Speaker 1>Just want the deal breaker is not your babies? Is

0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:40.920
<v Speaker 1>the baby moms?

0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:42.120
<v Speaker 3>Is she the baby mom's right?

0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:42.880
<v Speaker 1>Is she cool?

0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:43.520
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:46.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, she's she is now. But back then she wasn't bad.

0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:50.920
<v Speaker 3>She would never meddle in my relationships. But but you yeah, yeah, yeah,

0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:53.480
<v Speaker 3>especially since I was a dad, they came first. They

0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:54.600
<v Speaker 3>always came first, you know.

0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:57.800
<v Speaker 2>And let me tell you something, the woman that you

0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:02.320
<v Speaker 2>date that feel some type of way about your children

0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:04.959
<v Speaker 2>as a man, if you are a man and you're

0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:07.760
<v Speaker 2>dating a female, doesn't matter how fat her ass is,

0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:10.040
<v Speaker 2>how is, it doesn't matter about none of those things,

0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:12.320
<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter how pretty she is not. So if you

0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.040
<v Speaker 2>say I need to go take care of my kids

0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:16.080
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, or your kids are your priority and she

0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:17.559
<v Speaker 2>has an issue with them.

0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Red flag.

0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:21.280
<v Speaker 2>Cut her ass off immediately. Don't even question it, don't don't.

0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:23.400
<v Speaker 2>It's not going to get any better, is only going

0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:26.640
<v Speaker 2>to get worse. As a man, as a father, as

0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:30.120
<v Speaker 2>a woman, as a mother, your children are your priority.

0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:34.880
<v Speaker 2>Everything after comes out. So if she has a problem

0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:36.679
<v Speaker 2>with him, mama, you gotta go out what that is.

0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:38.480
<v Speaker 2>So my kids are always going to be mine's. You're

0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:40.280
<v Speaker 2>here today, we don't know about tomorrow back.

0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:42.880
<v Speaker 5>So would it be the same if if for a

0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:46.079
<v Speaker 5>man dating you, I'm out since you have children and

0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:49.800
<v Speaker 5>you have a relationship or you know sometimes you know,

0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:55.040
<v Speaker 5>contentious relationship with your ex him getting jealous of the

0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:56.160
<v Speaker 5>relationship with him.

0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.600
<v Speaker 1>I haven't seen the donor in months. I haven't seen

0:11:59.600 --> 0:11:59.920
<v Speaker 1>the donor.

0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.560
<v Speaker 2>He's he hasn't even seen my daughters. I said, that'sn't

0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:05.640
<v Speaker 2>even even there'sn't even a question. That's never gonna happen.

0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:06.439
<v Speaker 2>He doesn't even care.

0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:08.840
<v Speaker 1>My kids come first, and my kids are part of me,

0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:10.160
<v Speaker 1>and I am a package.

0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.360
<v Speaker 2>Before my biggest daughter was my oldest daughter was my mother,

0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:15.160
<v Speaker 2>and I always said, this is the two for one deal.

0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:18.160
<v Speaker 1>You want me, then I get an I know, I

0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.120
<v Speaker 1>know it's hard, but we all live together.

0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:23.760
<v Speaker 2>No, okay, you want to have privacy, you want privacy, mole.

0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.079
<v Speaker 2>I can for a day, but as soon as it's done,

0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.199
<v Speaker 2>she's coming back. You know why, because I know that

0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:32.040
<v Speaker 2>this sounds terrible. But for me, my mother, as a

0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:35.080
<v Speaker 2>single mother, as her only child, she would never leave

0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:35.920
<v Speaker 2>me for a man.

0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.240
<v Speaker 1>Therefore I shall never leave her for a man. So

0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:40.240
<v Speaker 1>you'll say they ain't.

0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Got pass that they had to give me my viva Sola.

0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:45.400
<v Speaker 2>Sue has you know, for her to get old by

0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:48.520
<v Speaker 2>herself somewhere in an apartment and house by herself, and I'm.

0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:50.360
<v Speaker 1>Over here with my husband and my daughter's living my

0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:51.400
<v Speaker 1>best life. Yeah, yeah, Sola.

0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.200
<v Speaker 2>I want everything that I have and the woman that

0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:54.520
<v Speaker 2>I am today is thanks to her.

0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:58.520
<v Speaker 1>So we all live together and that's it, no matter what.

0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:02.079
<v Speaker 5>If you were just doing your thing, don't don't think

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:03.880
<v Speaker 5>of your mom as as part of the equation.

0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:09.720
<v Speaker 1>But the man you were dating and they would have

0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:10.960
<v Speaker 1>the same, oh.

0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:14.960
<v Speaker 2>Really, you will be would That's not a deal breaker.

0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:15.200
<v Speaker 1>It's not.

0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.640
<v Speaker 2>And if my mom and her and his mom don't

0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:21.400
<v Speaker 2>get along, y'all better figure it out. You'all better scream

0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:25.280
<v Speaker 2>at each other. Y'all's gonna figure it out because family

0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:27.880
<v Speaker 2>is family. We can argue, we can fight, but at

0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:29.280
<v Speaker 2>the end of the day, we can't get rid of

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.200
<v Speaker 2>each other. This is what it is. God put us

0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:34.079
<v Speaker 2>together and now we're stuck. So let's figure it out.

0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:37.080
<v Speaker 2>And that's just it. So that's for me, Arlene. What

0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.240
<v Speaker 2>are some deal breakers for you? Like meaning like the

0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:41.319
<v Speaker 2>reason why you would be a deal breaker for someone.

0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:43.280
<v Speaker 1>So many deal breakers.

0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.600
<v Speaker 4>I think I have high standards for men.

0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.760
<v Speaker 5>I've dated a lot and I've been through a lot

0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.559
<v Speaker 5>of bullshit, so I'm already like, I know what I want,

0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:56.320
<v Speaker 5>I know what I don't want. So if you're not

0:13:56.600 --> 0:14:01.280
<v Speaker 5>willing to give me, I'm willing to compromise. But I'm

0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:04.520
<v Speaker 5>too tired. I'm too tired, and I'd rather live a

0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:08.120
<v Speaker 5>peaceful life on my own than dealing with some bullshit.

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:11.040
<v Speaker 2>Well, so you have high standards, would be your deal breaker?

0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean that's not good. It's like, oh, I'm too loving.

0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:14.520
<v Speaker 2>You know that's a deal breaker.

0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:18.000
<v Speaker 1>No, that's not a deal breaker. Perfect what else? Oh

0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:23.200
<v Speaker 1>one of reasons you're picked. I'm not picky of it.

0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:24.000
<v Speaker 4>Let's see.

0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:27.440
<v Speaker 5>I I will tell you this. I dated this guy

0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:31.040
<v Speaker 5>many years ago, and he told me, if we're gonna fight,

0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:35.320
<v Speaker 5>don't fight dirty. You're a fighter, because when we would

0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:37.520
<v Speaker 5>fight was I would get you know, I would melt

0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:39.520
<v Speaker 5>awa and I would say some things that maybe I

0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:44.600
<v Speaker 5>would regret. So he told me, he's like, I'm down

0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:47.040
<v Speaker 5>to fight, and we're down. I'm down to argue. Just

0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:50.280
<v Speaker 5>don't fight dirty. And I never forgot that and.

0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:53.400
<v Speaker 2>So you'll say all the things that he told you

0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.320
<v Speaker 2>in his vulnerable state, like oh, you know what, and

0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:58.360
<v Speaker 2>then when you fight, you're like, oh, you know, I

0:14:58.480 --> 0:14:59.080
<v Speaker 2>just I would.

0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.440
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, Oh I would back in the day.

0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.320
<v Speaker 4>I don't do it now. I'm more peaceful. I'm a lover,

0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:05.200
<v Speaker 4>not a fighter now.

0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:07.880
<v Speaker 1>But yay, okay, well I'll tell you.

0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:10.160
<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you some reasons why I would be a

0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:11.080
<v Speaker 2>deal breaker for someone.

0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:14.720
<v Speaker 1>I am very ambitious. Sometimes that could be an issue

0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:15.920
<v Speaker 1>because sometimes.

0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:17.600
<v Speaker 2>You're like, yeah, you said that the goal would be

0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:19.920
<v Speaker 2>to get this. Yeah, that's it, and I'm like, no,

0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:22.720
<v Speaker 2>let's do this and let's do that. You know, I

0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:25.440
<v Speaker 2>make myself too busy, which sometimes I run myself too thin,

0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:28.920
<v Speaker 2>and that can affect the relationship because sometimes you just

0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:30.240
<v Speaker 2>want to have some relaxing time.

0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:32.560
<v Speaker 1>You just want to chill. And I can chill and

0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:33.840
<v Speaker 1>watch a movie and Netflix.

0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:36.480
<v Speaker 2>But in between the movie, I'm on my phone researching

0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 2>something or writing something, or texting something or working.

0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:41.520
<v Speaker 1>It's hard for me to turn off the work button off.

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.520
<v Speaker 2>And now that I am a mother, it's hard for

0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:45.680
<v Speaker 2>me to turn off the mom and working button off.

0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.280
<v Speaker 1>My mother can sometimes be a deal breaker.

0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.320
<v Speaker 2>A lot of men don't want to date someone that

0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, we're making out and my mom is in

0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:56.520
<v Speaker 2>the kitchen, you know, like.

0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:57.440
<v Speaker 1>What are they is doing?

0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:01.120
<v Speaker 2>Like we're still fifteen, which something can be an issue.

0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:03.960
<v Speaker 2>I travel a lot. Traveling a lot can sometimes be

0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:07.080
<v Speaker 2>an issue because I may be here. I may tell you, babe,

0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:09.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to leave for two three days, and next

0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:11.120
<v Speaker 2>thing you know, I left for a month or two.

0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:13.960
<v Speaker 2>You know, you have to be willing to be able

0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:16.720
<v Speaker 2>to travel. There's a lot of things that come with

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.920
<v Speaker 2>a woman that's successful, with a woman that's independent, with

0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.880
<v Speaker 2>a woman that's an entrepreneur, with a woman that you know,

0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:25.120
<v Speaker 2>with all these things. It doesn't make me perfect. They

0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:27.480
<v Speaker 2>get get oh, I think I'm so perfect? No Branada.

0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.040
<v Speaker 1>But I think that moving forward, now that I do

0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:30.440
<v Speaker 1>know what.

0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.920
<v Speaker 2>I want where I stand in my life, I will

0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 2>be very direct. I am a woman that is meant

0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:37.760
<v Speaker 2>to be great, And if you want a woman that

0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:39.280
<v Speaker 2>is meant to be great, I want you to hop

0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.240
<v Speaker 2>on this boat with me. We're going to do this together.

0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:44.320
<v Speaker 2>But unfortunately, these are the things that come with me.

0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:46.800
<v Speaker 2>And it's funny because when it's a woman that's going

0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:49.680
<v Speaker 2>through it. It's it sounds different. But when it's a

0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:53.040
<v Speaker 2>man that's a successful man that travels, it does all

0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:55.120
<v Speaker 2>these things, it's like, you know, deal with it. He's

0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:58.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, a le nombre. So sometimes it could be

0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:00.640
<v Speaker 2>that little issue. But here is a list of a

0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.680
<v Speaker 2>couple of deal breakers, and let's break them down just

0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:06.520
<v Speaker 2>a little bit because the list is pretty long. Addiction

0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.800
<v Speaker 2>of any kind is that a deal breaker for you?

0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:12.960
<v Speaker 2>He's addicted to sex, drugs, licker.

0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:17.320
<v Speaker 3>I mean, if it's liquor and stuff like that, I

0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.240
<v Speaker 3>don't care. Yeah, video games don't bother me, liquor doesn't.

0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:23.200
<v Speaker 3>It doesn't bother me. Party bothers me. Because I'd like to.

0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:27.040
<v Speaker 1>Have shopping, shopping, shopping.

0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:28.320
<v Speaker 3>It's okay shopping. Do you like shopping?

0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:29.119
<v Speaker 1>Right me?

0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:29.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm kind of built like a man. I know

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:34.159
<v Speaker 2>exactly what I want. I go and I get it,

0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:34.720
<v Speaker 2>and I'm out.

0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:47.960
<v Speaker 3>Right same right because I'm a man. So you know, no, there's.

0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:49.919
<v Speaker 2>Give me options one, two, three. If I have like

0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:53.359
<v Speaker 2>options one through Z, you know a brew, I'm just like,

0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:56.840
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I can't decide. So I'm not a shopaholic.

0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:59.000
<v Speaker 2>If you were in decisive, is that a deal breaker

0:17:59.000 --> 0:17:59.360
<v Speaker 2>for y'all.

0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:00.960
<v Speaker 4>It's annoying.

0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:04.560
<v Speaker 3>It is defind it goes hand in handled what you

0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:07.760
<v Speaker 3>just said with giving me too many options as being

0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:11.280
<v Speaker 3>undecisive as hell, if you're giving me thirty options.

0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think that the issue. If you're undecisive, it's

0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:16.040
<v Speaker 2>definitely not a deal breaker. But it is annoying, like

0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:19.440
<v Speaker 2>Arlene said, because it's like yes or no, it's not.

0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:21.919
<v Speaker 1>Well, let me think, let me see. I'm just sure

0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:22.359
<v Speaker 1>to see.

0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:26.440
<v Speaker 3>It's where do you want to worst question ever? Where

0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:28.480
<v Speaker 3>do you want to go eat? And it goes back

0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:31.120
<v Speaker 3>and forth for an hour. No one knows what the

0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.120
<v Speaker 3>freak they want to eat? And it's like, now you pick,

0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:34.960
<v Speaker 3>It's okay, I'll eat whatever you want. They're like, but

0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:37.399
<v Speaker 3>I'm asking you because I need advice to let me

0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:38.960
<v Speaker 3>know exactly.

0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:39.399
<v Speaker 1>I already learned.

0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:39.640
<v Speaker 2>Mine.

0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.320
<v Speaker 1>My to go is always Italian. Give me Italian food.

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:46.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because in the Italian you can have satad, pasta,

0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:48.240
<v Speaker 2>this chicken, whatever.

0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:50.359
<v Speaker 1>So I always like to go for the Italian.

0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:52.360
<v Speaker 2>But the thing is, what about it if you ask

0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:55.439
<v Speaker 2>and they're like, oh no, I don't want to eat that.

0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:58.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there's the indecisive. There you go.

0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:01.600
<v Speaker 1>There okay. What about lack of humor?

0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:07.320
<v Speaker 5>Oh you need somebody although you know, sometimes jokes can

0:19:07.359 --> 0:19:09.720
<v Speaker 5>come in at an inappropriate time and you're like, I'm

0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:13.639
<v Speaker 5>bered serious, working exactly, but you need to have a

0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:14.200
<v Speaker 5>little humor.

0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:16.399
<v Speaker 4>I like men with humor.

0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:21.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, me too, No, I like men with humor.

0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:24.680
<v Speaker 2>However, I have dated someone. I did it someone for

0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:26.639
<v Speaker 2>like a week, and I just couldn't do it.

0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:29.880
<v Speaker 1>You just laughed for no reason. What is so funny?

0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:30.840
<v Speaker 3>Like? Shut up?

0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:34.680
<v Speaker 2>Everything was just for everything. I'm just dude, I didn't

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:36.280
<v Speaker 2>say anything. What what is funny?

0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:41.480
<v Speaker 1>It's all the In the beginning, it's like and you

0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:42.560
<v Speaker 1>laugh along, but.

0:19:42.520 --> 0:19:47.080
<v Speaker 3>Then afterwards do you think that because a lot of it,

0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:50.159
<v Speaker 3>a lot of that little like towers like laughing and

0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:55.920
<v Speaker 3>could be nervousness. It's and it's hidden. Nobody will ever

0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:56.720
<v Speaker 3>understand it.

0:19:57.440 --> 0:19:59.640
<v Speaker 1>But you need to take your nervous ass else.

0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:02.040
<v Speaker 4>I want to do it.

0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:07.239
<v Speaker 3>You're indecisive, you lack humor, and sometimes you have too

0:20:07.280 --> 0:20:08.199
<v Speaker 3>much humor. I hate you.

0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:11.159
<v Speaker 2>Get here, I am done. How about this one. This

0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:13.280
<v Speaker 2>one's a good one. What about people that are broken?

0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:16.680
<v Speaker 1>Broken? Let's break it down. Broken is like, oh, you know.

0:20:18.640 --> 0:20:21.480
<v Speaker 2>You had issues in your childhood or you know, you

0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:24.639
<v Speaker 2>come from a broken home and that lack of whatever

0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:27.760
<v Speaker 2>whatever now has affected you as an adult. Those people

0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:29.840
<v Speaker 2>that come go, Okay, you need therapy, Okay, you have

0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:35.800
<v Speaker 2>all this drama, all this hurt, you know, held up inside.

0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:39.800
<v Speaker 1>Are you describing me? Oh, Aleen, are you broken?

0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:43.600
<v Speaker 4>I'm kidding now. I feel like everybody's a little broken.

0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:46.159
<v Speaker 1>Yes, everybody is a little broken. Though I'm not.

0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:48.960
<v Speaker 4>Everybody's a little broken. I'm going to therapy right now.

0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:51.400
<v Speaker 5>I got childhood issues that I'm dealing with.

0:20:51.680 --> 0:20:53.840
<v Speaker 1>Girls, I'm dealing with it.

0:20:54.160 --> 0:20:54.440
<v Speaker 5>Well.

0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:57.560
<v Speaker 1>I know I definitely am broken. I am. I don't

0:20:57.600 --> 0:20:58.600
<v Speaker 1>know if I'm healing. I don't.

0:20:59.359 --> 0:20:59.639
<v Speaker 2>You know what.

0:20:59.680 --> 0:21:00.520
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you this much.

0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:04.719
<v Speaker 2>My mother always said just deal with it, deal with it.

0:21:04.720 --> 0:21:06.359
<v Speaker 2>It was it was like her way. It wasn't so

0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:06.800
<v Speaker 2>much of it.

0:21:07.080 --> 0:21:08.040
<v Speaker 1>That's life. Deal with it.

0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:11.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there's people going through worse things than you, and

0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:13.879
<v Speaker 2>you kind of feel like you just move forward, you

0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:14.560
<v Speaker 2>move on, but.

0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Doesn't mean that you've healed.

0:21:15.560 --> 0:21:17.400
<v Speaker 2>You just cover it up with work or with life

0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:20.919
<v Speaker 2>or whatever. Eventually, at some point you explode. And I

0:21:20.960 --> 0:21:23.520
<v Speaker 2>know I have daddy issues. I know I have you know,

0:21:23.920 --> 0:21:26.840
<v Speaker 2>sexual trauma issues. I have many type of issues that

0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:30.840
<v Speaker 2>I've covered for many years because life doesn't wait for you.

0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:33.440
<v Speaker 2>You have to move forward, you know. And I do

0:21:33.600 --> 0:21:36.080
<v Speaker 2>understand the broken part. And then now with my donor

0:21:36.840 --> 0:21:39.560
<v Speaker 2>and my daughters, I know that that definitely left the

0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:43.240
<v Speaker 2>mark in me. But I saw something on Instagram that

0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:47.000
<v Speaker 2>touched me and I will always carry this. It was

0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:49.840
<v Speaker 2>a scene from a movie and he said, Denzel Washington,

0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:53.600
<v Speaker 2>some things in life are meant to hurt you, and

0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:57.320
<v Speaker 2>others are meant to change you. And the you know,

0:21:57.359 --> 0:21:59.080
<v Speaker 2>the things that have happened to me have changed me

0:21:59.320 --> 0:22:02.320
<v Speaker 2>at this moment to the better version of me because

0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:04.760
<v Speaker 2>I've used this to empower me. But I do understand

0:22:04.800 --> 0:22:07.440
<v Speaker 2>how some men are broken and their brokenness can come

0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:10.640
<v Speaker 2>into domestic abuse. Their brokenness can come into being bad

0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:13.560
<v Speaker 2>fathers there, you know, their traumas can come into being

0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:16.920
<v Speaker 2>bad husband's, bad boyfriends, being verbally abusive.

0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:19.960
<v Speaker 1>It can come into many things. So being broken comes

0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:21.240
<v Speaker 1>in many different levels.

0:22:21.520 --> 0:22:24.640
<v Speaker 2>But you know what, don't feel bad because being broken,

0:22:24.880 --> 0:22:27.840
<v Speaker 2>having malfunctions you know, in your in your brain and

0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:29.600
<v Speaker 2>your system, doesn't mean that it's over.

0:22:29.800 --> 0:22:32.360
<v Speaker 1>It can be reset, it can be restructured. It can.

0:22:32.480 --> 0:22:33.360
<v Speaker 1>It can be fixed.

0:22:33.640 --> 0:22:36.840
<v Speaker 2>You know I personally last season, I spoke about me

0:22:36.960 --> 0:22:38.960
<v Speaker 2>going to therapy. I was going to therapy while I

0:22:39.000 --> 0:22:41.880
<v Speaker 2>was pregnant because I was going through a terrible pregnancy

0:22:41.920 --> 0:22:43.680
<v Speaker 2>as far as my personal relationship, and it.

0:22:43.640 --> 0:22:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Was affecting my pregnancy.

0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:49.960
<v Speaker 2>And then afterwards, you have postpartum and you go through

0:22:49.960 --> 0:22:52.000
<v Speaker 2>so many things. Postpartumer is even one of those serious

0:22:52.000 --> 0:22:55.359
<v Speaker 2>things where they're women that kill themselves and they can't

0:22:55.359 --> 0:22:57.960
<v Speaker 2>help it. Your hormones all over the place and you're

0:22:58.000 --> 0:23:01.640
<v Speaker 2>not thinking correctly. You kill There's women that have killed

0:23:01.640 --> 0:23:04.560
<v Speaker 2>their children. There's women that done all chips of craziness

0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:06.879
<v Speaker 2>because of the postpartum, and that's something that you can't

0:23:06.880 --> 0:23:11.000
<v Speaker 2>even control. Your body is going through these changes. So

0:23:11.640 --> 0:23:14.520
<v Speaker 2>don't feel that because you are going through a stage

0:23:14.520 --> 0:23:17.080
<v Speaker 2>in your life or you've been through things that it

0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:19.880
<v Speaker 2>can't get fixed, it can't get better, because it can.

0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:22.560
<v Speaker 2>Here's another one. What about someone who doesn't like to

0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:24.880
<v Speaker 2>hang out with your family, who is like I like you,

0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:28.320
<v Speaker 2>I just can't stand your mother, I can't stand your kids.

0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:29.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't like your daddy.

0:23:30.080 --> 0:23:31.639
<v Speaker 2>You know what, I want to be around your sister

0:23:31.800 --> 0:23:33.560
<v Speaker 2>or your cousins, or none of them. I want to

0:23:33.560 --> 0:23:36.560
<v Speaker 2>be around none of them. Can that be a deal breaker?

0:23:36.680 --> 0:23:38.439
<v Speaker 2>Or it's like, you know what, you're dating me and

0:23:38.480 --> 0:23:40.600
<v Speaker 2>you like me, so who cares if you don't like them?

0:23:40.720 --> 0:23:43.480
<v Speaker 5>Well, if you come from our culture, you better be

0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:47.040
<v Speaker 5>okay hanging out with the family because A they're metheaches,

0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.040
<v Speaker 5>they're always in your business.

0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:50.200
<v Speaker 4>They're always around.

0:23:50.480 --> 0:23:53.000
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, they're calling you at inappropriate hours.

0:23:53.200 --> 0:23:54.640
<v Speaker 1>If you live next to them.

0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:56.280
<v Speaker 5>They don't they have a key to the house, they

0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:58.200
<v Speaker 5>don't knock, they just walk in and out.

0:23:58.560 --> 0:24:00.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's basic of her.

0:24:01.000 --> 0:24:03.239
<v Speaker 2>Have you ever did anybody Alice who didn't like your

0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:04.000
<v Speaker 2>family members?

0:24:04.320 --> 0:24:07.680
<v Speaker 3>No, Thank the Lord, because my mom, my mom is

0:24:07.680 --> 0:24:09.119
<v Speaker 3>the opposite. My mom will tell you straight up to

0:24:09.160 --> 0:24:10.760
<v Speaker 3>your face she don't like you, you know what I'm saying.

0:24:11.119 --> 0:24:13.560
<v Speaker 3>So I've been very blessed with the fact that no one,

0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:16.800
<v Speaker 3>no one has ever because I've also take my family's side.

0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:17.480
<v Speaker 3>So there's that.

0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:19.280
<v Speaker 1>Well that's important me.

0:24:19.400 --> 0:24:21.119
<v Speaker 2>I've had people there like I like you, but I

0:24:21.119 --> 0:24:22.919
<v Speaker 2>can't stand your mom, and I just you know, I'm

0:24:22.960 --> 0:24:24.440
<v Speaker 2>dating you. I don't want to do with it, and

0:24:24.640 --> 0:24:29.159
<v Speaker 2>that's terrible because my mom and I are one. But

0:24:29.359 --> 0:24:32.679
<v Speaker 2>then with my mom, I said, But she now that

0:24:32.800 --> 0:24:35.960
<v Speaker 2>I know better, I can see it. There's something about

0:24:36.000 --> 0:24:38.040
<v Speaker 2>mothers and fathers at times that they can see the

0:24:38.080 --> 0:24:41.640
<v Speaker 2>things that we can't see. It's experience, it's intuition, it's

0:24:41.680 --> 0:24:43.919
<v Speaker 2>many things that they're like, you know, same. But I mean,

0:24:46.520 --> 0:24:50.080
<v Speaker 2>I'll go something feels weird, it's set on the end,

0:24:50.119 --> 0:24:51.760
<v Speaker 2>and I want to on it for you. I don't

0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:53.159
<v Speaker 2>like it, And later.

0:24:52.960 --> 0:24:54.640
<v Speaker 1>On they're actually right.

0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:58.160
<v Speaker 2>So my mom can always peep, you know, the guy

0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:01.440
<v Speaker 2>that's trash, and whenever she he's like, he's trash, he's

0:25:01.480 --> 0:25:01.840
<v Speaker 2>no good.

0:25:01.840 --> 0:25:05.119
<v Speaker 1>You shouldn't. I'm like, I want him. So that's the

0:25:05.160 --> 0:25:09.720
<v Speaker 1>one for me, last, but not least among so many.

0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:11.639
<v Speaker 2>What about if they don't want to introduce you to

0:25:11.720 --> 0:25:12.960
<v Speaker 2>their family or friends?

0:25:13.040 --> 0:25:14.640
<v Speaker 1>Is that a deal breakers?

0:25:15.840 --> 0:25:19.760
<v Speaker 3>That's a super red flag. Why I'll let our lanes

0:25:19.800 --> 0:25:21.160
<v Speaker 3>start first and then I'll throw mine.

0:25:21.840 --> 0:25:24.600
<v Speaker 5>I don't know, they don't want to introduce you. That

0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:26.520
<v Speaker 5>happened to me once. The first guy I dated when

0:25:26.560 --> 0:25:28.879
<v Speaker 5>I moved to LA didn't introduce me to anybody.

0:25:28.920 --> 0:25:31.680
<v Speaker 4>Sounds like he had a girlfriend.

0:25:31.800 --> 0:25:32.080
<v Speaker 1>That's what.

0:25:33.320 --> 0:25:34.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh, well, you're lucky and you had a girlfriend. They

0:25:34.840 --> 0:25:36.360
<v Speaker 2>have a whole wife with like a whole second case.

0:25:36.920 --> 0:25:39.520
<v Speaker 1>That's true. That's true. Oh my god, what about you.

0:25:39.560 --> 0:25:41.720
<v Speaker 2>Have you ever hit in a girl or that you've

0:25:41.800 --> 0:25:43.280
<v Speaker 2>dated from your family and friends.

0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:47.000
<v Speaker 3>No, there's no reason for that. I mean, I'm very

0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:50.879
<v Speaker 3>private on social media. I have a complete separation of

0:25:50.960 --> 0:25:54.240
<v Speaker 3>church and state when it comes to social media. Okay,

0:25:54.760 --> 0:25:56.840
<v Speaker 3>my private life is my private life. I don't need

0:25:56.920 --> 0:26:01.359
<v Speaker 3>anyone's approval nor anyone's quote unquote life for me to

0:26:01.440 --> 0:26:05.920
<v Speaker 3>feel approved or or happy or this is my relationship.

0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:10.200
<v Speaker 3>You get what I'm saying. And there's always the fact

0:26:10.240 --> 0:26:13.080
<v Speaker 3>that there's a lot of scrutiny and people out there

0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:15.600
<v Speaker 3>that are always if you get on someone's bad side,

0:26:16.320 --> 0:26:19.080
<v Speaker 3>especially on social media, that will try and do something

0:26:19.080 --> 0:26:21.320
<v Speaker 3>to harm you. And I hate that because I see

0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:25.240
<v Speaker 3>friends who are in that situation where they're saints, they

0:26:25.320 --> 0:26:28.000
<v Speaker 3>love each other, but there's so many mouths on the

0:26:28.040 --> 0:26:30.920
<v Speaker 3>outside trying to talk, you know, sabotage.

0:26:31.800 --> 0:26:34.640
<v Speaker 2>So so that's that's a that's an er not doing

0:26:34.680 --> 0:26:34.960
<v Speaker 2>it well.

0:26:35.119 --> 0:26:37.479
<v Speaker 1>Definitely, Ladies, here we go.

0:26:37.760 --> 0:26:41.080
<v Speaker 2>If you're dating someone and he is hiding you from

0:26:41.119 --> 0:26:43.919
<v Speaker 2>his friends and family, most likely he just wants to

0:26:44.040 --> 0:26:47.879
<v Speaker 2>smash and uh, definitely red.

0:26:47.680 --> 0:26:48.920
<v Speaker 1>Black zone zoo it.

0:26:49.080 --> 0:26:51.280
<v Speaker 2>Okay, if he hits you with the I don't have

0:26:51.280 --> 0:26:55.000
<v Speaker 2>any social media red black zon't zoo it. If he

0:26:55.040 --> 0:26:57.680
<v Speaker 2>doesn't want to, you know, take you out in public.

0:26:58.240 --> 0:26:59.639
<v Speaker 2>What else is if he doesn't want to post you

0:26:59.680 --> 0:27:02.199
<v Speaker 2>on his social medium? That is so who not in

0:27:02.200 --> 0:27:03.879
<v Speaker 2>my little Fido. It could be that, you know, he

0:27:03.920 --> 0:27:05.920
<v Speaker 2>wants to keep his personal left to himself, or he's

0:27:05.920 --> 0:27:08.040
<v Speaker 2>trying to hide you from the girl that he actually

0:27:08.280 --> 0:27:10.600
<v Speaker 2>does love and care for, which is his wife, his girlfriend,

0:27:10.680 --> 0:27:11.520
<v Speaker 2>his baby moms.

0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:11.920
<v Speaker 1>Or whoever else.

0:27:12.240 --> 0:27:14.800
<v Speaker 2>So if you really like me and you're really into me,

0:27:15.080 --> 0:27:17.679
<v Speaker 2>please introduce me to your friends, Please introduce me to

0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:19.439
<v Speaker 2>your family. If not, I'm just gonna find them on

0:27:19.440 --> 0:27:21.480
<v Speaker 2>social media and I'm gonna send them a picture about us.

0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:24.600
<v Speaker 2>So everybody knows that your minds and your mother made

0:27:24.600 --> 0:27:24.960
<v Speaker 2>you for me.

0:27:25.080 --> 0:27:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Amen. So with that being said, ladies, tell me what

0:27:29.040 --> 0:27:29.440
<v Speaker 1>you think.

0:27:29.640 --> 0:27:32.160
<v Speaker 2>Hit me up on exactly I'm not on Instagram and under

0:27:32.200 --> 0:27:35.480
<v Speaker 2>the comments, give me give me a couple of red flags.

0:27:35.480 --> 0:27:36.800
<v Speaker 1>What have been some red flags for you?

0:27:36.840 --> 0:27:39.119
<v Speaker 2>Why do you consider that you could have been a

0:27:39.200 --> 0:27:41.080
<v Speaker 2>red you know, have some red flags for someone that.

0:27:41.040 --> 0:27:42.760
<v Speaker 1>May be dating you if you've gone through.

0:27:42.560 --> 0:27:46.600
<v Speaker 2>Any experience that has been you know, weird or awkward

0:27:46.840 --> 0:27:49.359
<v Speaker 2>while you're dating. I want to know all those things.

0:27:51.359 --> 0:27:52.960
<v Speaker 2>The list of red flags can go on and on

0:27:53.000 --> 0:27:55.480
<v Speaker 2>and on. Unfortunately we don't get that type of time,

0:27:55.600 --> 0:27:57.440
<v Speaker 2>but I'm glad that we went through a couple of them.

0:27:57.960 --> 0:28:00.720
<v Speaker 2>Alex Arlene as usual, guys, thank thank you so much

0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:04.159
<v Speaker 2>for being part of exactly Amada and giving me a

0:28:04.160 --> 0:28:05.920
<v Speaker 2>couple of tivity because now I have I have a

0:28:05.960 --> 0:28:07.640
<v Speaker 2>couple of things to think about now for the next

0:28:07.680 --> 0:28:08.600
<v Speaker 2>time I start dating.

0:28:09.040 --> 0:28:10.320
<v Speaker 1>Uh, definitely, you.

0:28:10.280 --> 0:28:12.360
<v Speaker 2>Know, I have some things to think about. I don't

0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:14.119
<v Speaker 2>know what my next date is going to look like.

0:28:14.160 --> 0:28:17.159
<v Speaker 2>At this point, I'm still traumatized and broken. I might

0:28:17.240 --> 0:28:20.240
<v Speaker 2>need some therapy after this. But with that being said, guys,

0:28:20.280 --> 0:28:23.200
<v Speaker 2>thank you so much for being part of exactly a Mata.

0:28:23.359 --> 0:28:25.720
<v Speaker 2>Like every week, make sure to find me on YouTube

0:28:25.800 --> 0:28:29.760
<v Speaker 2>catch my show by searching for Microtuda podcast and clicking

0:28:29.800 --> 0:28:32.679
<v Speaker 2>on exactly Amada. Find me, like I said before, on

0:28:32.720 --> 0:28:35.119
<v Speaker 2>all the social media platforms at exactly amata, or just

0:28:35.160 --> 0:28:37.439
<v Speaker 2>check me out at a and remember that this has

0:28:37.480 --> 0:28:41.760
<v Speaker 2>been a production of Iheart's Microthuda podcast network for more

0:28:41.840 --> 0:28:45.600
<v Speaker 2>podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or

0:28:45.640 --> 0:28:48.280
<v Speaker 2>wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

0:28:48.520 --> 0:28:51.160
<v Speaker 1>Is your girl Check me out next time.