WEBVTT - Jana’s Holiday Away 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:07.560 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. Okay, 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:14.560 welcome to this week's little wine Down episode. Um christ And, 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.200 first of all, what is going on in Nashville right now? 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:19.759 Because everyone's texting me going are you gonna make your 0:00:19.760 --> 0:00:21.520 flight home? And I'm like, well, now I'm stressing out. 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:24.079 I didn't think I was gonna like be missing a flight, 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:26.799 but what is going on? Okay? So I actually was 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:30.400 hoping that you no one was telling you anything because 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:34.280 I felt like this would stress you out. Yeah, okay, Um, well, 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:36.920 we're having there, like we're having some sort of like 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:40.839 really severe weather. But it's crazy because in Moscow right now, 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:44.120 it's thirty five degrees. In Detroit it's like thirty two degrees, 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:48.040 and here in Nashville it's negative one. I'm sorry what, 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:51.279 I don't know what's happening. We got a tiny bit 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:53.760 of snow, just a dusting and that's it. So we 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:56.480 have nothing to report other than it's just really really cold. 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:01.240 So I've been Sarah Bryce called of me obviously, and 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:04.480 she was just like, you're gonna be stuck in London forever. 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:10.000 Why would she do that? And so I've and then 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:13.400 my dad's like you know, it's the airports are shutting down. 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.400 So I've just been a little I'm not gonna live. 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:18.520 I've had a little anxiety today just because I'm like 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:21.280 and Sarah's like, wait, when do you come home? And 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:23.199 I go, I come home on Christmas Eve? And she says, 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:25.600 you're cutting it that close. I'm like, well, I don't 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:27.760 get my kids until noon on Christmas Day, so I 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:32.280 figured I would be fine. You're I promise You're gonna 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:34.680 be fine. We don't have any snow and we have sunshine. 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:38.560 You can see the sunshine. Is this the coldest Nashville's 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:41.440 ever been? I mean it's the coldest it's ever been 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:43.520 since I've been here. I was just texting your girlfriend 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:45.200 of mine in Michigan today and I'm like, there's no 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:48.800 I mean, I don't I would remember us going to negative. 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:52.040 We've never been negative. Yeah, I don't remember that either. 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:55.000 That's crazy. Okay, well are you ready for Christmas? Like? 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:58.080 How are you doing? Um? I really am trying to 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:00.600 pretend like I want to participate in this small talk, 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:07.720 but I'm like, yeah, okay, so tell me. Okay, so 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:09.840 we're not in this. I'm gonna let me lead this 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:12.720 podcast for two seconds. So Hannah and I are not 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:17.040 in the same location today, not because of weather, but 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:21.960 because of answering arm and San Diego and where in 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:26.880 the world is Diego today? She is live from life. 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:31.680 I am live from a place that's like a few 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:36.600 hours away from London, Okay, And I know, joke, feel 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:40.560 like I have been living the holiday. I mean, I 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:43.680 swear to you. It feels that. It's so funny too, 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:46.639 because I had mentioned that on when I was flying here. 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:50.360 Everyone's like, I hope you find your jewe law. So 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:57.320 have we found the jewe law? I'm not answering that question, Okay. Um, well, 0:02:57.360 --> 0:02:59.720 I hope that they used the video from this footage 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:02.240 because that the smile on your face says otherwise. And 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:06.040 that's fine. Listen, it's been You know. What's so interesting 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:09.240 is I called you the first day that I was here, 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:14.799 and you said something to me that it's honestly, every 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:16.680 time I thought of it, it's made me emotional to 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:19.600 think about it. And I'm gonna butcher what you said. 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.200 But it was so short and sweet and simple. But 0:03:22.919 --> 0:03:25.400 it was like travel far enough away to find what 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:27.119 did you say, like travel far enough away to find 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:29.839 you find yourself. Yeah, it's not. I did not make 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:31.600 this quote up, but it's like literally one of my 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:33.840 favorite quotes. Both my kids have it on a travel 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:36.920 map and it says travel far enough, you meet yourself. 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:41.200 M hmm. And it's like literally one of my favorite 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:44.400 quotes ever because I remember some of my darkest times, 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:47.200 like divorce. I had a job where I traveled a lot, 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:52.720 and I remember the tears from Corpus Christie. That's what 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:54.600 I called that little segment of my life. But I 0:03:54.640 --> 0:04:00.480 literally just you're so alone when you travel. Sometimes times 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:02.760 you're never alone, but then you're so alone, Like you 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:04.800 can be on a plane with a thousand people and 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:08.120 still just feel like really lonely if you're in your 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:11.920 own you know heads. So I was like, let's just 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:14.360 use the opportunity of travel for you to at least 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:18.560 just find more parts about Jama. Yeah, and I think 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:20.960 that's what's been the most. Just like you said, like 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:25.040 when I was traveling this past summer, I have and 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:27.080 you know me, you've you've known me since I was 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:31.040 you know how many gosh, how many seven eight years 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:34.920 now eight years eight years at least because we were pregnant, 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:38.120 were was before we were pregnant with the girls. Yeah, 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:42.520 I don't do alone. And the last you know, I 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:46.600 think divorcing, like I was forced to be alone. And 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:49.800 I don't think I really got comfortable being alone until 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:54.080 earlier this year. And I think it's been the greatest 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:58.920 gift that I've gotten this year was because I mean 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:01.839 even just when I is running on these like country 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:05.919 country roads out here, you know, against Sarah called me 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:09.400 and she's like, aren't you scared? Like you're just like 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:11.600 in the middle of nowhere on these country roads, And 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.000 I go, you know what Sarah I said about a 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.440 year ago, two years ago, five years ago, even when 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:20.040 I was happily married. I yeah, I would have been 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:22.120 scared running alone out here, and I go, I have 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:28.479 never felt more safe and just like peaceful like I was. 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:32.200 I could have ran a marathon on those little country 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:35.120 roads because I almost like my body just didn't even 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:39.080 want to stop. It just felt very just like I 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.920 don't know, there's something about just truly just being alone 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:43.760 in the open and in a new place and just 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.080 exploring and like like you said, and he said that quote, 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:48.640 WHI is like finding myself through it. It's been such 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.320 a beautiful thing that I think that's been the journey 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:53.800 of like shifting. You know, obviously I came out here 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:57.880 to see someone, right, but to have a lot of 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:03.160 time also to myself has been and just really affirming 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:06.039 to me that it's a It's so filling for my soul. 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:11.080 I also think there's something too when you said not 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:12.960 being afraid. First of all, I think it's fair to 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:14.719 say we need to stop answering the phone for Sarah 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:17.200 Brice because I just don't feel like I love her 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:21.520 so much, but she is just not helping the anxiety. Yeah. 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:22.960 The best thing too, is like we're going on in 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:25.880 a girl's trip in January. Sorry, you couldn't do it. 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:28.080 I already asked you, you you said you couldn't go. But 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.040 I love that publicly. I like that we cleared that 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:33.160 up publicly. We had to. We had to clear publicly. 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:35.680 I did not not invite you, and actually invited all 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:39.680 of queendom um. And so you know, Sarah is coming 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:41.600 with me, and she's like, if you think that I'm 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:43.680 going to be running in Tijuana by myself, I go, Sarah, 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:47.760 We're going to the Bahamas. Like, first of all, we're 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:53.000 gonna stay on campus, you know, like, yeah, we're gonna stop. Respectfully, 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:55.000 We're gonna stop. Bryce, if you're listening to this, we're 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:58.279 gonna stop answering the phone for Sarah Brice, Um, who 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.480 I am now effectually changing in my phone. Her contact 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:05.719 information now says chicken Little. So we're gonna be done. Um. 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:09.280 There's something to what you're saying. And I know that 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:12.920 you and I both really deal with anxiety a lot, 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:16.680 and I've read so much about how anxiety is sometimes 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.480 just getting ahead of yourself and your own brain. And 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:23.040 I think when we feel like, listen, there's something to 0:07:23.080 --> 0:07:25.600 your own intuition and feeling safe. Like you and I 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.200 both grew up in Michigan, Like I'm not gonna walk 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:30.240 probably downtown Detroit at two am by myself feeling I 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:33.040 get it. He is actually intuition in a little bit legit. 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:36.640 But like in so many instances, I think the unsafety 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:40.720 that we feel is not unsafety. It's just anxiety. And 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:43.239 that's just from us not living presently in our own bodies. 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:46.480 So when you're out running and you're like, well, first 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:49.320 of all, running it is just so wildly it just 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:51.720 puts me so in tune. It's like my heart rate, 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:55.000 my anxiety, my thoughts, my feet, everything matches for the 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.720 first time. But I feel like when you're doing that 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:00.440 and you're so present in yourself, that's why you can 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:04.200 feel safe because you're in alignment for the first time 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.160 in a while. And that's been this year for you 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:09.400 in general. I feel like, yeah, it's been it's been 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.000 really great. And it's also something too. I remember when 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:14.080 I was flying here because this is the first time 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:19.600 flying somewhere by myself with you know, a long distance. 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:22.360 Never this far. Ever, this is far. I mean that's 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:24.920 an eight hour nine hour flight, right, Yeah, it's eight 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:27.360 there and nine back. And so I did, like I 0:08:27.400 --> 0:08:30.200 had some anxiety, a little type chest you know, Amy Textama. 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:33.200 She's like, this is just another kind of thing that 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:34.839 like you're going to prove to yourself that you can 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.040 do it. And it's like, I know, Amy, but I'm 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:39.120 not on medicine anymore, Like what if? Like that was 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:40.800 blah blah blah, and so I just kind of started 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:42.160 to go on a little bit of rabbit hole. And 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:45.120 then I was on the plane and I was like, Okay, 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:46.880 I did what you did, Like I got the little 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:49.480 the eyemask and and everyone was like, how did you 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.120 deal with an anxiety free flight? And honestly, the one 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:54.959 thing that I did was so I cocoon, like you said. 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:58.679 But what I realized was, and you know, I always say, like, 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:01.839 I'm not alone, there's God us. Having said all of that, 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:04.040 one of the things that really helped my anxiety this 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:07.200 trip was I talked to people. Literally, the guy next 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.640 to me, I was like, Hi, how are you like? 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.200 My name is Janna. It's nice to meet you. And 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:14.560 instantly I was like, I'm not alone. I've got Gary 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:16.920 next to me, and like Gary is cool. And then 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:21.079 on the train, on the little car ride to baggage claim, 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:23.760 you know, I met this beautiful family from Wales and 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:26.640 had a conversation with them, and I just started talking 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:28.720 to people and I'm like, I'm not alone, like because 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:30.240 in my man I'm like, well, what if something happens 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.000 and I'm alone and no one's here and I'm anxietly 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:34.720 It's like, no, I'm not, like I've I just met 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:37.880 this beautiful family and this couple over here, and and 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:40.760 even in the moments where i'm a I'm like I'm okay. 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.959 And so I think just like reassuring myself. You know, yeah, 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.640 I feel like this this and listen, I'm not like 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:49.920 going to go crazy on this, but like social media, media, 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:53.640 the news, like all these people have created this and 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:55.480 I'm not saying they're completely wrong, but I feel like 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:59.720 we have created this anxiety written society where we're like 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:03.400 everyone it's like we assume everyone is like it's like 0:10:03.440 --> 0:10:07.800 assuming everyone's guilty until proven innocent, Like everyone is an 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:11.240 AX murderer until they're not. And it's like you like, 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:15.440 there's really a lot wonderful people out there, Like there's 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:17.640 a lot of Jannas of the world. All we have 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:19.400 to do is just kind of like say hi, or 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:22.400 like you learn someone's story. I kind of like use 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:26.480 those I use those little instances in my own brain. 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:28.280 Is like I had to do this during cm A 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:31.040 week because I sometimes feel lonely in CMA week, which 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:33.720 is ironic because I'm surrounded by people, but it's a 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.240 lot of like fakeness in our industry and it's a 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:40.880 lot of um insincerity sometimes, and so I use these 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:43.439 like I frame things in my head like a scavenger 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:46.640 hunt to like find the reason I'm put into places 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:50.160 or situation. So like I was looking for lighthouses this year. 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:51.679 That was my thing. I was like, I'm gonna, I'm 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:53.840 gonna hug a few lighthouses. I'll sign them. But like 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.960 I feel like in travel like that or just anything, 0:10:57.040 --> 0:11:00.120 there's a reason you're put where you're put and up. 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.720 But he needed your smile, or somebody needed your sentence, 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.520 or somebody needed you to like, you know, pass an 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:08.640 extra sugar or whatever. And I feel like we just 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:11.600 sometimes forget that humanity has connected a little bit more 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.000 tighten it than we think we are, and we're so 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:17.840 afraid of everybody now that we're I mean, listen, don't 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.240 give out your number, Creamer, because I know you that 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:22.719 person you met, Gary's probably coming to Easter with us. 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.360 And that's fine, I know. I feel like sometimes it 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:29.200 just doesn't have to be, Like it's just so good 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:32.800 to remember like we're we were all made and created 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:36.440 to connect to each other. We're made to like lean 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.440 into each other and to learn from each other, and 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:40.800 we get in our own little like isolation bubbles, and 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:43.760 that's not good for anxiety. People and people do want 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:46.560 to like they do want to smiley face like you 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:49.720 I want you know, like everybody wants. I want to 0:11:49.760 --> 0:12:05.840 be Gary come home. So tomorrow I travel might start 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.720 my travel home. Right, So it's, um, I've got about 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.480 a three two and a half hour drive to the 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:17.600 Heathrow airport and kind of close. I'm just kidding, totally kidding. UM, 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:21.120 So I'm gonna I'm gonna you know, start the journey. 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:23.440 And then when I get to the airport, you know, 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:25.760 I'm starting to Okay, it's gonna be a long fight. 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:30.680 But again, it's it's the just remembering. I think, like 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:34.839 just knowing speaking into anxiety sometimes really helps. And then 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:37.920 also you know, um, for me, beah, my tip is 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:42.120 help talking to somebody else. And then just really I 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.240 mean I'm gonna get you know, good nine hours to 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:47.520 myself to Binge the new Emily in Paris, or you know, 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:49.559 just kind of reflect on the trip or write or 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:52.920 read and um. And then you know, I'm I'm so 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:56.280 excited to see my babies there. I'm just like so 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:58.480 so pumped about that, and you know, I'm gonna go home. 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:01.360 And I started to get a little sad about Christmas Eve, 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:03.560 just because I've been so strong about it. I've been 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.199 so like, oh, it's all good. I'm going to celebrate 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.440 on Christmas Day and like that's gonna be a Christmas even, 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:11.000 like everything's all great and like gravy and like positive, positive, positive, 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:12.719 And then it hit me their day. I was like, 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:15.520 this does suck and this is gonna be hard. But 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.360 you know, I like I let myself feel those emotions too, 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.720 which I think is normal and I think you have 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:24.600 to like feel your feels. But overall, I have been 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.440 I've really enjoyed this trip. I have a feeling I'm 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:32.760 going to come back at some point, and m is 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:36.880 there anything else tell us about the trip? Cramer? Is there? 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.920 I think you said something and I know that you 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:43.400 know people are coming on for a little bit of tea, 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:48.200 but I think what you said the last podcast was 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:54.760 protect Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I contradict myself. And I'm like, 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:56.920 I know, because you're like tell me, tell me, tell me. 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:58.480 I'm like, wait, no, christ It's gonna love this. I 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.400 wanna because I think it's true that I again, I 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:04.080 give so much that I'm like I don't get a 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:08.240 lot to hold to myself. Okay, So I want to 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:11.920 add this. I want to like lump this in for 0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:14.400 you with Christmas Eve, because something hit me when you 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:17.520 said you're gonna be in Christmas Eve by yourself, and 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.680 you know, obviously you and I are openly Christian, and 0:14:20.800 --> 0:14:23.200 we celebrate the birth of Christ on Christmas Day, and 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.280 I feel like, I feel like I just want you 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:29.040 to sink into a moment of and I won't get 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:32.440 too godly here, but like how scared Mary was on 0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:38.480 Christmas Eve and how she knew her life was changing, 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.760 and how the next day there was a birth of 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:47.600 something that changed the world. And it doesn't obviously obviously 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:51.440 you're not Mary Um and obviously you all know that 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:55.520 one like any other comments about that, but there is 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.800 something that is changing. So I would just encourage you 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:02.280 to sink into, like, Okay, the fact that you get 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:06.960 a silent night is actually kind of redemptive and a 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:09.800 little symbolic to me. I think it's gonna be good 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:11.920 for you to just sit in it, and maybe you 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.600 maybe this Christmas just feels different because you just get 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.000 to soak into what is what is being born out 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:22.360 of you and what you are kind of celebrating, and 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:25.880 obviously the King, but there's just a lot of symbolic, 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:28.560 wonderful little things in there that's pretty poetic to me, 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.480 and in that you're a new chapter of being protective 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:38.520 of said gentleman. I just really can't get enough. Um, 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:43.240 I was privileged enough to face time in and see 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:46.880 that dapper gentleman earlier in the week. I want to 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:53.840 let everybody he is rather handsome and very polite and wonderful. 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:59.480 As Jannah just gulps water because she has nothing to comment. Um, 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:03.760 you need in for something, Cramer, but you are just 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:08.040 really like what a wonderful way to close out your year. 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:12.840 Mm hmm, Like look at your growth And this isn't 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.400 me fan girling, this is like me just like as 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:17.080 a friend. I mean, I just think of like the 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.320 depths of where you started the year and how you 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:22.680 you're even your relationships with men over the year, and 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:25.600 now you're going to fly home. You you took a 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:29.000 huge leap first of all, to fly too, like nine 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:32.200 hours away, to get to know someone better and give 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:35.000 it a real chance and not live in a fantasy 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:36.800 of what it could be because it could be the 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:40.040 holiday movie. But you got there like boots on the ground, 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.080 like let's see, do I like you do? You chew 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.120 with your mouth open, like can I even deal? With this, 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:49.280 and now you get back and you get to you know, 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:52.400 decompress and process on your way home, and you get 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:55.400 to come home to a cozy house and just really 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:59.440 reflect on a silent night and just all the things 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:01.640 you've done for yourself, and it's probably your last chance 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:03.560 alone for the rest of the year. Let's be real 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.760 with each other. So I'm just really proud of you. 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.120 But yes, this is a really fun new chapter. Thank 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:25.359 you again. Like you've always said, these trips are not 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:28.080 about even in the summer when I was doing whatever, 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:32.560 it's this is I'm finding pieces of me along the way, 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:36.600 you know, and getting whole more whole every second. And 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.800 I truly like I was. I was telling my friend 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:43.920 um Rachel the other day, it's just like, my my 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:47.439 greatest thing is the lessons in the hard times, like 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:51.320 what I learned in missteps, and you know, there's things 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.040 that I that I've said wrong or done wrong. It's like, okay, 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:56.359 like there's there's lessons in all of this, and I 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:58.119 think that's just been Like the coolest thing is to 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:01.080 like I you can you just keep learning, you keep growing, 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:04.000 you keep finding out who you are and and bettering 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:07.720 yourself and and again, you know, just boundering up real 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:09.800 hard and what I want and not settling and just 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:12.199 being happy because God, life is so short and I 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:13.880 just want to have fun and I want to explore 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:17.159 and I don't want to live just anxiety written right, 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:20.439 because I feel like for the last thirty years of 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:23.200 my life, I've always held myself back from like doing 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:26.119 things because I was so afraid that something was going 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:28.520 to happen or I would get are just something. And like, 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:30.639 I'm so sick of living my life like this. And 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:32.160 it's like I feel like this is my first step 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:34.000 to go okay, Like I'm not going to hold myself 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:38.200 back from exploring my heart, exploring who I am and 0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:40.560 and having fun along the way. And I think you've 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:43.320 gotten good and really protective too with like who you 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.119 surround yourself with. Like one thing you and I have 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:50.080 in common is we have a tendency to over explain. 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:54.480 We have a tendency to overshare um. And I feel 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:59.639 like we've meet up hum. I feel like we have 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:03.679 done really good job this year. But one of the 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:06.440 things I think is most important about what you've done 0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:08.600 this year is you've really kind of cut out the 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:12.800 noise and friendships too, Like, not everybody needs an opinion 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:16.040 on everything you've done. Queendom has been quiet, but not 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:19.960 because of Queendom has been has been quiet of other 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:22.840 of of things not involving my love life. It's been 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:24.920 other things. Use is just all the like that because 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:26.919 I would want opinions. It's like now it's just not 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.400 even about I don't like queen them in as much 0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:32.640 to that. Yeah, and I think that's good, Like we're 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:35.000 here to all laugh about stuff and make good jokes 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:38.960 and like, but ultimately in life, Like I hope people 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:40.879 listening to this. This is one thing I hope people 0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:44.239 take for their New year is really surround yourself with 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:46.880 people that just do not have judgment of what you're 0:19:46.960 --> 0:19:49.520 up to, can fully support you, can call you out 0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:51.400 sometimes and be like, hey, I don't really like love 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.919 this for you, or this makes me nervous, but I 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:59.000 think that there's And mostly I say this just because 0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:02.639 whenever I'm on podcast and you and people when we 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:04.280 talk about queendom, people are like, oh, I wish I 0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:07.000 had to queendom, and I'm like, but you will. You 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:08.960 just have to really start to get picky, like it 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:13.120 matters to not have it matters with who. You don't 0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:15.000 be so desperate to have a friend that you just 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:18.399 pick anybody. It's the same thing in love, like have 0:20:18.640 --> 0:20:20.639 the people that can really just walk it out with you. 0:20:20.760 --> 0:20:25.159 I mean, this life is so tiny and it is 0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:29.359 so quick. And I just was talking to Kelly Rizzo 0:20:29.440 --> 0:20:33.040 actually yesterday mobsag wife because she's coming up on I've 0:20:33.040 --> 0:20:34.760 been thinking of her a lot. She's coming up on 0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:38.399 her first like three six without Bob. So I just 0:20:38.400 --> 0:20:40.239 reached out and he's like, you know, I love you, 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:44.159 and I've just been thinking of you. And it's like, 0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:46.879 think about where her life was a year ago, m 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:50.520 h A year ago she was celebrating Christmas slash Hanka 0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:54.720 with Bob, and this year she's in Chicago and she's 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:56.800 tucked in and she's and I'm saying all this because 0:20:56.800 --> 0:20:58.720 she's posting about it too, so I'm not like sharing 0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:03.400 her business. But like things change so quickly that we 0:21:03.480 --> 0:21:06.640 have to just like really love who we're with, like 0:21:06.760 --> 0:21:14.080 your friendships, relationships like fly to London, meet yourself, meet strangers, 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:17.040 Like let's like really start to like live this life 0:21:17.080 --> 0:21:19.040 a little bit. You and I get so trapped in 0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:22.480 our anxiety and our what ifs, and like I mean, 0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:24.840 there's a lot of things that aren't going to make sense, 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:26.439 and then there's just a lot of things that like 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:28.320 we'll figure out the lesson ten years from now or 0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:30.800 maybe never. I love that and I think that's a 0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:33.080