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Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, Hey we're back. We're black, We're brown, he manage.
Speaker 2: Hey. Happy brand Ambition Wednesday to you and yours you
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel extra chipper today.
Speaker 2: Oh please pass. The world needs that chipper energy, you know.
Speaker 1: I think it's more exhaustion because I feel like you
Speaker 1: know how you feel Loopy're like you know what? It's manic,
Speaker 1: That's what it is.
Speaker 2: I mean, well, honestly, it's better that than the opposite.
Speaker 2: I felt like I had the toxic energy you know
Speaker 2: when you're just like a negative thought spiral and everything
Speaker 2: is like you mad at everything. I even went and
Speaker 2: deleted some things that posted on Instagram because I'm like,
Speaker 2: nobody needs your anger and your sarcasm right now. Like
Speaker 2: I did not like who I was last week, and
Speaker 2: it was all down to lack of sleep.
Speaker 1: Oh. I remember, like in back on Facebook, like I
Speaker 1: guess I must have been posted like sad, like this
Speaker 1: is like when Facebook. When I first got on Facebook
Speaker 1: and I think I had broken up with my boyfriend
Speaker 1: at time, and like one of my friends hit me.
Speaker 1: I was like, so, someone, because according to your Facebook post,
Speaker 1: because it was like they're all cryptic, like love is
Speaker 1: a fleeting butterfly.
Speaker 2: Man, I don't don't do that was like peak two
Speaker 2: thousand and like eight when people used to post on
Speaker 2: Facebook if you know me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh gosh, so yeah, so.
Speaker 2: Oh goodness, Well I'm glad that you are. You know, well,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm glad. I don't know. I don't know how to.
Speaker 1: Ye honestly, I feel good. It's just that, you know,
Speaker 1: I feel it's like a super busy day.
Speaker 2: But you must be good busy.
Speaker 1: Have you been on the club of the house listen.
Speaker 2: I felt really cool for all of forty five minutes
Speaker 2: after you gave me my secret invitation to the clubhouse app.
Speaker 2: Because as soon as like, I don't know, it's like
Speaker 2: the next day, or maybe it's just because you know,
Speaker 2: once someone tells you that something, you know you'd see
Speaker 2: a pattern in the universe, like, oh, yeah, I see
Speaker 2: that pattern everywhere, but now it's like clubhouse everywhere. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I've clubhouse is like this, what kind of app would
Speaker 2: we call it? It's it's a thought a listener leadership app.
Speaker 2: You listen to people having conversations about yeah, about adding anything. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I would say, here, it's an audio app, I guess.
Speaker 1: So think about like if you were doing a Facebook
Speaker 1: live but there's no visual but sometimes you can talk
Speaker 1: by yourself and people will listen, or you can like
Speaker 1: bring your friends on literally the stage and like talk
Speaker 1: and I go. Like the first couple of times I
Speaker 1: went on, I hated it. I'm like, this is stupid,
Speaker 1: until I actually went into a room that was a
Speaker 1: good room and I was like, oh, like last night,
Speaker 1: I was in a room listening and they were talking
Speaker 1: about like Facebook ads and how to maximize them, and
Speaker 1: it was like some really great people and there was
Speaker 1: like even some Facebook people from Facebook in it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, this is really this is really helpful.
Speaker 1: So but I would say, I venture to say a
Speaker 1: good eighty percent of the time if I go take
Speaker 1: a peek, I'm like no, no, no, no, trash track stretch,
Speaker 1: like I'll just like you can go, and I guess
Speaker 1: it's called the hallway as soon as you log in
Speaker 1: and you see all the conversations happening, and I'm like nope, nope, nope.
Speaker 1: But then they're twenty percent of the time where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: the title is interesting and usually something about business, and
Speaker 1: I'll poke my head in and sometimes I get some
Speaker 1: really great so I'll do work as I listen and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's really great, fee but I didn't
Speaker 1: know that, or like, for example, there'll be tools, like
Speaker 1: it was one really great conversation about business and marketing
Speaker 1: and they were sharing all of the tools they use,
Speaker 1: like oh, I use instead of link and Bio for Instagram,
Speaker 1: I use whatever you know, Beacon, dot ao or I
Speaker 1: use this instead of infusion soft. So yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 1: can be.
Speaker 2: There's it seems like there's something for everybody. It feels
Speaker 2: like when I when I went on there, and you know,
Speaker 2: it pulls up your contacts, you can follow people and whatnot,
Speaker 2: and it was like everybody black. It was everybody black,
Speaker 2: and my poss felt like it was on Clubhouse but
Speaker 2: the icon. I was looking at the icon for the
Speaker 2: app and it's like a white lady and I'm like,
Speaker 2: what are they trying to retract or what are they
Speaker 2: staying here? But then it's true black guy, So I
Speaker 2: guess they just like switch out there.
Speaker 1: Yes, let me tell you about So when Clubhouse first started,
Speaker 1: it was filled with like all these white guys, you know,
Speaker 1: like all the investors in Silicon Valley. And then you know,
Speaker 1: we are us as in Brown Ambition us, we are
Speaker 1: the kings and queens of social So as they started
Speaker 1: to open up to like entertainment, so there were some
Speaker 1: people that were just hand invited, like hey you, hey you,
Speaker 1: hey you, hey you, and then the black people took
Speaker 1: over because I was asking, I said, I asked a
Speaker 1: friend of mine who was like one of the early
Speaker 1: adopters or whatever. I said, like, am I just seeing
Speaker 1: rooms with black people because I'm black? Is it just
Speaker 1: showing me? You know how like Instagram's like are you black?
Speaker 1: You want to see this? He was like, no, that
Speaker 1: the white people have disappeared?
Speaker 2: Is it like the Tommy Hill figure of apps? Like
Speaker 2: Tommy Hill figure in nineteen ninety four?
Speaker 1: So one said that clubhouse is the pole of apps?
Speaker 2: Wait has that happened until to them or to Loop? Whatever?
Speaker 1: Yes, poor to Loom someone said, to Loom got to
Speaker 1: be tired because everyone is my friend love you said that.
Speaker 1: She was like, girl to Loom is tired. I wish
Speaker 1: you to leave that girl alone. So so yeah, So
Speaker 1: because I was wondering and I was like, oh, maybe
Speaker 1: they just show me, He's like, no, we have totally
Speaker 1: taken over that app. And like all of the early
Speaker 1: adopters and you know, Silicon Valley guys like you'll you'll
Speaker 1: see every once in a while because it does kind
Speaker 1: of you you see the rooms based upon like you know,
Speaker 1: kind of who you follow, but then you can explore
Speaker 1: other rooms. The app is like it feels like eighty
Speaker 1: percent blackly black black black.
Speaker 2: So there's that house you're welcome. But yeah, I I
Speaker 2: also but to answer your question, no, I haven't had
Speaker 2: I haven't been able to spend much time on it.
Speaker 1: But I've been poking.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna lurk. I'm a lurker, Okay. I didn't even
Speaker 2: start tiktoking till like way after people my age like
Speaker 2: made jokes about how they're too old too, you know,
Speaker 2: learn the choreography and then learned it like I was
Speaker 2: maybe October. I sort of tiktoking, and then I stopped
Speaker 2: promptly about a month after I started, but never.
Speaker 1: To get into TikTok. What's that I never got into TikTok.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of personal finance TikTokers, and I
Speaker 2: need to It's really funny, really, And I not only that,
Speaker 2: but I like, I've found out more about my vagina
Speaker 2: from some doctor's TikTok than I've ever learned from like
Speaker 2: going really yeah, it was like a quick sixty second
Speaker 2: TikTok on like the health of your vagina, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh wow, oh oh okay, So shout out
Speaker 2: to uh the professionals trying to reach the youths and
Speaker 2: random older millennials out there, But uh, what else is
Speaker 2: so the news today which I don't even know, I
Speaker 2: sort of had seen on CNN on the background, but
Speaker 2: I guess we have to congratulate Joe Biden for being
Speaker 2: president again for like.
Speaker 1: The hunger time. So did oh did they all get
Speaker 1: all his electors called the electorates, they were all whatever.
Speaker 2: Put in Well he got well over two seventy like
Speaker 2: they called California before I came down here to record,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, Okay, congrats is really overcheck because it is, And.
Speaker 1: It's not because I don't the elector don't they have
Speaker 1: to like go.
Speaker 2: To like have to go to Congress or something like.
Speaker 1: That, and then the vice president has to like even
Speaker 1: if the good thing is because if you guys are
Speaker 1: not following following my fave Neil katal on Instagram. He
Speaker 1: really every day he breaks down all that's happening as
Speaker 1: far as the election is concerned. But he's a a
Speaker 1: what do they call them? Uh A what is that?
Speaker 1: The highest court in the land court attorney, like super
Speaker 1: smart but also really funny and a little snarky, which
Speaker 1: I love. But he really breaks it down. So I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's what's going on. So not only will he tell
Speaker 1: you like what happened today legally as far as like
Speaker 1: what's happening with the election, he will also kind of
Speaker 1: like give you like a heads up of what to
Speaker 1: think about and look for moving forward. And so I
Speaker 1: did hear him say that last night. I was watching
Speaker 1: him last night, him saying like, Okay, today it was
Speaker 1: kind of like the day. And then they have to
Speaker 1: bring it to I think, like you said, I guess
Speaker 1: they got to bring to Congo. But even if the
Speaker 1: vice president refuses to acknowledge Joe Biden A's vice president,
Speaker 1: that's a new formality. It's not necessary for it's not
Speaker 1: it's not a necessary component for it to for it
Speaker 1: to be legally binding. So I was like, Okay, good,
Speaker 1: good to know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean I'm good to know. There's just
Speaker 2: all these opportunities. I guess on the flip side, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I would be a little annoyed if I to find
Speaker 2: it would be too easy to become president. I mean,
Speaker 2: we have all these little stop gap measures, but I
Speaker 2: mean when the Supreme Court says, listen, Texas, get out
Speaker 2: of our faces with this bogus lawsuit, and like most
Speaker 2: of them did so it's it's over. Oh Rio learned
Speaker 2: a new trick, though this is also a news update.
Speaker 2: He knows how to open the basement door, so all
Speaker 2: bets are off. There is no lock on this door,
Speaker 2: so he is now the Superman of our podcast, except
Speaker 2: he screams when he enters. Oh goodness, did you see
Speaker 2: the controversy over Cardi b now her tweet? She apparently
Speaker 2: tweet did like a question about should she buy it
Speaker 2: eighty eight eighty eight or eighty thousand dollars perse handbag?
Speaker 2: And Twitter was not having it. They're like, in the
Speaker 2: middle of a pandemic and an economic crisis, you would
Speaker 2: like to ask your fans on Twitter if you should
Speaker 2: spend eighty thousand dollars on a handbag? And she got
Speaker 2: a little snippy with people in return. But I don't
Speaker 2: think Cardi is the only one. Like you've seen celebrities
Speaker 2: like they still post there and it's not just like celebrities.
Speaker 2: I'm bad at anybody out here frivolously spending but also
Speaker 2: just frivolously unmasking, gathering like you know, posting pictures of
Speaker 2: just out of touch with reality, you know. So Cardi
Speaker 2: got dragged just just a little bit yike.
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, cause here's the thing, I don't know
Speaker 1: who's I was watching, So like, have your gathering if
Speaker 1: that's what you want, But why do you feel the
Speaker 1: need to have to share your shenanigans. Yeah, it's almost
Speaker 1: like you can't enjoy unless you feel like people feel
Speaker 1: less than And I used to have like a remember
Speaker 1: we talk earlier when we first started a podcast about
Speaker 1: the bully friend. Oh yes, yes, right, I used to
Speaker 1: have like a bully friend in college who literally if
Speaker 1: I thought a guy was cute, she would go after
Speaker 1: him and like get his number. But oh my god,
Speaker 1: I got Randy's number and I'd be like okay, and
Speaker 1: she's like, are you mad, I'm like no, I mean
Speaker 1: I just said that guy in science is cute. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: we don't have a baby to gether like. And so
Speaker 1: it took me a while to realize that, oh, she's
Speaker 1: doing that intentionally. If I say someone is cute, she
Speaker 1: goes after them because it's like she can't feel good
Speaker 1: about what she has unless she feels like she has
Speaker 1: one up on someone. So clearly we're no longer friends.
Speaker 2: But some people that's social media in a nutshew though, yes, right,
Speaker 2: that's why I haven't been posting. And while there's nothing
Speaker 2: to post, nothing, people uh jealous of just me in
Speaker 2: a house, crying sometimes in the corner, but mostly having
Speaker 2: a good time watching Sasame Street and working.
Speaker 1: And that's why I honestly, I mean like thank God,
Speaker 1: like you know, because I honestly, if I had a
Speaker 1: Tiffany and Let page, there'd be nothing on there. So
Speaker 1: with the budgets, you know, we're just posting here's how
Speaker 1: to save and here's how to budget, and yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't even I mean, I feel that's what I love
Speaker 1: about our podcast because you know, we can talk about
Speaker 1: Rio and then I'll talk about Superman, you talk about husband,
Speaker 1: because I hear I'm a little more candid, but I
Speaker 1: don't really share those things like I used to on
Speaker 1: social because it's not super weird. But sometimes it's gotten
Speaker 1: a little bit weird with people googling who my husband
Speaker 1: was or stuff like that. And I was just like, yeah, so.
Speaker 2: That the people want to know. Somebody actually were like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I know, this podcast lives on forever, but it's a
Speaker 2: lot harder. I feel like to go back and hear,
Speaker 2: you know, recently, something someone said versus, you know, just
Speaker 2: scrolling and plucking out a bad Instagram. So yeah, I've
Speaker 2: always been a little weary of the social the social lensa.
Speaker 1: It was so much fun social, so much fun. It
Speaker 1: was like your friends, You're like, oh, it's rage to
Speaker 1: post the supers all the time. Remember, I was like
Speaker 1: super Girls, Superman, super fam. And then like one day,
Speaker 1: like one of one of my friends was like, my
Speaker 1: cousin is really weird. She asked me if you guys
Speaker 1: broke up because you don't post this Superman as much.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, Well, first of all, why is
Speaker 1: she concerned? And even if we did break up, which
Speaker 1: we have not, Oh, why does she care? Like but
Speaker 1: it was like more like it wasn't like oh, it
Speaker 1: was like is she okay? Can you ask your friend
Speaker 1: about Denise if she's okay? Because she doesn't posted Man anymore.
Speaker 1: So I'm just assuming that they broke up. I was
Speaker 1: almost like she was trying to get tea. I was like, ah,
Speaker 1: my life. So I was like, you know what, I
Speaker 1: just posted him on his birthday and even then I
Speaker 1: post both of them. I'm like, guess which one You'll
Speaker 1: never know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel what's interesting earlier you talked about I forget,
Speaker 2: oh something about clubhouse. How you can just like you know,
Speaker 2: you can talk even to yourself. And I just I
Speaker 2: kind of hit a wall this weekend and I took
Speaker 2: myself out of the game. I took myself out of
Speaker 2: the house. I was like, I have to go. I
Speaker 2: literally just as something snapped and I was like, I
Speaker 2: I have an errand to run and I just left
Speaker 2: my husband and it was like, okay, bye, I haven't
Speaker 2: been out the house in like two weeks. It's been
Speaker 2: a long long time time, Like literally, have not left you.
Speaker 2: I never except to decorate the house for Christmas, so
Speaker 2: haven't left my yard, I guess. And I just I
Speaker 2: don't know I had this. I guess it was just anxiety,
Speaker 2: pure and simple. My anxiety is coming back and and
Speaker 2: well not coming back. It's always there, but she's you know,
Speaker 2: she she was a little harrier and scarier last week,
Speaker 2: and hence the not sleeping. And it just felt a
Speaker 2: little too too much like like February twenty twenty to me,
Speaker 2: you know, back when I was at my peak anxiety.
Speaker 2: But I am a stronger and smarter person, so I
Speaker 2: actually did something this time. I left the house and
Speaker 2: I ended up looking. I just got a coffee from Starbucks,
Speaker 2: a nice little latte, and I went and I just
Speaker 2: sat in a parking lot in the car and I
Speaker 2: just sat there and that's all I could do. I
Speaker 2: was like I had all this like boxes and bags
Speaker 2: in the trunk, like returns to different stores, and I
Speaker 2: did have errands to run. But I don't know if
Speaker 2: you've ever felt that way, but I just was like,
Speaker 2: I just don't want to do it. I don't want
Speaker 2: to drive, I don't want to I'm just gonna sit here.
Speaker 2: And then I ended up I pulled out my voice
Speaker 2: memo app and I just like because it just it
Speaker 2: didn't feel like the kind of thing that was right
Speaker 2: for social media. It just felt too raw. But it
Speaker 2: really made me feel better, like just talking out into
Speaker 2: the air and just sitting there. And then I got
Speaker 2: some lunch and then I went home, and I'm going
Speaker 2: to call that self care. Like part of me is like, maybe,
Speaker 2: like why didn't you go for a walk, Why didn't
Speaker 2: you do the peloton? Like maybe you could have, you know,
Speaker 2: moved your body, but it just even the body didn't
Speaker 2: want to be moved. It was just sit your ass
Speaker 2: down and you know, just be for a little while.
Speaker 2: I feel a lot better now. I'm getting sleep, I'm
Speaker 2: doing my breathing exercises and uh, you know, I've even
Speaker 2: I really have leaned on meditation these past few months especially,
Speaker 2: so I'm starting to do that again and I'm getting
Speaker 2: her under control. I'm the beast is always there, the
Speaker 2: beast of anxiety. But you know, I'm just I'm just
Speaker 2: combing her hair, smoothing it out, you know, giving her
Speaker 2: a little treat. Do you just stay there, staying your
Speaker 2: stay at your spot so I can, you know, get
Speaker 2: on with my life. But I forgot. It reminded me
Speaker 2: how when it creeps back up like that and you
Speaker 2: hit and you get it's so hard to break out
Speaker 2: of it. And it's it brought me back, and I
Speaker 2: was like, I do not, Nope, do not want to
Speaker 2: return to this place. But I'm I'm a lot better now,
Speaker 2: a lot better now.
Speaker 1: Good, And I'm glad you recognize and said, no, I'm
Speaker 1: going to take a break in recognizing that a break.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not always tuloom. Sometimes it's just sitting
Speaker 1: in the car, you know, Well, I think.
Speaker 2: It's just it feels so suffocating now because and it
Speaker 2: reminded me again. It just brought me back to like
Speaker 2: maternity leave, because maternity leave in my peak anxiety because
Speaker 2: it just feels like there's nowhere safe to go, and
Speaker 2: it also feels you feel insane because it looks like
Speaker 2: everyone else is going there. Like I know, the parking
Speaker 2: lot was lit at that strip mall, and I, you know,
Speaker 2: and I watched a lot of people come and go
Speaker 2: for those forty five minutes. And I even went there
Speaker 2: to avoid the mall because I knew that the mall
Speaker 2: would be, you know, busy. But and I'm just say,
Speaker 2: am I insane? Am I the only one who cares?
Speaker 2: And also I desperately want to go somewhere but nothing,
Speaker 2: you know, it's just yeah, I nothing feels safe, and
Speaker 2: so I just you know, I social distanced myself in
Speaker 2: my car and that was that.
Speaker 1: Well, you got a break. So that's what matters most.
Speaker 1: I had my first So remember, you know I said
Speaker 1: I hired Stephanie my my my therapist finder. So many
Speaker 1: of y'all have flooded her so which I love because therapy, help, coaching, whatever,
Speaker 1: everyone needs a little boost, you know. Yeah, So when
Speaker 1: I met with Stephanie. As we were talking through things,
Speaker 1: she kept saying, I don't know if therapy is what
Speaker 1: I'm hearing. She's like, I'm not saying everyone doesn't need
Speaker 1: therapy at some point, you know, which I myself throughout college,
Speaker 1: I had therapy because I was really struggling. But she
Speaker 1: was like, the things that you are struggling with, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: she said, therapy really unearthed some of the past things
Speaker 1: and the things that like you sound like you're struggling
Speaker 1: with is really present things like you know, like cause
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm overwhelmed with being a CEO of
Speaker 1: too many dad gone companies and all the things I
Speaker 1: put on my plate and setting boundaries. And she was like,
Speaker 1: when I when you talk about some of the trauma
Speaker 1: from your past, you talk about it in a healthy way,
Speaker 1: which shows me you've done a lot of the work,
Speaker 1: which I have. And she was like, it's just even
Speaker 1: the way your relationships are, it shows that you've done enough,
Speaker 1: so much work, so much so that you can have
Speaker 1: healthy relationships and it's not holding you from moving forward,
Speaker 1: you know, like you obviously you know you're you're productive
Speaker 1: or whatever. And I was like, this is true. So
Speaker 1: she's like, I'm not saying I'm not throwing out therapy altogether,
Speaker 1: but I really feel like coaching might be more of
Speaker 1: an alignment. I was like, okay, Like I said, therapy
Speaker 1: is past, coaching is present. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: so cannet coaching, yeah, because I wish I've never had before.
Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, I've had executive coaching as
Speaker 1: far as coaching specifically for like this business, because we're
Speaker 1: gonna you know, like I've I've had. I just did
Speaker 1: that this year, which was very helpful. So I was
Speaker 1: always kind of not gonna lie. I felt life life
Speaker 1: coaching sound a little scammy spammy. But what I did
Speaker 1: like about the coach she suggested is that this coach
Speaker 1: is a doctor and she's a therapist, but she has
Speaker 1: a doctorate as well, so she's a doctor. But so
Speaker 1: I was like okay. So she was like doctor Green
Speaker 1: is a therapist, but she has a coaching like component,
Speaker 1: like like, so she's not going to get because she
Speaker 1: separates the two. You can't get therapy and coaching at
Speaker 1: the same time. So I like that. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: she said, Now she said, the reason why I like
Speaker 1: doctor Green, is that as she's coaching you with the
Speaker 1: things that you're working through now, if she hears something
Speaker 1: that concerns her that she says, you know what this
Speaker 1: requires therapy, She's going to hear and know and then
Speaker 1: redirect you. So I was like, okay, I thought it
Speaker 1: was a perfect Honestly, Stephanie the therapy finder. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've already said like four friends to her and they've
Speaker 1: come back to me and said, girl, did you cry
Speaker 1: because I cried? I said, I cried? And then and
Speaker 1: then she's found them an amazing therapist or has given
Speaker 1: them the tool to move forward or not move forward
Speaker 1: with their current therapist, because Stephanie does that too, like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know it's my therapist. Now have I outgrown them?
Speaker 1: If you have those types of questions, She's just awesome.
Speaker 1: So anyway, she connected me with doctor Green. We had
Speaker 1: our first call on Friday. Man, d it was everything.
Speaker 1: I was like, she was exactly right. I didn't not
Speaker 1: that I've said, I won't say I don't need therapy,
Speaker 1: but what I'm really struggling with is not really my
Speaker 1: past stuff. It's just the current load of my life now.
Speaker 1: And so doctor Green, where we were really like working
Speaker 1: through and talking through. She gave me like some homework
Speaker 1: and it was just really good. Something that she said,
Speaker 1: I'll share this with you guys, something that she shared
Speaker 1: because we were I was sharing how I have a
Speaker 1: hard time setting boundaries and she was, you know, kind
Speaker 1: of unearthing the why, the why, the why, and you know,
Speaker 1: really what unearthed was that I don't want to be
Speaker 1: seen as difficult. And she said, well, what's the difficult person.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, people that you know that make people
Speaker 1: feel uneasy, people that make it harder for other people
Speaker 1: and this and that. She's like, okay, well, do you
Speaker 1: have any friends that are like, you know, pretty assertive whatever.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, some of my favorite friends,
Speaker 1: like my friend Mandy is really like clear and asserted,
Speaker 1: my friend Cabra, my friend really like the people who
Speaker 1: I talk to the most. And she said, do you
Speaker 1: think they're difficult? And I'm like no, and she was like,
Speaker 1: so only when you assert yourself it's difficult, but when
Speaker 1: your friends do, it's something that you admire and that's
Speaker 1: one of the reasons why you're friends with them. And
Speaker 1: I was like, say what now, because honestly, it is
Speaker 1: I realized that I surround myself with badass folks like you, Mandy,
Speaker 1: like for real, like you, my friend Cabra, my friend
Speaker 1: Rihanna went, I look, and I love the how like
Speaker 1: like just assertive and clear and the boundaries that you set.
Speaker 1: And yet I have told myself, if I do it,
Speaker 1: that's bad, Tiffany, but if you do it like, oh,
Speaker 1: look at Mandy go you know. So she was just
Speaker 1: like okay. So there was just like homework on Earth,
Speaker 1: those types of things. It was really, honestly, it was
Speaker 1: everything I left feeling of cross. I cried because you know,
Speaker 1: I'm such a cry baby. Meanwhile, I was crying. So
Speaker 1: we have a video chat, and my sister walked in like, hey,
Speaker 1: oh my dad. So I felt like she was Rio.
Speaker 1: I was like, look at Rio just opening the door.
Speaker 2: She didn't scream and throw something.
Speaker 1: But honestly, it was so good, and it just I've
Speaker 1: decided that I'm really going to put some real effort
Speaker 1: into self care, and not because self care is so
Speaker 1: easy to think, like your massages and your therapist or whatever,
Speaker 1: not just that like my on my shoulder, I haven't
Speaker 1: had full range of motion for a while. It's been
Speaker 1: really it was like hurting, and so I started. I'm
Speaker 1: on week two of physical therapy. I go three times
Speaker 1: a week, and I cleared that time on my calendar
Speaker 1: to make it work. I have on my list. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: let's go back to the dentist. You know, you's you
Speaker 1: didn't get your cleaning this year because you know, I
Speaker 1: was like, eh, dentists cleaning. I don't know about COVID
Speaker 1: mouth open, you know, but let's schedule that. So like
Speaker 1: really just scheduling all these so not just taking care
Speaker 1: of myself mentally and emotionally, but like what things physically
Speaker 1: have I not done? Like I'm like, okay, I got
Speaker 1: to go back to the because like I was supposed
Speaker 1: to do all the stuff she wanted me to do,
Speaker 1: and I was like I didn't. So I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: let me go back. So I'm just like excited about, like,
Speaker 1: you know, really making my overall health a top priority
Speaker 1: and you know that, you know, having that. I talk
Speaker 1: with doctor Green every two weeks. It's a six week program.
Speaker 1: I talk for heruth every two weeks, and my homework
Speaker 1: homework is I have to write a letter I have
Speaker 1: to my forty six year old self has to write
Speaker 1: a letter to my forty one year old self, because
Speaker 1: I have a big fear of like, like that something
Speaker 1: is going to happen, Like because everything right now my
Speaker 1: life is so good that I'm always I'm scared that,
Speaker 1: But what about when it's not good? And she's like, well,
Speaker 1: have your older self write you a letter now to
Speaker 1: talk about what you think life is like then, you know,
Speaker 1: to kind of allay those fears. And she's like, I
Speaker 1: would challenge you to say, so, let's pretend that you're right.
Speaker 1: In five years, it's not as good. The budget, he says,
Speaker 1: is not as poppin'. You know, maybe you're struggling with
Speaker 1: your with your relationship with your husband, You and your
Speaker 1: sisters are not as close. I was like, ah, she said,
Speaker 1: knowing that, what would you wish you knew if you
Speaker 1: if you knew that five years from now things are
Speaker 1: going to be harder, what would you wish you did now?
Speaker 1: I said, lean in more? She said exactly, like, so
Speaker 1: even if your worst fears are true, all the more
Speaker 1: reasons to lean in more. I was like, it was
Speaker 1: so good many honestly, it was so good, So.
Speaker 2: I don't don't really feel like crying on this show.
Speaker 1: So I just want to give you that those because
Speaker 1: I know I love you know, I trying to be
Speaker 1: obviously keep I keep things, obviously some stuff for myself.
Speaker 1: But I'm sharing that because I I know someone out
Speaker 1: there needs to hear and you know, and I feel
Speaker 1: like what I love about the show is that we share,
Speaker 1: you know, the hard things, the good things, the challenging things,
Speaker 1: and yeah, so I just wanted to kind of like
Speaker 1: slip that sizzle in spirit if you are needing to
Speaker 1: hear that, so but I will, I will leave it there.
Speaker 2: Well, thanks for sharing that. And I'm excited because I
Speaker 2: feel it's just not the It's been such a year
Speaker 2: and I think we've all spent the last year kind
Speaker 2: of figuring out what it is that we need because
Speaker 2: the coping strategies that used to get us through one
Speaker 2: bad week or one bad day just don't work for
Speaker 2: one bad year. And it's only gonna even if the
Speaker 2: worst never does come, being prepared for it mentally, emotionally,
Speaker 2: all spiritually, all of that is it can only be good.
Speaker 2: So thanks for sharing that, Tiff.
Speaker 1: No prob.
Speaker 2: Shall we take a quick break and come back with
Speaker 2: your questions let's get back to money and careers making
Speaker 2: that money.
Speaker 1: Off, and we're back with questions. Putas if you will.
Speaker 1: You didn't know I was bilingual. I am, well, I
Speaker 1: have one or two words you ask. My favorite part
Speaker 1: of the show. Questions, Questions, questions, Oh, questions, questions, questions,
Speaker 1: Questions come.
Speaker 2: On many in congo. Okay, yeah, right, like I.
Speaker 1: Want you, I want you. I need your shoulders moving.
Speaker 1: I can't see you, but I can feel you. Questions, questions. Question.
Speaker 2: If I move my shoulders, then the pillows that I
Speaker 2: have propped up to help with sound, they move, so
Speaker 2: I'm actually just hunched in the worst position ever.
Speaker 1: We'll go ahead with the questions, questions.
Speaker 2: Let's get to the question. Our first question comes from
Speaker 2: let's call her Brandy. Okay, Brandy says, how can I
Speaker 2: pay off twenty thousand dollars in debt on a fixed income?
Speaker 2: I have no real property and due to health I
Speaker 2: cannot get a job. Thank you. This is a whole
Speaker 2: lot of questions, and so if you were words.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, here's the thing. The best method that I
Speaker 1: have found out, it's slow and steady wins. The races
Speaker 1: of My dad used to say when we were kids.
Speaker 1: So I remember during the two thousand and eight recession,
Speaker 1: I had thirty five thousand dollars in credit card debt
Speaker 1: and I was living on unemployment, and so what I
Speaker 1: did was, honestly, I used the snowball method. And it's
Speaker 1: not fast, but it's slow and steady. And the way
Speaker 1: the snowball method works is that you pay off the
Speaker 1: debt with the lowest balance first, So well first and
Speaker 1: if you if for those, I'm going to describe it,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure I'm going to flow it up. You
Speaker 1: can always go to the budget east to the blog and
Speaker 1: type in snowball and then it I literally walk you through.
Speaker 1: So snowmall with it works like this. So you list
Speaker 1: your debt from the lowest to highest as far as
Speaker 1: balances are concerned, and then you have to look at
Speaker 1: your budget to find some money could set aside. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's twenty dollars, maybe it's ten dollars, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like set aside specific amount of money
Speaker 1: that you can like, Okay, I'm going to put this
Speaker 1: to accelerate the snowball method. So let's just pretend it's
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars. So you pay the minimum to all
Speaker 1: the debt on your list except for that smallest debt.
Speaker 1: You're gonna give it it's minimum plus that twenty five
Speaker 1: dollars you've set asign and then you're just going to
Speaker 1: keep paying that every month until that smallest debt is
Speaker 1: paid off. And now it might take three months, it
Speaker 1: might take three years, and that's okay. And then once
Speaker 1: you've paid off that debt, you roll over like a snowball.
Speaker 1: You roll over those two payments to the second smallest
Speaker 1: debt on your list. So the second smallest debt will
Speaker 1: almost essentially get three payments in one. It's going to
Speaker 1: get the first debt's minimum it's minimum plus that twenty
Speaker 1: five dollars you found from your from your budget, and
Speaker 1: so then you keep paying, paying, paying until that's paid off.
Speaker 1: Then you roll over again. The third smallest debt gets
Speaker 1: first debt's minimum, second debt's minimum it's minimum plus that
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars. So the magic, the reason why they
Speaker 1: call the snowball method is think about like the Bugs
Speaker 1: Bunny or whatever cartoons, when the snowball would start at
Speaker 1: the top of the hill and as it rolled it
Speaker 1: got bigger. So as you roll down your debt hill,
Speaker 1: you were going to be able to put bigger and
Speaker 1: bigger amounts toward your towards your balances, because you'll be
Speaker 1: collecting minimums along the way, like you collect snow on
Speaker 1: the snowball. And so if you do that, that's what
Speaker 1: I did. It took me. I had thirty five thousand
Speaker 1: dollars in credit card debt, and when I was on unemployment,
Speaker 1: it took me about three years to pay off that
Speaker 1: debt slowly but surely, slowly but surely. So it is possible.
Speaker 1: You're just gonna put You're gonna have to allocate. You
Speaker 1: have to find something in your budget. I don't know
Speaker 1: what kind of disability you have, but are there things
Speaker 1: you can do? Can you do focus groups online? Can
Speaker 1: you are? You don't because I know also with disability,
Speaker 1: if you're collecting disability, then you're limited and like the
Speaker 1: work that you can do, So I certainly don't want
Speaker 1: to say.
Speaker 2: Yeah. She doesn't specify exactly what kind of fixed income,
Speaker 2: but she does allude to the fact that you know,
Speaker 2: she can't work because of her health. So maybe it's
Speaker 2: Social Security disability income of some kind because she can't work.
Speaker 1: So maybe if you can't, like physically work, there might
Speaker 1: be other like at home things you can do. Because
Speaker 1: sometimes like I used to do, I don't do as
Speaker 1: many I used to do, like focus groups and stuff,
Speaker 1: and now more and more focus groups are digital so
Speaker 1: to earn little a little extra money on the side,
Speaker 1: So ask yourself, are there non physical things that you
Speaker 1: can do to earn money while you're home? There's you know,
Speaker 1: who is a great person to follow? Sandy Smith of
Speaker 1: Yes I Am Cheap. I believe that's her website, Yes
Speaker 1: I Am, or even sandysmith dot com where I am
Speaker 1: Sandy s A n. D ysmith dot com. She actually
Speaker 1: teaches all these different side hustles that you can do,
Speaker 1: many of which you know don't require any physical labor.
Speaker 1: So I would follow. I think like I said, I
Speaker 1: think it's I Am Sandy Smith or Yes I Am Cheap,
Speaker 1: and look for her side hustle. She has a Facebook
Speaker 1: group that she that she teaches people how to side hustle,
Speaker 1: and she's a great resource.
Speaker 2: I I love the snowball method. I think that that
Speaker 2: has been proven to work for so so so many
Speaker 2: people and with a normal I don't know about normal question,
Speaker 2: but without that many details what I what I hear?
Speaker 2: You know, the crux of the issue is fixed income,
Speaker 2: you know, depend no matter what the source is, it's
Speaker 2: not going to change. And twenty thousand dollars of debt
Speaker 2: sounds like a lot. And we don't know anything about
Speaker 2: how much income you get or if you have any assets.
Speaker 2: Already you say you don't have any property. I'm guessing
Speaker 2: if you had me would have said something. Honestly, I'm wondering,
Speaker 2: why not just file bankruptcy? Like twenty k in debt
Speaker 2: with no means to pay it, in a fixed income
Speaker 2: with no hopes of increasing like that, to me is
Speaker 2: just what bankruptcy was made for. And I don't think
Speaker 2: they're shame in that. And I personally, I'm like, I
Speaker 2: think there's two ways to go about it that Well,
Speaker 2: obviously there's two ways, either pay off the debt or
Speaker 2: you don't. But I would say, you know, bankruptcy is
Speaker 2: also an option, and to start that conversation, you know,
Speaker 2: you could reach out to a credit counselor through a
Speaker 2: nonprofit like the NFCC. We can put a link to
Speaker 2: that in the show notes and and see you know
Speaker 2: what that is like. But Bankruptcy is such a scary
Speaker 2: word and there's so much I guess there's a lot
Speaker 2: of stigma. I don't know personally, I don't have a
Speaker 2: stigma against it. I know people very close to me
Speaker 2: who have had to file bankruptcy and there's no shame. Uh,
Speaker 2: it's it's it's literally just what was provided to citizens
Speaker 2: as well as corporations when simply you do not have
Speaker 2: the means to handle, you know, the debts that you have.
Speaker 2: And it could be a case where maybe this debt
Speaker 2: was a crude prior to you know, becoming disabled or
Speaker 2: prior to you know, needing to live on a fixed income,
Speaker 2: and in that case, it's just you know, well, well
Speaker 2: that's that's the that's the hand that was dealt, and
Speaker 2: now you need to take advantage of the resources to
Speaker 2: take it out of it.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Just be mindful with, you know, applying for bankruptcy,
Speaker 1: cause sometimes they they really want you to have like
Speaker 1: next to nothing left over. So but yeah, I think
Speaker 1: Mandy's right that there's you have to do what's best
Speaker 1: for you at the end of the day, and if
Speaker 1: with if you're fixed, depending how much you might not
Speaker 1: have any money left over, that might be your only
Speaker 1: option right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we'll post I can post some links definitely
Speaker 2: to the snowball, because people get that confused with the
Speaker 2: avalanche all the time. There's all these different debt snow
Speaker 2: escape analogies, and then some links to bankruptcy resources, and
Speaker 2: certainly if there's you know, I don't know what where
Speaker 2: exactly you live. You don't mention the state, but there
Speaker 2: could be some state based resources too to help with
Speaker 2: credit counseling, you know, to kind of get at least
Speaker 2: conversation going about, you know, those options and weighing the
Speaker 2: pros and cons. Well, thank you very much for your question.
Speaker 2: What did I call her? Brandy? Brandy? Thanks for your question.
Speaker 2: All right, let's take another one. This one, Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: this one comes from the gram Let me get back. Okay,
Speaker 2: let's see du Gabby, Yes, Gabby, all right, Gabby has
Speaker 2: an interesting question. She's only twenty five years old and
Speaker 2: she's about to graduate from grad school and has a
Speaker 2: question about weighing different job opportunities. Okay, So Gabby says,
Speaker 2: I'm twenty five and I'm graduating from grad school with
Speaker 2: two master's degree. Damn girl, Criminal justice and Public Administration
Speaker 2: I've been in the job market and I just received
Speaker 2: an offer to work as a research and administrative associate
Speaker 2: for a small black owned business consulting firm. It seems great,
Speaker 2: they're offering me what I asked fifty K. But since then,
Speaker 2: since interviewing with them, I've gotten feedback from my peers
Speaker 2: that I may have undervalued myself. It's hard to tell
Speaker 2: these things because I'm currently earning thirty seven K, which
Speaker 2: feels embarrassingly low, but I've also been living that student life.
Speaker 2: I have a week to get back to their offer.
Speaker 2: So here's that's not the first That's just the first
Speaker 2: part of her question. So fifty k feeling undervalue, she
Speaker 2: has one week to do something about it. What comes next?
Speaker 2: Like any new grad, she's not just interviewed one place,
Speaker 2: but multiple. She says, I've also interviewed for a corporate
Speaker 2: analyst position at my current job, and I think that
Speaker 2: interview went very well, but it was only a couple
Speaker 2: of days ago. I feel that the corporate position has
Speaker 2: the potential to offer more money than my current offer,
Speaker 2: but do I chance it and turn down the other offer.
Speaker 2: In their interview, they said they hadn't settled on the salary,
Speaker 2: yet as a position is brand new, there's so many
Speaker 2: things to consider, and I'm happy to have an offer,
Speaker 2: but I'm so stressed out. What do you suggest I.
Speaker 1: Would be stressed out? Honestly, look, maybe I'm like looking
Speaker 1: like girl, I'm looking at you like I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean it's not if you think about it, like,
Speaker 2: it's not. Yes, it's salaries. But you know, if this
Speaker 2: were I don't know, an offer for a book deal
Speaker 2: or a speaking engagement, you know, and you maybe had negotiated,
Speaker 2: you know, one offer, and then another publisher or you
Speaker 2: know event you know, came to you with second offer,
Speaker 2: and like the second offer could be more, but you
Speaker 2: know it's not a done deal yet, and the other
Speaker 2: one is like ready to extend you an offer. It's
Speaker 2: like it's almost It reminds me I briefly watched Supermarket
Speaker 2: Sweeps and that wasn't I remember watching that as a kid,
Speaker 2: but I guess I forgot anyway, Leslie Jones is the host,
Speaker 2: and it's pretty hilarious, and I guess during the show,
Speaker 2: you you have to run and find the products based
Speaker 2: on a clue, and then at a certain point she's like,
Speaker 2: wait a second, either you can take this twenty five
Speaker 2: thousand dollars or you can get the next clue. And
Speaker 2: you have to make a decision. You know, what are
Speaker 2: you willing to risk? Are you willing to take the
Speaker 2: safe route get the money that's certain, or are you
Speaker 2: willing to wait and you know, see what's come down
Speaker 2: the line, knowing that you could lose everything. And it's
Speaker 2: just that like game show stress, you know.
Speaker 1: What would you do? I know me, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: a risk averse, but I would hope that I would
Speaker 1: go back to the first offer because it sounds like
Speaker 1: you seemed excited about it and just say hi, after
Speaker 1: doing a little research. I want to push back a
Speaker 1: little and say blah blah blah blah blah, like I
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know what your friends or what
Speaker 1: your research has found. Push back and say that, because
Speaker 1: if they've made you an offer, they're interested. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: The worst thing they can say is, uh, this is
Speaker 1: as much as we're able, you know. But then the
Speaker 1: offer I'm assuming would still stand, right, Mandy, is it's
Speaker 1: not standard. If I were to come back and ask
Speaker 1: for more than you'd be like, well, it's off the table. Altogether.
Speaker 2: I actually just was talking to a good friend of mine.
Speaker 2: She was applying for a job, and she was really
Speaker 2: really excited, and I was like, you better negotiate, and
Speaker 2: she sent them an email asking for more and it
Speaker 2: was like a Friday afternoon, and she sweated it the
Speaker 2: whole weekend. She's like, I haven't heard back, and I've
Speaker 2: been in that position so many times, and I know
Speaker 2: exactly what's happening. It's a company, so that person who's
Speaker 2: hiring or doing the recruiting has to ask for approval,
Speaker 2: and it's a Friday afternoon, so they can't just you know,
Speaker 2: get a response right away, so it's going to have
Speaker 2: to wait till Monday. Also, they're on the West coast,
Speaker 2: so that at a few hours, not Monday afternoon, maybe
Speaker 2: late afternoon, you might hear back. And I think that
Speaker 2: helped her because you have to remember, at least in
Speaker 2: my experience, people on the other end of the negotiating table,
Speaker 2: like they have, you know, corporate stuff to do too,
Speaker 2: and they also have a job to do on top
Speaker 2: of recruiting. So sometimes it's going slow, not because they're
Speaker 2: thinking negatively about your ask, but because they just have to,
Speaker 2: you know, dot their i's and cross their te's, and
Speaker 2: they're not always the most transparent about that, so you're
Speaker 2: kind of the last to know what's happening on their end.
Speaker 2: In this case, here's what I'll say. You are like,
Speaker 2: you're early in the job market, and I do think
Speaker 2: that setting yourself up, you know, at the highest salary
Speaker 2: you can get. Obviously everyone wants that, but you want
Speaker 2: to be careful about your first job. I believe because
Speaker 2: you know it really it can be the foundation that
Speaker 2: kind of can give you the lift through your career.
Speaker 2: And it can also you know, we're in we're in
Speaker 2: troubling times right now, and if you go in at
Speaker 2: a at a lower pay grade that you know, it
Speaker 2: may take you a long time to get up to
Speaker 2: where maybe your peers would have been in a better economy,
Speaker 2: just because companies may not have the money for the
Speaker 2: while and maybe more conservative for a while and whatnot.
Speaker 2: So at the same time, the fact that you're interviewing me,
Speaker 2: and if you got too interested, you know two companies
Speaker 2: that are interested in you, including the one that you're
Speaker 2: working for. I I say weight, which may seem like
Speaker 2: not in line with what you guys think of me.
Speaker 2: Being risk adverse. But I do think that the first job,
Speaker 2: you sound excited about it, but you have to you
Speaker 2: have to put down in paper what it is that
Speaker 2: you're excited about. Is it the potential for a paycheck?
Speaker 2: Is it because you feel wanted and you you know,
Speaker 2: you feel needed. I bet if you went back to
Speaker 2: them and let me like think about this. But I
Speaker 2: believe in transparency. And if you tell that other job, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm really excited to work with you, but I'm actually
Speaker 2: in active conversations with my current employer, and here's the
Speaker 2: reasons why. I just want to be frank with you.
Speaker 2: You know, I I do feel and it'd be a
Speaker 2: lot easier actually had an offer from your current employer.
Speaker 2: So what you may want to do is just say, hey,
Speaker 2: I know you said I have a week, but I
Speaker 2: want to be transparent and I want to let you
Speaker 2: know that I potentially may have an offer from my
Speaker 2: current employer and the salary is really what my sticking
Speaker 2: point is. And if that's the case, I mean, why
Speaker 2: not be transparent. If they really really like you, they
Speaker 2: might meet you at that salary. They might say okay,
Speaker 2: we'll increase it by five K, but then they might say, Okay,
Speaker 2: well we need to know now, like if we give
Speaker 2: you the extra you know, five ten k whatever you're
Speaker 2: looking for, then you know we're going to push up
Speaker 2: the timeline and you have to take this job. That
Speaker 2: so you have to kind of decide if they were
Speaker 2: to meet your salary, would you then take it or
Speaker 2: would you still want to wait? And if you're still
Speaker 2: not in the boat where you would take it, I
Speaker 2: feel like, are you that excited about it, you know?
Speaker 2: Or should you wait? You certainly don't have to take
Speaker 2: the first job offer that comes your way. And I've
Speaker 2: been in the position where I've given someone a job
Speaker 2: offer and they've turned me down because they were, you know,
Speaker 2: because I was the first person they had talked to.
Speaker 2: And I think they were smart to wait until they
Speaker 2: found an offer that was that was right for them.
Speaker 2: And it sounds like you're working now, so the pressure
Speaker 2: may not be as intense for you to just find
Speaker 2: a job, any job, the same way I had to do,
Speaker 2: you know, when I was job hunting after being laid
Speaker 2: off in the recession and all that. And maybe maybe
Speaker 2: you want to take your time and even if you
Speaker 2: tell the other job like, forget about telling them that
Speaker 2: you're talking to your current employer. Like let's say you
Speaker 2: just say, hey, I actually need a lot more time
Speaker 2: to I need more time than a week to think
Speaker 2: about this because you know, excuse me, the salary is
Speaker 2: not what I was expecting or this. I would prefer,
Speaker 2: you know, to have what I'm looking for is X
Speaker 2: number and then say, you know, if you can give
Speaker 2: me a little bit of extra time, I can really
Speaker 2: think about my budget and what I'm going to need
Speaker 2: and tell you and give you my answer in two
Speaker 2: weeks or something like that, and then maybe that will
Speaker 2: give you time to figure out what's happening with your
Speaker 2: current job. But ultimately, when you decide, you know, if
Speaker 2: you like them or not, you just need to or
Speaker 2: you know whether either way you need to tell them
Speaker 2: the truth and be ready to walk away and let
Speaker 2: them go on and find someone else, or just tell them, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm ready to jump, but it's the money. And if
Speaker 2: they can't meet you, then get your answer and you know,
Speaker 2: then walk away. It's also complicated.
Speaker 1: I know it is, but you know what it seems
Speaker 1: like they she was really excited about it also being
Speaker 1: a black owned business. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: And I get that I know it's it's like and
Speaker 2: you do have to think about it's a big corporation.
Speaker 2: Maybe there's more money, but it's money. Everything that matters.
Speaker 2: Money does matter. But I would say if you're looking
Speaker 2: at like you're early in your career and you know
Speaker 2: your career field better than I do, I don't know
Speaker 2: exactly what feel it is you know something I don't
Speaker 2: know criminal justice and public administration where her master's degrees.
Speaker 2: But if you're like at a small business, you do
Speaker 2: have a lot more opportunity to rise. You have maybe
Speaker 2: opportunity for growth, and maybe it's an opportunity and you
Speaker 2: should ask these questions in your interview. You know, is
Speaker 2: there is there a career track?
Speaker 1: Is there?
Speaker 2: You know, what's the next step for me? How can
Speaker 2: I how can I grow here? And maybe they're more
Speaker 2: nimble than at the big corporation where maybe those there's
Speaker 2: more red tape or you know it takes more time
Speaker 2: to move up. Uh, you know, deal it out. But
Speaker 2: there's there's pros and cons to small and large, and
Speaker 2: I think you'll probably work for both over the course
Speaker 2: of your career. I certainly have you work for one
Speaker 2: you find out, Oh, I don't like small corporations for
Speaker 2: or small businesses for this reason. Then you go look
Speaker 2: for what you don't like or what you what you
Speaker 2: didn't like in another company that you do like, and
Speaker 2: you learn new things about you know, the bad sides
Speaker 2: of working for a big corporation, and then you just
Speaker 2: keep bouncing around until you find it's. Honestly, it's just
Speaker 2: like dating, like except with except they pay you to
Speaker 2: do it, which is nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no, but I mean, I remember, remember I
Speaker 1: told you my first offer, Mandy, and I was a
Speaker 1: teaching preschool and I remember it was in Plainfield, and
Speaker 1: I think they offered me, I want to say, she
Speaker 1: offered me like thirty two thousand, and she was like,
Speaker 1: here's the chart. Here's what it shows with you know,
Speaker 1: you have your bachelors and you have zero years of experience,
Speaker 1: and that's thirty two thousand. That's the chart. That's what
Speaker 1: the state says. And I was like, okay, well you know,
Speaker 1: cause I'm twenty, I'm like, that's the chart. I make
Speaker 1: thirty two. And then I told my dad and he
Speaker 1: was like, well, I have like the I'm the CEO
Speaker 1: or executive director of a nonprofit in Newark and we
Speaker 1: have a couple of centers if you're wanting to teach preschool,
Speaker 1: and we could pay you thirty nine. I was like, oh, well, shoot,
Speaker 1: because it was preschool, I was going to teach in
Speaker 1: Plainfield as well. So I went back to the Plainfield CEO,
Speaker 1: lady of the of the of the of the school
Speaker 1: or principal or whatever, and I was like, oh, you know, hey,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, but I'm going to decline. And
Speaker 1: she's like, can I ask why? I said, well, I
Speaker 1: got to offer for thirty nine thousand to teach as well.
Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, well, I can't give you thirty six.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, what you know? I was so
Speaker 1: confused because you know, I'm twenty. I'm like, no, but
Speaker 1: the chart, the chart said, I saw the chart. You
Speaker 1: gave me the chart. You can't give me thirty six.
Speaker 1: And she was like and I said that. I was like,
Speaker 1: but I don't understand like I thought the chart. She's like, no, no, no, Well,
Speaker 1: we have like other parts of the budget that I
Speaker 1: can used to enhance it. And I just remember being like,
Speaker 1: you crafty witch, But it taught me a valuable lesson
Speaker 1: and the reason why is And so she was like, no,
Speaker 1: I really want you to teach here. And I was
Speaker 1: like why because I you before, like for a teacher anyway,
Speaker 1: then I used to come to the classroom and then
Speaker 1: they would like observe me teaching and stuff. And plus,
Speaker 1: you know, I was young and full of energy. And
Speaker 1: she had a son that was three, and she's like,
Speaker 1: I really wanted him to be in your class because
Speaker 1: I could tell you're an excellent teacher. You love it,
Speaker 1: you love the kids, and you have great energy. And
Speaker 1: I was like, so the chart. So what it taught
Speaker 1: me though, was that you know, there is money oftentimes
Speaker 1: if they want to. Now I mean as a business
Speaker 1: owner myself, now, sometimes like that's just our budget, you know,
Speaker 1: but their concessions are made, you know. So you know,
Speaker 1: if you are really loving that first job, something about
Speaker 1: it excites you ask for more because you know, maybe
Speaker 1: they showed you the chart, but there's more money that
Speaker 1: they can squeeze if they really they really want you.
Speaker 1: So I just want to give you that little piece
Speaker 1: of help because I'm not someone I'm someone who's nervous
Speaker 1: about asking for more. But that taught me a lesson,
Speaker 1: Like girls, sometimes I got a little pocket of money
Speaker 1: on the other.
Speaker 2: Side, absolutely, and I definitely think you should go back
Speaker 2: and tell them that you, you know, have talked to
Speaker 2: peers and you think a fairer salary whatever your benchmarking
Speaker 2: it is. And I won't get too into it, but
Speaker 2: I've also learned that the whole world of benchmarking salaries
Speaker 2: and deciding what a certain position is worth versus you know,
Speaker 2: not worth in another position, it's all so random, and
Speaker 2: the people who do it, I'm just like, how do
Speaker 2: you how do you figure all this out? There's no
Speaker 2: rhyme or reason. Often the benchmark is just like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is what most people told me make and that
Speaker 2: is how we're going to benchmark this. And they'll move
Speaker 2: it up and down depending. So, you know, I think
Speaker 2: you're in a You're in a really exciting position. You
Speaker 2: just have to weigh the pros and cons and you
Speaker 2: sound really thoughtful. So literally write the things down. What
Speaker 2: is good about this job? What is good about that job? Benefits?
Speaker 2: You know, flexibility, time off, health, all those good things.
Speaker 2: Is there a four one K match all those core
Speaker 2: questions beyond just based compensation. Yeah, and before I before
Speaker 2: I stop rambling, because I love talking about this stuff.
Speaker 2: I will say, you know, to your current employer if
Speaker 2: they really want to, I think they need to know.
Speaker 2: I actually prefer I love to know if my I
Speaker 2: would love to know if one of my direct reports was,
Speaker 2: you know, thinking about another offer, because I'm going to
Speaker 2: go immediately to HR. You know, uh, review process be
Speaker 2: damned and promotion process be damned, and be like, yo,
Speaker 2: they're they may be leaving, give me money to keep
Speaker 2: them and then you know, see what happens. Then I
Speaker 2: I you know, if you're a really employed interviewing with
Speaker 2: your employers, say them, hey, I actually am interviewing because
Speaker 2: you guys know I'm graduating soon and I potentially have
Speaker 2: an offer. I'm excited about what's your timeline like? And
Speaker 2: that is not to Tiffany's earlier point, that's not difficult.
Speaker 2: That's not being difficult. It's not being rude, it's being honest.
Speaker 2: And it also like you don't have time to waste.
Speaker 2: Neither do they. So maybe they're just like, oh, maybe
Speaker 2: you're off through the holiday, then we'll come back and
Speaker 2: we'll have time to interview Gabby for this job. But
Speaker 2: you don't got time. You have to tell this other
Speaker 2: job before the holiday. So that's just you know, being
Speaker 2: honest and giving them a chance to fight for you. Right.
Speaker 2: So I'm I like honesty, and I hate game playing,
Speaker 2: and I hate all that crap that goes with the
Speaker 2: interview process. So I say, put your best foot forward,
Speaker 2: be honest and open with anyone that you're should. I say,
Speaker 2: courting is not even a word anymore. People say courting,
Speaker 2: courting flirting with talking to, talking to. That's what the
Speaker 2: kids say today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well no they don't say talking to. I think
Speaker 1: what did they say? It is just something else. Talking
Speaker 1: to is what we used to say back in my day.
Speaker 1: It's something else they say. But whatever, what's old is
Speaker 1: new whenever I saw all right, well, thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you Gaby for your interesting question, and thanks y'all again.
Speaker 1: You can hit us up on Instagram. We're at Brandomission
Speaker 1: podcast or email Brandimission Podcast at gmail, dot com, dot com.
Speaker 1: All right, you wanted to boost a break? Yes? Is
Speaker 1: she going boost? Is she going break? Is you going break?
Speaker 2: Oh? I'm gonna tell you as soon as I read
Speaker 2: my notes. Oh we're gonna keep going. Sorry, go ahead, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: that's all ry I. If you want, I can go
Speaker 2: fizzors no, yes, please do.
Speaker 1: I am going to boost I've boosted them before, but
Speaker 1: especially now we've had like such a crazy up and
Speaker 1: down years. I really want to boost my Unicorn squad
Speaker 1: because that is my team. It's about twenty five sixty
Speaker 1: seven eight of us depending, but they're amazing. Of course
Speaker 1: there's my business partner, Gabrill, but largely the team is
Speaker 1: ninety five percent women women of color, the black women,
Speaker 1: to be clear, not not everyone's a black woman, but most.
Speaker 1: And I call them unicorns because they make magic happen
Speaker 1: every day and so they're amazing. You know, my Unicorn squad.
Speaker 1: And by the time that this comes out, you will
Speaker 1: have already got your bonuses. Yes, girl. So here's the thing.
Speaker 2: This my accessor for This is the first year that
Speaker 2: I feel.
Speaker 1: So because in total, all of my companies made just
Speaker 1: over ten million dollars this year.
Speaker 2: And all of my company, she said, she doesn't include
Speaker 2: brand amission that go to brands store dot com and
Speaker 2: get your mech.
Speaker 1: Yes, get your brother, so we can't get these coins.
Speaker 1: So normally I do like we would do when I
Speaker 1: first first started the business, I would like actually just
Speaker 1: buy them presents because it was maybe like five of us,
Speaker 1: and I would just mail them out and then it
Speaker 1: would be like, okay, you know, like one hundred dollars bonus,
Speaker 1: and then a two hundred and two fifty, then five hundred.
Speaker 1: So this year we had our first like I guess,
Speaker 1: I don't want to call official bonus, but this is
Speaker 1: how we did our bonus this year, and I'm just
Speaker 1: so proud of it. It was we set aside five
Speaker 1: percent of our net income or net profit, so that
Speaker 1: means in total, we made, you know, ten million. And
Speaker 1: then let's just say, I'm pretending I'm making up numbers.
Speaker 1: We spent six million to make the ten million, So
Speaker 1: spent meaning payroll, websites, tex support, all the things that
Speaker 1: it costs to run a company, let's and marketing. Let's
Speaker 1: just pretend it was six million. So that left over
Speaker 1: four million. Like I said, I'm making up these numbers.
Speaker 1: These numbers are not correct. So what we did, we
Speaker 1: said five percent of that four million is what we
Speaker 1: call our bonus pool. And so the bonus pool now
Speaker 1: is everyone in the company that is a full time employee,
Speaker 1: part time employee, or contractor not consultant a contractor. They
Speaker 1: can participate in the bonus pool. And the way we
Speaker 1: navigated the bonus pool is whatever percentage of whatever percentage
Speaker 1: of your pay is come from our payroll pool, that's
Speaker 1: the percentage you get of the bonus pool. So let's
Speaker 1: just say you know, you're you know right now, you're
Speaker 1: getting two percent of If payroll is one hundred thousand
Speaker 1: dollars a year, let's just pretend and you get two
Speaker 1: percent of that, then you get two percent of the
Speaker 1: bonus pool. So that's how we kind of match this.
Speaker 2: That's a lot. But I know for people they're like, yes, money.
Speaker 1: Yes, right then, So that because I want I wanted
Speaker 1: math because to me, transparency and business, especially internally is critical.
Speaker 1: So I really wanted math that people can math themselves like, oh,
Speaker 1: because we show them the company made this amount great,
Speaker 1: then we spent this amount, great, this is what's left over. Great.
Speaker 1: Multiply this time is five percent awesome, here's the bonus pool.
Speaker 1: Then we tell you your percentage of our current payroll
Speaker 1: is two percent, So multiply the bonus pool times two percent.
Speaker 1: That's your piece. And so today we are we're well.
Speaker 1: By the time you guys hear they'll have already gotten
Speaker 1: their bonuses they land tomorrow on Tuesday, and this comes
Speaker 1: out Wednesday. But I'm excited because some people are getting
Speaker 1: five figure bonuses, man, Like, it's amazing. It just doing
Speaker 1: it this way ensures that we are able to give
Speaker 1: bonuses that are healthy but maintain the health of the
Speaker 1: company because we're giving money from from the excess, you know,
Speaker 1: So it's not like like, you know, so if we
Speaker 1: only made one hundred thousand, even though we technically made
Speaker 1: a million, they would only get bonuses as a percentage
Speaker 1: of that hundred thousand. And so this this method of
Speaker 1: doing it, like I said, for people to get you know,
Speaker 1: like like really healthy five figure bone. No one's bonuses
Speaker 1: under four figures. It just feels really good. I mean
Speaker 1: some people's bonuses is three times what their monthly pay is.
Speaker 1: So it just feels really good to give like a
Speaker 1: really like solid bonus. We've been able to like maintain
Speaker 1: our staff the whole year. We haven't had to let
Speaker 1: anybody go as far as because of financial Some people
Speaker 1: might maybe we let go be just because you know,
Speaker 1: the project was done or whatever, but we haven't had
Speaker 1: to let anyone go. We've given raises to everyone this year,
Speaker 1: and to be able to give like a really great bone.
Speaker 1: This is because the team deserves. They work so hard,
Speaker 1: they put so much effort. I wish you guys could
Speaker 1: see how much they care about the women y'all that
Speaker 1: we serve, how much time they put in, how much
Speaker 1: work they put it. I mean, they're relentless. I have
Speaker 1: to tell them to take breaks. We're actually I'm considering
Speaker 1: implementing a forced vacation to say, like, you know, you
Speaker 1: get up to whatever number of weeks, but you must
Speaker 1: take at least five days a year or whatever, because
Speaker 1: they work so hard on your behalf. And I just
Speaker 1: wanted to, like, you know, do something I always tell them,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to also show them tangibly, like, hey,
Speaker 1: here's what it looks like this year. I've just grown
Speaker 1: so much as a CEO of like structuring the business.
Speaker 1: We're just more of a business now, you know, not
Speaker 1: that we weren't before, but it's different when you reach
Speaker 1: a certain level, Like we were a little lax in
Speaker 1: some places as far as like the financials, like uh, wait,
Speaker 1: we need to have a budget for the year. Wait,
Speaker 1: we need to so creating all of these things. And
Speaker 1: so I'm excited because now we know, every April we'll
Speaker 1: do raises based upon you know performance, and then every
Speaker 1: December we do bonuses based upon the company's performance. So
Speaker 1: I love that the bonuses, that what you make is
Speaker 1: based upon what we do collectively, but also what you
Speaker 1: do individually. To me, that's really important that you're honored
Speaker 1: as an individual, but then you're also honored for what
Speaker 1: you bring to the table collectively. So I just want
Speaker 1: to shop to you know, cornch squad. By now, your
Speaker 1: money should have hit hit. I hope you're as excited
Speaker 1: as I am. I can't wait to our team meeting tonight.
Speaker 1: We're just having a quick our last meeting of the
Speaker 1: year and it's just a highlight meeting. I want everyone
Speaker 1: to just say one of the highlights for the year,
Speaker 1: and then we end with sharing everybody. Well, obviously your
Speaker 1: bonus is private. We're gonna be slacking everybody individually. There
Speaker 1: their bonuses. So I can't wait.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's exciting. I can't well, I can't wait, but
Speaker 2: I can't wait for them because I know that's exciting
Speaker 2: and really quickly I will share my bron Wait what
Speaker 2: is it my notes? We're my notes? Oh boost, So
Speaker 2: for last minute shoppers like myself. I don't know. My
Speaker 2: analysis paralysis also applied to Christmas present this year, and
Speaker 2: something like a lightning bulb went off, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: small businesses they need our support. So and also because
Speaker 2: none of my family is here, none of my you know,
Speaker 2: blood family. That sounds terrible. My my husband's family is
Speaker 2: my family. Blah blah blah. They don't listen anyway, It's fine.
Speaker 2: My family in different states is like and shipping is
Speaker 2: so slow, like there, you know, people are sending packages
Speaker 2: now that may not even get there till after Christmas.
Speaker 2: So what I decided to do is I'm digging through
Speaker 2: my memory and my texts and all kinds of like
Speaker 2: email and stuff to figure out where these people, like,
Speaker 2: where my relatives have loved shopping or eating or whatever.
Speaker 2: And then I'm just getting gift cards. And then I'm
Speaker 2: thinking two birds, one stone. So Christmas gift idea if
Speaker 2: you want to support local businesses who need your help
Speaker 2: more than ever given today's times and the fact that
Speaker 2: places are shutting down again, and you want to, you know,
Speaker 2: get some stuff off your Christmas list and be thoughtful
Speaker 2: and get all those you know, boxes ticked. Support your
Speaker 2: local business so like restaurants. I'm even trying to get
Speaker 2: husband to like find a lot local hardware store because
Speaker 2: he's determined to get my little brother a drill for Christmas.
Speaker 2: For some reason, he thinks my brother is a drill.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, is there like a I don't know,
Speaker 2: just a small hardware store of Atlanta anyway. Yeah, So
Speaker 2: shut out to small businesses and try to lift them up,
Speaker 2: you know however you can this holiday season.
Speaker 1: I love that because you're right. I think that's a
Speaker 1: great idea. I did do a lot of my shopping
Speaker 1: via small businesses because you know, you're right. It's just
Speaker 1: it just and I you know, and maybe what we
Speaker 1: can do because I know we could. You know, sometimes
Speaker 1: I shout out, like my favorite Instagram accounts that we're following,
Speaker 1: but it might be nice that when we come across
Speaker 1: things to shout out, like a small business that we
Speaker 1: that we really like. You know, Yeah, I'll give you one.
Speaker 1: So my skin has been on fleaky fleek. And one
Speaker 1: of the reasons why is this company called the butter
Speaker 1: Bar Skin Skincare. Honestly, their stuff is amazing because I
Speaker 1: have I don't know, I guess we all have combo
Speaker 1: skin or whatever. But I was like, just like with age,
Speaker 1: I just I don't know my skin what used to
Speaker 1: work for wasn't working. But I have found because I
Speaker 1: have very sensitive skin, I break out very easily. But
Speaker 1: all this stuff is supernatural. It does take some weeks
Speaker 1: to get because they literally make it. When it gets there,
Speaker 1: I put it in the refrigerator because it's all natural.
Speaker 1: It's a little pricey. I'm not gonna lie, but it's
Speaker 1: a sister owned and operated operation. They're out of Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker 1: But their stuff is amazing, amazing, amazing, and I saw
Speaker 1: a difference instantly. So the butter the butter whatever. What
Speaker 1: did I say, butter bar, Yes, the butter Bar skin care,
Speaker 1: and I believe that they're the butter bar on ig.
Speaker 1: But they have so many discounts and like right now
Speaker 1: they have forty percent off with closed out VIP using
Speaker 1: that code or whatever. They're not I'm not they don't
Speaker 1: give me no money. I'm just sharing because I love
Speaker 1: to see a black business that is doing good work
Speaker 1: and and their you know, their product is amazing. So
Speaker 1: that is my little shout out for for small business,
Speaker 1: black small business, black brown small business.
Speaker 2: I love it all right. Well, the gift card that
Speaker 2: I got, well, I won't say he doesn't listen to
Speaker 2: the show, but whatever. My favorite small business in Queens
Speaker 2: that I used to shop at all the times called Lockwood,
Speaker 2: and they have different locations around New York now around
Speaker 2: the boroughs, so and they ship I actually got those
Speaker 2: funny what are they called the candles that you have
Speaker 2: like around the house, but they have like a little
Speaker 2: icons on them, you know, like Kendrick Lamar candle and
Speaker 2: a JK Rowling candle and an AOC candle what are
Speaker 2: they called? Anyway, I got my brother a couple of
Speaker 2: those from Lockwood. But it's a cute kind of little
Speaker 2: It's gifts that are nice and good quality, but that
Speaker 2: no one would probably buy for themselves. So I would
Speaker 2: check out Lockwood if you want to support a local
Speaker 2: business in Queens, my old home away from home.
Speaker 1: Oh, I love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I guess we haven't even talked about when
Speaker 2: our last show of twenty twenty is going to be,
Speaker 2: but I guess next week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, I.
Speaker 2: Guess you want to do it?
Speaker 1: You the boss, the boss for sure. I just love
Speaker 1: this show and I just love that I always forget because,
Speaker 1: like I said, it took me a while to remember, like, wait,
Speaker 1: I'm not just talking to Mandy because you guys will
Speaker 1: come up to me and be like, ooh, congratulations on something.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't tell you there. Oh shit, it's
Speaker 1: not just me and Mantra. And I love when I
Speaker 1: see people like call you manjoin the comments, like I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: People are gonna come up to you wearing a mask
Speaker 2: and a unicorn horn that they just pop on their
Speaker 2: head and be like, excuse me, Yeah, it's me from
Speaker 2: the zoom call.
Speaker 1: I didn't get im.
Speaker 2: I didn't get my slack message.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be HILARI. Yeah, don't do that.
Speaker 2: Okay, so no, but take.
Speaker 1: That out of my cart.
Speaker 2: Then all right, that's fine.
Speaker 1: But yeah, how I mancha? Well, I bid you at
Speaker 1: Zoo at zoong.
Speaker 2: And you one more show of twenty twenty and then
Speaker 2: let's put this year in the in the past where
Speaker 2: she belongs. All right, take care, have a good all
Speaker 2: teams meeting, all right, thank you after seven pm, God
Speaker 2: bless you
Speaker 1: To