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Speaker 1: Am I the asshole for announcing my wife's second pregnancy

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Speaker 1: in front of my sister who can't have kids and asked.

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Speaker 2: Us for money for an IVF treatment.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes you just got to rub it in, you know, like.

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Speaker 2: Salt in the wound. They say it's good to put

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Speaker 2: salt in the wind.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I have a three year old son

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Speaker 1: and we're expecting our second child next year. Both our

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Speaker 1: children were conceived via IVF. We spent years trying for

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Speaker 1: a first with no success, and it took four cycles

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Speaker 1: of IVF to have them, which that's expensive, like probably

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Speaker 1: forty K.

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Speaker 2: Could be more. It was brutal on my wife.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we both felt like trying for biological children

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Speaker 1: was the way to go for us. We tried naturally

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Speaker 1: for a second child after our first turn one, but

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Speaker 1: had zero luck. We were left with money for one

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Speaker 1: cycle of IVF, which we decided to pursue if we

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Speaker 1: didn't have any luck naturally, which we didn't, so they're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: let's send it accept. Around a year ago, my wife

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Speaker 1: and I were gearing up to start the ball rolling

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Speaker 1: on our IVF journey when my sister came and asked

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Speaker 1: if she could have the money to try IVF herself.

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Speaker 1: My sister has no biological kids, but does have an

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Speaker 1: eleven year old step son. She has endometriosis and PCOS

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Speaker 1: with PCOS.

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Speaker 3: Oh, now we have someone to look stuff up for us.

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Speaker 3: Riley Siri, you're fired.

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Speaker 2: So no more periods means maybe no more kids.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like at least reduced chances.

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Speaker 1: Russ the chances of having a child. Yeah, and she

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Speaker 1: has never been able to have a child. Her step

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Speaker 1: son is not very close to her and they've had

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Speaker 1: problems with him since the start of the marriage. Her

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Speaker 1: step son has always brought up the fact that his

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Speaker 1: dad married again too soon after his mom died, and

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Speaker 1: how my sister is trying to replace her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, when you're getting that told to you by an eleven.

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Speaker 2: Year old kid, that ic dude.

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Speaker 1: They just know how to fucking go after your throat. Really,

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Speaker 1: though he ran away from home three times already, we

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Speaker 1: also had the police and Child Protective Services on their

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Speaker 1: door because he tried to get removed from their care.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, kid is rebelling our main for saying

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Speaker 1: no is we wanted to give her son a sibling,

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Speaker 1: But I can't lie and say the dynamic in her

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Speaker 1: home wasn't on my mind too, and I wasn't sure

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Speaker 1: it was a good idea to bring a new baby

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Speaker 1: into their home when things are as bad as they are.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, babies don't solve problems, They just cause more add

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Speaker 3: to it.

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Speaker 1: We waited for my wife to be far enough along

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Speaker 1: before announcing our last IVF cycle worked. We did this

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Speaker 1: at a family dinner. Everyone was happy for us, everyone

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Speaker 1: except sister and her husband it is. She started making

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Speaker 1: snarky comments about how it was no big deal when

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Speaker 1: we already had another kid. I told her, given our struggles,

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Speaker 1: it was a big deal. Our parents told her she

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Speaker 1: should be happy for us. She then starts ranting and

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Speaker 1: raving about how selfish we are to deny her motherhood

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Speaker 1: and deny her and her husband the chance to have

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Speaker 1: a family together. Our other sister pointed out about her

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Speaker 1: step son. She told her she's not his mother and

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Speaker 1: he hates her guts, so it's not like she'll ever get.

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Speaker 2: Any joy out of mother. H My God, nuclear, Jesus nuclear.

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Speaker 3: I understand that it's that you know she he's going

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Speaker 3: through it too, but it's like that is just so

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Speaker 3: obviously just say like, hey, I hate that you're having

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Speaker 3: another kid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like come on, like I did a little bit. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I told her I was sorry she could not have

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Speaker 1: a kid of her own, but she didn't get to

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Speaker 1: demand we sacrifice a second child for her trues. She

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Speaker 1: then told me I held her step son against her.

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Speaker 1: I told her I couldn't say that it hadn't crossed

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Speaker 1: my mind that bringing a child into what is already

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Speaker 1: a complicated mess would be a bad idea, all right, opie,

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Speaker 1: maybe a little too far, yeah, but that it was

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Speaker 1: beside the point because we wanted another child. He told

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Speaker 1: me I was an asshole for humiliating her in front

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Speaker 1: of the whole family and picking a fight with her.

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Speaker 1: I told her she picked the fight, not me, but

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Speaker 1: I didn't gauge. So am I the a hole? I

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Speaker 1: want to know what everyone else thinks? What would you

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Speaker 1: do in this situation? But John, what do you think?

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Speaker 1: Here's my question? Why do people think babies magically solve problems?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, because it's like it's hard to raise

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Speaker 2: a kid.

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Speaker 3: I just want to understand where this like mythical idea,

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Speaker 3: Like where did it come from?

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Speaker 1: I think people that don't have kids are thinking like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, it's like like a cute little like

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Speaker 1: golden retriever. But that looks like me, right, you know,

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Speaker 1: Like I think people think babies are just going to

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Speaker 1: be like cute, easy things to just like hang out with,

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Speaker 1: and that's just not the case.

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Speaker 3: Have these people seen a baby, Like, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It just makes me you've only seen the cute parts

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Speaker 2: of a baby. You also don't know what you're getting

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Speaker 2: into when you're becoming a parent.

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Speaker 3: That's true, and you know what, we've seen even more

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Speaker 3: flawed logic on this podcast, so I guess. But the

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Speaker 3: sister is so out of line, Like I totally understand,

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Speaker 3: and you know, empathize that you're going through it as well,

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Speaker 3: and you know it's probably hard to see like oh,

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Speaker 3: like I'm trying so hard for a kid. They have

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Speaker 3: a kid I can't afford IVF Like, like, I understand

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Speaker 3: that that doesn't give you license to completely tear someone down.

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Speaker 3: And you're also not entitled to someone's.

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Speaker 1: Money or there I mean, and that money equals a

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Speaker 1: second child too, so you're not entiled to their second

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Speaker 1: born child.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we would love to know what you think.

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Speaker 1: Put your answers in the comments below, and what would

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Speaker 1: you sacrifice.

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Speaker 2: Your second born child for? Let us know in the comments.

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Speaker 3: Let's get into the next one.

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Speaker 2: See, yeah, there he is.

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Speaker 3: I told my girlfriend she is forbidden from speaking Japanese

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Speaker 3: to my Japanese family.

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Speaker 1: Wait, forbidden, forbidden, forbidden. You can't speaking the forbidden language, Sam,

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Speaker 1: stop talking to me in English right now?

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Speaker 2: Wei wa?

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Speaker 3: Thank you? Finally someone who gets it.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, that is Japanese.

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Speaker 3: That is due. This guy can't prepar is that high

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Speaker 3: or something? What is it?

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Speaker 2: What is like I am or something? What thought you?

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Speaker 2: Wah wah? Yeah? I think let's see whatshi? What thoughta means?

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Speaker 2: I am nice? What thought shea? Sam? Well?

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Speaker 3: Now, I thirty five, male, have met my girlfriend, female

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Speaker 3: thirty at work. We're both interpreters. We've been together for

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Speaker 3: a few months, and Thanksgiving will be the first time

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Speaker 3: that she's going to meet my parents.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if interpreters have really good communication. That is

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Speaker 1: a great question, you know, would be ironic if they didn't.

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Speaker 1: If they didn't, I guess we'll find out. I could

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Speaker 1: see that happening.

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Speaker 3: Actually, I would argue these two have terrible communications.

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Speaker 2: I'm excited to see why.

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Speaker 3: I'm half Japanese. My dad is Japanese and my mother

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Speaker 3: is American, but my mother learned Japanese so she could

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Speaker 3: connect with the paternal side of my family. Me and

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Speaker 3: my siblings, that's so sick. That is dope, That is

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Speaker 3: super dope. Me and my siblings all speak Japanese. However,

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Speaker 3: none of my siblings spouses do. So it's like his

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Speaker 3: brother's wife, all of them, they don't. None of them

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Speaker 3: speak Japanese. My girlfriend, Sasha started learning Japanese before it

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Speaker 3: got popular. She started learning that when she was fourteen.

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Speaker 3: Has both a ba and an ma in Japanese translation

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Speaker 3: and interpreting. She's basically sounds as close to a native

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Speaker 3: speaker as possible. She's got like degrees and degrees on speaking.

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Speaker 2: Japanese, degrees in Japanese. Oh yes.

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Speaker 3: However, I warned her that she shouldn't not try and

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Speaker 3: speak Japanese when meeting my parents or grandparents, and that

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Speaker 3: this is I'm reading this verbatim. She's forbidden from using it,

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Speaker 3: even while I use it with my siblings. Why because

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Speaker 3: I don't understand You don't understand, Sam, because she's forbidden.

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Speaker 2: I don't get it. Wait, I really do. I have

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Speaker 2: I don't get it.

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't make no sense. She asked why

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Speaker 3: a reasonable.

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Speaker 2: Very reason.

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Speaker 1: See, I thought they were gonna have really good communications.

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Speaker 1: That your job is to literally interpret when other people

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Speaker 1: are saying come on, and yet you can't interpret, you

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Speaker 1: being an asshole.

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Speaker 3: Good god. She asked why, and I told her that

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Speaker 3: I would hate for my sister in laws and my

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Speaker 3: brother in laws to be uncomfortable because they don't speak Japanese.

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Speaker 3: And I don't want her to become my parents and

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Speaker 3: my grandparents' favorite because we've only been together a few

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Speaker 3: months and it wouldn't be fair if they liked her

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Speaker 3: more than my sister in law of ten years who

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Speaker 3: doesn't speak Japanese.

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Speaker 2: That is the fucking dumbest reason ever. That is so dumb.

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Speaker 3: I don't want my family to like my girlfriend too much. Yeah, Sam,

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Speaker 3: what if they like her too much? These are real

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Speaker 3: questions that need real answers. This is so dumb, real questions,

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Speaker 3: Like it's crazy, this is like a real person we

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Speaker 3: are out here with this.

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Speaker 2: My gosh.

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Speaker 3: She said that that is perfectly fine. No, I'm just kidding.

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Speaker 3: She said that that's ridiculous. It is ridiculous and she

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Speaker 3: said that she shouldn't have to hide it. I said,

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Speaker 3: perhaps later when we've been together for longer. Wait now,

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Speaker 3: she asked if she had to pretend to not understand

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Speaker 3: me and my siblings when we talk.

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Speaker 1: This is such a weird I like, she's like actually

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Speaker 1: like trying to accommodate this buffoon. Like, do you want

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Speaker 1: me to like a lie about that? I study it?

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Speaker 1: Do you want me to just like be like.

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Speaker 3: Just just create a whole different Yeah, she's got to

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Speaker 3: like wear a confused face like, wow, I don't know,

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Speaker 3: I don't saying, to which I said, exactly.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, what a fucking idiot, idiot.

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Speaker 3: She got she got really weird and just went home

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Speaker 3: for some reason.

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Speaker 2: Wait, no, he doesn't say that. He says that she.

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Speaker 3: Got really weird and went home. That's what he said.

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Speaker 1: Fucking idiot yo, okay, yoh it zero social skill?

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Speaker 3: Then, oh my god, she's been kind of distant lately.

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Speaker 3: And I told a friend about this, and they said

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Speaker 3: that I was a major a hole. Yes, and if

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Speaker 3: they asked her about her job, she would have to

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Speaker 3: lie as well. Yes, Now I admit I hadn't thought

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Speaker 3: about that, because you're an idiot but here's the thing, Sam,

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Speaker 3: But I still can't see anything that I did wrong.

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Speaker 3: So I'm this is great the verbatim exact line. So

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Speaker 3: am I the a hole for demanding she lies?

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Speaker 1: Yes, unequivocally. This is the dumbest dude on the like

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Speaker 1: on the internet.

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Speaker 3: You know, but he doesn't want her to. And what

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Speaker 3: if they like her too much?

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Speaker 1: Who is worried about their family liking them too much?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: What if? What if they like her too much? And

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Speaker 3: they're like, Hey, we love you so much that we're

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Speaker 3: gonna right here and now we're about to sign our

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Speaker 3: will over to you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're excommunicating all mass fucking. Your dumbat's boyfriend is

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Speaker 1: no longer family. You are adopted.

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Speaker 3: We like, yeah, we would like to adopt you, so

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Speaker 3: you can't. We like to do a switch, so then

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Speaker 3: we adopt you. So now you can't legally marry him

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Speaker 3: because he would be your brother. Mm And now, so

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Speaker 3: OPI is just worried about about keeping a healthy relationship

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Speaker 3: where they're allowed to get married legally.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, he's fucking he's fucked.

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Speaker 3: Yeah,