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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so we have got I know we've talked about

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Speaker 2: safety on here before. We had a lovely guest on here,

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Speaker 2: but we just want to keep talking about safety because

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Speaker 2: in this world, we need to protect ourselves as women.

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Speaker 2: I think there's also a piece of us that I

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Speaker 2: know I have fallen victim to this.

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Speaker 3: I overshare.

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Speaker 4: Certain details are a class one overshare.

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Speaker 2: Like, for example, we've had to cut things on the

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Speaker 2: podcast because I'm like, well, we don't have an alarm system,

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Speaker 2: by the way, we witch do now, but like they

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Speaker 2: were saying, you know what, please don't share that, So

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Speaker 2: I again, I want to make it very clear we

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Speaker 2: have an alarm system now. But I remember just being like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's fine, just our kateboard or but yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: So obviously I've learned on that and we cut certain

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Speaker 2: things like that. But sometimes, you know, you're on a date,

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Speaker 2: you overshare, or you say things, or you go talk

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Speaker 2: to someone when you're on action, because I mean, have

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Speaker 2: you seen the movies where you're where you're like the

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Speaker 2: movie where you're talking to the really nice couple next

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Speaker 2: to you, but really they're killers it's a crazy world.

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Speaker 2: So we have Dana coming on. She she's a trusted

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Speaker 2: safety expert and digital creator known for her sharp instincts,

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Speaker 2: real world expertise, and she's a former D one athlete.

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Speaker 2: I mean's she's promoting street smarts, trust your instincts, out

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Speaker 2: smart danger, and stay safe in a world that isn't.

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Speaker 2: It's available for pre order now and it's releasing on

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Speaker 2: February third.

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Speaker 5: Thank you guys so much for having me.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming on. Can we just

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Speaker 2: because you know, we're trying to obviously do research on

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Speaker 2: you and get to know you a bit. But the

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Speaker 2: piece that I was wanting to know more of is

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Speaker 2: how you got into the safety aspects of doing this

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Speaker 2: and sharing and is there something that you personally went

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Speaker 2: through or is it just something where like this is

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Speaker 2: a gap in the market that people aren't talking about.

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Speaker 1: You know, this is who I am to my core

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Speaker 1: and I my parents, you know, nurtured my streets. Where

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Speaker 1: I was at a young age, I had some life experiences.

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Speaker 1: I actually tell a story in my book. I was

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Speaker 1: followed by two minute a van when I was a

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Speaker 1: young girl, so it.

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Speaker 5: Really shaped me.

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Speaker 1: And then growing up I was always just very intrigued

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Speaker 1: by crime shows and stuff like that. So then when

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Speaker 1: I went to school, I didn't know what I was

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Speaker 1: going to study, and immediately saw criminology and psychology and

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Speaker 1: I was like done. So first semester, I declared, knew

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Speaker 1: what I wanted to study, so that's my background, and

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Speaker 1: I wanted to go to Quantico, like I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be a federal agent, That's what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 5: I was like, this is so bad ass, this is

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Speaker 5: going to be me.

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Speaker 1: And then I came across a professor my sophomore year

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Speaker 1: in college who was former Secret Service. He introduced us

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Speaker 1: to everyone you could possibly imagine, CIA FBI, I mean, atf.

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Speaker 5: You name it.

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Speaker 1: And I loved what I studied. It didn't even seem

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Speaker 1: like school to me. I hated school growing up. When

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Speaker 1: I was in college, I was like excited for these

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Speaker 1: classes because they were so engaging, they were so intriguing,

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Speaker 1: and I was a bit of a closet nerd. People

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Speaker 1: don't really know this because I was a student athlete,

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Speaker 1: so you kind of like play the cool card. But

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Speaker 1: I was like eating everything up behind the scenes studying.

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Speaker 1: When I was studying, and I graduated with over a

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Speaker 1: four point zero GPA. Two weeks before I was set

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Speaker 1: to graduate. My professor who really became a mentor, who

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Speaker 1: became family. He was even at my wedding. He's like,

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Speaker 1: let's go to lunch. Let's talk this through. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'll make any phone call you want me to make.

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Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, I have.

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Speaker 5: To point something out to you.

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Speaker 1: And we sat down and he was like, Dana, you

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Speaker 1: are very deeply feeling. You're a very empathetic person, and

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Speaker 1: I worry about your mental health in this field long term.

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Speaker 5: He didn't deter.

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Speaker 1: Me by any means, but he saw me for me

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Speaker 1: before I even really truly knew myself. And I have

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Speaker 1: to thank him for that, because I don't know what

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Speaker 1: would have happened. I even now doing what I do.

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Speaker 1: I love it so much, but it's it's dark at times.

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Speaker 1: There are some stories I come across, you know, I

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Speaker 1: talk to a lot of survivors, a lot of victims' families,

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Speaker 1: and it stays with me. So I don't think I

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Speaker 1: would have been able to compartmentalize that in the field

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Speaker 1: as a FED where I have the case files personally,

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Speaker 1: and so I took a bit of a hiatus and

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Speaker 1: was like, all right, well, okay, what am I going

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Speaker 1: to do now? And then I fell into fitness, which was,

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Speaker 1: you know, the necessary evil of soccer and it was

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Speaker 1: easy for me.

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Speaker 5: So I did some coaching.

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Speaker 1: But all of those years I always had a hole

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Speaker 1: in my heart because I was like, man, I'm so

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Speaker 1: passionate about this. Am I really not going to do

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Speaker 1: anything with this hard earned degree? And then some catalysts

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Speaker 1: happened that ended up catapulting me into doing what I

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Speaker 1: was doing or doing what I'm doing now. I lost

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Speaker 1: Chuck was the professor's name, unexpectedly at the Talent of COVID,

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Speaker 1: and once I lost him, that whole in my heart

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Speaker 1: became like more painful because he and I texted, we

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Speaker 1: popped on the phone all the time when we were

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Speaker 1: talking about what was going on in the world, and

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Speaker 1: he really be He kept me in that world, and

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Speaker 1: once I lost him, I realized how much I missed

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Speaker 1: it and realized that I need to do something with this,

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Speaker 1: and more than anything, I wanted to do something for him.

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Speaker 1: And I mean I was doing some social media at

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Speaker 1: the time, doing I had a fitness company online, but.

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Speaker 5: It never felt real or me.

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Speaker 1: I loved working out, but it was the second that

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Speaker 1: became my job.

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Speaker 5: It took that outlet away. You know.

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Speaker 1: I always view fitness as like a form of therapy

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Speaker 1: for myself, and once I no longer had that and

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Speaker 1: it was my job, I was like, this isn't my calling.

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Speaker 5: And then my son was born, and.

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Speaker 1: Again I was like, I heard Chucks and Chuck's voice

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Speaker 1: in the back of my head and I just didn't

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Speaker 1: want to share him online.

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Speaker 5: There's I knew what was out there.

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Speaker 1: I had seen it firsthand, and I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know what I'm gonna do. This is you know,

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Speaker 1: definitely to crossroads. There was a mass shooting in my hometown.

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Speaker 1: Shortly after that. Then there was the Idaho for and

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Speaker 1: I just remember crying my eyes out. As a parent,

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Speaker 1: you see the world differently it you know, you're holding

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Speaker 1: this innocent, beautiful baby and I'm just like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: the world is evil, Like there are really bad people

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Speaker 1: out there. Not that I didn't know that before, but

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Speaker 1: I saw it differently and felt it differently.

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Speaker 5: And I just remember nursing my son one night.

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Speaker 1: It was like three am, and I'm like bawling to

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Speaker 1: my husband and I'm like, I have all this knowledge,

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Speaker 1: I am doing nothing with my.

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Speaker 5: Life right now.

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Speaker 1: If I could just pass this forward and save one

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Speaker 1: person for Chuck, get his information out there, it would

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Speaker 1: be worth it to me. So I took to social

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Speaker 1: media and I started sharing organically just what I had lived,

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Speaker 1: what I had studied, what I had known, and it's

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Speaker 1: snowballed and I would have never in a million years

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Speaker 1: thought I would be sitting here today, and it just

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Speaker 1: truly is what I am so passionate about and what

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Speaker 1: I love to do and being able to reach people

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Speaker 1: also that I would have never been able to reach

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Speaker 1: if I went into, you know.

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Speaker 5: The world of being a fed. So that's that's my

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Speaker 5: long story.

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Speaker 6: But I really really love what I don't.

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Speaker 4: So we're both moms and there's a lot of I

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Speaker 4: would say the demographic that listens this podcast is pretty wide,

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Speaker 4: ranging from young twenties dating to all the way in

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Speaker 4: sixties that I know of, and so there's a lot

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Speaker 4: of area to cover. But one thing I think to

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Speaker 4: start with would be the digital side, because you mentioned

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Speaker 4: that a little bit, and so you don't share you

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Speaker 4: have just one son, is that right? I have a

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Speaker 4: three year old oh, oh, buddy, we're really in it together.

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Speaker 4: She's coming up, she's in we're both in the twos

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Speaker 4: with our youngest right now. O. So digitally, I want

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Speaker 4: you to give our best. You have this motto that

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Speaker 4: says live aware, not in fear, and I like actually

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Speaker 4: had to read that four or five times because this

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Speaker 4: world just has such a way of being so noisy,

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Speaker 4: so overwhelming, so there is nothing good, you know, and

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Speaker 4: it's so doomsday because we're taking in information crazy. So

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Speaker 4: when you and that's a really powerful thing for you

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Speaker 4: to read too, because sometimes I think you stay back

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Speaker 4: because you're too afraid of what's out there. Often, like

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Speaker 4: you don't go to target or places. And it's like Kristen,

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Speaker 4: like go to start. You know, you're smarter than that

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Speaker 4: to go, you know. And that's about this raise so

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Speaker 4: that I have two questions for sure before we leave you.

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Speaker 4: But like when you talk about street smarts growing up,

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Speaker 4: that matters to me a lot because I have a

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Speaker 4: lot of street smarts. I grew up in a not

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Speaker 4: good neighborhood and really really rough.

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Speaker 1: And so.

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Speaker 4: That's one thing I'm nervous about because I'm kind of

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Speaker 4: raising my kids in a bit of a bubble. And

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Speaker 4: the other thing is the digital sharing. So answer in

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Speaker 4: any order and we can. I just want to be

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Speaker 4: with you. I just want everything.

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Speaker 2: And I say, we do share our kids online. There's

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Speaker 2: pieces of me that have regret, but also it is

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Speaker 2: a part of our world, our world as well and

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Speaker 2: with how we make our money. And not to say like,

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Speaker 2: but you know, certain partnerships involve kids and it's but

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Speaker 2: I want to share them. I do enjoy sharing them,

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Speaker 2: and they don't, you know.

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Speaker 4: And most people, I feel like, do enjoy us sharing them.

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Speaker 4: Like I get a lot of older people or people

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Speaker 4: that aren't moms, yeah, like that are like that a yeah,

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Speaker 4: or I just feel inspired that I can do this

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Speaker 4: or whatever. But okay, Dan, Dana can tell us everything.

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Speaker 1: And that's a beautiful thing. And that's you know what

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Speaker 1: I preach the whole live aware or not and fear.

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Speaker 1: I mean that, and that's the foundation to everything that

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Speaker 1: I do, because you know, especially being a mom, you

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Speaker 1: see what's out there and you can get so paranoid

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Speaker 1: and you can get in your own head to the

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Speaker 1: point where you do want to live in that bubble

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Speaker 1: to protect your kids. But for me, it's all about

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Speaker 1: the knowledge and the awareness where if I know what's

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Speaker 1: out there and I have these conversations with my kids,

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Speaker 1: then I have the peace of mind to know that

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Speaker 1: if one God forbid, I find myself in a scary situation,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be able to handle it. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to give myself the best option, the best I'm going

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Speaker 1: to put myself in the best position to get out

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Speaker 1: of it safely. And having those conversations early and often

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Speaker 1: with kids in a way that's empowering and not scaring

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Speaker 1: them is something that my parents did with me and

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Speaker 1: I didn't even really know.

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Speaker 5: Looking back, it's.

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Speaker 1: They were genius in so many ways and I don't

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Speaker 1: even know if they knew what they were doing. But gosh,

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Speaker 1: even when I was a little girl, we played I

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Speaker 1: Spy in the car. Granted we didn't have like phones

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Speaker 1: and tablets and I've had so it was a much

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Speaker 1: different time.

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Speaker 5: But when we.

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Speaker 1: Played games like that, and it was it started making

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Speaker 1: me aware of like what was around me. I spy

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Speaker 1: a red car. We're in the car, and it's stupid.

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Speaker 1: Is that scary me? But now I'm looking for that

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Speaker 1: red car. I'm looking to see who and what's around me.

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Speaker 1: When we were waiting, you know, at whatever was a restaurant.

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Speaker 1: That was the game we would play. And then my

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Speaker 1: parents said something that was really cool, and we played

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Speaker 1: the what if game. The what if game then led

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Speaker 1: to the lying game, and we had a family code word.

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Speaker 5: There were so many things.

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Speaker 1: So my parents, we my mom lived, my mom's parents

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Speaker 1: lived about four hours from me growing up, so we

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Speaker 1: would get in the car and we have all that

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Speaker 1: time to kill and so what my parents would do

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Speaker 1: is they would make me the main character of a

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Speaker 1: story and they would paint a picture and it would

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Speaker 1: be as simple as like somebody knocks on the front

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Speaker 1: door and you know, Mom's in the shower, like what

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Speaker 1: do you do? And then they let me think through

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Speaker 1: it for myself, with the ability to ask questions and

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Speaker 1: problem solved, which empowered me and I was like, this

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Speaker 1: is so cool, this is so fun. So then that

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Speaker 1: started building, and then they took it a step further.

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Speaker 1: We called it the lying game. Let's say you're at

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Speaker 1: a park and you know, a man comes up to

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Speaker 1: you and says like, hey, honey, like, you know, did

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Speaker 1: you see another puppy like this? I just had one here,

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Speaker 1: and can you help me come look for it, you know,

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Speaker 1: the whole ploy that everyone hears about. And then they

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Speaker 1: would let me think through that. What would I say?

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Speaker 1: How would I lie myself out of that? Are you

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Speaker 1: alone here? My parents are right over there and you

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Speaker 1: point to a group of strangers. They started giving me

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Speaker 1: this gift of empowering my instincts and my internal voice

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Speaker 1: and not feeling the pressure from society to people please

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Speaker 1: or to you know, oh somebody my truth or be kind.

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Speaker 1: I mean, obviously you want to ds date a situation

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, and I can get

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Speaker 1: into that more, but it was just this very empowering

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Speaker 1: upbringing and then doing what I'm doing and what I studied,

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Speaker 1: it just makes so much sense where the the world

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Speaker 1: is not an evil place. There is evil in the world.

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Speaker 1: So living your life aware, not in fear, and knowing

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Speaker 1: what's out there gives you the ability to move through

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Speaker 1: your life and live your life with confidence. And that

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Speaker 1: is literally why I wrote this book, because I want

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Speaker 1: women to read this and it's very digestible where you

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Speaker 1: walk away at the end of the day and you're like, holy, I.

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Speaker 5: Didn't think about that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that, and now I do, and once

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Speaker 1: you read something, and once you have that information in

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Speaker 1: the back of your head, that doesn't go away. And

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Speaker 1: that's also generational. That's gonna spark conversations with your kids.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna see something out and about and go, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I wouldn't have.

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Speaker 5: Noticed that before.

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Speaker 1: And it's this beautiful place to live where you walk

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Speaker 1: the line of being aware but not scared.

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Speaker 5: And that's a misconception with what I do.

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Speaker 1: So many people will be like, oh, you like you

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Speaker 1: must not live like you must be terrified of your

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Speaker 1: own shadow, and I'm like, it's actually the complete opposite,

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Speaker 1: because I know this.

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Speaker 5: I live my life and I know that I could.

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Speaker 5: I am aware.

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Speaker 1: I am aware who what's around me, who and what's

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Speaker 1: around me, And if I send something, I'm gonna like

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Speaker 1: listen to that gut feeling, myuition, and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: act on it without being worried what anyone's going to

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Speaker 1: think or say about me.

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Speaker 5: And it's just it's a beautiful it's a beautiful way

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Speaker 5: to live. It's empowering.

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Speaker 4: I really love that because my dad was such a warrior,

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Speaker 4: and in so many ways I am thankful right because

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Speaker 4: I never was naive ever but it was almost opposite.

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Speaker 4: So it was not the healthy middle that you're talking

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Speaker 4: about it all. It was very much like this person

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Speaker 4: would do this this, you know, like it just was terrifying.

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Speaker 4: And I see that now in my adult life. And

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Speaker 4: then you add a postpartum hormone or a perimenopausal hormone.

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Speaker 4: I mean, postpartum anxiety was more my issue ever than

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Speaker 4: postpartum depression. So all of those little building blocks well

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Speaker 4: helpful sometimes and I've kept I'm very street smart, I

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Speaker 4: feel for the most part, also leave me not going

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Speaker 4: to target because it's to him, it was almost definite.

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Speaker 4: Instead of it being the world is mostly good and

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Speaker 4: there's evil in it, it was the world is evil

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Speaker 4: and you know, like we're all just in this to

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Speaker 4: get out in live kind of So do you when

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Speaker 4: you go to social media share? Is that your mentality

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Speaker 4: as well? On social media or digitally?

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Speaker 5: It is? It is? I mean, I really want to

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Speaker 5: empower women.

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Speaker 1: For me personally, I don't share my son just because

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Speaker 1: that's not on brand for me and it never felt

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Speaker 1: right for me.

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Speaker 5: I think there's a happy medium.

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Speaker 1: I understand that they're I mean, and I follow a

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Speaker 1: lot of mommy influencers and I love every second of it.

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Speaker 5: And it's just about being aware of what you post.

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Speaker 1: Then, So if you are going to share your kids online,

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Speaker 1: share them in a smart way. Make sure that they're

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Speaker 1: not wearing their school uniform. Make sure that you're not

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Speaker 1: giving away your home address in the back or their

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Speaker 1: school or the park that you visit frequently, because you

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Speaker 1: know odds are against it, but you never know who's

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Speaker 1: going to see that information, especially if you have a

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Speaker 1: public account. So taking those extra steps to just protect

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Speaker 1: your kids and where they live and where they you know,

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Speaker 1: visit frequently, that's a layer of protection where then you

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Speaker 1: know people aren't going to be able to figure out

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Speaker 1: where your kids are.

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Speaker 5: I see moms all the time.

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Speaker 1: It's the back to school photos, it's the signs where

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Speaker 1: it's this is the school that I go to, this

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Speaker 1: is the teacher, this is my favorite color, and what

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Speaker 1: sport I like. So that again, while rare, gives somebody

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Speaker 1: with malicious intentions the opportunity to find your kid and

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Speaker 1: know what to talk.

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Speaker 5: To them about to gain their trust.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's just being mindful of what you share

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Speaker 1: and how you share, and if you're strategic, you could

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Speaker 1: share your kids in a safe way.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, what is.

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Speaker 2: The biggest mistake that you think we make when it

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Speaker 2: comes to our safety?

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Speaker 1: The biggest mistake, I would honestly say it's as simple

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Speaker 1: as lack of awareness and lack of just being aware

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Speaker 1: of who and what's around you at all times. And

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Speaker 1: that sounds like a daunting task. It sounds like you

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Speaker 1: should be hyper vigilant and like scanning your surroundings all

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Speaker 1: the time. But once you start practicing what everyone calls

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Speaker 1: situational awareness, it just becomes second nature. And Chuck, my

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Speaker 1: professor taught me something in college that I just have

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Speaker 1: lived ever since. He called it the ten second rule,

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Speaker 1: and it was like when you walk into a restaurant,

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Speaker 1: when you walk into a coffee shop, whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: you just take ten seconds skin whoon, what's around you?

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Speaker 5: Where are the exits? Now?

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Speaker 1: You sit down, and you could be present in the

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Speaker 1: moment because if somebody walks.

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Speaker 5: In, I know where I'm going and I knew who

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Speaker 5: was around me to begin with.

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Speaker 1: So it just is that little tiny tweak, the little

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Speaker 1: tiny tip that takes less than ten seconds and then

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Speaker 1: empowers you to live your life. HM.

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Speaker 4: When it comes to traveling with children. So we're just

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Speaker 4: we're coming back from two back to back trips and

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Speaker 4: one was New York, which this is interesting and I

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Speaker 4: don't know if you could diagnose and you.

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Speaker 3: Take your kids to New York, but it can't. You

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Speaker 3: can't take them to target.

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Speaker 5: Well that's what's wild.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So this is what's crazy to me.

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Speaker 3: Judgment that that just makes me funny.

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Speaker 4: No, that's but I'm like, there has to be something

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Speaker 4: so in your wiseness, there has to be something about this,

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Speaker 4: because what would normally intimidate most people that grow up

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Speaker 4: in the county that we live in is very bubble.

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Speaker 4: It's very much a bubble. It's almost like it's the

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Speaker 4: sneaky long play kind of crime. To me, that is

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Speaker 4: more overwhelming to me, like the trafficking and all of

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Speaker 4: those things than it is. Like New York did not

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Speaker 4: overwhelm me. And I feel which this is hysterical almost,

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Speaker 4: but I feel like New York has always been mostly

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Speaker 4: good because I feel like people are looking out for

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Speaker 4: each other because everyone is kind of aware and everyone's

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Speaker 4: a little tough, and we're not afraid to hurt people's

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Speaker 4: feelings in New York. So maybe that's why it feels

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Speaker 4: safer for me to travel. And again we're not popping

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Speaker 4: on subways, we're taking you know, we're ubering at a

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Speaker 4: certain level because we had two little kids with us.

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Speaker 4: But I do have a different awareness than my husband,

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Speaker 4: who grew up in a bubble, and so it's interesting

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Speaker 4: to watch because you know, for him, the kids are

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Speaker 4: like he's walking ahead, and I'm like, why would our

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Speaker 4: children ever be behind you ever? You know, and like

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Speaker 4: it was a hand on a parent at all times,

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Speaker 4: just why wouldn't you? And also that encourages their safety

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Speaker 4: and security too. But when you're traveling with kids, what

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Speaker 4: are some like major just give us like one or

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Speaker 4: two major tips that you feel are something that maybe

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Speaker 4: we should know as parents or they should know as kids.

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Speaker 5: Something that my dad did with me always.

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Speaker 1: And this is more like we would go to Mexico

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Speaker 1: growing up, my dad would make sure that I was

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Speaker 1: my mom would go out first. So if we were

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Speaker 1: in an uber or a taxi back then it was taxis,

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Speaker 1: and he made sure that I got out first. He

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Speaker 1: would never leave me to be the last one out

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Speaker 1: because it's a lot of crime is opportunistic. So if

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Speaker 1: you if you minimize the opportunity. Crime I always say

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Speaker 1: is where evil meets opportunity. So although unlikely, you never

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Speaker 1: know who you're going to cross paths with. So if

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Speaker 1: you minimize those windows and you minimize the opportunity, like

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Speaker 1: what you said, as simple as having your kids walk

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Speaker 1: in front of you versus behind you, eyes on your kids,

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Speaker 1: have them close where you could you know, have a

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Speaker 1: hand on them if you need to make sure that

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Speaker 1: they know not to wander off in an airport or

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Speaker 1: a public place because people that are around it's it's

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Speaker 1: almost a false sense of security.

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Speaker 5: When it's busy.

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Speaker 1: It's it's good because there are people that are witnesses,

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Speaker 1: but things can also happen fast where's kid can get

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Speaker 1: lost easily. So having your kids close and in sight,

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Speaker 1: just that simple thing changes everything. And then different things

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Speaker 1: like minimizing the window of opportunity, like I said, the

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Speaker 1: make sure that they get out first, or you have

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Speaker 1: a hand on them, that you don't give anybody the

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Speaker 1: opportunity to drive away with your child still in the vehicle.

440
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,919
Speaker 1: So it's really just back to that awareness and just

441
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,120
Speaker 1: knowing what's out there, who's out there, and knowing what's

442
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 1: around you at all times and making sure that your kids, like, hey,

443
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 1: if we're walking through an airport, headphones off or at

444
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 1: one headphone in, can you hear me? Just make sure

445
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: Depending on the age, obviously, I'm talking if you're like

446
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 1: traveling with a teen or something, don't let your kids

447
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom alone.

448
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 5: It's that opportunity if you go in there. My dad,

449
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 5: I remember this.

450
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 1: It was a weird thing because when I was growing up,

451
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: he never let me go to the bathroom alone. And

452
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 1: I'd be like eight, nine, ten and I'm like, Dad,

453
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 1: come on, like I'm good, and he'd be like, go

454
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,200
Speaker 1: to the bathroom all you want at home by yourself.

455
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,840
Speaker 1: I am going I'm going to open the door and

456
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 1: to make sure nobody's in there, and then I'm going.

457
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 5: To stand right outside.

458
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,679
Speaker 1: And he did that really through high school, and it

459
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 1: was like a really cool thing that I now doing

460
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 1: what I do, see how beneficial that was and how

461
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 1: smart that was because you see the videos. I think

462
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 1: there was a viral video online it was like a

463
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 1: little girl going to a stall and there was a

464
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 1: man in there. It was like one of those park

465
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 1: playgrounds and it was a single bathroom and just taking

466
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 1: that level even if you have three kids with you.

467
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 5: I know this sucks, but just have it be a

468
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,919
Speaker 5: family rule where we all go to the bathroom together.

469
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,159
Speaker 1: And just because you don't have to go, you know,

470
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 1: your brother went with you and you had to gross go,

471
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 1: So now we all have to go together. So it's

472
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,879
Speaker 1: just those little things where you minimize those windows of

473
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 1: opportunity that a predator can take advantage of.

474
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,400
Speaker 3: Do you Uber?

475
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 5: I do? I do? Yeah.

476
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,680
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the stories I have told Uber drivers

477
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 1: I love I It's so funny because I mean, I

478
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: have plenty of videos about Uber and there's like a

479
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,399
Speaker 1: whole checklist that basically you go through and I always say,

480
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,879
Speaker 1: you need to match everything that you're seeing on the

481
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 1: app with what you're seeing in person. So if that

482
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: car comes number one, you need to look at the

483
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,119
Speaker 1: license plate, you need to look at the make, the model,

484
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 1: the color, the driver, zoom in on the driver's photo.

485
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,719
Speaker 1: Don't just blindly get into a car with a stranger.

486
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 1: That's easy thing because people will be like, oh my god,

487
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 1: you Uber, So you'll get in a car with a stranger.

488
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,880
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yes, once I make sure that it's

489
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,880
Speaker 1: the it's my car, and then let's say, even though

490
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 1: there are there have been stories, and I will say

491
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 1: another thing that I say, also, never adjust anything mince

492
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 1: water snacks they'll offer you think, do not take because

493
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: it's not worth it at the end of the day.

494
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,120
Speaker 1: And then you have layers of protection, layers of defense.

495
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 1: So when you get in it's really smart to share

496
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 1: that trip with somebody. I have my location on at

497
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 1: all times with my parents and my husband so that

498
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 1: they could pop in if I'm out about and I

499
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 1: always let somebody know where I'm going to be and

500
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: when I'm going to be done, or you know, have

501
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 1: that check in person. But if you're getting in an uber,

502
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 1: making that driver aware that somebody knows where you are

503
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 1: and is tracking you, and I mean you can have

504
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: a fake conversation. I will sometimes FaceTime my husband if

505
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 1: I haven't felt safe, but then lie to survive. It's

506
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 1: one of the things that I teach an uber driver

507
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 1: doesn't need to know any of your personal information. They're

508
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 1: going to know your name or whatever you know nickname

509
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: I use on the app. But then if they're dropping

510
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 1: you off and they go is this home? Why, like

511
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 1: you need to hear my voice in the back of

512
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 1: your head. Lie lie, lie. Do not tell them what

513
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 1: you do for a living. Do not tell them where

514
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 1: you live, Do not tell them any information about you.

515
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 5: I don't have kids.

516
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 1: When I'm in an uber, No, I'm not a mom.

517
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: Hopefully one day, I don't share anything. And it's almost fun.

518
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 3: God, I am the worst.

519
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 4: I need to stress me.

520
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 5: It's it really is good.

521
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 3: This is really good good.

522
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,359
Speaker 2: I'm going to now have you complete it. You're right, though,

523
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 2: because there's times when you don't. I don't want to

524
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 2: indulge it what I do. Like one time I said

525
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 2: I was a nurse, but then they asked me a

526
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 2: question about things.

527
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,239
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, that's when your

528
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 3: actress comes.

529
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 2: But it's like it's you know, it's it is fun

530
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 2: to pretend to be something different.

531
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 3: Some days I.

532
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 1: Always say, you don't owe a stranger your truth, and

533
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: I always just have fun with it. And over the years,

534
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: I mean, I've like laughed with the stories. My friends

535
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 1: will be in an uber with me and the guy

536
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 1: will be chatty and she'll be looking at me like

537
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 1: are you okay, and I'm like, just like, just go

538
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 1: with it.

539
00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 5: We're having fun.

540
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 2: What is That's one of the biggest takeaways you want

541
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 2: from streets Marts your new book coming up.

542
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 5: I want women to feel empowered in the world that

543
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 5: we live in. I mean it.

544
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: If you get on the news, if you get on

545
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 1: social media, you can go down those rabbit holes and

546
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 1: let's you know, just to be frank, the evil is

547
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 1: out there, the evil walks among us. It exists, and

548
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,919
Speaker 1: being aware of it and not again back to the

549
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 1: whole thing I've been talking about since we started talking,

550
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,640
Speaker 1: but not being scared of it.

551
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 5: Empowers you to move through the world.

552
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 1: Where I got this like I could handle something because

553
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: I know now, and the amount of messages and this

554
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 1: is what makes what I do worthwhile. When I very

555
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,919
Speaker 1: first started, I was like, if I could just prevent

556
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: one family from a tragedy, if I could prevent one

557
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: person from making.

558
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 5: A scary decision.

559
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: It's like the outpour of messages and emails of women

560
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,920
Speaker 1: that will bring me to tears because they'll share their

561
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: story and they'll say, I found myself in this situation

562
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 1: and I heard your voice in the back of my head,

563
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: and I acted.

564
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 5: And I truly believe that if I didn't, this person.

565
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: Would have harmed me or my family and it's that

566
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 1: awareness and that knowledge that really is going to protect

567
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 1: you more than anything else. Obviously walking around with like

568
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,880
Speaker 1: a personal alarm, those things empower you as well.

569
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 5: Pepper Jel. I always have pepper Jel in.

570
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 1: My body, but like, the awareness level is your best

571
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: first line of defense and I will literally die on that.

572
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 5: Hell.

573
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much for coming on. I just

574
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 2: think you're wonderful, and everyone please go get your book,

575
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 2: your book Street Smarts. Trust your instincts, out smart danger

576
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,159
Speaker 2: and stay safe in a world that isn't. Thank you

577
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 2: for thank you knowledge. And I just cannot wait to

578
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: get my next uber and just.

579
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 5: Coming home. My my god, God, it stresses me out. Hey.

580
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,719
Speaker 4: The good news is we can come up with I

581
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 4: want us to have names when we're in Uber.

582
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 3: Usually I'm Victoria. Oh, I was always Vivian.

583
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 5: Yeah. I love having alias there. You go have fun

584
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:50,879
Speaker 5: with it.

585
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 3: You're the best.

586
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 5: Okay, thank you so much for having me.

587
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: All right.

588
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 2: I am Alex by the way on my uber.

589
00:24:58,920 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 5: I love that you.

590
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm Alex R.

591
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 2: That's really awesome because one time I had my name

592
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 2: in there and then they started playing my song because

593
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 2: I thought it was like cheeky or whatever. And then

594
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 2: remember remember when they get Yeah, I wasn't there, so

595
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 2: I'm in an uber, right, Oh, I forget the just

596
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 2: left and I was with Julie and Pam and we

597
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 2: all left. I was when I was single, so I

598
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,719
Speaker 2: was like newly divorced, and Kristin had set me not Kristen,

599
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: Julie had set me up on this like blind date

600
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 2: or whatever.

601
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 3: And then you know, we were all kind of there.

602
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,720
Speaker 2: And then so I hop in this uber and I'm like, hey,

603
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 2: like this uber feels a little weird. And then they

604
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 2: start playing. He starts playing my song and I'm like

605
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 2: this is just really creeping me out. And then I

606
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 2: was like, Julie, the uber is pulling into a gas station.

607
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 2: He's like, sorry, I just need to stop here for

608
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 2: a second. And I'm like no, no, no, this doesn't

609
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 2: feel good.

610
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 6: No.

611
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 2: I changed my and he ended up coming back in.

612
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 2: He said he had to have to go to the bathroom.

613
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 2: But it was just it was just it felt really

614
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 2: I was uncomfortable.

615
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's wild. I think we just are so afraid

616
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 4: to offend too. Yes, that yeah, And there's something about

617
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 4: and I'm not being hard on us in the Midwest,

618
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 4: but there is this like very sweet Midwestern people, please

619
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 4: y kind of we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

620
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,639
Speaker 4: Of course they're nice, you know, I don't know. It's

621
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 4: time that you can talk or yeah, and we want

622
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 4: to share because that's connective and you and I like

623
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 4: doing that anyways. Yes, that's why we do what we

624
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,360
Speaker 4: do here. Yes, but it is like a first line

625
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 4: of defense. Like I've had to kind of teach that

626
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 4: to the kids a bit too, you know. Just we

627
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 4: get in an elevator while we're traveling and I said,

628
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 4: if I feel weird about anything, I will tell you

629
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 4: I forgot my idea at the front desk. And you

630
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 4: don't say a word.

631
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 3: We just because then there's.

632
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 4: This tie to me leaving something behind and they're already

633
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 4: trying to come find me whatever, but just for them

634
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 4: to say. But they're now asking why, well why, And

635
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 4: I said, because sometimes I just feel a certain way

636
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 4: and I have to honor how I feel about it,

637
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 4: you know. Yeah, yeah, just I like it. I think

638
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 4: the lying thing to make it like a fun we

639
00:26:59,080 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 4: can make it fun.

640
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, we totally can.

641
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 2: Well stay tuned for next week.

642
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 4: I'm adding that to card on Amazon Hi