WEBVTT - Ep 247 - How Can I Pay Off Debt on a Fixed Income? 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:05.320 Ho Mary, Brown Ambition Christmas or whatever you celebrate, But 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:07.400 we've got a present for you listeners. 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:10.560 Yes, if you are looking for the perfect gift for 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:13.480 the Brown Ambition fan in your life, head to Brown 0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:17.479 Ambitionstore dot com to get twenty five percent off during 0:00:17.520 --> 0:00:18.960 our massive holidays. 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:19.239 Say. 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:21.880 This deal will not be here long, so go to 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:24.880 Brown Ambitionstore dot com and use the promo code what 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:27.040 is it Tiffany ho. 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:28.800 Ho ho but h o h o h O. Don't 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:29.680 get fresh now. 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:33.560 Use promo code ho ho ho to get twenty five 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:35.320 percent off your Brown Ambition orders. 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:35.600 Again. 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:38.200 This deal won't last forever, or will it? Because maybe 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:41.559 I'll forget to stop it. I don't know. Go to 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:59.480 Brownambissionstore dot com. Y'all, happy happy holidays. 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:11.279 Hey, Hey, Hey we're back. We're black, We're brown, he manage. 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:15.440 Hey. Happy brand Ambition Wednesday to you and yours you 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:16.199 as well. 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:18.400 I don't know. I feel extra chipper today. 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:22.520 Oh please pass. The world needs that chipper energy, you know. 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:27.360 I think it's more exhaustion because I feel like you 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.000 know how you feel Loopy're like you know what? It's manic, 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:30.760 That's what it is. 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:34.400 I mean, well, honestly, it's better that than the opposite. 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:36.760 I felt like I had the toxic energy you know 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:39.480 when you're just like a negative thought spiral and everything 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:41.880 is like you mad at everything. I even went and 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:44.160 deleted some things that posted on Instagram because I'm like, 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:47.039 nobody needs your anger and your sarcasm right now. Like 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:49.200 I did not like who I was last week, and 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:50.840 it was all down to lack of sleep. 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:54.240 Oh. I remember, like in back on Facebook, like I 0:01:54.280 --> 0:01:56.280 guess I must have been posted like sad, like this 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:58.480 is like when Facebook. When I first got on Facebook 0:01:58.480 --> 0:01:59.840 and I think I had broken up with my boyfriend 0:01:59.840 --> 0:02:02.440 at time, and like one of my friends hit me. 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:10.760 I was like, so, someone, because according to your Facebook post, 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.360 because it was like they're all cryptic, like love is 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:14.680 a fleeting butterfly. 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:17.880 Man, I don't don't do that was like peak two 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:20.200 thousand and like eight when people used to post on 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:22.840 Facebook if you know me, you know what I mean. 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:28.040 I'm like, oh gosh, so yeah, so. 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:31.760 Oh goodness, Well I'm glad that you are. You know, well, 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:34.160 I'm I'm glad. I don't know. I don't know how to. 0:02:35.000 --> 0:02:37.800 Ye honestly, I feel good. It's just that, you know, 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.880 I feel it's like a super busy day. 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:42.280 But you must be good busy. 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:45.720 Have you been on the club of the house listen. 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:48.600 I felt really cool for all of forty five minutes 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:51.560 after you gave me my secret invitation to the clubhouse app. 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:53.600 Because as soon as like, I don't know, it's like 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:55.960 the next day, or maybe it's just because you know, 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:58.839 once someone tells you that something, you know you'd see 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:00.639 a pattern in the universe, like, oh, yeah, I see 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:04.120 that pattern everywhere, but now it's like clubhouse everywhere. But yeah, 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:07.840 I've clubhouse is like this, what kind of app would 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.600 we call it? It's it's a thought a listener leadership app. 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:16.480 You listen to people having conversations about yeah, about adding anything. Honestly, 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:18.400 I would say, here, it's an audio app, I guess. 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:20.720 So think about like if you were doing a Facebook 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:24.959 live but there's no visual but sometimes you can talk 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.200 by yourself and people will listen, or you can like 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.480 bring your friends on literally the stage and like talk 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.240 and I go. Like the first couple of times I 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:34.120 went on, I hated it. I'm like, this is stupid, 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:36.960 until I actually went into a room that was a 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:39.480 good room and I was like, oh, like last night, 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:41.840 I was in a room listening and they were talking 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:45.400 about like Facebook ads and how to maximize them, and 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:46.800 it was like some really great people and there was 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:49.040 like even some Facebook people from Facebook in it, and 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.440 I'm like, oh, this is really this is really helpful. 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:55.480 So but I would say, I venture to say a 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:57.600 good eighty percent of the time if I go take 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.360 a peek, I'm like no, no, no, no, trash track stretch, 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:02.760 like I'll just like you can go, and I guess 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:04.400 it's called the hallway as soon as you log in 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:07.760 and you see all the conversations happening, and I'm like nope, nope, nope. 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:10.800 But then they're twenty percent of the time where I'm like, oh, 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:13.600 the title is interesting and usually something about business, and 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:15.720 I'll poke my head in and sometimes I get some 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:18.040 really great so I'll do work as I listen and 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:19.800 I'm like, oh, that's really great, fee but I didn't 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.479 know that, or like, for example, there'll be tools, like 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:26.200 it was one really great conversation about business and marketing 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:28.960 and they were sharing all of the tools they use, 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:32.320 like oh, I use instead of link and Bio for Instagram, 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:36.360 I use whatever you know, Beacon, dot ao or I 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.400 use this instead of infusion soft. So yeah, yeah, it 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:40.760 can be. 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:43.400 There's it seems like there's something for everybody. It feels 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:45.559 like when I when I went on there, and you know, 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.480 it pulls up your contacts, you can follow people and whatnot, 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:51.520 and it was like everybody black. It was everybody black, 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:53.560 and my poss felt like it was on Clubhouse but 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.520 the icon. I was looking at the icon for the 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:56.920 app and it's like a white lady and I'm like, 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:58.720 what are they trying to retract or what are they 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.039 staying here? But then it's true black guy, So I 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:02.560 guess they just like switch out there. 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:08.880 Yes, let me tell you about So when Clubhouse first started, 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:10.680 it was filled with like all these white guys, you know, 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:15.200 like all the investors in Silicon Valley. And then you know, 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:19.440 we are us as in Brown Ambition us, we are 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:22.359 the kings and queens of social So as they started 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:24.159 to open up to like entertainment, so there were some 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:27.480 people that were just hand invited, like hey you, hey you, 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.200 hey you, hey you, and then the black people took 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.480 over because I was asking, I said, I asked a 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:34.279 friend of mine who was like one of the early 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:38.720 adopters or whatever. I said, like, am I just seeing 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:41.560 rooms with black people because I'm black? Is it just 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:43.479 showing me? You know how like Instagram's like are you black? 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.840 You want to see this? He was like, no, that 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:48.000 the white people have disappeared? 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:51.479 Is it like the Tommy Hill figure of apps? Like 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:53.159 Tommy Hill figure in nineteen ninety four? 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:57.000 So one said that clubhouse is the pole of apps? 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:01.400 Wait has that happened until to them or to Loop? Whatever? 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:05.159 Yes, poor to Loom someone said, to Loom got to 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:10.159 be tired because everyone is my friend love you said that. 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:12.559 She was like, girl to Loom is tired. I wish 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:15.839 you to leave that girl alone. So so yeah, So 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:17.320 because I was wondering and I was like, oh, maybe 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:19.120 they just show me, He's like, no, we have totally 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.800 taken over that app. And like all of the early 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.640 adopters and you know, Silicon Valley guys like you'll you'll 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:28.760 see every once in a while because it does kind 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:31.240 of you you see the rooms based upon like you know, 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:33.800 kind of who you follow, but then you can explore 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:37.560 other rooms. The app is like it feels like eighty 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:39.440 percent blackly black black black. 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:44.840 So there's that house you're welcome. But yeah, I I 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:48.440 also but to answer your question, no, I haven't had 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:50.159 I haven't been able to spend much time on it. 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:50.880 But I've been poking. 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:53.440 I'm gonna lurk. I'm a lurker, Okay. I didn't even 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:57.560 start tiktoking till like way after people my age like 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.120 made jokes about how they're too old too, you know, 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.039 learn the choreography and then learned it like I was 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:05.200 maybe October. I sort of tiktoking, and then I stopped 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:08.440 promptly about a month after I started, but never. 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:11.880 To get into TikTok. What's that I never got into TikTok. 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:14.880 There are a lot of personal finance TikTokers, and I 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:17.800 need to It's really funny, really, And I not only that, 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:20.080 but I like, I've found out more about my vagina 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:22.680 from some doctor's TikTok than I've ever learned from like 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:26.440 going really yeah, it was like a quick sixty second 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:28.920 TikTok on like the health of your vagina, and I 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:31.920 was like, oh wow, oh oh okay, So shout out 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:34.400 to uh the professionals trying to reach the youths and 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:39.040 random older millennials out there, But uh, what else is 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:42.560 so the news today which I don't even know, I 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:45.120 sort of had seen on CNN on the background, but 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.440 I guess we have to congratulate Joe Biden for being 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:48.920 president again for like. 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:51.760 The hunger time. So did oh did they all get 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:57.000 all his electors called the electorates, they were all whatever. 0:07:56.680 --> 0:07:59.040 Put in Well he got well over two seventy like 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:01.920 they called California before I came down here to record, 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:05.440 and I'm like, Okay, congrats is really overcheck because it is, And. 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.360 It's not because I don't the elector don't they have 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:07.920 to like go. 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:11.640 To like have to go to Congress or something like. 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:13.920 That, and then the vice president has to like even 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:16.040 if the good thing is because if you guys are 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:21.480 not following following my fave Neil katal on Instagram. He 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:24.120 really every day he breaks down all that's happening as 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:26.680 far as the election is concerned. But he's a a 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:30.120 what do they call them? Uh A what is that? 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:34.600 The highest court in the land court attorney, like super 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:37.000 smart but also really funny and a little snarky, which 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:39.959 I love. But he really breaks it down. So I'm like, oh, 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:42.280 that's what's going on. So not only will he tell 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:44.280 you like what happened today legally as far as like 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.640 what's happening with the election, he will also kind of 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:47.960 like give you like a heads up of what to 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:50.920 think about and look for moving forward. And so I 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:52.520 did hear him say that last night. I was watching 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:54.880 him last night, him saying like, Okay, today it was 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:56.880 kind of like the day. And then they have to 0:08:56.880 --> 0:08:59.199 bring it to I think, like you said, I guess 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:00.679 they got to bring to Congo. But even if the 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:04.640 vice president refuses to acknowledge Joe Biden A's vice president, 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:08.080 that's a new formality. It's not necessary for it's not 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:10.560 it's not a necessary component for it to for it 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:12.800 to be legally binding. So I was like, Okay, good, 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:13.240 good to know. 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:15.400 Yeah, well, I mean I'm good to know. There's just 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:19.400 all these opportunities. I guess on the flip side, I wouldn't. 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:22.480 I would be a little annoyed if I to find 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:24.480 it would be too easy to become president. I mean, 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:26.960 we have all these little stop gap measures, but I 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:30.400 mean when the Supreme Court says, listen, Texas, get out 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:34.600 of our faces with this bogus lawsuit, and like most 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:38.600 of them did so it's it's over. Oh Rio learned 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:40.480 a new trick, though this is also a news update. 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:42.120 He knows how to open the basement door, so all 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:45.080 bets are off. There is no lock on this door, 0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:49.120 so he is now the Superman of our podcast, except 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:53.480 he screams when he enters. Oh goodness, did you see 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:59.640 the controversy over Cardi b now her tweet? She apparently 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:02.480 tweet did like a question about should she buy it 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:06.760 eighty eight eighty eight or eighty thousand dollars perse handbag? 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:09.600 And Twitter was not having it. They're like, in the 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:12.040 middle of a pandemic and an economic crisis, you would 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:14.600 like to ask your fans on Twitter if you should 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:17.320 spend eighty thousand dollars on a handbag? And she got 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:20.120 a little snippy with people in return. But I don't 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:22.920 think Cardi is the only one. Like you've seen celebrities 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:25.760 like they still post there and it's not just like celebrities. 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:28.640 I'm bad at anybody out here frivolously spending but also 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:33.920 just frivolously unmasking, gathering like you know, posting pictures of 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.760 just out of touch with reality, you know. So Cardi 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:40.640 got dragged just just a little bit yike. 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:45.280 I mean yeah, cause here's the thing, I don't know 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.040 who's I was watching, So like, have your gathering if 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.560 that's what you want, But why do you feel the 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.800 need to have to share your shenanigans. Yeah, it's almost 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:57.400 like you can't enjoy unless you feel like people feel 0:10:57.640 --> 0:10:59.679 less than And I used to have like a remember 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:01.880 we talk earlier when we first started a podcast about 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:04.439 the bully friend. Oh yes, yes, right, I used to 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.240 have like a bully friend in college who literally if 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:10.040 I thought a guy was cute, she would go after 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:11.559 him and like get his number. But oh my god, 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:14.000 I got Randy's number and I'd be like okay, and 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:16.400 she's like, are you mad, I'm like no, I mean 0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:18.920 I just said that guy in science is cute. I mean, like, 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:22.200 we don't have a baby to gether like. And so 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.920 it took me a while to realize that, oh, she's 0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:27.720 doing that intentionally. If I say someone is cute, she 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.800 goes after them because it's like she can't feel good 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.280 about what she has unless she feels like she has 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:36.440 one up on someone. So clearly we're no longer friends. 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:39.720 But some people that's social media in a nutshew though, yes, right, 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:41.800 that's why I haven't been posting. And while there's nothing 0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:46.080 to post, nothing, people uh jealous of just me in 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:49.440 a house, crying sometimes in the corner, but mostly having 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:51.679 a good time watching Sasame Street and working. 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:53.840 And that's why I honestly, I mean like thank God, 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:55.599 like you know, because I honestly, if I had a 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:57.640 Tiffany and Let page, there'd be nothing on there. So 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:00.720 with the budgets, you know, we're just posting here's how 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:03.960 to save and here's how to budget, and yeah, I 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:05.719 don't even I mean, I feel that's what I love 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.120 about our podcast because you know, we can talk about 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:10.400 Rio and then I'll talk about Superman, you talk about husband, 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.040 because I hear I'm a little more candid, but I 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:15.640 don't really share those things like I used to on 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:19.160 social because it's not super weird. But sometimes it's gotten 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:21.679 a little bit weird with people googling who my husband 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:26.720 was or stuff like that. And I was just like, yeah, so. 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:31.400 That the people want to know. Somebody actually were like, yeah, 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:33.439 I know, this podcast lives on forever, but it's a 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:35.760 lot harder. I feel like to go back and hear, 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:39.560 you know, recently, something someone said versus, you know, just 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:43.480 scrolling and plucking out a bad Instagram. So yeah, I've 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:46.840 always been a little weary of the social the social lensa. 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:49.599 It was so much fun social, so much fun. It 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.480 was like your friends, You're like, oh, it's rage to 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:53.160 post the supers all the time. Remember, I was like 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:58.080 super Girls, Superman, super fam. And then like one day, 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:00.760 like one of one of my friends was like, my 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:02.959 cousin is really weird. She asked me if you guys 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.319 broke up because you don't post this Superman as much. 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.600 I was like, what, Well, first of all, why is 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:10.920 she concerned? And even if we did break up, which 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:15.240 we have not, Oh, why does she care? Like but 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.880 it was like more like it wasn't like oh, it 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:20.559 was like is she okay? Can you ask your friend 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:23.400 about Denise if she's okay? Because she doesn't posted Man anymore. 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.240 So I'm just assuming that they broke up. I was 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.320 almost like she was trying to get tea. I was like, ah, 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:29.280 my life. So I was like, you know what, I 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:30.800 just posted him on his birthday and even then I 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:32.840 post both of them. I'm like, guess which one You'll 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:33.199 never know? 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:38.560 Yeah, I feel what's interesting earlier you talked about I forget, 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.600 oh something about clubhouse. How you can just like you know, 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.319 you can talk even to yourself. And I just I 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:45.240 kind of hit a wall this weekend and I took 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:46.959 myself out of the game. I took myself out of 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:48.480 the house. I was like, I have to go. I 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:52.520 literally just as something snapped and I was like, I 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:54.360 I have an errand to run and I just left 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:57.760 my husband and it was like, okay, bye, I haven't 0:13:57.760 --> 0:13:59.319 been out the house in like two weeks. It's been 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:01.719 a long long time time, Like literally, have not left you. 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:05.240 I never except to decorate the house for Christmas, so 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:07.880 haven't left my yard, I guess. And I just I 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.280 don't know I had this. I guess it was just anxiety, 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.000 pure and simple. My anxiety is coming back and and 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.160 well not coming back. It's always there, but she's you know, 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:19.120 she she was a little harrier and scarier last week, 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.880 and hence the not sleeping. And it just felt a 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:25.320 little too too much like like February twenty twenty to me, 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.720 you know, back when I was at my peak anxiety. 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:30.280 But I am a stronger and smarter person, so I 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:33.120 actually did something this time. I left the house and 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:35.560 I ended up looking. I just got a coffee from Starbucks, 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.720 a nice little latte, and I went and I just 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:39.920 sat in a parking lot in the car and I 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:43.120 just sat there and that's all I could do. I 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:46.200 was like I had all this like boxes and bags 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.640 in the trunk, like returns to different stores, and I 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:50.960 did have errands to run. But I don't know if 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:52.640 you've ever felt that way, but I just was like, 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:54.520 I just don't want to do it. I don't want 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:56.400 to drive, I don't want to I'm just gonna sit here. 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:58.600 And then I ended up I pulled out my voice 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:02.160 memo app and I just like because it just it 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:04.960 didn't feel like the kind of thing that was right 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:08.120 for social media. It just felt too raw. But it 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:10.800 really made me feel better, like just talking out into 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:13.240 the air and just sitting there. And then I got 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:16.480 some lunch and then I went home, and I'm going 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:21.200 to call that self care. Like part of me is like, maybe, 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:22.960 like why didn't you go for a walk, Why didn't 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:24.840 you do the peloton? Like maybe you could have, you know, 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:27.840 moved your body, but it just even the body didn't 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:30.280 want to be moved. It was just sit your ass 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:33.840 down and you know, just be for a little while. 0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:36.800 I feel a lot better now. I'm getting sleep, I'm 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:41.640 doing my breathing exercises and uh, you know, I've even 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:45.720 I really have leaned on meditation these past few months especially, 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:48.440 so I'm starting to do that again and I'm getting 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:51.840 her under control. I'm the beast is always there, the 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:53.840 beast of anxiety. But you know, I'm just I'm just 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:56.520 combing her hair, smoothing it out, you know, giving her 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:59.920 a little treat. Do you just stay there, staying your 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.600 stay at your spot so I can, you know, get 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:05.400 on with my life. But I forgot. It reminded me 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:08.200 how when it creeps back up like that and you 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:11.000 hit and you get it's so hard to break out 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.720 of it. And it's it brought me back, and I 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:15.800 was like, I do not, Nope, do not want to 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:20.760 return to this place. But I'm I'm a lot better now, 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:21.720 a lot better now. 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.960 Good, And I'm glad you recognize and said, no, I'm 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.040 going to take a break in recognizing that a break. 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:30.400 It's not it's not always tuloom. Sometimes it's just sitting 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.600 in the car, you know, Well, I think. 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:34.640 It's just it feels so suffocating now because and it 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.880 reminded me again. It just brought me back to like 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:40.800 maternity leave, because maternity leave in my peak anxiety because 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:43.440 it just feels like there's nowhere safe to go, and 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.040 it also feels you feel insane because it looks like 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:48.840 everyone else is going there. Like I know, the parking 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:51.120 lot was lit at that strip mall, and I, you know, 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:52.640 and I watched a lot of people come and go 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:55.320 for those forty five minutes. And I even went there 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:57.480 to avoid the mall because I knew that the mall 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.920 would be, you know, busy. But and I'm just say, 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:03.120 am I insane? Am I the only one who cares? 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:06.600 And also I desperately want to go somewhere but nothing, 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:10.359 you know, it's just yeah, I nothing feels safe, and 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:13.560 so I just you know, I social distanced myself in 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:16.119 my car and that was that. 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.359 Well, you got a break. So that's what matters most. 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:21.320 I had my first So remember, you know I said 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:26.000 I hired Stephanie my my my therapist finder. So many 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:33.040 of y'all have flooded her so which I love because therapy, help, coaching, whatever, 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:36.720 everyone needs a little boost, you know. Yeah, So when 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:38.720 I met with Stephanie. As we were talking through things, 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:40.960 she kept saying, I don't know if therapy is what 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:42.919 I'm hearing. She's like, I'm not saying everyone doesn't need 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.760 therapy at some point, you know, which I myself throughout college, 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:47.800 I had therapy because I was really struggling. But she 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:51.040 was like, the things that you are struggling with, Tiffany, 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.600 she said, therapy really unearthed some of the past things 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:57.479 and the things that like you sound like you're struggling 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:00.480 with is really present things like you know, like cause 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.520 I was like, I'm overwhelmed with being a CEO of 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.480 too many dad gone companies and all the things I 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:07.080 put on my plate and setting boundaries. And she was like, 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:09.399 when I when you talk about some of the trauma 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:12.200 from your past, you talk about it in a healthy way, 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:13.520 which shows me you've done a lot of the work, 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:15.640 which I have. And she was like, it's just even 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:21.000 the way your relationships are, it shows that you've done enough, 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:22.760 so much work, so much so that you can have 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:26.679 healthy relationships and it's not holding you from moving forward, 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:29.320 you know, like you obviously you know you're you're productive 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:30.960 or whatever. And I was like, this is true. So 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.280 she's like, I'm not saying I'm not throwing out therapy altogether, 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:37.359 but I really feel like coaching might be more of 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.520 an alignment. I was like, okay, Like I said, therapy 0:18:40.680 --> 0:18:43.359 is past, coaching is present. And I was like, okay, 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.960 so cannet coaching, yeah, because I wish I've never had before. 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:49.320 I was like, I mean, I've had executive coaching as 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:53.320 far as coaching specifically for like this business, because we're 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:55.320 gonna you know, like I've I've had. I just did 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:57.280 that this year, which was very helpful. So I was 0:18:57.320 --> 0:18:59.080 always kind of not gonna lie. I felt life life 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:02.720 coaching sound a little scammy spammy. But what I did 0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:05.639