1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: I just said to you, it's too early for us 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 1: to record. Have we ever recorded this early in the morning? 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:09,880 Speaker 1: Never normally. I'm not even up early. What are you 4 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: talking about? That's not even true. Trying to act like 5 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: that just slack or over there. I um, I rolled 6 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,920 Speaker 1: out of bed. I'm at my parents house in Virginia, 7 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: and I rolled out of bed and just had to 8 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: whip my hair in the sinking redo it because I 9 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: didn't have time for a full shower and my air 10 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: looked a mess. Oh no, can we talk about this 11 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,639 Speaker 1: special chair that you're sitting in right now. I'm in 12 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,840 Speaker 1: my parents My parents like formal living hair, and it's 13 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,479 Speaker 1: like it looks like I'm in the White House library 14 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: or something. Right on the Instagram for the people you 15 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: got Paisleys, I got it all. There's a lot of 16 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,919 Speaker 1: patterns going on in this room. And do you want 17 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: to see the funnies? Saying obviously I do. There's still 18 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: a Christmas tree up, um she My mom leaves it 19 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: up all year, Christmas in July, I guess, while we 20 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 1: are having Christmas in July, which is why I'm home. 21 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 1: But a few years ago my mom was like, fuck it, 22 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: I am tired of decorating this tree. So normally there's 23 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: a sheet wrapped around it. She's like, I'm not taking 24 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: it down anymore. Well, they also used to be so insistent, 25 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 1: like they were never going to get a fake tree, 26 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 1: and now that they're in their seventies, they're like, it's 27 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: such a mess spring in a real tree. It's little kids, 28 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: but it's yeah, it's so much We get a fake 29 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,960 Speaker 1: tree too. My mom has been allergic forever, so I 30 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: never really Christmas cheer. Well, now if you need some 31 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: Christmas chear, you can come to my parents house three year. 32 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: Anytime you show up, get that Christmas there you go, 33 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: there's still as I wonder whose present that is? There's 34 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: still a present over there? Oh my god, should you 35 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: open it? Yeah, we're back later with what was in 36 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: the present. You can report back next week for all 37 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: the listeners. So you're in Virginia, but you had quite 38 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 1: the big Fourth of July weekends and I haven't had 39 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: a chance to hear about it, and I would love to. Well, 40 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: if anybody listens, they know I love a good water park. Um. Well, 41 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 1: I've had friends in town for like five weeks, and 42 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: so we had some other friends coming into down and 43 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,959 Speaker 1: we're just trying to figure out something that like would 44 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,360 Speaker 1: be fun for a big group to do, and we 45 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: we landed on the Operyland Hotel and Nashville has this 46 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: like hundred million dollar water park they built a few 47 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: years ago and it's called sound Waves and it is 48 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,359 Speaker 1: indoor outdoor, so it's like even if a store of 49 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: lightning storm comes, like the parks stay, the indoor park 50 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 1: stays open. And so we were like, this is sort 51 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: of a full proof plan. Um, the way that you 52 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,519 Speaker 1: get in is you have to either book a room 53 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: at the hotel that comes with the sound Wave package, 54 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 1: and in terms were like six dollars a night, and 55 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 1: they were doing a two night minimum. So we're like, 56 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: screw that because you only get like four four passes 57 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: to the water park per room or something like that. 58 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: And um, so we rented a party like a kid's 59 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 1: birthday party room for two hours and it got like 60 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: we were able to have up to thirty people come 61 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: in for sixty three dollars in person, and it came 62 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: with like unlimited soda for the two hours of the 63 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: party room, unlimited pizza, which you know, I think it 64 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: was limited, but it was more pizza than we could eat. 65 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,679 Speaker 1: But um, and we did it like right when we 66 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: got there, so we had two hours where we could 67 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: just sort of like chill, like get acquainted with the 68 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: park and how our stuff locked in a room. And 69 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 1: then they have these like really high tech lockers that 70 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: you get. Your wrist band is associated with the lockers, 71 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: so it's like you walk up and you swipe and 72 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: it's like do you want to cancel your locker for 73 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: the rest of the day. Are you gonna be relocking it? 74 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: And then your locker pops open like anyway. Um, it's 75 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: so nice, and they limit the number of people that 76 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: go there so it's not it's never overcrowded, so the 77 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: lines move really quickly. And I am a pussy when 78 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 1: it comes to like scary slides normally, which is hilarious 79 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: to me that you you're like flapping around on the 80 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: jet ski doing all these I know, well you know 81 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: because like for me, like have you ever seen somebody 82 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: trying to get me on the back of the jet ski? 83 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: I won't do it. I'm terrified. Yeah, So um, like 84 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: literally Steff like was driving me on it and I 85 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: was like crying in her ear, like let me off. Um, 86 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: But yeah, they have this one slide where you get 87 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: in and a chamber closes around you and you hear 88 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: three and the floor drops out. I've heard it's actually 89 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 1: like it was terrified. I was like before the chamber closed, 90 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 1: I was like, I can't do this. I have to 91 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,359 Speaker 1: get out. I have to get out. And then I 92 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: thought about the seven year old who went right before me, 93 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 1: and I was like, you get out there to walk 94 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 1: down these stairs, you will literally ever lived lived, like 95 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: see the end of this from your friends. So because 96 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: everyone's at the end like waiting for me to come 97 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: down and like watch me do it. So I did it, 98 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: and it was you know the it literally takes like 99 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: two seconds and you're done, you know, like it's done 100 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: so fast. But like that split second where that door opens, 101 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: I think, what then have I done? You're just gone? Honest, 102 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:28,919 Speaker 1: pretty amazing. Did you pee and your pants at all? No? 103 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: I did, like from fear. Did you take a little 104 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: ship in your pants? Draft? No? No, no, no ship. 105 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 1: But we were in the Lazy River and I looked 106 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: over my friend had thrown up what I'm dead? I 107 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,600 Speaker 1: looked at him, I was like, did you just throw up? It? 108 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 1: Dissipated really quickly, and he was like no, and I 109 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, you did. I saw it. It's he 110 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 1: liked he like got water and up his nose or something. 111 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 1: It calls him to like choke. It was like so 112 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 1: red from coughing, and then he went back underwater and 113 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 1: that's what he threw up underwater. I like, so it's 114 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: like an adult. If that happens to an adult, think 115 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 1: what the kids are doing. Like there's all sorts of 116 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 1: things coming out of all sorts of orifices we just 117 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: don't even know. Yeah, well that sounds really fun, except 118 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: for the throw up part. But thank god I was 119 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 1: past him the direction that the water was flowing, So 120 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: thank god you don't want any of those chunks to 121 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: sleep in. Um, I just told you. I was like, 122 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: what's your update? And I mean you're like, oh, I 123 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: think I'll talk about sound waves. And I was like, cool, 124 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 1: I'm going to talk about the patriarchy, and you're like, 125 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: a patriarchy update. Well it's that hold on, I'm a 126 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: zoom window just closed on me or there we are, okay, Um, 127 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: so yeah, a patriarchy update for the people. So basically, 128 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,280 Speaker 1: I've been reading this book is called a Radical Awakening, 129 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: and it's by this lady named Dr v she Fali 130 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 1: and I founder on the Oprah podcast of course, you 131 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 1: know where I find all my people. People get so 132 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,239 Speaker 1: sick of me talking about it because I'm so obsessed 133 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: with oro Um. But anyway, she's amazing and I'm reading 134 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: this book and it's amazing, and she talks, you know, 135 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 1: just about her journey um from breaking the rules of 136 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: the patriarchy and you know, really having a radical awakening 137 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: within herself as a woman and a female and what 138 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 1: that means for her life and relationships. And but at 139 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: the point being that I'm getting right now is you know, 140 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 1: I've spent a lot of years really angry at men 141 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: and just like this is bullshit, and like especially just 142 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 1: like white heterosexual men, and so I think that I'm 143 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: like frustrated with the patriarchy. But this book is really 144 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: great because she's not really like downing on men. You know, 145 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: she's saying, there is a problem with some mentalities, but 146 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: it's a it's a bigger issue and just meant it's 147 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: us too, And it's the programming that we've all had 148 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 1: our entire lives up until this point that we're all 149 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 1: operating under so women are operating in a role within 150 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: the patriarchy as well well. And so I'm learning all 151 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: this stuff and kind of looking at myself like, yeah, 152 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: actually this is right. And how much have I played 153 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 1: into um using you know, like things like you know, 154 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: a man is going to be attracted to certain looks, 155 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: so dressing a certain way and um, making that make 156 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: you feel validated, but still starting to realize like, no, 157 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: that's still external validation or that's still playing into exactly 158 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: what you're getting angry about. And so I'm sitting here 159 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: reading this book while I'm on vacation this weekend, and 160 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: I'm also posting all these bikini pictures from my vacation, like, 161 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 1: oh my god, what a hypocrite? Or is this actually 162 00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 1: what I want to be doing? You know, there's a 163 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: lot of things like I have a deal with Revolve, 164 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: and so they send me a bunch of clothes that 165 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: I love, and I want to keep that deal. I 166 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: love Revolved. It's like my favorite clothing company that I 167 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 1: shopped from, and so um to get sent close from 168 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 1: them every month is awesome because I love them. And 169 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: so my obligation, though is obviously post about it, and 170 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,679 Speaker 1: so I'm doing that, but I'm also like, wait, if 171 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:25,319 Speaker 1: I'm posting in a Spakiti, is it like sexualizing myself? 172 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: Am I like using sex to sell? Am I downplaying 173 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 1: all the other aspects of myself but only posting about 174 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: this stuff. And so I'm not like going to stop 175 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 1: doing that right this second, because I'm still navigating what 176 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 1: I even want in that. But the other point being 177 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: like I'm way more than just a bikini picture, right, 178 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: and like I think a lot of us are, and 179 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,599 Speaker 1: so I want to just make sure that I'm authentically 180 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: communicating who I am as human and not just like, oh, 181 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: let me try to sell some clothes or something, you know, 182 00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 1: Like I mean, look, you don't only host bakini picks, well, 183 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 1: And I also think you need to ask yourself who 184 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: you're doing it for. Like, if you feel like you 185 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,319 Speaker 1: look hot and you're proud of yourself, then fucking post 186 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,959 Speaker 1: a bikini pig like you know. I'm curious if this book, 187 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,680 Speaker 1: um like how far back it goes into like humanity, 188 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:22,079 Speaker 1: because I would imagine that like this whole patriarchal system 189 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: like goes back to like caveman days, where it's like 190 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: someone has maybe while someone went and hunted, you know, like, 191 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 1: so I would I feel like probably nine times, at 192 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: nine point nine times out of ten, the bigger, stronger 193 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: person in the relationship was the man who went hunting. 194 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 1: So it was like, well, listen, it's not to say 195 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: that that's the way that it needs to be today, 196 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,199 Speaker 1: because we don't have to go kill our food, you know. Like, 197 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: but but that system is that ingrained into who we 198 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: are genetically as human beings, and I actually don't know that. 199 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 1: To me, that's not a problem. Like I actually leave 200 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: and masculine and feminine energies and like the things that 201 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: like my boyfriend not talked about this all the time. 202 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: He's like, I want to be like a provider for you. 203 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,079 Speaker 1: It gives me joy. I like it, you know, like 204 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: he really thrives on providing in the certain ways that 205 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 1: are pretty typical of a man in the society. I 206 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: actually really thrive on Like I've noticed this mostly around 207 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,440 Speaker 1: his girls. Like it has given me so much joy 208 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: to be able to nurture and like mother in a 209 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 1: way and like give those kind of loving, uh qualities 210 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: that I didn't even fully understand that I possessed until this. 211 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,880 Speaker 1: Those relationships um to other people, you know, and that's 212 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: a very typical feminine role um. And I don't think 213 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: those things are wrong. Like I think masculine and feminine 214 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: energies are within all of us, and some people are 215 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,960 Speaker 1: like I'm way more on the feminine scale with my energy, 216 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 1: but it's about finding balance and um, I don't think 217 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: you should shame yourself for that though, Like I don't 218 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: think it's like those aren't the issues, But like the 219 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: other conversations that I'm having, you know, sometimes they're just 220 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 1: like how certain guys that I'm around, Like I mean, 221 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,559 Speaker 1: especially in the industry I working, refer to women or 222 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 1: like talking about, oh, she's so freaking hot or you know, 223 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: like things that I'm just like, wait it how I 224 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: don't know, Like I'm still dissecting what this is, so 225 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: it's like kind of hard for me to talk about 226 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 1: all the time. But like, but like as women, I 227 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 1: think sometimes I know I feel competition against other women 228 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: or like I'm put on this scale of like am 229 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: I hotter than her? She's hotter than me? And like 230 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: those kind of things are the things that I actually 231 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 1: think are the issues, because they're like objectifying us in 232 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 1: this way that we feel like we're going to be 233 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:51,319 Speaker 1: measured on some scale against another woman, thus hindering our 234 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: own psyche and our ability to um support other women. 235 00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: And I was just about to absolutely and that she 236 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,679 Speaker 1: talks about this in that book is just like men 237 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,439 Speaker 1: are objectified on different levels, like being quote unquote strong 238 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: or being successful and like it. But I'm asking the 239 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: questions of, like, if we're all judging each other on 240 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:18,319 Speaker 1: these external things, like what kind of disservice are we 241 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 1: actually doing to who people actually are? And that's the 242 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:27,600 Speaker 1: problem with the patriarchy to me. So anyway, you know 243 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 1: what's funny is like you know, in your Instagram feed, 244 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 1: like you said, I see on my score page, like 245 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:41,439 Speaker 1: these people that literally, I mean seemingly the only thing 246 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: they have going for them is that they're hot, and 247 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of people follow them or millions in 248 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: some cases, and um, you know, obviously it's the first 249 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,440 Speaker 1: thing that we see about anybody is what they look like. 250 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 1: So the physicality is the first thing that we can 251 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,119 Speaker 1: judge someone on off Like you never talked to somebody, 252 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 1: all you have is you know what you're seeing. So 253 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 1: so that explains some of that. But like what does 254 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: it say about us as human beings that like, these 255 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 1: are the people that we are most drawn to like 256 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 1: click and like, you know, like it's right and it's 257 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 1: and Instagram is feeding into that problem, I think, and 258 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: exacerbating it because it's like someone who doesn't look like 259 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 1: those people wakes up every day and is assaulted with 260 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: these visuals and wonders why no one's following them, you know, 261 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 1: and yea, social media in general, I think has exacerbated 262 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 1: an issue that was already there, but it's made it 263 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 1: so much more acceptable to be like because people are 264 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: quote unquote Instagram models are getting famous from social media, 265 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: and a lot of times it is based off of 266 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 1: how much you're exposing, the shock factor, how hot you are. 267 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 1: And I don't know if there's anything wrong with that. 268 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 1: I know, for me, I'm starting to get to maybe 269 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 1: this is an age thing, but like I you know, 270 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 1: that isn't a driving factor in my life as much 271 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 1: as it once was. Maybe. Um. Also, I think when 272 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 1: you start aging, you realize like, oh, the ship is bleeding, 273 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: like they say, um, and there's only so much you 274 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: can control about that, and so what else, like what 275 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 1: else do you bring to the table, and one of 276 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: our friends actually has been on me for a while, 277 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 1: like you talk this talk about really, you know, wanting 278 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: to like spiritually grow with people, and that's what makes 279 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 1: that's what drives you. That's where you feel the real 280 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 1: connection with humans. And then you post a bikini pick 281 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: and so she's like, so I'm just confused, and I 282 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 1: know you, and so that's really where it's coming from. 283 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 1: Is this like underlying question I've been asking myself of, like, yes, 284 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: what are my motives too? What do I actually want 285 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 1: to be contributing to society and communicating to the people 286 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: in the community that we have built? And I don't 287 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: know that it has to be one or the other. 288 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 1: Like I always say, I want to be velvet and edge, 289 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: and so maybe there's a way to be all of it, 290 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,160 Speaker 1: but I just want to be all of it versus 291 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 1: like trying to like are just communicating a part of 292 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: me or a part truth or you know, like like clothes. 293 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna talk about clothes like that feels 294 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: like it really dumps me down, to be honest, and 295 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: so these are just anyway, the questions I'm debating. The 296 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 1: book is awesome if anyone is starting to ask themselves 297 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: these same types of questions, or um, maybe just wanting 298 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 1: to grow and like challenge yourself. I think these are 299 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 1: the questions being asked for our culture as a whole, 300 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: and I personally want to be a part of the conversation. 301 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: And I know I've contributed to the problem, so I'm 302 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 1: ready to like really try to learn about that and 303 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 1: look at it. And that's what I'm gonna get you. 304 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: Ice cream. I'm gonna make you eat ice cream every 305 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,960 Speaker 1: time are together. I want to see you earlier. Oh 306 00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 1: you pet kid Kurby Kelly, Well, if you also want 307 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 1: to see me ship my pants, feed me a bunch 308 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: of ice cream because I don't do dary so I 309 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 1: mean talk talk about humility. You're like, she wants to 310 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 1: be removed from the conversation of objectifications. Oh we know 311 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:26,200 Speaker 1: you told us anyway. Also, you guys go check out 312 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,640 Speaker 1: the comments on my Instagram page. It at Velvet Edge, 313 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,880 Speaker 1: there was a mixed bag, you know, it was like fun. 314 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 1: Well know, I posted a bikini pick and then had 315 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 1: this huge caption asking all of these questions and just 316 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,959 Speaker 1: kind of the struggle that I've been internally having and 317 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,640 Speaker 1: wanting people to give me their insight, and also like, 318 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: do you all struggle with this too? Because I don't 319 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: really know the next right step sometimes and I just 320 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,679 Speaker 1: love to hear what other people are doing. And then 321 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 1: there were some guys who contributed and I thought it 322 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 1: was actually really interesting because it's that same thing of like, um, 323 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,400 Speaker 1: I to say, like, you know, I'm not racist. How 324 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 1: could you even say I'm racist? Like I don't like, 325 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: I don't think about black people. It's different. I don't like. 326 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: I didn't contemplate it. And so I thought that, man, 327 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: I wasn't racist. And then when all of this stuff 328 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: really flared up again with Black Lives Matter, I realized 329 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 1: that not paying attention to it and not understanding another 330 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 1: perspective is actually a part of the problem, you know. 331 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,920 Speaker 1: But I didn't get it. I didn't get it because 332 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 1: I grew up in the South in a certain way. 333 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,160 Speaker 1: I just like had certain mindsets that I didn't even 334 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 1: know I had. And it's the same thing with women. 335 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 1: And that's all I'm saying, Yeah, you have to I'll 336 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,920 Speaker 1: have Well, no, I'll just have to read through your Instagram. Um, 337 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: it's that I used to follow. UM. I can't remember 338 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: what the handle is. I feel like it was called 339 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,919 Speaker 1: like unnecessary caption or something like that, and that's it 340 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 1: was like thirsty picks. But then being like it would 341 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,920 Speaker 1: you know, like and it was it wasn't like what 342 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: you're you were actually trying to get to the heart 343 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: of a matter. This would be like, you know, a 344 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,720 Speaker 1: thirsty girl in amating suit and would be like, you, guys, 345 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:09,400 Speaker 1: global warming is a problem. You know, like oh, you know, 346 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:15,679 Speaker 1: like and like what, oh my god. I work for 347 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: this one client of mine and he's a comedian and 348 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 1: he um we were talking the last time we were 349 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: on a set and he was like making fun of 350 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 1: kind of the same issue about how girls and this 351 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 1: is such an influencer thing. I'm sure I've fucking done it. 352 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: But you like post a picture in this really cute 353 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,120 Speaker 1: outfit and like you obviously like got really done up, 354 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,640 Speaker 1: did your makeup, You're like full blown glam and then 355 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 1: they're like just devoured up twelve pack from Chick fil A, 356 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: you know, like you like this, You're like, come on, bitch, 357 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,640 Speaker 1: you don't need that. Yeah, there's no chance in hell. Right, 358 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 1: we were just laughing. Hashtag sponsored hashtag I'm not really 359 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:05,919 Speaker 1: wearing us, right, now anyway, Well, a couple of the 360 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 1: topics that touched on in my patriarchy rant kind of 361 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: alter us into this next topic that you and I 362 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 1: were going to talk about today. Um, Instagram has been 363 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: you know, a big contributor, I would say, in a 364 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:26,239 Speaker 1: lot of my friendship issues over the past I don't know, 365 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: ten years. Like, as an adult, I think that social 366 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: media and it's probably I'm sure goes for younger kids too, 367 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,119 Speaker 1: but um, it can really affect the way that we 368 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,640 Speaker 1: look at our friends, the relationships we have with our friends. 369 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: Maybe their opinions come out a little bit more on 370 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 1: social media that they would never say in real life, 371 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,959 Speaker 1: like things like that. Really, these dynamics really play into 372 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,920 Speaker 1: friendships and maybe also friendship breakups. So you and I 373 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 1: were going to kind of talk about how to handle 374 00:20:54,800 --> 00:21:00,200 Speaker 1: adult friend breakups because lord knows we've both been through some. Yeah. Well, 375 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 1: I mean I also think too, it's like, um, you know, 376 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 1: the social media part of it is, um yeah, I 377 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 1: mean it's just lends itself to exposing our ourselves, sides 378 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 1: of ourselves that like maybe we would be a little 379 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 1: bit more, um, we would keep a little bit more guarded. Um, 380 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 1: just because I feel like sometimes people are like looking 381 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 1: for things to say or like how easy it is 382 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,760 Speaker 1: to share something that is just like inappropriate or might 383 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: upset somebody that's close to you because it's a snap 384 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: moment where you're like you don't realize, like how might 385 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 1: you know affect somebody that you actually care about, or 386 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: maybe you don't care about it and didn't realize that 387 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,040 Speaker 1: your friendship was based on nothing, you know, like because 388 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,640 Speaker 1: sometimes you I mean, look, I think anybody who's listening, 389 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,640 Speaker 1: like we're we've all had friends that were like, why 390 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 1: am I friends with this person? You know what I mean, 391 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: like at some point in our life. Um, And sometimes 392 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,919 Speaker 1: it's not even for a nasty reason. You're just like 393 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: other they're fun to be around, you know, or whatever 394 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,640 Speaker 1: the reason is. And it's not anything that has any 395 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: sort of like it's not based in anything that's like 396 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:17,479 Speaker 1: super real or substantial. Substantial. Yeah, yeah, I think in 397 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaker 1: your twenties or I don't know, and maybe this isn't 398 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,239 Speaker 1: This was the case for me, and I'm curious if 399 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: it was for you too, But in your twenties, a 400 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,000 Speaker 1: lot of times you are looking for the friends you 401 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,399 Speaker 1: can just have fun with, you know, or like or 402 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,879 Speaker 1: you can kind of maybe file some people away, like oh, 403 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,880 Speaker 1: well that's who I go to X, Y and Z with, 404 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 1: and that's who I go party with, and that's who 405 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: I know I can call when I actually really need something. 406 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: But you keep the riff raff around because, especially if 407 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 1: you're single, you have the time, you have the space, 408 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: you have the energy. You have less responsibilities at a 409 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,240 Speaker 1: younger age, and so like it doesn't really matter. You're like, oh, 410 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 1: go have a drink with this person, but like, am 411 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: I going to call them if I cut off my leg? 412 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 1: Probably not? You know, like that that dynamic. Then you 413 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: get older, and sometimes I think it's conscious and sometimes 414 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,159 Speaker 1: it's just not. But you can start to get in 415 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,439 Speaker 1: these dynamics with people where I don't know, maybe you 416 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: want more from relationships. You have less time. You um 417 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 1: start to like really want to spend the time an 418 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: energy that you have into the relationships that can cover 419 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,959 Speaker 1: more than just a party vibe for you or a 420 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 1: fun vibe. And so you probably read more in your life, 421 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 1: Like you have stronger opinions about things. I mean, like 422 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 1: politics probably plays a role into a lot of it. 423 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 1: And it's like I never gave a ship about politics 424 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 1: when I was like, I mean, I started voting when 425 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 1: I was eighteen, but it wasn't I wasn't that informed. 426 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 1: Like I was just kind of like voted on party 427 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 1: lines and was like, well this is what I am, 428 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna vote this, so um. You know. I 429 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 1: think we're just more educated. The older you get, you 430 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,199 Speaker 1: learn more and you figure out more about yourself and 431 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 1: about the world. Yeah, and I think you know yourself more. 432 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: So you're just like did you just say that? Yeah? 433 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: I had a like brain, I was like, wait, did 434 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: you just say that? Or am I like I should 435 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 1: have said, yeah, I'm just checking my email guests, I'm not. Actually, 436 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: I was thinking about your point and a meant to say, yes, 437 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: I agree with you. You You know yourself more, you know 438 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 1: where you stand. I do think also the nature of 439 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 1: the culture matters, because like lately politics are so divisive. 440 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: It's like it's really difficult to be friends with people 441 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,960 Speaker 1: who were on the other side instead of like in 442 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,720 Speaker 1: the past, I was just like, ah, they vote the 443 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: other way, it doesn't matter though. Well, I think it 444 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: was one of those things where it's like politics was 445 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:53,159 Speaker 1: really something that like people didn't talk about. Yeah, you know, 446 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: it wasn't like I mean, it wasn't the news, but 447 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,159 Speaker 1: it wasn't like the news. It was just like it 448 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 1: was an opinion. So yeah, it's like you go to 449 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: on any sort of news website or watch any sort 450 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,399 Speaker 1: of news channel and it is what the news is. 451 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,959 Speaker 1: So what do you have any personal experience with adult 452 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 1: friendship breakups and what thoughts do you have about that 453 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: for the people? Well, I mean, yeah, it's like I um, 454 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I guess, look, I think I've I've probably 455 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 1: got a lot of um, a lot of experience with it, 456 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 1: like some more dramatic than others. I mean, I'm somebody 457 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,920 Speaker 1: that's moved a lot. Like I grew up in Virginia. 458 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,960 Speaker 1: I went to college in Virginia. I moved to New York. 459 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 1: I lived there for six years, and I moved to 460 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,679 Speaker 1: l A. I lived there for eleven years. And now 461 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: I've been a national farm of six And it's like 462 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,199 Speaker 1: because of some of those moves, friendships deteriorate, you know, 463 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,880 Speaker 1: and like some some to more degree than others. It's 464 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 1: like true with my true like closest, the people that 465 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 1: I love the most, it's like I cannot talk to 466 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 1: them for a year and get on the phone with them, 467 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,160 Speaker 1: or like go on a trip and see them, and 468 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,120 Speaker 1: it's like we pick up right where we left off, 469 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:06,400 Speaker 1: you know, like and that's easy because friends love each 470 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 1: other and you don't. You know, it's like, um, you 471 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,159 Speaker 1: don't feel the pressure to like I feel like you 472 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,119 Speaker 1: have to provide something to them. You know, it's just 473 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,479 Speaker 1: like being you as all that they need. Um. And 474 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: then you you learn about the friends like when when 475 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,399 Speaker 1: distance is created where it's a little bit more of 476 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 1: a struggle and you're like, wow, this person drives me 477 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,720 Speaker 1: fucking crazy, you know, like um. And then there's the 478 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 1: ones that like if you never or saw their name again, 479 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,159 Speaker 1: like you'd be like, wow, I forgot about that person. 480 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 1: So it's like it was I really I was more 481 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,680 Speaker 1: friendly than friends. UM. And then they're the ones that 482 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,479 Speaker 1: are in your life that you're like, why is this 483 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,720 Speaker 1: person in my life? Like we just don't see eye 484 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 1: to eye on anything, um, other than just having a 485 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 1: good time. And you know at this stage, like I 486 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,800 Speaker 1: don't need that sort of drama. So um, you know 487 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: it's I don't love I'm not the type that to fight, 488 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 1: Like I don't like to argue. I don't like things 489 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 1: to be super dramatic. I would much rather things sort 490 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: of fizzle. But you know, the older you get, too, 491 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 1: it's like I have to I want to understand why 492 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,320 Speaker 1: I'm making decisions that I'm making and not just be 493 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: a fucking pussy and like run from things just because 494 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: it's more comfortable to like not have to deal with ship. Um. 495 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 1: And but then there's sometimes where it's like, literally drama 496 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,399 Speaker 1: is not worth it, you know, like you have to 497 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 1: just remove yourself from a situation because there's typically in 498 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 1: those cases, it's like there's an impasse and you're not 499 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 1: like fighting about something, arguing about something or even trying 500 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,200 Speaker 1: to work something out is going to yield the same 501 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 1: result as just walking away. Um. And most recently, I 502 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: think that's kind of what happened in uh, you know, 503 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 1: I don't need to really go into details, but like, um, 504 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 1: I think that's kind of what happened in a relationship 505 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 1: of mine and you know, my my, Like I would 506 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,439 Speaker 1: still call the person a friend. You know, it's like 507 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,880 Speaker 1: we're just on different planes, and you know, I wish 508 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 1: them nothing but like happiness and health and which is 509 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,160 Speaker 1: I mean, to be honest, even when we were closer, 510 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,639 Speaker 1: like that was what I wanted for them to, you know. 511 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: And um, you know, it's sometimes people don't want to 512 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:25,640 Speaker 1: help themselves, you know. And um, there's only so much 513 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: that you can do for a person, um. And so 514 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 1: I'm always of the mindset to try and like have 515 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: the like smoothest exit possible. Um. But if it's somebody 516 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: that you just like that I like fucking love and 517 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 1: want them in my life and like am willing to 518 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 1: fight for it, then maybe it's a little bit more 519 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,480 Speaker 1: of a bumpy for the situation where you do like 520 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 1: lean into the fight because it's something that like you need, 521 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 1: you know, you're fighting for yourself. You're not necessarily fighting 522 00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: with them, You're fighting for something that you really want 523 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 1: to love, you know. And I think that applies to 524 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: like romantic relationships, so it's not just like a friend thing. 525 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 1: So I actually think that all of these topics of 526 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: friendship breakups are probably the same things you bump up 527 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,480 Speaker 1: against in your romantic relationships. Like as you were talking, 528 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 1: I was just thinking about my two major adult friendship breakups, 529 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: and they've both involved us starting to work together. And 530 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:36,959 Speaker 1: that's that's a tough one because I think that you know, 531 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: we all have these dynamics with our friends. I can 532 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 1: think about people that are, you know, my very best 533 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: friends now that I love so incredibly much, that brings 534 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,400 Speaker 1: so much to my life, that offered me so much 535 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 1: love and support and kindness and generosity and all the 536 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 1: things that I would want in a friendship. UM also 537 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 1: would have a difficult time like being in a partnership 538 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:04,320 Speaker 1: or like maybe even a marriage with a couple of 539 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 1: my friends that I feel that way about. And so 540 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: that's an interesting thing to think about, is like, um, 541 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 1: you know somebody on a certain level, but like when 542 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: you open yourself up to this deeper expansion, like you 543 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 1: do have to be prepared for what comes with that. 544 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 1: And I think it can work. But I think it's 545 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:27,840 Speaker 1: like the awareness factor that I didn't necessarily factor in, um, 546 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 1: the differences in my personalities with that. Of those two 547 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 1: relationships that I'm speaking of, I mean, I'm pretty sure 548 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 1: everyone knows one of them because it was on TVs. 549 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:46,200 Speaker 1: But but you know, when you go for it, I 550 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,240 Speaker 1: didn't have anything. I was laughing. Oh, I was just 551 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 1: gonna say, like, and you know, in terms of like 552 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: that work relationship to it's like different things motivate us. 553 00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 1: That's right to work, you know. And when you take 554 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 1: friendship and you turn it into a work relationship, you're 555 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,360 Speaker 1: going to see sides of people that like was it 556 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 1: didn't need to be there for your friendship because it 557 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 1: was about a different thing. So when the motivation behind 558 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 1: your friendship changes, you better be ready to like react 559 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 1: to it or accept it, because, um, you know, it 560 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 1: might not be what you thought it was. And I 561 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,840 Speaker 1: think that's what you kind of learned, Like, yeah, that's 562 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 1: one particular relationship, Like, well, we had different motivations, just 563 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,920 Speaker 1: like you said, And I think that's very clear, and 564 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,880 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure the other side would say the same thing. Um, 565 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 1: and those motivations, uh, or the things that maybe drave 566 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,200 Speaker 1: us in life are the things that matter, or the 567 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 1: willingness to show up to even like work through things, 568 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 1: like all of that was off. And so when you 569 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 1: think about it in terms of like if you were 570 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 1: thinking about it in a romantic relationship, I would look 571 00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,280 Speaker 1: at that person and be like I could never date 572 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 1: or marry that person because we couldn't build a life 573 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,240 Speaker 1: together because we want different things, right, Um, did it 574 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 1: work on a different level of fun and laughter? And 575 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 1: all of those things absolutely. So that's where it gets 576 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: really sad, because it doesn't mean that all of that 577 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:23,480 Speaker 1: history didn't factor in or matter or go away, you know. 578 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,120 Speaker 1: And I think that's where the pain can come in 579 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,960 Speaker 1: a lot of times. This whole conversation got started, I 580 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 1: should mention too because of social media, and I texted 581 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,840 Speaker 1: you yesterday because of some stuff that I was seeing 582 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 1: and just feeling completely exposed again, and uh, you know, 583 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,640 Speaker 1: the things you can make up in your head are 584 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: happening when you see pictures on social media, like what 585 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 1: the conversations are behind the scene or what people are 586 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:53,080 Speaker 1: saying about you. And that is a huge aspect of 587 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 1: friendship breakups that I think can really play into, like 588 00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 1: our grieving of it, or our mentalities or anger, how 589 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,800 Speaker 1: we process the breakup. Because God, it got in my 590 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: head yesterday like just feeling like, oh, this is so 591 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,640 Speaker 1: frustrating because I know they're going to say this and 592 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,840 Speaker 1: that's not true about me, but it's this narrative in 593 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,040 Speaker 1: their head for whatever reason, and it's so frustrating to 594 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 1: not be there and be able to defend yourself. And 595 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,280 Speaker 1: you were like, Kelly, it doesn't fucking matter, right, Well, 596 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,120 Speaker 1: I mean, the thing is is like that and that's 597 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,160 Speaker 1: not the truth is is that's not even you that's worrying. 598 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 1: That's your ego to step again, being like they're going 599 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 1: to be talking about me when literally they were probably 600 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 1: talking about what their favorite flavor of truly is, you 601 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 1: know what I mean, like because they have nothing to 602 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 1: offer the world, these people that were referring to, And 603 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 1: you know, it's like the only reason they probably like 604 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 1: they might not even have been hanging out. They like 605 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: ran into each other on the beach and took a 606 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 1: picture to share on social media because they want to 607 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:55,200 Speaker 1: boost each other's numbers. It's like it's probably literally that simple, 608 00:33:55,640 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 1: but like you go so deep on it and I'm like, wait, 609 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 1: a bitute. You don't even care if these people like you, 610 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,520 Speaker 1: which is crazy how it can snowball. Well, it was 611 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,960 Speaker 1: my ego, and it was also I think it was 612 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: feeling infiltrated in my entire life, like world colliding and 613 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,759 Speaker 1: just feeling like, oh my god, and you you said 614 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: to me again, you reminded me, none of those people 615 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,839 Speaker 1: believe the same things you do, are on the same 616 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,279 Speaker 1: journey that you are, Like it doesn't matter, like let 617 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 1: them go, and you can do it with love. Like 618 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,120 Speaker 1: with love, just let people go and let them go 619 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,600 Speaker 1: on their journeys. But it doesn't align with yours anymore. 620 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 1: And so that's the bigger thing is stop making up 621 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:38,920 Speaker 1: stories in your head. You're right, like, I don't know 622 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: that they were talking about that's like my ego being like, oh, 623 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 1: they're talking about me, but like, no, they're probably not, 624 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,440 Speaker 1: Like nobody cares about you the way you care about 625 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,960 Speaker 1: you or nobody, like you're not in anybody's mouth as 626 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,600 Speaker 1: much as you know, you think you want to think 627 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,879 Speaker 1: you are so and even if they are saying shit, 628 00:34:55,200 --> 00:35:01,680 Speaker 1: why do I care, Like totally, yeah, it's like um 629 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,320 Speaker 1: in the same way that like, you know, we're availably 630 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:08,359 Speaker 1: not not so availably discussing them now. But it's like, 631 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 1: I mean, it's I don't care, Like, go go live 632 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: your life, girls, you know, like live your lives because 633 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,360 Speaker 1: it doesn't affect me, Like it can only affect you 634 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 1: if you choose to let those things affect you, you know, 635 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 1: And it's and I know it's a lot of times 636 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 1: it doesn't feel like a choice because they're feelings and 637 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,239 Speaker 1: they come across you and like, but you have to 638 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 1: process them and the choices whether or not you let 639 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,440 Speaker 1: it affect you or you say by bit, you know, 640 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 1: like because you don't really need it. It's like those 641 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 1: things in your day, you know. And I know, like 642 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 1: we both process things very differently, Like you're much more 643 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: of a feeler and I'm just like, I've got my 644 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:59,200 Speaker 1: fucking rain x on them. Let it roll off. I 645 00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:07,400 Speaker 1: went through the car, got rain x. You've got like 646 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:15,080 Speaker 1: your poncho on. You're just like, yeah, it did. It 647 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,360 Speaker 1: sent me down maybe like a full hour. I was 648 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,880 Speaker 1: like dark. It kind of took you saying to me, 649 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 1: like snap out of it for me to go, wait 650 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,360 Speaker 1: a second. I have processed this. I've done this dance already. 651 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 1: I know the journey that I'm on. It doesn't have 652 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:33,239 Speaker 1: to They're like happiness success their journey. It doesn't have 653 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,239 Speaker 1: to take anything away from mine. They're just different, you know, 654 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,279 Speaker 1: And I'm just gonna try to send them off with 655 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:42,480 Speaker 1: love and not say bobbit like you would. But but 656 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:47,120 Speaker 1: you know, yeah, I mean it's been a painful process 657 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,359 Speaker 1: in both situations, and the one of them though, it's 658 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,440 Speaker 1: been interesting because as we've gotten really removed from it, 659 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,399 Speaker 1: I think we've we can go back to a place 660 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:59,720 Speaker 1: of appreciate, appreciating each other and each other's journeys versus 661 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,799 Speaker 1: being like Piste off that it didn't work out, Like 662 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 1: we just are different, like you said, and she's in 663 00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 1: a great place now, and I also feel like I'm 664 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,520 Speaker 1: moving towards a better place that happened and have my 665 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,759 Speaker 1: own stuff going on. And it doesn't have to like 666 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:16,560 Speaker 1: we don't have to compete. We don't have to like 667 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,120 Speaker 1: be mad at each other. It was just not It 668 00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:21,160 Speaker 1: was all there at the time for the reason it 669 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 1: served its purpose. And now we've gone our separate ways. 670 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:28,839 Speaker 1: So what was interesting though, is um when we first 671 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,480 Speaker 1: thought of this topic, I literally was like, let me 672 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 1: just see if there's anything on the internet. I googled, 673 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,080 Speaker 1: is there like something about how to survive a friendship breakup? 674 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:42,120 Speaker 1: And a million articles popped up, like Oprah's talked about this, 675 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,520 Speaker 1: not that you know, just to drop Obra again, Goop 676 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,080 Speaker 1: has this article that I'm gonna read now, Women's Health, 677 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,120 Speaker 1: all these things. So this is the thing people deal with. 678 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,759 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times with friendships, we 679 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:55,480 Speaker 1: try to hold onto things because of the history versus 680 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 1: like does this relationship actually serve me in the same 681 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 1: way that we would look at a romantic relationship. Um, 682 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,080 Speaker 1: but I thought this was interesting. Goop asked the question, 683 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,040 Speaker 1: what's the psychology behind friendship breakups and why are they 684 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,000 Speaker 1: so painful? And I'm not going to read their whole 685 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:14,760 Speaker 1: answer because it's really long, but ultimately the big answer 686 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,920 Speaker 1: was we're grieving a part of us that we can't 687 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:21,200 Speaker 1: we think we can't be without. And also it makes 688 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,480 Speaker 1: us question ourselves when relationships don't work out. So like 689 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,080 Speaker 1: if you bump up against something or someone has a 690 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,320 Speaker 1: big issue with you, and I know this is totally 691 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,759 Speaker 1: the case for me. Um, it makes you go, wait, 692 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,640 Speaker 1: do I do that? Or like did I bring that 693 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,280 Speaker 1: to the table? Was this my fault? Like that person 694 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:44,880 Speaker 1: is so specifically saying this as it's like this fact 695 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,279 Speaker 1: even though I don't feel like that's true. It makes 696 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 1: you start to question yourself, right, and I think that's 697 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:54,760 Speaker 1: actually a really normal thing. Ultimately. You know it's funny 698 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 1: is that I wonder why most of the websites that 699 00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,200 Speaker 1: you found that stuff on our female leaning to, Like, 700 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:08,360 Speaker 1: I wonder if there's something um to this, like women 701 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 1: hanging onto because you're more emotional beings hanging on to 702 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,319 Speaker 1: like the idea of a friendship more than in men. 703 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,439 Speaker 1: I can see that. I also think dudes are either 704 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:24,839 Speaker 1: just like whatever, dude, uh, and they move on and 705 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 1: keep the friendship, but like they kind of followed away 706 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,919 Speaker 1: in certain places, or they've seen their relationship and they're 707 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,400 Speaker 1: just like done. I don't I don't think there's so 708 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,560 Speaker 1: many as many emotional ties. I could be wrong, but yeah, 709 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 1: if you're dude listening right into us at the edge 710 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,320 Speaker 1: at velvits sage dot com, because I would be curious 711 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,280 Speaker 1: about that too, Like if guys have gone through friendship 712 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:48,160 Speaker 1: breakups and it's affected them in the same capacity. Yeah, yeah, 713 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:52,440 Speaker 1: I'm curious. Um. And I was just gonna say, like 714 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 1: the I mean because the ones that the examples in 715 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:59,320 Speaker 1: my life that I'm trying to think of like involve 716 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 1: women on the other side. But like that's also I mean, 717 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,279 Speaker 1: I tend to be closer friends with women anyway, Like, 718 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:10,640 Speaker 1: but I can't think of any like male friend break 719 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,799 Speaker 1: up situations in my life. Like I feel like, do 720 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 1: you just move I've just moved on. Well, that's what 721 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,600 Speaker 1: I was gonna say. I don't feel like dudes even 722 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:22,480 Speaker 1: really fight in these or disagree or do you know 723 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:27,040 Speaker 1: those kind of conversations like women do, right, so it's 724 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,399 Speaker 1: more like let's go grab a beer and get over this, 725 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,640 Speaker 1: or let's just not talk anymore and it's just done. 726 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: But right right. That brings up a good point too, 727 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:39,880 Speaker 1: because you know, I have another really close friend that 728 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,719 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about right now, and she and I don't 729 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:45,560 Speaker 1: always agree, but what we do right is here each 730 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,960 Speaker 1: other when we don't agree and then just move on 731 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:51,520 Speaker 1: and respect the other person's side. Like it doesn't have 732 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,880 Speaker 1: to affect me that she doesn't think exactly like I 733 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,200 Speaker 1: do on certain topics or the times where we've offended 734 00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,960 Speaker 1: each other, like you know she said to me before, 735 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,000 Speaker 1: like when you said this, it like really pissed me 736 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,440 Speaker 1: off or it really bothered me. And I'm able with 737 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,799 Speaker 1: her because I don't feel like she's just attacking me 738 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,839 Speaker 1: for no reason to to listen and go, oh wow, 739 00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,040 Speaker 1: like you know, let me look at that or that 740 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,600 Speaker 1: wasn't my intention and just have a conversation and then 741 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 1: we can move on, right right. So I don't know, 742 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,120 Speaker 1: it's interesting that like there's just certain people that maybe 743 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 1: you just can't communicate with in the same way. Well, some, 744 00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,399 Speaker 1: I mean some people just aren't communicative, people like they 745 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:35,359 Speaker 1: don't know how to even like I I am personally, 746 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:40,160 Speaker 1: I don't love confrontation. So even something as simple as 747 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,880 Speaker 1: like hey, that hurt my feelings, even when I'm not 748 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:48,040 Speaker 1: mad about it, like if that is a scary thing 749 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,520 Speaker 1: to have to say to somebody, because it's it opens 750 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,000 Speaker 1: up the door to a bigger conversation where it's like, Okay, 751 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,520 Speaker 1: where is this going to lead? Um? Whereas you know, 752 00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,440 Speaker 1: I could also just make the choice to be like, 753 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,960 Speaker 1: get your panties out of a bunch and just move 754 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,640 Speaker 1: on like they didn't mean to hurt your feelings. And 755 00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:08,279 Speaker 1: that's often the road that I will take, because it's 756 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:13,320 Speaker 1: the confrontation is, um, it's too much of a mountain 757 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,360 Speaker 1: for me to climb. Sometimes, Yeah, that's interesting. I don't 758 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,120 Speaker 1: care about confrontation at all. I would always like it 759 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:22,399 Speaker 1: doesn't threaten me, it doesn't like upset me. I'm like, 760 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,960 Speaker 1: let's just talk about this and then let's move on, 761 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,080 Speaker 1: like right. But I want everyone to be able to 762 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,320 Speaker 1: be honest, you know, because then that's when I actually 763 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,239 Speaker 1: feel the closest to people is when we're especially like 764 00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,359 Speaker 1: if you can bring something to the table and then 765 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,560 Speaker 1: talk through it and hear each other even if you 766 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,440 Speaker 1: don't fully agree to me, that's when you get truly 767 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,839 Speaker 1: closer and more vulnerable with people like that is as 768 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,360 Speaker 1: it also really truly allows you to move on because 769 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:54,200 Speaker 1: you're not like you it's like because that ship you 770 00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,400 Speaker 1: never truly forget, you know, You're like this is that 771 00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,440 Speaker 1: person that send this to me that time, and it's like, well, 772 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,759 Speaker 1: that's because you didn't bury it a hatchet, like you know, 773 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,560 Speaker 1: like you just have to like get past these things 774 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:10,680 Speaker 1: or you've never gotten past them. Yeah, exactly. I do 775 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,000 Speaker 1: think when you said earlier about the thing about some 776 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,600 Speaker 1: people just don't know how to communicate, like that is 777 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:19,880 Speaker 1: a big problem in relationships in general, and like I 778 00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,239 Speaker 1: know I don't do it, you know, the best at 779 00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,759 Speaker 1: all times, but if we're not willing to learn how 780 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,520 Speaker 1: to be better or how to do it, and we 781 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:30,320 Speaker 1: just shut down as humans or write things off or 782 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:33,279 Speaker 1: like you're saying, like not even confront the issue, like 783 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:37,640 Speaker 1: we're not helping anyone really, especially ourselves, because I don't 784 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,879 Speaker 1: think you can fully have the full spectrum of how 785 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,239 Speaker 1: great a relationship could be if you're not living in 786 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:46,600 Speaker 1: your truth, right right. I you know, I've learned this 787 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,440 Speaker 1: about myself recently, like not that recently, but like in 788 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:55,120 Speaker 1: my older age, like something it's the fear of confrontation, 789 00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:57,239 Speaker 1: like I would I do this thing where it's like 790 00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,960 Speaker 1: if I know that like say a breakup or our 791 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,040 Speaker 1: hument or something that I need to have is coming, 792 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,600 Speaker 1: Like I'll lay in bed at night and try and 793 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:07,160 Speaker 1: like map out the conversation like I'm gonna say this, 794 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,000 Speaker 1: and they're gonna say this, or they'll say this, and 795 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,520 Speaker 1: then it's like I become so overwhelmed by that I 796 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 1: don't even want to have the conversation. And the truth 797 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,719 Speaker 1: is like a lot of time in those moments where 798 00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,880 Speaker 1: it's like maybe the from the like confrontations out of 799 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,719 Speaker 1: my control and someone confronts me about something, I'll get 800 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 1: really nervous and not be able to find the words 801 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,759 Speaker 1: or like I'm not prepared. And so I've learned that 802 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:32,080 Speaker 1: like sometimes just listening and saying I hear you, I 803 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,319 Speaker 1: understand is the best form of communication that I know 804 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,120 Speaker 1: how to do, because then it allows you to walk 805 00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:42,200 Speaker 1: away from the situation and really process what they've said 806 00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:45,120 Speaker 1: to me. And then come back and either apologize or 807 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:49,120 Speaker 1: explain or because otherwise, like when I get when I 808 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,600 Speaker 1: feel myself getting nervous, like I'll say things that like 809 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:56,239 Speaker 1: I'm not even thinking, like you're just you don't mean it, 810 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,799 Speaker 1: or you're just trying to like respond in somebody to 811 00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:02,560 Speaker 1: make them feel better, and it often will make the 812 00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:07,960 Speaker 1: situation worse. Right, And um, I have found that like 813 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:11,640 Speaker 1: sometimes like walking away from the situation with the information 814 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,680 Speaker 1: for you to process and then going back and saying like, look, 815 00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:17,319 Speaker 1: I've thought about this, and I'm really sorry if like 816 00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,080 Speaker 1: the way that I spoke to you or the way 817 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:21,319 Speaker 1: that I did something like affected you in that way. 818 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:24,680 Speaker 1: It's like that's never my mo is to hurt anybody's 819 00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,440 Speaker 1: feelings totally, but in the moment of an argument, being 820 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,719 Speaker 1: like I would never hurt your feelings, like that's a 821 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:35,160 Speaker 1: lie because I did. You. Also, you're human, just like everyone, 822 00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,239 Speaker 1: and like we're all going to funk up at some 823 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:40,239 Speaker 1: point and not do like and we're going to hurt 824 00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,640 Speaker 1: each other in relationship. That's part of it. Like my 825 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:44,880 Speaker 1: mom always used to say, where there's people, there's problems 826 00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,120 Speaker 1: and there's just going to be But so it's about. 827 00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:48,880 Speaker 1: That's what I was trying to say about the friend 828 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,920 Speaker 1: that I do have, that we can work through stuff 829 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,359 Speaker 1: when it comes up, so much so that now, like 830 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,920 Speaker 1: I probably trust her more than anyone because I know 831 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,719 Speaker 1: she's going to tell me when I upset her or 832 00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:01,319 Speaker 1: she's upset or piste off off um. And I also 833 00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,080 Speaker 1: know she's not gonna leave me, Like well, like work 834 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:07,319 Speaker 1: through something, you know, because you're worth fighting for, Like 835 00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,239 Speaker 1: she has proven to you that, like your friendship is 836 00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:16,480 Speaker 1: worth fighting for, right you know, that's that is important 837 00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:19,880 Speaker 1: in any real relationship in your life, that like a 838 00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,440 Speaker 1: they're always going to be fucking sunshine and rainbows, Like 839 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,839 Speaker 1: you might have to fight for what you want and 840 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:27,880 Speaker 1: that might not be pretty all the time, but like 841 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:32,480 Speaker 1: at least there's like conviction in the relationship you know, well, 842 00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,960 Speaker 1: and if you're long term friends with anybody, like everyone 843 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,120 Speaker 1: goes through seasons, right, like goes through bad seasons, Like 844 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,480 Speaker 1: she went through a divorce that was a really bad season. 845 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,480 Speaker 1: I just went through a really fucking bad season where 846 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,080 Speaker 1: I've been a wreck and I have not been the 847 00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,840 Speaker 1: best version of myself by any means. And so I 848 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,520 Speaker 1: think it's also about giving each other the space to 849 00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:57,040 Speaker 1: like ride through something with another person and hold space 850 00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,760 Speaker 1: for them and be there to support them. And also 851 00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:03,480 Speaker 1: no it like on the other side, either they're gonna 852 00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,480 Speaker 1: get back to, you know, the way they were and 853 00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 1: things are gonna be great, or they're going to even 854 00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,680 Speaker 1: evolve into a better version. And it's just about like 855 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,880 Speaker 1: letting each other have the space to do that while 856 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:16,440 Speaker 1: also supporting each other and not trying to change somebody 857 00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:18,720 Speaker 1: or not let them go through their process or whatever. 858 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,000 Speaker 1: I was actually on this Goop thing, they're talking about 859 00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,359 Speaker 1: what's the most important thing when it comes to strengthening 860 00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:28,360 Speaker 1: our psychological immune system and by extension, our friendship. And 861 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,880 Speaker 1: they say, be true to your values. Double down on 862 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:33,520 Speaker 1: all the things in your life that promotes self love 863 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,680 Speaker 1: and healing. If it suits you, learn to meditate, walk 864 00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:38,480 Speaker 1: by the ocean with your feet in the sand, eat 865 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:40,840 Speaker 1: whole foods. Limited time you spend on your computer phone, 866 00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:45,759 Speaker 1: allow curiosity to lead you down uncharted pathways. Engage in 867 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,879 Speaker 1: conversation with a stranger, hold hands with your children, give 868 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,440 Speaker 1: yourself permission to make mistakes. Forgive others every day, forgive 869 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:56,799 Speaker 1: yourself every hour. Don't hold resentment tightly, look for the 870 00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,440 Speaker 1: beauty in the world, laugh at yourself, laugh with others, 871 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,960 Speaker 1: and be asn't. When we can do these things, there 872 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,319 Speaker 1: are fewer reasons to break up with a close friend 873 00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 1: and a better chance at loving them even more. It 874 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:12,279 Speaker 1: always goes back to your relationship with yourself. Oh lord, well, 875 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:13,839 Speaker 1: that gives us something I work on. If you guys 876 00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,160 Speaker 1: have more interest in learning about things you can do, 877 00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,840 Speaker 1: like if you're going through a friendship breakup, there is 878 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:22,800 Speaker 1: a million articles out there. There are a million articles 879 00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:26,160 Speaker 1: out there, so just google. What I googled was how 880 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:29,080 Speaker 1: to survive a friendship breakup? And there's all kinds of 881 00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 1: things about, specifically adult friendship breakups, which I think people 882 00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:35,000 Speaker 1: feel silly for, but they do happen, so we should 883 00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:37,480 Speaker 1: all investigate those. UM. I do have a couple of 884 00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,120 Speaker 1: listener emails. I know we're running short on times. I'll 885 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:44,120 Speaker 1: just do a couple. But Sarah wrote in and she said, hey, 886 00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,440 Speaker 1: you guys really opened my eyes to something. I've been 887 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,160 Speaker 1: having the same problem getting a car. Talking about rental 888 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,600 Speaker 1: car as we talked about this last week on the Edge, 889 00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,160 Speaker 1: and how the rental car situation is a real problem, 890 00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:58,120 Speaker 1: um and really difficult to navigate nowadays because a lot 891 00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,400 Speaker 1: of the companies sold their cars during of it, so 892 00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:03,040 Speaker 1: there's less cars. But Sarah says having the same problem 893 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,480 Speaker 1: getting a car in my flight to Oklahoma from California 894 00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:07,840 Speaker 1: would be less than a car. But I learned of 895 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,560 Speaker 1: a new service from the Sore Losers podcast. That's another 896 00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,600 Speaker 1: podcast on the Nashville podcast Network, but it's called turo 897 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,520 Speaker 1: t u r Oh, have you heard of this tip? Yeah, 898 00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:20,319 Speaker 1: it's like where you can rent somebody else's car. Yes, 899 00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:23,440 Speaker 1: my brother actually told me about this and I totally forgot. 900 00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:27,319 Speaker 1: But it's basically like Airbnb, but for cars, So if 901 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,760 Speaker 1: anyone's really struggling. I thought that was a really good 902 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:33,320 Speaker 1: tip um from Sarah and just a reminder of that company. 903 00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,799 Speaker 1: I think that's a great idea personally. I mean, I'm 904 00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:39,200 Speaker 1: gonna look for my trip now there you go. Um. Okay, 905 00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:42,399 Speaker 1: we do have a Friday floozy that's adding into car 906 00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,560 Speaker 1: less story from last week. Carler was caught in the barracks. 907 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:50,600 Speaker 1: Is that the right way to say that? Barracks? Yeah? Yeah, 908 00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,239 Speaker 1: she was. So if you haven't heard that story, go 909 00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,319 Speaker 1: back and look. How am I going to talk about 910 00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:56,920 Speaker 1: the patriarchy and talk about Friday floozies. This is what 911 00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:01,400 Speaker 1: I'm saying. Here's the like I but if they're owning 912 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:05,879 Speaker 1: their fluoziness, then it's not like when you like looked 913 00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:08,600 Speaker 1: at a picture of somebody and said, she, I'm like, 914 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:13,160 Speaker 1: what a fucking fluzy? Okay, this is from Alice and 915 00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:14,920 Speaker 1: she said, oh my god, I just listened to your 916 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,320 Speaker 1: July second episode and I was dying. I completely relate 917 00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,799 Speaker 1: to carlo'stra A story as something similar also happened to me. 918 00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:24,080 Speaker 1: When my husband and I first started dating. I was 919 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:27,279 Speaker 1: in the barracks during a surprise inspection the differences. They 920 00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,680 Speaker 1: let everyone go back to their rooms prior to the 921 00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:33,120 Speaker 1: inspection to unlock and open the doors. He could put 922 00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:35,640 Speaker 1: a key lock on his closet, though, so I quickly 923 00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:37,840 Speaker 1: grabbed my things and he locked me in the closet. 924 00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,960 Speaker 1: I sat in there during his room inspection and tried 925 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:44,719 Speaker 1: not to laugh out loud while I listened to him 926 00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:48,080 Speaker 1: explain why there was a padlock on his closet. This 927 00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,400 Speaker 1: was almost ten years ago, and we still laugh about 928 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,880 Speaker 1: it to this day. I actually love that story. That's 929 00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,200 Speaker 1: a funny one. They're cure. Kids are like, how did 930 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:56,839 Speaker 1: you meet it's like that kind of thing, you know. 931 00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,400 Speaker 1: They're like, what's the funniest thing that ever happened to 932 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:04,240 Speaker 1: your mom? And oh my god, you're like, well, Sunny, 933 00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:06,520 Speaker 1: there was this one time, but I got locked in 934 00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,239 Speaker 1: a closet. Mommy had to come out of the closet. 935 00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:14,680 Speaker 1: But not for why you're thinking, Oh my god, you guys, 936 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,600 Speaker 1: keep the emails coming to the Edge at velvet edge 937 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,680 Speaker 1: dot com. It's no longer at casual at velvet edge 938 00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:22,480 Speaker 1: dot com. All that we do still own that email address, 939 00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:25,439 Speaker 1: so I'll keep checking. But the Edge at velvet edge 940 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,000 Speaker 1: dot com or you can d M me on Instagram. 941 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:36,000 Speaker 1: It's at Velvet Edge. Chip is at chip Doors. Go ahead. Chip. 942 00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:44,480 Speaker 1: That wasn't especially happy kills you. Oh I gotta love it. 943 00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:50,239 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go into my weekend, so happy now. And 944 00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,560 Speaker 1: as you guys go into your weekend and you're living 945 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:58,040 Speaker 1: on the edge, I hope you always remember to holy ship, 946 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god, let's get off the phone before in 947 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:04,279 Speaker 1: the morning. I don't think that's the recording the morning 948 00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,680 Speaker 1: where your brain spread. Maybe that's the best you to do. Okay, well, 949 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,880 Speaker 1: now we gotta go, because Casual I did it right 950 00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:13,520 Speaker 1: and looking about casual, about it, okay right,