Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: welcome to this week's little wine Down episode. Um christ And,
Speaker 1: first of all, what is going on in Nashville right now?
Speaker 1: Because everyone's texting me going are you gonna make your
Speaker 1: flight home? And I'm like, well, now I'm stressing out.
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was gonna like be missing a flight,
Speaker 1: but what is going on? Okay? So I actually was
Speaker 1: hoping that you no one was telling you anything because
Speaker 1: I felt like this would stress you out. Yeah, okay, Um, well,
Speaker 1: we're having there, like we're having some sort of like
Speaker 1: really severe weather. But it's crazy because in Moscow right now,
Speaker 1: it's thirty five degrees. In Detroit it's like thirty two degrees,
Speaker 1: and here in Nashville it's negative one. I'm sorry what,
Speaker 1: I don't know what's happening. We got a tiny bit
Speaker 1: of snow, just a dusting and that's it. So we
Speaker 1: have nothing to report other than it's just really really cold.
Speaker 1: So I've been Sarah Bryce called of me obviously, and
Speaker 1: she was just like, you're gonna be stuck in London forever.
Speaker 1: Why would she do that? And so I've and then
Speaker 1: my dad's like you know, it's the airports are shutting down.
Speaker 1: So I've just been a little I'm not gonna live.
Speaker 1: I've had a little anxiety today just because I'm like
Speaker 1: and Sarah's like, wait, when do you come home? And
Speaker 1: I go, I come home on Christmas Eve? And she says,
Speaker 1: you're cutting it that close. I'm like, well, I don't
Speaker 1: get my kids until noon on Christmas Day, so I
Speaker 1: figured I would be fine. You're I promise You're gonna
Speaker 1: be fine. We don't have any snow and we have sunshine.
Speaker 1: You can see the sunshine. Is this the coldest Nashville's
Speaker 1: ever been? I mean it's the coldest it's ever been
Speaker 1: since I've been here. I was just texting your girlfriend
Speaker 1: of mine in Michigan today and I'm like, there's no
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't I would remember us going to negative.
Speaker 1: We've never been negative. Yeah, I don't remember that either.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. Okay, well are you ready for Christmas? Like?
Speaker 1: How are you doing? Um? I really am trying to
Speaker 1: pretend like I want to participate in this small talk,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, yeah, okay, so tell me. Okay, so
Speaker 1: we're not in this. I'm gonna let me lead this
Speaker 1: podcast for two seconds. So Hannah and I are not
Speaker 1: in the same location today, not because of weather, but
Speaker 1: because of answering arm and San Diego and where in
Speaker 1: the world is Diego today? She is live from life.
Speaker 1: I am live from a place that's like a few
Speaker 1: hours away from London, Okay, And I know, joke, feel
Speaker 1: like I have been living the holiday. I mean, I
Speaker 1: swear to you. It feels that. It's so funny too,
Speaker 1: because I had mentioned that on when I was flying here.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, I hope you find your jewe law. So
Speaker 1: have we found the jewe law? I'm not answering that question, Okay. Um, well,
Speaker 1: I hope that they used the video from this footage
Speaker 1: because that the smile on your face says otherwise. And
Speaker 1: that's fine. Listen, it's been You know. What's so interesting
Speaker 1: is I called you the first day that I was here,
Speaker 1: and you said something to me that it's honestly, every
Speaker 1: time I thought of it, it's made me emotional to
Speaker 1: think about it. And I'm gonna butcher what you said.
Speaker 1: But it was so short and sweet and simple. But
Speaker 1: it was like travel far enough away to find what
Speaker 1: did you say, like travel far enough away to find
Speaker 1: you find yourself. Yeah, it's not. I did not make
Speaker 1: this quote up, but it's like literally one of my
Speaker 1: favorite quotes. Both my kids have it on a travel
Speaker 1: map and it says travel far enough, you meet yourself.
Speaker 1: M hmm. And it's like literally one of my favorite
Speaker 1: quotes ever because I remember some of my darkest times,
Speaker 1: like divorce. I had a job where I traveled a lot,
Speaker 1: and I remember the tears from Corpus Christie. That's what
Speaker 1: I called that little segment of my life. But I
Speaker 1: literally just you're so alone when you travel. Sometimes times
Speaker 1: you're never alone, but then you're so alone, Like you
Speaker 1: can be on a plane with a thousand people and
Speaker 1: still just feel like really lonely if you're in your
Speaker 1: own you know heads. So I was like, let's just
Speaker 1: use the opportunity of travel for you to at least
Speaker 1: just find more parts about Jama. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: that's what's been the most. Just like you said, like
Speaker 1: when I was traveling this past summer, I have and
Speaker 1: you know me, you've you've known me since I was
Speaker 1: you know how many gosh, how many seven eight years
Speaker 1: now eight years eight years at least because we were pregnant,
Speaker 1: were was before we were pregnant with the girls. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't do alone. And the last you know, I
Speaker 1: think divorcing, like I was forced to be alone. And
Speaker 1: I don't think I really got comfortable being alone until
Speaker 1: earlier this year. And I think it's been the greatest
Speaker 1: gift that I've gotten this year was because I mean
Speaker 1: even just when I is running on these like country
Speaker 1: country roads out here, you know, against Sarah called me
Speaker 1: and she's like, aren't you scared? Like you're just like
Speaker 1: in the middle of nowhere on these country roads, And
Speaker 1: I go, you know what Sarah I said about a
Speaker 1: year ago, two years ago, five years ago, even when
Speaker 1: I was happily married. I yeah, I would have been
Speaker 1: scared running alone out here, and I go, I have
Speaker 1: never felt more safe and just like peaceful like I was.
Speaker 1: I could have ran a marathon on those little country
Speaker 1: roads because I almost like my body just didn't even
Speaker 1: want to stop. It just felt very just like I
Speaker 1: don't know, there's something about just truly just being alone
Speaker 1: in the open and in a new place and just
Speaker 1: exploring and like like you said, and he said that quote,
Speaker 1: WHI is like finding myself through it. It's been such
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing that I think that's been the journey
Speaker 1: of like shifting. You know, obviously I came out here
Speaker 1: to see someone, right, but to have a lot of
Speaker 1: time also to myself has been and just really affirming
Speaker 1: to me that it's a It's so filling for my soul.
Speaker 1: I also think there's something too when you said not
Speaker 1: being afraid. First of all, I think it's fair to
Speaker 1: say we need to stop answering the phone for Sarah
Speaker 1: Brice because I just don't feel like I love her
Speaker 1: so much, but she is just not helping the anxiety. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The best thing too, is like we're going on in
Speaker 1: a girl's trip in January. Sorry, you couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: I already asked you, you you said you couldn't go. But
Speaker 1: I love that publicly. I like that we cleared that
Speaker 1: up publicly. We had to. We had to clear publicly.
Speaker 1: I did not not invite you, and actually invited all
Speaker 1: of queendom um. And so you know, Sarah is coming
Speaker 1: with me, and she's like, if you think that I'm
Speaker 1: going to be running in Tijuana by myself, I go, Sarah,
Speaker 1: We're going to the Bahamas. Like, first of all, we're
Speaker 1: gonna stay on campus, you know, like, yeah, we're gonna stop. Respectfully,
Speaker 1: We're gonna stop. Bryce, if you're listening to this, we're
Speaker 1: gonna stop answering the phone for Sarah Brice, Um, who
Speaker 1: I am now effectually changing in my phone. Her contact
Speaker 1: information now says chicken Little. So we're gonna be done. Um.
Speaker 1: There's something to what you're saying. And I know that
Speaker 1: you and I both really deal with anxiety a lot,
Speaker 1: and I've read so much about how anxiety is sometimes
Speaker 1: just getting ahead of yourself and your own brain. And
Speaker 1: I think when we feel like, listen, there's something to
Speaker 1: your own intuition and feeling safe. Like you and I
Speaker 1: both grew up in Michigan, Like I'm not gonna walk
Speaker 1: probably downtown Detroit at two am by myself feeling I
Speaker 1: get it. He is actually intuition in a little bit legit.
Speaker 1: But like in so many instances, I think the unsafety
Speaker 1: that we feel is not unsafety. It's just anxiety. And
Speaker 1: that's just from us not living presently in our own bodies.
Speaker 1: So when you're out running and you're like, well, first
Speaker 1: of all, running it is just so wildly it just
Speaker 1: puts me so in tune. It's like my heart rate,
Speaker 1: my anxiety, my thoughts, my feet, everything matches for the
Speaker 1: first time. But I feel like when you're doing that
Speaker 1: and you're so present in yourself, that's why you can
Speaker 1: feel safe because you're in alignment for the first time
Speaker 1: in a while. And that's been this year for you
Speaker 1: in general. I feel like, yeah, it's been it's been
Speaker 1: really great. And it's also something too. I remember when
Speaker 1: I was flying here because this is the first time
Speaker 1: flying somewhere by myself with you know, a long distance.
Speaker 1: Never this far. Ever, this is far. I mean that's
Speaker 1: an eight hour nine hour flight, right, Yeah, it's eight
Speaker 1: there and nine back. And so I did, like I
Speaker 1: had some anxiety, a little type chest you know, Amy Textama.
Speaker 1: She's like, this is just another kind of thing that
Speaker 1: like you're going to prove to yourself that you can
Speaker 1: do it. And it's like, I know, Amy, but I'm
Speaker 1: not on medicine anymore, Like what if? Like that was
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and so I just kind of started
Speaker 1: to go on a little bit of rabbit hole. And
Speaker 1: then I was on the plane and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I did what you did, Like I got the little
Speaker 1: the eyemask and and everyone was like, how did you
Speaker 1: deal with an anxiety free flight? And honestly, the one
Speaker 1: thing that I did was so I cocoon, like you said.
Speaker 1: But what I realized was, and you know, I always say, like,
Speaker 1: I'm not alone, there's God us. Having said all of that,
Speaker 1: one of the things that really helped my anxiety this
Speaker 1: trip was I talked to people. Literally, the guy next
Speaker 1: to me, I was like, Hi, how are you like?
Speaker 1: My name is Janna. It's nice to meet you. And
Speaker 1: instantly I was like, I'm not alone. I've got Gary
Speaker 1: next to me, and like Gary is cool. And then
Speaker 1: on the train, on the little car ride to baggage claim,
Speaker 1: you know, I met this beautiful family from Wales and
Speaker 1: had a conversation with them, and I just started talking
Speaker 1: to people and I'm like, I'm not alone, like because
Speaker 1: in my man I'm like, well, what if something happens
Speaker 1: and I'm alone and no one's here and I'm anxietly
Speaker 1: It's like, no, I'm not, like I've I just met
Speaker 1: this beautiful family and this couple over here, and and
Speaker 1: even in the moments where i'm a I'm like I'm okay.
Speaker 1: And so I think just like reassuring myself. You know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like this this and listen, I'm not like
Speaker 1: going to go crazy on this, but like social media, media,
Speaker 1: the news, like all these people have created this and
Speaker 1: I'm not saying they're completely wrong, but I feel like
Speaker 1: we have created this anxiety written society where we're like
Speaker 1: everyone it's like we assume everyone is like it's like
Speaker 1: assuming everyone's guilty until proven innocent, Like everyone is an
Speaker 1: AX murderer until they're not. And it's like you like,
Speaker 1: there's really a lot wonderful people out there, Like there's
Speaker 1: a lot of Jannas of the world. All we have
Speaker 1: to do is just kind of like say hi, or
Speaker 1: like you learn someone's story. I kind of like use
Speaker 1: those I use those little instances in my own brain.
Speaker 1: Is like I had to do this during cm A
Speaker 1: week because I sometimes feel lonely in CMA week, which
Speaker 1: is ironic because I'm surrounded by people, but it's a
Speaker 1: lot of like fakeness in our industry and it's a
Speaker 1: lot of um insincerity sometimes, and so I use these
Speaker 1: like I frame things in my head like a scavenger
Speaker 1: hunt to like find the reason I'm put into places
Speaker 1: or situation. So like I was looking for lighthouses this year.
Speaker 1: That was my thing. I was like, I'm gonna, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna hug a few lighthouses. I'll sign them. But like
Speaker 1: I feel like in travel like that or just anything,
Speaker 1: there's a reason you're put where you're put and up.
Speaker 1: But he needed your smile, or somebody needed your sentence,
Speaker 1: or somebody needed you to like, you know, pass an
Speaker 1: extra sugar or whatever. And I feel like we just
Speaker 1: sometimes forget that humanity has connected a little bit more
Speaker 1: tighten it than we think we are, and we're so
Speaker 1: afraid of everybody now that we're I mean, listen, don't
Speaker 1: give out your number, Creamer, because I know you that
Speaker 1: person you met, Gary's probably coming to Easter with us.
Speaker 1: And that's fine, I know. I feel like sometimes it
Speaker 1: just doesn't have to be, Like it's just so good
Speaker 1: to remember like we're we were all made and created
Speaker 1: to connect to each other. We're made to like lean
Speaker 1: into each other and to learn from each other, and
Speaker 1: we get in our own little like isolation bubbles, and
Speaker 1: that's not good for anxiety. People and people do want
Speaker 1: to like they do want to smiley face like you
Speaker 1: I want you know, like everybody wants. I want to
Speaker 1: be Gary come home. So tomorrow I travel might start
Speaker 1: my travel home. Right, So it's, um, I've got about
Speaker 1: a three two and a half hour drive to the
Speaker 1: Heathrow airport and kind of close. I'm just kidding, totally kidding. UM,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm gonna you know, start the journey.
Speaker 1: And then when I get to the airport, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm starting to Okay, it's gonna be a long fight.
Speaker 1: But again, it's it's the just remembering. I think, like
Speaker 1: just knowing speaking into anxiety sometimes really helps. And then
Speaker 1: also you know, um, for me, beah, my tip is
Speaker 1: help talking to somebody else. And then just really I
Speaker 1: mean I'm gonna get you know, good nine hours to
Speaker 1: myself to Binge the new Emily in Paris, or you know,
Speaker 1: just kind of reflect on the trip or write or
Speaker 1: read and um. And then you know, I'm I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to see my babies there. I'm just like so
Speaker 1: so pumped about that, and you know, I'm gonna go home.
Speaker 1: And I started to get a little sad about Christmas Eve,
Speaker 1: just because I've been so strong about it. I've been
Speaker 1: so like, oh, it's all good. I'm going to celebrate
Speaker 1: on Christmas Day and like that's gonna be a Christmas even,
Speaker 1: like everything's all great and like gravy and like positive, positive, positive,
Speaker 1: And then it hit me their day. I was like,
Speaker 1: this does suck and this is gonna be hard. But
Speaker 1: you know, I like I let myself feel those emotions too,
Speaker 1: which I think is normal and I think you have
Speaker 1: to like feel your feels. But overall, I have been
Speaker 1: I've really enjoyed this trip. I have a feeling I'm
Speaker 1: going to come back at some point, and m is
Speaker 1: there anything else tell us about the trip? Cramer? Is there?
Speaker 1: I think you said something and I know that you
Speaker 1: know people are coming on for a little bit of tea,
Speaker 1: but I think what you said the last podcast was
Speaker 1: protect Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I contradict myself. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know, because you're like tell me, tell me, tell me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, no, christ It's gonna love this. I
Speaker 1: wanna because I think it's true that I again, I
Speaker 1: give so much that I'm like I don't get a
Speaker 1: lot to hold to myself. Okay, So I want to
Speaker 1: add this. I want to like lump this in for
Speaker 1: you with Christmas Eve, because something hit me when you
Speaker 1: said you're gonna be in Christmas Eve by yourself, and
Speaker 1: you know, obviously you and I are openly Christian, and
Speaker 1: we celebrate the birth of Christ on Christmas Day, and
Speaker 1: I feel like, I feel like I just want you
Speaker 1: to sink into a moment of and I won't get
Speaker 1: too godly here, but like how scared Mary was on
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve and how she knew her life was changing,
Speaker 1: and how the next day there was a birth of
Speaker 1: something that changed the world. And it doesn't obviously obviously
Speaker 1: you're not Mary Um and obviously you all know that
Speaker 1: one like any other comments about that, but there is
Speaker 1: something that is changing. So I would just encourage you
Speaker 1: to sink into, like, Okay, the fact that you get
Speaker 1: a silent night is actually kind of redemptive and a
Speaker 1: little symbolic to me. I think it's gonna be good
Speaker 1: for you to just sit in it, and maybe you
Speaker 1: maybe this Christmas just feels different because you just get
Speaker 1: to soak into what is what is being born out
Speaker 1: of you and what you are kind of celebrating, and
Speaker 1: obviously the King, but there's just a lot of symbolic,
Speaker 1: wonderful little things in there that's pretty poetic to me,
Speaker 1: and in that you're a new chapter of being protective
Speaker 1: of said gentleman. I just really can't get enough. Um,
Speaker 1: I was privileged enough to face time in and see
Speaker 1: that dapper gentleman earlier in the week. I want to
Speaker 1: let everybody he is rather handsome and very polite and wonderful.
Speaker 1: As Jannah just gulps water because she has nothing to comment. Um,
Speaker 1: you need in for something, Cramer, but you are just
Speaker 1: really like what a wonderful way to close out your year.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, Like look at your growth And this isn't
Speaker 1: me fan girling, this is like me just like as
Speaker 1: a friend. I mean, I just think of like the
Speaker 1: depths of where you started the year and how you
Speaker 1: you're even your relationships with men over the year, and
Speaker 1: now you're going to fly home. You you took a
Speaker 1: huge leap first of all, to fly too, like nine
Speaker 1: hours away, to get to know someone better and give
Speaker 1: it a real chance and not live in a fantasy
Speaker 1: of what it could be because it could be the
Speaker 1: holiday movie. But you got there like boots on the ground,
Speaker 1: like let's see, do I like you do? You chew
Speaker 1: with your mouth open, like can I even deal? With this,
Speaker 1: and now you get back and you get to you know,
Speaker 1: decompress and process on your way home, and you get
Speaker 1: to come home to a cozy house and just really
Speaker 1: reflect on a silent night and just all the things
Speaker 1: you've done for yourself, and it's probably your last chance
Speaker 1: alone for the rest of the year. Let's be real
Speaker 1: with each other. So I'm just really proud of you.
Speaker 1: But yes, this is a really fun new chapter. Thank
Speaker 1: you again. Like you've always said, these trips are not
Speaker 1: about even in the summer when I was doing whatever,
Speaker 1: it's this is I'm finding pieces of me along the way,
Speaker 1: you know, and getting whole more whole every second. And
Speaker 1: I truly like I was. I was telling my friend
Speaker 1: um Rachel the other day, it's just like, my my
Speaker 1: greatest thing is the lessons in the hard times, like
Speaker 1: what I learned in missteps, and you know, there's things
Speaker 1: that I that I've said wrong or done wrong. It's like, okay,
Speaker 1: like there's there's lessons in all of this, and I
Speaker 1: think that's just been Like the coolest thing is to
Speaker 1: like I you can you just keep learning, you keep growing,
Speaker 1: you keep finding out who you are and and bettering
Speaker 1: yourself and and again, you know, just boundering up real
Speaker 1: hard and what I want and not settling and just
Speaker 1: being happy because God, life is so short and I
Speaker 1: just want to have fun and I want to explore
Speaker 1: and I don't want to live just anxiety written right,
Speaker 1: because I feel like for the last thirty years of
Speaker 1: my life, I've always held myself back from like doing
Speaker 1: things because I was so afraid that something was going
Speaker 1: to happen or I would get are just something. And like,
Speaker 1: I'm so sick of living my life like this. And
Speaker 1: it's like I feel like this is my first step
Speaker 1: to go okay, Like I'm not going to hold myself
Speaker 1: back from exploring my heart, exploring who I am and
Speaker 1: and having fun along the way. And I think you've
Speaker 1: gotten good and really protective too with like who you
Speaker 1: surround yourself with. Like one thing you and I have
Speaker 1: in common is we have a tendency to over explain.
Speaker 1: We have a tendency to overshare um. And I feel
Speaker 1: like we've meet up hum. I feel like we have
Speaker 1: done really good job this year. But one of the
Speaker 1: things I think is most important about what you've done
Speaker 1: this year is you've really kind of cut out the
Speaker 1: noise and friendships too, Like, not everybody needs an opinion
Speaker 1: on everything you've done. Queendom has been quiet, but not
Speaker 1: because of Queendom has been has been quiet of other
Speaker 1: of of things not involving my love life. It's been
Speaker 1: other things. Use is just all the like that because
Speaker 1: I would want opinions. It's like now it's just not
Speaker 1: even about I don't like queen them in as much
Speaker 1: to that. Yeah, and I think that's good, Like we're
Speaker 1: here to all laugh about stuff and make good jokes
Speaker 1: and like, but ultimately in life, Like I hope people
Speaker 1: listening to this. This is one thing I hope people
Speaker 1: take for their New year is really surround yourself with
Speaker 1: people that just do not have judgment of what you're
Speaker 1: up to, can fully support you, can call you out
Speaker 1: sometimes and be like, hey, I don't really like love
Speaker 1: this for you, or this makes me nervous, but I
Speaker 1: think that there's And mostly I say this just because
Speaker 1: whenever I'm on podcast and you and people when we
Speaker 1: talk about queendom, people are like, oh, I wish I
Speaker 1: had to queendom, and I'm like, but you will. You
Speaker 1: just have to really start to get picky, like it
Speaker 1: matters to not have it matters with who. You don't
Speaker 1: be so desperate to have a friend that you just
Speaker 1: pick anybody. It's the same thing in love, like have
Speaker 1: the people that can really just walk it out with you.
Speaker 1: I mean, this life is so tiny and it is
Speaker 1: so quick. And I just was talking to Kelly Rizzo
Speaker 1: actually yesterday mobsag wife because she's coming up on I've
Speaker 1: been thinking of her a lot. She's coming up on
Speaker 1: her first like three six without Bob. So I just
Speaker 1: reached out and he's like, you know, I love you,
Speaker 1: and I've just been thinking of you. And it's like,
Speaker 1: think about where her life was a year ago, m
Speaker 1: h A year ago she was celebrating Christmas slash Hanka
Speaker 1: with Bob, and this year she's in Chicago and she's
Speaker 1: tucked in and she's and I'm saying all this because
Speaker 1: she's posting about it too, so I'm not like sharing
Speaker 1: her business. But like things change so quickly that we
Speaker 1: have to just like really love who we're with, like
Speaker 1: your friendships, relationships like fly to London, meet yourself, meet strangers,
Speaker 1: Like let's like really start to like live this life
Speaker 1: a little bit. You and I get so trapped in
Speaker 1: our anxiety and our what ifs, and like I mean,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that aren't going to make sense,
Speaker 1: and then there's just a lot of things that like
Speaker 1: we'll figure out the lesson ten years from now or
Speaker 1: maybe never. I love that and I think that's a
Speaker 1: great thing for the listeners to. You know, if there's
Speaker 1: one thing that you've been wanting to do that's held
Speaker 1: you back, whether it's take a trip or um reconnect
Speaker 1: with someone, or just whatever it is that's that's that's
Speaker 1: held you back, write it down and and and make
Speaker 1: that be maybe you're you're one of your goals for
Speaker 1: this year. That's what I would say. Like the winter solstice,
Speaker 1: in the darkest day of the year is actually my
Speaker 1: favorite day of the year because knowing that like encouraging,
Speaker 1: like things are going to get lighter each day. I
Speaker 1: just love that whole sentiment, the whole the whole feeling
Speaker 1: behind it. I love it. Well, what if we what
Speaker 1: if we adopted that knowing in our own hearts about
Speaker 1: every part of life, Like we know scientifically things are
Speaker 1: going to get lighter. Sure, we take a deep breath
Speaker 1: and we can rest in it. Like, what if we
Speaker 1: really take the time to just go like, I know
Speaker 1: things are going to get lighter, and just like knowing
Speaker 1: the point where you're manifesting it, you're praying it boldly,
Speaker 1: like all of those things. London, that trip to London.
Speaker 1: It's it's crazy to me that we did a trip
Speaker 1: to London in the same year because the London trip
Speaker 1: so many wonderful things for me, for my marriage, for myself,
Speaker 1: But the biggest thing it was for me was that
Speaker 1: I had over this last year and I hope I
Speaker 1: don't get emotional, but I lost five people in eleven
Speaker 1: months and the definitely gonna cry. I almost made it
Speaker 1: to the end of the year. Framer money, it's real,
Speaker 1: you know, um. But I had gotten so anxious about
Speaker 1: loss and so like it's not like me to not live,
Speaker 1: but I just got so like scared to do anything.
Speaker 1: Like instead of being like, oh well what if I
Speaker 1: could you know all the what if the good what ifs,
Speaker 1: I had all the bad what ifs. And that London
Speaker 1: trip was like I remember we went to Paris for
Speaker 1: one night, so romantic, right, like who am I this
Speaker 1: little girl from Michigan And my husband's like we're doing
Speaker 1: for a night and I'm like, what is happening. But
Speaker 1: I remember turning the corner. I've never seen Niffel Tower
Speaker 1: in real life. I have dreamt of her my entire life.
Speaker 1: And when I corner and I like it is a picture,
Speaker 1: it will flash before my last breath. I already know
Speaker 1: because it matters so much to me. I turned to
Speaker 1: the corner and I kept my head down because I
Speaker 1: didn't want to get any sneak peaks of her until
Speaker 1: I was right up on her, Like I had to
Speaker 1: be face to face with her, before I could really
Speaker 1: like absorb her. So I was like in the car
Speaker 1: and not really looking around. I was afraid I'd sneak
Speaker 1: a of our you know. And I turned to the
Speaker 1: corner and I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time,
Speaker 1: and I just thought to myself, how could you ever
Speaker 1: be so scared you missed this feeling mm hmm. And
Speaker 1: I never want to be so scared that I miss
Speaker 1: feeling like I felt. Mm hmm. It's so simple, and
Speaker 1: that could be anything that could be For some people,
Speaker 1: it's you know, going to target. Like there's real anxiety
Speaker 1: around our world right now for like the scene and
Speaker 1: the unseen, you know, But I feel so hopeful that
Speaker 1: if we can push ourselves to just like know and
Speaker 1: sort what is true and what is being like kind
Speaker 1: of manufactured fear for ourselves, Like we can really go
Speaker 1: and meet ourselves and really take a deep breath, really
Speaker 1: like remember why we're supposed to be breathing, Like, go
Speaker 1: do the things you want to do, because I never
Speaker 1: want to be so scared. I missed something like that
Speaker 1: ever again Yeah, mmm, I love that. I'm taking that
Speaker 1: and that's a good again. The people write, write, write
Speaker 1: it down, write something that you you've been wanting to do.
Speaker 1: Don't miss the beauty and it. No, I'm just so
Speaker 1: proud of you for doing this, Like I'm like, that's right.
Speaker 1: Take the run, don't be spared, don't answer the phone
Speaker 1: for Sarah, Bryce, keep drinking water. Your flight's going to be.
Speaker 1: Like I know, for sure, God moves pieces. I've seen
Speaker 1: him do it in my life so many times that
Speaker 1: it doesn't even make sense. So when I think about
Speaker 1: those as facts, like it's going to get lighter as
Speaker 1: a fact, it just all feels a little easier, you know,
Speaker 1: for sure. Well, Kaybe, I love you so much, and
Speaker 1: um to everyone listening. Right now, we are going to
Speaker 1: take a little bit of a break and we will
Speaker 1: be back on January ninth. So um, have the best
Speaker 1: Christmas and we'll have an amazing new year. We'll see
Speaker 1: you next year to just give you all that we can.
Speaker 1: It's a big year next year, Cramer. It's a big here.
Speaker 1: It's forty, it's fun, it's fabulous. It's gonna be the
Speaker 1: best highs and lows ever. We're taking Wine down on
Speaker 1: the road more next year. I'm so excited. We're adding
Speaker 1: someone to the panel and wind down next year. Can
Speaker 1: I say that? Sure? Okay, that's all I'll say. I
Speaker 1: love that. Okay. It's a sneak sneak peek. Also possibly
Speaker 1: another show we'll see. We are busy. I love it
Speaker 1: all right. I love you so much. Travel safe, cocoon up.
Speaker 1: Tell Gary we love him. Garry, my little British Airways
Speaker 1: friend that I met so sweet. And then he's like,
Speaker 1: I don't think he was very talkative, and that's fine,
Speaker 1: but you know you can just like press the little
Speaker 1: thing and it's like goodbye, don't take it personal. And
Speaker 1: I was like, does he not like? You know? All right?
Speaker 1: I love you big, I'll see you Merry Christmas friend,
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas. I love you. Come home, Come home. Bye
Speaker 1: bye