Speaker 1: Look out. It's only films to be buried with. Hello,
Speaker 1: and welcome to films to be buried with. My name
Speaker 1: is Brett. I've seen it. I'm a comedian and actor,
Speaker 1: a writer, a director at Carbaretta, and I love films.
Speaker 1: As Benjamin Spock once said, trust yourself. You know more
Speaker 1: than you think you do. You know what Lost Highway
Speaker 1: is about. You know it. You're choosing to be difficult.
Speaker 1: You get it. It's about jealousy. Yeah, you've got it.
Speaker 1: Of course you've got it. Come on, man, it's obvious. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a good film. You can just enjoy it. You'd
Speaker 1: have to be like it was so difficult to get
Speaker 1: you got it, and look you instinctively understood it. So
Speaker 1: why are you making such a thing a bit? Yeah? Okay, wow,
Speaker 1: fascinating argument. Thank you, Benjamin spot. Every week I invite
Speaker 1: a special guest over. I tell them they've died. Then
Speaker 1: I get them to discuss their life through the films
Speaker 1: that meant the most of them. Previous gifts include Jenkins,
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith, Sharon Stone, and even Clad Planballs. But this
Speaker 1: week it is the brilliant comedian, actor, writer podcast at
Speaker 1: and all round hero. It's Helen Bauer. Head over to
Speaker 1: the Patriot at patreon dot com forward Slashbrett Goldstein, where
Speaker 1: you get an extra twenty minutes of chat secrets. We talked,
Speaker 1: beginnings and endings, all sorts of stuff. You get the
Speaker 1: whole episode, uncut and ad free and as a video.
Speaker 1: Check it out over at patreon dot com forward Slashbrett
Speaker 1: Goldstein along with all the others shit that's there. So
Speaker 1: Helen Bauer, Helen Bauer. Oh, Helen Bower is a brilliant
Speaker 1: stand up. If you've never seen her, you must go
Speaker 1: and see her do stand up. She's fucking funny. She's
Speaker 1: got her own podcast, Trustee Hogs. She's funny as fun
Speaker 1: I've known her for a few years now. We recorded
Speaker 1: this one Zoom the other day. She's so funny. I
Speaker 1: really loved this one, and I think you will. I
Speaker 1: hope everyone as well. So that is it for now.
Speaker 1: I very much hope you enjoy episode two hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty two of Films to be Buried With. Hello, and
Speaker 1: welcome to Films to be Buried With. It is me
Speaker 1: Brett Goldstein, and I am joined today by a producer,
Speaker 1: a writer, a actor, a podcaster, a filmmaker, a YouTube maker,
Speaker 1: a series generator, a legend, and most of all, an
Speaker 1: incredible stand up comedian and sometimes scatcho. Maybe who knows.
Speaker 1: Let's find out. Please welcome to the show. It's the
Speaker 1: one in Ali. It's Helen bar Yeah. Wait, what have
Speaker 1: I ever produced? Listen? Helen Bower the first time? I
Speaker 1: think we maybe met before it, but you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know how long ago it was. But you know,
Speaker 1: when people always look, people ask me, yeah, have you
Speaker 1: got any advice? You got any advice? And I always say,
Speaker 1: make your own ship. That's the only advice I can
Speaker 1: give anyone, make your own ship. Yeah. Yeah. A perfect
Speaker 1: example of this because years and years ago you contacted
Speaker 1: me and said I'm making an entire series of anything,
Speaker 1: and you made it YouTube and you asked me to
Speaker 1: be in it and I said yes, and it was
Speaker 1: brilliant and you made it completely yourself with Michael but
Speaker 1: as in you clearly had no money and there was
Speaker 1: no wait, how obvious was the fact I had no money?
Speaker 1: But like, you made a harding TV show and I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's it, that's what you do. Me and Michael Russ
Speaker 1: did make an entire TV show. We did. We thought
Speaker 1: we were being geniuses and I was We're both working
Speaker 1: in retail at the time, but he was an amazing
Speaker 1: writer and I was like, Okay, I'm going to sort
Speaker 1: this out. So we found an office that our friend's
Speaker 1: uncle owned and used it at the weekends to film show.
Speaker 1: It was a great time. I was twenty two, though,
Speaker 1: and very overambitious. But why the fun I love that?
Speaker 1: But you know we met before, Yeah, we did meet before.
Speaker 1: We know each other from before. Yeah, do you know
Speaker 1: exactly why? Though? Because I was the tech of Britain's
Speaker 1: best Friends in The Joker in two thousand and nine,
Speaker 1: Britain's Best Mates was best Mate with the Esto Characters
Speaker 1: show that I directed that I would describe as one
Speaker 1: of the great underrated gems of my back catalog. They
Speaker 1: were so fucking funny. That show was so fucking good
Speaker 1: and nobody saw it. It was so funny. It was
Speaker 1: so ridiculous, Like I remember the bit where he just
Speaker 1: shows the vein in his arm because he was so pale,
Speaker 1: so vividly, so vividly. But it was also such a
Speaker 1: good lesson. It was my first time I'd ever been
Speaker 1: at fringe. I was teching in the joke, which doesn't
Speaker 1: even exist anymore, and I remember going, there can be
Speaker 1: something amazing and they can still have horrible experience of debts,
Speaker 1: you know, because I remember one day I think you
Speaker 1: might have been there and they hied around that they're
Speaker 1: in the back right so they don't know who's coming
Speaker 1: in and the lights are quite bright and the audience
Speaker 1: were you one of their mums and Lisa Scott Lee
Speaker 1: from Stats And it was like ten minutes into the
Speaker 1: hour long show and clearly one of them had dipped
Speaker 1: under the lights and I'd realized what was happening like
Speaker 1: and went, wait a second, we can't perform this to
Speaker 1: our director, our mom and Lisa Scott Lee from Stats.
Speaker 1: And I was in the booth. I was eighteen, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know what to do. I mean,
Speaker 1: they're funny boys. That was a funny show that they were.
Speaker 1: They deserved so much more of that. Edinburgh agreed, but
Speaker 1: it also shot Yeah, you're right. I mean, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's a good it's a nice lesson, but it just
Speaker 1: shows you that you can make really good ship and
Speaker 1: no one can care totally. This is the thing you can.
Speaker 1: It's just constantly throwing shit at the water. You just
Speaker 1: got to wait for the stickier ship. Yeah, that's it,
Speaker 1: And like not all like ships are sticky. That's the
Speaker 1: famous thing about shit. Some are slipperies, some a liquid
Speaker 1: like you don't know what you're going to get. Well,
Speaker 1: the thing with the ship, it's just sometimes it's not
Speaker 1: the right time for your ship. Sometimes you shit. Sometimes
Speaker 1: your ship's your ship sticky, it's just early or it's late.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're right, that's what I think, as
Speaker 1: in I think that show is a perfect eample brita
Speaker 1: spemas I think was a genuinely brilliant show. But maybe
Speaker 1: it was a couple of years ahead of the conversation
Speaker 1: about masculinity and all that shit, or it was a
Speaker 1: couple of years behind something, who knows, but the time
Speaker 1: for it. The ship wasn't sticky on the day of release,
Speaker 1: but it was sticky shit. This is like an amazing
Speaker 1: metaphor for all art. Like every every ship is destined
Speaker 1: to be the one that like makes the toilet bowl
Speaker 1: what it is. But some don't make it to the
Speaker 1: toilet bowl. Some just get in your pants. Some make
Speaker 1: it to the woods, but don't get out of the woods,
Speaker 1: like yeah, And sometimes you're not expecting it. I'm going
Speaker 1: so fast down the bowl you don't even see him.
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's just a fart and you didn't realize
Speaker 1: the ship was there. Yeah, it was just an idea.
Speaker 1: But the next thing you know, you pull down your
Speaker 1: pants and it's full of shit and you had no
Speaker 1: idea it was coming. And then sometimes it's just a
Speaker 1: vague idea and it's just turtle heading out of your anus,
Speaker 1: like I'm here, like I'm present, I've got something for you,
Speaker 1: but not quite ready to let go. You're not ready
Speaker 1: for it yet, You're not I don't think you're ready
Speaker 1: for this ship. As Destiny's Child were probably really saying,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I think there's a book in this yeah,
Speaker 1: with illustrations obviously, Yeah, in your illustrations, I'm assuming. And
Speaker 1: then and then, like Britain's Best Mates would have been
Speaker 1: like the plug shit that was holding in, like the
Speaker 1: pizza you had the night before. So you know, sometimes
Speaker 1: when there's like a little pood that then allows everything
Speaker 1: else to fall out of you. So like Britain's Best Mate,
Speaker 1: it was like I think it was a bit early
Speaker 1: toxic masculinity wise, We're going to do that as the
Speaker 1: angle and that was like the plug. But then that
Speaker 1: storm led to Ted Lasso. Wow, I mean wow. Just
Speaker 1: in case it's not clear, because Britain's best mates are
Speaker 1: directed Jamie Glass and were the stars of it and
Speaker 1: they were in and and friends with Lisa Scott Lee. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and friends with Scott Lisa. I don't want any of
Speaker 1: this to sound like a negative on that show. The
Speaker 1: show was phenomenal and they were phenomenal. Yeah, the ship
Speaker 1: was too early. They shipped themselves too soon. That's what
Speaker 1: Lisa Lisa when they called the showut t she's too soon.
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for this. I remember her saying it,
Speaker 1: and it's really stayed with me throughout my journey to
Speaker 1: becoming a stand up comedian. Now let's talk about that.
Speaker 1: So you've just well, you've just done, You've just had.
Speaker 1: I get I wasn't at Edinburgh this yet, but from
Speaker 1: the press, and who knows what his real life. From
Speaker 1: the press, it seems you had an excellent Edinburgh. Was
Speaker 1: it excellent to experience or was it a name? I
Speaker 1: had a nice second hour, what can I say? But
Speaker 1: I also feel like I've cheated. I've cheated Edinburgh because
Speaker 1: I did my first hour and then the world lockdown,
Speaker 1: so I got to be like the nominated newcomer for
Speaker 1: like three years. So I was exciting a new for
Speaker 1: so long. But it also meant I had so long
Speaker 1: to write my second show, so I wouldn't say I've
Speaker 1: had that normal experience of like you do an hour
Speaker 1: and then you do another hour, then you do another hour,
Speaker 1: because I've just had so many breaks. Yeah, so it
Speaker 1: makes sense, and I do you think the critics tend
Speaker 1: to turn against you on your second hour, But because
Speaker 1: there was such a long gap, they probably felt like, oh,
Speaker 1: they forgot, they forgot, they forgot. They were like, this
Speaker 1: is her sixth hour. Yeah, yeah, they like the sixth hour.
Speaker 1: That's great. Oh I'm glad you had fun. I heard
Speaker 1: it was a tough one, but I had a nice show.
Speaker 1: I had a fun show and I had a nice
Speaker 1: but oh it was a tough one. But I was
Speaker 1: also in like a really small venue, so like you
Speaker 1: know when you're like in a venue where everyone's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you've sold out, You've made it, and
Speaker 1: then you're talking to people and you're like, oh my sellout.
Speaker 1: Capacity is when yours is half old. Yeah. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: like the illusion was that I was crushing it, but
Speaker 1: the reality was that we were selling out when forty
Speaker 1: five tickets has been sold, that I'm a genius. No,
Speaker 1: it wasn't smart. The venue was a bad choice to
Speaker 1: me because I wanted to do originally a show about
Speaker 1: my German heritage, but the room they put me in
Speaker 1: was Bunker two. So we decided, no, it's two tense,
Speaker 1: isn't it. Yeah, yeah, because but there's things. Most of
Speaker 1: the rooms in Edinburgh are named a little bit like
Speaker 1: third Reich awful, messy, Like even in a pleasant courtyard,
Speaker 1: you've got three bunkers, you've got an attic, you've got
Speaker 1: a cellar. Yeah. So it's like it's quite tricky to
Speaker 1: place people like me the shower. Yeah yeah, really dark,
Speaker 1: it's rough. It's rough out there. It's out there. So
Speaker 1: go on tell me. You seem to have something on
Speaker 1: your mind. I just have to tell you because I'm
Speaker 1: about to like lose my mind with joy. About twelve
Speaker 1: hours ago, I've got a trip to Disney World. Fucking shit,
Speaker 1: that's incredible. I'm dying. I'm literally dying, Brett. I cannot
Speaker 1: handle this like I have wanted to go since I
Speaker 1: think before I was born is the happiest place there
Speaker 1: don't and I've already got so much much like this
Speaker 1: is my turning red cap. I'll put it on for
Speaker 1: you like I have everything already and I just I've
Speaker 1: never been. It's never been like an option. I've been
Speaker 1: to Paris, but like you know, but this is my moment.
Speaker 1: I'm going to Florida. Can you believe it? When are
Speaker 1: you going? I'm so excited to you January beginning of January?
Speaker 1: Oh incredible as well? Then it won't be rand Who
Speaker 1: are you going with? Okay, this is the risk. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you're going to react to this. Jordan Brooks,
Speaker 1: that's so funny, so funny. Snil Patel and a friend
Speaker 1: of mine who's an actor called Gwyneth Keyworth who's currently
Speaker 1: in to Kill a Mockingbird but she's going to be
Speaker 1: finished by then, so we were messaging booking it while
Speaker 1: she was at the interval playing Scout, like I feel like,
Speaker 1: what do you think of the mix of people? Though,
Speaker 1: because I'm worried about Jordan's snail, because that's why I
Speaker 1: invited Gwyneth because I was worried they're going to be
Speaker 1: a bit ironic. Yes, well, yes, yeah, A real balance
Speaker 1: you've got there, You've got a real balance of joy
Speaker 1: and yeah. I think I really want you to make
Speaker 1: a video documentary of the entire trip. Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: The little I know and love about Jordan Brooks's he
Speaker 1: has a great silliness and joy and love. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think that he may arrive at Disney World
Speaker 1: with a sneer, but he will leave with tears in
Speaker 1: his eye and the biggest smile on his face and say,
Speaker 1: do you know what's the happiest place? Yes, I got.
Speaker 1: It's like you can see what I'm envisioning. Because I
Speaker 1: was thinking about, so I called Sanila and Jordan the
Speaker 1: Little Princess. I was thinking about before I go, getting
Speaker 1: gifts for the little Princess so they can wear matching outfits.
Speaker 1: So like Sanil and Jordan could like have a little
Speaker 1: matching like because I've got like two goofy movie T shirts.
Speaker 1: That's my power line one. I'm showing you now, thank you.
Speaker 1: And I think like if I could dress them up
Speaker 1: matching and get them ears and just take them straight
Speaker 1: to like a really magical princess meat. I think that
Speaker 1: could be a good Like just in the deep end,
Speaker 1: you've got to swim, You've got to buy into this.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think they will. I think I
Speaker 1: think it's undeniable when you're there. I think it's quite hard.
Speaker 1: It's like mappets and stuff. Quite it's quite hard to
Speaker 1: maintain synthesis. Yeah, you sort of get broken down pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: I think, agreed, And I think they're sort of like
Speaker 1: trying to make out they don't really give a shit,
Speaker 1: but they definitely do. And all the things they haven't
Speaker 1: actually booked he yet, Me and Gwyneth a book twelve
Speaker 1: hours ago. They're booking tonight because Jordan's coming over for
Speaker 1: a sleepover and I'm going to Leicester, So I just
Speaker 1: I'm going to log it. I'm for sure going to
Speaker 1: log it on like Instagram story because I think it
Speaker 1: is important to like for toxic masculinity, I guess partly,
Speaker 1: but also just for like, yeah, just for the world
Speaker 1: in general. I think people who are struggling with the
Speaker 1: cost of living crisis and they really want to see
Speaker 1: for absolute spoiled brats spending their hard end cash mainly
Speaker 1: earned through Patreon on a trip to Disney World. I
Speaker 1: think it's a perfect solution to everyone's problem. Really good.
Speaker 1: I love that. I mean, have you been you know what.
Speaker 1: I haven't been for a very long time, but I
Speaker 1: have been more than once and it is the best.
Speaker 1: Certainly I haven't been in I need to go again.
Speaker 1: But it is truly magnificent. This is the thing. It's
Speaker 1: going to be so much better than last time you went.
Speaker 1: Because I watch all the vlogs, like that's my favorite
Speaker 1: thing to do as Disney vlogs, and like Batwo is open,
Speaker 1: so the whole Star Wars Land, like Epcot World Showcase,
Speaker 1: looks so good. Like obviously Disney's Animal Kingdom has a
Speaker 1: full Avatar section. You can do a Navi river journey
Speaker 1: like it's incredible. And Hollywood Studios now has the Guardians
Speaker 1: of the Galaxy ride. Yes please, yes please. This episode
Speaker 1: is sponsored by Disney World Disney for Oh your Disney
Speaker 1: needs you. Fuck. I've forgotten to tell you something. No,
Speaker 1: and it's hard, man, I actually don't want to tell
Speaker 1: you this because of your trip. You are No, this
Speaker 1: is one of them. No, Helen Bower, you've died. No, No,
Speaker 1: not so such bullshit it's a real Obama. But bring
Speaker 1: me back, bring me back, bring me back. Let's see
Speaker 1: how we go. How did you die? Can I just
Speaker 1: go suddenly? That's all I want. I want to do?
Speaker 1: But how suddenly? What happened? My friend sa Neil, we
Speaker 1: sort of made a plan. We're both single and we
Speaker 1: lived together, and he went, if you're still single when
Speaker 1: you're forty, I'll put a bolt in the back of
Speaker 1: your head. And I think it's quite nice because it's
Speaker 1: so quick, like a cow. That's what they do with cows, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: like a big like a big cow. Yeah, line you up,
Speaker 1: bolting the back of the head. He's a minister. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what. It's the first cow related death. And
Speaker 1: I also, I think it's a great idea. I don't
Speaker 1: want to feel anything. I want it to be so sudden.
Speaker 1: There's something about it being a bolt rather than say
Speaker 1: a bullet, a gun. Oh no, not a bullet. I
Speaker 1: don't want to endorse gun violence. A bolt is very different.
Speaker 1: It seems it feels cleaner the bolt, like it feels
Speaker 1: like there's not going to be a spray. It's just
Speaker 1: a great goes through this girl, but nothing popping out
Speaker 1: the other end, you know what I mean. Agreed, that's
Speaker 1: a lovely idea. Agreed. And also is it illegal if
Speaker 1: he says that he's confused between me and a cow.
Speaker 1: If he says he's a farmer, is it illegal? Is
Speaker 1: it illegal? Prove if he's wearing barber can he go down?
Speaker 1: We don't know. If he's got farming equipment and he
Speaker 1: says he's a farmer, where's the crow? That's so genius,
Speaker 1: it's really Yeah, that's how I want to go. Then
Speaker 1: at forty, I don't know. Maybe just because they're not,
Speaker 1: i'd be an. I don't like anticipation. I'd be anticipating
Speaker 1: it for the next ten years. What if it's any
Speaker 1: time after your forty and it was surprised, m it
Speaker 1: would be nice because then I would never have to
Speaker 1: think about pensions or what they are. I don't think. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well if if it's if it's getting out before pension,
Speaker 1: then then you could hang on until your sixties. Couldn't
Speaker 1: you spend how much you're into life? I guess I
Speaker 1: like it. I like living, Yeah, I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: think it's a bad thing. And maybe give yourself a
Speaker 1: different deadline than the forty that does seem young, but
Speaker 1: I nearly just said I'm pro life. Yeah yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: going to say, let's just say around around my forties
Speaker 1: and we'll just leave it there, Okay, okay, yeah, well
Speaker 1: then leave it with Snila. I guess it's not really
Speaker 1: that's his choice. Yeah. Do you worry about death? I
Speaker 1: don't really because I know what's going to happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I just don't want it to be long
Speaker 1: and painful for me or for people around, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want my death to be scarring for someone. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I think Sania will move on quite quickly. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. He'll just chuck me in the garden
Speaker 1: and let the nature take its course. So he's not
Speaker 1: even really going to bury you, just sort of leave
Speaker 1: you on top of the No, I think he'd actually
Speaker 1: give me to my sister because my sister's got into
Speaker 1: taxidermy now, so I have a feeling that's going to
Speaker 1: be my future. And then you'd be on the wall
Speaker 1: like hand solo. Yeah. Well, I think it's because Hampster
Speaker 1: is going to die soon and she wants to taxidermy it. So, like,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's going to be a good taxidermy job.
Speaker 1: But like if that is my destiny, that's my destiny.
Speaker 1: Clean out the boat. I'll fill it up with yeah, stuffing.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's in there. Bit of phone, bit
Speaker 1: of phone. Probably leave you on a chair or what
Speaker 1: she pose you? Or oh I think i'd like to
Speaker 1: be on an arm chair. Yeah, yeah, I definitely don't
Speaker 1: want to be ahead just coming out of a wall,
Speaker 1: because I could imagine like being quite dusty, and i'd
Speaker 1: want to be watching a TV. I think sitting in
Speaker 1: front of the telly, one leg over the other or
Speaker 1: both feel man spread absolutely like real like rat out vibes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like you're taking up a lot of space
Speaker 1: as a as a corpse with if you're man spreading
Speaker 1: no disrespect. Maybe that's what people I feel like you're
Speaker 1: just saying women shouldn't take up space dad or alive,
Speaker 1: and I think that's a borring to say. I think
Speaker 1: what I've always at this time and time, as much
Speaker 1: space as they can, except when they're dead. They need
Speaker 1: to make themselves very small, put them in the little
Speaker 1: lady coffins and the little ladies cemetery. Yes, quite right,
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking I don't know the size of your sofa.
Speaker 1: I don't know how many people your sisters are having around.
Speaker 1: It's she's bringing up three guys on the three seats,
Speaker 1: and one of them is taken up with you, and
Speaker 1: you're man spreading, so you're one and a half cushions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: then I'm thinking maybe she goes. I always i'd closed
Speaker 1: their legs. When did you hear me say I'm not
Speaker 1: happy for living man to sit on my lap or
Speaker 1: sit on my shoulders? Absolutely right. I didn't let you
Speaker 1: finish a sentence at some point, and maybe that's where
Speaker 1: it was headed. But living man, the living man needs
Speaker 1: to know what he's walking into. I think he needs
Speaker 1: a heads up come back to my my dead stuffed
Speaker 1: sisters on this sofa man's bedding. Yeah, but Brett, Babe,
Speaker 1: that's so tricky to bring up a conversation. It does
Speaker 1: not come up naturally. And I'm not saying as well,
Speaker 1: isn't it God? So conventional to want the warning to
Speaker 1: just assume that the woman has to say if she's
Speaker 1: got a stuffed human in her house, and I don't
Speaker 1: think it's on her. I don't think it is on her. God,
Speaker 1: I'm old fashioned. Yeah, you should have to say anything.
Speaker 1: You really shouldn't just walking to deal with it. What
Speaker 1: do you think happens after you die? Not to your body?
Speaker 1: We know where that's going, but I don't know. I
Speaker 1: thought I thought nothing happened, But then I watched Soul
Speaker 1: on Disney Pixar, and I got a bit confused because
Speaker 1: it made sense. It did make sense that like it
Speaker 1: goes into a body, and like I definitely have like
Speaker 1: seen animals where I've been like, oh, I feel like
Speaker 1: you were a person before and you're trying to tell
Speaker 1: me something. But it also might have been I keep
Speaker 1: going to the zoo like drunk or high and sort
Speaker 1: of like you know when you look at a lion
Speaker 1: and you're like, what's your message? But it's just looking
Speaker 1: at you because it's trapped and miserable. Get me out,
Speaker 1: Get me out, get me out. But it's looking at
Speaker 1: me in a way I'm like, who are you? Like granny, grandpa?
Speaker 1: But also I think I used to think nothing happened
Speaker 1: because my mum believes in ghosts, so it's very frightened
Speaker 1: growing up because she'd always be like, oh, Like I'd
Speaker 1: go into her room and be like, oh, I'm really
Speaker 1: scared there's a ghost in my room, and like you
Speaker 1: know her, most parents are like, no, no, you're just
Speaker 1: being silly. Go back. My mum would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: better say hello or it might go turn nasty. So
Speaker 1: I would feel like living in a constant state of stress,
Speaker 1: still laughing because it's very traumatizing for me. Take me
Speaker 1: through this a little bit slower, No, because now I'm
Speaker 1: gonna back. He thought there were guys, Yeah, yeah, said
Speaker 1: you're not nice to the guys, they'll turn dark. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because because when okay, let me go down, because I'm
Speaker 1: getting nervous saying this, because I'm home alone and I
Speaker 1: scared someone's going to walk past me in the background
Speaker 1: and that will be it. So basically like my mom.
Speaker 1: The first house I lived in when I was little,
Speaker 1: my mum said there was a nice man downstairs and
Speaker 1: a horrible woman upstairs, which is classic car. She doesn't
Speaker 1: really trust women, but she loved the odd band downstairs.
Speaker 1: And when she brought me home from the hospital, my
Speaker 1: brother home from the hospital, she'd be like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is this is Ted, this is Helen there, my baby,
Speaker 1: Please be nice to them, and then she would like
Speaker 1: keep us downstairs. The whole day because she didn't like
Speaker 1: the lady at the top of the stairs. And she
Speaker 1: didn't tell any of her friends about this lady at
Speaker 1: the top of the stairs. But then one day two
Speaker 1: of her friends were over. They were a couple and
Speaker 1: the woman was at the top of the stairs and
Speaker 1: her husband called up like, oh, oh moe, she's gonna
Speaker 1: push you. She's gonna push you. And my mum was like, yep,
Speaker 1: that's it, we're moving. So we moved and we didn't
Speaker 1: have ghosts in the house for a while. But now
Speaker 1: my mum lives next to in a new build, next
Speaker 1: to Fleet service station, and she's got ghosts again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what are the guys now? And she doesn't know, but
Speaker 1: she's not scared of them. She just wants to know
Speaker 1: what they've got to say. So she's hired a woman
Speaker 1: called Tricia who was a medium specifically for the Fleet,
Speaker 1: Farnum and specific areas of North London. Yeah, yeah, listen,
Speaker 1: you come to the right place. I'm not you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, I have questions, but I believe you. I'm
Speaker 1: scared of the old lady young the stairs too, me too,
Speaker 1: And can you see why my relationship with the afterlife
Speaker 1: is quite tricky because, like, I do think that there's something,
Speaker 1: but I don't want it to be that reality where
Speaker 1: people hang around with unfinished business and haunt certain spaces
Speaker 1: that they can't leave. Did we ever know what the
Speaker 1: old lady was angry about? My mum literally even now,
Speaker 1: is still very cagy about the information about it, mainly
Speaker 1: because as I've become an adult, I've started questioning her
Speaker 1: on some of her beliefs, and we've had like my
Speaker 1: mum can't watch the film Titanic because it brings back
Speaker 1: too many memories for her because in a past life
Speaker 1: she was on the boat, and I have since questioned
Speaker 1: that in a way that wasn't very sympathetic. So we
Speaker 1: can't really discuss everything. Is your mum a medium herself?
Speaker 1: Does she have a connection to the You never saw
Speaker 1: these guys? I didn't, but when I was younger I
Speaker 1: thought I did. But now I realized that an arrogance
Speaker 1: because the main ghost I saw was the ghost of
Speaker 1: Queen Victoria, which is just so arrogant. Yeah, I only
Speaker 1: saw ghosts that we'd learned about in school the week before.
Speaker 1: It feels a bit yeah, arrogant, But my mum thinks
Speaker 1: she has powers, and then she thinks that me and
Speaker 1: my sister have powers, like we're in a lineage. It's
Speaker 1: it's I think it's a mental health problem, but we're
Speaker 1: just calling it witching. Yeah, do you think you have powers?
Speaker 1: Some Maybe you being stuffed and kept on the sofa
Speaker 1: isn't so silly after all, because it would make sense.
Speaker 1: Maybe your physical form will be there, but your ghost
Speaker 1: will actually also be sat inside you. But that's the thing.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be stuck there. I wouldn't mind
Speaker 1: visiting my body, but like I don't want to feel
Speaker 1: trapped in one place. I wouldn't mind being reborn. I
Speaker 1: like that, and I like the idea that like that,
Speaker 1: that which really like wishy wash she'd been when you
Speaker 1: meet someone and you immediately have like a really good
Speaker 1: connection with them, like a really good friendship vibe. It's like,
Speaker 1: I bet we were in the trenches together. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: like I like that. I don't know. We won, but
Speaker 1: we won the war again, we bloody want it. Didn't
Speaker 1: we even classic anyway? After Disney Soldiers? So um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think there's something, but I don't know what it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your mum is fascinating. Yeah, well, listen, your mum, and
Speaker 1: you listen. It's complicated. There is a heaven by the way, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll take care, and it's filled with your favorite thing.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite thing? Pizza? Okay, it's a pizza party
Speaker 1: every night in heaven. The seats are made of pizza,
Speaker 1: but they're not too hard to say one and stuff
Speaker 1: deep pan lovely not crusty song, and the screens made
Speaker 1: of pizza. Everything smells of pizza. There are pizza people
Speaker 1: walking around. There's pizza on trades, pizza, pizza, pizza, and
Speaker 1: they're delighted to see all the pizza people. And they
Speaker 1: want to talk to you about your life. They're huge fans.
Speaker 1: They've seen everything you've ever done, and they've watched you
Speaker 1: from the top of the stairs and from the ground floor.
Speaker 1: Oh god, yes. They turns out the old lady was
Speaker 1: just a fan and she was to push the other
Speaker 1: lady out of the way because she couldn't see you
Speaker 1: for a second. Anyway. They want to know about your
Speaker 1: life through film, weirdly, and the first thing they ask
Speaker 1: is what's the first film you remember seeing? Helen Power?
Speaker 1: Ben Hu, Wow, do you know what I don't think?
Speaker 1: Ben Hur has ever come up on this podcast in
Speaker 1: all these many, many many episodes. No, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I thought it was going to be a really basic
Speaker 1: answer because it's always on TV when you're growing onto
Speaker 1: twenty four seven on Monday, Monday, Ben Hard Time. Ben Please.
Speaker 1: It's a great I mean, it's not like it's an
Speaker 1: okay film, a good film. I loved it. I can't
Speaker 1: guarantee it was the first film I ever saw, but
Speaker 1: it was the first film that I would come home
Speaker 1: from like play school and request Ben her like that
Speaker 1: was my go to. That was like, come home from playgroup,
Speaker 1: have a porridge and papple and watch the full of Benhir,
Speaker 1: like all the way to the leprosy colony, like the
Speaker 1: whole heart. What's the apple? But in a really cute way,
Speaker 1: It's a really cute apple. I was only four, I
Speaker 1: was so little. That's really CUTEE watch Ben Hair. And
Speaker 1: I watched My Ben Hair with your sister. Nope, nope.
Speaker 1: My brother and sister were like, way more like, let's
Speaker 1: go play outside, and I was like, let's do the
Speaker 1: chariot race. What's your age? Rage with your brother and sister?
Speaker 1: May I ask? Oh, so, like, there's my brother's the
Speaker 1: oldest than two years than me, and then two years
Speaker 1: and my sister. I'm a I'm a very obvious middle
Speaker 1: I'm a middle oh an attention seeking little hall. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. What is the film that scared
Speaker 1: you the most, and do you like being scared? You're
Speaker 1: not a big fan of the old Lady at the
Speaker 1: top of the stairs. I'm not a big fan of
Speaker 1: the old Lady the top of the stairs. I've definitely
Speaker 1: got more comfortable with horror films in recent years. Like
Speaker 1: I laughed during Hereditary in the cinema, which is mad.
Speaker 1: I know I laughed. I've definitely like I've watched horror
Speaker 1: films by myself recently and really enjoyed them. But when
Speaker 1: I was younger, it would be more things that I'd
Speaker 1: think I'd see later. But the scariest thing I ever
Speaker 1: saw was a Jim Gamble. I don't know whether this
Speaker 1: is a film, so I'm going to ask you because
Speaker 1: you might know. We had it recorded off the TV
Speaker 1: and a VHS tape and it was the Adventures of
Speaker 1: Peer Gint and it was Jim Gamble, who's this famous puppeteer,
Speaker 1: and it would be the story of Peer gint through Puppets.
Speaker 1: I checked to see if it existed because before recording this,
Speaker 1: because I was worried that it was like a mental
Speaker 1: health blip or something I had when I was five.
Speaker 1: But it does exist. That used to terrify me. And
Speaker 1: if that isn't a film, then Practical Magic the Nicole
Speaker 1: Kidman which film Practical Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've seen Practical Magic. I saw it when when when
Speaker 1: I when I was little. I don't remember it being scary,
Speaker 1: but that's no judgment. I just say I don't remember
Speaker 1: more of a romantic comedy with witches. I think it's
Speaker 1: because like everyone was like, oh, it's not a horror film,
Speaker 1: so we were allowed to watch it sleepovers very young.
Speaker 1: But I was fucking shitting myself because I've got this
Speaker 1: mother at home that's like, oh, we might be witches.
Speaker 1: We might be in a lineage of witches. And I
Speaker 1: was like, this is like a buyer pic of like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna when I fall in love, I'm gonna kill him.
Speaker 1: Like but I thought it was terrifying. And I remember
Speaker 1: Emma Black's my best friend, and she lived like five
Speaker 1: doors down the road from me, and she loved it,
Speaker 1: and I always pretended I loved it. And I'm really
Speaker 1: worried that she'll hear this and be like you, liar.
Speaker 1: I was so frightened, so frightened. I didn't like all
Speaker 1: the spells I was Emma these days. Emma's great. Emma's
Speaker 1: put her first one bed flat. She's crushing it. Wow,
Speaker 1: good for you, Emma. Emma, Hey, hey, Emma, hope you're
Speaker 1: he she loves so cute. It was so cute. Emma's
Speaker 1: so cute. It's mad. Okay, practical message, Okay, I listen
Speaker 1: like a scary puppet film. Honestly, give it a watch.
Speaker 1: I'd scrub forward to Green Hilda. It is horrifying, and
Speaker 1: I feel like my brother knew it scared me and
Speaker 1: would repeatedly put it on for that reason. Yeah. What
Speaker 1: about crying? What's the film that made you cry? Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm a big cry I cry for I cry constantly.
Speaker 1: I'd say I cry a little bit every single day.
Speaker 1: I cried yesterday when I booked Disney World because I
Speaker 1: felt so overwhelmed of joy. I'm just constantly emotionally wrought.
Speaker 1: The song the score of this still makes me cry.
Speaker 1: Just the score, and it's the Winona Rider Little Women.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love that film oh so much.
Speaker 1: It's so good. And so Thomas Newman did the score
Speaker 1: for it, who's like the best, right, he did, like
Speaker 1: Finding Nemo, it does everything. He's incredible. And there's a
Speaker 1: song on the score called Valley of the Shadow and
Speaker 1: it plays when I mean, you'll know this moment so well.
Speaker 1: So Beth's lying in her bed and Joe comes in
Speaker 1: and the wind goes outside the window and it's her
Speaker 1: soul leaving her body, and then Joe closes, it turns back.
Speaker 1: Beth is dead. And then you get the piano start
Speaker 1: playing really softly, which is so beautiful because that's Beth
Speaker 1: thing the piano. And then you have Anna, who's like
Speaker 1: the housekeeper, coming in and she drops rose petals on
Speaker 1: Beth's dolls and then she holds one of the doll's
Speaker 1: hands and it drops down and it like I cannot
Speaker 1: handle it. It's so beautiful. It's a wonderful film. It's incredible. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's gorgeous. Apart from like Amy is such a dick,
Speaker 1: But that's not the film's fault. That's not that's Louis dude.
Speaker 1: I get it, dude. I get that she's growing up,
Speaker 1: but grow up faster. I'm sorry. The little woman's not
Speaker 1: a big woman yet. Even when she's a big woman,
Speaker 1: she's a bit of a cump. Let's put it out there, okay,
Speaker 1: but you know by the end she's learned something. Don't
Speaker 1: be such a camp what go off of, Laurie? Thank
Speaker 1: God for Friedrich, so all I can say, thank God, Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you fred What if I may Here's a film
Speaker 1: that you love. People don't like it. It's not critically acclaimed,
Speaker 1: but you Helen Bower love it, Mama Mia, but also
Speaker 1: all my friends love it as well. It's so good.
Speaker 1: It's just joy. It's joy. You love it. I love it, Brett.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you said that, because it's so joyful.
Speaker 1: The story is set up so quickly, you know what's
Speaker 1: going to happen, but we're all having fun with song
Speaker 1: and the costume and it's so frothy. I love it.
Speaker 1: You know. Here's here's maybe what will happen to Jordan
Speaker 1: Brooks and Snil Patel in Disney World is that I
Speaker 1: was in Edinburgh and it was like we had a
Speaker 1: you know, I was doing a mixed show with Jerry
Speaker 1: Howe and Pat Bircher and on our one day off,
Speaker 1: and we were playing at the Phoenix, which is a
Speaker 1: venue which I would classify as not in Edinburgh. It
Speaker 1: was so far away from the main bit and it
Speaker 1: was like we had a tough year and it was fun,
Speaker 1: but it was tough and no one came and we
Speaker 1: did this show in a fucking anyway. On our day off,
Speaker 1: one day off, instead of seeing shows, we went to
Speaker 1: see Mama Mire at the cinema in the afternoon. And
Speaker 1: perhaps we went we walked in ironically on our lad's
Speaker 1: day out. Perhaps I can't guarantee, but perhaps we thought, well,
Speaker 1: this will be funny, and we went and it was
Speaker 1: just a few old people and us in the cinema,
Speaker 1: and the first ten minutes we sat there and by
Speaker 1: the end we were crying and singing and thought it
Speaker 1: was the best thing we'd ever seen. Are you talking
Speaker 1: about the moment the film changes, which isn't the Winner
Speaker 1: takes at all. It's slipping through my fingers all the
Speaker 1: time when Merrill is singing that to Amanda. But for me,
Speaker 1: the song that gets me is right at the end,
Speaker 1: when all is said and done, you know, when it's like,
Speaker 1: here's to us one more toast and then we'll pay
Speaker 1: the bill. I'm like, what a perfect, a perfect button
Speaker 1: on the end of this one. It's gorgeous. I saw
Speaker 1: it in the Basingstoke View Amazing Cinema highly recommends a
Speaker 1: lot of memories there with my cousin Sophie, and she
Speaker 1: had already seen it about three times. By the time
Speaker 1: we went to the cinema and seen it, it'd been
Speaker 1: out two weeks and she's basic as and she was
Speaker 1: bawling the whole way through it because she knew what
Speaker 1: was coming and she couldn't handle knowing that Merril was
Speaker 1: going to be on the side of that cliff, singing
Speaker 1: the winner takes at all and just being depairing all
Speaker 1: yeah with a scarf, which is a mad choice when
Speaker 1: your daughter's about to get married in like three minutes.
Speaker 1: She's got so many steps to climb. But she's like,
Speaker 1: I do have time for the full number. I will
Speaker 1: do the full number, and I'm definitely going to do
Speaker 1: a lot of work with this scuff, which no one expected.
Speaker 1: I think this guf is really putting in a shift.
Speaker 1: I'd say, okay, you know what that's where we differ.
Speaker 1: I believe it's the wind that that is. I think
Speaker 1: it's audience. That's the beauty of Meryl Street there. She
Speaker 1: makes it look effortless. You think it's the wind, but
Speaker 1: I'm going, that's oh Meryl, she's clapping that scarf doing
Speaker 1: all the work. There was no wind. It was a set.
Speaker 1: I would love it if she created the wind just
Speaker 1: with her power and we were like, wow, in amazing.
Speaker 1: What's a film you used to love but you don't
Speaker 1: love it anymore. You've watched it recently and it has
Speaker 1: changed for you or you have changed. I think every
Speaker 1: the world has changed, society has changed, and it's Charlie
Speaker 1: and the Chocolate Factory, the original one. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Speaker 1: What's what's that done to you? I just think it's
Speaker 1: fucking bullshit. How about that? I think the whole thing
Speaker 1: is mental. No one's likable in it. My main problem
Speaker 1: with it. How about this? How the fuck does Augustus
Speaker 1: Gloop not win that chocolate factory? He knows Chucky, he
Speaker 1: loves it, he's invested in the world, and the fat
Speaker 1: boy gets chucked out in Room one. That's mental. Yeah,
Speaker 1: does Charlie Buckett know about chocolate? What the fuck? Augustus
Speaker 1: scloop crime is number one. He loves it too much
Speaker 1: because the best line in the film, they're all Augustus
Speaker 1: scloopers when he wins the first golden ticket and Slugworth
Speaker 1: is like whispering in his ear, and the interviewer goes,
Speaker 1: you found the first golden ticket? How does it feel?
Speaker 1: And he goes hungry, like oh, but his crime is
Speaker 1: in room one. He starts drinking the river of chocolate
Speaker 1: and his mum is like Augustus Darling saves something room
Speaker 1: for later. But he can't stop drinking because he's like
Speaker 1: got some solar compulsive overeating disorder, and he falls in
Speaker 1: and he gets up in the pipe to the thud room.
Speaker 1: But that's not a crime. The boy was hungry. No
Speaker 1: arguments here. You make a very powerful point or gust
Speaker 1: the scoop should have the chocolate. Factually, what is Charlie
Speaker 1: now about chocolate? He's had a couple of sweets in
Speaker 1: his time. One man suffer in a little chocolate bar.
Speaker 1: He's not an expert. You're absolutely right, no fucking clue
Speaker 1: what he's doing. Number falling apart in a week. How
Speaker 1: does Mike TV make it to room four, seeing as
Speaker 1: the characters only attribute is that he's wearing a cowboy
Speaker 1: hat and theoretically likes TV in same Yeah, his problem
Speaker 1: is but he stopped to come to the factory. This
Speaker 1: is the thing. It's such a big problem. Also, let's
Speaker 1: talk about the songs in it. For Rucasalt famous song,
Speaker 1: I want to feast, I want a bean feast. What's
Speaker 1: a bean feast? Well, you know a bean feast where
Speaker 1: you have baked beans on top of rannaby A bean feast,
Speaker 1: you know, the feast of beans, runner beans, beans and
Speaker 1: baked beans all makes to the stew kids. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: the film does not stand up in the cold light
Speaker 1: of day when you think about it as a business
Speaker 1: and running a fact. I'm sorry. It's Gloops and it
Speaker 1: should have been and you don't. I know, I'm livid.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's not even mentioning the Olympas who have
Speaker 1: been stolen from their home landing used to slaves. But
Speaker 1: I didn't want to bring that up. But that is
Speaker 1: another thing that I think needs to be discussed at
Speaker 1: some point. Yeah, I hope that when Gloop takes over,
Speaker 1: he at least pays them. I think he would That's
Speaker 1: the thing with Gloop. He's there for the food, not
Speaker 1: for the inequality. And I think he was very clear
Speaker 1: about that from day one. Because gloup Us so organically
Speaker 1: found the ticket. You know, he's not a brat like
Speaker 1: he He genuinely likes Wonka that much. Yeah. God, that's brilliant.
Speaker 1: That's brilliant. That's about that a lot. What's the film
Speaker 1: that means the most to you? Not because it's any
Speaker 1: good necessarily, but because the experience you had when seeing
Speaker 1: it always makes it special. So I've only seen it
Speaker 1: once since the time I saw it, but I was
Speaker 1: like twenty four or something, and it was a very
Speaker 1: poignant time in my life. And it's Victoria. Do you
Speaker 1: know it? It's a German film. I think one of
Speaker 1: the your term greats. Really love the one shot two
Speaker 1: and a half half film. Yes, listen, La Custer, who
Speaker 1: plays Victoria, is in the show that I kind of created, Soulmates,
Speaker 1: And the reason she's in that is because of Victoria.
Speaker 1: Because I was like, fucking air, we gotta get Are
Speaker 1: you fucking kidding? I'm serious? That's why I love that film.
Speaker 1: I think it's incredible. I need to do better research
Speaker 1: in my Lifetime. Oh my god, I wasn't bringing that
Speaker 1: up to them, be like, oh my god, we both
Speaker 1: love the same film. That great Okay. I was living
Speaker 1: in Berlin at the time. So I lived in Berlin
Speaker 1: for about three years, and I was a bit yeah boy, yeah, Hallucian,
Speaker 1: I'm working. I started, I started stand up in Germany. Yea,
Speaker 1: I'm going to blin in like two days. I love it. Yes, amazing,
Speaker 1: I'm Victoria. Well no, I did not have that experience,
Speaker 1: but I was going out club in constantly then because
Speaker 1: my job for a while when I first moved there
Speaker 1: was I was like a party tour guide and I
Speaker 1: would take people out drinking, like around Vashawer Skrasa and
Speaker 1: like be like, oh, we're gonna go to this club this.
Speaker 1: So I was constantly in those clubs with like I
Speaker 1: don't know, and then I hadn't really been to the
Speaker 1: cinemas inside moved there. Maybe i'd seen inside out, but
Speaker 1: like hadn't really done anything like that, and like was
Speaker 1: definitely like I moved with a friend and it took
Speaker 1: a while to find my group there and to make
Speaker 1: friends because you're in a new city, right, So it's
Speaker 1: a bit like at odds. And also I was like
Speaker 1: trying to figure out exactly where I wanted to do
Speaker 1: with my life because I hadn't started to stand up yet,
Speaker 1: but I'd feel like I'd done loads of things stand
Speaker 1: up adjacent and just hadn't bitten the bullet and gone
Speaker 1: for it, you know. And I was trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what I wanted to do. And I went to
Speaker 1: see it and it was like a really early morning
Speaker 1: show and we're talking like nine am at like movie
Speaker 1: mental like when those tiny, tiny little keno's, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, Like this is obviously not
Speaker 1: me at all. But I know this world. I know
Speaker 1: these streets that this person is walking down all by
Speaker 1: themselves and just sort of like someone saying like yes
Speaker 1: to different things. And like, for some reason, even the
Speaker 1: mention of the film is like say no and walk away.
Speaker 1: At the beginning, I was like, I need to say
Speaker 1: yes and have more adventures in my life. But it
Speaker 1: really struck a chord. And I don't know why, because
Speaker 1: it doesn't make sense that that was the one apart
Speaker 1: from the fact it was the same city. Well, it
Speaker 1: makes perfect sense. You were you were alone there, right
Speaker 1: were you? I was at this point. Yeah, you were
Speaker 1: a woman alone in an exciting city, who goes to clubs,
Speaker 1: who meets people, and was either saying yes or no.
Speaker 1: But that film is an entire yes and yes and
Speaker 1: yes and two and a half hours. It is a
Speaker 1: complete yes standing. But the worst thing is that the
Speaker 1: repercussions of that is I got fired from that job
Speaker 1: because the rule was you weren't supposed to sleep with
Speaker 1: anyone you were taking out, and I did because I
Speaker 1: was yes, standing next to the balin wall. Oh, Helen Anne, like, no,
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know, Yes, ANDed yourself into travel,
Speaker 1: landed myself into a firing. That's Victoria all over. It
Speaker 1: is Victoria all over. But I love it and like
Speaker 1: I think about it all the time. It's a fantastic film.
Speaker 1: And also from a technical point of view, it's all
Speaker 1: done in one shot, and I often think one shot
Speaker 1: things I don't necessarily I think sometimes that they are
Speaker 1: just stile over substance. Yeah, and they're just an exercise
Speaker 1: and you watched and going, well, that's clever, well done.
Speaker 1: Where's is the perfect one where it's like the style
Speaker 1: means the thing, as in, yeah, you sort of find
Speaker 1: yourself holding your breath the whole two enough as because
Speaker 1: as she and the camera you were like, how is
Speaker 1: this still? How is this happening? So can I ask
Speaker 1: a question, which is super Have you spoken about Victoria
Speaker 1: loads on this before? By the way, I have, but
Speaker 1: not for a very long time. So if people look,
Speaker 1: did you watch out of curiosity? Did you watch it
Speaker 1: with subtitles or without? Because with subsists, see, I would
Speaker 1: be fascinated. I remember watching it and thinking like I
Speaker 1: would have loved to have seen it not being able
Speaker 1: to speak German and follow her story. Yeah, because if
Speaker 1: you watch it, if you as just a native English
Speaker 1: speecher but don't speak German, yeah, then you actually find
Speaker 1: out things as she finds them out or pick up
Speaker 1: on clues. I remember thinking, oh, that would be such
Speaker 1: a cool expeak Like obviously I've watched the films was
Speaker 1: dead now and I do speak German, but I was like,
Speaker 1: that would be so fucking awesome. There's so many ways
Speaker 1: to watch this because of that. Love that, because there's
Speaker 1: so many good German films, but like that's one that
Speaker 1: like really like it works without speaking German at all?
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I can't fucking it's pointless. Stories. I
Speaker 1: can't remember what the film was. I accidentally watched the
Speaker 1: film without having the subtitles on, and I thought, oh,
Speaker 1: this film does not have subtitles and it was a
Speaker 1: foreign film. Yeah, and I watched twenty minutes of it
Speaker 1: before I checked, Oh, I need to turn on the
Speaker 1: subtitles myself. But I was following it and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is really interesting. It seems like I'm not meant
Speaker 1: to fully under time what's going on, but I'm getting it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, because Victoria she does
Speaker 1: speak English. She speaks English with the one guy in
Speaker 1: the group, but like they talk amongst themselves, and she's
Speaker 1: just sort of sitting there trying to like get the gist.
Speaker 1: And it's like, oh, that would be amazing like watching
Speaker 1: it because like obviously as a German and a subtitle
Speaker 1: read it like you kind of know what's your one
Speaker 1: step ahead of her, whereas it be really lushed to
Speaker 1: be with her. Yeah, I don't know. Good, so good.
Speaker 1: What is the film you most relate to? Helen Bower? Okay,
Speaker 1: do documentaries count? Because I'm a big documentary fan, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say Grey Gardens. I'm not like
Speaker 1: mental Okay, then I'm King of Kong a fistful of quarters, really,
Speaker 1: and I think that stands for every stand up or
Speaker 1: anyone in the arts that's not yeah, thank you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we all feel like we're Steve Weeby. But like, of course,
Speaker 1: there's loads of Billy Mitchell's running around and most of
Speaker 1: us are just like Walter who runs the gigs, and
Speaker 1: then Brian Coop's just that. Yeah. Yeah. What is the
Speaker 1: sexiest film you've ever seen? Helen Power? Three hundred? Okay,
Speaker 1: do you know what again? Don't think it's come up before? Really? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Topless men shouting and fighting, that's your thing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know what the storyline is at all. I
Speaker 1: gave a hand job to it when it came out
Speaker 1: in the cinema, and I was a teenager. Like it's
Speaker 1: always equated with like to the film, or to a
Speaker 1: man whilst to a man to a man whilst watching
Speaker 1: the film once again in Basingstoke. A lot of stuff
Speaker 1: happening in basing complicated. Yeah, so you were aroused by
Speaker 1: three hundred? He was aroused? Oh my god, I keep
Speaker 1: going with gay guys. This is my problem, thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's that age when you're like a teenage like
Speaker 1: late teenager, and like you're like everything's above the trousers.
Speaker 1: But you're like when we see three hundred this weekend,
Speaker 1: I'm going in pant like right, So you're thinking we're
Speaker 1: having an amazing We've been to Bella, Italia, ignoring what's
Speaker 1: happening on the screen. Yeah, we've had a fancy sit
Speaker 1: down Italian meal. Like we know it's going to be good, right.
Speaker 1: It is a group hang out, but we are next
Speaker 1: to each other, so it's fine. I'm not leaning over
Speaker 1: Anna Grant to get to him, you know, like it's
Speaker 1: oh yeah, oh Glass of Hannah. And then the movie started,
Speaker 1: and like the whole film was like me trying to
Speaker 1: find the confidence to like go for it, and he
Speaker 1: was like there, like go on, do it, do it
Speaker 1: when you're ready. And I had like a low cut
Speaker 1: top one and I was trying to angle my breast
Speaker 1: so we could see cleavage and like not stop looking
Speaker 1: at the naked men, look at my titties and I'm
Speaker 1: staring at the screen. Yeah, And then I got him.
Speaker 1: He was really really hard, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've done something really good here. But then I knew
Speaker 1: I had to do something else because it couldn't be
Speaker 1: harder than that was the end, but like I didn't.
Speaker 1: I felt like I couldn't do that. Suddenly like a
Speaker 1: bigger movement because everyone else was there and I didn't
Speaker 1: want to be like, oh, Helen gave a hand job
Speaker 1: to three hundred. Like now it's fine, but at the
Speaker 1: time it's like, I can't be the girl that did that.
Speaker 1: And so we had to finish himself off in the
Speaker 1: toilets at the end. But it was good. It was
Speaker 1: still very sexy. So yeah, a lot signs for he
Speaker 1: was staring at three hundred men and then he said,
Speaker 1: let me go finish myself off in the in the
Speaker 1: men's Yes, and you thought, I think he's I think
Speaker 1: I was. I was, I was slitting excellent. There's a
Speaker 1: traveling Bone's worrying? Why I dones? What's the film you
Speaker 1: found a rousing you weren't sure you should starter for ten? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The quizzing, Yeah, the one about quizzing. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: it's when I first realized that I find men crying
Speaker 1: really sexy, which is really worrying. I think I've said
Speaker 1: this on a podcast before because I know this feeling
Speaker 1: of shame and embarrassment saying this, but I I masturbated
Speaker 1: to him crying saying dad, saying his dad was dead
Speaker 1: in a restaurant to Halisey and I don't know why,
Speaker 1: but that is a very memorable bank for me. Can
Speaker 1: you look at me, because I'm going to start panicking
Speaker 1: if you come in your eyes I'm anyone answers this question, probably,
Speaker 1: which is so far about four people thank you properly,
Speaker 1: but otherwise everyone's just like, oh, symbol was kind of
Speaker 1: a sexy lining cup and it's like, yeah, but did
Speaker 1: you wank to completion? No, it doesn't count because like,
Speaker 1: for some reason, very emotion it was. Maybe it was
Speaker 1: the first in my life i'd seen a man and
Speaker 1: an attractive man being very vulnerable, and for me, I
Speaker 1: was like, how sexy is that? And it really turned
Speaker 1: me on. I don't think it was anything to do
Speaker 1: with the fact his dad was dead. Yeah, sort of
Speaker 1: want to check in. And I guess I don't think
Speaker 1: it's that you don't care the reasons for it. He's
Speaker 1: crying and you're like, I don't care why, bab you
Speaker 1: don't need to talk. I just need to watch this.
Speaker 1: It was the vulnerability I think details, Yes, stop banging
Speaker 1: on about your dad. Just you can think about it
Speaker 1: and I'll just watch you cry. That's what you're Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll just I'll just be in the corner just watching. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. Detively the greatest film of all time. I
Speaker 1: know I'm correcting this, so I don't want any backchat. Matilda.
Speaker 1: Danny DeVito's Matilda is flawless. Thank you, thank you. Thank
Speaker 1: next question, thank you. It will be respected, it will
Speaker 1: be respected, thank you. How do you feel about the
Speaker 1: new Matilda coming out? I'm excited because I think it's
Speaker 1: not a remake of Danny DeVito's Matilda, because he did
Speaker 1: like his version of it. It was like narrated. But
Speaker 1: this is Tim Mention's musical, and the musical is absolutely incredible.
Speaker 1: The songs are brilliant. It's not a remake of that.
Speaker 1: It's the same characters, but it's almost like a you
Speaker 1: could think of it. It's like in the Matilda universe.
Speaker 1: But I'm chill with it. I'm excited. Correct what thank
Speaker 1: you film that you could or have? What's the most
Speaker 1: over and over again. I really thought about this. I
Speaker 1: think like obviously Ben Herr is a good contender because
Speaker 1: I watched it so much growing up. Sound of Music
Speaker 1: is a good contender. Annie's a really good contender. But
Speaker 1: I'd say, honestly, the film that I'd keep on going
Speaker 1: back to is probably the film Wimbledon, because that was
Speaker 1: like one of the first DVDs we had our so
Speaker 1: people would come over and watch Wimbledon. It's weird. It's
Speaker 1: a weird choice, huh, all the day after Tomorrow. Those
Speaker 1: were the two first DVDs we had our house. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Wimbledon's a weird one in that it's sort of I know,
Speaker 1: it's not even good. Do you know what Wimbledon is?
Speaker 1: A sticky shit is what we're talking about. Wimbledon on
Speaker 1: paper is a slam dunk of a film. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to mix with sporting metaphors, but something maybe the timing,
Speaker 1: et cetera, something about Wimbledon. It wasn't a smash. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's a bad film. I think it's absolutely fine,
Speaker 1: But you would think on paper Wimbledon would be huge,
Speaker 1: should be shit too late the one I've seen the
Speaker 1: most of and I probably I don't know if it was.
Speaker 1: I just think it was shit, just full stop, Like
Speaker 1: it's not like the films that I watch over and
Speaker 1: over again, which I'm genuinely like eggs, like Basketball, I
Speaker 1: remember watching that a million times when I was younger,
Speaker 1: Like the funniest film, Dumb and Dumner, like these great films.
Speaker 1: But Wimbledon is probably it, and I don't know why.
Speaker 1: What's the We don't like it to be negative? Helen,
Speaker 1: do it? Quick's the worst film we've ever seen. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's just some Jason safean film which is like a
Speaker 1: Prince of Dragons coal on a Dungeon siege. It was horrendous.
Speaker 1: I walked out. I couldn't do it. Jason Stathon made
Speaker 1: a film called Prince of Dragons a Dungeon Siege. It's
Speaker 1: like coal on the Dungeon Siege. I cannot remember, but
Speaker 1: the beginning of it is. It's that bad. I refuse
Speaker 1: to look it up as well. I mean, you're going
Speaker 1: to look it up, aren't you. I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: look up because I have never read a Prince of
Speaker 1: Dragons a Dungeon Siege. Okay, dopon Jason Safe a Dungeon
Speaker 1: siege and see what comes up. Siege must be lying,
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm lying. You're a lion. I watched this with
Speaker 1: Huge Davis. Let me, yeah, listen, I'm not calling you.
Speaker 1: Oh oh no, no, okay, forget the Prince the Dragons. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's called Jason Statham in the Name of the King
Speaker 1: Colon a Dungeon siege tail. Okay, yeah, that's a complete
Speaker 1: different film. In the next lot one. You liked that film,
Speaker 1: I haven't. Truthfully, I haven't seen yet. He also plays
Speaker 1: farmer in it, so it must have been quite an
Speaker 1: early one. He plays farmer, which is the lead role.
Speaker 1: Oh it's a Yue Bowl film, Ui Bowl. The director
Speaker 1: of that film, okay, famously or not, has made film
Speaker 1: is I think one of the most sort of statistically
Speaker 1: critically hated directors of all time, Like every film gets
Speaker 1: was once stime. I went to my lid and he
Speaker 1: did a thing where he challenged film critics to box
Speaker 1: to a boxing match and genuinely fought the crizzies of
Speaker 1: his films in the ring and turned out to be
Speaker 1: quite a good fighter in no way, and I always
Speaker 1: respect him for that. Good him. Okay, fair play to him. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I like that. I just yeah, that film wasn't for me,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure it is for others. You know what
Speaker 1: is You're in comedy, you're a comedian, You're very funny.
Speaker 1: What's the film that made you laughter? Most? Telling? Bower?
Speaker 1: Any of the Jackass films, I'll never like. They're just
Speaker 1: the ones, aren't they? They're the funny James Acaster, Oh
Speaker 1: really Acaster loves Jackass, Loves loves loves. It's his favorite.
Speaker 1: It's incredible. Like I watched all the behind the scenes,
Speaker 1: like the making of the movie for this last one
Speaker 1: was absolutely enchanting. Their discussions around the dick Monster and
Speaker 1: like how it would work as a puppeteer, Like they
Speaker 1: got in the most famous puppeteers in the world, like
Speaker 1: the Team America Puppeteers to do the Dick Monster and
Speaker 1: it's just so funny. Do you want to be in Jackass? No?
Speaker 1: But I do want to be on set, Like I
Speaker 1: don't like, I don't want to be part of the pranks,
Speaker 1: even though I know the sets happen on prank, But like,
Speaker 1: come on, going in a portoloo and I'm blowing it
Speaker 1: up with Pooh everywhere. That's funny. That's good comedy. Also,
Speaker 1: they've got really like feminist in the last Sea film,
Speaker 1: have you noticed like they get like female tennis players
Speaker 1: and they serve at their dicks, and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: women can do anything. It's just so empowering. I find
Speaker 1: it very empowering. Helen Bower, you have been amazing and
Speaker 1: a delight and I've loved this. However, when you reached
Speaker 1: forty three Surprise and you were walking through your kitchen
Speaker 1: putting up a montage of the fifth trip you'd all
Speaker 1: taken to Disney Worlds, You've made a new new collage
Speaker 1: of it. And Neil walked in and he said, morning morning,
Speaker 1: Helen Bower. You call each other very foot, as you
Speaker 1: said lesson Nil hotel, and he went, oh, showing me
Speaker 1: the picture and he pointed the pictures. You had your
Speaker 1: back Tim and Ko Kong. He shot the bolt and
Speaker 1: as the boat win in your head, he said, oh,
Speaker 1: he was wearing wellies in a barber but you were
Speaker 1: instantly dead. The signs were there. And I was walking
Speaker 1: past a couple of weeks later, actually, I said, where's Helen?
Speaker 1: And Saniel said, oh, if you're looking at Helen, she's
Speaker 1: at her sister's house. I go over to your sister's house.
Speaker 1: I go where's Helen? She says, oh, she wouldn't mind
Speaker 1: you sitting on it. Doesn't mind living men's sitting on her.
Speaker 1: I said, what do you mean? I walk in there?
Speaker 1: You are stuffed man, spread on the cipher, cup of
Speaker 1: tea wedgst in your hand, and a saucer here. Yeah sweet,
Speaker 1: And I go, oh, blood, yeah, I said, do you
Speaker 1: mind if I if I bury her? I know that
Speaker 1: wasn't the plan, but she did have two secrets. One
Speaker 1: now if you know the Patriots section. One secret that
Speaker 1: she wanted to take to the graves. I do actually
Speaker 1: have to put her in the grave. I brought this coffin,
Speaker 1: but there's more of you and I was expecting because
Speaker 1: she's put so much foam in you, twice the size anyway,
Speaker 1: So I have to chop you up with your sister.
Speaker 1: She don't mind you're having her laugh. Chop you up,
Speaker 1: stuff you in the coffin. There's only it's only enough
Speaker 1: room in there to slip one DVD into the side
Speaker 1: for you to take across to the other side. And
Speaker 1: on the other side it's movie night every night, and
Speaker 1: one night it's your movie night in pizza Heaven. What
Speaker 1: film are you taking to show you? The pizza people
Speaker 1: of Pizza Party Heaven. When it's your movie night, Helen Bower,
Speaker 1: pizza guy, it has to be King of Corn a
Speaker 1: fistful of Quarters, because I it's the one that when
Speaker 1: someone says they haven't seen it, I will stop whatever
Speaker 1: we're doing and be like, you have to. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: we have to watch it. I just love watching people
Speaker 1: watch it for the first time. Yeah. So you're you're
Speaker 1: sitting on the stage at the front in front of
Speaker 1: the screen is watching everyone. Yeah, great, because it's such
Speaker 1: an emotional roll of guys that yeah, and so funny.
Speaker 1: Helen Bower, what joy? What is there anything you want
Speaker 1: to tell people to listen to it, to look out for,
Speaker 1: to watch, to buy tickets to you tell me I
Speaker 1: have a podcast. Yeah, that's always a good way to start.
Speaker 1: I do a podcast called Trusty Hogs with Lovely Catherine Beauhart,
Speaker 1: so please listen to that. And I have a special
Speaker 1: coming out but I don't know. It was filmed with
Speaker 1: eight hundred pound gorilla, but I don't know where it's
Speaker 1: going to end up of my first show called little
Speaker 1: Miss Baby Angel Face, So please look out for that.
Speaker 1: Follow me on Instagram, on Twitter, and I'll put it
Speaker 1: up there obviously, Ellen Bower, what a tree. Thank you
Speaker 1: very much, have a wonderful to you from about in
Speaker 1: the back of your head, and enjoy Disney item. Please
Speaker 1: make video diaries every single day of everybody. Well, I promise,
Speaker 1: I promise to love you. Good day you pay. So
Speaker 1: that was episode two hundred and twenty two. Head over
Speaker 1: to the Patreon at patreon dot com. Forward slast Brett
Speaker 1: Goldstein for the extra chat, secrets and video with Helen.
Speaker 1: Go to Apple Podcasts. Give us five stars, but don't
Speaker 1: talk about the podcast. No one cares about that. Talk
Speaker 1: about the film that means the most to you and
Speaker 1: why my neighbor Marian loves reading that. It always makes
Speaker 1: a cry and we really appreciate you. Thank you all
Speaker 1: for listening. Hope everyone is well. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: to Helen for doing this show. Thank you to screwbos
Speaker 1: Pit and Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Peace for
Speaker 1: producing it. Thanks to eight Us for hosting it. Thanks
Speaker 1: to Adam Richardson for the graphics. At least Aladdin for
Speaker 1: the photography. Coming to me next week for an incredible guest. Oh,
Speaker 1: so many great guests coming. You're gonna love it. So
Speaker 1: that is it for now? In the meantime, have a
Speaker 1: lovely week, and please, now more than ever, be excellent
Speaker 1: to each other.