WEBVTT - How Much Sunshine Are You Spreading? With Minnie Driver

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Joe, are we rolling? We are rolling. Fantastic ladies

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<v Speaker 1>and gentlemen, please welcome Chelsea Handler. Thank you, Joe. Check

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<v Speaker 1>one check too. Hi, Chelsea, stop it. And it's so

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<v Speaker 1>hard up to be like, here's your script. I got it,

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you, got it, have fun, enjoy you guys will

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<v Speaker 1>be all right over here. Okay, thanks. Hi guys. Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>I like want to call him your pal Friday since

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<v Speaker 1>he helped us set up today. I know he is.

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<v Speaker 1>He's my little my girl Friday. Honey. Good afternoon, good morning,

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<v Speaker 1>a good evening. This is Chelsea Handler on the podcast

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<v Speaker 1>called Dear Chelsea, and I'm here with my producer Catherine. Hi. Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you Hi? I think, after however many episodes

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<v Speaker 1>of this podcast, I finally got an intro down that

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<v Speaker 1>sounds respectable. It doesn't sound like me, but it sounds respectable.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to start by saying that I'm very

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<v Speaker 1>weak today. I had food poisoning or a twenty four virus.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure because my friend texted me this morning

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<v Speaker 1>saying she also has diarrhea. Now. But we went to

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<v Speaker 1>appray Joe and I with some friends the other day

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<v Speaker 1>and then we came home we got massages, I went

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<v Speaker 1>to bed, and around five in the morning, it was

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<v Speaker 1>all hell broke loose. God. I was vomiting and I

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<v Speaker 1>had diarrhea and it was brutal, and of course Joe

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<v Speaker 1>was so ridiculously sweet that I just was like, oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, because I was like, who can I text

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<v Speaker 1>for Diet Canada's dry ginger ale. That's all I wanted,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, when you're that all I cared about was gingrile.

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<v Speaker 1>And I've been trying not to drink soda because I

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<v Speaker 1>have this big photo shoot coming up or commercial shoot.

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<v Speaker 1>But sometimes you just gotta like have the thing that,

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<v Speaker 1>like your mom gave you when you were sick. For us,

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<v Speaker 1>it was sprite and orange juice. Sprite and orange juice

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<v Speaker 1>together together, that was the thing. It's like, whenever I

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<v Speaker 1>get that kind of sick, I'm like, it needs sprite

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<v Speaker 1>and orange juice, although these days it's look ray and

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<v Speaker 1>orange juice. Yeah. Yeah, That's how I am with ginger ale.

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<v Speaker 1>And it can't be regular gender because the sugar leaves

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<v Speaker 1>this weird taste in my mouth. That has to be

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<v Speaker 1>Diet Canada Dry, which by the way, is my elixir

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<v Speaker 1>for everything. And if I feel off if I feel tired.

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<v Speaker 1>Diet Canada Dry is I once called them and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I need to do a commercial for you guys,

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm so passionate about your product. And I ended

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<v Speaker 1>up doing a Diet seven Up commercial because they're owned

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<v Speaker 1>by the same people. And they're like, we don't need

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<v Speaker 1>a commercial for Diet Canada Dry, but we'll pay you

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<v Speaker 1>to do one for Diet seven Up. And I was like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>let's go. But truth be told, I prefer Canada Dry

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<v Speaker 1>over seven Up. So you heard it here first, it's

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<v Speaker 1>a cure, all yeah. So I was laid out yesterday

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<v Speaker 1>and I was just like, and my it felt like

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<v Speaker 1>every organ of my body was being attacked, my kidneys,

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<v Speaker 1>my back. I was just like, oh, this is so annoying.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I took it. What I thought was a

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<v Speaker 1>zo fran, which is an anti nausea drug. Let to say,

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<v Speaker 1>I have no idea what that that I travel with

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<v Speaker 1>in case I get sick. And I was like, Joe,

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<v Speaker 1>please get me the zo fran. It's in the cabinet,

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<v Speaker 1>and who went got it? But I had mixed my

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<v Speaker 1>zo Fran with this thing called new Vigil, which is

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<v Speaker 1>basically a drug for narcalyptics. It's for combating jet lag

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<v Speaker 1>when you travel overseas, and like it's this like high

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<v Speaker 1>level prescription, but it's basically like a very sophisticated adder all.

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<v Speaker 1>I was gonna say, you gave yourself uppers while you're

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<v Speaker 1>trying to rest. So I fucking woke my ass up

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<v Speaker 1>to be sick and nauseous for the next six hours,

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<v Speaker 1>And luckily I threw that up to right away, and

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<v Speaker 1>then once I took the zo fra and I was

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<v Speaker 1>able to stop throwing up. It's kind of what they

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<v Speaker 1>give you on Safari in case you get, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>really sick or something. Anyway, I had all the medical too,

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<v Speaker 1>I have. I don't know who's been mixing my medication,

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<v Speaker 1>but it sounds like her name is m A. B. E. L.

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<v Speaker 1>So when I get home the next week, I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to have a nice sit down with my bell. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure she has a lot to tuck tell me about

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<v Speaker 1>as well. I requested that Joe bring Burton Bernice back

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<v Speaker 1>and she she said no, she put the kaibash on it.

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<v Speaker 1>He left for three days to go into the States

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<v Speaker 1>and come back here to slur and I said okay,

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<v Speaker 1>bring the dogs back. And then he said my bell

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<v Speaker 1>said no. Oh she didn't let him. No, I've lost

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<v Speaker 1>complete control of my own domestic situation. Oh my goodness. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if this will help at all, but

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<v Speaker 1>if you want, I can. I can let you meet

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<v Speaker 1>my daughter who's here with me in the studio right now, Brad.

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<v Speaker 1>That will help. I think it will. I think it

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<v Speaker 1>will right now. She's actually there's like a giant beanbag

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<v Speaker 1>chair here at the office, and she makes Brad bring

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<v Speaker 1>it down into the like studio so she can sit

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<v Speaker 1>in it, even though it's like a giant giant one

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<v Speaker 1>is Mimsy. What's her name? Mimsy? She is a brindle pug. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>she's a nugget. How old is she? She's six. She

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<v Speaker 1>looks like a bit. She is very braddy. She like

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<v Speaker 1>does whatever she wants. See, she's already done. That's exactly

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<v Speaker 1>like Bernice. I pick her up and then she's like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I was never interested in being picked up in the

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<v Speaker 1>first place. Please leave me alone. That is Mimsy. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>she will not listen to anything. My husband says, like,

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<v Speaker 1>she won't obey him until I look at her and

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<v Speaker 1>I go in a serious voice. I have to go,

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<v Speaker 1>Mimsy obey and then she'll do whatever he asked, like

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<v Speaker 1>putting on her harness or whatever. Yeah, so that's my daughter.

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<v Speaker 1>That's cute. That's cute. Mimsy is cute. Do we have

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<v Speaker 1>a podcast March available now? We will very soon, Oh

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<v Speaker 1>dear Chelsea. Merch is going to be available very soon. Everybody. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's cute and it's going to becomfy. I made

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<v Speaker 1>sure that we got like comfy shirts, comfy stuff. So okay, great,

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<v Speaker 1>I love that for all our for all our female

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<v Speaker 1>and gay listeners. Yes exactly. Although I got a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of d m s from a couple of straight guys

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<v Speaker 1>that I want to be very pointed about the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that they listened to the podcast and are straight. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you want to fucking metal? Yes? They do? Yes, yeah, exactly,

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<v Speaker 1>several in fact. Okay, so yeah, let's move on to

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<v Speaker 1>today's guest as she has a new book it's called

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<v Speaker 1>Managing Expectations. It is available now for pre order. It

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<v Speaker 1>comes out in May. And she has her own podcast

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<v Speaker 1>that I've done called Many Questions, which she asked the

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<v Speaker 1>same seven questions to all her guests, and season two

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<v Speaker 1>just premiered, so make sure you check that out. Please

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<v Speaker 1>welcome a very good friend of mine, Mini Driver. Hi, honey,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you? I'm all right, Johnny? How are you happy?

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<v Speaker 1>New is she? Where are you? I'm in Malibi? Oh okay,

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<v Speaker 1>where are you? I'm in Whistler, Canada. The seat of

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<v Speaker 1>sky Highway. I love that. Oh I know you know

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<v Speaker 1>that from your truck driving days. Honk honk. A lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people don't know that about Mini Driver, but I do.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's all that really matters. And that's what this

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<v Speaker 1>podcast is all about, unveiling who was a truck driver

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<v Speaker 1>and who was it? Many congratulations on your engagement. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>thanks Dawning. Yeah, thanks, very casual reaction. I'm not I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not engaged. My boyfriend will literally die if he I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not engaged. It was what You're not supposed to stay engaged?

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<v Speaker 1>Or are you not engaged? No, I'm not engaged. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not engaged, however, only because my boyfriend he doesn't really

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<v Speaker 1>want to get married because, as he said, I love you,

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<v Speaker 1>so why would I want to be in a throutle

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<v Speaker 1>with the state of California? Uh huh And I totally

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<v Speaker 1>get that. So we're not engaged. We're just I wore

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<v Speaker 1>a diamond ring that I had actually bought myself on

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<v Speaker 1>my ring finger because I show up for myself every

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<v Speaker 1>day and if I'm married to anyone, it's me. There

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<v Speaker 1>we go, There we go. I told Joe Cooy, my boyfriend,

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<v Speaker 1>that if he ever advised me a big fucking diamond ring,

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<v Speaker 1>don't expect me to wear it. I told him we

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<v Speaker 1>could be engaged and you can play the wedding because

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<v Speaker 1>I don't really care about that those kinds of things

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<v Speaker 1>at all. And I know that his potential for actual

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<v Speaker 1>planning a wedding is never going to happen, so if

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<v Speaker 1>it's all on his plate, it won't come to fruition

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<v Speaker 1>because he is such an in the moment person. So

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<v Speaker 1>you and I are kind of opposites. I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to be engaged or publicly planning a wedding, and you

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<v Speaker 1>decided that you are going to marry yourself, So those

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<v Speaker 1>are two different perspectives. I just want to quite like

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<v Speaker 1>a party. I want a party who doesn't like a

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<v Speaker 1>party mini obviously with dancing and toasts, but I like toasts.

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<v Speaker 1>I want people to make toasts about me and him.

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<v Speaker 1>And you want also one of those videos, like a

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<v Speaker 1>great montage video of all the wonderful things that you've

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<v Speaker 1>ever experienced, and people saying amazing things about how they've

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<v Speaker 1>never seen two people more in love than the two

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<v Speaker 1>of you. Yes, yes, I want. I want that, and

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<v Speaker 1>dancing and like those big fucking lanterns and trees outside

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<v Speaker 1>and like a barbecue and long tables. I want that.

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<v Speaker 1>I've seen it in like a Nancy Maya fucking movie.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I want. Yeah, well, good, I'm glad that

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<v Speaker 1>you're able to visualize your expectations. I've got a mood

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<v Speaker 1>board for the wedding I'm never going to have. I

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<v Speaker 1>want to. I want to ask you about finding your

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<v Speaker 1>true love after you lost your mom, because I think

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<v Speaker 1>things like that happen in life all the time. When

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<v Speaker 1>somebody kind of exits our life, someone comes into it,

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<v Speaker 1>and a lot of times for me, I know personally,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of my mother around with my with

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<v Speaker 1>my guy. You know, they actually they knew each other

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<v Speaker 1>and they had a really amazing friendship, and she didn't

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<v Speaker 1>she didn't suffer too many of the men that I

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<v Speaker 1>was with because she took it personally when they broke

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<v Speaker 1>up with me, or if I broke up with them,

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<v Speaker 1>but she really really loved Addison. They didn't know each

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<v Speaker 1>other for long enough. But I do think that there

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<v Speaker 1>is an exchange, that there is some sort of relay

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<v Speaker 1>that happens when I think you're absolutely right, when someone leaves,

0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:05.800
<v Speaker 1>something else comes in to fill that space. I think

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<v Speaker 1>you just have to kind of be open and aware,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's very difficult when you're grieving to allow that in. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>have you had any of those experiences yet about your mom?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you felt her around you? Have you felt like

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<v Speaker 1>you've gotten little signs of her? I have I hear her.

0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:25.240
<v Speaker 1>I think she co opts my brain because I heard

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<v Speaker 1>her say I was having a conversation with her one day.

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<v Speaker 1>I was missing her so much. And I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if these are psychotic breaks or part of the whole process,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't really care, because I could hear her

0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:38.640
<v Speaker 1>voice talking to me and at one point I said,

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<v Speaker 1>am I making this up? Or is this you? And

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<v Speaker 1>she was like, well, you know, of course it's me,

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<v Speaker 1>but I don't have a brain anymore, so I'm having

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<v Speaker 1>to use yours. And it was so exactly something that

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<v Speaker 1>she would have said that I knew her sarcasm was

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<v Speaker 1>a sign. Yeah, right, And then we chatted and now

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<v Speaker 1>I chat I do. I chat to her all the time,

0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.520
<v Speaker 1>particularly in nature. I see her whenever I think about her.

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<v Speaker 1>I see a single bird, it's really strange. Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>do that. I do that too. Whenever you see a

0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:10.960
<v Speaker 1>single bird, I'm like my mom always. Yeah, it's really strange.

0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:15.800
<v Speaker 1>And maybe that's I don't really mind where that's created from,

0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:19.439
<v Speaker 1>because it continues to make me feel connected to her.

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<v Speaker 1>So I don't think it matters. I don't think there

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<v Speaker 1>needs to be any kind of no one needs to

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<v Speaker 1>verify if this is true. It is true for us.

0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:31.720
<v Speaker 1>It's just kind of like what you believe in it

0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:34.080
<v Speaker 1>works for you. It doesn't have to be proven to

0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:36.760
<v Speaker 1>be a fact or fiction. Right, It's like whatever the

0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:40.560
<v Speaker 1>possibilities are, which means you're open, and as long as

0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:43.280
<v Speaker 1>you're open, things will come to you, and who cares

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<v Speaker 1>if they're real or not? You know. I think it's

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<v Speaker 1>so funny we judge so much that the way in

0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:52.960
<v Speaker 1>which everybody else passes life, the way that everybody else

0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:57.080
<v Speaker 1>synthesizes it, and that this this the way that we

0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:00.319
<v Speaker 1>look for outside verification of what we fundamentally know to

0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:02.319
<v Speaker 1>be true, and then we don't we don't trust that,

0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:04.200
<v Speaker 1>and so then that leaks out into the rest of

0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.880
<v Speaker 1>our lives that we don't trust this basic instinct that

0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:10.920
<v Speaker 1>we have about what feels good, what is righteous, what

0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:14.440
<v Speaker 1>is true for us. That's actually any intention that I

0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:18.600
<v Speaker 1>have about this new year is to insist on no

0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:22.240
<v Speaker 1>outside verification. Well, it's also funny because so many people

0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:24.360
<v Speaker 1>we don't know the answers, just so many things which

0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:27.240
<v Speaker 1>people pretend are so black and white, like no, there's

0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:29.760
<v Speaker 1>no God, or there's God or that you know. It's like,

0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:31.760
<v Speaker 1>first of all, nobody fucking knows if there's a God

0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:34.160
<v Speaker 1>or not. Nobody has any proof of that except for

0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.120
<v Speaker 1>your belief system and what you think you've personally experienced.

0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:39.280
<v Speaker 1>So the idea that you have to have a definitive

0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:42.560
<v Speaker 1>belief system to begin with is is silly, right, the

0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.080
<v Speaker 1>fact like, oh, they're religious, Like I have a friend,

0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.520
<v Speaker 1>if anyone's religious, she just regards them because she thinks

0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:51.040
<v Speaker 1>they're stupid. I'm like, well, okay, that's a little bit much.

0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:52.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean I also have a little bit of that,

0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:56.000
<v Speaker 1>but not and then people like the new thing is

0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:57.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, not to say you believe in a god,

0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.040
<v Speaker 1>but there's something it's like, well, that's a god. I

0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.440
<v Speaker 1>believe in the universe. It's like, well that's another word

0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:07.480
<v Speaker 1>for god. Like we're all saying the same thing, but

0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.280
<v Speaker 1>people have to be so black and white about it,

0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:13.880
<v Speaker 1>as if there's been proof about it either way. We

0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:16.040
<v Speaker 1>don't know what happens when you die, and nobody's ever

0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:19.120
<v Speaker 1>going to find out until you die, and then it's

0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.520
<v Speaker 1>probably still not going to be the news we're looking for,

0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.200
<v Speaker 1>So why not just create your own reality of what

0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:28.400
<v Speaker 1>you think is possible. Yeah, it's weird. Dogma is absolutely

0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 1>shit as far as I can make out. And it

0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:34.079
<v Speaker 1>really I hate that it's got dog in it because

0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:39.000
<v Speaker 1>I love dogs. It's absurd because it's like, if you've

0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:42.240
<v Speaker 1>got everybody to agree with you, it's sort of like

0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:47.240
<v Speaker 1>and then what so everybody agreed. What if everybody agreed

0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.679
<v Speaker 1>on the same on the same thing, we'd find conflict elsewhere?

0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:54.440
<v Speaker 1>Like it is hard. Word into this human experience is

0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.920
<v Speaker 1>contrast and conflict, and I think it is it is

0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:01.080
<v Speaker 1>part of this human experience, and it's it's absurd And

0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:04.360
<v Speaker 1>the more that one can disengage from needing that or

0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:08.200
<v Speaker 1>underwriting that. I do find myself stepping away more and

0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.760
<v Speaker 1>more from people who are dogmatic in any kind of belief.

0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.719
<v Speaker 1>But they just put me off my dinner. I might

0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:18.120
<v Speaker 1>I want to eat my steak in peace. I don't

0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:21.320
<v Speaker 1>eat steak. I don't know why. I just don't want to.

0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:25.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad I don't know that. I don't eat steak

0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:29.680
<v Speaker 1>like that. Steak is out of style. Quite frankly, mets

0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:32.760
<v Speaker 1>got to change. I'm on the phone with you because

0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:35.080
<v Speaker 1>I just lots have got to change, and it's got

0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:38.080
<v Speaker 1>to change now, so fucking help me. I mean, all

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.720
<v Speaker 1>of it is so, I mean, wait back to her.

0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:42.680
<v Speaker 1>I want to talk a little bit about your siblings

0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:44.720
<v Speaker 1>and with your mother passing, because I found that to

0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:47.000
<v Speaker 1>be such a great comfort having my brothers and sisters

0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:51.120
<v Speaker 1>around and experiencing that kind of transitioning, you know, from

0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:54.600
<v Speaker 1>life to whatever happens after life, you know, like together

0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:59.400
<v Speaker 1>and there were moments of hysterical laughter and moments of

0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:03.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, unbearable pain. But I feel like without those moments,

0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:06.240
<v Speaker 1>my brother once said, we were all in the hospice

0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.160
<v Speaker 1>and my mom was on bed, and on her bed,

0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:10.560
<v Speaker 1>that's where you go to die, right, And my one

0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:13.320
<v Speaker 1>brother just still didn't understand what was going on, and

0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:16.280
<v Speaker 1>we were like, Roy, she's dying, Like we're this is

0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.400
<v Speaker 1>where we're taking her to die peacefully. And he's like,

0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:20.560
<v Speaker 1>but what what if she gets better? And we were

0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:22.960
<v Speaker 1>just like, oh my god, we can't keep explaining this

0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:26.920
<v Speaker 1>to you, Like it's a wrap okay. Anyway, So we're

0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.680
<v Speaker 1>all lying in these mats, on these like cots that

0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.160
<v Speaker 1>they had at this hospice, and I was with next

0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:34.000
<v Speaker 1>to my one brother, and my other brother and sister

0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:35.920
<v Speaker 1>were across the room, and my other sister was on

0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:38.600
<v Speaker 1>a chair, and my brother, who's a complete asshole and

0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:41.880
<v Speaker 1>really sarcastic and thinks he's hysterical, goes, hey, Chelsea, because

0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:44.360
<v Speaker 1>Shannah and Roy were like lying very close to each

0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 1>other holding hands, and he goes, how long do you

0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:50.360
<v Speaker 1>think Roy and Sshanna have been sleeping together? And you

0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:55.040
<v Speaker 1>just heard my sister across the room grown She's like, Glenn, honestly, seriously,

0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:58.480
<v Speaker 1>why would you even bring that into this space? And

0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.280
<v Speaker 1>we were all laughing so hard, and it was such

0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:04.920
<v Speaker 1>a funny moment, because you know, without those moments, it's

0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:07.280
<v Speaker 1>just so painful. You need. You need that, and you

0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.720
<v Speaker 1>can only really be that way with with the people

0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:11.840
<v Speaker 1>who knew it was like what it was like to

0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:15.240
<v Speaker 1>grow up with your parents, right, Yeah, I mean there

0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.280
<v Speaker 1>are moments that are starting to happen, but it was

0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:22.160
<v Speaker 1>it's so weird. It's it was nine months ago. We

0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:26.480
<v Speaker 1>haven't had enough moments where we've laughed together. We're still

0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:30.960
<v Speaker 1>gingerly being able to talk about her, you know, because

0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:33.240
<v Speaker 1>you know, we're still dealing with the probate of her

0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:37.080
<v Speaker 1>estate and selling her house and all of this stuff

0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:40.360
<v Speaker 1>like that. I'm hoping once these things are done will

0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:43.280
<v Speaker 1>allow us to kind of commune about her in a way.

0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:47.000
<v Speaker 1>That is, because there were certainly really amazing moments while

0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:49.000
<v Speaker 1>she was dying. Just like you said, we were sitting

0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:51.280
<v Speaker 1>around watching her like she was a TV when she

0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:54.880
<v Speaker 1>was dying, and my aunt said, she was like, God,

0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:57.880
<v Speaker 1>I always I always thought like, if I was dying,

0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:01.680
<v Speaker 1>having all these people who weren't dying standing around looking

0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:04.400
<v Speaker 1>at me would really piss me off. And my mother

0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:08.000
<v Speaker 1>was like, it does piss me off, And she was like,

0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:13.119
<v Speaker 1>I am a TV. Turned me off. This is and

0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:16.359
<v Speaker 1>we are we're still laughing about these moments. I know,

0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:18.480
<v Speaker 1>it will come. I know it's there, I know it's

0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:22.359
<v Speaker 1>in escrow, waiting for us being able to laugh about it.

0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:27.440
<v Speaker 1>But it's astonishing how grief. You'll fine, you'll fine, you'll fine,

0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:29.560
<v Speaker 1>you'll fine, you'll fine, and then it just rises up

0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:33.560
<v Speaker 1>and it fells you. It just it just literally brings

0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:36.080
<v Speaker 1>you to your knees sometimes when you least expect it.

0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:38.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm astonished by it. I'm grateful to all the people

0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:43.720
<v Speaker 1>who have witnessed that happening and not freaked out. Yeah,

0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.440
<v Speaker 1>that's so common also to be like I'm doing great,

0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:48.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing great. It's over. It's over. I'm through it.

0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:50.639
<v Speaker 1>I'm through it. And then you're like, no, no, no,

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.159
<v Speaker 1>it's like you don't that's not how grief works. And

0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:55.439
<v Speaker 1>we all and like for some reason, and you know,

0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:59.080
<v Speaker 1>we believe like, okay, I've gotten through it, Like why

0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.439
<v Speaker 1>is that important to believe? So it's over, it's in

0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.240
<v Speaker 1>the past. It's like it's never going to be in

0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:06.679
<v Speaker 1>the past. You know. It's another just like time construct

0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:09.400
<v Speaker 1>that doesn't make any sense at all. It's emotions, it's heart,

0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.880
<v Speaker 1>it's all those feelings. Yeah, it's I've got this birthday

0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:16.160
<v Speaker 1>coming up, and I don't. I've been having these existential

0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.639
<v Speaker 1>dreams and feelings whilst awake. How can you have a

0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:23.639
<v Speaker 1>birthday if the portal through which you came is gone?

0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Like how there's there's something that's been happening about this

0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:30.960
<v Speaker 1>idea that without my mother, that how how do I

0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:33.640
<v Speaker 1>sort of exist? It's it's really strange, Like it's an

0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:39.919
<v Speaker 1>absolute mind bend losing your mother. I I experienced grief

0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:42.960
<v Speaker 1>with my father dying and huge loss, but not this

0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:47.400
<v Speaker 1>existential stuff about my own mortality and about the impermanence

0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:50.240
<v Speaker 1>of time. I mean the impermanence of everything and the

0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:53.680
<v Speaker 1>existence of the constant existence of time. Yeah, yeah, I mean,

0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:55.560
<v Speaker 1>just think about how old we are now. You know.

0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:57.320
<v Speaker 1>I was talking to my friend the other day. I'm like,

0:18:57.359 --> 0:18:59.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm already sick, like a half already sex. I'm gonna

0:18:59.920 --> 0:19:01.960
<v Speaker 1>be already seven this year. My half my life is over.

0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:03.919
<v Speaker 1>And she's like, you don't know that. I'm like, oh please,

0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:08.040
<v Speaker 1>it's over, Like come on, like with the idea that

0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:10.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, you get to this age and you start

0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:12.240
<v Speaker 1>to go like, oh, it could happen at any time.

0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:15.239
<v Speaker 1>I could get sick, anything could happen, like and and

0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:16.840
<v Speaker 1>then the idea of like you have to live every

0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:18.840
<v Speaker 1>day it's like like it's your last. I don't want

0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:21.600
<v Speaker 1>to live every day like it's my last. That's exhausting too,

0:19:22.000 --> 0:19:23.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, like sometimes I do want to lie in

0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:25.800
<v Speaker 1>bed and watch TV all day. I don't need to

0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:28.040
<v Speaker 1>like be out there showing the world what I'm made of.

0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:30.560
<v Speaker 1>So it's a it's all these thoughts that you think

0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:32.720
<v Speaker 1>about with your existence and how long you're going to

0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:34.639
<v Speaker 1>be here for and what what what else you have

0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:37.119
<v Speaker 1>left to say or do or what impact do you

0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:39.000
<v Speaker 1>want to leave? You know with you you have a son,

0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:41.600
<v Speaker 1>so it's even you know, that's even a bigger yeah,

0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:43.760
<v Speaker 1>But it's all about It's so interesting because this is

0:19:43.800 --> 0:19:47.080
<v Speaker 1>my new obsession since Mom died, is this idea of

0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:51.320
<v Speaker 1>assigned meaning and meaning and what that is and what

0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.800
<v Speaker 1>a meaningful life is and the pressure that we put

0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:57.159
<v Speaker 1>on ourselves or the pressure that other people put on us,

0:19:57.359 --> 0:19:59.800
<v Speaker 1>Like what what the funk is that? And how could

0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:02.200
<v Speaker 1>an you want to describe what that meaning is? Accept

0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.000
<v Speaker 1>us except we who are in it. And if that

0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:09.520
<v Speaker 1>is lying in bed watching bad TV or good TV

0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:13.560
<v Speaker 1>in a day, who says that isn't meaningful? Well? I

0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:17.000
<v Speaker 1>think pretty much everybody thinks that's that meaningful. But I

0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:19.800
<v Speaker 1>don't think there's an argument there. But I would argue

0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:23.560
<v Speaker 1>with I would argue with, like, you know who, what's meaningful?

0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:26.199
<v Speaker 1>Like being a celebrity, being a well known person. Is

0:20:26.240 --> 0:20:28.720
<v Speaker 1>that is that supposed to be more valuable? Like obviously,

0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:31.479
<v Speaker 1>as you get older, you realize that how fickle that is.

0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:34.240
<v Speaker 1>You know, how silly that, how silly it is to

0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:37.080
<v Speaker 1>think that you have more more value. I think, like, Okay,

0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:39.879
<v Speaker 1>in my best run of thoughts, I would think your value,

0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:42.400
<v Speaker 1>in my estimation, would be what kind of impact you're

0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:45.160
<v Speaker 1>having on every single person you're around? Right, how much

0:20:45.200 --> 0:20:48.400
<v Speaker 1>sunlight are you spreading and joy and happiness to others?

0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:52.080
<v Speaker 1>Like what's what's that? Or strength or inspiration? You know,

0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:54.520
<v Speaker 1>maybe that's the most valuable things, the things that are

0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:58.680
<v Speaker 1>not measurable, because it's clearly like all over the map, right,

0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:00.920
<v Speaker 1>you want to have people even with like a better

0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:03.840
<v Speaker 1>feeling for having seen or met you. I feel like

0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:05.600
<v Speaker 1>that's the most that you can really. I feel like

0:21:05.640 --> 0:21:09.840
<v Speaker 1>that really is everybody smiles when they remember my mother,

0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:13.520
<v Speaker 1>every single person and the people that have come out

0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:15.400
<v Speaker 1>of the woodwork going. I sat next to your mother

0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:17.720
<v Speaker 1>at a dinner in nine and I've got to tell

0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:20.600
<v Speaker 1>you it was one of the you know that that's

0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:22.800
<v Speaker 1>that is the most and the best that we can

0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:26.399
<v Speaker 1>hope for. But it's weird how maybe it's now that

0:21:26.400 --> 0:21:28.840
<v Speaker 1>there is just so much information shared, this idea that

0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:30.920
<v Speaker 1>if you don't have a private plane and if you're

0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:34.280
<v Speaker 1>not earning, you know, you don't have a hundred zeros

0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:37.120
<v Speaker 1>after the amount that you make in your life. I mean,

0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:40.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, like we're it's so it's become so

0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:45.320
<v Speaker 1>disconnected what an idea of a successful life is. Yeah, right,

0:21:45.400 --> 0:21:47.959
<v Speaker 1>Well Hollywood can do that to you, you know, that

0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:52.480
<v Speaker 1>can make you very disconnected. Yeah, totally. Maybe that's why

0:21:52.520 --> 0:21:58.000
<v Speaker 1>I am the way that I am. An extract driver

0:21:58.160 --> 0:22:00.280
<v Speaker 1>is what you are, and that's what you don't really Wait,

0:22:00.280 --> 0:22:02.119
<v Speaker 1>did I tell you? When Kate and I, my sister

0:22:02.160 --> 0:22:04.160
<v Speaker 1>and I were driving down Sunset Boulevard and we saw

0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:06.680
<v Speaker 1>this billboard. I always called it my billboard because when

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:09.000
<v Speaker 1>when Circle of Friends first came out, my friend took

0:22:09.040 --> 0:22:11.359
<v Speaker 1>me there and he made me stand outside of his rabbit,

0:22:11.680 --> 0:22:14.200
<v Speaker 1>his v W rabbit, and he was like, cleose your eyes, okay,

0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:16.080
<v Speaker 1>now look and there was this. I was on a

0:22:16.119 --> 0:22:19.840
<v Speaker 1>billboard and it was exciting. So anyway, we're driving down Sunset.

0:22:19.920 --> 0:22:22.840
<v Speaker 1>We see this billboard and Kate looks at there are

0:22:22.880 --> 0:22:27.399
<v Speaker 1>three men on it. She went, she went, oh my god,

0:22:28.280 --> 0:22:35.399
<v Speaker 1>we've slept with a hundred percent of that billboard. I

0:22:35.600 --> 0:22:39.399
<v Speaker 1>died laughing. I was like, that is connection in Hollywood

0:22:39.760 --> 0:22:42.040
<v Speaker 1>right there. I missed your sister. I haven't seen her

0:22:42.040 --> 0:22:44.040
<v Speaker 1>since COVID obviously because I haven't been over to London,

0:22:44.119 --> 0:22:46.720
<v Speaker 1>but she and I had some really fun nights together

0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:48.880
<v Speaker 1>when I was over there. I know she would send

0:22:48.920 --> 0:22:50.399
<v Speaker 1>you a huge I got to tell her that I

0:22:50.440 --> 0:22:52.160
<v Speaker 1>was doing this. She would send you a huge hug.

0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:54.440
<v Speaker 1>She's actually on the line eaves dropping, so you can

0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:58.080
<v Speaker 1>just say hi to her. What's up, Bates. So we

0:22:58.200 --> 0:23:00.800
<v Speaker 1>have callers that call in and we give life advice

0:23:01.040 --> 0:23:03.719
<v Speaker 1>and we kind of curate the episode two things that

0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:06.440
<v Speaker 1>you might talk about publicly or have and we just

0:23:06.520 --> 0:23:09.120
<v Speaker 1>kind of give them feedback. And people are pretty kind

0:23:09.119 --> 0:23:11.440
<v Speaker 1>of serious when they call in here. So get ready, sister,

0:23:12.240 --> 0:23:14.920
<v Speaker 1>all right, that's what we're gonna do today on Dear Chelsea.

0:23:15.160 --> 0:23:18.679
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna get advice from many driver, from myself and

0:23:18.720 --> 0:23:21.159
<v Speaker 1>from my producer Katherine, and we're going to give it

0:23:21.200 --> 0:23:24.000
<v Speaker 1>to you straight, yes, but before we do that, we're

0:23:24.000 --> 0:23:31.760
<v Speaker 1>going to take a quick ad break. Hi, everybody, We're

0:23:31.760 --> 0:23:33.600
<v Speaker 1>back from our break. Okay. I hope that was as

0:23:33.640 --> 0:23:36.400
<v Speaker 1>gratifying for you as it was for us. Wonderful. Well,

0:23:36.520 --> 0:23:39.960
<v Speaker 1>we have some questions many and Chelsea, and our first

0:23:40.000 --> 0:23:46.040
<v Speaker 1>one comes from frustrated step mom. She says, Dear Chelsea,

0:23:46.320 --> 0:23:49.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm twenty eight and my boyfriend have been together for

0:23:49.800 --> 0:23:52.679
<v Speaker 1>two years. We moved fast. We were friends when we

0:23:52.680 --> 0:23:55.400
<v Speaker 1>were younger, and have lived together almost the entire time.

0:23:56.000 --> 0:23:59.920
<v Speaker 1>He has two daughters, aged five and three. I'm very

0:24:00.040 --> 0:24:03.080
<v Speaker 1>involved with them, picking them up from school and taking

0:24:03.080 --> 0:24:06.439
<v Speaker 1>them there, and I absolutely adore them. The problem is

0:24:06.680 --> 0:24:09.280
<v Speaker 1>their mom raises them very differently than me and my

0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:12.199
<v Speaker 1>boyfriend wish to. I obviously don't want to step on

0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:14.679
<v Speaker 1>her toes at all, but it's very hard when she

0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:18.320
<v Speaker 1>refuses to actively potty train them and feeds them McDonald's

0:24:18.400 --> 0:24:21.400
<v Speaker 1>or whatever, and then they come here and we struggle

0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:23.680
<v Speaker 1>to get them to eat real food and they've regressed

0:24:23.680 --> 0:24:26.280
<v Speaker 1>on whatever we're working on. I know you're not a mom,

0:24:26.400 --> 0:24:29.120
<v Speaker 1>but do you have any advice ps. I was an

0:24:29.119 --> 0:24:31.840
<v Speaker 1>early childhood educator for five and a half years, so

0:24:31.880 --> 0:24:33.800
<v Speaker 1>I do know a bit about kids, and all I

0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:37.800
<v Speaker 1>want to do is help them. Sincerely, frustrated step mom,

0:24:37.800 --> 0:24:40.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, well many many is a mother? Many would

0:24:40.920 --> 0:24:45.840
<v Speaker 1>you like to take this first? Gosh? I mean, I

0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:49.840
<v Speaker 1>don't envy you. I feel for you because you're also

0:24:50.080 --> 0:24:54.639
<v Speaker 1>very young, and your boyfriend had children very young, and

0:24:54.720 --> 0:24:57.640
<v Speaker 1>it's so I'm imagining that the co parent, the mother

0:24:57.920 --> 0:25:00.400
<v Speaker 1>is also very young. And when you and you don't

0:25:00.400 --> 0:25:03.399
<v Speaker 1>like anybody telling you anything, all I can say is

0:25:03.640 --> 0:25:06.840
<v Speaker 1>because my son he lives with me, but he goes

0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:09.800
<v Speaker 1>to his father's and he has a relationship there. And weirdly,

0:25:09.840 --> 0:25:12.119
<v Speaker 1>all you can really do trying to get someone to

0:25:12.160 --> 0:25:15.480
<v Speaker 1>do what you want them to do is an impossibility.

0:25:15.800 --> 0:25:18.120
<v Speaker 1>It really is. Unless they want to do it, it's

0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:20.040
<v Speaker 1>not going to happen, and all you're gonna do is

0:25:20.240 --> 0:25:23.480
<v Speaker 1>frustrate yourself. So it's you might not want to hear it,

0:25:23.520 --> 0:25:26.760
<v Speaker 1>but it really is. You maintain, you hold your course

0:25:26.840 --> 0:25:29.600
<v Speaker 1>in your household and what the rules in your household

0:25:29.600 --> 0:25:32.679
<v Speaker 1>are and how it runs and what happens there, and

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:38.119
<v Speaker 1>you do that gently and kindly with consistency, and I

0:25:38.160 --> 0:25:42.520
<v Speaker 1>think by creating that environment the children while they're being

0:25:42.560 --> 0:25:48.680
<v Speaker 1>given an alternative experience in another household, hopefully that consistency

0:25:48.720 --> 0:25:51.960
<v Speaker 1>will bring them back to you. But I don't. You

0:25:52.000 --> 0:25:55.000
<v Speaker 1>can't get her to stop feeding them McDonald's. You can

0:25:55.040 --> 0:25:58.400
<v Speaker 1>have conversations about it, perhaps with her, if she's open

0:25:58.440 --> 0:26:02.120
<v Speaker 1>to that, But because you can't change what she's doing,

0:26:02.359 --> 0:26:04.360
<v Speaker 1>you can only carry on doing what you do with

0:26:04.760 --> 0:26:07.840
<v Speaker 1>love and compassion. And I know it's really annoying when

0:26:07.840 --> 0:26:11.280
<v Speaker 1>people say that, but it is true. You guys, just

0:26:11.440 --> 0:26:13.240
<v Speaker 1>do you and make it the place that they want

0:26:13.280 --> 0:26:15.800
<v Speaker 1>to be, make those the choices that they want to make.

0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:18.000
<v Speaker 1>Raise them to be kids who can decide what is

0:26:18.000 --> 0:26:22.040
<v Speaker 1>good for them and to choose make good choices. That's

0:26:22.080 --> 0:26:25.160
<v Speaker 1>what you can do. That'll probably feel better. I think

0:26:25.160 --> 0:26:28.000
<v Speaker 1>that's great advice. That's their mother. You can't tell her

0:26:28.080 --> 0:26:30.520
<v Speaker 1>what to do, so you can only set the example

0:26:30.560 --> 0:26:33.760
<v Speaker 1>for when they're with you. And kids respect rules even

0:26:33.800 --> 0:26:36.320
<v Speaker 1>when they don't like it and they rebel against it.

0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:38.159
<v Speaker 1>It's like it sets you up for success in the

0:26:38.200 --> 0:26:40.399
<v Speaker 1>long run. So you have your set of rules at

0:26:40.400 --> 0:26:42.320
<v Speaker 1>your house and she does what she wants at her house.

0:26:42.359 --> 0:26:45.800
<v Speaker 1>You can't control any of that, so yeah, just give

0:26:45.840 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 1>it your best shot and be consistent and be and

0:26:49.359 --> 0:26:51.600
<v Speaker 1>do your thing at your house, and you're going to

0:26:51.680 --> 0:26:53.720
<v Speaker 1>reap the rewards, probably not as soon as you'd like,

0:26:53.880 --> 0:26:57.280
<v Speaker 1>but eventually everything will come around into the right spot. Yeah,

0:26:57.320 --> 0:26:59.320
<v Speaker 1>they don't get McDonald's when they're at your house. Sorry,

0:26:59.840 --> 0:27:01.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, and you don't have to give into them.

0:27:01.800 --> 0:27:03.800
<v Speaker 1>You sound like you know what you're doing, So the

0:27:03.880 --> 0:27:05.760
<v Speaker 1>only thing you just have to do is probably just

0:27:06.800 --> 0:27:09.080
<v Speaker 1>refrain from thinking that you're going to have an impact

0:27:09.160 --> 0:27:13.960
<v Speaker 1>on her. Yeah. Yeah, that's true of everything. Yeah, I mean,

0:27:14.000 --> 0:27:16.800
<v Speaker 1>the only way to ever influence anybody anyways, by setting

0:27:16.800 --> 0:27:19.000
<v Speaker 1>your own example, not by telling them what to do.

0:27:19.359 --> 0:27:21.919
<v Speaker 1>Nobody listens to that. I mean maybe some people do,

0:27:22.000 --> 0:27:27.240
<v Speaker 1>but I haven't met those people yet. Yeah. Well, our

0:27:27.280 --> 0:27:32.879
<v Speaker 1>next question comes from Taylor. Dear Chelsea. First off, I've

0:27:32.920 --> 0:27:34.960
<v Speaker 1>read all of your books, and you're the first person

0:27:35.000 --> 0:27:37.399
<v Speaker 1>I've been able to relate to after losing my brother.

0:27:37.640 --> 0:27:40.240
<v Speaker 1>What a shitty thing to relate to someone for, but

0:27:40.320 --> 0:27:44.480
<v Speaker 1>you're great. Anyways. I'm twenty five, engaged, living with my

0:27:44.560 --> 0:27:48.520
<v Speaker 1>fiance's parents and starting a business I've always wanted to own.

0:27:48.520 --> 0:27:50.880
<v Speaker 1>A food truck, which I've been working on opening since

0:27:50.920 --> 0:27:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I graduated college in May. I feel like it's been

0:27:54.960 --> 0:27:57.560
<v Speaker 1>the longest process to get this thing up and running,

0:27:57.600 --> 0:28:03.119
<v Speaker 1>with one million speed bumps, financial issues, timeline expectations, truck failures,

0:28:03.520 --> 0:28:07.600
<v Speaker 1>food service regulations, and of course COVID. It's still not

0:28:07.720 --> 0:28:10.119
<v Speaker 1>open and was supposed to be by this past summer,

0:28:10.200 --> 0:28:12.480
<v Speaker 1>and it's causing me a large amount of anxiety when

0:28:12.480 --> 0:28:15.119
<v Speaker 1>it comes to other people asking me about it. I

0:28:15.160 --> 0:28:18.040
<v Speaker 1>think my question is how do you process the stress

0:28:18.080 --> 0:28:21.320
<v Speaker 1>of people being so excited for you and your endeavors

0:28:21.320 --> 0:28:25.119
<v Speaker 1>while also feeling disappointed or like you've failed your own expectations.

0:28:25.720 --> 0:28:28.080
<v Speaker 1>It's to the point where I don't even like going

0:28:28.080 --> 0:28:31.000
<v Speaker 1>out for fear that someone will ask me when will

0:28:31.040 --> 0:28:33.600
<v Speaker 1>the food truck be up and running. It's almost done.

0:28:33.880 --> 0:28:35.439
<v Speaker 1>I've been saying that for a year now, but it

0:28:35.520 --> 0:28:39.080
<v Speaker 1>actually is. And at this point it's not even exciting

0:28:39.080 --> 0:28:42.240
<v Speaker 1>to me anymore. I think once it's open, I'll feel

0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:49.320
<v Speaker 1>a ton better, but it's been weighing heavily on me. Taylor, Hi, Taylor, Hi, Taylor, Hello, Hi,

0:28:49.360 --> 0:28:52.880
<v Speaker 1>How are you good? How are you good? This is

0:28:52.920 --> 0:28:57.400
<v Speaker 1>Many She's here today as our special guest hither. Hello,

0:28:58.080 --> 0:29:01.480
<v Speaker 1>great to talk. Okay, so you were planning on starting

0:29:01.480 --> 0:29:04.360
<v Speaker 1>a food truck, right and it hasn't come to fruition

0:29:04.400 --> 0:29:08.240
<v Speaker 1>in the time. Is this because of COVID? Yeah, just COVID.

0:29:08.680 --> 0:29:11.600
<v Speaker 1>Lots of roadbumps, but I definitely would give it all

0:29:11.600 --> 0:29:14.840
<v Speaker 1>to COVID for the most part. Yeah. Well, at least

0:29:14.840 --> 0:29:17.920
<v Speaker 1>you have a good excuse, So there's that. So I

0:29:17.960 --> 0:29:20.440
<v Speaker 1>would take this as I've done this before in my life,

0:29:20.520 --> 0:29:22.600
<v Speaker 1>just so you know, like I've talked about something, talked

0:29:22.600 --> 0:29:24.600
<v Speaker 1>about something, talked about something, and then when it didn't

0:29:24.600 --> 0:29:26.840
<v Speaker 1>come to fruition in time, I felt like an idiot

0:29:26.920 --> 0:29:29.800
<v Speaker 1>because I was no longer interested in talking about it,

0:29:29.840 --> 0:29:32.120
<v Speaker 1>was sick of everybody asking me questions, and then kind

0:29:32.120 --> 0:29:35.640
<v Speaker 1>of had lost my you know, for it. So I

0:29:35.720 --> 0:29:38.120
<v Speaker 1>have taken it as a lesson for things in the

0:29:38.160 --> 0:29:41.479
<v Speaker 1>future first and foremost. You know, sometimes you don't need

0:29:41.520 --> 0:29:44.520
<v Speaker 1>to advertise everything that's going on until it actually is

0:29:44.720 --> 0:29:48.800
<v Speaker 1>close to happening, and you're learning that lesson. So what's

0:29:48.800 --> 0:29:51.320
<v Speaker 1>great about this is this a huge opportunity for growth

0:29:51.400 --> 0:29:54.800
<v Speaker 1>and learning Because you've done this, you know, it's not

0:29:54.920 --> 0:29:57.080
<v Speaker 1>a mistake. It's just something that you don't want to

0:29:57.120 --> 0:29:59.760
<v Speaker 1>do again, so make a note to yourself that you're

0:29:59.760 --> 0:30:02.520
<v Speaker 1>not going to. And in the interim when people are

0:30:02.560 --> 0:30:05.200
<v Speaker 1>asking you questions about it and blah bah blah, you

0:30:05.240 --> 0:30:07.520
<v Speaker 1>can be completely honest, Like I feel like I just

0:30:07.600 --> 0:30:10.000
<v Speaker 1>talked about it so much over it, you know what

0:30:10.040 --> 0:30:12.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean. There's nothing wrong with being honest, and people

0:30:12.560 --> 0:30:15.840
<v Speaker 1>always seem to have respect for that kind of integrity.

0:30:15.920 --> 0:30:18.320
<v Speaker 1>When you're talking about something. You don't have to lie

0:30:18.480 --> 0:30:20.720
<v Speaker 1>or make up excuses. You just have to be direct

0:30:20.760 --> 0:30:23.680
<v Speaker 1>and say, yeah, it's taken me longer than I thought.

0:30:23.680 --> 0:30:25.840
<v Speaker 1>I was supposed to start a cannabis company five years

0:30:25.840 --> 0:30:28.000
<v Speaker 1>ago and it still has not happened. And I just

0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:30.320
<v Speaker 1>tell people like it's been a ship show. Just can't

0:30:30.320 --> 0:30:32.680
<v Speaker 1>get it off the ground, like every time something happens,

0:30:32.680 --> 0:30:35.719
<v Speaker 1>something else happens and we can't sign the paperwork. You know.

0:30:35.840 --> 0:30:39.120
<v Speaker 1>But I'm no longer embarrassed about it because I never

0:30:39.240 --> 0:30:40.880
<v Speaker 1>was embarrassed about it because I kind of learned that

0:30:40.960 --> 0:30:43.400
<v Speaker 1>lesson a long time ago. It's like I didn't overly

0:30:44.120 --> 0:30:47.000
<v Speaker 1>promote something that I and it's not my fault, So

0:30:47.240 --> 0:30:49.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, you have all of those things on your side.

0:30:49.400 --> 0:30:51.600
<v Speaker 1>It's like it's more a little it's it sounds like

0:30:51.600 --> 0:30:54.440
<v Speaker 1>it's a little bit more about ego, you know, which

0:30:54.920 --> 0:30:58.680
<v Speaker 1>is something that is easily kind of it's easy to

0:30:58.680 --> 0:31:02.440
<v Speaker 1>get over. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I have been talking to

0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:05.600
<v Speaker 1>people and when people do bring it up lately, I'm like, honestly,

0:31:05.760 --> 0:31:10.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm just over talking about it. It'll happen eventually, like,

0:31:10.400 --> 0:31:12.520
<v Speaker 1>but for now, I just don't even want to talk

0:31:12.520 --> 0:31:14.520
<v Speaker 1>about it. I'll be like, just stay tuned and if

0:31:14.520 --> 0:31:17.080
<v Speaker 1>I post about it, it's gonna happen if not, And

0:31:17.120 --> 0:31:20.560
<v Speaker 1>what are you doing in the meantime, Oh, just anything

0:31:20.560 --> 0:31:23.160
<v Speaker 1>and everything. Like after I got my degree, I didn't

0:31:23.280 --> 0:31:25.760
<v Speaker 1>end up getting a job because I thought, you know,

0:31:25.840 --> 0:31:27.680
<v Speaker 1>the truck would be up and running a lot sooner

0:31:28.360 --> 0:31:30.800
<v Speaker 1>COVID hit. So I just have a lot of like

0:31:30.840 --> 0:31:33.080
<v Speaker 1>little odd jobs right now. But it should be up

0:31:33.120 --> 0:31:36.000
<v Speaker 1>and running here soon. And yeah, I just don't want

0:31:36.040 --> 0:31:38.040
<v Speaker 1>to commit to something like a career right now long

0:31:38.160 --> 0:31:40.240
<v Speaker 1>term while I'm working on this. I just want to

0:31:40.280 --> 0:31:43.760
<v Speaker 1>focus on it and get it going. Is it close

0:31:43.800 --> 0:31:46.400
<v Speaker 1>to happening now? Yeah, but it feels like it's been

0:31:46.440 --> 0:31:49.720
<v Speaker 1>close for a long time. But I think actually it

0:31:49.840 --> 0:31:53.280
<v Speaker 1>is close. Yeah, I think if you start to believe

0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:55.320
<v Speaker 1>that and it will that will have a powerful effect

0:31:55.320 --> 0:31:57.480
<v Speaker 1>on the outcome as well. Yeah, many do you have

0:31:57.520 --> 0:32:00.480
<v Speaker 1>any words of wisdom in this situation? Shn I know

0:32:00.520 --> 0:32:02.120
<v Speaker 1>that you've wanted to open up a food truck for

0:32:02.200 --> 0:32:07.800
<v Speaker 1>some time. Now, you know me and trucks. Chelsea. You

0:32:07.840 --> 0:32:10.640
<v Speaker 1>have the greatest reason in the world for telling people

0:32:10.800 --> 0:32:13.719
<v Speaker 1>that the timeline timelines for every single person in this

0:32:13.760 --> 0:32:17.240
<v Speaker 1>world were shot to ship with COVID. I'm literally looking

0:32:17.240 --> 0:32:19.920
<v Speaker 1>out at the ocean right now and there I'm looking

0:32:19.960 --> 0:32:23.560
<v Speaker 1>at like three tankards which are part of the supply chain,

0:32:23.760 --> 0:32:26.560
<v Speaker 1>like just hanging around waiting to go into the Port

0:32:26.560 --> 0:32:30.719
<v Speaker 1>of Los Angeles. So you're you're not alone, and I'm

0:32:30.760 --> 0:32:33.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure that people are a lot more understanding. It's

0:32:33.520 --> 0:32:35.960
<v Speaker 1>probably the pressure that you put on yourself to go God,

0:32:36.000 --> 0:32:37.880
<v Speaker 1>I said this thing was happening, and then there was

0:32:37.920 --> 0:32:40.640
<v Speaker 1>a global pandemic, and now it's not. It's not happening

0:32:40.680 --> 0:32:44.040
<v Speaker 1>on the same timeline. Getting rid of the timeline, getting

0:32:44.120 --> 0:32:45.719
<v Speaker 1>rid of the pressure, and going I want this thing

0:32:45.760 --> 0:32:47.760
<v Speaker 1>to happen, and I want it to happen. Now, if

0:32:47.800 --> 0:32:50.080
<v Speaker 1>we could just say I want this thing to happen

0:32:50.120 --> 0:32:52.800
<v Speaker 1>and I'm going to keep focusing on how awesome it's

0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:54.960
<v Speaker 1>going to be when it happens. I'm going to keep

0:32:54.960 --> 0:32:58.560
<v Speaker 1>working on the details and stay out of the timeline.

0:32:59.360 --> 0:33:01.920
<v Speaker 1>I it's the hard it's the hardest thing to do,

0:33:02.040 --> 0:33:06.080
<v Speaker 1>but it sometimes gives you relief to do that. Just

0:33:06.160 --> 0:33:09.040
<v Speaker 1>trust that there's sometimes a different itinerary than the one

0:33:09.080 --> 0:33:12.320
<v Speaker 1>that you have exactly. That's good advice. Yeah, timelines are

0:33:12.360 --> 0:33:14.240
<v Speaker 1>all in our you know, why are we making these

0:33:14.280 --> 0:33:17.280
<v Speaker 1>time constructs anyway? Just it's gonna happen when it's supposed

0:33:17.320 --> 0:33:18.800
<v Speaker 1>to happen, when it's right, and when it's going to

0:33:18.880 --> 0:33:21.959
<v Speaker 1>be the most successful, and it's not far off it sounds,

0:33:22.000 --> 0:33:24.280
<v Speaker 1>so I think you're on the right. Remembering that, it

0:33:24.360 --> 0:33:27.000
<v Speaker 1>just keeps just keep keep thinking that. I mean, even

0:33:27.040 --> 0:33:30.200
<v Speaker 1>in the best of times, especially when you're starting a business,

0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:32.800
<v Speaker 1>you only have so much runway. I mean I was

0:33:32.800 --> 0:33:35.120
<v Speaker 1>an entrepreneur once upon a time, and it was like

0:33:35.440 --> 0:33:38.720
<v Speaker 1>whether it was financial runway or emotional runway or attention

0:33:38.760 --> 0:33:41.920
<v Speaker 1>span runway, like you just only have so much and

0:33:41.920 --> 0:33:44.920
<v Speaker 1>and having COVID have dropped in your lap in the

0:33:44.920 --> 0:33:48.800
<v Speaker 1>middle of that runway is super frustrating. So like what

0:33:48.880 --> 0:33:52.280
<v Speaker 1>Chelsea said, being honest and being like, it's super frustrating.

0:33:52.280 --> 0:33:54.560
<v Speaker 1>We keep running into all these delays and it sucks,

0:33:54.640 --> 0:33:56.840
<v Speaker 1>but like, when it happens, I'm so excited. I think

0:33:56.840 --> 0:34:00.880
<v Speaker 1>that's the best case scenario. Yeah, yeah, well, good luck

0:34:00.920 --> 0:34:03.120
<v Speaker 1>to you and keep us, keep us posted to how

0:34:03.160 --> 0:34:07.080
<v Speaker 1>that goes. Definitely, thank you guys, Thank you Taylor. Yeah,

0:34:07.120 --> 0:34:11.120
<v Speaker 1>good luck all right, bye bye bye. I'm glad we

0:34:11.120 --> 0:34:13.719
<v Speaker 1>were here to help her. I'm glad we were there

0:34:13.760 --> 0:34:19.879
<v Speaker 1>to help her as well. Young people. I was remembering

0:34:20.840 --> 0:34:23.960
<v Speaker 1>being young the other day and how much you just

0:34:24.000 --> 0:34:26.200
<v Speaker 1>thought that it was an outrage when everything didn't come

0:34:26.200 --> 0:34:29.399
<v Speaker 1>to you immediately. Because now I just sit around being

0:34:29.440 --> 0:34:33.720
<v Speaker 1>so grateful if anything actually shows up. Yeah, if anything

0:34:33.760 --> 0:34:36.279
<v Speaker 1>works out. And when you're young, everything is an emergency.

0:34:36.880 --> 0:34:40.200
<v Speaker 1>Everything well, like a few months feels like forever when

0:34:40.239 --> 0:34:43.360
<v Speaker 1>you're five. I know it does. It does, and I

0:34:43.400 --> 0:34:46.239
<v Speaker 1>think I think it's it's okay. Young people shouldn't be

0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:49.960
<v Speaker 1>thinking about what older people like. It's it's such a

0:34:50.000 --> 0:34:53.880
<v Speaker 1>different season. It's it's so weird. I sound like I

0:34:53.920 --> 0:34:56.839
<v Speaker 1>sound like a crone now now that I'm actually moving

0:34:56.880 --> 0:34:59.959
<v Speaker 1>into that particular archetype. But it is it is true.

0:35:00.520 --> 0:35:04.319
<v Speaker 1>We're not supposed to be thinking about that when we're young.

0:35:04.480 --> 0:35:07.960
<v Speaker 1>You're you're meant to be burning through all of that youth.

0:35:08.200 --> 0:35:11.000
<v Speaker 1>I guess. Yeah. It'd be so fun, though, to go

0:35:11.080 --> 0:35:13.759
<v Speaker 1>back to being a young person with this mindset, you know.

0:35:13.920 --> 0:35:17.840
<v Speaker 1>I wish that could happen. I know, I know, what's

0:35:17.840 --> 0:35:20.080
<v Speaker 1>that quote, youth has wasted on the young, which is

0:35:20.680 --> 0:35:23.080
<v Speaker 1>so tripe but so true. It's a it's a true.

0:35:23.080 --> 0:35:26.319
<v Speaker 1>It's stripe because it is true all of those kind

0:35:26.360 --> 0:35:28.600
<v Speaker 1>of kinds of things. It's like, oh god, yeah, But

0:35:28.800 --> 0:35:30.760
<v Speaker 1>if I had this mindset and then you meet sometimes

0:35:30.800 --> 0:35:32.800
<v Speaker 1>you meet younger people who have their ships so together,

0:35:32.840 --> 0:35:34.799
<v Speaker 1>you're like, what's up with you? Where the fund did

0:35:34.840 --> 0:35:37.960
<v Speaker 1>you come from? You're so sagacious and smart and know

0:35:38.080 --> 0:35:40.440
<v Speaker 1>that you already know what many adults don't know yet.

0:35:40.840 --> 0:35:43.000
<v Speaker 1>I think my son is like that. I had him

0:35:43.040 --> 0:35:45.160
<v Speaker 1>read something the other day. I was like, you've got

0:35:45.160 --> 0:35:47.200
<v Speaker 1>to read this article because you know, this is like

0:35:47.280 --> 0:35:49.879
<v Speaker 1>from one of the great modern thinkers had written this piece.

0:35:49.920 --> 0:35:51.479
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, Henry, you've just got to read

0:35:51.520 --> 0:35:53.640
<v Speaker 1>this because like, I can't stop thinking about it. And

0:35:53.640 --> 0:35:56.000
<v Speaker 1>he read and he was like, yeah, I know, I

0:35:56.040 --> 0:35:59.600
<v Speaker 1>call bullshit on that, and he's like, yeah, just feel

0:35:59.640 --> 0:36:01.319
<v Speaker 1>like bullis it? To me? It just feels like a

0:36:01.360 --> 0:36:04.360
<v Speaker 1>whole bunch of words and a whole lot of not doing.

0:36:05.680 --> 0:36:08.760
<v Speaker 1>That's so funny. I love I love you doing his accent.

0:36:08.880 --> 0:36:12.000
<v Speaker 1>That's really something. He's very sure. I love it when

0:36:12.040 --> 0:36:14.680
<v Speaker 1>young people are sure. Even my Hubris, I like that.

0:36:14.760 --> 0:36:17.399
<v Speaker 1>It's like, no, this is the way that it's going

0:36:17.440 --> 0:36:19.560
<v Speaker 1>to be. This is how it is, and that's bullshit

0:36:19.680 --> 0:36:22.319
<v Speaker 1>and this is cool. Yeah. I like self assuredness in

0:36:22.320 --> 0:36:26.399
<v Speaker 1>any person. That's always such an attractive quality. I agree, absolutely,

0:36:26.480 --> 0:36:29.360
<v Speaker 1>But there's a complete difference between dogma and being self assured.

0:36:29.520 --> 0:36:32.760
<v Speaker 1>It's like a self assured person can, I think, can

0:36:32.880 --> 0:36:36.359
<v Speaker 1>be flexible and move with whatever they're presented with because

0:36:36.360 --> 0:36:39.840
<v Speaker 1>they're just sure of who they are within whatever Maelstrom

0:36:40.000 --> 0:36:43.120
<v Speaker 1>they find themselves in. Maybe it's just my kid. Well,

0:36:43.200 --> 0:36:45.440
<v Speaker 1>kids are pretty self assured these days. They're a little

0:36:45.480 --> 0:36:47.399
<v Speaker 1>bit smarter than we were. They have a little bit

0:36:47.400 --> 0:36:51.319
<v Speaker 1>more access to intellectual property and stupid properties. I mean,

0:36:51.600 --> 0:36:57.280
<v Speaker 1>they also do sit on TikTok video. Oh my god,

0:36:57.600 --> 0:36:59.239
<v Speaker 1>my sister was here a couple of weeks ago, and

0:36:59.320 --> 0:37:01.720
<v Speaker 1>we're like all real had all gone skiing, and everyone's

0:37:01.760 --> 0:37:03.960
<v Speaker 1>lying on around in the living room and I look

0:37:04.000 --> 0:37:06.440
<v Speaker 1>at my sister, who's fifty five, and she's like scrolling

0:37:06.440 --> 0:37:08.000
<v Speaker 1>and I could see just by her eyes. I was like,

0:37:08.040 --> 0:37:10.200
<v Speaker 1>what are you doing? Are you on Instagram? She's like,

0:37:10.200 --> 0:37:16.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm on TikTok? Sman, get off TikTok right now, get

0:37:16.560 --> 0:37:19.440
<v Speaker 1>off the TikTok. What do we have next, Catherine? Our

0:37:19.480 --> 0:37:23.200
<v Speaker 1>next email comes from Miranda from Sex in the City.

0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:25.799
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I hope so, but she's not on the phone.

0:37:25.880 --> 0:37:30.600
<v Speaker 1>So somebody said to me the other day and they go,

0:37:30.600 --> 0:37:33.280
<v Speaker 1>how did Miranda becomes so stupid all of a sudden?

0:37:33.320 --> 0:37:35.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, why is she said? She was so exactly,

0:37:35.880 --> 0:37:37.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yeah, all of a sudden, she doesn't know

0:37:37.600 --> 0:37:41.879
<v Speaker 1>anything about you know, equality or social injustice. Like that's

0:37:41.880 --> 0:37:44.840
<v Speaker 1>a Christian character trait, not a Miranda. And what's up

0:37:44.880 --> 0:37:48.200
<v Speaker 1>with her husband? Why did they do that to him? Why?

0:37:49.120 --> 0:37:50.839
<v Speaker 1>Why do they make him like an eighty five yeld

0:37:50.840 --> 0:37:52.759
<v Speaker 1>They made him at my grandpa? And then why do

0:37:52.840 --> 0:37:55.759
<v Speaker 1>they do that? Like he's literally like fifty six or something.

0:37:55.920 --> 0:38:01.360
<v Speaker 1>I could subsurd treating him? What God? Here ham Barber's

0:38:01.400 --> 0:38:05.120
<v Speaker 1>Market it's like, what are you doing? That's so true,

0:38:05.160 --> 0:38:06.960
<v Speaker 1>it's so funny. I haven't been able to access the

0:38:07.000 --> 0:38:09.919
<v Speaker 1>most recent episodes because I'm in Canada, and that there's

0:38:10.080 --> 0:38:14.799
<v Speaker 1>like from what I'm hearing, that's exactly right. It's like

0:38:15.719 --> 0:38:19.879
<v Speaker 1>super weird. It's like a geriatric installment, super weird. It's

0:38:19.920 --> 0:38:22.880
<v Speaker 1>like the eighty and they're not eighty that these beautiful,

0:38:23.120 --> 0:38:27.520
<v Speaker 1>gorgeous people. I didn't get it's weird. I don't buy it.

0:38:27.520 --> 0:38:29.200
<v Speaker 1>It's like they've been in a coma for like the

0:38:29.400 --> 0:38:32.719
<v Speaker 1>entire time. It was full week. I just said this

0:38:32.840 --> 0:38:34.440
<v Speaker 1>with my best friend the other day. We were like,

0:38:34.480 --> 0:38:37.719
<v Speaker 1>it's like they've rumple stilt skinned all of them. What

0:38:37.960 --> 0:38:44.480
<v Speaker 1>is this? Oh my god, this podcast technology? Even what

0:38:44.640 --> 0:38:47.280
<v Speaker 1>have you been the last ten years? Like you were alive?

0:38:47.480 --> 0:38:52.040
<v Speaker 1>You went in a shoe box in New York the

0:38:52.120 --> 0:38:53.920
<v Speaker 1>other thing. I mean, tell me if this is just

0:38:54.000 --> 0:38:57.560
<v Speaker 1>like crushes your heart. But they go to what they

0:38:57.640 --> 0:39:02.680
<v Speaker 1>keep calling a comedy concert, and I just I'm like,

0:39:03.000 --> 0:39:07.279
<v Speaker 1>I mean what I called a comedy concert? I guess

0:39:07.320 --> 0:39:12.520
<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying, keeping like we went to their comedy concert,

0:39:12.600 --> 0:39:15.279
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, what, no one has ever said that phrase? Ever,

0:39:15.960 --> 0:39:19.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, it's so it's so true because Sarah

0:39:19.800 --> 0:39:21.960
<v Speaker 1>Mirrors is just she's doing stand up. But they call

0:39:22.000 --> 0:39:25.799
<v Speaker 1>it a comedy concert. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Maybe that's

0:39:25.800 --> 0:39:28.960
<v Speaker 1>because that's what old people call stand up comedy concert.

0:39:29.080 --> 0:39:33.399
<v Speaker 1>It's a concert of comedy. That's how boring. I'm gonna

0:39:33.480 --> 0:39:37.640
<v Speaker 1>change my tour name Vaccinated and horny. A comedy concert,

0:39:39.520 --> 0:39:44.239
<v Speaker 1>a COVID comedy concert concert? Do you want to get

0:39:44.239 --> 0:39:48.920
<v Speaker 1>COVID come to my show? Oh my god? Well, our

0:39:48.960 --> 0:39:52.879
<v Speaker 1>next email does come from Miranda. Dear Chelsea. My name

0:39:52.960 --> 0:39:55.560
<v Speaker 1>is Miranda and I'm twenty seven years old. My best

0:39:55.640 --> 0:39:59.080
<v Speaker 1>friend and I have been inseparable since seventh grade. We've

0:39:59.080 --> 0:40:01.719
<v Speaker 1>been through just about everything together. I was drawn to

0:40:01.719 --> 0:40:04.560
<v Speaker 1>her big personality and how outspoken she is because I'm

0:40:04.560 --> 0:40:08.040
<v Speaker 1>the opposite. However, we haven't talked since before Christmas over

0:40:08.120 --> 0:40:11.320
<v Speaker 1>something very stupid. It was very frustrating because she was

0:40:11.360 --> 0:40:13.399
<v Speaker 1>home for Christmas and didn't bother to see me, even

0:40:13.440 --> 0:40:15.560
<v Speaker 1>though I did try to make plans. Because of the

0:40:15.640 --> 0:40:19.160
<v Speaker 1>stupid disagreement, I think our friendship no longer serves us.

0:40:19.400 --> 0:40:22.400
<v Speaker 1>I often get scolded by her or ignored. I've always

0:40:22.440 --> 0:40:24.279
<v Speaker 1>just put up with how she treats me because I

0:40:24.320 --> 0:40:27.399
<v Speaker 1>don't want to lose her. Family and friends say that's

0:40:27.480 --> 0:40:29.960
<v Speaker 1>just how she is, because of how easily she can

0:40:29.960 --> 0:40:33.120
<v Speaker 1>be set off. I think there's an unspoken agreement that

0:40:33.239 --> 0:40:36.160
<v Speaker 1>we're done. We have never gone this long without speaking,

0:40:36.560 --> 0:40:38.399
<v Speaker 1>and I don't want to be mean or point out

0:40:38.440 --> 0:40:41.120
<v Speaker 1>things in her character that I don't like. I'm afraid

0:40:41.160 --> 0:40:42.879
<v Speaker 1>she'll do that to me if I try to reach out.

0:40:43.160 --> 0:40:47.799
<v Speaker 1>But does our fifteen year friendship deserve a formal breakup best, Miranda?

0:40:49.040 --> 0:40:53.919
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I've had a lot of friend breakups, Yeah,

0:40:53.960 --> 0:40:56.000
<v Speaker 1>and then I got back together with them, Like it

0:40:56.120 --> 0:40:59.000
<v Speaker 1>makes somebody took a couple of years. I think sometimes

0:40:59.040 --> 0:41:01.919
<v Speaker 1>you don't need a formal goodbye because then you're leaving.

0:41:01.960 --> 0:41:04.680
<v Speaker 1>It also open ended for you know, maybe six months

0:41:04.760 --> 0:41:07.000
<v Speaker 1>or a year down the road, for you guys to

0:41:07.040 --> 0:41:09.719
<v Speaker 1>come together maybe again, and you might care a lot

0:41:09.800 --> 0:41:12.200
<v Speaker 1>less about the things you care about right now. And

0:41:12.400 --> 0:41:14.680
<v Speaker 1>that might be true for her as well. You know,

0:41:14.719 --> 0:41:16.799
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't sound like there was some huge fissure. It

0:41:16.800 --> 0:41:19.439
<v Speaker 1>sounds like you just have personality types and there's it's

0:41:19.440 --> 0:41:22.640
<v Speaker 1>totally acceptable during our friendship or any relationship to kind

0:41:22.640 --> 0:41:24.799
<v Speaker 1>of go your own ways for a little bit each

0:41:24.800 --> 0:41:26.919
<v Speaker 1>of you, and I think that's healthy and you should

0:41:26.960 --> 0:41:30.759
<v Speaker 1>embrace that, and you can actually examine how different things

0:41:30.840 --> 0:41:33.440
<v Speaker 1>are without her in your life, you know, if if

0:41:33.440 --> 0:41:36.000
<v Speaker 1>it's a positive impact or a negative impact, you know,

0:41:36.400 --> 0:41:37.960
<v Speaker 1>if you look at the world a little bit more

0:41:38.000 --> 0:41:40.160
<v Speaker 1>differently when you don't have her in your life, or

0:41:40.160 --> 0:41:42.120
<v Speaker 1>the opposite is true. It's a good it's a good

0:41:42.120 --> 0:41:46.920
<v Speaker 1>time for self examination and friendship examination. Yeah. Definitely. Me

0:41:46.960 --> 0:41:49.640
<v Speaker 1>and my best friend of like twenty years, we worke

0:41:49.719 --> 0:41:51.480
<v Speaker 1>up for four years, and in that time, she got

0:41:51.480 --> 0:41:54.640
<v Speaker 1>married and had a baby and got divorced. And actually

0:41:54.719 --> 0:41:56.520
<v Speaker 1>I was the perfect person at the end of this

0:41:56.600 --> 0:41:59.879
<v Speaker 1>whole thing. I knew her so well to be able

0:41:59.920 --> 0:42:01.880
<v Speaker 1>to a kind of counsel because I hadn't been in

0:42:02.320 --> 0:42:05.880
<v Speaker 1>the drama of everything. And when we did come back together,

0:42:06.360 --> 0:42:09.280
<v Speaker 1>it was like a whole new friendship. It was really interesting.

0:42:10.000 --> 0:42:12.480
<v Speaker 1>I think I think it was. I think it's okay

0:42:12.560 --> 0:42:15.040
<v Speaker 1>exactly as you said, to go your separate ways for

0:42:15.080 --> 0:42:17.600
<v Speaker 1>a while, and then you know, you can find your

0:42:17.600 --> 0:42:20.560
<v Speaker 1>way back, you know, I think you often do find

0:42:20.600 --> 0:42:23.000
<v Speaker 1>your way back. Did you say you were counseling you

0:42:23.000 --> 0:42:25.120
<v Speaker 1>were the perfect person to counsel her or she was

0:42:25.120 --> 0:42:28.120
<v Speaker 1>the perfect person to counsel you, kind of both, but

0:42:28.280 --> 0:42:31.600
<v Speaker 1>really about her husband and their divorce and being able

0:42:31.600 --> 0:42:33.680
<v Speaker 1>to look at it in a much more sanguine way

0:42:34.040 --> 0:42:38.000
<v Speaker 1>from not having been inside that relationship was I would

0:42:38.000 --> 0:42:40.120
<v Speaker 1>have been if we'd been as joined at the hip

0:42:40.120 --> 0:42:42.759
<v Speaker 1>as we had been. Oh yeah, yeah, it's nice when

0:42:42.760 --> 0:42:45.239
<v Speaker 1>you can come back together, right, really nice. It's a

0:42:45.239 --> 0:42:48.080
<v Speaker 1>perfect testament to like, who knows what kind of what

0:42:48.200 --> 0:42:50.640
<v Speaker 1>would have happened to your relationship had you been there

0:42:50.800 --> 0:42:53.640
<v Speaker 1>with that husband. You know, that could have been damaging

0:42:54.000 --> 0:42:57.360
<v Speaker 1>upon no repair. Who knows what all the circumstances, the

0:42:57.440 --> 0:43:00.000
<v Speaker 1>things that were prevented by allowing you guys to separate.

0:43:00.440 --> 0:43:02.319
<v Speaker 1>I look at things a lot like that, instead of

0:43:02.360 --> 0:43:04.920
<v Speaker 1>being upset that they're over, being like, this is obviously

0:43:04.960 --> 0:43:07.400
<v Speaker 1>some sort of gift that I can't see yet, you know,

0:43:08.040 --> 0:43:10.319
<v Speaker 1>and to take time away from people is always a

0:43:10.360 --> 0:43:12.680
<v Speaker 1>good thing, and it makes you really appreciate and and

0:43:12.840 --> 0:43:14.719
<v Speaker 1>understand if you are supposed to be friends with that

0:43:14.800 --> 0:43:17.480
<v Speaker 1>person and be that close with that person, and it's

0:43:17.600 --> 0:43:20.799
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's significant breaking up with a friend in

0:43:20.920 --> 0:43:23.200
<v Speaker 1>terms of you really have an opportunity to look at

0:43:23.200 --> 0:43:25.600
<v Speaker 1>yourself and go, well, that wasn't a love affair, which

0:43:25.640 --> 0:43:28.239
<v Speaker 1>can cloud one's judgment. But really this was like a

0:43:28.360 --> 0:43:30.840
<v Speaker 1>choice of this is a friendship, what is it in

0:43:30.880 --> 0:43:33.279
<v Speaker 1>me that is not working in this relationship anymore? Is

0:43:33.320 --> 0:43:35.719
<v Speaker 1>there stuff that I might need to look at? Like?

0:43:35.800 --> 0:43:38.719
<v Speaker 1>I think it offers a really a great opportunity for

0:43:38.760 --> 0:43:41.840
<v Speaker 1>self reflection. I think it's win win. If you're not

0:43:41.840 --> 0:43:43.600
<v Speaker 1>supposed to be friends with them, you won't and if

0:43:43.640 --> 0:43:45.440
<v Speaker 1>you are, then they'll come back, or you'll come back

0:43:45.440 --> 0:43:48.239
<v Speaker 1>together once you've had a bit of time apart. I

0:43:48.280 --> 0:43:50.839
<v Speaker 1>think it's okay. Yeah. I was talking to my mom

0:43:50.880 --> 0:43:52.880
<v Speaker 1>the other day and we were talking about friendships that

0:43:52.960 --> 0:43:55.839
<v Speaker 1>sort of come and go, and I mentioned, you know,

0:43:56.000 --> 0:43:59.160
<v Speaker 1>some people come into your life for a while and

0:43:59.160 --> 0:44:01.879
<v Speaker 1>and then they and then they leave. You know, maybe

0:44:01.880 --> 0:44:03.719
<v Speaker 1>they're not meant to be for your whole life. And

0:44:03.880 --> 0:44:06.000
<v Speaker 1>this stuck with me so much, but my mom said

0:44:06.360 --> 0:44:10.279
<v Speaker 1>most are like that, and yeah, it really is sat

0:44:10.360 --> 0:44:12.680
<v Speaker 1>with me because I was like, that's actually very true.

0:44:13.080 --> 0:44:15.359
<v Speaker 1>There are so few friendships that we might have for

0:44:15.880 --> 0:44:20.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, ten twenty thirty years, and most of them

0:44:20.080 --> 0:44:24.600
<v Speaker 1>are just meant to be there for a time. M Yeah,

0:44:24.680 --> 0:44:26.160
<v Speaker 1>that's a good way to look at things, you know,

0:44:26.480 --> 0:44:29.600
<v Speaker 1>because it is it is more unique to have. Most

0:44:29.640 --> 0:44:32.160
<v Speaker 1>of your friendships aren't your lifelong friendships. A lot of

0:44:32.160 --> 0:44:34.920
<v Speaker 1>them are. When you do have somebody from high school

0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:38.319
<v Speaker 1>or from primary school or something, you know, that's people

0:44:38.360 --> 0:44:40.359
<v Speaker 1>are always like, oh, really, you're still in touch with them?

0:44:40.360 --> 0:44:42.280
<v Speaker 1>You know. My sister has a good group of girlfriends

0:44:42.320 --> 0:44:45.480
<v Speaker 1>from college. I make friends. Every year, I make a

0:44:45.520 --> 0:44:47.680
<v Speaker 1>new friend, you know. I'm always making new friends. So

0:44:47.760 --> 0:44:49.760
<v Speaker 1>I have so many good girlfriends that are even recent

0:44:49.800 --> 0:44:52.120
<v Speaker 1>friends for the last five or six years, ever since

0:44:52.160 --> 0:44:54.839
<v Speaker 1>I started skiing, you know. So I just I don't

0:44:54.840 --> 0:44:56.800
<v Speaker 1>think there's one prescription for any of that, and you

0:44:56.840 --> 0:45:00.399
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't ever hold yourself to anything like that because it's

0:45:00.440 --> 0:45:03.520
<v Speaker 1>it's it's demanding and people need to grow and evolve. Yeah,

0:45:04.440 --> 0:45:07.080
<v Speaker 1>so there's that. There's that problem solved for you. I

0:45:07.120 --> 0:45:09.920
<v Speaker 1>hope keep us posted and let us know what happens

0:45:09.920 --> 0:45:12.200
<v Speaker 1>with your girlfriend and if you guys, you know how

0:45:12.239 --> 0:45:16.759
<v Speaker 1>you handle it. Okay, great, dear Chelsea. This is from

0:45:16.800 --> 0:45:20.080
<v Speaker 1>a van. I've read and enjoyed some of Chelsea's books,

0:45:20.120 --> 0:45:22.920
<v Speaker 1>and I've been astounded with our strength to be exposed.

0:45:23.280 --> 0:45:25.640
<v Speaker 1>I've written a book manuscript and have just started to

0:45:25.680 --> 0:45:28.600
<v Speaker 1>send it out to literary agents. See, I've always been

0:45:28.640 --> 0:45:31.120
<v Speaker 1>a writer. I'm astounded when I read stuff I wrote

0:45:31.160 --> 0:45:35.160
<v Speaker 1>in high school or college because my ideas were so misinformed.

0:45:35.680 --> 0:45:38.120
<v Speaker 1>I recognize that I wrote what I thought was through

0:45:38.200 --> 0:45:40.480
<v Speaker 1>at the time. But I'm on a continuous path of

0:45:40.520 --> 0:45:43.400
<v Speaker 1>growth and my opinions have evolved. How do you have

0:45:43.480 --> 0:45:46.719
<v Speaker 1>the conviction to publish anything with the knowledge that you

0:45:46.719 --> 0:45:51.680
<v Speaker 1>are also an evolving person? Sincerely, Ivan, Well, actually, Many

0:45:51.760 --> 0:45:53.719
<v Speaker 1>has a new book coming out in May, so I

0:45:53.719 --> 0:45:56.759
<v Speaker 1>think she can speak to this as well. Thanks for that,

0:45:56.840 --> 0:45:59.160
<v Speaker 1>because that's what keeps me up at night. That's what

0:45:59.280 --> 0:46:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I wake up sweating in the middle of the night,

0:46:01.600 --> 0:46:05.640
<v Speaker 1>going why am I putting this out here? Why am

0:46:05.640 --> 0:46:09.120
<v Speaker 1>I doing this? Listen? That's I did realize the other

0:46:09.200 --> 0:46:11.160
<v Speaker 1>day that the no book has ever finished. You know,

0:46:11.200 --> 0:46:13.879
<v Speaker 1>you might put the final period, but it's not finished ever.

0:46:14.520 --> 0:46:17.680
<v Speaker 1>You just have to stop writing at some point. If

0:46:17.719 --> 0:46:20.080
<v Speaker 1>you're a writer, you put stuff out into the world.

0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:22.560
<v Speaker 1>If you create content, if you are an artist, whatever

0:46:22.600 --> 0:46:25.840
<v Speaker 1>words you want to want to call it, you create

0:46:25.920 --> 0:46:28.319
<v Speaker 1>stuff and you put it out into the world and

0:46:28.880 --> 0:46:34.600
<v Speaker 1>that's just how it is. And I think, yes, you

0:46:34.840 --> 0:46:38.040
<v Speaker 1>evolve and your ideas evolved, but you know, as long

0:46:38.080 --> 0:46:42.040
<v Speaker 1>as they're not deeply problematic, I think that's okay. I

0:46:42.040 --> 0:46:44.080
<v Speaker 1>think one can look at stuff and go, you know what,

0:46:44.800 --> 0:46:46.880
<v Speaker 1>I might not want to talk about that time I

0:46:46.960 --> 0:46:50.799
<v Speaker 1>killed a horse. You know, It's like you can write

0:46:50.840 --> 0:46:53.240
<v Speaker 1>from the vanche point of where you are and stand

0:46:53.239 --> 0:46:56.799
<v Speaker 1>in that truth and go, this might change. So then

0:46:56.880 --> 0:47:00.480
<v Speaker 1>write another book about how it's changed. But can't not

0:47:00.719 --> 0:47:03.600
<v Speaker 1>right because you're scared that time is going to move

0:47:03.600 --> 0:47:06.359
<v Speaker 1>on and it might make your stuff look old. I mean,

0:47:07.040 --> 0:47:10.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, I think Dostoyevski is turning in his grave

0:47:10.360 --> 0:47:14.680
<v Speaker 1>or any dead author. And I think also writing something

0:47:14.800 --> 0:47:16.600
<v Speaker 1>is being very much in the moment. You know, you're

0:47:16.600 --> 0:47:19.680
<v Speaker 1>writing what your experience is up to right now, you're talking,

0:47:19.760 --> 0:47:23.839
<v Speaker 1>You're being reflective in this moment. You know you it's

0:47:23.880 --> 0:47:26.960
<v Speaker 1>not about the future, it's about now. So that's what

0:47:27.160 --> 0:47:30.160
<v Speaker 1>one of the most freeing things I think about publishing

0:47:30.160 --> 0:47:32.440
<v Speaker 1>a book is like, Okay, I just put all of

0:47:32.480 --> 0:47:35.759
<v Speaker 1>that out there. That's gone now now you know, the

0:47:35.800 --> 0:47:39.040
<v Speaker 1>next project is going to be stuff that hasn't happened yet,

0:47:39.120 --> 0:47:41.440
<v Speaker 1>or stuff that I haven't contemplated yet. You know, I

0:47:41.480 --> 0:47:44.000
<v Speaker 1>may revisit old things, but it's like it's kind of

0:47:44.040 --> 0:47:47.400
<v Speaker 1>putting your stamp on a period of time. So I

0:47:47.480 --> 0:47:50.240
<v Speaker 1>like to look at it that way, like, here's my experience.

0:47:50.239 --> 0:47:54.160
<v Speaker 1>I've documented it. It's out there. Don't challenge me on

0:47:54.200 --> 0:47:57.120
<v Speaker 1>this because I've already expressed it. So it's out. You know,

0:47:57.200 --> 0:47:59.160
<v Speaker 1>I already said this, and I can always refer to it.

0:47:59.360 --> 0:48:01.560
<v Speaker 1>So there's a lot of advantages to putting out your

0:48:02.120 --> 0:48:04.799
<v Speaker 1>putting your stuff out there. There's a lot of, you know,

0:48:04.880 --> 0:48:08.000
<v Speaker 1>advantages personally professionally obviously, if you want to be a writer,

0:48:08.080 --> 0:48:09.640
<v Speaker 1>you want to be published. You know, that's one of

0:48:09.680 --> 0:48:12.000
<v Speaker 1>the goals of being a writer. Not everybody's goal, but

0:48:12.040 --> 0:48:14.800
<v Speaker 1>you know many writers. Yeah, there's a huge advantage to

0:48:14.880 --> 0:48:19.279
<v Speaker 1>documenting your experience. Here, I agree, and there you have it.

0:48:19.360 --> 0:48:22.480
<v Speaker 1>There you go, and there you have it. Well, we'll

0:48:22.480 --> 0:48:25.120
<v Speaker 1>take a quick break and we'll be back with many driver.

0:48:29.520 --> 0:48:31.480
<v Speaker 1>Minnie and I just took a bath together and we

0:48:31.520 --> 0:48:34.120
<v Speaker 1>are from on the seat of sky Highway actually because

0:48:34.120 --> 0:48:36.440
<v Speaker 1>it's raining, so we just had to stand outside nude.

0:48:36.760 --> 0:48:40.160
<v Speaker 1>We love to do that together as well. Anyway, we're

0:48:40.160 --> 0:48:43.799
<v Speaker 1>back from the break wonderful. Well many Was there any

0:48:43.840 --> 0:48:48.839
<v Speaker 1>advice that you'd like to ask for from Chelsea? Oh,

0:48:49.360 --> 0:48:53.799
<v Speaker 1>chelse yes, is it going to be marital advice? No,

0:48:55.280 --> 0:48:59.160
<v Speaker 1>it's not. How do you regroup when you've been professionally

0:48:59.200 --> 0:49:03.000
<v Speaker 1>punched in the face. Oh that's a good question, because

0:49:03.040 --> 0:49:08.200
<v Speaker 1>I've just been professionally punched in the face, and I'm

0:49:08.280 --> 0:49:11.640
<v Speaker 1>I really would love to know what you do. Well,

0:49:11.680 --> 0:49:16.160
<v Speaker 1>that's ego, mh. And so you have to understand that

0:49:16.160 --> 0:49:18.319
<v Speaker 1>that's ego, right, And then you have to sit there

0:49:18.360 --> 0:49:20.960
<v Speaker 1>and do the inside work of understanding that your value

0:49:21.000 --> 0:49:25.799
<v Speaker 1>isn't contingent upon outside success, even though your career is,

0:49:26.600 --> 0:49:30.160
<v Speaker 1>and you know your public persona is to a degree,

0:49:30.760 --> 0:49:33.640
<v Speaker 1>it's not the whole sum of your parts. It's a

0:49:33.719 --> 0:49:39.200
<v Speaker 1>part of your parts. So everyone, anytime I get punched

0:49:39.200 --> 0:49:42.279
<v Speaker 1>in the face, I look at it immediately like, oh

0:49:42.280 --> 0:49:46.120
<v Speaker 1>my god, this is a huge learning opportunity, huge, huge, huge, huge,

0:49:46.160 --> 0:49:50.400
<v Speaker 1>because your reaction is your strength of character, right, because

0:49:50.440 --> 0:49:52.879
<v Speaker 1>all of our reactions are like, it's a cut punch,

0:49:52.920 --> 0:49:55.040
<v Speaker 1>it's a gut punch. But after you get past that,

0:49:55.400 --> 0:49:58.160
<v Speaker 1>there are so many options to operate out of strength,

0:49:58.680 --> 0:50:01.719
<v Speaker 1>out of character and to understand that this is a

0:50:01.880 --> 0:50:05.080
<v Speaker 1>tiny little thing and the impermanence of everything, not the

0:50:05.120 --> 0:50:08.439
<v Speaker 1>biggest thing in a litany of things, a small small thing.

0:50:09.000 --> 0:50:11.759
<v Speaker 1>And we've all been through it before, so it's not

0:50:11.880 --> 0:50:14.160
<v Speaker 1>a new thing. It's part of the it's part of

0:50:14.160 --> 0:50:18.320
<v Speaker 1>the process, and it's not something that you should sit

0:50:18.480 --> 0:50:22.240
<v Speaker 1>too long in your ship fork Personally, in my opinion,

0:50:22.400 --> 0:50:25.799
<v Speaker 1>I would say that then you really are like, you know,

0:50:25.840 --> 0:50:29.000
<v Speaker 1>if you allow that sinking feeling to take over, that's

0:50:29.040 --> 0:50:32.879
<v Speaker 1>all your ego because you can easily pick yourself up

0:50:32.880 --> 0:50:34.799
<v Speaker 1>from that. You just give yourself a couple you know,

0:50:34.960 --> 0:50:37.080
<v Speaker 1>a shorter period of time, and then you're like, that's enough,

0:50:37.280 --> 0:50:39.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to cry in my own milk or anymore.

0:50:39.640 --> 0:50:42.520
<v Speaker 1>Like that's a wrap on that. And then the next

0:50:42.520 --> 0:50:45.480
<v Speaker 1>time it happens you have an even stronger reaction. And

0:50:45.640 --> 0:50:48.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, we've all been through it. So I don't

0:50:48.480 --> 0:50:51.080
<v Speaker 1>know if that helps, but I know that really it really,

0:50:51.080 --> 0:50:52.719
<v Speaker 1>it really does. I mean, it really is just the

0:50:52.760 --> 0:50:56.920
<v Speaker 1>notion of like, what is the opportunity. I'm wildly vengeful

0:50:57.400 --> 0:51:01.080
<v Speaker 1>in a really really like full way, like I want

0:51:01.160 --> 0:51:04.799
<v Speaker 1>vengeance so badly, and yet there's no elegant way to

0:51:04.840 --> 0:51:08.399
<v Speaker 1>get vengeance in this in this situation, but to see

0:51:08.400 --> 0:51:12.640
<v Speaker 1>it to actually be less interested in what happened and

0:51:12.680 --> 0:51:15.479
<v Speaker 1>more interested in how you can process it to become

0:51:15.520 --> 0:51:17.760
<v Speaker 1>stronger on the other side of it is really really

0:51:17.760 --> 0:51:20.680
<v Speaker 1>good advice because it's it's the Judo move, right, it's

0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:23.359
<v Speaker 1>take the stuff. You take the energy that's thrown at you,

0:51:23.920 --> 0:51:26.759
<v Speaker 1>and you actually use it, and you use it for

0:51:26.800 --> 0:51:30.960
<v Speaker 1>your own good. Yeah, because then nobody remembers even the falls.

0:51:31.040 --> 0:51:34.640
<v Speaker 1>They just remember you getting back up like thor and

0:51:34.680 --> 0:51:37.160
<v Speaker 1>you're like, m I don't think so, buddy, that's not

0:51:37.280 --> 0:51:40.960
<v Speaker 1>my story. Yep. Yeah. And I mean my mother would

0:51:41.000 --> 0:51:45.040
<v Speaker 1>say that them swilling around and their own revolting behavior

0:51:45.200 --> 0:51:47.880
<v Speaker 1>is really payment enough. Yeah. You can't spend time on

0:51:47.960 --> 0:51:50.400
<v Speaker 1>thinking what you want to happen to other people. That's

0:51:50.400 --> 0:51:52.600
<v Speaker 1>that's that's a bad use of your time. And then

0:51:52.600 --> 0:51:54.880
<v Speaker 1>you're sending out bad vibes, bad vibes. I know it's on.

0:51:55.040 --> 0:51:56.719
<v Speaker 1>It's like you know, listen, we all do it. We

0:51:56.800 --> 0:51:59.279
<v Speaker 1>have to because it's part of our psychology. But I

0:51:59.320 --> 0:52:01.200
<v Speaker 1>think you give your off and afternoon to do it,

0:52:01.239 --> 0:52:03.239
<v Speaker 1>and then you go that's it. You can you can

0:52:03.280 --> 0:52:05.279
<v Speaker 1>sit around thinking about them slipping on the ice, and

0:52:05.360 --> 0:52:08.719
<v Speaker 1>then that's it. Yeah, exactly, and then eventually you know

0:52:09.040 --> 0:52:12.600
<v Speaker 1>you don't care about those people or what happens to them. Exactly.

0:52:13.400 --> 0:52:17.120
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. I feel better. Well, that's what this is for.

0:52:17.320 --> 0:52:19.319
<v Speaker 1>That's what we're all about here, Minnie. So I'm so

0:52:19.360 --> 0:52:21.640
<v Speaker 1>glad you were able to join us today. I really

0:52:21.680 --> 0:52:23.560
<v Speaker 1>am very glad. It's why I came on so you'd

0:52:23.600 --> 0:52:26.080
<v Speaker 1>answer my I could get my question in before all

0:52:26.120 --> 0:52:28.040
<v Speaker 1>the other people. You could have just called in like

0:52:28.040 --> 0:52:33.200
<v Speaker 1>a regular caller. I could have just text you. Thank you, Minnie.

0:52:33.200 --> 0:52:35.160
<v Speaker 1>I love you so much. I love you so much.

0:52:35.239 --> 0:52:38.040
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much. Such a great show. I can't

0:52:38.080 --> 0:52:39.960
<v Speaker 1>wait to see you again. And I love doing your

0:52:40.000 --> 0:52:43.160
<v Speaker 1>podcast too. By the way, you guys many questions with

0:52:43.280 --> 0:52:46.080
<v Speaker 1>Mini Driver. I did an episode which I enjoyed thoroughly,

0:52:46.080 --> 0:52:48.759
<v Speaker 1>and it's a great podcast. She asked everybody the same

0:52:48.800 --> 0:52:52.960
<v Speaker 1>seven questions I do. Thanks Charles, You're welcome, honey. I

0:52:53.000 --> 0:52:59.640
<v Speaker 1>will speak to you soon. Loads of love. See oh

0:52:59.800 --> 0:53:02.719
<v Speaker 1>h see, let's not forget show dates. Okay, Yes, I

0:53:02.760 --> 0:53:05.359
<v Speaker 1>have some stand up dates coming up. I am going

0:53:05.400 --> 0:53:07.719
<v Speaker 1>to be in Seattle February second and third. I'm gonna

0:53:07.719 --> 0:53:11.400
<v Speaker 1>be in Portland, Oregon, February four, two shows. There are

0:53:11.400 --> 0:53:14.600
<v Speaker 1>tickets available for the second show. Then I'll be in Eugene,

0:53:14.640 --> 0:53:19.240
<v Speaker 1>Oregon on February five. We added second shows to Kansas City,

0:53:19.280 --> 0:53:24.840
<v Speaker 1>to Winnipeg, to Toronto, to Huntington, New York, to port Chester,

0:53:25.000 --> 0:53:28.959
<v Speaker 1>New York, to Montclair, New Jersey. And I'm also coming

0:53:28.960 --> 0:53:32.120
<v Speaker 1>to Louisville, Kentucky, so please mark that down. Oh, and

0:53:32.120 --> 0:53:34.640
<v Speaker 1>we added a second show in Los Angeles and a

0:53:34.680 --> 0:53:38.319
<v Speaker 1>second show in Santa Rosa Louisville, Kentucky. If you want

0:53:38.360 --> 0:53:40.920
<v Speaker 1>me to come back, then we need to sell out tickets,

0:53:41.080 --> 0:53:44.040
<v Speaker 1>so buy them. I think that's all I have to

0:53:44.040 --> 0:53:46.880
<v Speaker 1>say for today. Oh I'm kind of Hawaii July one

0:53:47.080 --> 0:53:53.239
<v Speaker 1>and third, Honolulu, and then I'm coming to Mauizing. Do

0:53:53.440 --> 0:53:56.360
<v Speaker 1>you have a question you want to ask Chelsea to

0:53:56.480 --> 0:54:00.759
<v Speaker 1>get some advice right into Dear Chelsea, Project act at

0:54:00.840 --> 0:54:03.480
<v Speaker 1>gmail dot com.