Speaker 1: Nicky Gazer. Yes, here's Nicky. Hello, welcome to Nicki Glazer Podcast.
Speaker 1: It's Nicki Glazer. It's Thursday. UM, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening and watching on our YouTube channel. You can
Speaker 1: find a link to that, you know, at Nicki Glazer
Speaker 1: Pod on Instagram. It's the link is in our bio.
Speaker 1: I overheard no, uh um this morning you were on
Speaker 1: Zoom with Andrew and Mark our kind of technical creative
Speaker 1: producer producer. UM love him Mark and uh, you guys
Speaker 1: were talking about the YouTube comments and I was putting
Speaker 1: my dube on my on my comforter wrestling with your dube.
Speaker 1: I mean, I told Andrew, I go tell them I'm
Speaker 1: putting my duvet on so I'll be there in two days. Um.
Speaker 1: So yes, I was get I was getting some cardio
Speaker 1: in before the show, and UM, I heard you saying
Speaker 1: that you've been You said, you know, UM, I'm really surprised,
Speaker 1: like the YouTube comments are actually really really nice, you know,
Speaker 1: aside from some of the spam. And I didn't hear
Speaker 1: you say spam. I just thought like, besides aside from
Speaker 1: and then I was like, I think I kind of
Speaker 1: went like like I kind of think I your muffs
Speaker 1: so I wouldn't hear. And then you guys are like
Speaker 1: elaborating on the spam and how you're working to like
Speaker 1: get those comments removed or whatever. But I feel like
Speaker 1: even spam is positive. You know, it was like free
Speaker 1: sex or something like that, so oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: positive too. It's sex positive. UM. I'm grateful that the
Speaker 1: comments have mostly been nice. I'm definitely not reading them,
Speaker 1: but I was thinking, like it might be fun to
Speaker 1: um try to make art videos the most positively UH
Speaker 1: commented on videos on YouTube, Like I think we might
Speaker 1: be able to do it, Like I think that if
Speaker 1: I asked my fans, I think and honestly, I think
Speaker 1: it might be good for people people's souls. I don't
Speaker 1: want you to say anything that isn't true. So like
Speaker 1: if all you can say is, um, I like the
Speaker 1: mask the dog behind you is wearing UH in the shot,
Speaker 1: or I like that shirt or what are like you
Speaker 1: have arms? Like you can literally go right, you have
Speaker 1: arms and with an ext like three exclamation marks, that's
Speaker 1: that will be. I just want to bombard the comments
Speaker 1: with positivity and I and not because I mean, let
Speaker 1: me just say it is it is double sided. Here,
Speaker 1: like or it's um many levels to this. I wanted
Speaker 1: because I want people to say nice things about even
Speaker 1: though I'm not going to read them, because I'm just
Speaker 1: scared that people might say something mean, like you might
Speaker 1: have an adjective about my arms, and even if it's
Speaker 1: a good adjective, it might not be the one I want,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, So, like you look. A
Speaker 1: lot of people say I look jacked a lot of times,
Speaker 1: which I take as a huge compliment because I don't
Speaker 1: do fucking anything for my arms. So if anything like,
Speaker 1: I'll get back. Let me put a pin in that
Speaker 1: thought for a second, because I do have a good
Speaker 1: point about that, and we'll return to it. But I want.
Speaker 1: I think that when you write something positive, and like
Speaker 1: I was saying the other day, when you do a
Speaker 1: positive like a service for someone else outside of yourself
Speaker 1: and just spread positivity, it comes back to you. And
Speaker 1: I know that's just like, so if you spread cheer,
Speaker 1: it will come back, like we all know that, but
Speaker 1: maybe this will help you, or like, honestly, don't even
Speaker 1: write it online, like let's just go on YouTube under
Speaker 1: accounts and like write positive things that and spell them
Speaker 1: right too. So we don't. So we you know, like
Speaker 1: does YouTube. It's not of spell check? Is that what's
Speaker 1: going on there with why people just can't It's just
Speaker 1: YouTube comments are notoriously like the dumbest things you read, right,
Speaker 1: people are just like smashing their keyboard and pressing answer.
Speaker 1: You know it's keyboard cat like doing this on the
Speaker 1: keys um, which is my favorite way of saying of
Speaker 1: laughing on text is like just typing a bunch of
Speaker 1: nonsense and sometimes it auto corrects to like words. But
Speaker 1: you know, that's I think the best way to be
Speaker 1: like I'm laughing really hard. Um. And I've been doing
Speaker 1: that since you know a I M days of like
Speaker 1: ha ha, I would do ha ha. I never did
Speaker 1: l O L. That was like after my time on
Speaker 1: a I M. Like l O L came later, um,
Speaker 1: but I was always doing hot and then I would
Speaker 1: just go if it was really really funny, which is
Speaker 1: harder to do with you know, autocart. These days, we
Speaker 1: start go back to being positive because I don't know
Speaker 1: if you saw ed my Let's post from a couple
Speaker 1: of days ago about that, Oh my god, I love
Speaker 1: ed my let. I know, well, I started following him
Speaker 1: after you were on his podcast because I just obsessed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's he's he's very positive and like, uh so anyway,
Speaker 1: so so I don't know if you saw, but he wrote,
Speaker 1: um something about that you can't force anyone to do anything,
Speaker 1: but you can owe it. But you can repel negativity
Speaker 1: away from your life. Misery loves company, and if you
Speaker 1: create enough positive energy around you, it will become almost
Speaker 1: like a force field. Then the negative people in your
Speaker 1: life have two options. And then if you want me
Speaker 1: to either get positive or get out, Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: it is. Like. It's either you'll repel the negative people
Speaker 1: away by your positive energy, which I've experienced, or um,
Speaker 1: they'll they'll want to borrow some and it'll rub off
Speaker 1: on your friends. They'll they'll they'll want what you have.
Speaker 1: You know. That's a thing in in you know, recovery
Speaker 1: programs of you know, when you're trying when you see
Speaker 1: someone struggling with a thing that you've been able to
Speaker 1: get recovery from. Um, you know, it's it's it's lead
Speaker 1: by like lead, don't I forget? Like the they have
Speaker 1: some kind of like rhyming you know, uh little quote
Speaker 1: like meme thing that they say. There's so many like
Speaker 1: good quotes and you know, uh recovery program stuff like
Speaker 1: little things that I don't ever remember because I'm bad
Speaker 1: at remembering quotes, but basically never tells you can't tell
Speaker 1: someone to get help, or like you can't go like
Speaker 1: you should do this, like should are someone said something
Speaker 1: that your shoulders hurt, and like you, you your shoulders
Speaker 1: get tight when your way down by should It's like
Speaker 1: shoulders have the words should in them. So whenever my
Speaker 1: shoulders like, oh I'm telling myself I should too much,
Speaker 1: I kind of like that. Um and it sounds like
Speaker 1: the way Andrew would pronounce shoulders if he was reading
Speaker 1: it shoulders. Um. So no, but like you, it's so
Speaker 1: when you first get like recovered from let's say, you know,
Speaker 1: when I quit drinking, or when I quit starving myself
Speaker 1: and exercising, uh to lose weight, or you know, just
Speaker 1: you know, harmful things. I UM, I wanted to save everyone.
Speaker 1: I wanted to be like you should do this, read
Speaker 1: this book, do this, and now with like the Alan
Speaker 1: Car stuff I have, you know, the not smoke, the
Speaker 1: not Smoking book and the Creating Drinking book. I've I
Speaker 1: used to do that a lot and there's still a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff out there that is me saying like
Speaker 1: I wish like you should do this, and me buying
Speaker 1: the book for people before they ask, and now it's
Speaker 1: I just say, hey, if you are interested in stopping that,
Speaker 1: I will totally talk to you about it, but like,
Speaker 1: come to me, no judgment, and like you can come
Speaker 1: to me because you know, especially in people close to
Speaker 1: our lives. I'm talking about my fans. I've I used
Speaker 1: to kind of be a little bit like more prostlytizing
Speaker 1: about things, and now I feel like, um, if you
Speaker 1: just you want, you want people to want what you have,
Speaker 1: you know, And I think that that's kind of what
Speaker 1: led me to feel like I could maybe recover from
Speaker 1: these things, is that I surrounded myself and put myself
Speaker 1: in the same rooms as people that were struggling, um
Speaker 1: with similar things as me. Not like exactly the same,
Speaker 1: It's never gonna be exactly the same, but man, you
Speaker 1: you would just hear stories. And you know, there are
Speaker 1: podcasts available to people that are scared of going in
Speaker 1: certain groups that you know you've heard about recovery groups.
Speaker 1: There's podcasts of what those kind of groups sound like
Speaker 1: that you can access um, without having to go. And
Speaker 1: there's also like zoom ones that you can go to
Speaker 1: and you don't have to turn on your camera and
Speaker 1: a lot of them or even introduce yourself even if
Speaker 1: they say, hey, anyone new, introduce yourself. That's the beauty
Speaker 1: of kind of recovery stuff is that they know that
Speaker 1: the reason people are addicts is because they feel uh
Speaker 1: pressure and like not good enough. And so the best
Speaker 1: part about kind of recovery programs, and I think like
Speaker 1: everyone that I've encountered, whether it's in like a twelve
Speaker 1: step thing or not, is that it's just so forgiving,
Speaker 1: Like you can just go and be anything and they'll
Speaker 1: accept you. And if you go and you're like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to talk, and they're like anyone who's new?
Speaker 1: Do you want to talk? And they know you're new,
Speaker 1: and they're looking at you like do you want to talk?
Speaker 1: And you just sit there and you don't talk. It's fine,
Speaker 1: Like no one makes you do anything you don't want
Speaker 1: to do when you're looking for help in these places.
Speaker 1: And I just want to say that, but um, is
Speaker 1: it free? Yeah? Yeah? You know, um, Like uh so
Speaker 1: you know, I don't you generally talk about the specifics
Speaker 1: around how I kind of found freedom from my body
Speaker 1: image obsession and binge eating and starving myself and over
Speaker 1: exercising and all those things that I am absinent from,
Speaker 1: you know, and that I you know, maybe not forever,
Speaker 1: who knows. I'm it's you know, I'm only one day
Speaker 1: at a time. That kind of thing. I think that's
Speaker 1: one of their Uh, I mean, I know that's one
Speaker 1: of their sayings. But UM, I do know that it
Speaker 1: is free. UM if you think what I what I
Speaker 1: can say is my own experience and this is what
Speaker 1: you learn is like only speak from an eye place.
Speaker 1: And that's the best part about these kinds of places
Speaker 1: is that no one's gonna give you advice, no one
Speaker 1: like you go in. Um, from what I hear, you
Speaker 1: can go in UM from what I understand from their literature,
Speaker 1: it's a place where you can go and share your
Speaker 1: story and be anonymous and trust that no one's gonna
Speaker 1: judge you. And you know what we can't help. You're like, well,
Speaker 1: i'd judge people, I'd go in there. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: I've I've been in those places before, been in I
Speaker 1: used to go to group therapy with my abusive therapists.
Speaker 1: She used to make us all all of her clients
Speaker 1: used to go together once a week and get together,
Speaker 1: which is kind of nice because we would take the
Speaker 1: elevator down after a session and just go. She little,
Speaker 1: and it was just not it was like suddenly, this
Speaker 1: the only child syndrome, you know of, like when you're
Speaker 1: an only child, the problem being an only child. I
Speaker 1: totally support parents who just have one child. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I would have been fine as an only child.
Speaker 1: I always say, though, that the benefit of a sibling
Speaker 1: is having someone else to go our mom and dad
Speaker 1: kind of sucking batshit crazy, or like don't they sucks?
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's having someone to commiserate with. UM. But I've
Speaker 1: learned that the best way to get people in your
Speaker 1: life who you desperately want to um get to be
Speaker 1: as happy as possible is to not tell them about
Speaker 1: what you've done and what you know, uh, tell them
Speaker 1: what they should do and that, oh my god, if
Speaker 1: you know you could do this. It's just to say,
Speaker 1: in my experience, when I have felt so in so way,
Speaker 1: I did this and this is what happened. So you know, UM,
Speaker 1: if anyone I know, I'm talking very vaguely, but I
Speaker 1: always extend um uh the offer that if anyone ever
Speaker 1: wants to know what I did to conquer my but
Speaker 1: not conquer, but to cope and be really so much
Speaker 1: better than I ever have been in UM since I
Speaker 1: got a needing disorder in two thousand two, UM, I've
Speaker 1: had I've had an eedsorder for that long, off and on,
Speaker 1: like not even off and on, just always just different
Speaker 1: forms of it. And for the past year and a half,
Speaker 1: I have been UM not completely free of food obsession
Speaker 1: and body obsession and all those things. It comes up,
Speaker 1: but then it's it's it's basically like, Okay, yes, sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm in detention, but I used to be in prison.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I have to stay after school and
Speaker 1: write on the chalkboard, but I used to be in
Speaker 1: solitary confinement for a life sentence. So that's the difference.
Speaker 1: You know, It's not I'm not totally out of the woods,
Speaker 1: but it's just changed everything. UM. And if you're interested,
Speaker 1: I always extend the uh, like the offer to d
Speaker 1: M me on Instagram, and let me just say that
Speaker 1: a lot of times I I don't see those because
Speaker 1: I get a lot of message requests, but and I
Speaker 1: can't always right back a lot. But if you want
Speaker 1: to know how I got how I've been a year
Speaker 1: and a half without starving myself or binging or over exercising. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm always happy to tell you how, um in a
Speaker 1: private chat, but I want you to ask me. I
Speaker 1: don't want to have to just tell you. And in
Speaker 1: the Alan carrbook, I just want to say that got
Speaker 1: me to quick drinking. Um, that's always something that I
Speaker 1: just go. I always tell people just have it on
Speaker 1: yourself so that when you're ready, you can just pick
Speaker 1: it up if you just feel like you're Like I
Speaker 1: just knew at some point I wanted to quit drinking.
Speaker 1: It wasn't today, it wasn't tomorrow, it was next week.
Speaker 1: I just knew that my long term goals was to
Speaker 1: be someone who didn't drink, And so I just bought
Speaker 1: the book because I knew the smoking book worked for
Speaker 1: me so well. So I mean, what's what's what's the
Speaker 1: fear if you want to be an onn smoker eventually
Speaker 1: or you want to be a non drinker, which, by
Speaker 1: the way, you used to be a non drinker. You
Speaker 1: used to be an onn s oker Like some people
Speaker 1: just go No, I'm a smoker. That's just like who
Speaker 1: I am before you had a cigarette where you a smoker?
Speaker 1: Were you like thinking about smoking all the time and
Speaker 1: craving it? No, you can go back to that. That
Speaker 1: is up in you. You know, it's just it's all
Speaker 1: you only are addicted to smoking because you did it once.
Speaker 1: But you can go back to that because you were before.
Speaker 1: You used to be someone who didn't drink. And yes, um,
Speaker 1: alcoholism is a disease and it's in us, but you
Speaker 1: can For me, it wasn't so much a disease as
Speaker 1: it was. Um Uh. I had to just change the
Speaker 1: way I thought about drinking and I was able to
Speaker 1: release myself from it, eating stuff not as not as
Speaker 1: easy for me. And so you know, everyone falls into
Speaker 1: different categories. But the thing I was going to say
Speaker 1: about my arms being jacked, let's get back to that. Um,
Speaker 1: because I have my dad's body, I have a dad
Speaker 1: bought and stop easy laughed so much. Please will you
Speaker 1: remind me of that because I want to add that
Speaker 1: to my act because I truly have my dad's body,
Speaker 1: like and I'm so proud. I'm proud to say that
Speaker 1: because my dad, I mean I posted on my Instagram
Speaker 1: story yesterday a picture of my dad in the water
Speaker 1: with my uh brother in law and my brother law
Speaker 1: took itself with my dad's in the background. My dad
Speaker 1: is so thit and honestly doesn't do much. He's just
Speaker 1: a naturally fit guy. And so I know that if
Speaker 1: I just you know, continue on the track, I'm going like,
Speaker 1: I I don't know, no, like I always Do you
Speaker 1: have a body type for yourself in mind that is
Speaker 1: like your body or like, do you like can I
Speaker 1: ask you about your body right now? Sure? Do you
Speaker 1: do you like your body the way it is right now? Like?
Speaker 1: Are you is this where you like to be? I'm
Speaker 1: okay with it, Okay. I wish I could be like
Speaker 1: in a little bit of better shape, but I don't
Speaker 1: hate my body. Okay. That's so when you are in
Speaker 1: like if your ideal your ideal look for your body,
Speaker 1: like imagine like your idea, like what you could look like?
Speaker 1: Is it within is it within reach? Like or is
Speaker 1: it um a body that you're like you know, or
Speaker 1: is it someone who's taller or like has uh bigger
Speaker 1: boobs or like things you can't actually do without surgery?
Speaker 1: Is it within reach when you think of like your
Speaker 1: ideal figure. Okay, well, um, I think it is within reach,
Speaker 1: but it will be a lot of work because I
Speaker 1: I really love women who are like a little bit
Speaker 1: more tone and like muscular and that it's so it's
Speaker 1: so hard for me to build muscle and stuff, but
Speaker 1: I wish I could. But it is within Like you're
Speaker 1: not imagining uh, longer legs or yeah, bigger hips, smaller
Speaker 1: waist or anything like that is over the bigger boobs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: over things that are not attainable without surgery. Yeah, yes, um,
Speaker 1: because I think that I always wanted things what what
Speaker 1: would that were unattainable? And yeah, I know there's surgery
Speaker 1: and I could That's the problem is that there's always
Speaker 1: something that you could do to to change to get
Speaker 1: whatever you want, you know, uh, within within reason, but
Speaker 1: within with taking surgery out of the equation. Like I
Speaker 1: I always thought, because I got interacts, I get to
Speaker 1: when I was eighteen, and I was always a really
Speaker 1: skinny child, like never felt like weird about it, but
Speaker 1: always very skinny, never worried about I was always like
Speaker 1: this is gonna be forever. Like I know that I
Speaker 1: was smart enough to know that skinny equals by what
Speaker 1: I was observing. Let me just say that, by what
Speaker 1: I was observing from the way my mom talked to
Speaker 1: herself in the mirror, skinny equals good. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I have nothing to worry about. Then um, high school
Speaker 1: hit and I stopped working, I stopped doing sports, and
Speaker 1: I started having more emotions. And didn't have any drugs too.
Speaker 1: I didn't know about rugs yet or drinking, and so
Speaker 1: I started just eating and got heavy. And for me,
Speaker 1: for my build, I got heavy, did not feel comfortable
Speaker 1: in my own skin, and then I got intorectic, and
Speaker 1: then that it just went from heavy to antarectic. I
Speaker 1: never knew what my body was as an adult, like
Speaker 1: what I was meant to be ever, because I was
Speaker 1: barely in the you know, I got my period. I
Speaker 1: was like on the brink of seventeen. Like, uh, by
Speaker 1: the time I got I was a woman. I was
Speaker 1: starving myself. So I just never knew. And I look
Speaker 1: at my dad sometimes and I or my aunt Lynn
Speaker 1: and the way their bodies looked as adults around my age,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, we're just natural. We are naturally sinewy,
Speaker 1: kind of lanky people and that is. You know, that's
Speaker 1: just the way I am. And a lot of times
Speaker 1: I have a lot of shame if I look too
Speaker 1: thin in pictures, all right, look like I look like
Speaker 1: Mr Bones, you know, like I look. I freak out
Speaker 1: because I go, oh my god, you look intorectic. Everyone's
Speaker 1: gonna be worried for you. And then I start to
Speaker 1: like hate myself for that. Then if I gain three pounds,
Speaker 1: I start to panic that I'm going the other way
Speaker 1: of this girl that I hated in in high school
Speaker 1: because I just felt out of control, you know. Um.
Speaker 1: But now people will say things like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're so jacked, and I always go, listen, it's Sally
Speaker 1: Hanson spray, like when I spray my legs or I
Speaker 1: spray my arms with Sally Hanson spray. I'm not joking you.
Speaker 1: It's it's a it's a game. It's a complete game
Speaker 1: changer of the amount of compliments and how much hotter
Speaker 1: quote unquote I look right. Um, But when people say
Speaker 1: I'm jacked, it's funny because Kirsten is a trainer, right,
Speaker 1: and she knows all about the body. She knows that
Speaker 1: I don't do jack squat for my arms. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm a runner, and I will run four miles uh
Speaker 1: at this point once every two weeks. But I'm not
Speaker 1: doing anything for my arms other than you know, carrying
Speaker 1: groceries a block once a week. I don't know. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying like, oh my god, I'm just not
Speaker 1: truly like have muscles. But the truth is I do.
Speaker 1: Like it's just my dad's body and I I I
Speaker 1: ex so when people say, oh my god, you're so jacked,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, it's natural. I used to hate
Speaker 1: girls that would be like I'm just naturally thin, and
Speaker 1: but I am, and that's that's okay. And you know what,
Speaker 1: I also have, like there's things about myself that I
Speaker 1: I that aren't by society standard uh good like uh
Speaker 1: something like um aesthetically perfect or whatever. Like I have
Speaker 1: bags under my eyes a lot of times, I have
Speaker 1: puffy eyes, or I have like I just see this
Speaker 1: thing sometimes where I see like I have too much
Speaker 1: skin between my eye, Like my face seems to be
Speaker 1: falling off my skeleton. Sometimes I'm not I'm not gonna okay,
Speaker 1: but guess what that is just who I am. I
Speaker 1: just with the same way that I accept the good
Speaker 1: thing that I'm happy I have the jack arms. I also,
Speaker 1: I can't help that my arm just and I go,
Speaker 1: I can't help it. And it's just like that's the
Speaker 1: way I am. But why don't I have that attitude
Speaker 1: about things I hate? I can't help it. It's just
Speaker 1: the way I am. Why with the things that are
Speaker 1: a part of my body, that are just the way
Speaker 1: I was born. I was born without a fucking ass.
Speaker 1: I was born with a flat ass. It's I know
Speaker 1: that I could change it with a lot of work.
Speaker 1: I don't have the time. It's not gonna happen for me,
Speaker 1: all right. So why when I have a flat ass?
Speaker 1: Do I feel guilty about it? Do I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm failing in some way? But with my arms, I'm
Speaker 1: just like, it's just the way I am. Why can't
Speaker 1: I have that same attitude for everything? And someone wrote
Speaker 1: to me recently and said that my little advice one
Speaker 1: time of saying that when I look in the mirror
Speaker 1: and I feel, um like, let's just use the word
Speaker 1: disgusting if I'm being If I'm having a bad day,
Speaker 1: right and I looked in the mirror and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: gross or whatever. Something I don't like about my body,
Speaker 1: I said, I said one time on the podcast, and
Speaker 1: I say this all the time to myself. I God
Speaker 1: wants me to be this way today. I have to
Speaker 1: be this way today. I don't have a choice. It
Speaker 1: wasn't my choice. It's like we talked so much about choices.
Speaker 1: I see so many things that Instagram stories or motivational
Speaker 1: things about the choices you make in life. You are
Speaker 1: not making choices you. The choices you make are based
Speaker 1: on your brain structure, which you don't control. You don't
Speaker 1: get to figure out. You don't get to pick what
Speaker 1: your brain is doing. They are based on the nurture
Speaker 1: you got from your parents. You didn't get to choose
Speaker 1: your parents. So it's it's something else. It's not you,
Speaker 1: So stop feeling the blame for it, you know. So
Speaker 1: if you the next time you look in the mirror,
Speaker 1: and I have to say this to myself today too,
Speaker 1: because I was looking tired a f and I put
Speaker 1: pink guyliner underneath my eyes to just distract. I wanted
Speaker 1: something else there besides bags, so that I you know,
Speaker 1: if you go, oh my god, she looks tired, you're
Speaker 1: also be like, what the FUNX she has? Pink eyes too,
Speaker 1: and then it's like, oh, I chose the pink guys,
Speaker 1: so like you can't be mad at me about it.
Speaker 1: It's like something I chose. But also I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't know what I'm getting at. But someone wrote to
Speaker 1: me and said that the fact that I one time
Speaker 1: said that, like God wants me to be let's say fat,
Speaker 1: I said, God wants me to be fat today if
Speaker 1: I'm feeling fat, and I'm having a negative connotation about that,
Speaker 1: which you shouldn't, but if you, let's say you do God,
Speaker 1: whatever the universe, I this is what I'm meant to
Speaker 1: be today, and let me just get through today being
Speaker 1: like this. It doesn't have to be the way I
Speaker 1: am tomorrow, but it's the way I am today. Just
Speaker 1: fucking accepted. And you're supposed to be that way today.
Speaker 1: Everything was leading for you to be this way and
Speaker 1: not the way that of the girl on Instagram that
Speaker 1: you wish you looked like, they wanted her to be
Speaker 1: that way today. And guess what, she's not looking that
Speaker 1: way today. She has a lot of filters and she
Speaker 1: just you know, look at her tub. It's warped. Um.
Speaker 1: She definitely you know body tuned to that. I hope
Speaker 1: this helps someone, it helps me. Thank you for letting
Speaker 1: me go on you know, body image spiel. And let's
Speaker 1: get to more funny stuff. Let's bring in and what up? What?
Speaker 1: I feel like you're just doing Alligator Boy now like
Speaker 1: we've lost Island Boy. How does island boy go? Is? No,
Speaker 1: that's alligator boy? Man boy man, I knew no get
Speaker 1: a good reaction starting sunglasses today? Why are you going sunglasses?
Speaker 1: I mean I should have gone sunglasses. No. I just
Speaker 1: feel like it's you know, I've the people have already
Speaker 1: seen what my eyes look like on this video. It's fine.
Speaker 1: I put some more pink eyeliner underneath. I thought the
Speaker 1: old can canker eyes. No canker. The cankers are coming back,
Speaker 1: by the way, what dude, It's just like I gotta
Speaker 1: get more sleep. Yeah, I just I don't want to
Speaker 1: go to bed early because that's the only time. That's
Speaker 1: when my day is done and I want to hang out.
Speaker 1: And last night I usually got a bet around one
Speaker 1: like I fall a sleep around one gotten bed at
Speaker 1: midnight and I was supposed to wake up at us
Speaker 1: to have a call with my book lady. Um the
Speaker 1: woman I'm writing a book with at nine o'clock and
Speaker 1: I was I had a homework assignment that she was like, right,
Speaker 1: this story, that's like the easiest thing to do. And
Speaker 1: I was gonna wake up at seven and do it,
Speaker 1: just like I didn't high school college right before it's
Speaker 1: do And um, I woke up at and my throat
Speaker 1: hurt so bad, and I was just like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I of all the things that I can cancel today,
Speaker 1: this is the only one that I actually is not
Speaker 1: necessary and isn't you know, costing a lot of money
Speaker 1: and people depending on me. And so I wrote her
Speaker 1: and I was like, I feel sick and I can't
Speaker 1: do it today. I'm so sorry, and it was true.
Speaker 1: I just couldn't do it. I'm just I got too
Speaker 1: much going on. And I just told her, you know,
Speaker 1: I hate canceling, and I'm sorry. I promises a priority,
Speaker 1: but I got a lot going on and this is
Speaker 1: the one. I just was honest. And she was so
Speaker 1: nice about it, and she was like, yeah, this is
Speaker 1: the one thing that like, let's keep kicking this can
Speaker 1: down the road. Who cares? Yeah, I mean it's always
Speaker 1: nice when you direct, Like just today, when I like
Speaker 1: accidentally formatted that card. I was like, and you're so
Speaker 1: cool about it. So when someone's cool about something like that,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh yeah. But then it's like sometimes I
Speaker 1: guess people's worries, like well done, it will happen again,
Speaker 1: she won't do her homework assignment. If I'm not angry,
Speaker 1: you're gonna probably want to do it more next time.
Speaker 1: I think of. Positive reinforcement has been proven to be
Speaker 1: the thing that works more than negative reinforcement, Like being
Speaker 1: punished or screamed at doesn't yield the same results as
Speaker 1: like you know, in dog training anything. They're just like,
Speaker 1: don't punish, just reward and put a cheese it in
Speaker 1: my mouth and say next time, be a good boy.
Speaker 1: The thing about punishment or admonishment is that sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: not doing it to be like, oh this will make
Speaker 1: him never do it again. I'm doing it because I
Speaker 1: have no control over my anger and I'm really mad
Speaker 1: about something else. Source. Yeah, you know, so what happened
Speaker 1: to your uh knocks pop nuts? My nucks um? Today?
Speaker 1: I was trying to unscrew um my steamer um and
Speaker 1: the hand like it was just it just screw. You know,
Speaker 1: my hands get dry. This could be from digging in
Speaker 1: my purse. Like my knuckles just will drag on something
Speaker 1: very lightly and start bleeding like crazy. So yeah, I got.
Speaker 1: I got into a fight with a steamer with Stanley.
Speaker 1: I love steamers. I would have burned myself if I
Speaker 1: had to steam my hair, I would be I look
Speaker 1: like Freddy Krueger my hair. Oh I meant steam your hair.
Speaker 1: I would make it so frizzy. Yeah, I actually didn't
Speaker 1: mean that, but I didn't mean just using anything hot.
Speaker 1: Steamers are so dangerous. People don't understand because it just
Speaker 1: looks like like beautiful miss Yeah, but it is. It
Speaker 1: will burn you so freaking fast there. I feel like
Speaker 1: they're much more dangerous and quicker than an iron. No,
Speaker 1: but um yes, because irons unless you have an ironing
Speaker 1: board already set up, and it's usually like and then
Speaker 1: you got to go under the thing, or if then
Speaker 1: you forget that it was on ten minutes before you
Speaker 1: put it on, and it has no water in it,
Speaker 1: so then you have to put the water and it
Speaker 1: goes it's spitting everywhere, and then sometimes the iron like
Speaker 1: starts leaking on your shirt, like the water comes out
Speaker 1: too much because you over field on the steam. The
Speaker 1: steam shoots water some Yeah those are mauthfunctioning ones. That's
Speaker 1: when you know you got to replace it. You're supposed
Speaker 1: to use distilled water. Why because it clogs up like
Speaker 1: the chlorine and stuff like. Yeah, cruelty free water. Um,
Speaker 1: women have to like you go from the heating. You
Speaker 1: have to deal with heat so much as a woman. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your hair on, are you over ease? Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1: We've been there with heat way more than guys in
Speaker 1: the kitchen, in your hair, on the clothes, on your ovaries.
Speaker 1: I mean it's everywhere. Yeah, we take the heat a lot,
Speaker 1: can take the heat a lot. We uh yeah. Do
Speaker 1: you do you iron clothes or steam? I? Steam? I
Speaker 1: don't have an iron, just the steamer. Do you have
Speaker 1: like a little travel one or you have like a
Speaker 1: big one? Um? I have one that an ex gave
Speaker 1: me for like my birthday. Oh a boyfriend steamer? Who
Speaker 1: is it like baggy and like varsity numbers on it? Um? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Does know does ever use it? Does he sense that
Speaker 1: you have? Like have you ever used it on his
Speaker 1: own clothes? And we barely use it. We just dry
Speaker 1: our clothes and just fold them while they're hot and
Speaker 1: that keeps that's so responsible? Or do I have a
Speaker 1: steamers that I've never once taken the clothes out on
Speaker 1: time unless I'm floating in another load. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? My clothes are wrinkly as fun. And that's
Speaker 1: why I love a steamer, is that you just have
Speaker 1: I have a hangar in my in my bathroom that
Speaker 1: stays there, and then I have the steamer already hooked up,
Speaker 1: so I just turned it on and it's like, within
Speaker 1: a minute, I'm getting I'm getting steamed. A dryer should
Speaker 1: for some for I think someone like us should have
Speaker 1: a snooze button where you're like, Okay, I waited too long,
Speaker 1: it's wrinkled. I need another ten in there. Do you
Speaker 1: know that? I know there's a quick dry, but no,
Speaker 1: there's a quick there's a steamer button that is it's
Speaker 1: twenty minutes and it kind of injects steam so it
Speaker 1: makes it wet again and then it dry. Yeah we do.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I didn't never notice. I'm glad we brought
Speaker 1: this up. That's amazing. Yeah, you hit it. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just gonna steam. I was actually just gonna
Speaker 1: steem my duvet because it is so wrinkly and just
Speaker 1: like a nice flat white or not why it's it's pink,
Speaker 1: but like a nice duvet. And the brand that I love,
Speaker 1: by the way, is All's Well for sheets and betting
Speaker 1: All's Well, it's all swell, all swell. Yeah as well,
Speaker 1: it's so good. I really recommend them. I use that
Speaker 1: duvet and they have the little ties in in the
Speaker 1: corners that you tie it onto your thing, and I
Speaker 1: just put it on and I think I'm gonna steam it, um,
Speaker 1: because how long do you think start to finish? You
Speaker 1: finished less seven minutes long Duve Olympics. I bet you
Speaker 1: there would kill it. I used to maricondo all my
Speaker 1: clothes that folding pattern. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: My older brother can fold like a like a fucking boss.
Speaker 1: Because you worked at Bloomingdale. He does like that. We
Speaker 1: lifts up the middle and it's just like, yeah, if
Speaker 1: you worked in retail, you can fold anything. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was maricondoing um for a while, which is you put
Speaker 1: you fold everything so that it it's like uh, and
Speaker 1: then you you can stack it. They all stack upright. Um, No,
Speaker 1: you fold once and then give me that sweatshirt over there,
Speaker 1: I'll show you had a condo. Okay, so I I
Speaker 1: believe if I remember correctly, you fold it like that
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna do wait, and then you do
Speaker 1: one half. So it's different for everyone. But what you
Speaker 1: want to end up with is like a little taco
Speaker 1: of a shirt. So you fold it so that they'll
Speaker 1: have to watch the video for this, you guys, and
Speaker 1: if if not, just look up Marie Condol folding method
Speaker 1: and you would take that. Wait, so this one, I
Speaker 1: would actually do this because it doesn't have long enough
Speaker 1: and you do that. Wait, hold on, really this and
Speaker 1: then this and then that would be like that, and
Speaker 1: then in your drawer and they would all be stacked
Speaker 1: like this, so when you open the drawer you can
Speaker 1: see it perfectly like this. And you can do that
Speaker 1: with pants, tank tops, underwear, socks. Everything did become Did
Speaker 1: she get on like Oprah or something? I think her
Speaker 1: method is just really good and the way she writes
Speaker 1: is very beautiful. Like I, I was totally sold on
Speaker 1: the book when I wade. Did you ever read it? No? No,
Speaker 1: I got into condo right before I met you. I
Speaker 1: think in two thou seventeen. I started condoing. But I'm
Speaker 1: out of it now. Now I just throw. I I
Speaker 1: do a method that I used to see Amy Shumer do,
Speaker 1: which I always used to um place a lot of
Speaker 1: perfection onto her in terms of like she she just
Speaker 1: was the first friend of mine that like had her
Speaker 1: own apartment in Manhattan and like just had things going on,
Speaker 1: would have like check sling around for like I remember
Speaker 1: seeing a check for like thirty thou dollars one time
Speaker 1: on her table and I was just like, what is
Speaker 1: that money? And why would you? Like she was just
Speaker 1: killing it and like a woman, you know, And she
Speaker 1: had this apartment that smelled so good and like, you know,
Speaker 1: it was just it was a cool, little like lower
Speaker 1: level whatever. And I remember I was just like, God,
Speaker 1: she has it so together. But the one time I
Speaker 1: opened her closet, her like drawers, and it was just
Speaker 1: all of these clothes like thrown in like no folding,
Speaker 1: just all a mess. They're all clean, but she would
Speaker 1: just dig through it and then she would steam it.
Speaker 1: And it was like but she had it all in
Speaker 1: there so no one could see it. It was a
Speaker 1: mess in there, but it was all like you know,
Speaker 1: long sleeve shirts. Nothing was folded, just a mess short
Speaker 1: sleeve shirts, nothing folded, all mess and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you can just do that and that that's fine because
Speaker 1: sometimes when I fold stuff, I can't. I have to
Speaker 1: go through it and then it gets messed up anyway.
Speaker 1: I don't understand people that can just that's the Marie
Speaker 1: Kondo method. That's why it works because we're looking for things.
Speaker 1: You can see everything at the top. You don't have
Speaker 1: to dig around when you stack things you unfold, it's
Speaker 1: like you suck it all up. What I what I
Speaker 1: do is I'll fold it and then i won't have
Speaker 1: room in my drawer, so I'll push it all in
Speaker 1: and while I'm pushing it in, it unfolds and become
Speaker 1: shitty anyways, So it's like what are we doing? But
Speaker 1: I mean it really is exactly who we are. I mean,
Speaker 1: unfolded shirt inside a nice dresser, you know. I mean
Speaker 1: mine is a little bit more apparent on the outside,
Speaker 1: but like we all are like like that's more us.
Speaker 1: It is, like, look, I try to be more organized
Speaker 1: at times, and I really do want to be an
Speaker 1: organized person. I think a about it. It's not your fault,
Speaker 1: you know, you're not choosing to be disorganized because you
Speaker 1: want to be dirty and bad like we all would
Speaker 1: like to be, and you just go, well, why don't
Speaker 1: you just put an extra effort and put away that
Speaker 1: spoon after you use it? But it's like it doesn't
Speaker 1: occur to me. If it occur to me, I would
Speaker 1: or it does and it scares me. I don't know
Speaker 1: what the funds wrong in my brain. But the thing
Speaker 1: that you told me that one time where the housewife
Speaker 1: lady said, if you're going to just throw it on
Speaker 1: the floor, then you're gonna have to pick it up
Speaker 1: off the floor, you're just adding, yes, that was a
Speaker 1: good thing I think about. Still Okay, so what is
Speaker 1: it again because I forgot that. Essentially, it's if you're
Speaker 1: just gonna like, it's gonna take you the same amount
Speaker 1: of time that you just put something up on like
Speaker 1: the dresser, than just to put it away in the drawer.
Speaker 1: Now you're just adding another step and adding if you
Speaker 1: just drop it on the floor because you don't want
Speaker 1: to hang it up, you're gonna actually have to pick
Speaker 1: that up. Or yeah, so just do it now. I
Speaker 1: used my therapist to say, if it takes under three
Speaker 1: minutes to it, that's everything. Yeah, that's the anything about
Speaker 1: all of this ship doesn't take long, and then you
Speaker 1: learn it and then you forget it. I get overwhelmed
Speaker 1: by how much stuff I have, and then when I
Speaker 1: start going through it, and then I go, you know,
Speaker 1: yesterday I had this bottle in my like all my
Speaker 1: toilet trees, and it was like this vitamin that I
Speaker 1: used to take, and I'm like, what, I don't take
Speaker 1: that anymore? Why is that siliar? Because there's one vitamin
Speaker 1: left in it? And I go, should I take it
Speaker 1: even though I don't take this anymore? Or should I
Speaker 1: just keep it in case I take it? I just
Speaker 1: know I was so proud of myself. I threw the
Speaker 1: pill away with the bottle. I said, I don't need
Speaker 1: any of this, goodbye. I had to make a choice
Speaker 1: and it was hard for me to do because there
Speaker 1: was still one left, and that used to be that's
Speaker 1: very expensive vitamins. I'm like, should I donate it? Who's
Speaker 1: going to eat have one of these? Oh? I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the story of my life of having protein on
Speaker 1: top of the refrigerator. Every guy and woman at this point,
Speaker 1: yes has a protein jar on top of the refrigerator
Speaker 1: that it is probably three mold three point is turned
Speaker 1: into its own. Person went through our refrigerator and was
Speaker 1: just like when I was doing recycling one time, and
Speaker 1: she's like, can we just go really quick through the refrigerator.
Speaker 1: I'm like, please, don't. I don't want to look at
Speaker 1: that stuff. I don't want to have to deal with it.
Speaker 1: And she'd started pulling things out and I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: that took two seconds, and the refrigerator is so much
Speaker 1: better looking. Yeah, I thought it was gonna stay there
Speaker 1: for it. I thought that was the refrigerator now, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like it does feel like I just I kind
Speaker 1: of hold my breath when I opened the refrigerator. And
Speaker 1: when my dad is the same my dad. You know,
Speaker 1: I think a big reason why he got remarried is
Speaker 1: because he couldn't clean like after himself. Like his if
Speaker 1: if you saw his office, this is a doctor with
Speaker 1: all cancer like papers everywhere, cancer papers everywhere. And then
Speaker 1: you get to the house. He had like one die
Speaker 1: pepsi and he'd have a pizza box with like half
Speaker 1: you know, just four pieces of cruss still in there.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the one vitamin. It's like, why
Speaker 1: is that even in there? Well? The vitamin doesn't like
Speaker 1: attract roaches and like buck, yeah, they're not healthy. There's
Speaker 1: this is the thing. It's like, there's a way, there's
Speaker 1: a way to have a trash space or a messy
Speaker 1: space that is not disrespecting yourself. Like everyone, I always
Speaker 1: look at my room and as an extension of like
Speaker 1: how I'm doing mentally, And I don't need to do
Speaker 1: that because a lot of times I'll be like, you're
Speaker 1: a failure, like you're messy, Like this is who you
Speaker 1: are is your room or this your car, and the
Speaker 1: cleanliness is who you are. However, if my car has
Speaker 1: like like wet food like things that are just gross,
Speaker 1: that's me not respecting my Like that's me actually, Like
Speaker 1: you know, when I clean up for other people, it's
Speaker 1: like why do I respect people more than myself? Why
Speaker 1: do I want to a nice space for it? Do
Speaker 1: you respect them? Or do you respect don't want them
Speaker 1: to judge. I want them to think and I also
Speaker 1: know that they don't live like this, and I don't
Speaker 1: want them to think that. Um yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: them to judge me left it just dirty? I don't
Speaker 1: I do not really ty a little bit though. That
Speaker 1: gets me because that's the way I wanted to look anyway,
Speaker 1: and I and I know that I want to show
Speaker 1: my mom respect, like she's coming over. Like that's the
Speaker 1: same way I like dress up for shows, Like I
Speaker 1: could just wear jeans and a T shirt and everyone
Speaker 1: be fine. That photo you posted on Instagram where we're
Speaker 1: both wearing the same button, like we've both come so
Speaker 1: far fast. I wouldn't have dressed like that at Caroline's
Speaker 1: ever the way I'm dressing now, But like, I want
Speaker 1: to dress to show that people are spending a hundred
Speaker 1: dollars for a ticket to me for me. I want
Speaker 1: to show that I put in effort. So my mom,
Speaker 1: I wanted to show her like you're coming over, Like
Speaker 1: I know you're coming over, and I'm excited. Here's what
Speaker 1: I have to present. Um. But I really have let
Speaker 1: go of what my room looks like when I have
Speaker 1: like guys in it or you know, all those guys
Speaker 1: and the g B comes by. No, it's just like
Speaker 1: on my nightstand. Does not mean I'm a bad person.
Speaker 1: If you can clean your room like you do your asshole,
Speaker 1: you would be. I mean the time I spend on
Speaker 1: my ass all, that's so true. I need a room, douche.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news. Like a room up for
Speaker 1: your dude. I just locked room up in my bathroom
Speaker 1: because he was just trying to get away with like
Speaker 1: not tiding enough. And I go, you finished the job.
Speaker 1: He's stuck in my bathroom and shut the door and
Speaker 1: I turn off the light. What dark by himself? Just
Speaker 1: it really is sad. I didn't mean to turn off
Speaker 1: the light, but then I was going to turn it
Speaker 1: back on, and I was like, what, room doesn't need
Speaker 1: a light, but I do it as sentient heat. Oh,
Speaker 1: he's definitely complaining. He's but butter buttering up against buttering,
Speaker 1: like hitting the ramp. But he did. He had not
Speaker 1: cleaned up everything. I said, room, But you stay in
Speaker 1: there and you finished the job. You're not leaving your
Speaker 1: room until you get it done. Let's get to the news.
Speaker 1: Hopefully you learned the lesson through this very negative affirm affirmination.
Speaker 1: What's the words? We definitely heard affirmination for the first time.
Speaker 1: Oh man, it is Thursday, so you all know what
Speaker 1: that means. It is Thursday. We have a great day
Speaker 1: coming up or tomorrow. We're going to Milwaukee and Indianapolis.
Speaker 1: Milwaukee talkie. I've never been to Milwaukee. Oh, it's it's awesome.
Speaker 1: It's kind of reminds you of St. Louisa. It's just
Speaker 1: like I love Milwaukee. I love a small city. I
Speaker 1: love the Midwest. This is a little Midwest run Milwaukee
Speaker 1: in the Indianapolis. Tickets still available. I believe having all
Speaker 1: the swells out there on the Roadma okay. First story.
Speaker 1: When it comes to his three daughters, Joe Rogan says
Speaker 1: he's taught taking an active role in their knowledge of
Speaker 1: self defense. My kids, he's quote unquote, my kids are
Speaker 1: allowed to hit me as hard as they can. I
Speaker 1: teach them. They're taking martial art classes, but I teach
Speaker 1: them it hurts. I went from being a kid who
Speaker 1: was terrified of conflict of being a martial arts champion.
Speaker 1: The reason why I became a martial arts champion is
Speaker 1: I was being picked on all the time. I was like,
Speaker 1: I do not like this, So I'm going to become
Speaker 1: what I am terrified of. Well, what do you mean
Speaker 1: He's going to become a bully? You know that doesn't
Speaker 1: really know that he wants to become the people that
Speaker 1: he's scared of that are picking on him. I guess
Speaker 1: or at least become as tough or tough. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: he thinks he's so weak, and like the thing he's
Speaker 1: scared of is probably fighting, and he wants to be
Speaker 1: able to do it. Yeah, able running into the cables
Speaker 1: to handle confrontation. Ah, confrontation, that's probably what he's scared of.
Speaker 1: It is funny to handle confrontation with a leg kick.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh what, oh my reports and on time
Speaker 1: confrontation is so terrifying. People that are good at it,
Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, and people that are good at
Speaker 1: it are oftentimes like bullies. And people to be good
Speaker 1: at it, I think is to do it, uh in
Speaker 1: the best way, but like or to do it thoughtfully
Speaker 1: and like think about it before you do it. People
Speaker 1: that you know just snapped a confrontation and not usually
Speaker 1: the people I admire. There's say, there's a way to
Speaker 1: do it where I'm not good at it? I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean they're a wild boy. Like I got it
Speaker 1: the other day when we were late for the airport.
Speaker 1: When we were at the airport and there were people
Speaker 1: in front of us and we were going to be
Speaker 1: late for the plane, asked those people in front of us,
Speaker 1: Andrew stepped up and asked the people in front of
Speaker 1: us when we were checking our bags because we were
Speaker 1: running late, if we could go in front of them
Speaker 1: because we were running late, which is a very very
Speaker 1: few people are able to do that. I did it
Speaker 1: attacked and like, yeah, it was very nice the way
Speaker 1: he did it. Old man, look at me again, motherfucker,
Speaker 1: look at me. And they were so nice even though
Speaker 1: you said that to them, because they were hard of
Speaker 1: hearing and they were they were just like, oh, sure,
Speaker 1: we're here early, and you were, you know, like you
Speaker 1: probably assessed them at first. They're an older couple. They
Speaker 1: didn't seem frantic or like nervous, so it didn't look
Speaker 1: like they were in a hurry we were. And I
Speaker 1: I really admired that because it, um, it's not easy
Speaker 1: to do, and when you're running late for the airport,
Speaker 1: you just feel so foolish and you feel like so
Speaker 1: annoying and like frazzled, and to like beg people to
Speaker 1: let you go in front of you at the line,
Speaker 1: it should be a lot easier than that. We should
Speaker 1: just know as a as as people that you let
Speaker 1: people ahead. If that guy was an at like if
Speaker 1: he turned around, goes, no, I'm we're actually kind of
Speaker 1: late to I don't know what I like. That's when
Speaker 1: I get that's when it doesn't work out, you know,
Speaker 1: That's where I would step yea, honestly, if he was,
Speaker 1: He goes, you should have gotten here early. We were.
Speaker 1: This is just the way it is. I would have gone.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been late for anything in your life? Sir?
Speaker 1: Have you ever have the events in your life never
Speaker 1: lead you, based on whether you were negligent or not,
Speaker 1: led you to be late? And you wish someone would
Speaker 1: have extended this to you? Have you never? Has that
Speaker 1: never happened? That's what I would have said, where were
Speaker 1: you thirty years ago? I wish someone would have done
Speaker 1: that for you, sir? And guess what you can do
Speaker 1: that for me today? Have you let us go in
Speaker 1: front of you like that? The initial one is scary
Speaker 1: to me, but once someone has given me reason to
Speaker 1: be confronational, I'll get in there. And I don't love it,
Speaker 1: but that's when I also respect to the old person.
Speaker 1: Two uh, that has patience and I know that or
Speaker 1: was that sign or occur? No? Seinfeld when he's at
Speaker 1: He's like, how are you not thinking? About your death
Speaker 1: every day. They also did a thing where, um, they
Speaker 1: realized Jerry's parents were shoplifting, and she was just like,
Speaker 1: I'm old you like my way out kind of thing.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean it was very nice, but yeah,
Speaker 1: there is a way to like, there's a way people
Speaker 1: do conflict where they don't raise their voice. They raise
Speaker 1: their voice just enough where if you go, why are
Speaker 1: you yelling, like I'm not yelling? Remember, yeah, go ahead,
Speaker 1: go ahead, you go, okay, stopping so confrontational. There's a
Speaker 1: there's a way I feel which I would love to
Speaker 1: achieve and learn how to be more assertive verse aggressive
Speaker 1: and assertive. This is going into something like at full height, calm,
Speaker 1: having confidence and just you know, being able to settle
Speaker 1: the situation in like a very diplomatic manner. And then
Speaker 1: there's aggressive where it's like very emotional right, or it's
Speaker 1: there's the i'm sorry, I'm so sorry, like cowering before
Speaker 1: you even ask, I'm really sorry to bother you with this.
Speaker 1: And then when the person doesn't say it's okay, and
Speaker 1: you say sorry, fuck you, honestly hate that fuck you.
Speaker 1: I dealt with this woman that was at the in
Speaker 1: the lobby of this hotel and I had to store
Speaker 1: my bags in this closet because I had to go
Speaker 1: run and get lunch and my car was you know,
Speaker 1: I I didn't have a hotel room anymore. We checked out,
Speaker 1: which is standard procedure at any hotel. Store the bags,
Speaker 1: and I had to get something out of my bag.
Speaker 1: She is in a lobby, there's no one checking in
Speaker 1: it is, there's nothing that's going on, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I forgot there's something in one of
Speaker 1: my bags that I have to grab. Can I get
Speaker 1: in there real quick and just grab it? And she
Speaker 1: just grabs the key and just starts walking towards the closet,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, I'm so sorry, thank you nothing nothing.
Speaker 1: I'm in there digging around. I know what's in here.
Speaker 1: Two seconds. So sorry. So I'm so like, just me
Speaker 1: just begging for her to say it's okay, nothing, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Finally get it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Thank you nothing wild wild. I mean,
Speaker 1: I could not believe it. I think it's so rude.
Speaker 1: And you know, why do I need that? Because I
Speaker 1: just because I did feel bad there. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: I didn't feel that she she has her own ship
Speaker 1: obviously going on, and we could say that right, yes, um,
Speaker 1: for sure, you know she sees you. Was she older? No, No,
Speaker 1: she just wasn't she was She was probably having a
Speaker 1: bad day and she probably didn't care for my like
Speaker 1: she probably Um, you know some of these some women
Speaker 1: out there, like never say sorry, don't ever say I'm sorry. Women,
Speaker 1: all we do is apologize. Stop saying sorry. It's like
Speaker 1: she might be one of those girls. That's like when
Speaker 1: she hears a woman say it, she's just like so
Speaker 1: disappointed and how I'm a bad feminist because I apologize.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm not apologizing for my existence. I'm apologizing
Speaker 1: because I want you to like me because my mom
Speaker 1: drank a lot. Yeah, I'm sorry that, Like I'm working
Speaker 1: on myself. I don't want stop this whole thing of
Speaker 1: like women never say sorry, stop your week. If you
Speaker 1: say sorry, especially in business, never apologize, It's like fuck you.
Speaker 1: But what if you turned it around and instead of saying, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, so sorry, like at the end, you
Speaker 1: just said thank you so much for your time or
Speaker 1: just thanks for going out of the way I say
Speaker 1: instead of sorry, But I just don't think it shows
Speaker 1: as much because what if they have assertive What what if?
Speaker 1: But what if you can't thank someone until they've given
Speaker 1: it to you. So if I'm going up to say
Speaker 1: I have to get into my bag, may I please
Speaker 1: get back in that closet? Um I could say I
Speaker 1: would really appreciate your patients while I dig through this bag,
Speaker 1: that's just so much. I just rather say sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: really sorry. I exist. Well. I think there's a there's
Speaker 1: like a way to do for me when I hear assertiveness,
Speaker 1: it's like nails on a chalkboard for me when like
Speaker 1: someone like let's say you're late to your flight and
Speaker 1: you go up to the take a counter and this
Speaker 1: assertive dad goten top and he goes, look my family. Okay,
Speaker 1: exactly all right, so let me look my family. You
Speaker 1: are responding to aggressiveness. No, but I think people think
Speaker 1: that dessertive when when someone's taking charge of the situation,
Speaker 1: and sometimes people listen. It's like when you talk like
Speaker 1: this and you pause and you think everyone's waiting for
Speaker 1: your for your magical thought. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just think people anyone that thinks they're more important
Speaker 1: than they are just annoys me. Yeah, and so like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like I'm pretty damn good
Speaker 1: when I go up to a ticket counter and handle
Speaker 1: like a situation like that, where like you don't have
Speaker 1: to be like I, I'm in control. I know that
Speaker 1: being mean to people at ticket counters and being a
Speaker 1: bitch and like being aggressive does not get them to
Speaker 1: give you what you want. What does is being kind
Speaker 1: and understanding that their job fucking sucks and that they
Speaker 1: don't owe you anything and that they can maybe do
Speaker 1: you a favor. And you know, it's it's not yelling
Speaker 1: at Someone's never going to get you what you want.
Speaker 1: I've never seen it work. Any Karen who's yelling and
Speaker 1: being filmed has she ever gotten what she wants? It
Speaker 1: just you know, I understand why it happens, because you
Speaker 1: get so embarrassed by your kind of anger in their
Speaker 1: response to it, and they make you feel crazy, and
Speaker 1: so you get even more mad because you just are
Speaker 1: trying to I'm not I'm shouldn't be embarrassed. I'm angry,
Speaker 1: like and it's like I'm panicking. Why are you not panicking?
Speaker 1: It's like because I'm not getting on a flight. I
Speaker 1: don't like my job. I'm driving home in like four hours.
Speaker 1: We were behind a desk and like making you know,
Speaker 1: you did great the other day when our car, our
Speaker 1: rental car wasn't there on time. You like ended up
Speaker 1: becoming friends with everyone in there. Oh yeah, they will.
Speaker 1: They recognize me, so that always takes it down and
Speaker 1: not they didn't recognize me. They just go because I
Speaker 1: have my guitar, They're like, you play music, and I go,
Speaker 1: it's just a hobby. And they're like, what's your Instagram?
Speaker 1: Do you do your music on Instagram? And I was
Speaker 1: like no, and they're like what's your And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm a comedian, Like I think I volunteered because I
Speaker 1: was trying to get a little bit of like they
Speaker 1: fucking at this rental car place, they don't I go.
Speaker 1: They even admitted, they go, we're not paid enough to
Speaker 1: like honestly to work hard. And I'm like, I'm with you.
Speaker 1: I go, that's the problem with our world is like
Speaker 1: I don't blame you guys like for the for they go.
Speaker 1: The guys washing the cars out there don't even they
Speaker 1: make nothing. They make minimum wage to wash cars and
Speaker 1: they're supposed to get through three in an hour. They
Speaker 1: don't because they're they're not there. They could if it's
Speaker 1: not this job, they could go get this job anyway,
Speaker 1: Like there's always a job that will pay this much.
Speaker 1: This one is just one of them, so they have
Speaker 1: no incentive to actually do the work. I go, do
Speaker 1: they get tips? They go. They don't ever interact with customers,
Speaker 1: so they have no chance to get tips. And we're
Speaker 1: dependent on those cars. So we get through people and
Speaker 1: we promise cars that are supposed to be done, and
Speaker 1: they we can't get them to work harder because they
Speaker 1: don't make enough. And I go, I don't blame them,
Speaker 1: and they don't blame them either, and I was just
Speaker 1: like and then um yeah. And then they looked me
Speaker 1: up on Instagram. And the funny thing is the guy goes,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I've watched you, like he talked to
Speaker 1: me for a really long time before he realized that
Speaker 1: I was the girl in the black dress with the
Speaker 1: lightning bolt on it. That he walks my degenerate special
Speaker 1: just because of the dress. The power of dressing sexy.
Speaker 1: It gets people to watch you and then not remember
Speaker 1: that dress. I flew that dress. I forgot it. That's
Speaker 1: right at twelve pm. That was okay, it looked great
Speaker 1: and that's sorry. That is like fire. Thanks man, you
Speaker 1: helped me ddit it too. It was so good. Um okay,
Speaker 1: let me think. And you were there for the taping.
Speaker 1: You're the only one there were about that. Everyone seemed
Speaker 1: on edge. I guess people are nervous. We were like
Speaker 1: in a green room in a tent outside and it
Speaker 1: was in Vegas, and it was like a weird setting.
Speaker 1: It was like a you know, the degenerates, like you
Speaker 1: gotta be dirty, Like they didn't have us hang out
Speaker 1: with each other. We were kind of just like a
Speaker 1: weird group of comics that didn't really know each other.
Speaker 1: We all had like blankets because we were freezing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was. It was a weird night. H um Olivia Newton.
Speaker 1: John admits that physical lyrics were raunchy for nineteen Physical Physical.
Speaker 1: Everyone knows the chorus, but you want to know what
Speaker 1: the first verse? Yeah, I'm saying all the things that
Speaker 1: I know you'll like making good conversation. I gotta handle
Speaker 1: you just right, you know what I mean. I took
Speaker 1: you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie.
Speaker 1: It sounds like a guy who was written for a guy.
Speaker 1: There's nothing left to talk about unless it's horizontally, and
Speaker 1: then the second verses even is more creepy. I've been patient,
Speaker 1: I've been good. I tried to keep my hands on
Speaker 1: the table. It's getting hard, this holding back. If you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, I'm sure you'll understand my point
Speaker 1: of view. We know each other mentally. You've got to
Speaker 1: know that you're bringing out the animal and me. I
Speaker 1: love it, but it definitely was written for a man
Speaker 1: to saying, yeah, I feel yeah. I think it was
Speaker 1: the first hard part too. I'm getting hard. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: the hard like being difficult, Like God, he got so
Speaker 1: difficult the other night. No, I think he's saying, is
Speaker 1: Dick's hard? I mean, it's on Tandra, but it's definitely
Speaker 1: tried to keep my hand on the table. It's getting hard.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, exactly. You really think that they said it's
Speaker 1: hard explicitly in the song and it's Olivia Newton John
Speaker 1: Sandy from Greece. What that for a woman to sing?
Speaker 1: If that's what they meant explicit I was so excited
Speaker 1: about it. Oh my god, that's funny. Well, the lyrics
Speaker 1: to the ones I heard recently that I started really
Speaker 1: listening to girl. I want to make you sweat, sweat
Speaker 1: so you can't sweat no more. And when you cry out,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna push it some or what And when you
Speaker 1: cry out, I'm gonna push it, push it some more. Elementary?
Speaker 1: We did? We did? We did. We talked about this
Speaker 1: in the car on the way, you know, we talked
Speaker 1: about here on the podcast. Oh we did. Okay, Sorry
Speaker 1: I brought up in the car. I'm gonna grab a knife,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stabbing. I'm so into that song. I'm horny
Speaker 1: for that song. It's like one of my favorite songs. Now,
Speaker 1: what are some other songs that are like very sexual
Speaker 1: that you're like, whoa that gets me juiced up? Um?
Speaker 1: What's the one where I think you're on the counter?
Speaker 1: It wasn't me. Yeah, that's about like infidelity and gas lighting. Uh.
Speaker 1: But I'm trying to think of ones that I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: the song is good, uh, like in terms of like
Speaker 1: explicit explicit lyrics. But I'm trying to think of songs
Speaker 1: that like make me like horny. You know what's horny? U? Uh?
Speaker 1: Bell Biv de Vaux had some horny songs back in
Speaker 1: the day you were doing you were singing that the
Speaker 1: people that sing that song, you know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then r Kelly unfortunately you know whatever happened though,
Speaker 1: But my body is telling me no, no, no, my
Speaker 1: my brain is my heart is telling me no. But
Speaker 1: my body, my body's telling me yes. I don't see
Speaker 1: nothing wrong. But is there anything that you listen to
Speaker 1: that you go, oh my god, that's so hot. But
Speaker 1: probably when a woman sings, I would guess like any
Speaker 1: woman singing about Eva Brothers has a song called I
Speaker 1: Wish I was and it's it's not sexual. Yeah, m
Speaker 1: I wish I had a wet vagina. It's weird saying
Speaker 1: John wrote it for herself. Yeah, but she aged out
Speaker 1: of it. Apparently, let's get a physical physical go over
Speaker 1: and step on the scale and try to be thinner.
Speaker 1: Then you're gonna have that thing hit your knee. It's
Speaker 1: gonna test your reflexes about smoking and drinking. That's the
Speaker 1: song about getting a physical I love that song You
Speaker 1: got a cough when I grab your ball skin, Yeah
Speaker 1: I have. I should make up corny songs and shared
Speaker 1: on Spotify first, because there are there are definitely songs
Speaker 1: that I just am like so juiced up for which
Speaker 1: one I can't even I can look at myself. We
Speaker 1: gotta go take a break. Let's come back and let
Speaker 1: people know what I'm to stop for. Alright. So, um,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get to uh, you know, our sports moment.
Speaker 1: But I just want to share a song that I
Speaker 1: might be a little bit horned up for, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go with I just have to look at my
Speaker 1: um oh god, um solo Frank Ocean, hand me a
Speaker 1: twent dirty dancing by myself going off tabs that acid
Speaker 1: a circle, watch my jagger. Can't lose my jacket and
Speaker 1: hit it so low one time, I'm too loud in public. Okay.
Speaker 1: So it gets to the part where it's like he
Speaker 1: just wants to he's alone and he wants to hook
Speaker 1: up with this girl, and like, just oh, really he's gay.
Speaker 1: I thought he was by Oh well, I'm picturing him
Speaker 1: talking to me during this song, so just let him
Speaker 1: talking to me. That one's that's the first one that
Speaker 1: came up on my list, And I'm like, I that
Speaker 1: song is sexy. Yes, um, you know, uh New Lights
Speaker 1: John Mayer that can sometimes be a little bit sexy.
Speaker 1: Back seat of my jeep. L O cool j M.
Speaker 1: I hooked up to that in the back of my car.
Speaker 1: It was pretty on the nose, but it worked. Oh
Speaker 1: e t by Katy Perry and Kanye West. Kiss me,
Speaker 1: kiss me, infect me with your love, and fill me
Speaker 1: with your poyson to me, I want to be a
Speaker 1: victim ready for affection. Uh, tonight, let's be lovers? No,
Speaker 1: thank you, come on, just give it a chance. You
Speaker 1: know what, A guy ruined that song for me by
Speaker 1: putting it on a playlist for me of like his
Speaker 1: love for being And now I'm so like disenchanted by
Speaker 1: that person that I'm like, fuck you ruined lover laid
Speaker 1: Down for me. That's a different song though. Wait, what
Speaker 1: did you say Let's be lovers? Oh? Oh, please do
Speaker 1: not say goodbye? Sorry? Okay, lover Laydown, Yeah, lover Laydown
Speaker 1: is nice. But yeah, let's get to the sports moment.
Speaker 1: Tears Andrew's weekly sports moment. Man, I was gaming not
Speaker 1: oh man, Okay, this is um a story that I
Speaker 1: don't know if you'll like, but we'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: Aaron Rodgers who you know? I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: him personally, but I know Melaney's and he's buried to
Speaker 1: Shaley Woodley. Yes, and he has a brother, Jordan Rodgers,
Speaker 1: who is a bachelor, and they no longer talk because
Speaker 1: of probably religious reasons. Yeah, slams Aaron Rodgers slam ms
Speaker 1: woke canceled culture after criticism over postgame trash talk on
Speaker 1: a hot mic. He got caught on a mic apparently
Speaker 1: he threw a touchdown or the game ended, and this
Speaker 1: lady in the crowd was giving him double birds. And
Speaker 1: he goes and he's playing Chicago and Green Bay Chicago
Speaker 1: big rivalry, they're very close to each other. I own you.
Speaker 1: I fucking own you, Chicago, I fucking own you. And
Speaker 1: people are making a big deal of I guess using
Speaker 1: the term own. I guess. I mean it's you know, stop,
Speaker 1: I mean, what's she a black woman? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know about that. That could be. That could
Speaker 1: And if he said it right to her face, no, no,
Speaker 1: well you're saying it like in the term of I
Speaker 1: owned Chicago, and Tom Brady actually wrote it's nice to
Speaker 1: find out that you're a shareholder now and like he
Speaker 1: made a joke of it. But Rogers was asked about it,
Speaker 1: and he talks about canceled culture. He says, and there's
Speaker 1: a camp still culture at the same time. He goes,
Speaker 1: there's a PC woke culture that exists, and there's a
Speaker 1: cancel culture at the same time. And it's based on
Speaker 1: people's own feelings of maybe personal misery or distaste for
Speaker 1: their own situations or life, or just the enjoyment of
Speaker 1: holding other people down underneath that. He really owned that sentence. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: He's absolutely right. When you engage in this culture, you're
Speaker 1: immersed in it, and you're in it so much. For me,
Speaker 1: when I took time and the immersed, immersed, immersed, immersed,
Speaker 1: I think you said, imersed in it. Oh no, I
Speaker 1: just didn't hit them, okay, immersed, Okay, this sentence is
Speaker 1: interesting for me. I think you'll like, he goes. For me,
Speaker 1: when I took time in the obvious sason to work
Speaker 1: on myself and to work on my mental status and
Speaker 1: to get myself in the right frame of mind, I
Speaker 1: was being selfish or non responsive, selfish and entitled. When
Speaker 1: I came back and said what I said, the same
Speaker 1: sentiments were shared. So yeah, I mean, well, I know
Speaker 1: I like that sentence. Why did you because is because
Speaker 1: the media. Really like, if he's not responding because he's
Speaker 1: working on his own mental health, you're being selfish to
Speaker 1: take care of yourself. But if you had cancer and
Speaker 1: he's like, hey, I gotta take these three months off,
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with chemo. Everyone be like your hero battle it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: please don't let us bug you. Yeah, no one would
Speaker 1: call you see that. You saw the ted Lasso finale, right, yes,
Speaker 1: I mean it's all about you know. This whole second
Speaker 1: season is about ted Lasso the coach um having a
Speaker 1: panic attack and getting help for his mental stress, and
Speaker 1: then someone close to him feeling like you abandoned me
Speaker 1: because you're working on yourself, Like I didn't you, You
Speaker 1: weren't there for me because you just disappeared when really
Speaker 1: he was working on himself. So it's a very it's
Speaker 1: almost exactly the same situation of like, now there's this
Speaker 1: backlash against him, um from someone who used to love
Speaker 1: him on on the show because he worked on himself
Speaker 1: and um, god, I loved ted Lasso, and things like
Speaker 1: an Aaron Rodgers saying stuff like this, because it's gonna
Speaker 1: be very exciting when this when we see the results
Speaker 1: of men who have never even thought about taking care
Speaker 1: of their mental health, starting to embrace it and almost
Speaker 1: think it's like, oh, that's what athletes do, Like I'm
Speaker 1: going to do that. Like when we see the results
Speaker 1: of that in the next decade or and on, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be it's gonna be so good for we. We
Speaker 1: we're gonna need it. I think there's something because things
Speaker 1: are getting shittier. I think what will happen is, uh,
Speaker 1: someone will have issues early on and deal with them
Speaker 1: quicker because an athlete does it, rather than our generation
Speaker 1: where we waited till we had a full on mental
Speaker 1: breakdown to be like, oh, I think I need a therapist.
Speaker 1: Hopefully they'll like attack it earlier on, yeah, you don't.
Speaker 1: Hopefully it becomes more norm though, to deal with it
Speaker 1: before it becomes something that you can't deal with. But
Speaker 1: it's so embarrassing to deal with something before where it gets. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like getting a it's literally like getting a cancer
Speaker 1: check up every four months, just in case people go
Speaker 1: you're crazy, like what are you waiting for? Or it's
Speaker 1: me saying, you know, a week ago, Hey, I just
Speaker 1: don't want to do this writer's meeting like that I
Speaker 1: had today because I just I'm tired right now, and
Speaker 1: I just in the future, I might be tired that day,
Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna sleep in that day. That makes
Speaker 1: me feel lazy as opposed to like waiting till the
Speaker 1: last minute and going like I'm looking at my schedule
Speaker 1: and it's just like I can't. Like that gives me
Speaker 1: more authority to ask for a break than if I
Speaker 1: just foresee myself wanting a break, like and I will
Speaker 1: do you want to say? In ted Lasso, there is
Speaker 1: a moment where one of the characters is like presents
Speaker 1: his girlfriend with a six week vacation away and I go,
Speaker 1: what I was watching with my partner and I was
Speaker 1: like six weeks and he was like, yeah, you would
Speaker 1: never do that. I go, No one ever who takes
Speaker 1: six weeks European six weeks. They take two months off
Speaker 1: like it's nothing right in if you're in Europe, but
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure they take they take it insane amount
Speaker 1: of time off. But it was a little bit weird
Speaker 1: because he was like, six weeks, we leave tomorrow, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, she's like, she's back for six weeks in
Speaker 1: one night. I mean, I could do it because I'm
Speaker 1: a quick backer. But like most people, especially this girl,
Speaker 1: she wears a lot of different Bretts in her bun
Speaker 1: and like always has different accessories. That's gonna be a
Speaker 1: lot to pack up for six weeks. I love how
Speaker 1: she handled that conversation. It was I just didn't feel
Speaker 1: it was realistic. You go away for six weeks, I'll
Speaker 1: work on me well. I probably fun Jamie, who knows
Speaker 1: I do love them so much. I think seeing I mean,
Speaker 1: if you don't watch last time, I'm sorry for this
Speaker 1: last I talk. But seeing Roy's uh transformation has given
Speaker 1: me a lot of hope about men in my life.
Speaker 1: And like, I think a lot of men can see
Speaker 1: themselves in Roy Kent and where he's come from and
Speaker 1: how he's now handled conflict and things. This show is
Speaker 1: so good for men who are angry to watch. If
Speaker 1: you are a girl out there and you have a
Speaker 1: man in your life who's angry, it's a sports show
Speaker 1: and it will make them. Just just just make them
Speaker 1: watch it, because they will they will unintentionally learn things
Speaker 1: about them scenes and be like, I just didn't catch that.
Speaker 1: What did you say. There's a joke there, Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: a joke there. I think he just cried and said,
Speaker 1: I need therapy. It's a joke. Funny. Wait, I sort
Speaker 1: of see what sweater she was wearing. It wasn't in
Speaker 1: that scene. Um, okay, let's get to our weekly segment
Speaker 1: that I love so much. We have a lot to
Speaker 1: get through, so let's try to fit it. Fan tracks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: fucking pumps me up. I'm not gonna lie. It makes
Speaker 1: me want to run through a locker. All right, now,
Speaker 1: let's get into it. Run through a locker, hit my
Speaker 1: head on it that, you know, to open it up? Yeah? Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: So our first should I read a voicemail or should
Speaker 1: I play a voicemail? Or ready to Yeah? Okay, here
Speaker 1: comes a voicemail from Emily. Oh my god, all my palette,
Speaker 1: I have hazel eyes. So yeah, I remember I got
Speaker 1: that palette and I did everything that it told me
Speaker 1: to you, and my grandma said, oh wow, you really
Speaker 1: wearing a lot of make up, remember vividly. But I
Speaker 1: knew I loved Tada ship. Thanks for making me remember
Speaker 1: that all my palette. It was the first time I
Speaker 1: had ever heard of like you paint your lid one shade,
Speaker 1: the crease, another shade, and then the bra The company
Speaker 1: is alme. But they made an eye pallet for each
Speaker 1: like whatever color your eyes are to bring out the
Speaker 1: color the best. And so whatever color your eyes where
Speaker 1: you bought that palette and it would teach you like
Speaker 1: put the lid, make it uh brown, then the then
Speaker 1: it's a light then a darker blue in the crease,
Speaker 1: and then a lighter blue on the back like your hair. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's essentially what I make up. But as
Speaker 1: you make the crease, like you have to do different.
Speaker 1: But that was the first time I ever heard of
Speaker 1: like kind of that kind of contouring I guess for
Speaker 1: your eyes. So thanks for I love that she loved
Speaker 1: that reference. Okay, next one is from Chase my Bankkay, Nicky, Hey, Andrew, Hey, No,
Speaker 1: uh love you guys, love pod massive bestie over here. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I just really needed to call in about Subway because
Speaker 1: you guys really brought back like this cursed repressed memory
Speaker 1: when talking about the shredded let, like it really just
Speaker 1: I really blocked this guy out of my memory. Was amazing.
Speaker 1: So I was a senior sandwich artist at Subway for
Speaker 1: about three years in high school. Yes, senior sandwich artist.
Speaker 1: I make a point to say that because there are
Speaker 1: classes involved. She literally anyway. This man would come in
Speaker 1: and order a veggie sub every week, and he just
Speaker 1: was really creepy, like you know, just you know when
Speaker 1: you meet somebody and you're like they might be a pedophile.
Speaker 1: I don't know, like it's just very odd. Jared had
Speaker 1: to go visit many and glittering like thousand yards stare
Speaker 1: and order a veggie sub every week, and the amount
Speaker 1: of shredded let he would get on his sandwich sneaky
Speaker 1: like it was disgusting. He would just look me in
Speaker 1: the eyes every time. I would give him a ton
Speaker 1: because I knew this man would come in every week
Speaker 1: and he would always be more, more, more, That's how
Speaker 1: he would say it, and I was terrified. So I
Speaker 1: just thank you for reminding me of that, and thank
Speaker 1: you for reminding me of humble beginnings and how far
Speaker 1: we've come. And also, don't worry about that shredded let girl.
Speaker 1: I would always rip open another back for him, no hesitation.
Speaker 1: If it was you coming in girl, bags on bags
Speaker 1: of shredded Let this girl love her, this girl of
Speaker 1: you the best listeners. I've loved both of these calls,
Speaker 1: you said randomly, yeah and she just picked it up.
Speaker 1: I want to hear more. I love stories of like
Speaker 1: customers and the weird things, the recurring customers that they
Speaker 1: would order. And I bet someone could call in and
Speaker 1: talk about me at different points in my life and
Speaker 1: the weird because I would go places and they'd just
Speaker 1: be like, all right, get out the lot. Like the
Speaker 1: only difference between that guy and you as you say sorry, yes,
Speaker 1: that's true. More sorry, more sorry more. I read about
Speaker 1: in the Starbucks subreddit so many weird regulars and what
Speaker 1: the regulars always get, and like these people that they
Speaker 1: just see them coming in, they're like, okay, twelve pumps
Speaker 1: of you know, caramel machiato plus a fizzy water and yeah,
Speaker 1: they'll they'll do that. They'll literally do like a splash
Speaker 1: of almond milk, like fifteen pumps of a syrup and
Speaker 1: like a decaf shot. And it's like that's just what
Speaker 1: are you doing? Feel like these people light ice very
Speaker 1: bored people and this is like a highlight of their life.
Speaker 1: That drink is very expensive. Yeah, maybe they're just rich
Speaker 1: people that are just like I just think it's like
Speaker 1: they're one thing that they get to have a little control,
Speaker 1: a little power. Yeahs like, oh, I'm gonna do seventeen today,
Speaker 1: like they like maybe like pace around, like what's my
Speaker 1: order gonna be? Your order has definitely taken a little. Uh,
Speaker 1: you don't look at my order. I didn't know whose
Speaker 1: cup itt was, so I looked at it and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is my drink. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, wait a second, that's slightly different than my drink,
Speaker 1: but very similar. I like what you put in your mouth.
Speaker 1: You asked you the other day if sugar free vanilla
Speaker 1: is good, and you said, why would I get it?
Speaker 1: I go, he goes, is that good? That drinking? That
Speaker 1: sugar you always get it? Is that good? And I go, no,
Speaker 1: it's bad. It was my way of precursing you eventually
Speaker 1: seen that I got it. Precurse you, motherfucker. No, But
Speaker 1: do you understand what I was doing there. I've been
Speaker 1: a little bit because I was saying, oh, it's good.
Speaker 1: So then later when you you that I order it,
Speaker 1: we talked about it as opposed to me just ordering
Speaker 1: it and you go. You can just say I want
Speaker 1: to try that sometimes we say that, or you can
Speaker 1: just get it and just be like Nikki, you're so weird.
Speaker 1: And that's fine too, because I am okay, what's next?
Speaker 1: One is for Andrew from Megan and Leah. Two girls. Hi.
Speaker 1: I'm Megan and I'm Leah, and we are best friends
Speaker 1: in real pod and besties in real life, and we
Speaker 1: just wanted to bring attention really quick to the first
Speaker 1: video on Andrew's YouTube channel, which is a stellar performance
Speaker 1: of a song called Pussy in the Face, and we
Speaker 1: were just wondering if maybe Andrew could perform at one
Speaker 1: time on the pod, and honestly if Nikki could be
Speaker 1: involved in the performance as well. I thank you so
Speaker 1: much for picking this voicemail. We love you guys so much.
Speaker 1: We love you by Oh my god, I love our
Speaker 1: listeners so much. No, do you have this cueue? Up?
Speaker 1: I don't. I thought Andrew was going to sing it. Well,
Speaker 1: I know that he doesn't memorize him but yeah, well
Speaker 1: you know, my lyrics are all repetitive. I could I
Speaker 1: could sing you to songwriting what is this and what's
Speaker 1: the history of it? Like okay, so crapoh, okay, you know, okay,
Speaker 1: it's gonna take I had a comedy partner named Crapo
Speaker 1: who who was a wookie. When I would do one
Speaker 1: liners as Andy Shallows. I didn't even notice was still
Speaker 1: on the internet. I'm not even kidding. I'm very rock
Speaker 1: and roll here, and and I hope you guys hate it.
Speaker 1: In the babe, the pussy in the pussy in the face,
Speaker 1: face pussy puddy fight pussy pussy. That is great. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what is it over? Whenever you told me
Speaker 1: to stop? Okay, So to everyone, don't apologize. That was
Speaker 1: a fun song. It is really fun. Um, what what
Speaker 1: is the story behind that? Okay? So Crappo is a
Speaker 1: good musician. He played slide guitar when we did when
Speaker 1: I would do one liners, and so he had this
Speaker 1: place where he would perform. He had like a little locker,
Speaker 1: you know, a little sworde unit, little storage unit where
Speaker 1: he'd play with his one buddy all the time. So
Speaker 1: I came by there, I know, three chords. Yeah from
Speaker 1: what just dancing pretty hard. We're sitting in our chair. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm out of shape. I think I was rocking pretty hard.
Speaker 1: That's true. Um anyway, So yeah, I just played that.
Speaker 1: I put down a camera, a shitty camera on the
Speaker 1: on the floor, and I those girls brought that up.
Speaker 1: So funny. How the world works it is. I mean
Speaker 1: that you leave a video on your YouTube channel and
Speaker 1: they discovered it. Yeah, it must have come up in
Speaker 1: their algorithm. I mean I had never maybe I'd watched
Speaker 1: that years ago. We've been friends for a while now,
Speaker 1: but um nod. Oh. And then it says Andrew Colin
Speaker 1: my two lane stabbing. So you put your first video
Speaker 1: was nine years ago and then your last video, your
Speaker 1: video after that was six years later. You took a
Speaker 1: leave of absence. What did you're doing that six years?
Speaker 1: I found God, I hung out with Aaron Rodgers and
Speaker 1: the Amazon. I was working on my own mental health Nikki.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the final thought mental health. I really
Speaker 1: do like that. Aaron Rodgers said that thing, and it
Speaker 1: is about like when people want to just like cancel,
Speaker 1: take it away, like just just don't buy his record
Speaker 1: or don't like, don't walk like, but don't buy, don't
Speaker 1: support if you don't if you really don't like this
Speaker 1: person's art anymore because of how you heard they acted,
Speaker 1: don't support it. And if you hate a company for
Speaker 1: giving this person money after they you know, did something bad,
Speaker 1: don't support that company, Like show your you can you
Speaker 1: can purchase, like trying to purchase. Yeah, there you go,
Speaker 1: purchase power. People want people to kill themselves. I think,
Speaker 1: like that's what they want people, and not to kill
Speaker 1: themselves maybe, but they just want they want to ruin
Speaker 1: people's lives. And I've been there before. I've been like
Speaker 1: a woman who has been scorned and wanted to destroy
Speaker 1: a man's life and not like kill, like make him
Speaker 1: want to die, but I've wanted him to feel bad.
Speaker 1: I've wanted the the intent make someone want to suffer. Um,
Speaker 1: even someone who's done you wrong is not the appropriate
Speaker 1: way to feel I believe. Yeah, I think you got
Speaker 1: to pick your battles here. I think if you're going
Speaker 1: after Aaron Rodgers for saying that about the Bears, it's
Speaker 1: like and that's where you're gonna put your time and
Speaker 1: energy into. It's like, there's a lot of other things
Speaker 1: that you should try to be canceling than that. If
Speaker 1: but I also don't. It takes a lot for me
Speaker 1: to think someone should be canceled. I think second chances
Speaker 1: deserved to happen, almost especially if they always get special
Speaker 1: the second chances, and when you've gone out, when you
Speaker 1: put yourself out there being like fucking take them down
Speaker 1: you're gonna be eating crow. Here's the other thing. Aaron
Speaker 1: Rodgers is making a hundred million dollars this year, like
Speaker 1: he's not getting canceled anytime soon. Like like the I
Speaker 1: said though, that there are athletes that you know, the
Speaker 1: um we were talking about the the Houston Astros, is
Speaker 1: that right that got caught cheating by the guy slamming
Speaker 1: down up. That's way worse. So they cheated and got
Speaker 1: caught doing it, and whenever they put something on social media,
Speaker 1: they get bombarded with, you know, people being like you cheaters,
Speaker 1: motherfucker's and everything. So they just they're just like, okay,
Speaker 1: we'll just play baseball. Then we'll just like not be celebrities.
Speaker 1: We'll still we'll collect our millions of dollars. And it's fine.
Speaker 1: Now I can't post a picture of my wife and
Speaker 1: kids with and I wanted to comments, but that's really
Speaker 1: all that's changed. Um. Let me read one more letter
Speaker 1: that I got from a fan this weekend. I believe
Speaker 1: I oh, I think I think I got this in
Speaker 1: um Durham. Dear Nikki, where do I even begin? I
Speaker 1: discovered you in college amongst the lovely group of friends
Speaker 1: who grew up as comedy nerds. Around the time Lockdown hit,
Speaker 1: I totally binged all your content. When you went home
Speaker 1: to your parents, you made it look so fun and relaxing.
Speaker 1: When my lease was up, I felt more okay about
Speaker 1: having to live with my parents. My whole attitude changed.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're a big sister to me. You're
Speaker 1: always so positive, and it's like you encourage me to
Speaker 1: be my best self. Um whenever I whenever I have
Speaker 1: a bad day, I know I can turn on the
Speaker 1: podcast or one of your old specials or an old
Speaker 1: interviews and immediately feel comforted. I haven't always had consistent
Speaker 1: groups of friends, and I'm kind of weird, but you
Speaker 1: and Noah and Andrew make me feel like part of
Speaker 1: a commune to the I love all the inside jokes
Speaker 1: apparently I left so hard now at things like that,
Speaker 1: and they consistently give me points of joy in my
Speaker 1: life at my s s d J soul sucking day job.
Speaker 1: Thanks for helping me get a meet and greeten tonight too.
Speaker 1: I love how much I love comedy because of you now.
Speaker 1: I also love how you like to wear shirts and
Speaker 1: things about what you like, because I do that too.
Speaker 1: You're consistent you considutently, consistently will demonstrate what they wrote
Speaker 1: it that way. By the way, you consistently demonstrate what
Speaker 1: it means to be a good human. I wish the
Speaker 1: rest of the world was as empathetic as you. Thank
Speaker 1: you for everything. When I'm depressed, Nikki's there. When I
Speaker 1: deal with my stomach sickness, Nikki is there. And when
Speaker 1: I'm having a great day, Nikki's also there. You are
Speaker 1: consistent source of light to everyone you touch. Oh that's
Speaker 1: so nice. All the swells, Kristen ps skeletons are always laughing.
Speaker 1: Feel free to write me or reach out anytime. She
Speaker 1: left her number and she wrote something apparently the news
Speaker 1: on the side, and then swifty for life and then
Speaker 1: I want to f you as I want to tofu.
Speaker 1: I love the inside jokes. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: that sincere beautiful handwritten note that I got at one
Speaker 1: of the meet and greets. I love you guys, um.
Speaker 1: There's something about putting it on paper that it just
Speaker 1: means so much. I don't know why. I maybe because
Speaker 1: I'm old. I love you guys so much, and thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. I just yeah, you know, I can't
Speaker 1: say it enough. It's it's you've changed my life in
Speaker 1: the way that I look at what I do. And um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I love I love the love and I
Speaker 1: feel it back. And you guys are my friends too,
Speaker 1: and you make me feel less alone. And um, and
Speaker 1: thank you so much for all the voice memos today
Speaker 1: think you know of for compiling those, and she said
Speaker 1: that there's so many you guys, and you guys just
Speaker 1: keep bringing just great content games. So happy Yes your
Speaker 1: a game is what she said. Thank you so much, Andrew,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, Nikki. It was a great week
Speaker 1: and I'm excited for this weekend. Yeah, good shows ahead
Speaker 1: of us. And there's going to be a special episode
Speaker 1: on Monday that you can look forward to. And what
Speaker 1: about the what about? Oh yeah, we have a live
Speaker 1: podcast coming up next week on Wednesday. All the details
Speaker 1: of that will be released on our Nicky Glazer Pod
Speaker 1: Instagram page in St. Louis a live podcast that you
Speaker 1: can come to the taping of and um, there might
Speaker 1: be cameras there for other reasons as well, so look
Speaker 1: out for that information on the stories or a main
Speaker 1: post of Nicky Glazer Pod. And we hope to see
Speaker 1: you there next Wednesday. In St. Louis at Joe's Cafe,
Speaker 1: and uh, well, don't be cooled this weekend. Please don't
Speaker 1: and have all this well then