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Speaker 1: I convinced my husband to let my teen mom sister

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Speaker 1: stay with us, but now he's refusing to help financially.

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Speaker 1: Let me start by saying that my parents had my

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Speaker 1: sister Jenna on accident when I was fourteen, so I

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Speaker 1: never really had a very close relationship with her until

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Speaker 1: a few months ago, as I moved out for college

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Speaker 1: when she was four. To keep a long story short,

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Speaker 1: Jenna found out she was pregnant a few months ago

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Speaker 1: during her senior year, and my parents immediately kicked her out.

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Speaker 2: They literally had her by accident.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you would expect, you know.

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Speaker 2: You would think they would be understanding.

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Speaker 1: I have been no contact with my parents for roughly

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Speaker 1: eight years now, and I hadn't seen my sister since

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Speaker 1: she was about eleven. Ah, this is tough, by the way.

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Speaker 1: This comes from user final underscore Builder twenty eight ninety

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Speaker 1: eight on the r slash okay storytime subreddit. Apparently, after

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Speaker 1: she was kicked out, she stayed at my friend's place

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Speaker 1: on her couch for a few weeks before deciding to

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Speaker 1: call me via Instagram. I was shocked to see the

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Speaker 1: notification but answered anyways. We ended up talking for over

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Speaker 1: an hour as she cried and told me everything that happened.

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Speaker 1: She was pregnant, had no family accept me, and she's

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Speaker 1: just a teenager. It broke my heart, and the next

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Speaker 1: day we met up for the first time in years.

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Speaker 1: Seeing how much she's changed since the last time I

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Speaker 1: saw her broke my heart because of my parents in

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Speaker 1: an issue that happened with them that I won't get

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Speaker 1: into here. I missed getting to see my baby sister

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Speaker 1: grow up.

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Speaker 2: This is just sad. I just can't imagine, like kicking

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Speaker 2: a child out.

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Speaker 1: Jenna told me about her situation and how she wasn't

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Speaker 1: going to be able to go to college, even though

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Speaker 1: she had amazing grades and had been accepted to multiple schools,

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Speaker 1: because of the baby and the fact that she needs

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Speaker 1: to work to support him. She told me how she

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Speaker 1: was staying on the couch and the whole situation made

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Speaker 1: me frustrated. That night, when I got home, I was

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Speaker 1: telling my husband about it, and I brought up the

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Speaker 1: idea of her staying in our guest house for a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a context. My husband and I are

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Speaker 1: very well off, as we both worked paying jobs. We

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Speaker 1: have two daughters, aged five and six, and after my

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Speaker 1: youngest was born, we came to the mutual agreement that

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Speaker 1: he would be a SHD stay at home dad. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Even with him at home, we have enough to afford

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Speaker 1: a large house and a guest house in the backyard,

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Speaker 1: which I am extremely grateful for. When I brought up

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Speaker 1: the idea to him, he immediately said no, he didn't

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Speaker 1: want Jenna and her baby in the house, as he

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Speaker 1: thought it would be add extra stress. After a bit

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Speaker 1: of back and forth and maybe ME guilting him a bit,

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Speaker 1: he reluctantly agreed and she moved in. After she came

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Speaker 1: to live with us, Jenna and I became way closer.

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Speaker 1: I was at her high school graduation. I was the

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Speaker 1: one who convinced her to go to college a few

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Speaker 1: minutes from our house. I was the only one in

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Speaker 1: the room when she gave birth, and I was the

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Speaker 1: second person to ever get to hold my nephew, Daniel.

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Speaker 1: We set up a crib next to her bed in

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Speaker 1: the guest house, and I thought the problem was solved.

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Speaker 1: Everything seemed okay until a couple of weeks ago when

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Speaker 1: Jenna started her new college classes. Oh that's where it

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Speaker 1: gets sticky. My husband hadn't complained much until then because

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Speaker 1: he never had to be around her or the baby much.

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Speaker 1: Jenna got a job after he was born, bartending, so

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Speaker 1: her shift didn't start until mine was over, and I

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Speaker 1: could watch Daniel while she was gone. However, now her

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Speaker 1: morning classes conflict with my work schedule, meaning my husband

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Speaker 1: has to watch Daniel sometimes.

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Speaker 2: That I think it gets because he's sad he doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to. I think you do have to maybe look

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Speaker 2: into like daycares or you know.

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Speaker 1: But also, you guys have two kids of your own.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. I feel like it's

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Speaker 2: a little bit complicated to ask your husband, who wasn't

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Speaker 2: interested in doing this, to take on that responsibility.

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Speaker 1: This year, our youngest started kindergarten, meaning he has a

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Speaker 1: lot of free time. He still cleans the house and

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Speaker 1: does grocery runs, but he also has hours and hours

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Speaker 1: of free time during the day. He got pissed off

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Speaker 1: that he had to watch the baby, even though it's

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Speaker 1: just for three to four hours in the morning, and

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Speaker 1: basically yelled at me one night, saying, I shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: to suffer just because your freeloading sister made a stupid

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Speaker 1: decision and got pregnant. Harsh, that's pretty that's pretty harsh.

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Speaker 2: But I mean, like, on the other hand, it isn't

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Speaker 2: his responsibility. It's not his responsibility. He said he didn't

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Speaker 2: want to do it. He made that clear.

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Speaker 1: It's a harsh truth.

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Speaker 2: It is a hard Yeah. In certain situations, you'll have

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Speaker 2: like a person say oh, yeah, let's do it and

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Speaker 2: then go back on the word. That's not the case here. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he was two op he's on a vision, guilted into

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Speaker 2: this agreement.

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Speaker 1: I think the husband, like, you got to give him

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Speaker 1: some slack here, they're in your guest house. Yes, they're

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Speaker 1: dealing with it. Great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she should not be expected to take care of

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Speaker 2: this baby when he never wanted.

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Speaker 1: To, Yeah, have a friend watch or pay for again

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Speaker 1: daycare or something like that, and went off on a

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Speaker 1: rant about the extra money we have to spend. I

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Speaker 1: tried to stay calm and reminded him that she's still

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Speaker 1: just eighteen and frankly, she works harder than he does.

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Speaker 2: It's not how you win a life.

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Speaker 1: No, it would be a different situation if we couldn't

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Speaker 1: afford it and she wasn't showing any initiative. But that

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Speaker 1: isn't the case. She takes college classes, works six nights

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Speaker 1: a week and still is a great mom to her son.

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Speaker 1: She has shown us nothing but gratitude and even found

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Speaker 1: time in her schedule to make my life husband a

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Speaker 1: cake for his birthday.

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Speaker 2: It's nice, but again still not his like responsibility.

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Speaker 1: Kicking her out and making her fend for herself would

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Speaker 1: be stupid. She wouldn't be able to stay in school,

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Speaker 1: she'd be barely scraping by to pay rent in some

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Speaker 1: crappy apartment, and she would be stuck barely staying afloat

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Speaker 1: for her son's whole childhood. It may cost us a

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Speaker 1: bit more time and money now, but when she gets

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Speaker 1: her degree, finds a stable job, and can move to

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Speaker 1: a decent place where she doesn't have to worry about

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Speaker 1: getting her son his next meal, it would have been

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Speaker 1: a small sacrifice.

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Speaker 2: I don't think necessarily the answer is kick her out,

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Speaker 2: And I don't even think the husband is saying that

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Speaker 2: because it doesn't seem like he cared until he had

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Speaker 2: to watch the baby. Yeah, which is like maybe sitting

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Speaker 2: every day three four hours.

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Speaker 1: Plus on top of the other kids and broceries, like

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Speaker 1: he's a stay at home dead.

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Speaker 2: There are responsibilities that go into it, and it is

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Speaker 2: a lot of work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and don't say she does more than you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so rude. That's incredibly dismissive of what he's doing.

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Speaker 1: He couldn't see that, though, and kept on arguing about

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Speaker 1: the money and the time he has to spend taking

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Speaker 1: care of a baby that isn't his. I went off

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Speaker 1: and said something along the lines of she's my sister

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Speaker 1: and it's my money. I'll spend it how I want.

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Speaker 1: And if you're going to be too much of a

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Speaker 1: child to help out for a few hours a day,

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Speaker 1: then I'll just use said money to hire a nanny

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Speaker 1: who might actually care about my family.

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Speaker 2: So messed up, so messed up when you've made an agreement.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, if we're swapping the genders of this story,

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Speaker 2: if you know a man had said that to a woman, oh,

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Speaker 2: it's my money, like they had made an agreement where

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Speaker 2: she was like a stay at home mom or something,

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Speaker 2: and then he went, it's my money. I get to

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Speaker 2: decide how I get to use it. That is kind

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Speaker 2: of like financially manipulative one hundred percent when you've made

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Speaker 2: an agreement, and emotionally manipulative and emotionally manipulative like oh,

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Speaker 2: you have to do it my way or I'm going

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Speaker 2: to use the money that I'm bringing in. Even though

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Speaker 2: we said you would be a stay at home dad

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Speaker 2: so we could. Yeah, someone said he literally gave up

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Speaker 2: his career to be a stay at home dad. He

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Speaker 2: made a sacrifice for the kids.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't need to make another sacrifice.

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Speaker 2: For someone else's kids. Hope he's being an a whole.

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Speaker 1: He was stunned, as I've never want to raise my

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Speaker 1: voice and generally try to avoid conflict. Then he made

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Speaker 1: a bit big stink about how I don't appreciate it

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Speaker 1: seems like you don't and if I cared about the

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Speaker 1: life we've built together, that I would be sacrificing it

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Speaker 1: for some teenage girl I barely.

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Speaker 2: Know which I don't fully agree with that line.

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Speaker 1: Now we're both mad, and for the last couple of days,

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Speaker 1: neither one of us have spoken to each other very

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Speaker 1: much unless we have to. I've been dropping off Daniel

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Speaker 1: at my friends my friend Ashley's house on my way

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Speaker 1: to work, and Jenna has been picking him up after

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Speaker 1: classes because my husband refuses to watch him. How can

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Speaker 1: I fix this situation and change my husband's mind? Kicking

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Speaker 1: Jenna out isn't something I'm willing to do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 1: It's not his problem.

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Speaker 2: It's truly not his problem. Yeah. I think the thing

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Speaker 2: is that if you have the money to spend on

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Speaker 2: a nanny, then why didn't you bring up that as

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Speaker 2: like a why did you expect your husband to watch

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Speaker 2: this kid? There should have just been way more conversations

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Speaker 2: about what the arrangement would be and what was expected

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Speaker 2: from him, so that he could say, no, I don't

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Speaker 2: want to do that. But let's see this update.

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Speaker 1: Edit to respond to the most common concerns. I agree

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Speaker 1: what I said about the money was out of line,

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Speaker 1: and I will a paul him for that. It's his

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Speaker 1: money as much as mine. Those of you saying it's

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Speaker 1: my sister's own fault she got pregnant and didn't get

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Speaker 1: an a portion should not speak on things you don't

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Speaker 1: know about unless you were there the night she got pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Don't assume that it was all her fault. I don't

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Speaker 1: think she exactly gave consent, and we live in a

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Speaker 1: state where getting a termination was not an option, especially

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Speaker 1: as late in her pregnancy as she was when she

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Speaker 1: found out. My main problem was the fact that he

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Speaker 1: seemed unwilling to meet in the middle. He doesn't have

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Speaker 1: a job and spends most of his time just lounging

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Speaker 1: while the girls are at school. He doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: help with the baby, or go back to work or

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Speaker 1: get a nanny, and I was frustrated he didn't seem

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Speaker 1: to be willing to compromise on any of these things.

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Speaker 1: When I said I guilted him into agreeing, that was

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Speaker 1: a poor choice of words. I just explained to him

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Speaker 1: that she had nowhere else to go and if we

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Speaker 1: didn't help, I was worried she and her son may

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Speaker 1: be put in an unsafe situation. You know it is

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Speaker 1: a safe situation. You can join us live on YouTube

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Speaker 1: every weekday at three pm PST. Just tap our profile

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Speaker 1: pap bit our little segues. I'm going to try and

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Speaker 1: make time to talk to the both of them later

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Speaker 1: about the situation, and I'll make sure that I take

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Speaker 1: both of their feelings into consideration, as things obviously can't

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Speaker 1: stay the way they are now. I appreciate the feedback,

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Speaker 1: as harsh as it was to hear, except that I'm

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Speaker 1: the one in the wrong here.

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Speaker 2: Good.

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Speaker 1: I'll try to stop being too controlling.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean she's recognizing it, but still is saying, oh,

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Speaker 2: he doesn't do that much, yeah, which is it's still

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Speaker 2: not seeing what he does for the family.

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Speaker 1: That's not fair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it sounds like he's against the nanny.

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Speaker 2: But I wonder if he would have been so against

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Speaker 2: it if they had planned it out more in the

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Speaker 2: beginning and said, Okay, you don't want to be involved

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Speaker 2: in the baby raising, then let's get a nanny. Maybe

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Speaker 2: he would have said yes.

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Speaker 1: Then they also didn't know how long this sister was

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Speaker 1: going to be there.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 1: If you said my sister could stay with us for

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Speaker 1: a short time.

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Speaker 2: What is that?

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Speaker 1: What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: They had to talk way more. When you're bringing in

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Speaker 2: a new person that one party doesn't really know, there's

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Speaker 2: a baby involved, you have to talk a lot about

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Speaker 2: what your expectations are.

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Speaker 1: And this is not paying any It wasn't said in

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Speaker 1: the story, but she's probably not paying any rent.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't seem like it. Yeah, and maybe she can't afford to,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, So I.

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Speaker 1: Think what the sister said too is when Jenna gets

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Speaker 1: back on her feet, then we'll see. But why don't

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Speaker 1: you just give your sister some money? Mhm, help her

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Speaker 1: out there too. I know it's just that the kid needs.

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Speaker 2: Needs care, that is the issue. While she's at school.

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Speaker 2: I recorded my wife cheating on me, but I don't

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Speaker 2: know how to tell her.

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Speaker 1: I know, that's just scratching my head. I'm like, I know,

255
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Speaker 1: you're cheating on me. Yeah, that's it, that's it's.

256
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Speaker 2: A couple of weeks ago, I decided I wanted to

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Speaker 2: surprise my wife with a kid free night out. My

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Speaker 2: parents live about an hour and a half away from us,

259
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Speaker 2: and I arrange for the kids to stay with them

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Speaker 2: for the weekend. By the way, this comes from Lost

261
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Speaker 2: and Cheated on eight on the best udder updates for Usually,

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Speaker 2: when I go to my parents, I am gone until

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Speaker 2: later in the evening. We spend all day there and

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Speaker 2: leave around dinner time. This time, I was dropping the

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Speaker 2: kids off and immediately going home home so I could

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Speaker 2: surprise my wife and we could go out as soon

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Speaker 2: as possible. I had made reservations at a nice restaurant

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Speaker 2: and was hoping to go to a few places for

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Speaker 2: some drinks first. I left at eight thirty and was

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Speaker 2: back in her housing plan before twelve thirty. As I

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Speaker 2: pulled onto my street, I saw a truck parked in

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Speaker 2: front of my house. I did not recognize it. I

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Speaker 2: assumed it was someone seeing the neighbors, though, because it's

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Speaker 2: not that unusual for someone to park in front of

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Speaker 2: her house. I parked a few houses away, thinking I

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Speaker 2: would sneak into the house and surprise my wife. Instead

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Speaker 2: of pulling in the driveway and going in the garage,

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Speaker 2: I went in through a basement door. I was as

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Speaker 2: quiet as possible, but as soon as I walked in,

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Speaker 2: I heard her making sounds from the floor above. When

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Speaker 2: I first heard it, I thought she was just by herself,

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Speaker 2: maybe having some personal time. I didn't want to interrupt

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Speaker 2: her privacy and embarrass her, so I was going to

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Speaker 2: go back to my car and just go in the

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00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,960
Speaker 2: garage so she would know I was home. Then I

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00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,000
Speaker 2: heard a man's voice. I immediately felt sick. My heart

287
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,360
Speaker 2: felt like it was going to blowed out of my chest.

288
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Speaker 2: It is hard to describe how I felt in this moment.

289
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Speaker 2: I decided to go upstairs. I had no desire to

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Speaker 2: confront them. I just wanted to see what was going on.

291
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Speaker 2: I moved slowly and quietly and went up the stairs.

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Speaker 2: It's like a horror movie. The door was halfway open,

293
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Speaker 2: the kitchen was empty, but I could tell they were

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Speaker 2: in the living room. It was obvious what was going

295
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Speaker 2: on at this point by the sounds. There was no

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Speaker 2: way for me to look in the living room without

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Speaker 2: them seeing me. I pulled out my phone and opened

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Speaker 2: my camera app. I put my phone just around the

299
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Speaker 2: corner of a wall. Why are you recording them?

300
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Speaker 1: That's so weird.

301
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,120
Speaker 2: This part is so hard to write. I could see

302
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Speaker 2: my wife with a man I didn't recognize. I won't

303
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,880
Speaker 2: go into detail on what they were doing, but I

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00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:47,520
Speaker 2: think you can figure it out. I started recording it.

305
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,880
Speaker 2: I was thinking that I needed a record of it

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Speaker 2: for whatever I decided to do in the future. I

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00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,400
Speaker 2: don't think so. I just stood there in my kitchen

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Speaker 2: watching this all unfold on my phone screen. I felt

309
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Speaker 2: like I could just scream at any moment. For some reason,

310
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Speaker 2: I just froze completely. This went on for several minutes.

311
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Speaker 2: She finally jumped off of him and made a comment

312
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Speaker 2: about going to the bedroom, and they went upstairs. She

313
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Speaker 2: even made a comment about how much time they had left.

314
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Speaker 1: Yikes.

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Speaker 2: I walked into the living room and found the guy's pants.

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Speaker 2: I took his wallet out and took a picture of

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Speaker 2: his driver's license. I know his name and his address,

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Speaker 2: now I've never met him. I have no idea how

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Speaker 2: my wife knows him. I left the house the same

320
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Speaker 2: way I entered. I went back to my car and cried,

321
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Speaker 2: like the pathetic man I am. I decided to watch

322
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Speaker 2: the video to make sure it recorded. I watched it all.

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Speaker 1: Dude, dude, dude, you're kind of like abusing yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're putting yourself through it over and over. Oh.

325
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Speaker 2: I'll spare the details, but I sat in my car

326
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Speaker 2: for at least half an hour. I couldn't drive to

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Speaker 2: my parents and get the kids, as I would have

328
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Speaker 2: to explain why. I decided that I would pull into

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Speaker 2: the driveway, open the garage, and just pretend like I

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Speaker 2: was there to surprise her. I took my time getting

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Speaker 2: into the house. I made a lot of noise. When

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Speaker 2: I saw her, she would very flustered, asking me why

333
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Speaker 2: I was home, et cetera. She was in a robe

334
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,240
Speaker 2: and said she was just getting ready for a bath.

335
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Speaker 2: Ou I told her about my plans, and she seemed excited.

336
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Speaker 2: She poured us both a glass of wine and said

337
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,360
Speaker 2: we should pregame before getting ready. I don't think I

338
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,720
Speaker 2: talked much. Really, she took me into the living room.

339
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:21,120
Speaker 2: I'm not proud of what I let happen. I could

340
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,320
Speaker 2: faintly see the guy sneaking downstairs and going to the

341
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,280
Speaker 2: basement stairs, but I didn't say or do anything. I

342
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,080
Speaker 2: just let my wife continue doing what she was doing

343
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Speaker 2: to me. Since that day, I have watched the video

344
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,400
Speaker 2: of her repeatedly. I can't bring myself to make any

345
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,920
Speaker 2: decisions on what I should do next. She seems to

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00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,160
Speaker 2: know something is wrong with me, because she's asked a

347
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 2: few times if I'm okay. I feel worthless, and every

348
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,720
Speaker 2: time I hit a low point, I watched that video again.

349
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,320
Speaker 2: I feel like I've watched it at least ten times

350
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 2: a day since I caught them.

351
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Speaker 1: Dude, why are you doing that to yourself?

352
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,120
Speaker 2: Stop? Stop?

353
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:57,960
Speaker 1: Just call her out.

354
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 2: Call her out, please yourself. I don't know why you're

355
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,920
Speaker 2: putting yourself through this. Yeah, there is an update, but

356
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,680
Speaker 2: divorce her, like you have the proof.

357
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,680
Speaker 1: You have the proof, but maybe he doesn't want a divorce.

358
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Speaker 1: I don't know.

359
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. They have kids. Oh, this is

360
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,160
Speaker 2: an update. I stopped watching the video after reading all

361
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,520
Speaker 2: the comments on my first post, it has helped clear

362
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 2: my mind and allowed me to focus on next steps.

363
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,520
Speaker 2: This has allowed me to mostly be back to my

364
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,840
Speaker 2: normal self for both my kids and my job. I've

365
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,400
Speaker 2: gone through my wife's phone and found nothing. I've searched

366
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,960
Speaker 2: the guy's name from the driver's license. I figured out

367
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,720
Speaker 2: how they met. He's a landscaper. She was calling some

368
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,560
Speaker 2: a few months ago to clean up her yard and

369
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,760
Speaker 2: ended up getting some mulching and cleanup done.

370
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,360
Speaker 1: Uh huh, yeah that's what it was.

371
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,480
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's why she was gone. I've driven past

372
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,880
Speaker 2: his house many times. I think he is single, as

373
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 2: I couldn't find any records of other people living at

374
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,360
Speaker 2: that address. I've only seen a truck parked in the

375
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,800
Speaker 2: driveway when I have driven by. I've been avoiding my

376
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,720
Speaker 2: wife after the kids are in bed to try to

377
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,280
Speaker 2: limit one on one time. I don't want any awkward

378
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,720
Speaker 2: conversations and I also don't want to have spicy sleep.

379
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 2: I have mostly been successful with this, but did slip

380
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,680
Speaker 2: up one night when I had a little too much

381
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,240
Speaker 2: to drink. I hated myself for it the next day.

382
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,440
Speaker 2: I don't believe she has seen him since the day

383
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,840
Speaker 2: I caught them. I've been paying attention anytime she's gone.

384
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,080
Speaker 2: I obviously can't track her one hundred percent. I've read

385
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,240
Speaker 2: about Apple air tags, but I use Android.

386
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 1: What is he doing? You're making this so much harder.

387
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,120
Speaker 1: You already have the proof, you already know the facts,

388
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,880
Speaker 1: but you're just like, if she does it again, Yeah.

389
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,840
Speaker 2: I don't understand what you're waiting for.

390
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,640
Speaker 1: You're kind of like defending her.

391
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,560
Speaker 2: It feels like, Oh, he's just in this state of

392
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 2: shock and he's just gonna keep cruising until something kind

393
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:36,720
Speaker 2: of pulls him out.

394
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 1: He's making it very obvious that something has happening.

395
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,800
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm guessing any app I would put on her

396
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,880
Speaker 2: phone maybe discovered. I have installed the doorbell camera on

397
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 2: her house, though, so I can always see the street.

398
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,720
Speaker 2: When I did this, my wife didn't say anything. We

399
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,880
Speaker 2: continue to do things as a family as we normally would.

400
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,880
Speaker 2: I have done my best to not let her know

401
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 2: what I know and to continue to be a good

402
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,760
Speaker 2: dad to my kids. So the weird thing I'm dealing

403
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,480
Speaker 2: with now is that she's planned a night out with

404
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 2: a friend for drinks. It's a friend from work, so

405
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 2: I don't know her at all, and I'm not connected

406
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,399
Speaker 2: with this person on social media. When she told me

407
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,440
Speaker 2: I made up some excuse about work and said I

408
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 2: couldn't watch the kids, she ended up getting our neighbor

409
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,919
Speaker 2: to agree to babysit. Now I'm debating if I should

410
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,080
Speaker 2: follow her to really see if she's meeting her friend

411
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 2: or a guy. It seems like I'm heading towards a

412
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:21,400
Speaker 2: confrontation either way when I just want everything to go back.

413
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to leave my house soon and pretend to

414
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,639
Speaker 2: be going to work. I'll probably just go to a

415
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,919
Speaker 2: bar to kill time until I can drive by the

416
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,199
Speaker 2: place she's supposed to be going to. I'm filled with

417
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,360
Speaker 2: effing dread about all of this. I just don't understand why. Ope,

418
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 2: he's like, I need to get more proof. You already

419
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 2: know she cheated on you. Why do you need to

420
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:38,360
Speaker 2: track her.

421
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,119
Speaker 1: Here's also the thing he's making it worse for the

422
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,600
Speaker 1: relationship and the family.

423
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 2: Yes, for the kids. There are kids involved in this.

424
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 1: You're lying to yourself, you're lying to her, You're lying

425
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,359
Speaker 1: to the kids. This should have been resolved or at

426
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 1: least confronted in the beginning.

427
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 2: In the beginning, it's just you're making it so much harder.

428
00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,080
Speaker 2: Update two. I've had so many messages asking how oh

429
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 2: I am doing that, I felt I should probably post

430
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 2: an update. On the night when she was going out

431
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 2: with her friend, I still pretended I had work and

432
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,399
Speaker 2: left the house after the babysitter arrived. I went to

433
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 2: a bar and had a few drinks. Then I drove

434
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,800
Speaker 2: over to the restaurant she said she was going to.

435
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 2: I saw her car in the parking lot. I'm not

436
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,199
Speaker 2: gonna lie. I was on edge and incredibly nervous, despite

437
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 2: the drinks earlier. I was so worried I would walk

438
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,359
Speaker 2: in and see her with that guy.

439
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,000
Speaker 1: I think he's into this. I think he likes to

440
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 1: like the detective. I think he likes like kind of

441
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 1: like the the trauma detective right here.

442
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 2: I was hoping to sneak in and get a look

443
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 2: without being seen, but that failed miserably. She saw me

444
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 2: as soon as I walked in the door. She was

445
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,040
Speaker 2: with her friend and not the guy. We had that

446
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,159
Speaker 2: what are you doing here? I thought you were working?

447
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,119
Speaker 2: Expected conversation. I told her work ended early, so I

448
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 2: wanted to stop by to say hi. Since we had

449
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 2: a babysitter. I left after a couple drinks and went

450
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,080
Speaker 2: home to relieve the sitter. So many of you have

451
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 2: commented on my last posts that I need to confront her, Yes,

452
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,480
Speaker 2: and I decided in that moment that I would. I

453
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,120
Speaker 2: couldn't hold it in any longer. I got the kids

454
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,199
Speaker 2: to bed and waited for her to come home. I

455
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 2: watched the video again.

456
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 1: Dude, just stop.

457
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:11,440
Speaker 2: To remind myself of what happened. You already know what happened.

458
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 2: When she got home, she was surprised I was still

459
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 2: up and apparently could tell from the way I looked

460
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 2: that something was wrong. I poured it all out on her.

461
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,399
Speaker 2: It probably wasn't fair of me. I didn't even let

462
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,640
Speaker 2: her sit down. I told her everything. I played part

463
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 2: of the video to show her what I saw. I

464
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,400
Speaker 2: called her some harsh names, said she ruined our lives.

465
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 2: In that moment, I was incredibly angry. She was very upset,

466
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 2: heavily crying and shaking. She told me how terrible she

467
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 2: felt about everything that happened. I told her she had

468
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,639
Speaker 2: to tell me everything that happened with that guy, and

469
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,400
Speaker 2: she laid it all out. She cheated on me twice

470
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 2: with him after the time I saw them. She cut

471
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 2: things off because she knew it was wrong and she

472
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,919
Speaker 2: loves me. That's not how love works. I asked her

473
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,239
Speaker 2: for proof, but she said she had already deleted and

474
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,440
Speaker 2: blocked him on her phone, Facebook and Instagram. She did

475
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 2: tell me that he's single and knew she was married.

476
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,160
Speaker 2: She asked me to delete the video, but I refused.

477
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 2: She asked me why, and I really didn't have any

478
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 2: other reason other than I felt I needed to hold

479
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,639
Speaker 2: on to it for now. She got a little angry

480
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,720
Speaker 2: at that and asked if I was keeping it to

481
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:14,399
Speaker 2: watch it again.

482
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,680
Speaker 1: Probably, bro, you've been watching it.

483
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 2: She's been watching it. He's been binge watching it.

484
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 1: It's just oh man.

485
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 2: It was very late at this point, so we decided

486
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 2: to go to bed and talk more the next day,

487
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 2: when we had more time to think. She continued to

488
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 2: apologize repeatedly for what she did. We slept separately that night.

489
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 2: Over the next few days, things between us seemed better.

490
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 2: I felt some relief that it was all out in

491
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 2: the open, and we continued to talk, and it feels

492
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 2: like we're on the path to staying together and moving

493
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 2: past this out. I don't understand this, I don't get

494
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 2: this relationship he just wants to put himself through pain,

495
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,679
Speaker 2: and I think, yeah, mast masochist. I have made it

496
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,199
Speaker 2: clear that she is never to see or talk to

497
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 2: that guy again. While things feel like they are improving,

498
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 2: I am still struggling to trust her. Worse yet is

499
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 2: that I have a trip coming up from work and

500
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,120
Speaker 2: I will be gone for a few days. I told

501
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 2: her that I'm not comfortable with leaving right now, but

502
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,879
Speaker 2: I can't skip this trip. My boss made it clear

503
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,119
Speaker 2: that I needed. She said I could put cameras up

504
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,439
Speaker 2: in the house to keep an eye on her if

505
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 2: it would make me feel better. Sadly, I may do that.

506
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,920
Speaker 2: I'll be gone for at least three days. And by

507
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 2: the way, you can join us live every weekday at

508
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: three PMPST. Just tap her profile. Overall, things are okay.

509
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 2: Kids are oblivious that anything is going on, and it

510
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,360
Speaker 2: seems that slowly my wife and I will eventually get

511
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 2: back to normal. I hope so at least. I'm a

512
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 2: little ashamed to admit that I have watched the video

513
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 2: a few times since all of this.

514
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 1: A few that's what he calls a few times.

515
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 2: I'm thinking that I should probably delete it so it's

516
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 2: gone for my life. I don't know what's wrong with me.

517
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 2: You just like reliving the pain and Okay. The thing

518
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,919
Speaker 2: is that he doesn't even have the excuse of, oh,

519
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 2: I want to keep it in case we divorce or

520
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 2: because I want a divorce. He's just keeping it to

521
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 2: put it like he just wants to go through it

522
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 2: over and over and over again.

523
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 1: It seems like he's not even angry at his wife.

524
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 2: It's weird. It's a very weird dynamic.

525
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 3: I told my husband I'd forgive him if he cheated,

526
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 3: but now I'm worried that he already did.

527
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 4: Damn that sucks.

528
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 3: I have been insecure and have been open with my

529
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 3: husband about how I've been feeling. We've had a second

530
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 3: child and have been struggling with different parts of the

531
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 3: postpartum journey sleep deprivation, weight changes, schedules, weaning, and have

532
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 3: been feeling insecure once again. The beginning of motherhood literally

533
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 3: still at the hospital and raw from birth began with

534
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:37,719
Speaker 3: another woman entering our space and asking to take him away,

535
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 3: even before any family of ours visiting. So yeah, I've

536
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,199
Speaker 3: been insecure, but I'm not apologizing for how I felt

537
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 3: and acknowledged I have a lot of internal work to

538
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 3: do as a barner individual and parent. Regardless, my post

539
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 3: was asking how do I get over it? And therapy

540
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 3: has been the suggestion. Banks Again, by the way, this

541
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 3: from you slash deleted account on the r slash okay

542
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 3: storytime subreddit. A few years ago, my husband worked with

543
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,479
Speaker 3: a VM and ees foreign national who he kind of

544
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 3: mentored at work and trained her. She seems sweet and

545
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 3: I never felt threatened. Then she started sending him home

546
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,159
Speaker 3: with boxes of fruit, purchased some food for Thanksgiving and

547
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 3: send it home with him, would call him past midnight

548
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 3: from Vietnam.

549
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 2: Well, maybe they just have different times.

550
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 3: To talk to her about her parents, et cetera. I

551
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 3: called him out as she is married and I was

552
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 3: pregnant with our first child at that time. He told

553
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 3: me he wasn't close to her husband because they only

554
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 3: married for papers and even lived in separate apartments. Well,

555
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 3: the final straw of doubt was when she showed up

556
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 3: at the hospital the day after I gave birth to

557
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,919
Speaker 3: our child. She was dressed in a full gallic gown

558
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 3: due to a work function for them that day, and

559
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 3: asked my husband in front of me if he wanted

560
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 3: to be her date that.

561
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 2: Night for the event, since I couldn't go anywhere the

562
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 2: day she had a baby.

563
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,959
Speaker 4: Okay, you're the husband, what's your answer?

564
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:15,879
Speaker 3: No? Okay, Livid is a mild description of what I felt.

565
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 4: He isn't going anywhere with you.

566
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 3: We just had our baby blurred out of my mind,

567
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 3: and my husband had a brief look of disbelief in

568
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 3: his face, and he too told her no because he

569
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 3: was on paternity leave and was staying with his wife

570
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 3: and newborn.

571
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 2: Thank God.

572
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 3: It's been five years since then, and I can't shake

573
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 3: the feeling that he cheated on me while I was pregnant.

574
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:42,640
Speaker 3: It's been hard to reconcile his serious demeanor and gentleman

575
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 3: ways with the evidence that there may have been something.

576
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 3: He swears she's just friendly and didn't have any friends

577
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 3: and maybe a cultural difference. Well, we had a date

578
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 3: night a few months ago in which an ineborated stay.

579
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 4: I told him that.

580
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 3: If he cheated on me, i'd him I decay what

581
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 3: I was expecting from that, and I guess I may

582
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 3: not have meant it, because when he just chuckled and

583
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 3: laughed it off, he did not deny it.

584
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 2: Okay, but I'm just imagining she goes, if you cheat

585
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 2: on me, I still love you, and he's like, okay, baby, Okay,

586
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 2: that's what I'm imagining.

587
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 3: He seems like a gentleman league guy. I'm scared to

588
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 3: compare me to this guy because he might do something crazy.

589
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,640
Speaker 3: But right now it seems like this is like huh no.

590
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 2: Because I feel like if she goes, if you cheat

591
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 2: on me, I'd still love you, and he goes, I

592
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 2: never cheat on you. I would never do that. That

593
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 2: would be so much more suspicious.

594
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 4: Is there any right way to answer that question?

595
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 2: No, because she's trying to like get him.

596
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 3: I've been thinking of it as a hypothetical since these

597
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 3: past five years, and now it's turned into a real

598
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,679
Speaker 3: possibility if.

599
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 2: There's any proof here. Also, she like lives in Vietnam.

600
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 3: I keep having dreams where he's cheating with coworkers and

601
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 3: fothering a child, et cetera. Not knowing is eating at me.

602
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 3: But if I keep prodding at him about it, I'm

603
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,959
Speaker 3: my as well divorce. What should I do to let

604
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 3: it go and believe him? I definitely think therapy, Yeah,

605
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 3: Miss Jaberts's therapy.

606
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 4: That's what everybody has been saying.

607
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 2: I think you have to go to therapy.

608
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 3: Other than therapy, is there anything we could do or

609
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 3: any suggestions we could give?

610
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 2: I think communication is always helpful. However, if you were

611
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 2: to just start, I mean, like, right now, all of

612
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: your thoughts are based off insecurity, and I think if

613
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 2: you were to communicate, you might just end up accusing him.

614
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 3: If I was the husband, would I'd be like, you

615
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 3: can look through my phone? Would that help?

616
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 2: I think it would help. I think that would be

617
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 2: nice of him. But I honestly think right now she

618
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 2: doesn't have trust for him, which is not fair to

619
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 2: him if he hasn't done anything, which it seems like

620
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 2: he hasn't, Like she has literally no proof that he's

621
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 2: done anything. So I do think therapy is needed, okun

622
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 2: And then maybe you know once she works through it,

623
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 2: like the therapist can tell her, hey, this is how

624
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 2: you need to reproach this conversation to your husband. I

625
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 2: like that.

626
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,159
Speaker 4: But we have an update. Thank you all for the feedback.

627
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 3: I needed to get it out of my system and

628
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 3: just process through it from different perspectives because even though

629
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 3: it has been discussed, it still weighs on me to

630
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 3: clarify it was addressed when I was postpartum, and he

631
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 3: did not cheat. After some thought, it's the hospital event

632
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 3: that bothered me the most at the start of our

633
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 3: parenthood chapter. Not knowing where she was coming from when

634
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 3: asking my husband to be her date was when I

635
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 3: was in my most vulnerable state.

636
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 2: Very weird on her. But it doesn't necessarily mean that

637
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 2: your husband is cheating up.

638
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, no, And if that was the only

639
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 3: thing that bothered you, his response should be enough reassurance.

640
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. I also think this because this was five years ago.

641
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 4: Right, this was five years ago.

642
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 3: She's having the same feelings because they're having their second kids,

643
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 3: so these feelings are coming back.

644
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 2: The thing is that she could have brought it up

645
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 2: to him at that point and said, hey, that made

646
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: me really uncomfortable when she came in, Can you say

647
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 2: up some boundaries with her? If she had done it,

648
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 2: then totally could have like communicate with him and it

649
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 2: would have been fine without her being necessarily overly insecure.

650
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 2: But now it's five years later and she's been holding

651
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 2: on to this when she should have been talking to him.

652
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:17,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, she might, or he might be just misunderstanding all

653
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 3: the women in his life.

654
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 4: Socrates says, he's just like what do they want remy,

655
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 4: I'm just a guy.

656
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, Dutch Justsana says, is she even still part of

657
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: their lives? That's a great point. Is she even like

658
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 2: a problem anymore?

659
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 3: Is she still a coworker? We have a few real

660
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 3: little comments here. Water Troup Girl says, maybe he laughed

661
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 3: it off, because that's a weird thing to say. My

662
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 3: partner said that to me in a drug and say

663
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 3: I'd be awkward af and throne. Bear in mind, I

664
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 3: would never chat. But like, what on earth? Girl, did

665
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,479
Speaker 3: you even mean those words?

666
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 4: Yeah?

667
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 3: And probably in that state she probably didn't like get

668
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 3: a good read on his body language.

669
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't really get a super good read, Rogers says,

670
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 2: didn't They just say they had talked it out during

671
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 2: her postpartum time, which in that case, why is she

672
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 2: still holding on to this?

673
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 5: Yeah?

674
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: Definitely therapy.

675
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 3: Maybe go to some counseling sessions or something and try

676
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 3: to work it out if you really want to press

677
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 3: us further, and what it will mean for you and

678
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 3: your relationship if he has you did personally, I'd need

679
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 3: to know. I wouldn't be able to leave it alone,

680
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,719
Speaker 3: but I wouldn't have awaited five years.

681
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 4: Maybe ignorance is bliss. I don't know.

682
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, it does feel like a really odd thing to say.

683
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 3: I'd be so shocked and awkward if someone said it

684
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 3: to me then, when they were sober, I'd probably be

685
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 3: fuming that they've thought for five years that I am

686
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 3: a cheater when I'd never I'd be really defensive. My

687
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 3: partner once said they'd raise a baby with me that

688
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 3: came from cheating. I was really thrown, having never even

689
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 3: considered cheating. It felt like a very random and strange

690
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 3: thing to offer me. Sounds like they went through the

691
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 3: same thing and.

692
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 2: That was their reaction and they were like, that was weird.

693
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 4: I would never do such a thing.

694
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 3: Another comment interested in Many one sixty two says, also,

695
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 3: so at no point in any of this as her

696
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 3: husband shown any behavior that should make her even think

697
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 3: he was cheating.

698
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 2: Truly, it's all been this girl, and he doesn't seem

699
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 2: like he's reciprocating he was, or like was reciprocating because

700
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 2: this is five years ago. Any of the behavior.

701
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's just being a gentleman dude. He never went

702
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 3: off with her alone or anything like that. She never

703
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 3: found inappropriate text messages or anything like that. He did

704
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 3: not leave her to go to some party with the girl,

705
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 3: so I don't really know what he was supposed to

706
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 3: have done to indicate any of that. I mean, if

707
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 3: you work closely with someone, you were going to establish

708
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 3: some kind of friendship, and you could establish a friendship

709
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 3: with us if you join us live every weekday at

710
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 3: three PMPST just tap our profile.

711
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 4: From what it.

712
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 3: Sounds like, he has never done anything to indicate he

713
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 3: could cheat or even would cheat. And I think that

714
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 3: if I were in this situation, I would have laughed

715
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 3: about it as well. It's so random, and you tend

716
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 3: to laugh at people crazy random things when they're drunk.

717
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,479
Speaker 3: I think she needs to let it go. There's nothing

718
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 3: to indicate that he has cheated, and I think her

719
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 3: continuing to push it isn't going to do any good.

720
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 3: It's almost like she wants that to be her answer

721
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 3: to justify oliver worries. But how can he prove something

722
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 3: never happened. That's a really good point. She wants to

723
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 3: justify this as happening. Maybe look into that. That would

724
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 3: be the first question I'd ask in therapy session.

725
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 2: I actually have a question going back to the beginning

726
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 2: of the story.

727
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 4: Yes, I would raise a child if it was from

728
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 4: someone else.

729
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 2: Now, well, the part when she said I'm concerned because

730
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 2: he's been talking to her at two am? Do we

731
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 2: know was the wording he was responding at two am?

732
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 2: It seems like she was in Vietnam at that point.

733
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 3: It seems like all of her evidence she has is

734
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 3: shaky like that. Yeah, it doesn't seem very I don't know.

735
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 3: That's confusing. Was she even.

736
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, or was she just texting him at two am

737
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 2: because she was in a time zone. Yeah, all a

738
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 2: little bit weird. I don't think there's any evidence of

739
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 2: him cheating, and I think you have to talked to him.

740
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I talked to him.

741
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 3: Couples maybe definitely therapy for you, and then if it

742
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 3: is really bothering you that much, couple therapy.

743
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, but nothing to divorce.

744
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 2: I became a stay at home dad for our kids,

745
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 2: and now I feel like my wife is cheating on me.

746
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 2: That's tragic.

747
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 4: Wow.

748
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 2: Just here to get straight to the point. My wife

749
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 2: and I have been married since we were twenty five.

750
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 2: We are thirty eight, wow, thirteen years. We met in college,

751
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 2: got married, and everything has been great. We both graduated,

752
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 2: got good jobs, and started our lives together. Me and

753
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: my wife both made good money, so money was never

754
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 2: an issue for us. My wife worked for dad small business. Well,

755
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 2: I worked for a very large company. After a few years,

756
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 2: my boss left the company out of nowhere and they

757
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 2: needed someone to take over. The only person who knew

758
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 2: how to run the department wh is me. This guy,

759
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: this guy right the here's got two thumbs and can

760
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 2: run the department over here. So I got a major

761
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 2: pay jump, better bonus, better benefits. Let's go, baby, the works.

762
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 2: So at twenty eight, I was probably making three times

763
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 2: plus more than my wife, Okay, brag. At twenty eight,

764
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 2: the same year my wife gave birth to our first daughter.

765
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 2: Then two years later or second, my wife, due to

766
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 2: working for her father, was able to be more diverse

767
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 2: in working well. Around five years ago, my father in

768
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: law passed away unexpectedly. That left my mother in law

769
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 2: and wife in a hard position sell the company or

770
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 2: run it themselves. Yeah, my mother in law had no

771
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 2: clue how to run it, so my wife said she

772
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 2: would do it.

773
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 5: Wow, it's interesting that like kind of same yeah situation

774
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 5: with both people. They're like having to like run big

775
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 5: things out of the blow Yeah.

776
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 2: You guys are having to step up.

777
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 5: It's weird step up.

778
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 2: After my wife took the company, it did just as

779
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 2: well as when her father ran it. Wow, that's I mean,

780
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 2: that's really hard to do.

781
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, come over.

782
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and be able to and still get it to function.

783
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 2: With that being said, my wife got a huge pay increase,

784
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 2: more than me. Oh brag. I was proud of her.

785
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 2: Going from a basic worker to running a whole company

786
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 2: isn't easy. Anyway, our daughters started suffering from not seeing

787
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 2: their parents. Me and my wife discussed one of us

788
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 2: staying home. She said, the company you work for will

789
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 2: be fine without you. Mine could go under. I agreed,

790
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: so I quit my job and became a stay at

791
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 2: home dad slash husband. I do everything. I make sure

792
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,240
Speaker 2: the girls are taken care of. I cook, clean, fix things,

793
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 2: make sure errand's are run, you name it. I pamper

794
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 2: my wife when she gets home from working. This went

795
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: well for a while until about a year ago.

796
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 5: What happened to me.

797
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 2: My wife was always very appreciative of what I did

798
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 2: and loved it. She has become very mean lately, like

799
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 2: just saying things like do you do any or how

800
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 2: about you work for real. What out of the blue,

801
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 2: that's so incredibly rude. After they've had a discussion about

802
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 2: the roles that they need to.

803
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,720
Speaker 5: Play, After he sacrificed his career to support his family,

804
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 5: you asked him.

805
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 2: To sacrifice it. I work my butt every day making

806
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 2: sure you don't have to lift a finger when you

807
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,720
Speaker 2: get home at all. Also, I had a real job,

808
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,720
Speaker 2: but I quit to raise and take care of the girls.

809
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: Are home, and you not to mention my wife is

810
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:32,720
Speaker 2: very schmextual, always has been. She's quit initiating spicy sleep

811
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 2: and when I ask, she is never in the mood.

812
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 2: That was very odd. Eventually I quit trying. I just

813
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 2: thought with all the pandemic crap and everything else, she

814
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 2: was just getting very stressed and it was getting to her.

815
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 2: I started trying harder to make her happy. Nothing ever worked.

816
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 5: Something's going Yeah, at.

817
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 2: This point, if I noticed, like the behavior was shifting

818
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 2: and there was like a problem. I don't know if

819
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 2: Opie hasn't said whether or not he did this, but

820
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 2: I think you have a conversation. You say hey, yeah,

821
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 2: especially during the pandemic, when you're in close quarters and stuff,

822
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 2: say like hey, I'm doing this, this and this I

823
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 2: just need some support. And I've noticed that you've been

824
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,359
Speaker 2: kind of very critical of me, and I think that

825
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 2: needs to change or something needs to change.

826
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 5: Or it would just be like, hey, I quit my

827
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 5: job with your request to support our family, and you

828
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 5: were appreciative, and now you're like blaming or insulting me.

829
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 5: What's going I would like just be curious, what's going on?

830
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 5: What's going on here?

831
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 2: Last weekend, my oldest has a softball game, so I

832
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 2: get everything ready and we go. During the game, I

833
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 2: wanted to take a video for my mom and dad,

834
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 2: since they live in another state and don't get to

835
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 2: see my daughters that often. I forgot my phone, so

836
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 2: I asked my wife I could see hers.

837
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 5: What's going to be honest, she.

838
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: Had been attached to it all day, so it would

839
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,320
Speaker 2: be good for her to get off of it. Anyway.

840
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 2: She hands it to me and says she's going to

841
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 2: get a drink at a snack. She gets up. I

842
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 2: video my daughter. When a message comes up on some app,

843
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 2: I check and I can't even fathom what I see.

844
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 2: My wife and this guy from her work, who is

845
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 2: eight years younger, are spicy texting and sending videos and pics,

846
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 2: talking about how great the spicy sleet.

847
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 5: Was, and then me and then me oh, and talking

848
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 5: about He is.

849
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 2: Saying how I am some wimp who can't get a

850
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 2: real job taking care of his women, and my wife

851
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 2: agrees with him. How critical you asked him to quit.

852
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 5: How devastating, just devastating.

853
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:47,439
Speaker 2: We're doing so much. You've sacrificed your career to take

854
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 2: care of your kids and to take care of your wife.

855
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 5: And she's cheating, cheating on you, and then in.

856
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 2: Soulding you for that decision that you guys made together

857
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 2: and she asked for you to make. I couldn't believe

858
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 2: this crap I saw. I was so devastated and angry

859
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 2: all at the same time. I heard my wife coming back,

860
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 2: so I closed the app and started videoing now on

861
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 2: the ride home, and when we got home, my wife

862
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 2: tries to talk to me, and I'm not in the mood. Eventually,

863
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 2: we lay in bed and for the first time, I

864
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 2: guess they hadn't met in a while, tried to have

865
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 2: spicy sleep. I tell her I'm not in the mood.

866
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 2: She says, if you're going to be a bee about everything,

867
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 2: you can sleep on the couch and also, regardless of

868
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 2: whether or not they were going through something, to punish

869
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 2: someone for not wanting to sleep with you is disgusting.

870
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 5: Agreed. Also, why are you why the second you're in

871
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 5: private not bring this up? Yeah, bring up that you

872
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 5: know that she's cheating on you.

873
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 2: People process processes things differently. I got up and went

874
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 2: to the couch, and it have been years since. I

875
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 2: don't know how to move forward with this. I really

876
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 2: just don't know where to start. My wife was my everything,

877
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 2: my girls, of my world, and all of that is dying.

878
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, Sophia, clone to make them feel a fake sense

879
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 5: of security. That makes sense, like your world's falling apart

880
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 5: and you just don't want to accept it, just for

881
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 5: a little bit.

882
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, just just hold off a little bit longer, especially

883
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 2: when you have kids. Yeah, I don't. I don't know

884
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 2: how to bring this up. I don't know how to

885
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 2: handle this.

886
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 5: It's a lot.

887
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 2: Any advice would be wonderful, as I really effing need it.

888
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 2: Edit should mention I did send screenshots of the conversation

889
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,720
Speaker 2: to my phone. I do have the evidence.

890
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 5: That's smart.

891
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 2: That's good for Yeah. For divorce update update. Hi everyone,

892
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 2: I want to thank you all for the advice you

893
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 2: gave me. First off, I do have the text picks,

894
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 2: videos and everything. Second, I don't own any of the company.

895
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 2: It's fifty to fifty between her and my mother in law. Third,

896
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 2: I can't sleep in the bed. I have been sleeping

897
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 2: in the guest bedroom every night and that is where

898
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 2: I'll be staying. To answer, I have decided to divorce her,

899
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 2: which I mean. An thirteen says, first step is getting

900
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 2: evidence and talking to an attorney. Really important here because

901
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:07,800
Speaker 2: he is a stay at home dad doesn't have income.

902
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 5: Yeah.

903
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 2: Sure, Anyway, this morning I called a firm in another

904
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:14,839
Speaker 2: town to avoid anyone finding out. Thankfully they were able

905
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 2: to get me in this morning as someone had canceled.

906
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 2: After dropping off my girls, I drove over there to

907
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 2: make a long story short. He is a very good lawyer.

908
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 2: I showed him what I had. But yeah, he said

909
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 2: that luckily for me, with the evidence I have, she

910
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 2: will be pretty much screwed in the divorce. Seeing as

911
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 2: I quit my job to raise our girls, she's never home,

912
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 2: she's having an affair, and prioritizes this man over me

913
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 2: and my girls. She will lose very easily. He basically said,

914
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 2: we will get child support alimony. I will keep the

915
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 2: house and she will have to pay for it as

916
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 2: long as my girls live there. Also, he stated that

917
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,240
Speaker 2: we could even try for more money since I'm considered

918
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 2: no longer viable in the working.

919
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 5: World because of his angel or maybe.

920
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 2: You know, maybe like the skills that he had are

921
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 2: no longer applicable, something like that. Doubt me pay for

922
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 2: more education to get a job. Some of you are right,

923
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 2: he said, to not work until after the divorce is over.

924
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 2: He said, you are the husband. If you have a job,

925
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 2: you can lose a lot of this. He asked if

926
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 2: I wanted full custody. I said that I don't mind

927
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 2: my wife seeing her girls on the weekends every once

928
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,719
Speaker 2: in a while. Yeah, but I would want mostly full custody.

929
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 2: He said, since she had an affair in the marital home,

930
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 2: I can basically do what I want. Since she started

931
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 2: bringing a strange man over to the house, putting the

932
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 2: girls in danger, making her guilty. So I will be

933
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 2: going for full custody where she can get weekends once

934
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,880
Speaker 2: maybe twice a month. No man will be allowed around

935
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 2: my girls, and if there are, she could face problems

936
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 2: by me if I find out. I just don't want

937
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 2: that pos around my girls, which is totally fair.

938
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 5: I don't know its full full customer.

939
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 2: No, I mean not totally fair, not wanting a stranger

940
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 2: who was cheating with your wife around your kids.

941
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 5: Sure.

942
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,240
Speaker 2: He eventually said to keep quiet until the drafts are ready,

943
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 2: and then he'll issue someone to serve her and have

944
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 2: it issued that she is required to leave the home.

945
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,479
Speaker 2: He said he should have it done sometime next week.

946
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 2: And there is more to this update.

947
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,880
Speaker 5: She wasn't. I'm not defending her for the record, like

948
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 5: she cheated, Yeah, but I think that's breaking the family.

949
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 5: But she wasn't abandoning the kids. She was just she

950
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 5: was working. It's a normal family orientation for one person

951
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 5: to be at home and for another person to be working. Yeah,

952
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 5: abandoning your.

953
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:37,840
Speaker 2: Kids, I will say, from what we know, it doesn't

954
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 2: seem like she was like a super bad mom from

955
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 2: what we know so far, like a bad partner. Absolutely.

956
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 2: So that's what they said. So apparently they have some

957
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,800
Speaker 2: sort of proof that he's been coming over to the house,

958
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 2: in which case is pretty not good. He asked me

959
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 2: to just keep quiet, He said, I know it's hard

960
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 2: and you're upset, but just shut the heck up till

961
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 2: everything is done. Once the divorce is over, you can

962
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 2: say whatever the heck you want about her, but until then,

963
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 2: keep your mouth shut. He said, act as normal. He said,

964
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 2: no fights, no issues, sleep in separate bed, and no

965
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 2: spicy sleep. I said, no problem. But why, he said,

966
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 2: trust me, just don't do it and do as I say.

967
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 2: This guy's like, don't don't you know?

968
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 5: Why do you? I mean, how long? I guess you're

969
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 5: just like trying to keep the peace until you can

970
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:31,280
Speaker 5: get some evidence.

971
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 2: I so, yeah, and so like, oh, he can get

972
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 2: as much, you know, stuff as possible. I guess, so

973
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 2: to blindside them. I don't know. I don't know how

974
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 2: divorce proceedings work.

975
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 5: Really, I hate.

976
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 2: Harriet's spaghetti was personal. Harriets Spaghetti says people who bring

977
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 2: random adults there dating around their kids are not responsible.

978
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 2: Parents shouldn't introduce the kids until it's serious. I do

979
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 2: agree with that.

980
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, but he never said that the kids had

981
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 5: met the person she was cheating, just that they've.

982
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 2: Been in the house. Yeah, that's what it seems like. Yeah,

983
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 2: I just got home and I've started getting ready for

984
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 2: dinner and acting and being normal.

985
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 5: Zora from Missouri says the fair partner shouldn't be an

986
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 5: issue in regards to the kids unless he's been proven

987
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 5: to be dangerous.

988
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 2: I agree, I think, I think again, I need to

989
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 2: know a little bit more about the relationship, like if

990
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:25,359
Speaker 2: he's being brought around these.

991
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 5: Kids, Like, for example, a mom could bring a friend

992
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 5: around the kids. People are bringing up, you know, conversations

993
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,720
Speaker 5: around sexual abuse. Yeah, if a parent brings a friend

994
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 5: around their kids, and no one's going to be like,

995
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 5: how dare you bring a stranger around your kids? It's

996
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 5: someone that the parent has a relationship with. This is true,

997
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 5: and just because it's a it's a relationship where they're

998
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 5: breaking their marital relationship.

999
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 2: Not necessarily putting the kids in dangerous Yeah, that's why

1000
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 2: I need to know a little bit more information. I

1001
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 2: will be acting as if everything is okay until she

1002
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 2: has served next week, as I can only make two updates. Yes,

1003
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 2: I actually read the rules on here. Anymore, we'll be

1004
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 2: on my page if anyone cares. Thank you for the

1005
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 2: advice and some very harsh words. And to the one

1006
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 2: guy who asked for my wife's spicy pigs, just.

1007
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 5: No, the internet is crazy.

1008
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 2: You guys are weird. Yeah, it seems all you have

1009
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 2: to do is ask her and she'll send them, so

1010
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 2: it isn't that hard.

1011
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 1: A the.

1012
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:25,720
Speaker 2: Quick at it, he recommended I get an STD test

1013
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:30,320
Speaker 2: plus a DNA test on my girls. When I asked why,

1014
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 2: he said, it is pretty rare in incidents like this

1015
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 2: where this is the first time this has happened. So yeah,

1016
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 2: that effing hurt to hear and scared the heck out

1017
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 2: of me. Let's get into this next update. Hey everyone,

1018
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 2: I just want to thank you to all who sent

1019
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 2: me good messages over this period. I have been feeling

1020
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 2: down and things have been rough. To preface, I have

1021
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 2: talked to my lawyers about these posts. I didn't go

1022
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 2: into too much detail. They did tell me though, as

1023
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,320
Speaker 2: long as I could keep them brief and not super specific,

1024
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 2: then I could post. But I just have to be

1025
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 2: careful about what I put on to not lead to

1026
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:05,720
Speaker 2: too many details. That is that. So for a quick update,

1027
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:09,279
Speaker 2: like it said, it will be brief and not too

1028
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,240
Speaker 2: specific for legal reasons. We will start with the test.

1029
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 2: I was able to get an STD on myself and

1030
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 2: a paternity test on my girls. I came out that

1031
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 2: I thankfully have no diseases. And I'm clear that's good.

1032
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 2: Since I've been pretty much the spicy sleepless from her

1033
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 2: for the last year, I wasn't all that surprised. Yeah,

1034
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,959
Speaker 2: I was gonna say if he was, like, I wasn't

1035
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 2: sleeping with her at all, and the one time she

1036
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:32,399
Speaker 2: offered I said no.

1037
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 1: So yeah.

1038
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: Now for the one that I'm sure most of you

1039
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 2: are wondering, the test on my two girls. Am I

1040
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 2: the dad? I will always be their dad regardless of

1041
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 2: the vult of the results. However, I am here to

1042
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 2: say that yes, I am their biological father.

1043
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 5: That was like, uh, that was like a hell mary

1044
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 5: of a guest. I'm sure test, but like that was

1045
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 5: out there.

1046
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 2: I have never been so happy to know that I

1047
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 2: am their dad. Never thought I would have to question it.

1048
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 2: But here we are. As for what has happened with

1049
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 2: soon to be X while she is out of the

1050
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 2: house and I have been granted full temporary custody.

1051
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 5: People are saying, I don't know what full custody is.

1052
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 5: I don't.

1053
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 2: From what my understanding is, full custody means that you're

1054
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:22,720
Speaker 2: not necessarily seeing them, like, you're not necessarily not allowing

1055
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:25,320
Speaker 2: them to see their mom. It's just that you get

1056
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 2: to say how much they see.

1057
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 5: Them all okay, so right now in charge of.

1058
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 2: The time, you're doling out the amount of time they

1059
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 2: see their mom. So right now he's saying they're only

1060
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 2: going to see her weekends once or twice a month.

1061
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 2: So that's what the full custody means.

1062
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 4: Got it.

1063
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 5: Still disagree, but so for now.

1064
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 2: She's out of the house. My lawyer set everything up

1065
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 2: for me to get my girls and make sure that

1066
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 2: we legally handled her being removed from the home. It

1067
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,240
Speaker 2: wasn't pretty, but details for another time. She was served

1068
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,320
Speaker 2: at work and from on I know it wasn't pretty,

1069
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 2: Like I said, though details for another time. My girls

1070
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 2: know what's going on. My oldest nos we're separating and

1071
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 2: one of her friend's parents split for the same reason.

1072
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 2: She has seen what happened with her friend and doesn't

1073
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 2: want us to split. She's been crying for me to

1074
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 2: let Mommy come home. I will be getting them in

1075
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 2: with a child therapist to explain and help them understand

1076
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 2: from the direction of my lawyer. My youngest just wants

1077
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 2: Mommy to come home and misses her. It kills me

1078
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 2: and makes me feel like a terrible father. And they

1079
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 2: probably hate me. Now. Sometimes I think I should just

1080
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,399
Speaker 2: let their mother cheat on me to keep the family unit,

1081
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 2: to make my girls happy.

1082
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 5: That is a good decision.

1083
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 2: That's a bad Yeah. I just can't do that. Sometimes

1084
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 2: I think about talking about allowing an open relationship and

1085
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 2: we can just wait till the girls are older, But

1086
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 2: that won't work for me. No, you're bad. Plus, I

1087
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 2: know the girls will pick up on it and will

1088
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,919
Speaker 2: not like it that mommy and daddy don't love each other.

1089
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 2: As for my ex, she is living with her mother

1090
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,799
Speaker 2: at this point. My mother in law has called me

1091
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,839
Speaker 2: and asked to meet. I agreed, and we will meet

1092
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 2: at some point. She didn't ask for details, as she

1093
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 2: said we will talk later, but begged me not to

1094
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 2: take her granddaughters away from her. I said, you are

1095
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 2: a great and loving grandmother, and as long as you

1096
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:13,840
Speaker 2: can separate my girls from what is going on between

1097
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 2: your daughter and I, I see no issue with you

1098
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 2: being able to see them, and I will not take

1099
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 2: them out of your life. She thanked me, and that

1100
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 2: is it. My ex has been trying to call me

1101
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 2: and text me, trying to figure us out under direction

1102
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,839
Speaker 2: of my lawyer. He has had it set up so

1103
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 2: that I can talk to her through a trackable method

1104
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:35,720
Speaker 2: and it is purely about the girls, no more, no less.

1105
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,800
Speaker 2: So that is it for now. We'll probably keep updating

1106
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,399
Speaker 2: and once this is all over, we'll make one big

1107
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 2: update for all the details I have to be careful

1108
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 2: about as of now, and there is an updates. Hey everyone,

1109
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 2: I thought I would give everyone a small update on

1110
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 2: some stuff that has happened. So first off, I had

1111
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving with my soon to be X and mother in law. Okay,

1112
00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 2: I did this purely for the girls and made sure

1113
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 2: with my lawyer this was only about the girls and

1114
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 2: not about reconciliation. That was taken care of. First, I

1115
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 2: met with my mother in law pre Thanksgiving. We met

1116
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,879
Speaker 2: and had a pretty mutual discussion, mainly just thinks about

1117
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,759
Speaker 2: how we will handle my daughters. After my mother in

1118
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 2: law did tell me some stuff about my soon to

1119
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 2: be X. I guess my soon to be X was

1120
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:26,360
Speaker 2: cheated on by her high school boyfriend. What she's like,

1121
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:29,799
Speaker 2: she was cheated on? She had to cheat on you?

1122
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 2: Uh huh, didn't even know she dated anyone. I guess

1123
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 2: this guy comes from one of those families. According to

1124
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 2: my mother in law, and they told her to avoid him. Well,

1125
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 2: I guess one night she caught him with his head

1126
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:43,320
Speaker 2: under another girl's dress and tongue deep in a girl's

1127
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 2: jewelry box. I know this is why my mother in

1128
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 2: law couldn't believe she would do this.

1129
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:50,919
Speaker 5: Oh, so it's more just like shock.

1130
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, like she went through this. Why would she get

1131
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 2: this to someone else. She had a couple boyfriends in college,

1132
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 2: but she knew they wouldn't last. She said that as

1133
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:01,000
Speaker 2: soon as she met me, she found her son in

1134
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 2: law says she is so sorry for daughter's actions and

1135
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 2: will make sure that she doesn't try to do anything

1136
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 2: problematic with the divorce anyway. A couple days before Thanksgiving,

1137
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,839
Speaker 2: my mother in law asked for me to come over

1138
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 2: for dinner with the girls. I said, will she be there?

1139
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,359
Speaker 2: She said yes. I said I can't be with her there.

1140
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 2: She said she understands, but asked if we could put

1141
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 2: on the holiday once more, one more time for the girls.

1142
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 2: She said, I know you have a lawyer. Ask them

1143
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 2: and if they say it's a bad idea, I get it.

1144
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 2: I did, and they said, tell your wife via the app.

1145
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 2: This is purely for the girls to avoid any confusion.

1146
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 2: So I did. She had contacted me before about coming over.

1147
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 2: She's been begging me to see me and the girls.

1148
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 2: The girls have been begging me to see their mom.

1149
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,399
Speaker 2: I swallowed my pride for my girls and we went.

1150
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 2: It was awkward. My sonib acts gave our daughters a

1151
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 2: hug fine, then tried to hug and kiss me. No, no, no, no, though, no,

1152
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 2: get out of here. Weird.

1153
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 5: Oh.

1154
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 2: I just avoided her and went to give my mother

1155
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 2: in law a hug. My soon to be X tried

1156
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 2: to act like husband and wife and was trying to

1157
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:11,279
Speaker 2: talk to me. I answered with yes and nose and

1158
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 2: help my mother in law finish dinner and clean up.

1159
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 2: My mother in law is religious and wanted to do

1160
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:17,879
Speaker 2: a prayer, and my soon to be X sat next

1161
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 2: to me. I held my daughter's hand and my wife

1162
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 2: tried to grab mine. I pulled away. I know it

1163
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,800
Speaker 2: may seem petty, but I don't want her touching me.

1164
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,879
Speaker 2: I'm an atheist, but out of respect for my mother

1165
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 2: in law, I go along with it. Dinner was fine again,

1166
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 2: soon to be X trying to act like we're going

1167
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 2: to be married and asking about Christmas and vacations. I

1168
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 2: guess she wants to take with us as a family.

1169
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 2: When she mentioned this stuff, I knew going over was

1170
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 2: a mistake. We finished dinner and I pretty much got up,

1171
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 2: cleaned my daughters and eye dishes, then was ready to go.

1172
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,319
Speaker 2: My daughters wanted to watch a movie with their mother

1173
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 2: that we always watch. I let them, and my soon

1174
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 2: to be X tried to cuddle next to me on

1175
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 2: the couch. I sat in a chair after that. This

1176
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 2: is really annoying, Yeah, because he is trying.

1177
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then she's like giving him affection.

1178
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 2: I hate that. My mother in law was very mad

1179
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 2: at my soon to be X the whole night for

1180
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 2: how she acted. I could tell by the looks she

1181
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 2: gave her. Movie ended and we started to leave. My

1182
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 2: daughters fell asleep, so I carried them to the car,

1183
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 2: went in to grab something, and my soon to BEX

1184
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 2: grabbed me in tears, begging to work on things and

1185
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 2: that she wants to be a family and is so

1186
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 2: sorry for what happened. Before I could say anything, my

1187
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 2: mother in law grabbed her by the hair, not joking,

1188
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 2: yanking her, told me good night, and began yelling at

1189
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 2: her daughter.

1190
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 5: You damn is fed up the whole night. What doing so.

1191
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:49,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, told my lawyer everything and said nothing indicated reconciliation,

1192
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:52,720
Speaker 2: and you made that clear in your messages. You're fine.

1193
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 2: Wife once again called and begged to work on us.

1194
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 2: She gets left on red. I will only talk about

1195
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,320
Speaker 2: the girls, and I'm sure they're going to want to

1196
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 2: do the same for Christmas. I don't know if I

1197
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 2: can or if it's okay. Once again, I will discuss

1198
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 2: it with my lawyer and you can discuss all sorts

1199
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 2: of things with us by joining us live every weekday

1200
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 2: a three PMPSD on YouTube. Just top our profile and

1201
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 2: there is one final update. But I do really feel

1202
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 2: for Op in this situation of like having to deal

1203
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 2: with your ex for the kids, but just also having

1204
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 2: to deal with someone who's hurt you so much and

1205
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 2: who continues to hurt you. This will not be long,

1206
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:35,839
Speaker 2: but things have gotten very bad for my girls.

1207
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 1: No.

1208
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,800
Speaker 2: Basically, my girls had two sessions this week with their therapist.

1209
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 2: The first one was good. My girls came out what

1210
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 2: seemed to be more peaceful and calmer than usual. I

1211
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 2: talked to the therapist after and she seemed to be

1212
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 2: very good and understood my girls well. So I took

1213
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 2: them to their second one, and everything is completely a ft. Basically,

1214
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 2: the therapist explained in age appropriate he that the reason

1215
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 2: me and their mother are separating is that their mother cheated,

1216
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 2: had an affair, and betrayed me. I knew eventually she would,

1217
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,879
Speaker 2: but I didn't think it would happen this soon. Why

1218
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 2: would you not talk to the parents and say, hey,

1219
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 2: we're bringing this up.

1220
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 5: That is insane, so inappropriate, inappropriate, close that information to

1221
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 5: your kids.

1222
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 2: To kids, well, it seems like all people's like, oh,

1223
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 2: I knew it was happening, but they never told him.

1224
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,399
Speaker 2: Like that's like a thing you say, hey, this is happening.

1225
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:33,360
Speaker 5: Today, or it's a thing of like them have you.

1226
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 5: It's not even the I'm a therapist, I placed to

1227
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:40,719
Speaker 5: tell the kids. You tell the parents job to tell

1228
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 5: their kids.

1229
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

1230
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 5: And if the therapist was going to do that, it's

1231
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:48,319
Speaker 5: like a kid's by a request of the parents and

1232
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:51,839
Speaker 5: it's not on their own discord of like like, oh,

1233
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:52,760
Speaker 5: I'm just going to tell.

1234
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:57,080
Speaker 2: Them absolutely, this is crazy. That is a huge overstep.

1235
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 2: I went to get my girls and basically it was

1236
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:01,840
Speaker 2: a burst of tea and them climbing all over me

1237
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 2: and giving me hugs. Crying, saying they love me. I'm

1238
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 2: happy they love me, but this is not what I

1239
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:10,320
Speaker 2: wanted to happen with my girls. I asked the therapist

1240
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 2: why she told them. She said, the girls knew you

1241
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,279
Speaker 2: two are separating, and the girls noticed you seem to

1242
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,919
Speaker 2: be really mean and unloving with their mother. Your girls

1243
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:20,879
Speaker 2: aren't stupid, she told me. They know how you are,

1244
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 2: and they know how you treat their Mom's something. They

1245
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 2: wanted to know why you're separating. That's not your place.

1246
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:29,399
Speaker 2: That's what you talk to him about and you tell

1247
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,239
Speaker 2: him that, Hey, how you know I've noticed that they're

1248
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 2: they've been thinking about.

1249
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 5: This and see you treating their mom in a certain way,

1250
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 5: and they have questions about it.

1251
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:42,839
Speaker 2: Literally, never go back to that therapist again. Yeah, they

1252
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 2: wanted to know why you're separating. I tried to walk

1253
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 2: around at the best I could. She said, but the

1254
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 2: girls are not going to progress to progress in therapy if.

1255
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 1: We don't tell them decision.

1256
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 2: Literally, no, I'm not going to go into detail on

1257
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 2: what exactly she said to them, but it was age appropriate.

1258
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 2: But they know, oh, the age appropriate version of their

1259
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:05,760
Speaker 2: mom being unfaithful. I think my oldest could maybe handle

1260
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 2: this and be okay, but not my youngest. So we

1261
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 2: get home and my girls won't let go of me.

1262
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,800
Speaker 2: They're literally crying the whole night. So I ordered food,

1263
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 2: put in their favorite movies in my bedroom, and we

1264
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 2: laid there all night. Oh. They fell asleep and I

1265
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 2: went to the bathroom and just cried. Also just imagining

1266
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 2: this as like an adult, remembering this is like like

1267
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 2: this childhood moment where your therapist told you that your

1268
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 2: parents were like cheated.

1269
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, that would.

1270
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 2: Be such a wild moment, be like what that happened.

1271
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 2: They fell asleep and I went to the bathroom and

1272
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 2: just cried. My soon to be acts doesn't even realize

1273
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:47,960
Speaker 2: the pain she's causing her girls. I don't know how

1274
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 2: I'm going to deal with this. The therapist told me

1275
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,080
Speaker 2: we could try medication for a bit till they get

1276
00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 2: used to the new normal.

1277
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 5: Okay, ah, there you go to a different time.

1278
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 2: I feel like we shore maybe going to theist. I

1279
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 2: refuse to do so, which she supported and said it

1280
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 2: was just an option and I'm not drugging them. Disclaimer.

1281
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 2: She cannot give the drugs. She said they would need

1282
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 2: to see their primary and they would probably diagnose my

1283
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,600
Speaker 2: girls with something that would allow them to medicate them.

1284
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 2: You know, they just found out that their parents are

1285
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:18,680
Speaker 2: cheating and they were like, oh, crying and stuff, and

1286
00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 2: she's like, you should drug them.

1287
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 5: You don't medicate people for going through hardship in life.

1288
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 2: What what?

1289
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 5: That's not the first response to hardship is to medicate.

1290
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 2: There is such a huge difference between being sad about

1291
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:35,920
Speaker 2: something that's just happened and going through like a depressive episode.

1292
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:38,520
Speaker 2: Those are like so different.

1293
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 5: Hardship is a part of life.

1294
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 2: You don't just medicate for hardship purely for ours. I'm

1295
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 2: not saying that you don't medicate for other reasons, but

1296
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:46,920
Speaker 2: this is we don't what.

1297
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 5: This whole story is crazy.

1298
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this therapist. Never go back to this

1299
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:55,880
Speaker 2: therapist ever again.

1300
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 5: There's so many like therapy wonderful, but there are so

1301
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 5: many freaking therapists out there. It's crazy.

1302
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 2: I won't have to worry about Christmas as my daughters

1303
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 2: hate their mother now because of this freaking therapist. I

1304
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 2: hate this therapist.

1305
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, how do I know?

1306
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 2: My oldest says she never wants to see her mom again.

1307
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 2: I hate literally the service thought sucks.

1308
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 5: I mean, that's that's kind of probably would have been

1309
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 5: her reaction and finding out absolutely.

1310
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 2: But like totally different. I don't know. There's just so

1311
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 2: many better ways where both parents could have been.

1312
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 5: Fall for sure, and to share it in a way

1313
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 5: that's just not dropping a bomb from a stranger.

1314
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, And also, like these kids are valid in their

1315
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 2: emotions if they don't want to see their parents, right,

1316
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:42,400
Speaker 2: like their mom, that's fair, but like could have been yeah,

1317
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 2: and told much better. My oldest says she never wants

1318
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 2: to see her mom again. My youngest follows follows what

1319
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,200
Speaker 2: her older sister says, even though she may actually agree.

1320
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 2: I was shocked. I said, you don't hate her. You

1321
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 2: may be mad, but you don't hate her. She loves

1322
00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 2: and cares about you. My oldest just said, no, she doesn't,

1323
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,400
Speaker 2: and then just cried in my arms until she fell asleep.

1324
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 2: So did my youngest. So this is my life now,

1325
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 2: and that is the end of that story.

1326
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 5: That one took a toll on that ouchy ouch ouch.

1327
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:16,160
Speaker 2: That was that was ouch.

1328
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 5: That was an ouch one breather. What the kids are

1329
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 5: saying now, it's not representative of you know, after after

1330
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 5: things come to some new normal and after things settle

1331
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,200
Speaker 5: in some way, it's not indicative of you know, how

1332
01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:31,160
Speaker 5: they're going to proceed or if they you know, when

1333
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 5: they grow up, of like how they're going to go

1334
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,240
Speaker 5: about it. I think most kids react. I mean, yeah,

1335
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 5: I think most people would react to this way and

1336
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:39,280
Speaker 5: to like say big things.

1337
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 1: But