1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. Well, we are about 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: to see Black Friday coming up in a few days, 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 1: and before we get to Black Friday, I thought, man, 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: we should talk to somebody about money and what money means. 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: And I saw I had an email come to me 6 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,240 Speaker 1: about a gentleman who's just written a book about this, 7 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: and it really hit home for me because I see 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: my kids in this situation where they're constantly watching videos 9 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: and everything seems like, Oh, I have to have this, 10 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: I have to have that, and there it's like the 11 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: Sephora generation. You guys have all heard about the ten 12 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: year old's going to Sephora and wanting you know, facial 13 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,559 Speaker 1: products and all of that. But this gentleman has a 14 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 1: little bit of a different take on what to do 15 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,959 Speaker 1: with your money and especially when you are passing on 16 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 1: your wealth, how to take care of that. So I 17 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: want to welcome Harmon Kong to the podcast. He is 18 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: the author of Values over Valuables Daring to Live the 19 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: Life Money Can't Buy. He's also a wealth advisor as well. 20 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining me. 21 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 2: Thank you, Tutor, honor and pleasure to be on your show. 22 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: Oh I'm so excited because we were just talking about 23 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: how wealth that has passed on is not necessarily there's 24 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 1: not necessarily an understanding in the lower generations or the 25 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: newer generations how to take care of money. And I 26 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: noticed you were talking about the baby boomers have made 27 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 1: a lot of money, and it's X millennial and Y 28 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: or and Z that are kind of like we're spending wildly. 29 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm X. I thought I was a 30 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: little bit smarter than that. But maybe there's something we 31 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: don't know, so share with us. 32 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's a lot of things, tutor that 33 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 3: are that are sort of colliding that are giving us 34 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 3: pause to think about it. 35 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 2: First, Yes, you're right. 36 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 3: The baby boomers, according to Fortune's recent update earlier this 37 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 3: year in February, estimates that something like eighty five to 38 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 3: one hundred and twenty nine trillion dollars is going to 39 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 3: go from one generation to the next. Now, it will 40 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 3: go to mom first, and I'll just say that because 41 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 3: that's another topic. But mom typically outlives the husband, so 42 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 3: not in common that mom will steward that those funds first. 43 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 3: But so that's happening in the background. The baby boom 44 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 3: generation has a massed an incredible amount of wealth. They 45 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 3: receive modest inheritance from the silent generation, and you know, 46 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 3: we've amassed incredible amount of wealth because it's been been 47 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 3: a good cycle. A rising tide has essentially lifted all 48 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 3: our boats. And now our kids are challenged with you know, 49 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,959 Speaker 3: housing is so expensive, it's it's hard to make a living. 50 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 3: Do I even try? Maybe I'm just going to spend 51 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 3: money and have a good time and figure it out later. 52 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 3: Yet eventually this inheritance is going to go to them, 53 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 3: you know, go to them in a time when maybe 54 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 3: they're in their forties fifties. The question is what are 55 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 3: they going to do with it. At the same token, 56 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 3: we can all honestly say, you know, has our education 57 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 3: system really taught our kids about money and finance? And 58 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 3: so I think there's a financial literacy issue that's also 59 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 3: happening in the background of this huge trend. 60 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: Tutor Absolutely, I mean I don't think that that's something 61 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: that my kids have been learning in school. But when 62 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: you talk about passing that on, I mean, when you 63 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: talk about values over wealth and wealth accumulation, what are 64 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 1: you teaching people in this book? What does that mean? 65 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 3: Well, I over the years have discovered that I've been 66 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 3: working with a lot of families that we spend a 67 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 3: lot of time building a financial fortress when we've accumulated funds, 68 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 3: and that means. What that means to us is that 69 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 3: we have the best lawyers. We have estate lawyers that 70 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 3: build trust, we have money managers, we have financial advisors CPAs, 71 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 3: and we build sort of a moat like the good 72 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 3: old medieval days, sort of build a moat around their 73 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 3: little castle, and we're hoping that we can protect that 74 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 3: for generations to come. But there was a study about 75 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 3: fifteen years ago that discovered that you know, a generational 76 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 3: wealth actually doesn't last. In fact, seventy percent of your kids, 77 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 3: which is the next generation, will lose what they need 78 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 3: hero it, and then when it gets down to the grandkids, 79 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 3: the third generation, ninety percent lose that. So to me, 80 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 3: that really struck me as how is it possible? Because 81 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: if you have a good mode and it seems like 82 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 3: it should transfer, and the statistics and odds are actually 83 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:22,920 Speaker 3: a not in favor. So I really want to understand 84 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 3: why is that? And I think what I've learned is 85 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 3: that we focus on the valuables and not the valuables 86 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 3: that really matter, like who are you? 87 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 2: How did you accumulate that? 88 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:32,600 Speaker 3: Well? 89 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I see that. I mean even some of 90 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: the wealthiest families that I know. You know, it's like 91 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 1: the grandfather is the one who really came from nothing, 92 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: built the business. And I think it's kind of interesting 93 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: to watch that. You see, the grandfather came from nothing, 94 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 1: built the business, and then it's like the next generation 95 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: worked in the business. But then the third generation is 96 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: very interesting. They're outsailing there, out playing, They're all doing 97 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: something and you think, okay, And I've often questioned in 98 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 1: those situations, is there so much wealth that it doesn't 99 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 1: matter because the investments are doing well and they don't 100 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,160 Speaker 1: have to worry. And then if that's the case, what 101 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: does a family like mine do? How do I ensure 102 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: that my kids have something? But they know that they 103 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: can't just blow it all. It's not like, you know, 104 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: they get their inheritance and they're like, oh, I should 105 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,599 Speaker 1: go buy a boat and then it's all gone. I mean, 106 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: how do people know not to just spend when they 107 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 1: see it? 108 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 3: Well, I'll give you. I'll tell you a quick interaction 109 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 3: I had and this is a common interaction, and you're right, 110 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 3: there's a generation that built well through this idea of 111 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 3: hard work. 112 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 2: My father was the same way. 113 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 3: He said, hard work is something that you're going to learn. 114 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 3: And to him, hard work was get out in the 115 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 3: yard and dig some ditches, right right. But what happens is, 116 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 3: so this is a common interaction I have with clients 117 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 3: who are maybe entrepreneurs, had some financial success, and they're 118 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 3: building their moat, their financial fortress. And you know, I 119 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 3: had one situation where and I tell the story in 120 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 3: the book, where we were building a generational wealth strategy, 121 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 3: like what we call dynasty trusts that could last for generations. 122 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 3: And I knew this client very well, and he was 123 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 3: adamant that, you know, hard work is a core value. 124 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 3: It's how we got to where we were, and I 125 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 3: want to teach him that. And so his attorney drafted 126 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 3: all these documents. I reviewed him, and I said, well, 127 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 3: if it's finances in trying to save money and pass 128 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 3: on the most of the next generation to a family 129 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 3: and an offering that you haven't even met yet, then 130 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 3: I say it's a good strategy. I said, however, you 131 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 3: have told me that hard work is an ethic and 132 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 3: value you want to pass on. So Basically, you're setting 133 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,279 Speaker 3: up the next generation of kids that maybe you never 134 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 3: met yet or won't meet because this thing is going 135 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 3: to go on forever that they don't really have to 136 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 3: work hard. And he stopped and he goes, wait, that's 137 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 3: not what I want to do, And so he scratched 138 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 3: the plan and try to figure out, Okay, we need 139 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 3: to rethink this. How do we going to do? 140 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: You rethink that though, because I mean, how do you 141 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: how do you plan for beyond you? And how do 142 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: you instill those values? Is that something that you are 143 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 1: you are working at in the home. Is that something 144 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: that should be coming from school? What is your suggestion 145 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: on it? 146 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 3: Well, I think it needs to come from the family, honestly. 147 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 3: It's so in the book I might provide sort of 148 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 3: my thought on what families ought to do to strive better. 149 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 2: I use my own family as an example. 150 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 3: So I think basically, every family has a core set 151 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 3: of values. So everything individual has a core set of values. 152 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 3: It's the way we think based on these values. It's 153 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 3: sort of our lens of life, right, It's how we think, 154 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 3: how we process information, how we make decisions, how we 155 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 3: raise our kids, how we interact with our friends, and 156 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 3: they're often not spoken. 157 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 2: It's just that's kind of the way you do things. 158 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 3: And I kind of contrast this idea that you know 159 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 3: that the Dixon family is an organization in itself and 160 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 3: it has core values, just like a company has core values. 161 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 3: And so if you think of your family with core 162 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 3: values like a company, then you can recognize, well, a 163 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 3: company needs have core values. What we should too, We 164 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 3: should write those down. So I talk about discovering what 165 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 3: your values are and write it down. 166 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 2: Make sure. 167 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 3: And here's the question. Do your kids You have four girls, right, 168 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 3: do your girls all know what you and your husband 169 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 3: core values are? Like? 170 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 2: What do you guys care about? What's most important to you? 171 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 3: And you know you should have at least five I 172 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 3: say five to seven. In our family, we have five 173 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 3: core values that we think about and the way we operate. 174 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:42,960 Speaker 3: But in addition to that, I was challenged once to 175 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 3: create a vision and mission statement because I have them 176 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 3: for the company, but do you have them. 177 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 2: For your family? And when I was asked that. 178 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,079 Speaker 3: Rhetorical question, I just said, oh gosh, that that kind 179 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 3: of hurts, right, So, what we spend so much trying 180 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 3: time trying to figure out the best mission vision statement 181 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,719 Speaker 3: for our business, but. 182 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 2: We don't do that for the family. What's what's going 183 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 2: on here? 184 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 3: And then on top of that, you know, we don't 185 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 3: have regular family meetings like you would in the business. 186 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 3: I'm sure your team, you guys meet maybe once a 187 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 3: meet week regularly, because you need to know are we 188 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 3: are we staying true to our values or do we 189 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 3: have a vision of what we're trying to accomplish in 190 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 3: the future, do we have a mission of how how 191 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 3: we're doing? How are we tracking? Let's talk about that. 192 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 3: So life gets really busy, as you know. I have 193 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 3: four kids too, and by the way, I have twin boys. 194 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 3: Oh you do, yeah, so we have a boy, girl, 195 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 3: boy boy. 196 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 2: I know you have all girls. 197 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:39,679 Speaker 1: So it's busy, right, yeah, oh absolutely, and twins are 198 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: so much fun. But yes, absolutely, And that is I 199 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: guess these are great, great thoughts for a young families 200 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 1: is to come. I mean it's funny because we have 201 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: these little, you know, prayer buckets at the sides of 202 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: the girl's bed and like what prayers do you want 203 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: to put in? And that's I mean in a way 204 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: that's thinking about that. But to have these core values, 205 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 1: I like that idea I like the idea of having 206 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: that family meeting where you discuss it and say, you know, 207 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 1: I want I want your input too, what do you 208 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: think is important? And then let's whittle that down because 209 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: in a business, that is what we would do and 210 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: what is our mission as a family. Let's take a 211 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 1: quick commercial break. We'll continue next on the Tutor Dixon podcast. 212 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 1: I think that oftentimes parents are so busy today with 213 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 1: phones and business, and business now can be all the time. 214 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 1: And you know, it's funny because when I was in sales, 215 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 1: I will never forget going to a sales meeting one day. 216 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: And this was right when cell phones became popular. Yes, 217 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,440 Speaker 1: I know it's like people can't remember a time before 218 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: cell phones, but it was that you could only get 219 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: a call from your customer at your desk, right. So 220 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,560 Speaker 1: we had just really gotten to the point where everybody 221 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: had a cell phone. And I walked into one of 222 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: our industry meetings and I sat down and the guy 223 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,960 Speaker 1: that came in like kind of all, he was like 224 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: a little bit disheveled. He sat down next to me 225 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 1: and he was like, are they calling you all the time? 226 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:03,319 Speaker 1: I said, what, who? And he was like, the customers 227 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 1: are they calling you like endlestlie. They can just call 228 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: you in the middle of the night. It was like 229 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,679 Speaker 1: having a PTSD breakdown, right, And it was the first 230 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 1: time that people in business had never been able to 231 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: shut it off. And our kids have never been in 232 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: the situation where parents came home and shut it off. 233 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,599 Speaker 1: You know, the phone didn't ring at home. Now the 234 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: business travels with you. So how do you come up 235 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 1: with those core values and live them when families should 236 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: come first? 237 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 3: Yeah? No, And I think you raise a great point. 238 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 3: So I just share what we do. And I talked 239 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 3: a little bit about that in the book, like how 240 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 3: did we manage that raising four kids? 241 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 2: You know, we had one, two three. 242 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,199 Speaker 3: I think ours are two years apart, and I think 243 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 3: yours are probably two years apart. So you know, four 244 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:49,320 Speaker 3: kids in car seats when they're a bit babies, And yes, 245 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 3: but that's crazy. I think the thing I freaked out 246 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 3: was four kids in college at the same time. Wait 247 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 3: a second, Well, we got to get her act together, Yes, 248 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 3: but I'm feeling that you believe, you know, there's never 249 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,719 Speaker 3: too early, are never too late to start meeting as 250 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 3: a family. So we started doing it when our kids 251 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 3: were the youngest were eight year old. They were just 252 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 3: turning seven. We had our first family meeting in two 253 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 3: thousand and eight, So it wasn't so much at that age, 254 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 3: it wasn't so much the content that we as parents 255 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 3: wanted to drive through to that. It was really more 256 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 3: we wanted to create a space where they felt safe, 257 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 3: they can be affirmed and have enjoyment of meeting together 258 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 3: as a family. 259 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,080 Speaker 1: But also kind of that concept of responsibility too, because 260 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: I think when you have core values, that's like, okay, 261 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,319 Speaker 1: these are this is my responsibility. I have to live 262 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: by this. 263 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:41,559 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, exactly, And that's where you get to articulate 264 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 3: what those core values are. So if you say family 265 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 3: is a core value for us, it was faith, family, service, community, 266 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 3: and generosity. Those were a five and everything we talked 267 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 3: about had to deal with that. And so a lot 268 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 3: of parenting, as you have discovered, is not talking. It's catching. 269 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,679 Speaker 3: So we say not taught, but caught, right, And when 270 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 3: you catch them doing something is when you actually get 271 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 3: to teach them something because they don't always you know 272 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 3: before you have different learners, right, I always just tell 273 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 3: my kids, you know, some of you are experiential learners 274 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 3: and some of you are vicarious learners. 275 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 2: I mean, I can tell you it's probably. 276 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,160 Speaker 3: Not a good idea to go over the speed limit 277 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 3: because you get a bunch of tickets and you're going 278 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 3: to pay a lot and fines and your insurances go. 279 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 3: And where another kid, let's say, I don't know, dad, 280 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,600 Speaker 3: I'm just gonna figure it out myself, and then he 281 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 3: gets a bunch of tickets and well, I tried to 282 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 3: tell you, but you're an experiential learner. 283 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: Yes, I have one of those for sure. 284 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 3: Yes, I think every family should get one because it 285 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 3: refines our ability to but. 286 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 1: I think you also have to. It's this is so 287 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: fascinating because it's something I know but I haven't like 288 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: put into words like that. And I think it's something 289 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 1: that you need to think about with your kids because 290 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 1: I also think there is this desire when you're a parent, 291 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: like I'm going to stop you from anything bad, and 292 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,839 Speaker 1: then you're not only disappointing with the kid, but you're 293 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,199 Speaker 1: disappointed in yourself because you go, how did I screw 294 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 1: this up? Is all kids are different, and they all 295 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: have different and some of them have to live through 296 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: that horrible thing for them to actually learn. 297 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and there's different things I know for us. 298 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 3: One of the things we discovered earlier on We're two 299 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,319 Speaker 3: things I think were really helpful for us. It's really 300 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 3: understanding our parenting style, like how is my parenting style 301 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 3: different from my wives? And then when we know that, 302 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 3: we can see our blind spots. Oh, here I go again. 303 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 3: I'm being helicopter mom or I'm being save your dad. 304 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 3: And I need to let them know fail better to 305 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 3: have them fail on little things. And this you talk 306 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 3: about responsibility. It's okay for them to make mistakes when 307 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 3: they're young and you can correct that, but when they 308 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 3: get older and make mistakes that the cost of the 309 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 3: mistake can be more significant. So it's a very critical 310 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 3: time to teach that responsibility. And in family meetings you 311 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 3: get a chance to actually stop what you're doing and 312 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 3: let's talk about these things that happen. So we always 313 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 3: started our meetings. 314 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 2: I'm sorry I skipt that. 315 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 3: The second thing really is just we we wanted to 316 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 3: understand our love languages. I don't know if you heard 317 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 3: that Gary Jean wrote on the five love language. So 318 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 3: we did our love language for each of us and 319 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 3: each kid. So we began to know, Okay, we know 320 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 3: that Tyler's acts of service, so he expresses love by 321 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 3: serving us. But we if we want to express love 322 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 3: to him, then we serve him, we not our words 323 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 3: of affirmation. She loves to be affirmed, so we know 324 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 3: that that's her love language. And so as a parent, 325 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 3: you know, you're trying to say, what's my parenting style, 326 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 3: what's my love language? What's their love language? My love 327 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 3: language was quality time. So to me, I was super 328 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 3: happy just taking road trips for hours and hours and 329 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 3: hours just I get to hang. 330 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 2: Out with the kids. 331 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. 332 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, So everyone's different, but I think it's important to 333 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 3: kind of it's really about self reflection. You know, how 334 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 3: how are you doing in what areas do you need 335 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 3: to refine? 336 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: I think that's interesting because I think a lot of 337 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 1: times when we think about our financial health, we think 338 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: about where going to invest, how are we going to 339 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: keep the money, how are we going to prepare to 340 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 1: have more money? And when we don't, when we aren't 341 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: making the money anymore, where is it going to be. 342 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 1: It's not about how our family interacts and what our 343 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: family enjoys, and maybe we are wasting money in areas 344 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 1: where that's not what even that person is looking for. 345 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 1: I never thought about figuring out my kids love languages 346 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: because you as a parent, I think a lot of 347 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 1: times we get caught up and I know which this 348 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 1: one is, I know this one. But to have them 349 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 1: invested in that process and talking to me about no, 350 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 1: this is actually what makes me really happy. That could 351 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: also help with discipline. 352 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, tutor, and it's important for your kids to 353 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 3: be able to know what their love language is, Yeah, 354 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 3: because it's about self reflection and understanding who am I. 355 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 3: But on the financial piece, when our kids were young, 356 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 3: you know, as a financial person, I wanted to teach 357 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 3: them good financial responsibility. So how do you teach an 358 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 3: eight year old good financial responsibility? So we gave our 359 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 3: kid kids allowance every meeting, and when they were young, 360 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 3: we had them every month. Now we do annual meetings 361 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 3: because they're all adults and they're out of the nest working, 362 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,399 Speaker 3: three are married, and now we do family retreat Sometimes 363 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 3: there are vacations, like the last one we went to 364 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,120 Speaker 3: Japan and. 365 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,720 Speaker 2: We took a day and just had our family meeting. 366 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 3: But when they were little, to teach them about finances, 367 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 3: we gave them allowance. It would never use allowance as 368 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 3: a form of you know, punishment, which I see that happens. 369 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,119 Speaker 3: You were naughty this week, You're not getting it, and 370 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 3: you know what you can do is create an apathetic child. 371 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 3: You know, I don't care, I don't want to want it, 372 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,399 Speaker 3: I don't want to engage. So we always gave it 373 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,639 Speaker 3: to regardless and said, you know why you get this 374 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 3: is because you're a part of the family. 375 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 2: That's the benefit of being the family. However, you have 376 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 2: a responsibility with what you've been given. And so they 377 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 2: would have three envelopes and each envelope on the outside 378 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,959 Speaker 2: was labeled they can do one of three things with it. 379 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 2: And although I was trying to teach them is you 380 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,199 Speaker 2: can do three things with money at your age. You 381 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,520 Speaker 2: can spend it, save it, give it away. 382 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 3: So each envelope had, you know, charity, savings and spending 383 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 3: they had so every time they got it, they had 384 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 3: something had to go in these envelope. 385 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 2: It couldn't all be one. So here's a teaching moment. 386 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,880 Speaker 3: I think one of our kids was ten years old 387 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,120 Speaker 3: and they put a lot of money in their wallet, right, 388 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 3: and I go, okay, you know what if you lost that, 389 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 3: would you be upset, you know, and he goes, yeah, 390 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 3: I would be upset. I go, do you really need 391 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,399 Speaker 3: that much money in your wallet? Maybe should put in 392 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 3: the savings envelope just so you don't risk losing it. 393 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,439 Speaker 3: And I go, oh, yeah, that's a good idea. And 394 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,199 Speaker 3: so those are the teaching moments. What we also did 395 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,280 Speaker 3: on the charity side is I told them I would 396 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:39,360 Speaker 3: double whatever they save or whatever they want to give 397 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:42,680 Speaker 3: away as a parent, because I wanted to encourage generosity. Again, 398 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 3: generosity was a core value for us. I wanted to 399 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,400 Speaker 3: I want to make us express that. And every year 400 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 3: they would collectively say, let's put it together and give 401 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 3: it to a cause that we all care about as 402 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,160 Speaker 3: a family. 403 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,720 Speaker 2: So we were doing this every year with the kids. 404 00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,119 Speaker 3: And most of our family given cent and around poverty initiatives. 405 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,400 Speaker 3: And that's how we kind of grew their heart. 406 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,160 Speaker 2: To to generosity. 407 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 3: Now they give to things that they care about, but 408 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,160 Speaker 3: we generally have our own family causes that we all 409 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:08,680 Speaker 3: care about. 410 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 2: That has to have been developed over time. 411 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: So you've been doing this since they were little. They're 412 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: adults now they do they have their own kids, not yet, 413 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 1: but you still have the family meeting. 414 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 3: Yes, we do what we include the spouses now and 415 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:31,159 Speaker 3: that's gotten kind of interesting. They love it because their 416 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 3: families had never done it, and so they're going, wow, 417 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:35,879 Speaker 3: this is so cool. 418 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 2: I didn't know that. 419 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 3: And one of the things that we still do the 420 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 3: affirmations at the end of the meeting. I do usually 421 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,120 Speaker 3: do a devotion at the beginning to kick it off, 422 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,080 Speaker 3: and then they actually have a one page form to 423 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,159 Speaker 3: fill out and I share that in my book and 424 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 3: on my author website. I call it the family playbook. 425 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 3: It's not a work book because if you say the 426 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 3: word work, no one wants to work, right. But if 427 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 3: you say playbook, then the playbook sounds like, oh, that 428 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 3: sounds like something I want to. 429 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 2: Do, sounds more fun. 430 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 3: And when you think playbook, it's about winning, right, You're 431 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 3: trying to pursue something, and so we want to win 432 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 3: with our family. Not so that's why it's called that, 433 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 3: But in there there's our family. We do a goal sheet. 434 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 3: It is a one pager and it lists sort of 435 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 3: it has our love language. I have a scripture that says, 436 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 3: where there is no vision, the people perish Proverbs twenty nine. 437 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 3: But what they do is they can fill out different 438 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,399 Speaker 3: goals they have and their relational goals, their professional goals. 439 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,879 Speaker 3: They also have a section where it's prayer request and 440 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 3: then answer prayers. And what's been really cool about that 441 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,920 Speaker 3: is when they write their prayer request, we know how 442 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:41,760 Speaker 3: to pray for each other. 443 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: Well, that's love, it's shared. 444 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 3: As a family, and then I know I know what 445 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 3: Haley and Andrew are praying for. 446 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 2: And it's been. 447 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 3: Fun to be able to look way back now and say, Wow, 448 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 3: look how God showed up in your life and answered 449 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 3: that prayer. 450 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,200 Speaker 2: How cool is that? And that's so cool Again. 451 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 3: I say faith was a core value for us, and 452 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 3: so how do you build children in faith? You got 453 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 3: to show them where face shows up with their life 454 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,439 Speaker 3: at an early age and so things like that that 455 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 3: we did that we continue to do today, but more 456 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 3: an adult context. 457 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,359 Speaker 1: Stay tuned for more of my conversation with Harman Kong. 458 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,679 Speaker 1: But first I want to tell you about Saber. You 459 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 1: guys might not know this, but every twenty five seconds 460 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 1: a break in occurs. Are you ready to protect your 461 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,439 Speaker 1: home and your family? You've heard us talk about Saber 462 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,439 Speaker 1: home defense launchers, the ultimate choice for protecting what matters most, 463 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 1: and this week you can secure the Saber Mega Bundle 464 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,680 Speaker 1: for twenty five percent off a two hundred and forty 465 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: dollars value for only one hundred and seventy nine dollars 466 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:43,159 Speaker 1: and ninety nine cents. Saber's Best Bundle equips you with 467 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: life saving stopping power to defend your family, including a 468 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: Saber launcher, two seven round magazines, fourteen pepper rounds, twenty 469 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 1: eight practice rounds, a practice target co, two cartridges, and 470 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 1: carry case. Why choose Saber Their projectiles pack serious punch, 471 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,440 Speaker 1: causing intense pain with direct contact and even if you miss, 472 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: Saber creates a six foot pepper cloud upon impact, causing 473 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,479 Speaker 1: intense sensory irritation for anyone within its reach. And Saber 474 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: is the only sixty eight caliber launcher with a seven 475 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 1: projectile capacity, delivering up to forty percent more stopping power 476 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,160 Speaker 1: than other brands. So act now, you guys can protect 477 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 1: your family, protect yourself, protect your family, and save twenty 478 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:30,439 Speaker 1: five percent. It's a no brainer. Visit Saber radio dot com. 479 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 1: That's Sabre radio dot com or call eight four four 480 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 1: eight two four safe today. The offer ends December second, guys, 481 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 1: come on, you gotta do it now now. Stay tuned 482 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,880 Speaker 1: We've got more coming up on the Tutor Dixon podcast 483 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 1: after this. This has been so neat honestly to listen 484 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 1: to you because I looked at this and I thought, Okay, 485 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: this is going to tell me how to manage money 486 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,560 Speaker 1: and then family at the same time. But I didn't 487 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,359 Speaker 1: really understand the depth of what this would be. And 488 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about this, I'm like, gosh, so many 489 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: families could benefit so greatly from this playbook. Actually, you know, 490 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 1: because life doesn't come with a handbook, we don't know 491 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: exactly how to do it. Then here, if you are 492 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 1: catching people with their kids at these young ages, then 493 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,120 Speaker 1: this is instilling something that you can have in your 494 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: life for as long as you are a family, which 495 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: is hopefully forever. So talk about where people can find this. 496 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,240 Speaker 1: I just want to say again the book is called 497 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 1: Values over Valuables Daring to Live the life Money Can't Buy. 498 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,120 Speaker 1: And I think that this is such a good Christmas 499 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,480 Speaker 1: gift because I'm honestly sitting here thinking like this is 500 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,199 Speaker 1: something that we could read as a couple. You know, 501 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,200 Speaker 1: we can read this and talk to our kids about 502 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 1: this together, like this is how mommy and Daddy want 503 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 1: to go forward with our family. We want to have 504 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 1: a mission statement. We want to lead you guys in 505 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: a good direction. 506 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, now that's fantastic, Tutor. I'm super excited to hear that, 507 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,439 Speaker 3: especially from you as a mother, for because I know 508 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 3: how busy life could be, and we do have to 509 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 3: take a pause and say, how you know there's no 510 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 3: here's I know you've heard this before, but there's no 511 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 3: amount of success in the world that will compensate you 512 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,840 Speaker 3: for failure at home. And that resonated with me the 513 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 3: first time I read that, and I thought, yeah, I 514 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,400 Speaker 3: don't want this. And so I've seen that failure, I've 515 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 3: seen dysfunction, I've seen if you don't identify those core 516 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 3: value and help steward that with your family, they're going 517 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 3: to find their values in the world. 518 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,439 Speaker 2: And you're not going to know. 519 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,159 Speaker 3: The parents often hear you hear this. I sent my 520 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,600 Speaker 3: kid to college and I don't know who they are 521 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 3: when they came back. Well, do they know who they are? 522 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 3: Do they you know, doing the name of their core 523 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,199 Speaker 3: values are? Well, we didn't really talked about that. And 524 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 3: at the end of the day, right, it's not about 525 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 3: what we financially leave behind. Right, talk to anyone who's 526 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 3: a massed and incredible wealth in their last years or 527 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 3: days or weeks, they're not worried about that. 528 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 2: They're they're worried about, you know, the typically thinking. 529 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,199 Speaker 1: About absolutely the family. 530 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 3: So if you think about immortality, it should be an 531 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 3: inspiration to get started, you know, you know. 532 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 2: But the book is available on. 533 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,800 Speaker 3: Amazon and different retailers. There's a Kindle version, there's an 534 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 3: audible version that's in in process. But I would encourage 535 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 3: everyone to not just read it. It's a short book. 536 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 3: It's meant to be read short in a short period 537 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 3: of time. I didn't want a long book. I don't 538 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 3: know about you, but when I get books there are 539 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 3: twohund and fifty pages, I go, you one day, I'll 540 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,719 Speaker 3: read it, but a shorter. So I cut it down 541 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 3: a lot, and I was hoping people can read it 542 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 3: over the weekend, because really not, it's not what you know, right, 543 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,160 Speaker 3: it's what you actually do. So I encourage to actually 544 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,680 Speaker 3: take a step forward and do that. And I pose 545 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 3: this rhetorical question of going back to the company ideas 546 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 3: that you know, a couple years in a row, our 547 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 3: company got awards for the best places to work right, well, 548 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 3: the best place to work. What a great reward and 549 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 3: that because that's an employee survey, not an owner survey. 550 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,159 Speaker 3: And so it's nice to get those awards. Can you 551 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 3: imagine if you've got an award for the best family 552 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:00,920 Speaker 3: to live in? 553 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:01,880 Speaker 1: Wow? 554 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, what would that look like? Tutor? 555 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 3: And so that's all I'm trying. You know, it sounds 556 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,879 Speaker 3: like a financial book. I know. One financial editor said, 557 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 3: how did you write a book but not have any 558 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,360 Speaker 3: real dollar symbols or strategies or math formulas, And I said, well, 559 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 3: everyone's wrote in books like that, and I don't want 560 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 3: it to read like an NBA book. It's really sat. 561 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 3: It's really more about the court issues that's going on 562 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 3: inside that affects how we relate to each other, our 563 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 3: family in particular, and then our friends in our community. 564 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 2: And then the wider audience. And that's the think where 565 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 2: we can make a difference is right here at home. 566 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 1: I think it's amazing. I honestly, I'm listening to this 567 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is a great idea to give 568 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 1: to your spouse, to give to your kids. I mean, 569 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 1: I can imagine, you know, my mom saying, look, this 570 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,800 Speaker 1: would be great for both of you. You know, I 571 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: just think that this is fascinating, so I want to 572 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,200 Speaker 1: thank you for coming out today. Definitely check it out 573 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,879 Speaker 1: everybody again. It's values over valuables, daring to live the 574 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 1: life money can't buy. Check it out. Thank Herman Kong, 575 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,160 Speaker 1: thank you so much. 576 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 2: Thank you Tutor so much. 577 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 3: It's been a pleasure. 578 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,439 Speaker 1: Absolutely, and thanks you. Thank you all for listening to 579 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 1: the Tutor Dixon Podcast. As always, for this episode and others, 580 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,920 Speaker 1: you go to the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 581 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,199 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts and join us next time. Have 582 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:16,920 Speaker 1: a blessed day.