1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:09,000 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode Alchemy, this uh covidition. I'm 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: your host, Kevin Paul yess that Kevin pol Oh. Please 3 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: do put on gloves and a face mask everywhere you 4 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,599 Speaker 1: go these days, if not for you to do it 5 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: for your kids and buy the kids, I mean all 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: the people in your ratings you have fun. But I digress. 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: Let's meet our alchemists. Shall we know particular? What to say? 8 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: A load of Craig Atkowski cacao. Please choose between eggs 9 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,839 Speaker 1: and bacon, eggs over easy with toast or waffle and 10 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: bacon because you know you gotta cut it. Okay, So 11 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: the first choice is eggs or bacon. Eggs and bacon. Okay, 12 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: eggs and bacon. That's the second choice. Second choice is 13 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: eggs over easy with toast. Third choice to his waffle 14 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: and bacon because you know you gotta cut it. That's 15 00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: what the waffle on the bacon together. H I'm gonna 16 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: go waffle and bacon. Who controversial because I get my 17 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: eggs from the waffle. Correct, cool it with the hands. 18 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: There's Jessica Lowe, jess arms Strong. Are you ready for 19 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 1: a second puppy? Absolutely? Wow? Check your doorstep I'm a 20 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: dog lady. Now I'm going to be aggressive in public. 21 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,759 Speaker 1: Nice check your doorstep. We left a puppy there last night. 22 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: Check your door step. Yeah, it's in a box. I 23 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: just wanted to see the panic in Chris's face. Speaking 24 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: of which, Dr Alvarado, do you ever have your temperature 25 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 1: taken using Did you ever have your temperature taken using 26 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:55,120 Speaker 1: the rectal option? I think it has a child um. 27 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: As an adult, I don't recall that ever happening, But 28 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: as a child, I'm sure I'd like to blame some 29 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: of my rectal interests in a childhood experience with the thermometer. 30 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: What what's the deal with that? Right? Rectal interest? Sure? 31 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: Is the title of Kevin uh book. Yeah, it's my 32 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: third book. I only do the rectal temperature after I 33 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: reach a certain temperature when it's in the mouth, because 34 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: you want the most accurate afterwards. So I don't do 35 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,520 Speaker 1: it all the time unless I have a fever. Are 36 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: you saying you're willing to go ask to mouth? Yeah, 37 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: I'm I'm ready for human seven pp. I think you 38 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: were saying mouth and I think if you're not earning 39 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: rectal interests, you need to talk to your cp A show. 40 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: Kevin Right, Actually, the thing about the rectal thing was 41 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: not entirely true. But there is a funny story about 42 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: thermometers in my mouth. I don't know if I want 43 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: to share it today. Well, I feel like you have to. Well, 44 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: I've I've been married to my wife for more than 45 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: a year. We've lived together for I think I don't 46 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 1: know a lot, many many years. But it was only 47 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 1: this year that I found out that she always uses 48 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: the thermometer in her armpit and I always use it 49 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 1: in my mouth. I had no idea because I had 50 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: never as a child used my armpit, and it's just 51 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: it's bad. I now use alcohol to rub the thermometer 52 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: before I use it. But I'm soful that it's not recteal. Yeah, 53 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 1: I think we're all thankful quite frankly having heard the story. Yeah, 54 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: because I'm going to look at your wife again and 55 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: I need to think certain things. Well, let me just ask, 56 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: how many of you use an armpit for the temperature? 57 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: Is anybody is on? That's not normal? Right? I'm not 58 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: the crazy one. I don't think she has to be crazy, James. Well, 59 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: perhaps creative inventive or she was watching a Doctor OZ 60 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: episode and said that sounds good. Well, she says that 61 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: the kind of thermometer that I've always had as a kid, 62 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,920 Speaker 1: the digital one goes under your talk. She says, that 63 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: kind goes in your armpit, and the mouth ones look different, 64 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:30,719 Speaker 1: and then there's the ear one, which luckily nobody puts 65 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 1: the mouth one in the ear. I don't never mind, 66 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: never mind, right, did you have a question? Nope? I 67 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: think I think that was a good introduction. I think 68 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 1: we all got there, whether we were willing to or not. 69 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: Let's start the damn show. Yeah. All of our scene 70 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: suggestions today gathered from listener emails or Patreon v i 71 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: P s with their priority listing. If you're a listener 72 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: and you'd like to send a scene suggestion, please write 73 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: to the podcast that your name here at Alchemy, this 74 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this dot com. 75 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: Seen one comes from Patreon v i P Toyvo. We've 76 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 1: heard from Toyvo in the past, from back from Finland. Indeed, 77 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 1: he writes, hello, dear and delightful messengers of madness. Even 78 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: the global coronavirus is no match against the power of laughter. 79 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 1: Because of your deliciously decadent and offensive comedy. That's us 80 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 1: stay safe, healthy, and appropriately crazy. Another scene suggestion from 81 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: the Land of Finns. A gang of treasure hunting New 82 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:36,840 Speaker 1: Yorker Dwarfs dig their way up into Kevin Pollock's basement 83 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 1: by accident, and Kevin is certain he's hallucinating or otherwise 84 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 1: losing it. Yours, sincerely, with a giggle, toyvo, you gotta 85 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: believe me. This guy he's loaded, Okay, I mean he's 86 00:05:54,400 --> 00:06:01,479 Speaker 1: fucking loaded. I mean we're in Los Angeles. Uh. Are 87 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,720 Speaker 1: we sure this guy is the best option? I mean, 88 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: he's won two goddamn SAG Awards. I mean, I might 89 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 1: just help, but our mining skills would be better used 90 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 1: in a gold mine or a diamond. Mind, But are 91 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,239 Speaker 1: you sure he is a fucking gold mine? He's also 92 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:21,839 Speaker 1: But have you been to this guy's house? You have? 93 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: You don't know where he lives. I don't watch television, 94 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: I don't watch movies. I don't have any electrical devices 95 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 1: in my dwelling. Startling to you, baby, did you hear that? 96 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: I thought I heard something scratching on the floor. Oh, 97 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: it's probably just a cat, baby, Yeah, it's definitely a cat. 98 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: It's one of our two cats. Yeah, he always goes 99 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: for his one Am Midnight's track. Yeah alright, Yah, of 100 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 1: all your films, She's all that is my favorite. You 101 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: know you've never shared that before. I know, I just 102 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: did you just have a dream of it? Did? I 103 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: just remember? You know, you're sitting outside that pickup truck 104 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 1: and the sun is hitting your arms, and by those 105 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 1: are nineties arms. I love you, Oh, sweetie, you're the best. Hey, 106 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: should we maybe try to get a dinner with Freddie 107 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: Prince Jr? And I would love Sarah Michelle? Sarah Michelle, Yeah, 108 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: we should get that. He's threatening to cook us dinner. 109 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: A couple of times. You're saying you've never seen one 110 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 1: of his films. I'm shaying that I don't have any 111 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 1: electricity in my cave. I'm from Old York. Yeah we know, luddite, 112 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: Yeah we know. So I don't know exactly what kind 113 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: of gold mine this gentleman hash, but I haven't seen 114 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: anything that he has. Well, it sounds like we can 115 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: melt down these SAG Awards for gold Oh sure, sure. 116 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: Look I ain't the tallest one here, Okay, but you 117 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 1: know I got some brain on me. Okay, And if 118 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: I say this is good, and this is good. All right, 119 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: I'll follow along. All right, we'll follow you. Optimist, alright, 120 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: optimist prime that is. Yeah, you're trying to make that happen. 121 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not going along. I don't get it. 122 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: I don't get it. All right, now, let's uh, let's 123 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: use our tiny little tools and let's get to work. 124 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: What do you say? Yeah, there are tools, so tidy. Yeah, 125 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: definitely swing a bigger pick. Take. This is gonna take months. 126 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: He's gonna be onto us. Alright, alright, alright, alright, what's 127 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: another way we can get into this place? Well? I 128 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,959 Speaker 1: I have I don't it's dangerous because of this mine, 129 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:56,200 Speaker 1: but I have explosives. Sure, Jim hoole right above us, 130 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:01,440 Speaker 1: Why don't you Why don't you wing the doorbell the door? Yeah, 131 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,679 Speaker 1: that'll distract him. And then and then Charlie and I 132 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: will head and do the back. Yeah, ring the doorbell, 133 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,559 Speaker 1: ldyite and an optimist and I will was swinging through 134 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,439 Speaker 1: the back. Al right, sure, How am I going to 135 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: get out of this hole? I guess I'll just do enough. 136 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: Just just go back the way you came in. Alright, alright, alright, 137 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: give me like five minutes and I'll ring the doorbell. 138 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: Use your tiny tools to get yourself out of the hole. 139 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: Can't we get bigger tools? Who will work on that? Baby? 140 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: And your nose is bleeding? What happened? It's a gusher? 141 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: I must I must again get a towel please, Oh 142 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: my god, this really hurts. All of our towels are 143 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 1: disgusting up here. I'm going to go downstairs. Okay, why 144 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 1: does she hit me so hard the nose every time? 145 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: It's got to talk to my therapist being being. Someone's 146 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: drinking all of our door proof. Yeah, I just let 147 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: me go check. Okay. Hello. Oh my name's Lana. Hello. 148 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: I don't see anyone. Oh I'm right here. I'm right here. 149 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, can I understanding on my beard? Please step back? Sorry? Sorry? Um? 150 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: All right, it's one. I am. What are you doing? Well? 151 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 1: I was going to say the same thing to you. 152 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,959 Speaker 1: It's what I am? What are you guys doing? What 153 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 1: you're standing at my door? Sure? Anyone behind you? Are 154 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: you alone? Why do you ask? My back? And lost 155 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: the wheel out here? And I was wondering if you 156 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: could help me um with the with the wagon wheel? Honey? 157 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: Who is it? Oh? Good? Another person. Oh nice beard, 158 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: thank you Holy cow? How long did that take to 159 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: grow my whole life? I was born with stubble and 160 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: it's still there. I'm sorry. It's like you said, you 161 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: were born with stubble. I was born with stubble, and 162 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: here it be. I need some help with my wagon wheel. 163 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: It fell off and it's definitely more than like before. 164 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: We help you, and I'm sure we'd love to. Um. 165 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,560 Speaker 1: I'm never up to date on this crap. Can you 166 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: just tell me what the politically correct way is to 167 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 1: refer to you a little person? Well, I'm of the 168 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: Gornthrop iron boarn, so I guess just iron born would 169 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: be fine. Uh people, I'm going to say an iron 170 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 1: board and stopped buying. That's how I should refer to you. Yeah, 171 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: that would be great. Iron bars were really popular at 172 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 1: any of those disparaging titles to little people, don't make 173 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,839 Speaker 1: me list them. What do you? First of all, the 174 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:04,559 Speaker 1: iron Born are the most prestigious of the dwarfs. I 175 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: feel like you can say dwarf, but percie, I was 176 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 1: going to say dwarfs, right, what are you talking about? Optimists? 177 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: Where the Holy sag Awards? I don't know. I don't know. 178 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: Keep looking. Well, look at all this this old timey 179 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 1: movie paraphernalia. Though, that's gonna that's gonna be worth something. Right, 180 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,320 Speaker 1: there's a lot of carbonated waters here, a lot of 181 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:32,840 Speaker 1: combinator here. Hey, hey, this was a good idea, right, 182 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: I have no regrets, no regrets. I mean, look, life 183 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: wasn't going too great for us back in New York, right, 184 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 1: that's right. So I don't know. I just felt. We 185 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 1: come out West, we hit the biggest movie star we know, whoever. 186 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 1: And the best way to measure that is whoever has 187 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 1: the most IMDb credits. So he he's got to have 188 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: more money than anybody else in Hollywood. Look at all 189 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 1: these credits. Holy smoke. All right, put your phone away, 190 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 1: Put your phone away? Alright, alright, alright, Uh, I hope, 191 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,959 Speaker 1: I hope a lot. It's doing okay out there. I 192 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: don't want to leave him out there for too much longer. 193 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: Let's let's grab what we can. Let's get the hell 194 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 1: out of here. You kidding. He's an iron born he 195 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:18,079 Speaker 1: can stall them for hours. That's a good point. Hey wait, 196 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: now this might seem crazy, but when's the next time 197 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 1: you and I are gonna be able to meet a 198 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:28,679 Speaker 1: movie star. I don't know. I guess we could go 199 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,679 Speaker 1: to a premiere while we're here. No, no, no, why 200 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: don't we Why don't we talk to the guy? You're 201 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: saying just be up front? Jeez? Well, I don't know 202 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 1: where my wagon went, and it was right here in 203 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:47,320 Speaker 1: the wheel. It was off. Well do you guys anywhere? 204 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,600 Speaker 1: I don't see a way. I don't know how this 205 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 1: is our problem. I mean, you're cold iron board. It's 206 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: kind of a big deal. Honey. Let's just call him 207 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: maneuver and be done with this, right. No, no no, no, 208 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere. Let's see. Uh, maybe 209 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 1: I tell you fella, come on in. Would you like 210 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: the carb side? Would you like to have waited water? 211 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:14,440 Speaker 1: We have a lot of carbonretted water. Um, we got 212 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 1: pell of greens. Well, you know, maybe if we just 213 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 1: step a little further from the door. You ever had 214 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 1: a bubble up? Yeah? Yeah, fan of orange? That'll that'll 215 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 1: trip your life. Now I can't say no, of course, yes, 216 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: come on in. Yeah, all right, we're coming inside. So 217 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: it's just when I know I'm coming in. Yeah, who 218 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 1: are you yelling? Ats you're gonna I'm yelling at the 219 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: gods in case you just say thank you. There they 220 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: are the SAG Awards. Oh they're just as beautiful as 221 00:14:52,040 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 1: I thought. Wait a minute, he's a for ensemble. He 222 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: didn't earn these outright? What's the difference. There's like twenty 223 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 1: names on here. All right, well here let me grab one. 224 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: Holy shit, this is heavy. It's so heavy. I'm only 225 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 1: a copper born. Okay, okay, you hold it by the 226 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: by the base, hold it by the head. Don't get 227 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: your hands cut on that thing. It looks dangerous. Hey, hey, hey, 228 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: what are you two doing. It's Kevin park from She's 229 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: all that I see you. Uh, you guys are fond 230 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:40,400 Speaker 1: of the SAG Awards. Yeah uh, they just got the 231 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 1: the plates that to what he's there, and that that 232 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 1: second one there's pretty fresh and new. I don't know. 233 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: I have no idea who they are. Right, Wait a second, 234 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: this has happened, stance that three. Don't say it. Don't 235 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 1: say you say it? Only we can average man. Well 236 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: I'm much taller than average. I would think they're gonna 237 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: beard is the biggest beard of my family. How how 238 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: would you other fellows like us to refer to you 239 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 1: I'm very woke. I have an idea. Yeah, what if 240 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: you referred to us as little sag Awards friends? Okay, friends, look, 241 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: Mr Pollock, we're gonna come clean, Ludye, it's time to 242 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 1: come clean. We came here with the purpose of robbing you. Yeah, 243 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: how did you two get in? Uh? There's somebody who 244 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,440 Speaker 1: lives in your backhouse over there? Okay? And uh yeah, 245 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: his name is Jack. Did he pointed us to a 246 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: sliding lass store back here? Right? Kap, I'm sorry, I 247 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 1: let these guys in. I was doing some dime and 248 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 1: push ups out on the deck and saw these little dudes. 249 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: They said they knew you saw a lot of man, right. 250 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: Did you didn't tell them about where the jew golds hidden? No? Ok? Good, good, good, 251 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: good good. You mean the stuff that's under the pool? Yep, 252 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: that's that's the stuff, So don't tell them about that. 253 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 1: All right, Cool, I'm gonna go do some burbies, all right, 254 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 1: Heyted Danielle, Uh dude, you hated that was Hey too? 255 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,919 Speaker 1: Hey to? Okay? All right, did you guys want to 256 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,399 Speaker 1: talent go for a swim? Honestly, I'd really like to 257 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 1: see this gold. There's no come on under the pool. No, 258 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: that's not a thing you guys want to drink. I 259 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,160 Speaker 1: got a bunch of scuberry water and yeah that sounds Listen, 260 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: thanks for not calling the cops on us or throwing 261 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: us out or I think we're tickled, hon what do 262 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: you think? I'm you know what, I'm gonna put out 263 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 1: some snacks. We go to Costco every week. I'm gonna 264 00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: just makes some makes some pigs in a blanket, maybe 265 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,760 Speaker 1: some shrimp. Got that shrimp tray? Oh, we gotta get 266 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,720 Speaker 1: that shrimp tray out all right. By the way, no 267 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:13,479 Speaker 1: offense when saying shrimp tray fellas none taking. I mean 268 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:18,480 Speaker 1: I didn't say dwarf tray. I didn't say prawn. Might 269 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,640 Speaker 1: be more accurate. Yeah, that's that is what they are. 270 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: You know, boys, you know we came here looking for gold, 271 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:30,919 Speaker 1: treasures awards. I think we found it. I think the 272 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 1: greatest treasure we could ever have is right friend, that pool? Gold? No, no, no, no, 273 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: what do you mean? I'm not going back to Middle 274 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 1: Earth without some serious gold. Hey, guys, here's some takigo's there. 275 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: You go. That's better than gold. These are giant tacos. Wow, 276 00:18:55,440 --> 00:19:02,679 Speaker 1: these are huge. At the are I feel inappropriate if 277 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 1: I answered it. How do you want to get that? 278 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: Oh sure, yeah? Uh hello, Yeah, we got a call 279 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 1: down to the eleventh Precinct that you guys had a 280 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: break in. Oh yeah, I just automatically hit the little 281 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: side button on my uh iPhone too many times, and 282 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: I'm sorry to come in. May we come in and 283 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: take a look around? I mean sure, I think we 284 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: have everything under control, but what I mean this is America. 285 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: Please come in, miss miss please blink twice if you're 286 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 1: being held against your will. I'm trying not to blink, Okay, 287 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 1: but I will eventually have to blink at least twice. 288 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 1: All right, can a dog anywhere in the home? Well, 289 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:59,920 Speaker 1: we have two cats, and is it safe to come in? Yeah? 290 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: All my partners. My partner's allergic to cats. I cannot 291 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,879 Speaker 1: be at all otherwise, Well, he's gonna to stay on 292 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:14,160 Speaker 1: the porch. Then, you guys, Spin drift, Spin drift, bubbly Zlon, 293 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 1: we got all the watermelon. Your little mouth can get around. Okay, 294 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: let me go and get you them, alright, fair enough, alright, Phil, 295 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,159 Speaker 1: why don't you stay out here and I'm going and 296 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 1: take a look around from everybody's cat guys. We gotta 297 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 1: we gotta hid on the shelves, blend in among all them. Alight, 298 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 1: forgive me if you're saying, miss, you had a lot 299 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,120 Speaker 1: of chat keys here on the shelf. And oh they 300 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 1: are not mine. They are my boy friend, husband, my 301 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: better half. That's that's I like to refer to him. 302 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: And where is he? Miss? At this point, he's safe 303 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: somewhere in the least um. I don't know where he is. 304 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 1: He might be on the shutter, who knows. Okay, fair enough, 305 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 1: give the man his space. Oh what is this? That 306 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:19,639 Speaker 1: a sagawoid? There's two of them. Yeah, these little guys 307 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 1: next to him, Oh extinguished. This little fellow, what's your name? 308 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 1: Kicks up? There's three of them, Holy cow, these friendzos. Miss. Yeah, 309 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:37,240 Speaker 1: we're not awards, we're dwarves. Is that it safe for 310 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: me to call you that? Sir? You're I can call 311 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 1: myself that? Okay? Have we have names? That's optimists because 312 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 1: he's always uh has a romistic look on everything. That's luddite, 313 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,479 Speaker 1: because he doesn't partake in any technology. And I'm Charlie 314 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: because I look like a Charlie. He does look like 315 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,640 Speaker 1: a Charlie. Dwarves all the names that reflect their personalities. 316 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 1: That's Cannon, that's Beard of Nice to meet you, fellas 317 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 1: My partners out on the porch. His name is Phil. 318 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 1: He's allergic to cats. Have you seen the cats around here? Anyway? 319 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,359 Speaker 1: I did leave this lightning glass door open, though. I 320 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 1: hope that wasn't a problem. Oh no, they're indoor cats. 321 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, you left the door open. Buddy. 322 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: My better half is gonna be so piste. Oh my god, 323 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,360 Speaker 1: she loves to come downstairs for her one. I am scratched, 324 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:34,440 Speaker 1: but yes, yeah, honey. Uh, we're a little on t P. 325 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,959 Speaker 1: I know we're hoarding to thirty packs from Costco? Can 326 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:44,399 Speaker 1: you break one open? Sure? Thanks? A lot of talking 327 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: out there. Is there any new Dwarfs? No? Actually a 328 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: police officers here, the core Optimus. Did you hear that 329 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: the hoarding TP in this economy toilet paper is more 330 00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:01,359 Speaker 1: valuable than gold? You are smart, optimist. I would have 331 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 1: never thought of this. I'm optimist. That's what I said 332 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,679 Speaker 1: to come here. I'm giving you some credit where credits do. 333 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, just I'm not using it. 334 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,399 Speaker 1: I don't usually say nice things, but I was pretty 335 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: disappointed in you know, mounting down the moddle the gold 336 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 1: and this is like double ply it's so shof Oh 337 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,159 Speaker 1: my god. Look, Kevin's been nice and all his his 338 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,879 Speaker 1: lady friends seemed sweet. But why don't we take this 339 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 1: in scram all right, I'm now own, I'm down. Hey, hey, fellas, 340 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: wait wait wait, whoa, whoa, whoa? What are you going? 341 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 1: I just gotta it was fun great hanging out with you. 342 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:51,240 Speaker 1: Come back anytime. I'm sorry. Are you stealing our toilet paper? 343 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 1: It's very obvious that you're stealing our toilet paper. I 344 00:23:55,880 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 1: just assumed they came with that whoa, whoa, they're stealing. Hey, 345 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: we've been very nice to you. I heated up some Takedo's. Okay, 346 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 1: we offered you up a bunch of different bubbly water. 347 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,000 Speaker 1: I need to understand what the hell you're doing in 348 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:18,480 Speaker 1: my house? Well, ms, ms, my partner fills out of 349 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 1: the porch that if they try to get out the 350 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 1: front door, he's gonna have that co Kevin Pollock, big fan? 351 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 1: What house I was in? Yeah? Thank you, officers. Is 352 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 1: there something you can do for us here? Well, if 353 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: these gates are a problem for you, let me know 354 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 1: when the are they stealing you toilet paper? That I 355 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 1: hear that, because that's that's a big problem these days. 356 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 1: Oh no, we're not stealing this. There's no there's no 357 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: way more than they can handle. You don't know how 358 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:52,600 Speaker 1: much Kevin ships. Okay, he has a solid number two 359 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: dukie about seven or eight times a day. And he 360 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 1: likes to do the mitten technique. Okay, that's how much 361 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 1: he uses Kevin two ronquet technique. Okay more most people, 362 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,920 Speaker 1: I would say in the Western hemisphere use probably four 363 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:21,479 Speaker 1: squares four or five, four or five. Kevin uses that. 364 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 1: He puts the end of it in between his fingers, 365 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:29,359 Speaker 1: and then he wraps his entire hand. Yes, and no 366 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 1: less than five wraparounds. So it's we go through a 367 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 1: lot of toilet paper in this house. If that's the case, 368 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,160 Speaker 1: then you little guys, you take as much as you want, 369 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 1: because I'm not I'm not comfortable with any of this 370 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 1: mitten stuff would be able to afford a bid day. 371 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 1: Have you guys ever seen she's all that? Because I'll 372 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:53,679 Speaker 1: tell you what that character he big big that this 373 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,639 Speaker 1: guy doesn't know. I don't watch I don't have a 374 00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 1: television problem. What is your sucking problem. I from Old York. 375 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,720 Speaker 1: We don't have televisions, but do you want to acknowledge 376 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,879 Speaker 1: that television exists? Right? Well, if I was so lucky 377 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,480 Speaker 1: to have a TV, maybe I waste my time. But 378 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: I've got to spend all my dies, you know, mine 379 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,920 Speaker 1: and diamonds and cold. There's there's a swimming pool. I'm 380 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 1: taking this toilet paper, but that's final. Wait a second, 381 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,680 Speaker 1: there's a swimming pool. There's a swimming pulling back and 382 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 1: he said that there's jew gold underneath it, but he 383 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,640 Speaker 1: won't let us get there. It's me, I'm offending you. 384 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 1: Oh my god, please, this is a crazy night. Huh. 385 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:42,960 Speaker 1: And that is seen one everybody. Oh man, jew gold 386 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: to block comes from it looks like Matt comes from 387 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:58,679 Speaker 1: matt Um. Okay. I remember hearing one of the alchemists 388 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,000 Speaker 1: do a great Vinnie by Barberino from Welcome Back Carter, 389 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 1: And so using this character in the skit is what 390 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: I would love to I want to see what Vinny 391 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,680 Speaker 1: is like as he has gotten older. Perhaps he goes 392 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,200 Speaker 1: to a computer basics one on one class to learn 393 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 1: how to compute. No matter what, you guys are the greatest. 394 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 1: So let's see how this ghost. Thanks Matt, Thanks Matt, 395 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 1: Thanks thanks Matt. Uh okay uh your substitute teacher, Mr Blackwell, 396 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 1: I'm afraid Mr Carter will not be teaching this class anymore. 397 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,639 Speaker 1: He passed away over the weekend from coronavirus. Mr Kada 398 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: was Mr Katta. He died, Vinny place. He died of coronavirus. 399 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:51,600 Speaker 1: So it's terrible. A moment of silence from for Mr Carter. 400 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:56,400 Speaker 1: For just a moment, there was thank you. Um uh, 401 00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:00,160 Speaker 1: we're gonna learn a few things about computers today. Does 402 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:07,480 Speaker 1: anyone have any questions? I do, yes, yes, um. I 403 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 1: procured this MacBook Air from my grandson. He's a genius 404 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 1: at the Apple store. I mean, it's supposed to be 405 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 1: usually friendly, but I just I can't even turn it on. 406 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 1: There's no on button. There's just a bunch of there's 407 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 1: a squiggle, there's narrow I don't know, Vinny, you want 408 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: to lend a hand, hey, anything to help a fellow 409 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 1: sweat hog. I'm not sure, ma'am. Are you indeed a 410 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 1: fellow sweat on? I don't know what that means, right, So, Vinny, 411 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 1: this is a classroom with you may be the only 412 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: sweat hog. Look, hey, I know that everybody's graduated, right, 413 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: but I mean, boom boom and the shock in Epstein, 414 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 1: it all all the all the fellas left. Horse Shack 415 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 1: also passed away. I'm just hearing about this when a 416 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,840 Speaker 1: year seventy one years old. I know I'm but I'm 417 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: in good shape. You're in phenomenal shape. I gotta tiny blood, 418 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: you know why. Because I'm a dancer. You're a you're 419 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:22,280 Speaker 1: a huffer at heart. At heart, I'm a hoof. My 420 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 1: hats are off to you, by the way, for finally, 421 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:31,560 Speaker 1: uh coming out as a bald man. That's right, I've 422 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 1: been wearing a rug all these years. Look, I just 423 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,880 Speaker 1: want to learn basic, Okay, I want to prove I 424 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: want to program a computer. Well, I brought him that's 425 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 1: ready for programming. I thought this was a This was 426 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:50,200 Speaker 1: a basics class, like like a bass it's a beginner's class. 427 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 1: But I bought an expert from the Apple Genius Bar. 428 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, not your grandson, ma'am. This 429 00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 1: gentleman here's name is Tilden. Tilden. Uh, if you want 430 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,840 Speaker 1: to just help these folks with the absolute basics, that 431 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 1: would be terrific. First things, First, does everybody here have 432 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:14,640 Speaker 1: an Apple computer? Yes? The computer? What kind of name 433 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: is Tilden? What kind of name is that it's I 434 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:26,760 Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. Scott don't know, Okay, Scott, Scott. Look, 435 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know my actual family. Okay, 436 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: I don't know the family I grew up with. I was, 437 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: I was. I was given away as a small child. 438 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,520 Speaker 1: I ended up at the at the at the Glendale Galleria, 439 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,479 Speaker 1: which is where I ended up. I was raised, and 440 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,320 Speaker 1: so I landed in the Apple store. And now I'm 441 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: a genius. So I'm here to teach you the basics 442 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:49,280 Speaker 1: about how to compute understood. What's the first thing they 443 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 1: should do, Tilden? Um, turn on the computer? Yes, no, 444 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:58,240 Speaker 1: you lost me? Oh my computer needs to be plugged dead. No, 445 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 1: I don't have and how by me? I gotta Texas 446 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 1: instruments calculator. Oh brother? All right, can anybody here I 447 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:16,840 Speaker 1: don't know move their hips? Maybe? Maybe, maybe maybe we 448 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 1: need to back away from the computer, stand up in 449 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: front of your desk and start moving your hips a 450 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 1: little bit. Okay, Okay, So right now we're doing is 451 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,800 Speaker 1: we're booting up the body as it were, oh, I 452 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,800 Speaker 1: feel I feeling up the booty. Yeah, booting up the booty. 453 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,160 Speaker 1: There you go, there you go. Okay, so inside of you, 454 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 1: let's just say there's no more blood. Let's say to 455 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: a bunch of zeros in one, zeros and ones, okay, 456 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: zeros and one okay, yeah, all right, now we're all programs. Okay, 457 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 1: right now, I'm a program to get down. All right? 458 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 1: How about you, a young lady. What kind of program 459 00:31:55,480 --> 00:32:03,440 Speaker 1: are you? M'm programmed Kirk and more and my late husband. Okay, 460 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,280 Speaker 1: but I mean currently right now, which operation are you running? 461 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 1: I'm thinking the boogie boogie operation? Oh yeah, sure, I'm 462 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:15,840 Speaker 1: here to boogiegogi. Okay, good and sir, Now you don't 463 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 1: have an outlet next to you, but I see a 464 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 1: lot of power surgery through you. Hunt Well, I just 465 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 1: found out she's single. Okay, there you go, So you dance. 466 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 1: Tears coming down your eyes. It's glacoba. I'm sorry, hold holover, 467 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 1: you wipe that off, no problem. And Vinny is it? Vinnie? 468 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 1: That's right. I'm seventy one, but i'm the youngest guy 469 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: here and you look great. What would you name this 470 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: program that you're running right now? Oh? Booty booty. Oh yeah, 471 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: that's right, that's right. You you booted up the booty. Okay, okay, 472 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 1: good now, everybody take your seats, take your eats. Okay, no, no, no, 473 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,240 Speaker 1: I think we can stop the movie. Stop the movie alright, listen. 474 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 1: Growing up in the gallery, I learned a couple of things. Okay. 475 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,320 Speaker 1: I learned the best snacks to get at the food court. 476 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 1: But I also learned how to channel my personal energy 477 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,520 Speaker 1: into my computing device. And that's what we're gonna do today. 478 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:26,480 Speaker 1: So everybody turn those computers on outlets. Okay, is it 479 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: this button? Oh? That word? That word? And you have 480 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,320 Speaker 1: a calculator? Is that right, Annie? Yeah, it's just on 481 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:41,560 Speaker 1: and off. Good turn on. Okay, I'm getting on. Yeah. 482 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 1: And you with with with the teary eyes? Did you 483 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,560 Speaker 1: play a computer? And I need you to help me 484 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 1: track this to the wall. It's too heavy. Okay, let's 485 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:59,600 Speaker 1: lift Okay. Mr Kada want to inspire us. He tells 486 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,560 Speaker 1: the story about one of his uncles. Yeah that always 487 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 1: worked for me. Okay, Well, um, one of my uncles 488 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:13,360 Speaker 1: worked at the Pacific somewhere pack son. Yeah I put him, yeah, 489 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,759 Speaker 1: he he He was a great man. He gave discounts 490 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,759 Speaker 1: to those who needed him, and he also did the 491 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 1: window displays, really inspirational stuff. He was a good man. 492 00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 1: Was that a good story? Yeah, I'm running a Mac. 493 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:35,440 Speaker 1: I don't have windows. Is there anything Mac friendly? Okay, 494 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 1: there's one more thing we can all do. Is everybody 495 00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:43,279 Speaker 1: here ever heard of the screen of death? Screen? The 496 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 1: blue screen of death so terrible? Fine, well that's how 497 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 1: I lost my wife. Maybe we could all engage the 498 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 1: screen of death this afternoon. I'll be mose with a 499 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 1: rubber hose. Yes, something like that. All right, everybody, pull 500 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 1: out all the medication you have. I'm about I'm about 501 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,960 Speaker 1: so much medication. Good, lay it all out front of 502 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:15,879 Speaker 1: you on your desk. This is diabetes. I have mine 503 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 1: separated by daked these little boxes. Should I hot blood pressure? 504 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,200 Speaker 1: Open it and dump them on the desk. All right? 505 00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:29,319 Speaker 1: I got some hydro chlorine key for malarious Very good, 506 00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,239 Speaker 1: very very good. All right, now we are going to 507 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:36,040 Speaker 1: be computer geniuses. One and all I want you to 508 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 1: do to scoop all those pills up. There you go, 509 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,839 Speaker 1: I got a handful of pills. Throw them in your mouth, 510 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,359 Speaker 1: swallow them down. Wait a buty, you try to kill 511 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 1: us swallow them down. It's the hottest swallow drat. Yeah. 512 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: You want to see me in your office about something? Yeah. Uh, 513 00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:06,480 Speaker 1: it seems you took the you taught the computer basics 514 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:12,640 Speaker 1: one on one at this night school and the the 515 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 1: police are here and they have a few questions. But 516 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:21,359 Speaker 1: before you speak to them, I thought maybe you could 517 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 1: share something with me anything. I mean, you're one of 518 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,800 Speaker 1: my best in the field, so I appreciate I appreciate 519 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,120 Speaker 1: you sending me out there. I have got another job 520 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,920 Speaker 1: for you tonight at a different night school, but I 521 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,960 Speaker 1: want to be comfortable sending in to it. So I 522 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,839 Speaker 1: just have a quick question. Did you have a bunch 523 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:48,120 Speaker 1: of old people take all their pills to see see death? Okay? Cool? Uh? Well, here, 524 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,799 Speaker 1: I'll get the cops and tell them you're ready to talk. 525 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: I appreciate the the honesty, of course, and I appreciate 526 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,319 Speaker 1: this gig. Thank you so much. You're doing great, You're 527 00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 1: doing phenomena. Yeah, uh, officers, there's no cats in there, 528 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:12,840 Speaker 1: is there? Oh? Thank god? Thank god? So, Uh, he's Tilden. 529 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 1: He's ready to talk to you. Now, how can I 530 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:21,319 Speaker 1: help you? Well, the truth is is we heard a 531 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 1: story that perhaps that you are guilty of manslaughter. Have 532 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,359 Speaker 1: you do you understand the charges of manslaughter? No, sir, 533 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,400 Speaker 1: Well it means that you've killed somebody. Maybe not with 534 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 1: malicious intent, but you've definitely killed somebody. Is is could 535 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:42,520 Speaker 1: I get Is this am I correctly describing manslaughter? You're 536 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:46,239 Speaker 1: asking me? No, my partner, listen. Usually I have to 537 00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,120 Speaker 1: stand outside this is I guess this is a no 538 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 1: cat zone. So this is pretty good. Body bag, Oh 539 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,239 Speaker 1: my god, the body bag. Oh, oh my god, there's 540 00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 1: somebody still Hey, I'm still with you. Oh, I'm staying alive. 541 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,280 Speaker 1: I'm stay scene to that scene too. We got ourselves 542 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:14,720 Speaker 1: a button. I didn't know who that character was. Yeah, 543 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,480 Speaker 1: that was fantastic. Well, it's only a forty five year 544 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:22,680 Speaker 1: old sitcom, so I think it's it has its finger 545 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:29,520 Speaker 1: on the pulse of current pop culture. Scene three comes 546 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:34,879 Speaker 1: to us today from Patroon v I P, who wrote, Hi, 547 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:38,720 Speaker 1: Fantastic Autemy. This team or podcast is a great source 548 00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:43,440 Speaker 1: of laughter in these tough times of coronavirus, social distancing, 549 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:47,200 Speaker 1: and self isolation. I have listened to the scenes many 550 00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:50,080 Speaker 1: times now, and my favorites keep changing. Right now, my 551 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,680 Speaker 1: top three are Americans on a guided tour of Australia 552 00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,360 Speaker 1: with very aggressive tour guides that lead to the slaughter 553 00:38:56,400 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 1: of a small boy and it ends in the fantastic 554 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,280 Speaker 1: Australian Court case with the reading of the child poetry 555 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:10,200 Speaker 1: from apl four two thousand nineteen. Uh the absurdly Busy 556 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,799 Speaker 1: Pizza Joint where an angry James Heeney complains to the 557 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,840 Speaker 1: manager and ends up starring in the big production of 558 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:22,239 Speaker 1: Hortz Coock was October eight, two thousand nineteen. And then 559 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:26,880 Speaker 1: when the group tried setting a Guinness Book record for 560 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:32,200 Speaker 1: doing a human centipede and snap bunnies, the Absurdity breaks 561 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:38,600 Speaker 1: the Guinness Book Records. Representative who commits suicide and has 562 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 1: the world's shortest eulogy in a twelve hour concert with 563 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:47,719 Speaker 1: the unique gluten intolerant Irish funeral singer from August two 564 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:51,200 Speaker 1: thousand nineteen. Boy, I thought we did a fairly good 565 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:55,560 Speaker 1: job of keeping notes and descriptions of episodes. I've got 566 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:59,160 Speaker 1: to get this guy on payroll. Those descriptions should be 567 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,400 Speaker 1: sent to the Library of Congress as well. Right um 568 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:06,560 Speaker 1: asking alert, Kevin Pollock must be a comedian masterminding, be 569 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,360 Speaker 1: able to spot talent in chemistry of the Fab five 570 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:15,360 Speaker 1: is amazing, scenes suggested alert. Um, well this will be great, 571 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:20,799 Speaker 1: it says Joey Greer wins a surprising honorary Emmy for 572 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:26,080 Speaker 1: his comedy album Goodnight. He shows his true nature, loses 573 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:29,359 Speaker 1: his ship, and challenges both Beniciel del Toro and Arnold 574 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:33,600 Speaker 1: Schwarzenegger to a duel. He's easily done. All Rich, thank 575 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:37,320 Speaker 1: you so much for your patroon v I p patronage 576 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:45,360 Speaker 1: and now presenting the Emmy for Best Live Comedy Album. 577 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 1: Your presenters are Benzel del Taro and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh 578 00:40:55,560 --> 00:41:02,160 Speaker 1: there's a woman. I am Benicio. So they know who you. 579 00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,040 Speaker 1: They know who you. Are pleased that the audience is 580 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,720 Speaker 1: very happy to see us. And I have a question 581 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:11,640 Speaker 1: for you beneath your right now. Yes, Uh, this is 582 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:17,200 Speaker 1: the presenter's banter that's been leading for us. Um, when 583 00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,720 Speaker 1: you did your picture, Uh, bo, that's a little French. 584 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,040 Speaker 1: I went a little French on you, just to show 585 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:28,080 Speaker 1: the academy my dis vice averdity. Um, tell me more 586 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:33,120 Speaker 1: of anything behind the scenes of the usual suspects. Oh 587 00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: you want to know? Uh? Your favorite moment with uh 588 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:43,720 Speaker 1: was the named Baldwin Oh yes, it was a such 589 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:50,919 Speaker 1: a fantastic, fantastic experience. Moving on, that's good. We should 590 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:55,919 Speaker 1: list to the list of nominees. What what was your 591 00:41:56,120 --> 00:42:00,600 Speaker 1: your favorite part of of that movie when the pretzelman 592 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 1: on twisted? Mm hmm man fucking awards man to crowd, 593 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:15,480 Speaker 1: all right with the vi with the nominees. The nomination 594 00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:23,480 Speaker 1: for Best Live Comming the album Okay, the nominees are um, 595 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:31,240 Speaker 1: the entire cast of Saturday Night Live. Yeah, they're probably 596 00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:36,960 Speaker 1: going to be Davinna. The next nomination is, uh, Joey 597 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 1: Greer for good Night Mind. Wow, that must be Mr 598 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,719 Speaker 1: Green and the Audience Death. There's a there's a bomb 599 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:52,400 Speaker 1: on Dead album. Let me tell you all right, um, 600 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:58,440 Speaker 1: and the next nomination is something called Craiglist. Not familiar 601 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:06,319 Speaker 1: with that? Not you and the Vienna is Wait, only 602 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:11,600 Speaker 1: three nominees. It was a tough year. There are only 603 00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:14,399 Speaker 1: seven comedy albums. I would like to say it's here 604 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:17,680 Speaker 1: right now on stage, Sketch Comedy is I'm also not 605 00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,879 Speaker 1: going French is Dead is Dead, So it makes sense. 606 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,239 Speaker 1: There's only three. I can't believe they're giving an em 607 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,399 Speaker 1: for the stupidity. Okay, let's let's let us be done 608 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:37,480 Speaker 1: with this part. But the vienna is YU. That's this 609 00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:41,000 Speaker 1: is a legitimately one. Okay, where's my award? You two 610 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:45,440 Speaker 1: fucker's whoa, here's your award? Watch the fucking tone? No, 611 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:49,319 Speaker 1: you watch your tone. I'm Joey motherfucking career. That's what 612 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,600 Speaker 1: it says on the card. Just give your congratulations nonsense 613 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:55,360 Speaker 1: and let's be done with this already. Okay, okay, I 614 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:59,520 Speaker 1: wanted this deffortable. Thank you guys for listening to my 615 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:07,839 Speaker 1: ELP home good night. I it's hey Joey, thanks for 616 00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:11,719 Speaker 1: coming in today. Listen. Congratulations on the Emmy Award. I've 617 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,760 Speaker 1: not heard the album, but I'm told by my grandchildren 618 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:21,160 Speaker 1: that it's fantastic. As you know, we'd like to sign 619 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:25,600 Speaker 1: you to an overall deal here at Amazon Prime and 620 00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:29,840 Speaker 1: you would look, yeah, did your agent not explain you? 621 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,839 Speaker 1: Just them? Okay. We were told to expect anything from you, 622 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,160 Speaker 1: so I'm not going to be surprised, and uh, I 623 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,960 Speaker 1: will request if it's possible, I'd like to call in 624 00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,640 Speaker 1: some of the staff and to do that though some 625 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,200 Speaker 1: of them are women, and I'd like you to put 626 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:52,120 Speaker 1: on some pants if that's cool. Oh, no problem. Some pants. Okay, 627 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:56,160 Speaker 1: did you bring your own pants? You don't have pants 628 00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:59,239 Speaker 1: for me? We we can get some pants for you. Absolutely, 629 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,320 Speaker 1: and also were ord ring lunch. Did you want to 630 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:05,160 Speaker 1: get something? Yeah? Good cop seal and a cup of 631 00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:08,919 Speaker 1: come if I know you, the cup of comod good 632 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:12,239 Speaker 1: good good to the rim, Jennifer. Can I get a 633 00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,200 Speaker 1: cop sold and a cup of come from Mr Greer? 634 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:21,080 Speaker 1: Isn't Greer queer? Uh? Joey, I'm such a fan. You 635 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:26,920 Speaker 1: like me? Yeah? You're great? Fucking thank you? Okay? Can 636 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,600 Speaker 1: I just say my son loves you? And he started 637 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:33,719 Speaker 1: wearing his bucket hat with the brim turned up. Well, 638 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,040 Speaker 1: that's really sweet. It's really sweet. I'd like to meet 639 00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:41,200 Speaker 1: him sometime. I wish you would put on pants and 640 00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:44,040 Speaker 1: I didn't bring it. You know I need pants. Jennifer 641 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,120 Speaker 1: would also get some pants please? What are your size 642 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:53,319 Speaker 1: thirty six? Waiste, Joey, No I have as Jennifer, get 643 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:57,800 Speaker 1: the thirty six? Okay, great? Thank you could be bangy? 644 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,320 Speaker 1: Uh so, Joey. Again, I was to expect the weirdness, 645 00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,600 Speaker 1: so I wanted to bring in a showrunner. I want 646 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:07,879 Speaker 1: to put you together with for your first opportunity. Okay, yep, 647 00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,080 Speaker 1: his name is j. J. Abrams, so let me just 648 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:16,719 Speaker 1: get him in here. How you doing, Joe h J 649 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,319 Speaker 1: j Abrams, congratulations on being the first person to win 650 00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:24,080 Speaker 1: an Emmy Award for a free uh an audio recording. No, 651 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,040 Speaker 1: fuck me, that's down, John, Thank you, thank you. It's 652 00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:31,319 Speaker 1: really a pleasure. I worked really hard on that album. Look, 653 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,960 Speaker 1: I'm creating a new television series and it's kind of 654 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,960 Speaker 1: a mystery box of a show. Uh, We're gonna going 655 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,600 Speaker 1: for the long haul here. It's gonna be a seven 656 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:43,000 Speaker 1: episode arc and we're gonna parse out the mystery just 657 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 1: a little bit at a time. And I think you're 658 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,799 Speaker 1: the right person to head it up. Um, because you 659 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,319 Speaker 1: have multiple personality disorder. You will of course play every 660 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,399 Speaker 1: role in the show, but it's gonna be very time 661 00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:58,440 Speaker 1: consuming to shoot you individually to people a world with 662 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:00,400 Speaker 1: dozens and dozens of characters. Do you think you're up 663 00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:03,400 Speaker 1: for that? Oh? Fuck yeah, I'm totally up in there. 664 00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:08,800 Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah. I love men like about fun. So JJS. 665 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:13,279 Speaker 1: I mentioned to you, Joey, Uh, I'm not sure if 666 00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,040 Speaker 1: this is his real speaking voice or not. He does, 667 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:20,080 Speaker 1: I hope that it is? Okay, Okay, Joey do you 668 00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,719 Speaker 1: want me to do some characters? They'll do some characters 669 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:26,640 Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, do that Australian one. That one kills me. Oh, 670 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:31,000 Speaker 1: it's me all the quicky'll miss me Joy, don't sucking 671 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,879 Speaker 1: up some calmuck me. How you like it? He really 672 00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:39,279 Speaker 1: goes for it, He really goes for It's all about commitment. Yeah, 673 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:45,160 Speaker 1: you're right, more about effort than execution. Joe I understand you. 674 00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:50,840 Speaker 1: You brought your creative partner with you today. Is that right? Yeah? Okay, 675 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,840 Speaker 1: let's bring him in see if he's got some blah 676 00:47:53,880 --> 00:48:01,560 Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. Oh hi there Joey grows creative partner. 677 00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:06,400 Speaker 1: What okay? I was told your name is Pete Petson. 678 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:14,360 Speaker 1: Pete Petson. We just called Peep peep. This is j 679 00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:19,040 Speaker 1: J J J pep. How you doing JJ? Not? Not familiar? 680 00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:28,799 Speaker 1: Not familiar? Bad robot? Good robot? Pepy It? Be Let 681 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:34,080 Speaker 1: me ask you? Is is pp including being including the deal? Uh? Is? Yes? 682 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:39,760 Speaker 1: Is that non negotiable? Apparently he's in Joey's writer. Listen, 683 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:45,120 Speaker 1: suits Joey and I do comedy that, um, you probably 684 00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:49,400 Speaker 1: can't even comprehend if by being honest, it's really reminiscent 685 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:54,600 Speaker 1: of the all on Guard movement. It's very theater the absurd, 686 00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,480 Speaker 1: and you suits just want to put a label on 687 00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,600 Speaker 1: us and make a bunch of money. And so what 688 00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:05,200 Speaker 1: I say that is Joe is a genius. Man, Joe 689 00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,680 Speaker 1: is a genius. So you guys are gonna did you 690 00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,280 Speaker 1: had an idea you wanted to play morning shock chocks 691 00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:15,200 Speaker 1: on a radio show? It seems kind of But tell 692 00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:20,240 Speaker 1: j J about the That's all right, so you're familiar 693 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,960 Speaker 1: with what a morning shock jock is. Yes, I'm j 694 00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:30,920 Speaker 1: J Abrams. Okay, So you're familiar with Howard Stern whatever? Yes, okay, okay, 695 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,439 Speaker 1: so you know they're like crew. You don't have to 696 00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:37,520 Speaker 1: introduce the idea of shock jocks to me. I understand 697 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,680 Speaker 1: that you'd be shock jocks on this project. What happens? 698 00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:42,600 Speaker 1: What happens to the give me the who? What? Where? Okay? Cool? 699 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:47,719 Speaker 1: Two shock jocks that I understanding. That's sorry, give me 700 00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,440 Speaker 1: the what and the where? Okay where a radio station 701 00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:56,839 Speaker 1: probably implied? That was implied. I guess what I need 702 00:49:56,920 --> 00:50:02,040 Speaker 1: is the what? Okay? Alright? What um? They've uh? They 703 00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:05,279 Speaker 1: have to raise a million dollars otherwise there the radio 704 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,000 Speaker 1: station gets shut down? Why why do they have to 705 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:11,280 Speaker 1: raise million dollars? Because no one's listening to the radio anymore? 706 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,760 Speaker 1: Because everyone Why don't they just get fired then? Because 707 00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:19,279 Speaker 1: why don't because go ahead, Joey, Oh, because we didn't. 708 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,680 Speaker 1: We didn't think of it like the way it would 709 00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,480 Speaker 1: end our story so fast? So what happy to say? Uh? 710 00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,400 Speaker 1: They would they want to have these radio stations. They 711 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:29,319 Speaker 1: have a big sale. Uh you know right, you get 712 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:34,799 Speaker 1: it right? Look, Uh this feels like a really half 713 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:40,160 Speaker 1: big pitch to me. Look, I'm j J Abrams. I 714 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,560 Speaker 1: haven't I have the first two thirds of everything I 715 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,759 Speaker 1: do worked out. The last act not so much. We 716 00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,439 Speaker 1: got the who, we got the were that's the first 717 00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:53,319 Speaker 1: two thirds. Okay, j J. I'm not familiar with your work. 718 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,000 Speaker 1: What what? What have you done anything that we've seen? 719 00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,680 Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell you my credits. Did you 720 00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,960 Speaker 1: direct commercials? Is that with that saus? We've done commercials. 721 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:04,080 Speaker 1: I've done commercials as well. Sure, Okay, in your hand 722 00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:06,200 Speaker 1: you like more trucks, get the more truck and put 723 00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:08,920 Speaker 1: you in your pocket. Okay, this was this was a mistake, 724 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:12,640 Speaker 1: Well yeah it was. It's not gonna work for us listen, 725 00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:15,640 Speaker 1: Joey has an exclusive deal with Adidas right now, So 726 00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:18,719 Speaker 1: does that mean it mean to you? I only wanted 727 00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:24,640 Speaker 1: to mean a shoe company. Yeah, okay, j j Like, 728 00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,160 Speaker 1: I only wanted to take this meeting because I was 729 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,040 Speaker 1: so impressed by the way Joey beat the ship out 730 00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:32,200 Speaker 1: of Schwarzenegger and Benicio del Toro, who was apparently French 731 00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:37,759 Speaker 1: at the Emmy Awards. Uh yeah, yeah it was. It 732 00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:42,120 Speaker 1: was uncalled for, but it was compelling. It was incredible television. 733 00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,480 Speaker 1: That's what you get when you work with us, sir, Like, 734 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,680 Speaker 1: I didn't know I was working with you. Pp I 735 00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:54,919 Speaker 1: am Joey Greer. Anything he does, I've written for him. Really, Yeah, 736 00:51:55,840 --> 00:52:01,040 Speaker 1: it's true. Wow, that was more a shocking ending than 737 00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:07,640 Speaker 1: any episode of Alias Shocking Shock Jock Radio Station. We 738 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:12,960 Speaker 1: got two shirts, we got two thirds. Oh sorry to interrupt, Joey, 739 00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,359 Speaker 1: your cops salt is here and your giant bucket of come. 740 00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:21,279 Speaker 1: I decided to superside over this cops salet. That's what 741 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:24,280 Speaker 1: a cop seal it is. You didn't let me finish. 742 00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:27,240 Speaker 1: I didn't want any fucking eggs on it. I'm sorry. 743 00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:28,839 Speaker 1: They're just on the top. Do you think you could 744 00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:34,440 Speaker 1: slide them to the side, or I don't peepe what 745 00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:37,120 Speaker 1: what's dealing with you? If we're doing ch orders, I 746 00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:39,600 Speaker 1: will also do a cop salad, no chicken, a cop, 747 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:43,879 Speaker 1: no egg, no bacon, no blue cheese. I also take 748 00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:47,600 Speaker 1: a bucket of come no come in it though, please. Okay, 749 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:52,640 Speaker 1: that's what I've wanted. So let us in a bucket. 750 00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:56,680 Speaker 1: Let us in a bucket. Okay, great, maybe a bucket 751 00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:59,680 Speaker 1: let us I'll let us bucket okay, great? Hey, Hey, 752 00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:06,240 Speaker 1: what what what's your name? Danica? No da Dana? Oh her? Sorry? 753 00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,880 Speaker 1: Do you know? Do you know Joey Greers? Of course 754 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:13,680 Speaker 1: he beat he beat the ship out of this Schwartzenegger 755 00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:17,799 Speaker 1: in Venicio del Toro. Yeah, that's right, that's right. Can 756 00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:21,200 Speaker 1: you explain to this old man here, Mr oldman Abrahams 757 00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:24,879 Speaker 1: that we are the future of COMMDI that we are 758 00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,000 Speaker 1: what's next? I mean, I don't know who the funk 759 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:35,399 Speaker 1: you are. But Joey is amazing. I mean, he he's 760 00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:42,440 Speaker 1: changed comedy. He's he's god just a sense of he 761 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:47,480 Speaker 1: really speaks to the heart of the listener and he's shocking. 762 00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:56,839 Speaker 1: But sweet um, I've seen his ding dong. It's yeah, 763 00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:00,719 Speaker 1: because you know his his thirty six size thirty six pants. Oh, 764 00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:04,239 Speaker 1: by the way, those are right here. I hope that's okay. 765 00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:07,239 Speaker 1: I want j J. I say we we thank d 766 00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,560 Speaker 1: D for the for the four one one on the 767 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,839 Speaker 1: Joey d D and we get pep the hell out 768 00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:16,520 Speaker 1: of here. Yeah, no p P, Yes, d D. I'm 769 00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:21,280 Speaker 1: j J and Joey Greer and that's our show for today. 770 00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,919 Speaker 1: He stay safe and healthy everybody out there. Let's thank 771 00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:29,400 Speaker 1: our alchemists. Please, um, miss Jessica Low, thank you so 772 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,400 Speaker 1: much for uh and again, I hope you enjoyed. Puppy 773 00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:34,919 Speaker 1: number two. We don't have a name yet. He's still 774 00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,560 Speaker 1: in that box outside. He's real quiet. Yeah, we're not 775 00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,879 Speaker 1: putting air holes in that box, so let's not tell 776 00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:43,399 Speaker 1: Chris right away or we put two air holes at least. 777 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:47,839 Speaker 1: But thank you Jessica very much. Please see you again immediately, 778 00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:55,200 Speaker 1: please and stay extremely healthy. Craig Kowski. Hey, uh, improv 779 00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:58,760 Speaker 1: is all streaming now, so in case I'm doing any shows, 780 00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:02,200 Speaker 1: you'll find out about it on at kiki Twitter. All right, 781 00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:06,000 Speaker 1: thank you for that. The real James Heeney right now, 782 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:09,400 Speaker 1: there's a lot of really cool video game footage of 783 00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:13,080 Speaker 1: the Dark Souls series on The Adventure Bits on YouTube. 784 00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:15,719 Speaker 1: You can also find us on Facebook. I'd love you 785 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,040 Speaker 1: to check it out. It's even if you're not into 786 00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:23,000 Speaker 1: video games. It's really funny. Right on, right on, Chris Alvarado, 787 00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:25,480 Speaker 1: Jessica and I were watching a show the other night, 788 00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:28,160 Speaker 1: Rember Jessica and some guy. Oh no, it was an 789 00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:29,759 Speaker 1: sn L sketch and some guy was like a video 790 00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:32,680 Speaker 1: gamer and people were watching what he was doing. And 791 00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:38,920 Speaker 1: then Jessica goes, I think that's what James does. That 792 00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,440 Speaker 1: was Kyle Mooney. And what I loved about that sketch 793 00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,239 Speaker 1: if we're talking about the same one. He was really 794 00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:47,800 Speaker 1: shitty at it, right he kept getting killed. The funny 795 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:51,320 Speaker 1: thing is is that's exactly what I became so popular 796 00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:53,799 Speaker 1: with like ten years ago on game Front. I was 797 00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:58,560 Speaker 1: so terrible that people tuned in like it's it was 798 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,000 Speaker 1: so weird. Because I watched too, I was like, that's 799 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:03,719 Speaker 1: exactly what I was doing on game Front. He could 800 00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,040 Speaker 1: have been a fan of yours. Let's find out it was. 801 00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:08,759 Speaker 1: It wasn't Col Mooney, though, was the other dude? I 802 00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:13,399 Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know his name. Oh, it's mikey Day. 803 00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:17,560 Speaker 1: My bad, My bad, my bad. It was totally love 804 00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:19,600 Speaker 1: that sketch, and thank you for correcting me. Let's give 805 00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:24,040 Speaker 1: the credit where it is deserved. Let's thank our producer 806 00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:28,400 Speaker 1: and engineer of the stars, Mr Doug Bain. Find folks 807 00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,239 Speaker 1: that I heart media. Fump bump, fump bump, and all 808 00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,839 Speaker 1: of you for listening. Please stay healthy and safe out there, 809 00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:37,160 Speaker 1: follow the rules, stay inside until we're allowed to go 810 00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:40,200 Speaker 1: out again. We love you so very much, and please 811 00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:41,840 Speaker 1: write to us at your name here at alchemy this 812 00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:45,520 Speaker 1: dot com and let us know everything that we can 813 00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:49,520 Speaker 1: do scenes suggestion wise to help us all get through 814 00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:52,520 Speaker 1: this madness, because this is incredibly healthy, believe it or not, 815 00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:56,120 Speaker 1: for us as well. I'm Kevin Pollock, your host until 816 00:56:56,160 --> 00:57:08,480 Speaker 1: next time, and a foll