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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: Today, routine and structure looks like being committed to my

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Speaker 2: non negotiables. There are a couple of things every single

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Speaker 2: week and every day that I really want to do.

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Speaker 2: And when I do those things, I feel like I'm

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Speaker 2: thriving and I feel really good.

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Speaker 3: Hey, lady, have you ever felt like the world just

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Speaker 3: doesn't get you? Well?

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Speaker 4: We do.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 2: and empowering women like you.

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Speaker 3: We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard, and educator and psychologists.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.

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Speaker 3: Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from

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Speaker 3: fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black

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Speaker 3: women to just be.

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Speaker 2: Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow

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Speaker 2: button and leave us a quick five star review. Lady,

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Speaker 2: we are black and black owned, and your support will

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Speaker 2: help us reach even more women like you.

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Speaker 3: Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 1: If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps,

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Speaker 1: this is for you. Hey, lady, is tea here and

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Speaker 1: I just want to invite you to my free goal

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Speaker 1: map like a pro coaching workshop, where I'll share the

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Speaker 1: five proven steps to get unstuck and achieve your goals.

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Speaker 1: Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all your ideas, juggling scattered ideas,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you just need confidence to start, this workshop

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Speaker 1: will give you the clarity, tools and the motivation to

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Speaker 1: take back control. Reserve your spot for free by visiting

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Speaker 1: her spacepodcast dot com and clicking on the goal map

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Speaker 1: like a pro webinar link. Lady, don't miss this chance

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Speaker 1: to build a roadmap that fits your life and set

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Speaker 1: you up for success.

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Speaker 4: I hope to see you there, all right.

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Speaker 3: Our quote of the day, when you can, and as

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Speaker 3: you can, in ways that feel loving, make time and

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Speaker 3: space for yourself. Lady, I'm gonna say that again for

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Speaker 3: the folks in the back. When you can and as

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Speaker 3: you can, in ways that feel loving, make time and

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Speaker 3: space for yourself. So that quote comes to us from

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Speaker 3: our homegirl in our Heads, Tracy Ellis Ross. All right,

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Speaker 3: it's folkstigue. You know the question. When you hear that quoting,

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Speaker 3: you think about our episode for today. What comes to mind?

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Speaker 4: Okay, so much comes to mind?

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Speaker 2: Tom When I hear this quote, it makes me think

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Speaker 2: about how one when it comes to any routines that

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Speaker 2: we're building, everything should start with self, right, so understanding.

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Speaker 4: Like where are you, what you have the capacity to

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Speaker 4: do right now?

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Speaker 2: And literally don what came to mind for me. I

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Speaker 2: know you're going to dive deeper into the quote, but

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Speaker 2: I thought about after I had my daughter four years ago,

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Speaker 2: and I remember taking a bath was such a luxury.

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Speaker 2: Like I used to take baths before she was born.

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Speaker 2: I would be in the bath like up to an

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Speaker 2: hour and I'd just be having the ball. But it

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Speaker 2: you know, that changed because I was breastfeeding. I remember

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Speaker 2: a time where I was taking a bath and she

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Speaker 2: was hungry, so they brought her in and I either

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Speaker 2: Doulah or her husband at the time, brought her in

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Speaker 2: and I was nursing from the tub, and I was like, Okay, well,

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Speaker 2: this is what time for myself. This is what my

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Speaker 2: routine looks like in this season because I'm nursing. I

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Speaker 2: still want to take a bath and have my time

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Speaker 2: to myself, but it just looks a little different in

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Speaker 2: this season. So that's what it makes me think about

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Speaker 2: tweaking what we do for ourselves and our routine based

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Speaker 2: on what season we're in. So that's the example what

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Speaker 2: comes to mind for you when you hear this quote.

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Speaker 3: Well, one, I love that example of like being thinking

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Speaker 3: about ways to honor your routine in the moment that,

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Speaker 3: like the moment that you're in, right, that just because

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Speaker 3: we may have had like a life shift, doesn't mean

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Speaker 3: that we completely abandon the things that feel good for us,

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Speaker 3: that are nurturing for us. We adapt yeah, And so

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Speaker 3: to me, that's essentially what comes to mind, right that

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Speaker 3: the when you can as you can, because I think

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Speaker 3: for me, when I think about that piece of the quote,

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Speaker 3: it's an honoring of okay, literally when you're.

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Speaker 4: Able to.

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Speaker 3: As you're able to, And in the piece of like

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Speaker 3: in ways that feel loving, yes, because in the ways

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Speaker 3: that feel loving in one season might not feel so

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Speaker 3: loving in another season. And so I think the word

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Speaker 3: that keeps coming up for me is adaptability, yes, and

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Speaker 3: then flexibility that we have to move based on the

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Speaker 3: things that we're dealing within the moment. Right. I feel

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Speaker 3: like there's a quote out there and I can't remember

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Speaker 3: exactly who said it. It's a proverb. It's a philosophy

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Speaker 3: of like the tree that the tree that unyields or

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Speaker 3: unbends is easily broken. So to me, what that means

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Speaker 3: is the tree the person. When you are inflexible, you

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Speaker 3: are more likely to experience despair because you aren't in

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Speaker 3: a space that's allowing you to move with how life

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Speaker 3: is shifting.

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Speaker 4: That is so good. I love that so much. You

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Speaker 4: have me. I'm having a visual.

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking of the tree and like a windy there's

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Speaker 2: like a storm going on right. The storm happening in

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Speaker 2: the tree is just so richid that it, like you said,

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Speaker 2: and it breaks. But the ones that are flexible and

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Speaker 2: that are kind of flowing with the wind, they're able

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Speaker 2: to weather the storm because they're able to flow with

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Speaker 2: it right instead of like going against the grain.

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Speaker 4: Oh okay, I'm so excited for this conversation.

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Speaker 2: Okay, lady, today's episode is for the woman who's juggling

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Speaker 2: it all. It might be work, school, creativity, healing, relationships, singlehood, motherhood,

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Speaker 2: whatever it looks like for you in your life right now.

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Speaker 2: If you've been trying to find some kind of rhythm

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Speaker 2: without losing yourself in the process, this conversation is for you.

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Speaker 2: We are talking about soft structure. I know people are

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Speaker 2: talking about the soft life today. We're talking about soft

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Speaker 2: structure routines that support the version of you that exists

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Speaker 2: right now. Not who you want to be in the

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Speaker 2: future or who you were last year, but the you

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Speaker 2: that's navigating a very real, very human season right If

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Speaker 2: your routine has fell off or forced or it just

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Speaker 2: doesn't fit anymore, this episode will give you a breath

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Speaker 2: of fresh air. Now before we jump in, lady, get

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Speaker 2: your notebook out or your journal or you know, your

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Speaker 2: no taking device if you're using your phone, and just

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Speaker 2: reflect on this journaling prompt that we want to share

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Speaker 2: with you. We're going to share one journaling prompt now,

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Speaker 2: and then at the end we'll share with you how

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Speaker 2: you can get access to about six other prompts that

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Speaker 2: can really help you to reflect and build the ideal

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Speaker 2: routine for you in this stage in your life. So

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Speaker 2: the question is, what does your ideal life look like

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Speaker 2: from the moment you wake up to when your head

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Speaker 2: hits the pillow at night. So think about that, and

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Speaker 2: you can pause the episode if you want to sit

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Speaker 2: and reflect on that, and also think about how does

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Speaker 2: that ideal life compare to your current day and if

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Speaker 2: you want to go a step further, you can also

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Speaker 2: ask yourself what's one small shift you can make toward alignment.

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Speaker 2: So sit with that as we have this conversation, and

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Speaker 2: let's see what comes up for you.

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Speaker 3: All right, So, now that you have resumed this episode

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Speaker 3: after causing to do your journaling speak an highlist, let's

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Speaker 3: us talk about what this really looks like for us, right,

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Speaker 3: So see what what does your current routine look like?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I would say that my routine today is a

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Speaker 2: lot more flexible than it used to be in the past.

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Speaker 4: I was.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe we're taught this or we hear

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Speaker 2: this often, but I used to be under the impression

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Speaker 2: that because I wasn't waking up every single day without

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Speaker 2: any days off at five am and meditating and working

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Speaker 2: out and doing this and doing that, and things were

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Speaker 2: just not perfect air quotes, I felt like I was failing.

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Speaker 2: And I realized that I don't have to do I

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Speaker 2: don't have to live my life in that rigid way

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Speaker 2: in order to be successful. So to me, today, routine

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Speaker 2: and structure looks like being committed to my non negotiables.

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Speaker 2: There are a couple of things every single week and

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Speaker 2: every day that I really want to do, and when

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Speaker 2: I do those things, I feel like I'm thriving and

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Speaker 2: I feel really good. And what I've done lately is

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Speaker 2: I let everything else in my day pretty much flow.

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Speaker 2: Like I'll set goals, but I find myself having a

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Speaker 2: notebook and each day I'll write the date, and then

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Speaker 2: I kind of script out or write out, Okay, what

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Speaker 2: do I want to achieve in the next two hours, And

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Speaker 2: so I put the time and I'll just focus on

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Speaker 2: those specific things so that I'm not.

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Speaker 4: All over the place.

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Speaker 2: So that's kind of what routine and structure looks like

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Speaker 2: to me today. It's very flexible, it flows, but there

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Speaker 2: are some aspects of my day that I really prioritize

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Speaker 2: because they make me.

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Speaker 4: Feel like whole and grounded.

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Speaker 3: I love that. I love that, and I think for me,

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Speaker 3: it's really being in tune with the season. Right. So

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Speaker 3: at the time that we're recording this episode, it's the summertime. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And so for me typically what that means is that

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Speaker 3: my work schedule has more flexibility. It also means that

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Speaker 3: I'm doing more traveling, and so when I travel, my

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Speaker 3: work like my day to day looks different, right, So

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Speaker 3: I might not be waking up at exactly the same

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Speaker 3: time that I normally would during when my season tends

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Speaker 3: to be more I have more priority and I have

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Speaker 3: more non negotiables in my day right, And so it's

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Speaker 3: really for me getting in tune with the season that

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Speaker 3: I'm in and how do I adjust my schedule to

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Speaker 3: match the season that I'm in. In this current season,

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Speaker 3: my schedule is pretty flexible, like truly going in with

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Speaker 3: the flow. Yeah, no day like looks the same, Like

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Speaker 3: Monday of this week look different than Monday of last week.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna look different than the Monday of the coming week.

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Speaker 3: And so for me, it's really about giving myself that

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Speaker 3: permission to move and flow with this current season.

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Speaker 2: I love that, and I think it speaks to like

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Speaker 2: you shared earlier, adaptability and flexibility, which I think that

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Speaker 2: is the name of the game. Because I don't know

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Speaker 2: if you've ever been sold this sort of rigid schedule

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Speaker 2: idea down, but I think many of us have been,

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Speaker 2: and I want to know before we jump into our

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Speaker 2: eight gentle reminders about routines. Can you share a moment

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Speaker 2: or do you remember a time when you had a

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Speaker 2: rigid schedule that started to feel like a burden because

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Speaker 2: I can think of one for myself, but I want

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Speaker 2: to hear I want to hear yours too.

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Speaker 3: So there's a couple of couple of times in my

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Speaker 3: life where I can that easily comes to mind. So

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Speaker 3: one I think about when I was on internship working

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Speaker 3: on my dissertation, and I remember my schedule having to

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Speaker 3: be super rigid because I had multiple goals with tim

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Speaker 3: limited that deadline that I needed to accomplish, and so

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Speaker 3: for me, in order to meet those deadlines, I needed

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Speaker 3: to have a very rigid schedule. I was also in

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Speaker 3: a place in life where I could make that happen, right,

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Speaker 3: So I knew, like I got up at the same

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Speaker 3: time every morning, was out the house by a particular time,

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Speaker 3: like had a set morning routine, like the things that

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Speaker 3: I was doing Monday through Friday, because I had to

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Speaker 3: be at work at a certain time. I would get

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Speaker 3: off at a certain time and come home and had

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Speaker 3: a set routine because I was also I would come home,

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Speaker 3: I would have dinner, I watch a TV show, and

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Speaker 3: then I would get to writing for the rest of

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Speaker 3: the evening rents repeat and then on the weekend and

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Speaker 3: so like, and then on the weekends, like had that

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Speaker 3: a similar structure minus the going to work. Yeah, Sunday

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Speaker 3: was like mail prep day, and so like literally I

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Speaker 3: was getting up and cooking and prepping meals for the

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Speaker 3: entire week, rense, repeat through that entire season because I

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Speaker 3: had time limited deadline that I needed to accomplish.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Now, was my body probably adolphin, sure, but also not

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Speaker 3: to the same extent that it would be if I

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Speaker 3: cried that today because I was in my twenties. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: the level of energy that I had in my twenties

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Speaker 3: is different than the level of energy I have in

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Speaker 3: my forties. And so I also know that I can

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Speaker 3: look on the path and say, yeah, I did that.

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Speaker 3: I accomplished that. So I know, based on past behavior,

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Speaker 3: I have the capacity to do it. But in this

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Speaker 3: current season in stage in life, they don't necessarily filed

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Speaker 3: that same level of debt that in time sensitive things

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Speaker 3: that need to be accomplished. So I don't have to

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Speaker 3: be as rigid where I am in this current faith

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Speaker 3: in life. And I know that if I did that

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Speaker 3: to myself because I don't have those obligations, that's when

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Speaker 3: I would feel burnout and feel resemful.

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Speaker 4: Oh girl, that is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so interesting because what you have done in

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Speaker 2: one season won't always serve you in the season that

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Speaker 2: you're in. I think that's a really important highlight. And

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Speaker 2: what you shared and it talk about mel prepping, it

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Speaker 2: makes me think about a time.

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Speaker 4: Girl.

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Speaker 2: Thinking about this just makes me stressed out. So there

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Speaker 2: was a time when I was this is before I

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Speaker 2: had my daughter, where I was really trying to gain weight.

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Speaker 2: I feel like that has been a thing like as

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Speaker 2: a slim you know, where as a slim someone who's

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Speaker 2: always been slim.

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Speaker 4: It's like I was always trying to gain weight.

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Speaker 2: And so I joined this program and they promoted meal prepping, right.

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Speaker 2: But when I tell you I will mil prep and

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Speaker 2: this process for me starting to feel like a burden

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Speaker 2: because what I would do is I wur mil prep

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Speaker 2: every meal. It was three core meals a day and

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Speaker 2: then I eat snacks in between, and the core meals

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Speaker 2: they would be in these little meal prep containers.

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Speaker 4: My fridge was filled.

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Speaker 2: I mean I barely had spaces for groceries in the

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Speaker 2: fridge because everything was stacked up. And then I found

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Speaker 2: myself taking the meals to work and commuting back and

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Speaker 2: it just felt so daunting.

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Speaker 4: I didn't even gain away.

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Speaker 2: All was trying to gain and I did all that

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Speaker 2: and it just it was tiring. It was like overwhelming.

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Speaker 2: It was stressing me out because then I wasn't finishing

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Speaker 2: all the meals because I didn't have any appetite sometimes.

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Speaker 2: And so what I do today for my mel prep

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Speaker 2: is so much more. It's like fits into that soft,

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Speaker 2: structured idea versus what I was doing before when it

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Speaker 2: was like very rigid, like I gotta do this and

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Speaker 2: gotta do that, and then I'm wasting food because it just, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was not working for me.

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Speaker 4: So happy that we're not in that season anymore.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And so let's before we dive into the pips

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Speaker 3: on how to set this routine, let's cover some gentle

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Speaker 3: reminder as you think about as you begin to plan

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Speaker 3: out what your routine will look like.

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Speaker 4: So the first.

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Speaker 3: One, routine should support you, not control you. I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: say that again. Your routine should support you, not control you.

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Speaker 3: And so you know, the thing to think about is

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Speaker 3: back to what we were saying right that, like, if

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Speaker 3: your routine feels restrictive, or you find yourself feeling guilty

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Speaker 3: or reventful or burned out, it's time to step back

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Speaker 3: and revise that. That routine, your structure, your schedule, Your

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Speaker 3: routine should not make you feel like your cage.

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Speaker 4: Do you need it? Ment to that.

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Speaker 2: And number two is your routine can change with your

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Speaker 2: season and it should just like we stated, right when

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Speaker 2: you were in grind mode might not work when you're

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Speaker 2: in your healing era. Right, So honor yourself and where

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Speaker 2: you are right now in this particular season that is

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Speaker 2: so important.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And this third one reminds yourself of this one

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Speaker 3: regularly because oftentimes this third step is one that keeps

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Speaker 3: people from making the progress that they need to. Small

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Speaker 3: steps or baby steps if I like to call them,

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Speaker 3: are still sacred and important. I know that you may

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Speaker 3: have seen on social media how to have the ideal

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Speaker 3: morning routine follow these twelve steps. Well, depending on where

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Speaker 3: you are in life, those twelve steps might actually work

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Speaker 3: for you. But also depending on where you are in life,

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Speaker 3: if having that glass of water and notice I wasn't

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Speaker 3: specific on how much water, right, If having that glass

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Speaker 3: of water and breathing deeply for a few minutes is

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Speaker 3: all you have in this season, that counts small steps

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Speaker 3: lead to bigger progress.

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Speaker 2: Yes they do, and piggybacking off of what Dom'm just shared.

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Speaker 2: Number four is there is no perfect routine, right. I

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Speaker 2: feel like a lot of times we see people online

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Speaker 2: trying to tell every sort of generalizing telling everyone this

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Speaker 2: is what you got to do, this is what you

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Speaker 2: should do. And sometimes there's value in listening to what

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Speaker 2: other people have done to see where it fits into

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Speaker 2: your life. But I think it's really about figuring out

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Speaker 2: what works for me, right, So pinterest and productivity culture

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Speaker 2: sometimes they be lying, Okay, you don't need a certain

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Speaker 2: aesthetic to be aligned. It's really about what works for

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Speaker 2: you in this season of life, and what works for

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Speaker 2: you may not work for someone else, and what works

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Speaker 2: for you in the season, like we said before, it may.

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Speaker 4: Not serve you in the next season.

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Speaker 2: Right, So just understanding that there's no perfect routine and

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Speaker 2: it's to be flexible.

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Speaker 3: Yes, oh yes, flexibility.

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 3: Number five, rest is productive too. We have said this

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Speaker 3: multiple times. We have encouraged you all to check out

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Speaker 3: the NAP ministry. Let this serve of another reminder that

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Speaker 3: you are allowed to schedule rest. I've talked about having

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Speaker 3: do nothing dates at least once for one but the

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Speaker 3: thing that I also want to emphasize is you don't

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Speaker 3: need to earn rest. Rest is your birthright. You deserve

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Speaker 3: rest full.

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Speaker 2: Five and speaking of rest, because I think this one

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Speaker 2: goes hand in hand. Number six is let your body lead.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, yes, it is so important for us

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Speaker 2: to listen to our bodies. Instead of asking what should

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Speaker 2: I do right now? Try what do I need right now?

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Speaker 2: Let's say that one for time the back. Okay, instead

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Speaker 2: of asking what should I do right now?

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Speaker 4: This is for me. This is why I'm saying it again, y'all,

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Speaker 4: I need for you. It's for me.

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Speaker 2: Try what do I need right now? Let your body

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Speaker 2: speak before your planner does. There are so many times.

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Speaker 2: It was a time recently I was gonna work out.

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Speaker 2: I have my workout stuff on, and my day got

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Speaker 2: so busy and by the end of the day I

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Speaker 2: was like, Okay, I didn't work out. I feel like

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Speaker 2: I want to stretch, Just stretch and do some breath work.

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Speaker 2: That's just what I felt like my body needed, versus

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Speaker 2: trying to go head to the gym.

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Speaker 4: After a long day. It was like, you know what,

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Speaker 4: this is going to be my workout.

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Speaker 2: It's going to be stretching my body out and doing

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Speaker 2: this breath work, so let your body need.

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Speaker 4: Oh I love that.

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Speaker 3: I love that this next one. Consistency does not equal rigidity.

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Speaker 4: Say that again.

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Speaker 3: Consistency does not equal rigidity. They are not the same thing.

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Speaker 3: You can show up consistently without doing the exact same

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Speaker 3: thing every day. So you can say I'm going to

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Speaker 3: work out. That's consistency. Working out. However, many days a

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Speaker 3: week you've set up and following through on that is consistency.

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Speaker 3: Rigidity is on Monday, I do ten reps of twenty

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Speaker 3: five push up in rep of in pull up, and

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Speaker 3: I rinse, repeat every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. That's rigidity. Consistency

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Speaker 3: is I work out every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Maybe this

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Speaker 3: Monday I felt like doing stretching and breath work. Wednesday

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Speaker 3: I felt more energized. So I'm gonna do cardio and

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Speaker 3: strength Friday, I'm doing yoga. Consistency does not equal rigidity.

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Speaker 2: I just want to say down, I really appreciate this reminder.

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Speaker 2: And I reposted something that Gary v posted, so just

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Speaker 2: kind of visualize this. He had a picture of about

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Speaker 2: five glasses and like drinking glasses and at the top,

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Speaker 2: it said, this is what people think consistency looks like.

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Speaker 2: And the five glasses at the top they were all

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Speaker 2: filled at the exact same level. But then at the

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Speaker 2: bottom he said, this is what consistency really looks like.

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Speaker 2: And it was like the first class was full, the

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Speaker 2: second one was half full, the second one like barely

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Speaker 2: had me in it. And what it depicted was that

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Speaker 2: it's so like you said, show up and do something.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be perfect every single time. It's

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Speaker 2: about just showing up a lot of times and doing

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Speaker 2: something right.

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Speaker 4: So that's so important.

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Speaker 2: Like to also just be gentle with ourselves when it

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Speaker 2: comes to that, because sometimes we think we got to

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Speaker 2: be rigid and do everything a certain way. And that

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Speaker 2: takes us to number eight. This is something we've talked

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Speaker 2: about on the podcast a lot. Number eight is joy

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Speaker 2: belongs in your schedule too. I think we all all

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Speaker 2: need evermind you okay, joy and rest because a lot

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Speaker 2: of us don't prioritize that.

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Speaker 4: I'm speaking to myself too. Joy belongs to your schedule too.

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Speaker 2: So make space for what lights you up, not just

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Speaker 2: what checks a box right, play Connect dance in your kitchen,

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Speaker 2: to work around the house, like all that stuff counts,

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Speaker 2: so make sure we're adding time for joy as well. So, lady,

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Speaker 2: we're going to put these eight gentle reminders in the

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Speaker 2: show notes, but what we want to do right now

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Speaker 2: is we want to dive into these seven tips for

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Speaker 2: building a gentle aligned routine, and don't forget at the

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Speaker 2: end of this conversation, we're going to share how you

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Speaker 2: can get access to more of those journal prompts so

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Speaker 2: that you can really reflect and be intentional about this

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Speaker 2: next stage in your journey. So number one is start

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Speaker 2: with your non negotiables. So ask yourself what three to

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Speaker 2: five things really ground me, no matter what, So it

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Speaker 2: could be journaling, moving your body, a spiritual practice, or

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Speaker 2: a family dinner. And then get clear on what are

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Speaker 2: those things that you absolutely need to have right that's

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Speaker 2: the second question, to ask yourself, what do I absolutely

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Speaker 2: have to do? What I non negotiables for the day

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Speaker 2: and build around those, not on top of everything else.

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Speaker 2: So I know, for me, when you asked me earlier

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Speaker 2: down about what does I think it was structure or

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Speaker 2: my schedule, look like I have some non negotiables throughout

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Speaker 2: my week and for me that's meal prepping, picking out

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Speaker 2: me and my daughter's clothes for the whole week, and

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Speaker 2: putting my workout routine and my personal me time on

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Speaker 2: the calendar. Putting it on the calendar ahead of the week,

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Speaker 2: usually on Sunday nights, is when I do it, so

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Speaker 2: that it's already baked into the schedule. So if I

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Speaker 2: don't do anything else, as long as I get those

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Speaker 2: non negotiables done, I feel like, Okay, I'm grounded, I'm centered.

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Speaker 2: These are the things I've done and I'm proud of that.

439
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 2: Would you add anything to this one?

440
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 3: Also taken to consideration in terms of the things that

441
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 3: you have to do well, I'd say that you have kids,

442
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 3: and your kids have a set drop off, prime and

443
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 3: pick up, and if you are the person who's doing

444
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 3: drop off and or pick up, those times are your

445
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 3: non negotiables. Those are the times that you absolutely have

446
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 3: to show up. Let's say that you work a job

447
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 3: where you have to punch a time clock. So if

448
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 3: you have to punch a time clock, those times are

449
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 3: your non negotiables. And so you want to make sure

450
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 3: that as you're setting up your routine, you mark those

451
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:35,479
Speaker 3: in there first so that you build your schedule the

452
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 3: rest of your schedule around those things that, So what

453
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 3: that can actually look like. Let's say that your non

454
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 3: negotiables are you need to pray and meditate every morning.

455
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 3: You have drop off at seven point thirty. You have

456
00:25:55,480 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 3: to clock into your job by nine am. So let's

457
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 3: look at if you have to do drop off by

458
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 3: seven thirty, how long does it take you to commute?

459
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 3: So then how long does it take do you want

460
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 3: to spend meditating and praying? So then your wake up

461
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 3: time is based on those things, right, and how do

462
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 3: you make faith for everything else around those? But those

463
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 3: are the things that you like are saying you absolutely

464
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:36,360
Speaker 3: have to do in your day, So then that actually.

465
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 4: Takes us to the second one.

466
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 3: Right, build rhythm, not rigid timeline. Now, want to be

467
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 3: clear that that can sound confusing based on what I

468
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 3: just said right about your not negotiables, but hear me out.

469
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 3: So instead of saying I have to meditate at six thirty,

470
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 3: fry saying I have to meditate when I wake up,

471
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 3: so before I do anything else or before I leave

472
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 3: the house. So let's say because you have that non

473
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 3: negotiable of dropping off your kids by that and thirty,

474
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 3: and it takes you thirty minutes to get there. If

475
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 3: you set your alarm for six am, and you know

476
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 3: that it typically because again when I say as I say,

477
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 3: typically that's about moving in rhythm. It typically takes you

478
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,439
Speaker 3: forty five minutes to get you and the kids together

479
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 3: in the morning. Then that means that and you said

480
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 3: you want to thin, let's say around five minutes meditating

481
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 3: or praying. Don't where within that forty five minutes you

482
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 3: pause for your meditation that prayer. And it's not at

483
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 3: six fifteen every morning I have to pause and meditate.

484
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 3: It's before I leave the house. So within that forty

485
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 3: five minute time period of getting ready, I'm going to

486
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 3: make some space to meditate. And maybe your schedule, maybe

487
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 3: you have your having a morning where the kids are

488
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 3: at your door before their normal wake up time and

489
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: one of them is sick, and so you're having to

490
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 3: pause and deal with that. So you didn't get to

491
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 3: meditate when you first opened your eyes because baby girl

492
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 3: is at the door saying, Mommy, I'm sick. Maybe it's

493
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 3: you have to get up, clean up baby girl. And

494
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 3: now as you're in the bathroom getting ready to hop

495
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 3: in the shower, your meditation is happening while you're in

496
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 3: the shower.

497
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 2: Listen, you must have been peeking through my window. Don

498
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 2: One thing I want to add to this one about

499
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 2: building rhythms not just rigid timelines. Is it kind of

500
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 2: leads into number three, But it does depend on the season, right,

501
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 2: because you were talking earlier down about you were in

502
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 2: a season of life where the rigidity, because sometimes that

503
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 2: does serve you, right, And so when you think about

504
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 2: the language you use, I think that's also really powerful.

505
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 2: So is it I must or I have to, or

506
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 2: is it I aim to or I'm planning.

507
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 4: To do this? I think that also matters.

508
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 2: So be mindful, lady of again you knowing what season

509
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 2: you're in and understanding what language is going to serve

510
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 2: you best, because I think that can also just give

511
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 2: us the energy that we might need based on what

512
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 2: season we're in. And number three is honor the season

513
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: you're in, right, so kind of you know, leading or

514
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 2: taking us to this next phase of the tips here

515
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 2: my mind. So when it comes to honoring the season

516
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 2: your end, are you in the season of survival? Because baby,

517
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 2: let me tell you, when you're in the season of survival,

518
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: a lot of shit is going out the window.

519
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 4: You're like I am here.

520
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,479
Speaker 2: I am just here, Like that's it, the routine, all

521
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 2: that's all I got, Okay, what I got here is

522
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 2: presence and that's it, and that's okay, right, Like being

523
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 2: gentle with ourselves are using a season of expansion, transition,

524
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: or healing. I mean, the past couple of years of

525
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 2: my life have been a combination of all of them.

526
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 2: And the way that I've shown up in each season,

527
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm a totally different person, Like, oh

528
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 2: my goodness, I don't recognize who I was two years ago,

529
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 2: right because of the season I'm in now. So being

530
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 2: gentle with yourself and honoring it and realizing that who

531
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 2: you are today is not it doesn't define who you are.

532
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 2: Where you are in your journey does not define who

533
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 2: you are. It is literally just a little point and

534
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 2: the story of your life. It's like a little page

535
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 2: in the book of your life.

536
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 4: That's it. Right.

537
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 2: Your routine should ideally reflect your capacity and not necessarily

538
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 2: your wish list.

539
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 4: Right.

540
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 2: Just knowing that, I think can be so comforting. Knowing

541
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: that where you are today does not determine where you're

542
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 2: going to end up. And then you're just in this

543
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 2: particular space and season of life. I think that is

544
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,479
Speaker 2: so grounding sometimes.

545
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 3: Yes, I love we'd grounding right of being cleaner with

546
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 3: yourself that you are showing up as best you can

547
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 3: in this season and grounding yourself in that, so that

548
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 3: then you start to move with that. So that if

549
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 3: you are in a season of expansion and you're grounded

550
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 3: and I am showing up as best I can, then

551
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 3: that allows you to call them reflect like if I'm

552
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 3: in this season of expansion, am I doing all the

553
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 3: things that I know I am capable and have the

554
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 3: havity to do to be in this season of expansion?

555
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 3: So thinking of being in a season of expansion number

556
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 3: four can really be helpful in this in when you're

557
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 3: in a season of expansion, using visual tools that actually

558
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 3: inspire you. Now that's not to say that if you're

559
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 3: in a season of healing or you're in a season

560
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 3: of stillness, that these tools won't be helpful. But I'm

561
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 3: also aware that this is most beneficial, most useful. You're

562
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 3: more likely to utilize this when you're in a season

563
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 3: of expansion. So whether it's having a whiteboard or sticky notes,

564
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 3: or a handheld paper and pin planner, whatever, that visual

565
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 3: tool is.

566
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 4: That help you.

567
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 3: It's something that is going to allow you to feel

568
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 3: in control of the schedule that you're trying to schedule,

569
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 3: the routine that you're trying to create. So, do you

570
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 3: feel like it's more beneficial to have a huge whiteboard

571
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 3: where you map out all the things, or if you

572
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 3: have a large family, maybe that whiteboard has daily meals

573
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,239
Speaker 3: ever one social skypchal because I know when you have

574
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 3: kids and their social calendar becomes yours, it can be

575
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 3: intense to kind of keep track of all the things

576
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 3: right and so, and then maybe having a chore chart,

577
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 3: whatever it is, having it visually available to you oftentimes

578
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 3: allows you to really step back and see all of

579
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 3: what you have going on and allows you to move

580
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 3: in a way that you can determine whether or not

581
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 3: you need to get these things done, you want to

582
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 3: get these things done, or how best to get these

583
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 3: things done. The key here, though, is as long as

584
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:11,879
Speaker 3: that tool doesn't make you feel like you're constrained that

585
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 3: you have to stick to exactly what's on that board.

586
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 3: What I appreciate about having a dry rape board is

587
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 3: that will have part of that word he raped it

588
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 3: right that it allows me to say Okay, wait, I

589
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 3: initially have this that, but let me either erase it

590
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 3: or cross it out because I need to make some adjustice.

591
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:41,760
Speaker 3: It's not written in prominent markers, so there's room for adaptability.

592
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 2: I love this one so much as a visual person,

593
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 2: it just it helps so much. I actually have a

594
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 2: white board, and do remember when you came to visit

595
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 2: we did our strategic planning and we had the sticky notes.

596
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 4: Yes, the white board is the big posted.

597
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 2: That was just so helpful one to get that brain

598
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 2: dump and like take all the things that are out

599
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 2: of your mind and get them outside of yourself, like

600
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,359
Speaker 2: go onto a paper into a system, because I can

601
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 2: think that can also help with your routine so you

602
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 2: don't feel overwhelmed. But even when I was telling you

603
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 2: about writing my stuff down on that one piece of

604
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 2: paper throughout the day as I'm kind of going along

605
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: my day and like scripting it as I go, that

606
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 2: has been super helpful as well. And that takes us

607
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 2: to number five, which is batch and buffer where you

608
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 2: can so I love we love to batch in buffer. Okay,

609
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 2: even with the podcast, right, there are some weekends where

610
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 2: we'll I mean there are some weeks well I'll say weekends,

611
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,359
Speaker 2: since we're talking about a specific time, but there are

612
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 2: some weekends where a Saturday we will record three episodes, Okay,

613
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,320
Speaker 2: to make sure that we're showing up for you every single.

614
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 4: Week like we have been doing for the past seven years.

615
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 2: But that's how we do it, right, That's how we

616
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 2: can be so consistent with something like this, this venture

617
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 2: and this labor of love that we have.

618
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 4: Consistency is key.

619
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 2: But consistency doesn't mean we're recording every single week to

620
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 2: publish episodes, right, So we will batch for cored so

621
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 2: that we can also give ourselves time for breaks when

622
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 2: we have stuff going on in our personal lives or

623
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 2: when we just need some rest, right. And so batching

624
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 2: can also look like grouping similar tasks together. So if

625
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 2: you are a content creator, you might have a content

626
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 2: creation day like us like we just shared, or maybe

627
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 2: you're doing social media content where you're recording content for

628
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 2: the day, or maybe you're going over your finances and

629
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,760
Speaker 2: you have a finance Friday. It's really helpful to batch

630
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 2: for cored or to batch similar task together because I

631
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 2: think it also eliminates that context switching that sometimes happens

632
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 2: where you're trying to do everything at one time, So

633
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 2: that's one thing I love to also put it on

634
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 2: the calendar and then also.

635
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 4: Leave space for overflow.

636
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 2: I used to be the person that packed every single hour,

637
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 2: like I'm in Google calendar. I'm like, all right, I'm

638
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 2: gonna do this at this time, then do this at

639
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 2: this time. And that was so overwhelming. It stressed me

640
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 2: out because oftentimes things came up in the day, like

641
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 2: don what you said was so real. My daughter has

642
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 2: been waking up at five am versus her six thirty

643
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 2: time during the week, asking to play, and I'm like, maybe, girl,

644
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 2: this is this is supposed to be mom The's time.

645
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 4: I'm trying to meditate. So what I did recently when

646
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 4: she did that this.

647
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 2: Week, I said, well, baby, this is Mommy's you know,

648
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 2: I'm about to have my time before you woke up

649
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 2: pretty early.

650
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 4: I'm about to meditate.

651
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 2: So I start my meditation right there, and she just

652
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,280
Speaker 2: laid on me in the bed as I did my meditation.

653
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 4: And so I'm kind of.

654
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 2: Incorporating what's happening around me to fit the routine and

655
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,720
Speaker 2: the rhythm that I'm trying to cultivate in my life.

656
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 2: And it's all about flexibility. I am a recovering control freak,

657
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 2: and it in the past was very hard to let

658
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 2: go of control. But now we're flexible over here, so

659
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, cool, that just happened. Now we'll rearrange

660
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 2: the day and instead of working out like you said earlier,

661
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 2: don at like six am. Maybe my workout will be

662
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 2: in the evening. Another thing I want to share is

663
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 2: I know a lot of parents can relate to this.

664
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 2: So my daughter had her summer break and I wanted

665
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 2: to do my workout, but I didn't have a sitter.

666
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 2: We didn't, you know, schedule a sitter or anything. So

667
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: I put on our workout gear. We went to the

668
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 2: gym together and she had her little her little plastic

669
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 2: baby weights and some toys that she brought, and we

670
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 2: I did my workout right there with her, allowing me

671
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 2: to get done the thing I needed to get done.

672
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 2: Although it wasn't the same exact work I do when

673
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,879
Speaker 2: I'm solo, it was me showing up and the way

674
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,399
Speaker 2: that I could at the time that I.

675
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 4: Could with what I had available by way of capacity.

676
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 3: I love that, and I think I work that also

677
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 3: does as models for her how to be adaptable and

678
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 3: flexible and show up for people as it's needed, right,

679
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 3: and set boundaries as it's needed right. So saying to

680
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 3: her like, this is mommy's meditation time, and she's allowed

681
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 3: to still be in that faith, like you let her

682
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 3: in and you still did your meditation right. And so

683
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 3: I think part of that for me when I think

684
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 3: about that batching and buffering is like thinking about those

685
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 3: things that like, you know you all have you have

686
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 3: a morning commute to drop her off at daycare. Well,

687
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 3: we you know, no matter where you live, traffic can

688
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 3: be unpredictable. You know that maybe it normally takes you

689
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes to get today care, but you may have

690
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 3: a morning where you all are running behind, right, or

691
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:19,720
Speaker 3: there's additional traffic, and so building in buffer time into

692
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 3: that so if you know that typically again it takes

693
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes, giving yourself some extra time so that that

694
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 3: also reduces the level of stress that you have, right

695
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,879
Speaker 3: because now you're not like, oh crap, like I gave

696
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 3: you know, I said I need to be there in

697
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:43,800
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes and drop off time of that seven point thirty,

698
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 3: we're not walking out the door till seven fifteen. Because

699
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 3: we're being very rigid. Well, no, if you let go

700
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 3: of the rigidity and building some buffer time, you're ideally

701
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 3: walking out between seven and seven fifteen, so that you

702
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 3: have that time to get there without feeling stressed. Yes,

703
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 3: so then that takes us to number six. We mentioned

704
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,879
Speaker 3: it before and as part of the reminders, but let's

705
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 3: get more into the details of how to do this.

706
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 3: Letting rest be a part of your routine. So, I

707
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 3: know a lot of people that say I'll rest when

708
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: the work is done. Oh you sure about that. I

709
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 3: that's not how that usually works. When usually happens. If

710
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 3: you say that, then something comes up and next thing

711
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 3: you know, you're not you that time that you thought

712
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 3: you were gonna have the rest. Nope, it's time to

713
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,880
Speaker 3: actually go to bay. And resting and sleeping are two

714
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 3: different activities.

715
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 4: Say it again, Say it again.

716
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 3: Resting and sleeping are two different activities. So ideally, actually no,

717
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 3: not ideally. Realistically, you are scheduling in time for rest, right,

718
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 3: so maybe that looks like you're doing nothing.

719
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:31,439
Speaker 4: They want the month.

720
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 3: Okay, that's scheduled. You protect that. But also let's be clear,

721
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 3: that's only once a month. You need rest more than

722
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 3: once a month, And so that do nothing day is

723
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 3: a whole day of reth. But truly, you want to

724
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 3: incorporate moments of rest every single day. So maybe that

725
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 3: could look like if you work a traditional punch the

726
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 3: time clock job, everybody, by a law gets a lunch break.

727
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 3: During your lunch break, you step away from that building

728
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 3: and you go and sit in your car, and you

729
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 3: do nothing for five to ten minutes, because obviously we

730
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 3: want to make sure that you're eating and you're hydrated,

731
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 3: so you gotta have time to that within that thirty minutes.

732
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 3: But you're giving yourself five minutes ten minutes of rest

733
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 3: on your lunch break. Or maybe you have a workday

734
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 3: that is more flexible that you actually get to design

735
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 3: for yourself. So you know, let's say late morning, your

736
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:04,439
Speaker 3: energy tends to dip, so late morning you build in

737
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 3: some time to rest. Whatever that rest may look like

738
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 3: for you. It may mean taking a twenty to thirty

739
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 3: minute now, it may mean stepping away from the screen

740
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 3: and looking at the clouds. Whatever that rest looks like

741
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 3: for you, you are intentionally adding pieces of rest, moments of

742
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:31,800
Speaker 3: rest into your daily routine.

743
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 2: Oh this is so good, I keep wanting to say,

744
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:37,839
Speaker 2: they're all so important Like this next one I think

745
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 2: is so important, but they really are also important. Number

746
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 2: seven is revisit and rework regularly. This is extremely important,

747
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: right because life changes, like we said before, and what

748
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 2: served you in one season may not serve you in

749
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: the next, and so your routine should change as life changes.

750
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 2: So it's incredibly crucial to check in with ourselves. So

751
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:03,800
Speaker 2: whether it's a monthly or a quarterly check in, ask yourself,

752
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 2: is this still working for me?

753
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 3: Right?

754
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 2: One of the things I did at the beginning of

755
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 2: the years I was trying to get to the space

756
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:12,479
Speaker 2: of again like getting my meal prepping system down.

757
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 4: I at one point, which it may.

758
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 2: Sound kind of rigid, but in this season of me

759
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,399
Speaker 2: adopting and adapting the.

760
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 4: Habit for myself, it was important.

761
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: I on Sundays when I did my meal, I'm gonna

762
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 2: call it meal planning. What I did was I wrote

763
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 2: down all the meals that I planned to eat, like

764
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 2: the five meals including snacks, right, three meals and then

765
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 2: my two snacks every day of the week. Because I

766
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: knew that something I used to do was I will

767
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 2: work work, work, work, work, work work. Where work, I

768
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 2: will work and I wouldn't be eating. I just work

769
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 2: through meals, work through lunchtimes. So when you mentioned lunchtime, now,

770
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: I was like, some of us we won't be taking

771
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 2: that lunch break, or we worked through the lunch break.

772
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 4: So I knew that.

773
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,400
Speaker 2: In order for me to get to the place of like,

774
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 2: you need to eat, girl, I had to write down

775
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 2: and have a plan in place, so I knew what

776
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 2: I was eating. So it was a non decision when

777
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 2: meal time came and I prep. Then I got to

778
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,720
Speaker 2: a space a couple months in where I was like, Okay,

779
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 2: this served me for a while. I don't even need

780
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 2: to do that anymore. So now I just prep my mails,

781
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 2: put them in big containers. I'm not putting them in

782
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 2: these little containers which served me at one point but

783
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 2: not know moll put them in the big container and

784
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 2: I just portion out my meals as I go throughout

785
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,280
Speaker 2: the week, and I'll usually do another meal prep on Wednesday.

786
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 2: So now that I've I don't do that anymore. It

787
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 2: creates space for me to do other things. So checking

788
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: in with yourself to see, okay, is it still working

789
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 2: for me? What do I need to change or alter

790
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 2: based on the season I'm in. That is extremely important

791
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,400
Speaker 2: when it comes to this conversation we're having about rhythm

792
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 2: and routines.

793
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 3: I love that, and you know it made me as

794
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 3: you were sharing, it made me think about we've been

795
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 3: talking about not being rigid, but I do want to

796
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 3: add that caviat, right, and lady, if you are new

797
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 3: to having a schedule, having structure, like really being intentional

798
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 3: about the routine. For some of us, initially when we're

799
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:09,280
Speaker 3: starting a new routine, we may need to be pretty

800
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,399
Speaker 3: rigid so that we get so that we can get

801
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 3: into the habit of doing it right. And as you

802
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 3: get better at being in this routine, then you can

803
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 3: let go of some of that rigidity, right, And that's

804
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,959
Speaker 3: that part of revisiting and reworking that you're like, Okay, wait,

805
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 3: I'm new to I'll go with the meal planning and

806
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 3: meal propping, right, and I'm new to meal prepping, so

807
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 3: I'm going to be pretty rigid about this in terms

808
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 3: of incorporating it into my routine. But like you said,

809
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 3: after a while you and you have a better rhythm

810
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 3: and flow with it, and you practice adapting it through

811
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 3: the various changes in feasing, you can let go of

812
00:46:58,360 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 3: some of that rigidity.

813
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 4: All right, lady.

814
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 2: So what we're gonna do now is we're going to

815
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:04,799
Speaker 2: do a quick recap and share the seven tips for

816
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 2: building a gentle aligned routine, just so you can kind

817
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:10,880
Speaker 2: of have them all in one SoundBite. But then Domini

818
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 2: are going to record the after show, and in the

819
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,760
Speaker 2: after show, we are going to share seven journaling prompts

820
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 2: that you can use as you're on your journey. So

821
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 2: head on over to perspace podcast dot com. You can

822
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 2: click anywhere you see Patreon, and that's where we'll talk

823
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 2: more about all the other journaling prompts. So we're going

824
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 2: to close out with the seven tips right now. And

825
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 2: number one is start with your non negotiables. Number two

826
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 2: build routines, not rigid timelines, or build rhythms and not

827
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,160
Speaker 2: rigid timelines. Number three is on the season you're in.

828
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 2: Number four, use visual tools that actually inspire you. Number five,

829
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 2: batch and buffer where you can. Number six, let rest

830
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 2: be a part of the routine. And number seven revisit

831
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 2: and rework regularly.

832
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 3: All right, lady, we will see you in the after show.

833
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 3: It's doctor Do'm here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

834
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 3: Are you currently a resident of the state of California

835
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 3: and contemplating starting your therapy journey well. If so, please

836
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 3: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

837
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I N I q

838
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 3: U E b R O U S s ar D

839
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 3: dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I

840
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 3: look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for tuning into

841
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 3: Cultivating her Space. Remember that while this podcast is all

842
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 3: about healing, empowerment, and resilience, it's not a substitute for therapy.

843
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 3: If you are someone you know needs support, check out

844
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:56,799
Speaker 3: resources like Therapy for Black Girls or Psychology Today. If

845
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:59,919
Speaker 3: you love today's episode, do us a favor and share

846
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 3: with a friend who needs some inspiration or leave us

847
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 3: a quick five star review. Your support means the world

848
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 3: to us and helps keep this space thriving.

849
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:15,280
Speaker 2: And before we meet again, repeat after me, I honor

850
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:20,840
Speaker 2: my journey by balancing effort and rest to achieve my goals.

851
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,359
Speaker 2: Cheap thriving Lady, and tune in next Friday for more

852
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 2: inspiration from Cultivating her Space. In the meantime, be sure

853
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 2: to connect with us on Instagram at her Space Podcast.